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POWER OF A WOMAN IN LOVE

28 Apr

POWER OF A WOMAN IN LOVE

The wife often holds the key to the QUALITY of romance that is in the marriage.

On yesterdays post, we covered surveys where men scored high on wanting more romance in their marriage.

The confusion came when husbands FEARED failure in being successful to plan a romantic event.

We will be using the information from the book ,”For Women Only” by Shaunti Feldhahn.

So what are some of the things that a wife can do to support a romantic event?

First, encourage him.

For some reason, wives don’t think that their husbands need encouragement in an area like developing a romantic event.

Everyone needs encouragement, even the GREATEST of men.  Lets look at this next verse.

Deut.1:38 But Joshua the son of Nun, which standeth before thee, he shall go in tither: encourage him: for he shall cause Israel to inherit it.”

Listen up girls!!  Here are Moses, Joshua and others, who are great men, with great power.  You would think that they would not need encouragement, but they did.  Regardless of the amount of authority or responsibility, the possibility of failure is always present.

How much more do our husbands need it.

Your appreciation as his wife, is always necessary when your husband is outside his COMFORT zone, like planning a romantic event.

One man said, “Encourage me and affirm my effort, and I will run through a brick wall to please you.

Another husband said, “I am willing to be a fool for you, but just tell me that I did good.  And give me sex.  That helps too.”

Remember, many men view taking romantic initiative as a huge risk—a risk of “being humiliated” or “feeling inadequate”.

When he makes an effort, you have to prove to your man it’s not a risk!

The next time he asks you to “go outside and play”, don’t tell him that you have to do the dishes.  Remember, this is his version of a candlelight dinner.

Second, Entice him.

Many men have said that in work or in romance, they are always looking for something to conquer.

Keep it fresh—give him something to pursue.  Go with him for a walk, run, tennis, etc.

Make yourself the kind of friend and lover he constantly wants to PURSUE.

It is learning to give what the other person needs and enjoying the resulting God-ordained fruits of YOUR self-lessness.

The Christian walk is one of self-denial, which we are COMMANDED to live by.  Luke 9:23.

Third, keep him number one.

Are you putting a DAMPER on your husband’s enthusiasm by letting too many other priorities interfere with romance?

Are you unconsciously making your kids a priority over your husband?

On the survey, several men expressed that their wives spent too much time DOTING on the children and not enough doting on their relationship.

Many husbands have said that there is a sense of  “I’ve lost my wife”.

Some men said, “It’s not just the kids that steal my wife, it’s the whole “to do list”.

Is that you??  Do you have a “to do list” that is bigger than your quality time with hubby?

Has your husband lost his wife?

Right now you have a tremendous OPPORTUNITY to start over with your man!!

ON YOUR MARK, GET SET, GOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post.  Daily there is a new post.


DO MEN WANT ROMANCE, TOO?

27 Apr

DO MEN WANT ROMANCE, TOO?

Of course men want romance, you silly rabbit!!!

But you don’t have to take my word for it.

In the book, “For Women Only”, by Shaunti Feldhahn, she did surveys on this subject so we will find out from the men themselves.

Let’s find out what men are really like when it comes to romance or do they just think about it differently than we do?

You might be thinking that it is just something they’re happy to put up with as long as they get sex afterward?

This next comment by Shaunti might surprise you or make you very happy.

According to her findings, most men feel that they are secret romantics who—like most of us—don’t experience nearly as much intimacy in their primary love relationship as they’d like.

The great news is that our husbands long for connection, togetherness, and a fun, intimate time…with us.

Most women think that men don’t really care about romance but men want romance, too.

On a survey, men were asked if they desired romantic events, regardless if they planned it or if their spouse planned it.

84% of the men said, YES, very much or YES, somewhat.

14% of the men said, they could take it or leave it.

2% said that they don’t care for it.

One husband responded, “I wish my wife knew that I needed romance, that I also needed touching and hugs as much as she does.”

