SATURDAY (QUESTION & ANSWER)

23 Feb

SATURDAY (QUESTION & ANSWER)

Question #1.   What are some ways to encourage your husband?

Answer #1  I am not sure if you mean spiritually or as a husband.  The best thing that you can do is to pray for him.  On Sunday Feb.20th, we have an article that is on 31 days of how to pray for your husband.  It’s great cause it has a prayer for each day of the month.  I will give you five other verses of what the bible says we can do.

Gentle and quiet spirit:  It’s best not to say anything and just be quiet.  1Pet.3:1-5

Trust:  Trust God that he will do the work in your spouse.  Prov.31:11

Goodness:  Be good to him and show him love.  Prov.31:12

Praise:  Don’t embarrass him and brag about him.  Prov.31:23

Kindness and wisdom:  Be kind and use wisdom  Prov.31:26

 

Question #2.  How do you stay in love with your husband, even when times are hard?

Answer #2  This is a question that most women ask.  First you need to read the love chapter which is 1Cor.13.  Read it till you have it in your heart.

Remember that as you draw closer to God and the more you fall in love with him, it will cause you to fall in love with your spouse even more.  This is what you need to concentrate on.

Put the Holy Spirit in the middle of your heart and your marriage.  This will cause you not to hurt the Holy Spirit and make you want to act in a loving way.  I try to act in a way that is pleasing to God, not in a manner to get my way.

ASSIGNMENT:  I tell the wives in my marriage class to think of one thing their husbands do that really makes them mad.  Just one thing.  Wives usually tell me they have one hundred things.  Don’t tell anyone what it is that gets you the madest.  Don’t even tell your husband.  Take that thing and give it to God.  Every time he does it, give it to God.  It won’t be easy but do it.  Just keep your mouth closed, smile and trust God.

You will be shocked how God will intervene on your behalf.  It may take a while but make a committment to trust God and be patient.

Usually the things our husbands do over and over again are what causes a wife to get drained from her love. Be consistent and wait for your miracle.

The things that would upset me for days, have zero effect on me now.

It feels so good to know that there is really nothing that can get me mad anymore.

I can be in complete control but it’s my choice to obey my emotions or allow the Holy Spirit to get the glory.

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow.  This is one of the best marriage articles I have read.

YOUR HUSBANDS TOP THREE NEEDS:

22 Feb

YOUR HUSBANDS TOP THREE NEEDS:

RESPECT

In Dr. Kevin Leman’s book, he asked wives what they thought was the number one need in a mans life and got an array of interesting answers.

They were answers like food, remote control and sex.

Fortunately the top three needs have everything to do with his wife

This gives the wife the opportunity every day to meet these needs, but DO WE?

The first:   RESPECT

In Eph.5:33, it is the marriage treatise and one of the best scriptures on marriage.

Eph.5:33 “…let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

In the Greek, the word is pronounced fob-eh’-o.  It means to be in awe, reverence or to fear.

The important thing about this verse is that the wife and husband have to do it UNCONDITIONALLY.

No matter what the other partner does, they have to commit themselves to God by doing their part.

It can only work if it is unconditional.

This is long-term so we need to realize it is a marriage marathon.

When your husband isn’t respected, he will never be convinced that you love him.

He feels unloved !!

If he feels disrespected, he will go to other avenues to find respect.

He may become very quiet, maybe bury himself in his work, or find reasons to not come home.

There will no longer be any reason to build a relationship.

IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT??

I DON’T THINK SO!

Here are some suggestions:

1.  SMILE at him.

2.  SAY HELLO when he comes home.

3.  Don’t start COMPLAINING about things.

4.  Let him sit on his favorite chair and go into his NOTHING BOX.

5.  Don’t give him a LOOK when he has said or done something wrong.

6.  Don’t DISRESPECT his family.  He loves them.

7.  Don’t YELL at him.

8.  Let him SPEND money.  He’s not in kindergarten and he worked for it.

9.  Don’t BELITTLE him for the things he enjoys.

10. Don’t criticize him.

11. Did I leave anything out?

R  E  S  P  E  C  T    H  I  M !!   God gave you to him for support.

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow!  You will find out what your husbands second need is.

 I’VE GOT TWO LOVERS

21 Feb

  I’VE GOT TWO LOVERS

And you do have two lovers also.

Yes you do and I will tell you exactly who they are:  The flesh and the spirit.

They do not like each other and they don’t get along.

Gal.5:17 “For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish.”

Every day and all through the day, our soul has a choice to obey what the spirit of God is telling us or obey what our flesh wants us to do.

