Praying For Your Spouse

19 Feb

Praying For Your Spouse

“She does him good….” Proverbs 31:12a
Bless your husband by praying for him!
The Apostle Paul instructed all Christians to pray for one another (Ephesians 6:18). This
includes wives’ responsibility and privilege to pray for their husbands. Earnest prayer for your
husband is good for him, for you and the spiritual health of your home (Proverbs 31:11-12).
Satan desires to destroy your husband, especially his character and his leadership in your
relationship. Trust God through prayer as you daily surrender your husband and marriage to the
Lord’s wise, loving care.
31 Days of Prayer
Day 1
Pray that your husband will grow spiritually and consider his accountability before the Lord.
Pray that he will guard his heart by developing spiritual disciplines—Bible reading and study,
prayer, meditation, scripture memorization, etc. (2 Peter 3:18; Prov. 4:23)
Day 2
Pray that your husband’s relationship with God and His Word will bear fruit in his life. Pray that
he will be a man of wisdom and understanding, fearing the Lord. (Prov. 3:7, 9:10; Ps. 112:1)
Day 3
Pray that your husband will be humble and quick to agree with God about his sin. Pray that his
heart will be tender toward the voice of the Lord. (Ps. 51:2-4; Micah 6:8)
Day 4
Pray that your husband will grow in leadership skills in your relationship—protecting and
providing for you. Pray that he will lead you wisely and love you sacrificially, so that God will
be glorified in your marriage. (Eph. 5:25-29; Col. 3:19)
Day 5
Pray that your husband will be faithful to his wedding vows. Pray that he will have a desire to
cultivate your relationship as a sign of his loyalty and commitment to you, and as a picture of
Christ’s love for the Church. (Prov. 20:6; Gen. 2:24)
Day 6
Pray that your husband will love righteousness and hate wickedness, especially the evils of the
culture. Pray that he will recognize and avoid wickedness in his own life, and if necessary, take a
clear, strong stand against evil. (Prov. 27:12; John 17:15; 1 Cor. 10:12-13)
2
Day 7
Pray that your husband will safeguard his heart against inappropriate relationships with the
opposite sex. Pray that his heart will be pure and undivided in his commitment to you. (Prov.
6:23-24, 26; Rom. 13:14)
Day 8
Pray that your husband will work hard to provide for your family, to the best of his ability. Pray
that the character qualities necessary for a successful career and ministry will be a growing part
of his character – persistence, decisiveness, strength, an analytical mind, organizational skills,
positive relationships with people, determination, etc. (Rom. 12:11; 1 Cor. 15:58)
Day 9
Pray that your husband handle finances wisely, will have discernment concerning budgeting and
investments, and will be a good steward of his money in regard to giving to the Lord’s work.
Pray that money will not become a source of discord in your family. (Prov. 23:4-5; Rom. 12:13;
Heb. 13:5)
Day 10
Pray that your husband will cultivate strong integrity, and not compromise his convictions. Pray
that his testimony will be genuine, that he will be honest in his business dealings, and will never
do anything that he needs to hide from others. (Prov. 20:7; 1 Tim. 1:5, 3:7; Eph. 6:10-12)
Day 11
Pray that your husband will have a humble, teachable spirit and a servant’s heart before the Lord.
Pray that he will listen to God and desire to do His will. (Prov. 15:33; Eph. 6:6)
Day 12
Pray that your husband will yield his sexual drive to the Lord and practice self control. Pray that
your sexual intimacy together will be fresh, positive, and a reflection of selfless love. (Prov.
5:15, 18; 1 Cor. 7:3; Song of Solomon 7:10)
Day 13
Pray that your husband use practical skills to build your family and make wise decisions for your
welfare. Pray that he will serve unselfishly. (Gal. 5:13; Phil. 2:3-4)
Day 14
Pray that your husband will speak words that build you and your family, and reflect a heart of