Women think, well if men want to do romantic things, why don’t they?

According to the surveys taken, the male responses fall into two catchall categories:  internal hesitation and the “gender gap” in definitions of romance.

First, Internal Hesitation

Men were asked if they could put together a romantic event that you know your spouse would enjoy?

88% felt they could put together a romantic event.

The problem is that almost half, (46%) aren’t confident you’ll like their romantic efforts.

Three distinct concerns that caused hesitation.

  1. Self-doubt.  I won’t do a very good job.  This self-doubt turns into doing nothing at all.  He risks humiliation if he does it wrong.
  2. Haunted by romantic failures.  They may have failed in the past and are sensitive to criticism or teasing.
  3. It’s difficult to change gears.  Some men need to decompress somehow before he can think about being a romantic, loving husband.  After, a hard days work, a man needs his wife to understand and give him that time.  He will then be a happier and more available husband the rest of the evening.

Two gender gap definitions romance.

  1. Playing together is very romantic.  Men love to go out and do things together which is incredibly romantic.  The woman who is having fun with her husband is incredibly attractive.  They want to do “guy things” with their wives.  This is his version of a “candle-light dinner”.
  2. Romance without sex may not seem complete.  If men are romantic, they want sex.  After setting up a romantic event, it can be intensely disappointing to not have sex for him.  Romance is all about escaping—escaping with the one you love.

1Cor.4:7 “For who maketh thee to differ from another?”  We know that answer.   God made each one of us different.

Another survey was taken from men who were asked, “If you take sex out of the equation, which of the following do you find more romantic for yourself.”

Almost 60% of men desired the “traditional” (candle-light dinners, etc.) definition of romance.  Almost 40% desired an “active”  (hiking, etc.) model.

Have you been missing out on opportunities to have some romantic time with your “hubby” just because you didn’t know it was romantic.

Come on girls.  Let’s get with it.

A few weeks ago, I had a friend go to the shooting range with her husband for the first time.

She loved it!!  I won’t tell you who got the better score.  Wink!Wink!

John 10:10  “The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.”

God desires that we have an abundant life with our spouse.

Whatever it takes girls!!  Every widow would agree with me!!

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post.  Daily there is a new post.


IT’S SHOWTIME!

30 Mar

Sometimes us wives just fall asleep on the job.

We forget how IMPORTANT our position is in the life of our spouse.

Judges 5:12  “Awake, awake, Deborah: awake, awake, utter a song…”

Who is Deborah?

Right now I would like to tell you that if I had to tell you what woman I think is the greatest woman who ever lived, I would have to say Golda Meir.  She was the Prime Minister of Israel.  She was in office when the Six Day War happened in 1967.  The Arabs were always a major threat to the Jews during her duration in office.  The Arabs were going to wipe out all the Jews in Israel but God used her to get the weapons at the last minute so they could defend themselves.  SHE WAS TRULY A WOMAN OF VALOR.

Golda Meir has a remarkable life story!

SO DO YOU!!!!

In Judges 5:12, why were they singing this song to Deborah to wake up?

Who is she?   Is she that important?

Judges 4:4-5 “…And Deborah a prophetess…dwelt under the palm tree…” Deborah was a prophetess who was resting and minding her own business.  She was well known because people would go to her to hear a word from the Lord.

She sent for a commander of the army, Barak, and gave him a message from God.  That message was to get ten thousand men, go after the captain of Jabin’s army, and God would deliver him into Baraks hands.

In verse 8, his response to her was that he would go do it if she went with him and the army.  If she would not go, then he would not do what God wanted him to do.

Deborah told Barak that she would go with him to war, but because she had to go, God was going to let a woman kill Sisera.  Deborah went with the army but it is not recorded that she fought with the men.    In Judges 4:21, a woman named Jael killed the captain of Jabin’s army just like Deborah said the Lord told her.

Why did I mention this story?

