In Search for my “Friendly Friend”

18 Feb

girl with rose

In Search for my “Friendly Friend”

It is said that if you ask a woman to describe what she wants in a husband, she will describe her best friend.

Well I’m glad my husband wasn’t looking for a wife that was like his best friend cause a “Tarzan” I am not.

Malichi 2:14b “”…She is your companion and your wife by covenant…”

The dictionary shows the pan in the middle of the word companion. Pan is the word for bread. Bread is a comfort food. The dictionary has the definition for companion as one who accompanies another.

The Hebrew root word for companion implies intimate partner; accomplice.

THIS EXCITES ME!!!

I’ll tell you why. It is because God made something in husbands that will make them want to be with their wife. And vice versa. He made something in wives that makes them want to be around their hubbies.

YeeHaa! Is that the way you spell it? I don’t know!?! In Los Angeles they say, “What it is”. I think?

I have heard wives tell me for over 40 years, “I don’t know what my husband wants?”

Okay, listen up girls. I’ll tell you!

He wants his GIRLFRIEND back! The one he married. He wants his FRIENDLY FRIEND. He wants his CHEERLEADER!

Has anyone seen her??? Well he hasn’t either for a long time. POOR GUY!

You know that game “‘Where in the world is Waldo? Well where in the world is ____________________.

Maybe she is watching the Food Network Channel. No? Maybe she is texting her entourage instead of paying attention to her husband. No? Maybe she is Shopping. No? Maybe she is busy with the children. No?

Right now I have your attention. You are saying all sorts like:

“I work hard and I am tired when I get home.”

“How do I know what he wants to do? He doesn’t even talk to me.”

“I have kids and they have needs. What am I suppose to do?”

“He has his own hobbies and friends and could care less what I do!”

“I’ll be honest, he is just boring. I do my thing and he does his.”

“I tried. He doesn’t want to be with me.”

“I have other things that are more inspiring than to spend time with him.”

“He is fine just the way he is. Don’t rock the boat.”

“Oh! All of the above.”

Ok girls, I’ll mind my own business (MYOB). I have an assignment for you wives that are any of the above. It’s easy. All you need is a black marker. Are you ready? This is easy!! Start marking out of your bible all the verses that call you a companion or a helpmeet. Don’t forget Proverbs 31. The virtuous woman whose husband is known in the gates, his heart safely trusts in her, he has no lack of gain, she does him good and not evil all the days of her life, and he praises her because of all her thoughtfulness. Don’t forget Song of Solomon, etc.

Now for the wives that don’t have a black marker in their hand. Ask him what he wants to do. Sit and watch football with him. Go see those movies where everything blows up. Go visit your in-laws with him. Go to a game with him. Learn about his hobby or sport. Go sit with him in the garage while he exercises. Seem interested and ask him questions about what he likes. Smile at him. Give him gifts (small and not expensive). Go for a walk with him. Tell him you love him. Listen to him. Listen to him. Listen to him.

Read this once: If you don’t find a babysitter for your children, your husband will find a babysitter for him.

Where in the world did his GIRLFRIEND go? God expects you to be his CHEERLEADER, his FRIENDLY FRIEND!

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Praying For Your Spouse

17 Feb

Praying For Your Spouse

“She does him good….” Proverbs 31:12a
Bless your husband by praying for him!
The Apostle Paul instructed all Christians to pray for one another (Ephesians 6:18).

This includes wives’ responsibility and privilege to pray for their husbands.

Earnest prayer for your husband is good for him, for you and the spiritual health of your home (Proverbs 31:11-12).
Satan desires to destroy your husband, especially his character and his leadership in your
relationship.

Trust God through prayer as you daily surrender your husband and marriage to the
Lord’s wise, loving care.

31 Days of Prayer

Day 1
Pray that your husband will grow spiritually and consider his accountability before the Lord.
Pray that he will guard his heart by developing spiritual disciplines—Bible reading and study,
prayer, meditation, scripture memorization, etc. (2 Peter 3:18; Prov. 4:23)

Day 2
Pray that your husband’s relationship with God and His Word will bear fruit in his life. Pray that
he will be a man of wisdom and understanding, fearing the Lord. (Prov. 3:7, 9:10; Ps. 112:1)

Day 3
Pray that your husband will be humble and quick to agree with God about his sin. Pray that his
heart will be tender toward the voice of the Lord. (Ps. 51:2-4; Micah 6:8)