love. Pray that he will not use filthy language. (Prov. 18:21; Eph. 4:29)
Day 15
Pray that your husband will choose his friends wisely. Pray that God will bring him men who
will encourage his accountability before God, and will not lead him into sin. (Prov. 13:20; Prov.
27:17)
3
Day 16
Pray that your husband will choose healthy, God-honoring activities. Pray that he will not live in
bondage to any questionable habits or hobbies, but that he will experience freedom in holiness as
he yields to the Spirit’s control. (1 Cor. 6:12, 10:31; 2 Tim. 2:4)
Day 17
Pray that your husband will enjoy his manliness as he patterns his life after Christ and strong
men in the faith. Pray for his physical, emotional, mental, social and spiritual strength. (Eph.
3:16; 1 Peter 2:21; 1 Cor. 10:11)
Day 18
Pray that your husband will have an eternal perspective—living in light of eternity. Pray that he
will reject materialism and temporal values and put God first in his life. (Matt. 6:33; Deut. 6:5;
Eph. 5:16; Ps. 90:12)
Day 19
Pray that your husband will be patient and a man of peace. Pray that he will not give in to anger,
but will allow the Holy Spirit to control his responses. (Rom. 14:19; Ps. 34:14)
Day 20
Pray that your husband will yield his mind and thoughts to the Lord. Pray that he will not
entertain immoral or impure thoughts, and that he will resist the temptation to indulge in
pornography. (Prov. 27:12; 2 Cor. 10:5)
Day 21
Pray that your husband will learn how to relax in the Lord and, in his greatest times of stress,
find joy and peace in his relationship with God. Pray that he will submit his schedule to the Lord.
(Neh. 8:10; Prov. 17:22; Ps. 16:11)
Day 22
Pray that your husband will practice forgiveness in your relationship and with others. Pray that
he will recognize any roots of bitterness, and yield any resentment and unforgiving attitudes to
the Lord. (Eph. 4:32; Heb. 12:15)
Day 23
Pray that your husband will be a good father—disciplining his children wisely and loving them
unconditionally. If he is not a father, pray that he will find a young man to mentor in the things
of the Lord. (Eph. 6:4; Col. 3:21; 2 Tim. 2:1-2)
Day 24
Pray that your husband will have a balanced life—that he will balance work and play. Pray that
he will fear God, but also gain favor with people he knows at work and church. (Luke 2:52;
Prov. 13:15)
4
Day 25
Pray that your husband will be courageous in his stand against evil and injustice, and that he will
stand for the truth. Pray that he will protect you and your family from Satan’s attacks. (Ps.
31:24; Eph. 6:13; Ps. 27:14)
Day 26
Pray that your husband will discover and live his God-given purpose. Pray that he will offer all
his dreams to the Lord, and pursue only those goals that will bring God glory and count for
eternity. (Jer. 29:11; 1 Cor. 10:31)
Day 27
Pray that your husband will understand the importance of taking care of his body—the temple of
the Holy Spirit—for the glory of God. Pray that he will practice self-control by making wise
food choices, and get sufficient exercise to stay healthy. (Rom. 12:1-2; 1 Cor. 6:19-20, 9:27)
Day 28
Pray that your husband will be a man of prayer. Pray that he will seek and pursue God in
purposeful quiet times. (1 Thess. 5:17; Luke 22:46; James 5:16)
Day 29
Pray that your husband will surrender his time and talents to the Lord. Pray that his spiritual gifts
will be manifest in his career, at church, and in your home. (Eph. 5:15-16; 1 Cor. 12:4, 7)
Day 30
Pray that your husband will serve God and others with pure motives. Pray that he will obey the
Lord from his heart, and glorify Him in everything. (1 Cor. 10:13; John 7:17-18; Col. 3:23-24)
Day 31
Pray that your husband will recognize the lies of the Enemy in his life. Pray that his attitudes and
actions will be guided by the truth as he brings his thoughts into captivity to the Word of God.
(John 8:44; 2 Cor. 10:4-5)