It isn’t every day that we hear about a woman being used in such a DANGEROUS POSITION.

Also, God made it a point to have it placed in the Holy Scriptures so that everyone would know about it.

Obviously, God could have used anyone, but he chose to use these two women.

This was SPIRITUAL WARFARE!!

2Cor.10:4  “For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds.”

God has placed at our disposal SPIRITUAL ARTILLARY.

The word “warfare” is taken from the word stratos. The word stratos is where we derive the word strategy.

Spiritual warfare is STRATEGICALLY PLANNED.

Fight like a soldier!

We are to partner along side our husbands and go to war, with God leading the battle.

2Cor.6:1 “We then, as workers together with him…”

In the Greek, it describes workers who are “connected” and “joined” to each other in the pursuit of a shared goal.

You and your husband are not working alone, you are fellow workers with God.

You are not working by yourself for God.

God is with us, working on the same task, at the same time and he is cooperating with us as a PARTNER.

This is exactly why the verse says,  “…workers together with him…”

Barak went to Deborah because she was a professional and not an amateur.

He knew that she was a woman of valor and would stick with him through the battle.

God went before them and gave them VICTORY!!

God is trying to put professionalism in our lives.

In wartime, a THEATER is a region in which active military operations are in progress.  It is the BATTLEFIELDS!

AWAKE!  AWAKE!  AWAKE!

IT’S SHOWTIME !!!!


NOTE: Don’t miss tomorrows post!  Daily there is a new post.

PAYBACK DAY!

29 Mar

Everyone LOVES payday!

Especially, if there is a shoe sale going on somewhere within a 20 mile radius.  Well, for the girlfriends anyway!

Many women get that same “rush” on payback day.

What is payback day?  That is the day when you get to act like a “junkyard dog!”

Has your husband ever done something that got you so FURIOUS?

You have decided that when you are through with him, he will never mess with you again.

You start to contemplate EVIL.

The apostle Paul has a word from God for all us “out of control” wives.

1Pet. 3:9  “Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.”

In this verse, Paul is talking to married people with DESTRUCTIVE actions in progress.

The Greek words actually mean “Stop it!  Don’t do it anymore!  You should never do this!”

The word “evil” projects the ideas of INSULT, INJURY, HURT, and DAMAGE.

This would be a spouse that considers herself mishandled, violated, defiled, or humiliated.

I’m not going to tell you that no marriage is PERFECT!

But, NO marriage is perfect!

Luke 17:1 “Then said He unto his disciples, it is impossible that offenses will come…”

This is our warning that we, definitely will be offended by our spouses at some time or another.

God is trying to give us INSIGHT here.

He knows that satan will use bait as an opportunity to draw us into a pit of unforgiveness.

So how am I suppose to act when I am violated??

1Pet.3:8  “Finally, be ye all of ONE MIND, having COMPASSION one of another, LOVE as brethren, be PITIFUL, be COURTEOUS.”

This is a list of FIVE ATTITUDES desirable in Christian marriages.

First, spouses should be united in a common outlook and with common interests.

Second, spouses should have compassion, which basically means “suffering together.”

Third, spouses should love each other as brothers in the family of God.

Fourth, spouses should be tenderhearted or affectionately sensitive.

Fifth, spouses should be courteous or humble-minded.

A right word from you can TURN YOUR WHOLE MARRIAGE AROUND.

Do you really want to attack and tear down your spouse?

If you let the Holy Spirit have His way in your life, you will speak BLESSINGS over your spouse.

Your words will become the very FORCE that will turn your marriage around.

DON’T, DON’T, DON’T ever participate in PAYBACK DAY!

 

 

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post!!    Daily there is a new post!

A CARD HE’LL KEEP FOREVER!

18 Mar

 

A CARD HE’LL KEEP FOREVER

 

Prov.25:11  “The right word at the right time is like golden apples in silver jewelry.”  (NIRV)

Dr. Emerson Eggerichs suggests in his book “Love & Respect”, that we send our husbands a RESPECT CARD.