Day 4
Pray that your husband will grow in leadership skills in your relationship—protecting and
providing for you. Pray that he will lead you wisely and love you sacrificially, so that God will
be glorified in your marriage. (Eph. 5:25-29; Col. 3:19)

Day 5
Pray that your husband will be faithful to his wedding vows. Pray that he will have a desire to
cultivate your relationship as a sign of his loyalty and commitment to you, and as a picture of
Christ’s love for the Church. (Prov. 20:6; Gen. 2:24)

Day 6
Pray that your husband will love righteousness and hate wickedness, especially the evils of the
culture. Pray that he will recognize and avoid wickedness in his own life, and if necessary, take a
clear, strong stand against evil. (Prov. 27:12; John 17:15; 1 Cor. 10:12-13)
2

Day 7
Pray that your husband will safeguard his heart against inappropriate relationships with the
opposite sex. Pray that his heart will be pure and undivided in his commitment to you. (Prov.
6:23-24, 26; Rom. 13:14)

Day 8
Pray that your husband will work hard to provide for your family, to the best of his ability. Pray
that the character qualities necessary for a successful career and ministry will be a growing part
of his character – persistence, decisiveness, strength, an analytical mind, organizational skills,
positive relationships with people, determination, etc. (Rom. 12:11; 1 Cor. 15:58)

Day 9
Pray that your husband handle finances wisely, will have discernment concerning budgeting and
investments, and will be a good steward of his money in regard to giving to the Lord’s work.
Pray that money will not become a source of discord in your family. (Prov. 23:4-5; Rom. 12:13;
Heb. 13:5)

Day 10
Pray that your husband will cultivate strong integrity, and not compromise his convictions. Pray
that his testimony will be genuine, that he will be honest in his business dealings, and will never
do anything that he needs to hide from others. (Prov. 20:7; 1 Tim. 1:5, 3:7; Eph. 6:10-12)

Day 11
Pray that your husband will have a humble, teachable spirit and a servant’s heart before the Lord.
Pray that he will listen to God and desire to do His will. (Prov. 15:33; Eph. 6:6)

Day 12
Pray that your husband will yield his sexual drive to the Lord and practice self control. Pray that
your sexual intimacy together will be fresh, positive, and a reflection of selfless love. (Prov.
5:15, 18; 1 Cor. 7:3; Song of Solomon 7:10)

Day 13
Pray that your husband use practical skills to build your family and make wise decisions for your
welfare. Pray that he will serve unselfishly. (Gal. 5:13; Phil. 2:3-4)

Day 14
Pray that your husband will speak words that build you and your family, and reflect a heart of
love. Pray that he will not use filthy language. (Prov. 18:21; Eph. 4:29)

Day 15
Pray that your husband will choose his friends wisely. Pray that God will bring him men who
will encourage his accountability before God, and will not lead him into sin. (Prov. 13:20; Prov.
27:17)
3
Day 16

Pray that your husband will choose healthy, God-honoring activities. Pray that he will not live in
bondage to any questionable habits or hobbies, but that he will experience freedom in holiness as
he yields to the Spirit’s control. (1 Cor. 6:12, 10:31; 2 Tim. 2:4)

Day 17
Pray that your husband will enjoy his manliness as he patterns his life after Christ and strong
men in the faith. Pray for his physical, emotional, mental, social and spiritual strength. (Eph.
3:16; 1 Peter 2:21; 1 Cor. 10:11)

Day 18
Pray that your husband will have an eternal perspective—living in light of eternity. Pray that he
will reject materialism and temporal values and put God first in his life. (Matt. 6:33; Deut. 6:5;
Eph. 5:16; Ps. 90:12)

Day 19
Pray that your husband will be patient and a man of peace. Pray that he will not give in to anger,
but will allow the Holy Spirit to control his responses. (Rom. 14:19; Ps. 34:14)

Day 20
Pray that your husband will yield his mind and thoughts to the Lord. Pray that he will not
entertain immoral or impure thoughts, and that he will resist the temptation to indulge in
pornography. (Prov. 27:12; 2 Cor. 10:5)

Day 21
Pray that your husband will learn how to relax in the Lord and, in his greatest times of stress,
find joy and peace in his relationship with God. Pray that he will submit his schedule to the Lord.
(Neh. 8:10; Prov. 17:22; Ps. 16:11)

Day 22
Pray that your husband will practice forgiveness in your relationship and with others. Pray that
he will recognize any roots of bitterness, and yield any resentment and unforgiving attitudes to
the Lord. (Eph. 4:32; Heb. 12:15)