Thanks Grace Watson for this article you discovered.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

Q&A – Question and Answer Saturday

18 Feb

Q&A – Question and Answer Saturday

Welcome aboard!  Every Saturday will be reserved for answering marriage questions.  Before I start, I want to thank you so much for being a part of  MARRIAGE MATTERS.  I would like to give you a peek into my heart and thoughts.

Divorce is traumatizing to a child and they are impacted for the rest of their life.  Gods design is for a child to be raised by adoring parents.  God can fill the void in a child’s life, but they are still left with scars.

What I hope to accomplish, with God leading the way, is to give spouses insight to the devils devices. More importantly is for us to partner with the Holy Spirit and receive help from on high. Also, to keep children from suffering the struggles of a violent divorce.

Inspire others to subscribe to this blog at no charge and God will bless you hundredfold because there is no limit to how far Gods word can reach.  HELPING MARRIAGES TO LAST A LIFETIME!!

Question and answers

Question #1  How do you build a relationship when you are states away?

Answer #1:  I am assuming that you are married.  If you are not married, I would not advise it.  It’s hard to really get to know the person.  Everyone is palatable in small doses.  It’s during the long haul that issues start to appear.  If you are married, there are a lot of things you can and cannot do.  Today through social networking, you can keep communication going like never before.  Be on guard of the conversation.  Wives have a tendency to complain.  Before you talk to him, have an agenda of what you will discuss.  Make sure it is things he will enjoy.  Tell him the cute things his children are doing, not about the crummy co-worker you cannot stand.  Tell him about something interesting on the news, not about what broke in the house and how he needs to make several repairs as soon as he gets back.  Tell him a crazy joke you heard today.  Make him laugh!  Make him feel like he can’t wait till he talks to you again.  Give your list of complaints and your “honey do list” to your pet dog.

Question #2  What are the downsides in marrying someone younger than you? 

Answer #2  There aren’t any if you love God and partner with the Holy Spirit to have a Godly marriage and raise godly children.  That should keep any couple busy for a lifetime.  We have found through the years that if the husband is younger by 5 years of more, many times the wife has to deal with jealousy.  It isn’t the husbands problem, it’s the wifes.  She is the one who battles with her own thoughts.  The husband is usually completely pleased with her except for the insane jealousy.  When the husband is older by 10 years or more, the wife once again, has a tendency to struggle with it.  She expects a lot from him and seems to think his age is the reason for his actions.  Usually it is her who is not accepting him for who he is.  She becomes demanding and becomes frustrated.  This is what we have observed through the years of pastoring.  Since woman are supposed to out live men by approximately 10 years, they say it is fine for a woman to marry a man ten years younger than her.

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow!!!    You will receive a tool a spouse cannot do without!!

You Play, You Pay!!

17 Feb

You Play, You Pay!!

In the United States, approximately two and a half million people with more than one million children struggled through a heart wrenching divorce this last year.

God HATES divorce, and we will research the wisdom of Gods word and find out why.

Malachi 2:16a “For the LORD God of Israel says that He hates divorce…” (In Hebrew, the pronunciation is sane. This word was used to describe how God felt about His enemy or foe.)

As a child I was obsessed with Monopoly the money game. The day my dad left home when I was thirteen, life was never the same for our family ever again. Divorce wasn’t a game for us because there were no WINNERS.

Here is a list from professionals on advice of what to do when considering a divorce. Keep in mind that this is before the other spouse even knows what is about to happen to them. Also, this is not godly counsel. Notice how it is all about MONEY.

1. Consult and hire a lawyer.

2. Know your spouses income.

3. Assess what you can earn.

4. Learn about family’s financial holdings.

5. Assess your family’s debt.

6. Make photocopies of all family financial records.

7. Take stock of your family’s valuables.

8. Learn how much it costs to run a household.

9. Determine where you will live.

10. Start saving money.

11. Build up your own credit.

12. Withdraw your money from the bank.

13. Consider canceling charge cards.

14. Take property that belongs to you and safeguard it.

15. Don’t make any unnecessary major purchases.

This one particular book on surviving divorce had another 361 pages concerning financial problems after the spouse knows about the intentions of divorce.

The end of the verse in Malachi 2:16 says, “…For it covers ones garments with violence.”

If I saw my spouse running around opening and closing bank accounts, secretly making photocopies, opening and closing credit cards, stocking up family valuables, and googling for divorce lawyers, I’d be “hot under the collar” to say the least.