He states that through his research, men seldom keep cards from their wives that say she loves him and has hearts with Xs, and Os.

He said not to sign it, “I Love You”, because your husband knows that you love him.  He says to sign it “With All My Respect.”

He claims that your husband will keep that card FOREVER.

Why?  Because you are now speaking his language, RESPECT, and for him, that is very powerful.

I will go over the six concepts that will let him know how important and vital he is to you.  Ask yourself these questions then use your answers to express your appreciation to him.  Make it personal.

  1. CONQUEST – Appreciate his desire to work and achieve.
  2. HIERARCHY – Appreciate his desire to protect and provide.
  3. AUTHORITY – Appreciate his desire to serve and to lead.
  4. INSIGHT – Appreciate his desire to analyze and counsel.
  5. RELATIONSHIP – Appreciate his desire for shoulder-to-shoulder friendship.
  6. SEXUALITY – Appreciate his desire for sexual intimacy.

Prov.12:4  “A wife of noble character is her husband’s crown”  (NIV)

I remember helping a female relative through some tough times in her life.  It didn’t cost me a thing, I just encouraged her, called her on occasion, and let her know I was available for her and her family.  Years later, I saw her at a family function where she told me she had always wanted to send me a letter of thanks.  Obviously, I told her that was not necessary.  Years after that she sent me a letter.  She was very specific in how she felt.  I remember the words stating that I was like a sister to her at her time of need and that she will never forget it.  I don’t have a sister, so that letter meant quite a bit to me.  I have kept the card and letter.

You may have already decided that you are not going to participate in this assignment.

Maybe you feel, well I’m not going to do something that isn’t coming from my heart just cause everyone else will do it.

Sad to say, but your husband probably already realizes that you try harder to impress strangers than you try to impress him, the man who is suppose to be the most important person in your life.

Prov.31:11-12 “The heart of her husband doth safely TRUST in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.  She will do him GOOD and not evil ALL THE DAYS OF HER LIFE.”

Your husband only has YOU!!!  HE ONLY HAS HIS WIFE.

No one else has the privilege to send him a RESPECT CARD, only you.

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post!!  Saturday Questions & Answers

THE CRAZY CYCLE!

15 Mar

Do you want some PEACE?  Do you want to be UNDERSTOOD?

Take a few moments to read this post today

This will change your marriage and your life!!

I have to first tell you what I believe to be one of the best, if not the BEST  BOOK ON MARRIAGE.  “Love & Respect”  by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs.

This is a must for every marriage.  I recommend for each spouse to have their own copy and to write in it what God is showing you.

I will try and share some of the comments that are in his book with you.

CASE AND POINT:  This book changed by marriage and gave me the confidence that I could be the wife that I wanted to be and that God wanted me to be.  It is still my decision to apply the principles and Gods word to my marriage.  What I loved best, was the knowledge that I could turn my marriage around just by doing my part.  I don’t need a perfect husband, I just need to be obedient to Gods word!

THIS WORKS SO “LISTEN UP”!!

There is one scripture that will change everything, Ephesians 5:33.

Eph.5:33 “…let everyone of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she respect her husband.”

 

This is God’s MARRIAGE TREATISE and you need to mark it in your bible.

Every month I speak at the Los Angeles County Women’s Jail in Lynwood.  Any woman getting arrested in L.A. County goes to this jail.  Every month I tell the women this verse and tell them how they can turn their marriage around just on their own by respecting their husband.  I also have purchased this book and the chaplain gives them to any wife that asks for it.

For every 100 inmates, there are 200 children that will end up in a divorced home.  The statistics show that 50% of inmates have spouses that divorce them while in jail.  The other 50% who don’t end up divorced, a year after they get released, 75% of them end up in divorce.  So these children are first struggling with a parent being in jail, then they have to cope with living with just one parent or no parents.  After that, then coping with a divorce.  Just one of those issues is traumatic, but they are expected to deal with all three.