Day 23
Pray that your husband will be a good father—disciplining his children wisely and loving them
unconditionally. If he is not a father, pray that he will find a young man to mentor in the things
of the Lord. (Eph. 6:4; Col. 3:21; 2 Tim. 2:1-2)

Day 24
Pray that your husband will have a balanced life—that he will balance work and play. Pray that
he will fear God, but also gain favor with people he knows at work and church. (Luke 2:52;
Prov. 13:15)
4

Day 25
Pray that your husband will be courageous in his stand against evil and injustice, and that he will
stand for the truth. Pray that he will protect you and your family from Satan’s attacks. (Ps.
31:24; Eph. 6:13; Ps. 27:14)

Day 26
Pray that your husband will discover and live his God-given purpose. Pray that he will offer all
his dreams to the Lord, and pursue only those goals that will bring God glory and count for
eternity. (Jer. 29:11; 1 Cor. 10:31)

Day 27
Pray that your husband will understand the importance of taking care of his body—the temple of
the Holy Spirit—for the glory of God. Pray that he will practice self-control by making wise
food choices, and get sufficient exercise to stay healthy. (Rom. 12:1-2; 1 Cor. 6:19-20, 9:27)

Day 28
Pray that your husband will be a man of prayer. Pray that he will seek and pursue God in
purposeful quiet times. (1 Thess. 5:17; Luke 22:46; James 5:16)

Day 29
Pray that your husband will surrender his time and talents to the Lord. Pray that his spiritual gifts
will be manifest in his career, at church, and in your home. (Eph. 5:15-16; 1 Cor. 12:4, 7)

Day 30
Pray that your husband will serve God and others with pure motives. Pray that he will obey the
Lord from his heart, and glorify Him in everything. (1 Cor. 10:13; John 7:17-18; Col. 3:23-24)

Day 31
Pray that your husband will recognize the lies of the Enemy in his life. Pray that his attitudes and
actions will be guided by the truth as he brings his thoughts into captivity to the Word of God.
(John 8:44; 2 Cor. 10:4-5)

Thanks Grace Watson for this article you discovered.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

Q&A – Question and Answer Saturday

16 Feb

Q&A – Question and Answer Saturday

Welcome aboard!  Every Saturday will be reserved for answering marriage questions.  Before I start, I want to thank you so much for being a part of  MARRIAGE MATTERS.  I would like to give you a peek into my heart and thoughts.

Divorce is traumatizing to a child and they are impacted for the rest of their life.  Gods design is for a child to be raised by adoring parents.  God can fill the void in a child’s life, but they are still left with scars.

What I hope to accomplish, with God leading the way, is to give spouses insight to the devils devices. More importantly is for us to partner with the Holy Spirit and receive help from on high. Also, to keep children from suffering the struggles of a violent divorce.

Inspire others to subscribe to this blog at no charge and God will bless you hundredfold because there is no limit to how far Gods word can reach.  HELPING MARRIAGES TO LAST A LIFETIME!!

Question and answers

Question #1  How do you build a relationship when you are states away?

Answer #1:  I am assuming that you are married.  If you are not married, I would not advise it.  It’s hard to really get to know the person.  Everyone is palatable in small doses.  It’s during the long haul that issues start to appear.  If you are married, there are a lot of things you can and cannot do.  Today through social networking, you can keep communication going like never before.  Be on guard of the conversation.  Wives have a tendency to complain.  Before you talk to him, have an agenda of what you will discuss.  Make sure it is things he will enjoy.  Tell him the cute things his children are doing, not about the crummy co-worker you cannot stand.  Tell him about something interesting on the news, not about what broke in the house and how he needs to make several repairs as soon as he gets back.  Tell him a crazy joke you heard today.  Make him laugh!  Make him feel like he can’t wait till he talks to you again.  Give your list of complaints and your “honey do list” to your pet dog.

Question #2  What are the downsides in marrying someone younger than you? 

Answer #2  There aren’t any if you love God and partner with the Holy Spirit to have a Godly marriage and raise godly children.  That should keep any couple busy for a lifetime.  We have found through the years that if the husband is younger by 5 years of more, many times the wife has to deal with jealousy.  It isn’t the husbands problem, it’s the wifes.  She is the one who battles with her own thoughts.  The husband is usually completely pleased with her except for the insane jealousy.  When the husband is older by 10 years or more, the wife once again, has a tendency to struggle with it.  She expects a lot from him and seems to think his age is the reason for his actions.  Usually it is her who is not accepting him for who he is.  She becomes demanding and becomes frustrated.  This is what we have observed through the years of pastoring.  Since woman are supposed to out live men by approximately 10 years, they say it is fine for a woman to marry a man ten years younger than her.