This is exactly how and why fights and arguments start in marriages.

That is why it says in Lev.18:18 and repeats it in Gal.5:14 “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

If you don’t, you kill something inside your spouse. It hurts hours, days and years after it has been said.

And wives don’t exclude yourself by saying that men are not sensitive and nothing hurts them.  DON’T YOU DARE!!

We are to never assume what our husbands are thinking.

My husband told me once to never tell someone what he is thinking.

The reason is that I  don’t know what he is thinking.  I can only know what he is saying.  It is so UNFAIR to do that.

When I am talking with a wife and she starts telling me what her husband is thinking, I stop her.  Then I have her repeat exactly what he has said.

Many times it is very hard for the wife to repeat what he has said because the DUDE didn’t say anything wrong.  The wife is just making assumptions of what he is thinking

Lets look at our FIRST LOVER.  Gal.5:19 “Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like…those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.”

We like this lover. Especially “…hatred, contentions, jealousies, outburst of wrath, selfish ambitions…”

No??? Am I wrong?  Let’s ask our spouse.  Okay?!?

Let’s now look at our OTHER LOVER.  Gal.5:22 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control…”

No assignment today, but it would be interesting if we gave a list of our two lovers and ask our spouse which one we are most like.  LOL!!

I bet our spouse can tell which lover has control of our life.

Gal.5:15 “But if you bite and devour one another, beware lest you be consumed by one another!”

OH WOW! There is a test. Look for bite marks!  [on your spouse]

Don’t get mad at me, I didn’t write that verse.  Silly you!

The Apostle Paul knows how we feel.  Read Romans 7:15-25.

He says what I want to do, I don’t do.  Then what I don’t want to do, I end up doing.

In Romans 7:24, Paul calls himself “wretched”. That word in Greek means “miserable”.

He is saying, I did it my way.  I did what I wanted to do and I’M MISERABLE!!

Wives have you ever had it out with your hubby and you won or didn’t win but did what you wanted to do anyway?

How did you feel girlfriend?  Huh, did it feel good??

May I answer that?  No, you didn”t feel good.  You felt miserable because you couldn’t even enjoy yourself.

If you allow the Holy Spirit to help you put your desires aside, you will keep from FOLLOWING THE FLESH.

Romans 8:13 “For if you live according to the …Spirit, you put to death the deeds of the body…”

You must wage war by the power of the Spirit!

Your spouse loves the OTHER LOVER best.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

HIT THE ROAD JACK

20 Feb

HIT THE ROAD JACK

AND DON’T COME BACK NO MORE!   Okay.  I got it out of my system.

Who am I talking to??????   Not my Husband!!   The devil.

Malachi 2:11b “For Judah has profaned the Lord’s holy institution which He loves…”

This is a fabulous scripture that gives us loads of insight.  God loves your marriage.

He is saying that your marriage is His.  It belongs to Him.  It is his holy institution!

The word “holiness” in Hebrew is qodesh. This means that it is a consecrated, dedicated, sacred place.

Anything that is “holy” is set apart.

In God’s word we see that anything that is holy, is under attack.

That is why wives must be watchmen.  We SUPER CHARGE our man!

Case & Point:  Every time we get a new car, my husband treats it like a “sacred cow”.  Lol!! (I’m exaggerating)  We haven’t got a brand new car in decades.  They are always 1 to 2 years old.  He is gifted in buying cars.  They are always in perfect condition with low miles.  They are always priced one to two years cheaper.  Nevertheless he treats it like it just got off the assembly line.  You are afraid to burp in his  car.  Unfortunately I always initiate the car by banging the car next to us with the door while getting out.  I don’t even want to look his way after doing that .  I know it just isn’t the time for me to be searching for an endearing look from him.

How much more does God care for us and each member of our family that make up this “holy institution”.

God watches it with intense love and desires to help us through each issue if we only ask Him.

Proverbs 19:14 :Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers, but prudent wife is from the Lord.”

Here we see two blessings for a man:  An inheritance of riches and a prudent wife.

In Hebrew, the word “Prudent” is sakal.  It means to be intelligent, skillful and full of wisdom.

If you walk  in the spirit, as God intended you to, you will have a lot to bring into your marriage.

The devil lies to wives and tells them that all they are good for is not much.

He tells us that we are used and totally unappreciated.  No one listens to us.  Yes, and he always tells us that the grass is greener on the other side.  If you want green grass just start watering your side!

Your husband needs your INTELLIGENCE, SKILL  and WISDOM to make him complete.