 

This is why I go to the jail, and this is the burden that God has laid on my heart.  PLEASE PRAY FOR THESE KIDS!!!

The journey to a satisfying marriage is NEVER OVER, so submit yourself wholeheartedly to Gods design for marriage.

There is no limit to the extent that you can IMPROVE your marriage.

Remember your husband was made to be respected and he expects to be respected.

When respect does not occur, he reacts WITHOUT  LOVE.

This is the CRAZY CYCLE.

Paul is saying in Ephesians 5:33 that wives need love and husbands need respect.

A wife is called to love even an unloving husband but it makes it especially hard to respect him.

The “Crazy Cycle” is described in Eccles.7:25 “…the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness.”

Be careful wives, because expressing dislike to your husband concerning something, can be interpreted as DISRESPECT.

God made us to be a link and he gifted us and entrusted us to do a good job.

YOU GO GIRL!!    We can do all things through Christ!!

NOTE:  Tomorrow we will continue on with this secret to a better marriage.

WIN!! WIN!!

10 Mar

WIN!!   WIN!!

 

There are seven things that God hates and arguments are one of them.

Prov.6:16-19  “These things the LORD hates…he that sows discord among brethren.”

 

All married couples say that it is necessary to argue some of the time.

What does God say?  No!!  Phil.2:14 “Do all things without murmurings and DISPUTING:”

 

In the Greek, the word “disputing” means DEBATE, DISCUSSION, REASONING, or THOUGHT.

In Phillipians we are told not to complain, debate, or try to reason if it is going to cause arguments with our spouse

Results never turn out good when we argue.  Job.6:25 “How forcible are right words!  What does your ARGUING PROVE?”

If our spouse makes us angry, how should we answer them?   Prov.15:1  “A soft answer turns away wrath: but GRIEVOUS words stirs up anger.”

 

The word grievous in the Hebrew means PAINFUL.

When we get mad, we start saying all kinds of painful things to our spouse.  We don’t mean to, but we start saying whatever the devil tells us to.

What starts arguments?????????????

Mark 7:21 Jesus said: “For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murder, thefts, covetousness,  wickedness, deceit, lasciviousness, an evil eye, blasphemy (cursing), pride, foolishness:  All these evil things come from within, and defile the man.”

 

Arguing starts in our hearts.

There is power in agreement!

 

CASE AND POINT:  I remember about a year ago hearing an interview with Joel and Victoria Osteen.  Victoria said how Joel had bought the kids a BB gun.  One day he went out to their back yard to shoot the gun off with the kids.  She got mad and told him that one of the kids will get hurt.  He told her no they won’t and that everything will be fine.  As he shut the back door, she stood there in her anger.  She said that at that very moment, God spoke to her.  He said that she spoke negative remarks and opened doors for the devil to do what she said.  Instead, God told her that she should have been in agreement with her husband and believe blessings over her children and husband.

We are commanded to quit arguing and to LOVE ONE ANOTHER in Galatians!

Gal.5:14-15 “For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this;  Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.  But if ye bite and devour one another, take heed that ye be not consumed one of another.”

What in the world are we doing biting and devouring each other?

What are you doing biting and devouring YOUR SPOUSE!!

The word “consume” means to DESTROY COMPLETELY.

If you destroy completely, there is nothing left.

If there is nothing left, it ends in DIVORCE.

A divorce is a FUNERAL that NEVER ENDS!

You need to have a win-win ATTITUDE!

That means you have to care about your spouse and want them to succeed and also want to succeed yourself.

Wanting your spouse to succeed leaves you with a GOOD FEELING about yourself.

You are not the pit bull next door.    You are his GIRLFRIEND!!

WIN!!   WIN!!!

 

 

 

NOTE: Don’t miss tomorrow!  There is a new post daily.