Tomorrow we will continue our blog with garments of violence.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

Do people say you are “Hot or Cold”?

16 Feb

Do people say you are “Hot or Cold”?

If you are not  hot or cold, then you are mediocre.

Mediocre is lacking in exceptional quality or ability.

Mediocrity is a person of second-rate ability or value.

If we are talking about weather, mediocrity is sublime.  Los Angeles, California is the place to be.  You are within an hour from sunny beaches, and within an hour to snowy mountains.  But we are not talking about weather!!!!

We are talking about your MARRIAGE.

You must not be lukewarm about your marriage or Gods judgment will spew you out of his mouth.

Rev.3:15-16 To the church in Laodicea,

vs.15-16 “…I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot.  I wish you were either one or the other!  So, because you are lukewarm–neither hot nor cold–I am about to  SPIT  you out of my mouth…you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked.”

Christ severely warns the church of judgment against lukewarmness.  He is a God of excellence and desires us to be passionate about our marriage.

Are we sure that he is also talking about our marriages?

YES!!   Because in Mal.2:11 He calls marriage His …”holy institute”…. We don’t ever mess with anything that is holy because it means that it is sacred.  Set apart.

A mediocre marriage leads to divorce and God “hates divorce”  Mal.2:16.

It’s a funeral that never ends!

NOTE:   Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

ROMANCING YOUR SPOUSE

15 Feb

couple looking at each other eye to eye

ROMANCING YOUR SPOUSE

Do you get so caught up with the issues of the day that you don’t even have time for your husband?

You need to make “turning towards” your spouse a priority.

In order to keep your romance alive, let your spouse know that you value him.

 Not once a year, but try to make it a point everyday.

Even if it is as small as thanking him for helping you with something you asked him to do.

Even if you are shopping, it is a time that romance can grow because you are doing it together.

The point is that you are doing something together and “face-to-face.”

Think of words of encouragement to tell your spouse.

If you know your spouse is having a bad day, leave him a loving voicemail.

If there is a place he likes to go, make the suggestion that you go after work together for a date.

What ever you choose to do together, you are making a choice to “turn towards” each other rather than turn away.

Remember, that you are your spouses “companion.”

Mal.2:14  “…she is your companion and your wife by covenant.”

This is something that wives forget to do which is to “have fun” with their spouse.

It is sad to see in a marriage, when one partner is always trying to get the attention of their spouse just to get affection, support, or humor.

When their spouse does not “turn towards” them, then they usually turn away from the one they were trying to get attention from.

I heard once that it is better to find a babysitter for your spouse, than your spouse find a sitter for himself.

Wake up, girls!!

Turn face-to-face with your spouse!

You both need romance, and emotional connection in your marriage.

Do you read together?

Are you silent or do you talk over meals?

God made Eve for Adam in order to have someone for him to be emotionally engaged with.

Face-to-face involvement is necessary in order to stay together and in order to avoid departure of one of the spouses.

The difference in the outcome of your marriage is your “emotional bank account.”

It is like putting money in the bank every time you take the initiative to “turn towards” each other.

You need a build up in your “emotional savings” so when conflict or stress hits your marriage, you will make allowances for a negative action from your spouse.

The key to a long-lasting romance is to “turn toward” each other in little ways every day.

Face-to-face!!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

WHAT’S AN EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT SPOUSE?

14 Feb

brain-cartoon

WHAT’S AN EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT SPOUSE?

If you are an emotionally intelligent wife, you will be intimately familiar to your spouse’s world.

Mal.2:14 “…she is your companion, and the wife of your covenant.”

He called this familiarity to your spouse’s world “love mapping.”

CASE AND POINT:  It seems like every time I turn on my computer, there is an “update” that needs to take place.  If I don’t update my computer, there is a chance of me losing information that I need.

In the same way, if you don’t update the important information about your spouse, you can loose touch and your relationship can drift to the point that you wake up one day and don’t know each other.

John M. Gottman Ph.D, in his book, “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” defines love mapping as the part of the brain that stores all the relevant information about your partner’s life.

Do you know your spouses goals in life?