The INTELLIGENCE of maintaining a household, finances and an array of various related duties.

The SKILL of meeting the needs of a husband and children, like child-bearing and breast-feeding.  Also, handling a full-time job or church ministry.

The WISDOM to utilize your knowledge and experience.

You, your spouse and your children are a holy institute.  God is committed to making your family a complete success.

The devil is committed to “..KILL, STEAL and DESTROY…” your marriage.

God has made you “…MORE THAN A CONQUEROR…”

Are you committed to making your spouse a success?

Tell the devil to HIT THE ROAD!!

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Why in the World Did I Marry My Spouse?

19 Feb

Why in the World Did I Marry My Spouse?

When Problems come into a marriage, the first thing that happens is that we get attacked in our mind. The evil one tells us that we are better off divorced. Then the BIG QUESTION comes. Why did I marry my spouse?

The Answer is clear in Gods word.

Mal. 2:15 “But did He not make them one, having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring.Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let not deal treacherously with the wife of his youth.”

The word “seek” in Hebrew is baqash.  The primitive root word is to search.  It implies begging.  This is killing me as I am typing it.  God is begging us to raise our kids Godly?

God makes man and woman one so they will marry and raise godly children.

Sad to say, with 50% of marriages ending in divorce, the children are thrown into a traumatic situation.

In the book “Helping children survive divorce” by Dr. Archibald D. Hart, it states that children of divorced Christian parents are at greater risk than others.

They feel like why didn’t God make my mom and dad love each other?  The child could easily become disillusioned with Christianity.

This is a list of a few losses that children face:

1. Loss of home.

2. Loss of my neighborhood friends.

3. Loss of convenient transportation.

4. Dramatic reduction in our standard of living.

5. Loss of family outings together.

Divorce makes enemies of those who once declared undying love for one another. It does damage to children.

Here are some of the reasons why divorce is emotionally damaging to children:

1. Fear and anxiety

2. Abandonment and rejection

3. Aloneness and sadness

4. Frustration and anger

5. Rejection and resentment, and

6. Reestablishment of trust

Before we think it is all about us and forget if we divorce, our child will be another statistic.  So turn to Gods word for counsel.

Eph. 5:33 “Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

In the book called “Love and Respect”, the author calls this the crazy cycle. That is because neither partner will do their part till the other one does. Then they just go around and around on the “crazy cycle”.

It only takes one person to do their part and get off the “crazy cycle”.

You married him to show him love and respect in front of your children and the children of others.

You are to be a living epistle to your children and raise them godly.

OH!   Yes!!   ENJOY THE JOURNEY!!

In Search for my “Friendly Friend”

18 Feb

girl with rose

In Search for my “Friendly Friend”

It is said that if you ask a woman to describe what she wants in a husband, she will describe her best friend.

Well I’m glad my husband wasn’t looking for a wife that was like his best friend cause a “Tarzan” I am not.

Malichi 2:14b “”…She is your companion and your wife by covenant…”

The dictionary shows the pan in the middle of the word companion. Pan is the word for bread. Bread is a comfort food. The dictionary has the definition for companion as one who accompanies another.

The Hebrew root word for companion implies intimate partner; accomplice.

THIS EXCITES ME!!!

I’ll tell you why. It is because God made something in husbands that will make them want to be with their wife. And vice versa. He made something in wives that makes them want to be around their hubbies.

YeeHaa! Is that the way you spell it? I don’t know!?! In Los Angeles they say, “What it is”. I think?

I have heard wives tell me for over 40 years, “I don’t know what my husband wants?”

Okay, listen up girls. I’ll tell you!

He wants his GIRLFRIEND back! The one he married. He wants his FRIENDLY FRIEND. He wants his CHEERLEADER!

Has anyone seen her??? Well he hasn’t either for a long time. POOR GUY!

You know that game “‘Where in the world is Waldo? Well where in the world is ____________________.

Maybe she is watching the Food Network Channel. No? Maybe she is texting her entourage instead of paying attention to her husband. No? Maybe she is Shopping. No? Maybe she is busy with the children. No?

Right now I have your attention. You are saying all sorts like:

“I work hard and I am tired when I get home.”

“How do I know what he wants to do? He doesn’t even talk to me.”

“I have kids and they have needs. What am I suppose to do?”

“He has his own hobbies and friends and could care less what I do!”

“I’ll be honest, he is just boring. I do my thing and he does his.”

“I tried. He doesn’t want to be with me.”

“I have other things that are more inspiring than to spend time with him.”

“He is fine just the way he is. Don’t rock the boat.”

