10 Mar

WIN!!   WIN!!


There are seven things that God hates and arguments are one of them.

Prov.6:16-19  “These things the LORD hates…he that sows discord among brethren.”


All married couples say that it is necessary to argue some of the time.

What does God say?  No!!  Phil.2:14 “Do all things without murmurings and DISPUTING:”


In the Greek, the word “disputing” means DEBATE, DISCUSSION, REASONING, or THOUGHT.

In Phillipians we are told not to complain, debate, or try to reason if it is going to cause arguments with our spouse

Results never turn out good when we argue.  Job.6:25 “How forcible are right words!  What does your ARGUING PROVE?”

If our spouse makes us angry, how should we answer them?   Prov.15:1  “A soft answer turns away wrath: but GRIEVOUS words stirs up anger.”


The word grievous in the Hebrew means PAINFUL.

When we get mad, we start saying all kinds of painful things to our spouse.  We don’t mean to, but we start saying whatever the devil tells us to.

What starts arguments?????????????

Mark 7:21 Jesus said: “For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murder, thefts, covetousness,  wickedness, deceit, lasciviousness, an evil eye, blasphemy (cursing), pride, foolishness:  All these evil things come from within, and defile the man.”


Arguing starts in our hearts.

There is power in agreement!


CASE AND POINT:  I remember about a year ago hearing an interview with Joel and Victoria Osteen.  Victoria said how Joel had bought the kids a BB gun.  One day he went out to their back yard to shoot the gun off with the kids.  She got mad and told him that one of the kids will get hurt.  He told her no they won’t and that everything will be fine.  As he shut the back door, she stood there in her anger.  She said that at that very moment, God spoke to her.  He said that she spoke negative remarks and opened doors for the devil to do what she said.  Instead, God told her that she should have been in agreement with her husband and believe blessings over her children and husband.

We are commanded to quit arguing and to LOVE ONE ANOTHER in Galatians!

Gal.5:14-15 “For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this;  Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.  But if ye bite and devour one another, take heed that ye be not consumed one of another.”

What in the world are we doing biting and devouring each other?

What are you doing biting and devouring YOUR SPOUSE!!

The word “consume” means to DESTROY COMPLETELY.

If you destroy completely, there is nothing left.

If there is nothing left, it ends in DIVORCE.

A divorce is a FUNERAL that NEVER ENDS!

You need to have a win-win ATTITUDE!

That means you have to care about your spouse and want them to succeed and also want to succeed yourself.

Wanting your spouse to succeed leaves you with a GOOD FEELING about yourself.

You are not the pit bull next door.    You are his GIRLFRIEND!!

WIN!!   WIN!!!




NOTE: Don’t miss tomorrow!  There is a new post daily.

8 Responses to “WIN!! WIN!!”

  1. marriagecoach1 March 10, 2011 at 6:49 am #

    We have the highest divorce rate on the planet. This is in part due to our “cowboy mentality” to shoot from the lip and try to verbally destroy someone.

    What we need to learn is good conflict resolution skills. It is interesting to note that he that sows discord among the brethern and backbiters and a false witness that spreads lies is equal to murder in God’s eyes from this passage.

    The key to resolving anger issues with your spouse is to listen to their complaint without interrupting them and then instead of getting defensive, ask: “In what way can we resolve this”.

    Blessings on you and yours
    John Wilder

    • nancysalazar March 10, 2011 at 10:59 am #

      Hi John! Thank you so much for your comment. Yes to all of the above. We answer back before hearing the other persons concerns. Unfortunately the children become the victims. I appreciate your Godly wisdom. Thank God for his word!!

  2. Nikki Romero March 10, 2011 at 10:11 am #

    Hi Sister Nancy!!!
    The picture at the top says ALOT!!! Yikes! I too have always heard that it is healthy to argue sometimes in a marriage but that seems to just be an excuse. Thanks for opening my eyes and for these scriptures.

    • nancysalazar March 10, 2011 at 10:37 am #

      Hi Nikki! Thank you so much for your comment. I agree about the picture. Who wants to look like that? It really says it all! Chopper and Michelle do the images for me. I’m always excited to see what they come up with. They are always “spot on” as they say in England. Lol!!

  3. marriagecoach1 March 10, 2011 at 11:11 am #

    Hey Nancy
    I take it that you are familiar with Judith Wallersteins great study on the effects of divorce on children from your comment. What people fail to realize is that the statistics on second and third marriages are far worse than first time marriages; 65 and 75% respectively. It just goes to show that you are better off to resolve your problems with current spouse rather than trading them in on a new model. It is almost always the kids who sabotage the subsequent marriages because they are still grieving and resentful over parents divorce and really want their parents back together.

    Blessings on you and yours
    John Wilder

    • nancysalazar March 10, 2011 at 2:44 pm #

      Hi John! No, I don’t think I have heard of her or read of her. What I have read is Dr. Archibald D. Hart’s book “Helping Children Survive Divorce”. That was very painful to read what they go through. I will look her up and I thank you very much for sharing that source with us. I was aware of the remarriage statistics. I guess that is why there are no specific instuctions in the bible for second marriages. Have a blessed eve. Nancy

  4. vanessaperez2001 March 12, 2011 at 2:07 am #

    Hi Sister Nancy,This Lesson Win Win,Is really what I needed to read it really helped open my eyes to Gods Word about arguing & fighting in my marriage.I hope you know the Impact you are making with myself & many others.Reading this will make me think twice about opening my mouth to my husband when he’s not in a happy mood.I get frustrated a lot because my husband gets grouchy when he’s off of work all he wants to do is go 2 his empty box & eat lol.But now I realized so what he can he’s worked hard all day.Oh yah & also I’m no longer going to tell him how to spend his money if he wants to buy a video game lol let him right? He works so hard for his money.Looks like I need to look at myself more.Thanks again Sister Nancy for pointing out what so many wives miss 🙂 you’re the BEST!

  5. nancysalazar March 12, 2011 at 7:20 am #

    Hi Vanessa! I think all of us wives make the same mistakes at times. It seems like when my husband is excited about getting something or going somewhere, I start thinking,”What about me?” Then Gods precious Holy Spirit tells me, “It’s not about you right now. Rejoice with him. Your his playmate, not a grouchy mom.” We are all learning together. It’s the same devil trying to destroy our marriage. YOU ARE MORE THAN A CONQUEROR!

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