Do you know your spouses worries?

Do you know your spouses hopes?

If you don’t really know someone, you can’t really love them.

The biblical term for sexual love is “to know”.

Having a baby is one life event, or a job shift is a life event, or an illness; these events change a “love map.”

The more you know and understand your spouse, the easier it is to keep connected as life swirls around you.

Getting to know your spouse better is a lifelong process.

LOVE MAP QUESTIONNAIRE

By John M. Gottman, Ph.D.

Answer TRUE or FALSE to the following statement.

  1. I can name my partners best friends.
  2. I can tell you what stresses my partner is currently facing.
  3. I know the names of some of the people who have been irritating my husband lately.
  4. I can tell you some of my partner’s life dreams.
  5. I am very familiar with my partner’s religious beliefs and ideas.
  6. I can tell you about my partner’s basic philosophy of life.
  7. I can list the relatives my partner likes the least.
  8. I know my partner’s favorite music.
  9. I can list my partner’s three favorite movies.
  10. My spouse is familiar with my current stresses.
  11. I know the three most special times in my partner’s life.
  12. I can tell you the most stressful thing that happened to mypartner as a child.
  13. I can list my partner’s major aspirations and hopes in life.
  14. I know my partner’s major current worries.
  15. My spouse knows who my friends are.
  16. I know what my partner would want to do if he or she suddenly won the lottery.
  17. I can tell you in detail my first impressions of my partner.
  18. Periodically I ask my partner about his world right now.
  19. I feel that my partner knows me pretty well.
  20. My spouse is familiar with my hopes and aspirations.

Give yourself one point for each TRUE answer.

10 or above:  This is an area of strength for your marriage.  Try not to take for granted this knowledge and understanding of each other.  If you continue to keep in touch, you should be able to handle problems that arise.

Below 10:  Your marriage could stand some improvement in this area.  Take time to learn more about your spouse now, your relationship will grow stronger.

I heard once that if you really want to find things out about your husband, have a BarBQue with the men from his work and listen to their conversation.

I guess the guys at work know more about him than you do if you haven’t taken the time to learn.

It is time for a daily update!

Start today!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed

MY HUSBAND ISN’T HELPING ME!

13 Feb

woman_spring_cleaning1

MY HUSBAND ISN’T HELPING ME!

Have you ever complained to God about what your husband wasn’t doing?

Of course you have?

There were times that I felt like I was doing every thing and thought that my husband should be working to help me.

This following biblical story explains how Jesus feels about those times of service.

Jesus was in the home of two sisters: Mary who was listening at Jesus’ feet and Martha who was cumbered about serving.

The word “cumbered” in the Greek means, draw away, distract; to be driven about mentally.

Luke 10:41-42 “And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.”

What was Martha being distracted from?

The “word”.  Jesus and the “word” are one.

She was distracted with too much serving and forgot Jesus.

Martha OVERRODE her bonding with Christ, by her service to Christ.

When you are on an “emotional rollercoaster”,  it separates you from Jesus and you are now no good to your marriage.

Luke 21:34 says, our hearts are overcharged with “…cares of this life...”

You need to humble yourself by casting your cares on Jesus instead of complaining about what your spouse is or isn’t doing.

Martha’s #1 purpose at that time was to make Jesus welcomed.  Instead, she snaps and complains to Jesus saying, “Don’t you care?”

Martha thought that you express your love for God through service.

Mary’s secret is that she knew her love for God could only be done through devotion.

Jesus is telling Martha that she must first be ministered to by her Savior, before she can effectively minister for her Savior.

You cannot be the Godly spouse that you want to be unless you spend TIME at the feet of Jesus.

Are you too busy serving Him that you can’t find time to love Him and listen to Him?

Charles Wesley said, “…Choose the better part; Serve with careful Martha’s hands and loving Mary’s heart.”

You can be radically changed if you listen to Jesus words, “…one thing is needful.”

Jesus pointed out that Mary’s choice to take the “good part” would not be taken from her.

It is good to be hooked up to Gods word—THAT IS YOUR LIFELINE!

When you choose to do what Mary did, you can live the good life.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.