“Oh! All of the above.”

Ok girls, I’ll mind my own business (MYOB). I have an assignment for you wives that are any of the above. It’s easy. All you need is a black marker. Are you ready? This is easy!! Start marking out of your bible all the verses that call you a companion or a helpmeet. Don’t forget Proverbs 31. The virtuous woman whose husband is known in the gates, his heart safely trusts in her, he has no lack of gain, she does him good and not evil all the days of her life, and he praises her because of all her thoughtfulness. Don’t forget Song of Solomon, etc.

Now for the wives that don’t have a black marker in their hand. Ask him what he wants to do. Sit and watch football with him. Go see those movies where everything blows up. Go visit your in-laws with him. Go to a game with him. Learn about his hobby or sport. Go sit with him in the garage while he exercises. Seem interested and ask him questions about what he likes. Smile at him. Give him gifts (small and not expensive). Go for a walk with him. Tell him you love him. Listen to him. Listen to him. Listen to him.

Read this once: If you don’t find a babysitter for your children, your husband will find a babysitter for him.

Where in the world did his GIRLFRIEND go? God expects you to be his CHEERLEADER, his FRIENDLY FRIEND!

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Praying For Your Spouse

17 Feb

Praying For Your Spouse

“She does him good….” Proverbs 31:12a
Bless your husband by praying for him!
The Apostle Paul instructed all Christians to pray for one another (Ephesians 6:18).

This includes wives’ responsibility and privilege to pray for their husbands.

Earnest prayer for your husband is good for him, for you and the spiritual health of your home (Proverbs 31:11-12).
Satan desires to destroy your husband, especially his character and his leadership in your
relationship.

Trust God through prayer as you daily surrender your husband and marriage to the
Lord’s wise, loving care.

31 Days of Prayer

Day 1
Pray that your husband will grow spiritually and consider his accountability before the Lord.
Pray that he will guard his heart by developing spiritual disciplines—Bible reading and study,
prayer, meditation, scripture memorization, etc. (2 Peter 3:18; Prov. 4:23)

Day 2
Pray that your husband’s relationship with God and His Word will bear fruit in his life. Pray that
he will be a man of wisdom and understanding, fearing the Lord. (Prov. 3:7, 9:10; Ps. 112:1)

Day 3
Pray that your husband will be humble and quick to agree with God about his sin. Pray that his
heart will be tender toward the voice of the Lord. (Ps. 51:2-4; Micah 6:8)

Day 4
Pray that your husband will grow in leadership skills in your relationship—protecting and
providing for you. Pray that he will lead you wisely and love you sacrificially, so that God will
be glorified in your marriage. (Eph. 5:25-29; Col. 3:19)

Day 5
Pray that your husband will be faithful to his wedding vows. Pray that he will have a desire to
cultivate your relationship as a sign of his loyalty and commitment to you, and as a picture of
Christ’s love for the Church. (Prov. 20:6; Gen. 2:24)

Day 6
Pray that your husband will love righteousness and hate wickedness, especially the evils of the
culture. Pray that he will recognize and avoid wickedness in his own life, and if necessary, take a
clear, strong stand against evil. (Prov. 27:12; John 17:15; 1 Cor. 10:12-13)
2

Day 7
Pray that your husband will safeguard his heart against inappropriate relationships with the
opposite sex. Pray that his heart will be pure and undivided in his commitment to you. (Prov.
6:23-24, 26; Rom. 13:14)

Day 8
Pray that your husband will work hard to provide for your family, to the best of his ability. Pray
that the character qualities necessary for a successful career and ministry will be a growing part
of his character – persistence, decisiveness, strength, an analytical mind, organizational skills,
positive relationships with people, determination, etc. (Rom. 12:11; 1 Cor. 15:58)

Day 9
Pray that your husband handle finances wisely, will have discernment concerning budgeting and
investments, and will be a good steward of his money in regard to giving to the Lord’s work.
Pray that money will not become a source of discord in your family. (Prov. 23:4-5; Rom. 12:13;
Heb. 13:5)

Day 10
Pray that your husband will cultivate strong integrity, and not compromise his convictions. Pray
that his testimony will be genuine, that he will be honest in his business dealings, and will never
do anything that he needs to hide from others. (Prov. 20:7; 1 Tim. 1:5, 3:7; Eph. 6:10-12)

Day 11
Pray that your husband will have a humble, teachable spirit and a servant’s heart before the Lord.
Pray that he will listen to God and desire to do His will. (Prov. 15:33; Eph. 6:6)

Day 12
Pray that your husband will yield his sexual drive to the Lord and practice self control. Pray that
your sexual intimacy together will be fresh, positive, and a reflection of selfless love. (Prov.
5:15, 18; 1 Cor. 7:3; Song of Solomon 7:10)

Day 13
Pray that your husband use practical skills to build your family and make wise decisions for your
welfare. Pray that he will serve unselfishly. (Gal. 5:13; Phil. 2:3-4)

Day 14
Pray that your husband will speak words that build you and your family, and reflect a heart of
love. Pray that he will not use filthy language. (Prov. 18:21; Eph. 4:29)

Day 15
Pray that your husband will choose his friends wisely. Pray that God will bring him men who
will encourage his accountability before God, and will not lead him into sin. (Prov. 13:20; Prov.
27:17)
3
Day 16

Pray that your husband will choose healthy, God-honoring activities. Pray that he will not live in
bondage to any questionable habits or hobbies, but that he will experience freedom in holiness as
he yields to the Spirit’s control. (1 Cor. 6:12, 10:31; 2 Tim. 2:4)

Day 17
Pray that your husband will enjoy his manliness as he patterns his life after Christ and strong
men in the faith. Pray for his physical, emotional, mental, social and spiritual strength. (Eph.
3:16; 1 Peter 2:21; 1 Cor. 10:11)

Day 18
Pray that your husband will have an eternal perspective—living in light of eternity. Pray that he
will reject materialism and temporal values and put God first in his life. (Matt. 6:33; Deut. 6:5;
Eph. 5:16; Ps. 90:12)

Day 19
Pray that your husband will be patient and a man of peace. Pray that he will not give in to anger,
but will allow the Holy Spirit to control his responses. (Rom. 14:19; Ps. 34:14)

Day 20
Pray that your husband will yield his mind and thoughts to the Lord. Pray that he will not
entertain immoral or impure thoughts, and that he will resist the temptation to indulge in
pornography. (Prov. 27:12; 2 Cor. 10:5)

Day 21
Pray that your husband will learn how to relax in the Lord and, in his greatest times of stress,
find joy and peace in his relationship with God. Pray that he will submit his schedule to the Lord.
(Neh. 8:10; Prov. 17:22; Ps. 16:11)

Day 22
Pray that your husband will practice forgiveness in your relationship and with others. Pray that
he will recognize any roots of bitterness, and yield any resentment and unforgiving attitudes to
the Lord. (Eph. 4:32; Heb. 12:15)

Day 23
Pray that your husband will be a good father—disciplining his children wisely and loving them
unconditionally. If he is not a father, pray that he will find a young man to mentor in the things
of the Lord. (Eph. 6:4; Col. 3:21; 2 Tim. 2:1-2)

Day 24
Pray that your husband will have a balanced life—that he will balance work and play. Pray that
he will fear God, but also gain favor with people he knows at work and church. (Luke 2:52;
Prov. 13:15)
4

Day 25
Pray that your husband will be courageous in his stand against evil and injustice, and that he will
stand for the truth. Pray that he will protect you and your family from Satan’s attacks. (Ps.
31:24; Eph. 6:13; Ps. 27:14)

Day 26
Pray that your husband will discover and live his God-given purpose. Pray that he will offer all
his dreams to the Lord, and pursue only those goals that will bring God glory and count for
eternity. (Jer. 29:11; 1 Cor. 10:31)

Day 27
Pray that your husband will understand the importance of taking care of his body—the temple of
the Holy Spirit—for the glory of God. Pray that he will practice self-control by making wise
food choices, and get sufficient exercise to stay healthy. (Rom. 12:1-2; 1 Cor. 6:19-20, 9:27)

Day 28
Pray that your husband will be a man of prayer. Pray that he will seek and pursue God in
purposeful quiet times. (1 Thess. 5:17; Luke 22:46; James 5:16)

Day 29
Pray that your husband will surrender his time and talents to the Lord. Pray that his spiritual gifts
will be manifest in his career, at church, and in your home. (Eph. 5:15-16; 1 Cor. 12:4, 7)

Day 30
Pray that your husband will serve God and others with pure motives. Pray that he will obey the
Lord from his heart, and glorify Him in everything. (1 Cor. 10:13; John 7:17-18; Col. 3:23-24)

Day 31
Pray that your husband will recognize the lies of the Enemy in his life. Pray that his attitudes and
actions will be guided by the truth as he brings his thoughts into captivity to the Word of God.
(John 8:44; 2 Cor. 10:4-5)

Thanks Grace Watson for this article you discovered.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.