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow!!!    You will receive a tool a spouse cannot do without!!

Put on Your Red Dress, Baby!

15 Feb

Put on Your Red Dress, Baby!

Girls were made for BLING, BLING and more BLING. Statistics show that women keep the economy going and going and…

All through Gods word, He talks about garments.  Even in the temple He was very articulate about how the priests presented themselves.

In this next verse for today,  we see something that is somewhat shocking.

Malachi 2:16 “For the LORD God of Israel says that He hates divorce, for it covers one’s garment with violence.”  Says the LORD of hosts.  “Therefore take heed to your spirit…”

(In Hebrew the word “violence” is pronounced chamac. It makes reference to someone who is damaged with falsehood, who is unjust and who is an oppressor.)

Wow!  Try wearing the garment of violence on a “first date” !!

No!  Not you.  You put your best foot forward.  But how about now?  Do you still put your best foot forward or do you threaten your spouse with the word D-I-V-O-R-C-E.

That word carries a cloak with it.  It’s a spirit of violence.

Psa.141:3 “Set a guard, O LORD, over my mouth; Keep watch over the door of my lips.”

      There is something within the nature of a woman who needs to be burdened and complaining about    something or someone.

Prov.13:3 “He who guards his mouth preserves his life, , But he who opens wide his lips shall have destruction.”

      An unguarded mouth leads to a ruined marriage.

God’s word says, “…take heed…” The word shamar in Hebrew means to build a hedge of thorns around, to protect, to guard and to watch.

God is warning us to take care of our mind, our life, and our anger. (ruwach)

Our LORD does not want us to be covered with deceit, offend our loved ones and His precious Holy Spirit.

You can do that!!!  We have a helper, the Holy Spirit.  Yessss!!!  Thank you Jesus.

Build your spouses life by imparting encouraging, loving words.

Rev.16:15 “Behold…Blessed is he who watches, and keeps his garments, lest he walk naked and they see his shame.”

You are the one he loves and you still drive him wild.  Put on your red dress, Baby!!

Ken Blount told us a joke on Sunday and I will share it with you now.

A husband went to his wife and asked her what she wanted for her birthday.  She was so excited and began to give him all the details of what it should look like.  She said that it should have chrome and be very shiny and beautiful.  Also, it should be able to go from zero to 200 in seconds.  She couldn’t  wait for her birthday to see what kind of  new car her husband had picked out for her.  On her birthday he entered her bedroom and handed her a bathroom scale. !?!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

You Play, You Pay!!

14 Feb

You Play, You Pay!!

In the United States, approximately two and a half million people with more than one million children struggled through a heart wrenching divorce this last year.

God HATES divorce, and we will research the wisdom of Gods word and find out why.

Malachi 2:16a “For the LORD God of Israel says that He hates divorce…” (In Hebrew, the pronunciation is sane. This word was used to describe how God felt about His enemy or foe.)

As a child I was obsessed with Monopoly the money game. The day my dad left home when I was thirteen, life was never the same for our family ever again. Divorce wasn’t a game for us because there were no WINNERS.

Here is a list from professionals on advice of what to do when considering a divorce. Keep in mind that this is before the other spouse even knows what is about to happen to them. Also, this is not godly counsel. Notice how it is all about MONEY.

1. Consult and hire a lawyer.

2. Know your spouses income.

3. Assess what you can earn.

4. Learn about family’s financial holdings.

5. Assess your family’s debt.

6. Make photocopies of all family financial records.

7. Take stock of your family’s valuables.

8. Learn how much it costs to run a household.

9. Determine where you will live.

10. Start saving money.

11. Build up your own credit.

12. Withdraw your money from the bank.

13. Consider canceling charge cards.

14. Take property that belongs to you and safeguard it.

15. Don’t make any unnecessary major purchases.

This one particular book on surviving divorce had another 361 pages concerning financial problems after the spouse knows about the intentions of divorce.

The end of the verse in Malachi 2:16 says, “…For it covers ones garments with violence.”

If I saw my spouse running around opening and closing bank accounts, secretly making photocopies, opening and closing credit cards, stocking up family valuables, and googling for divorce lawyers, I’d be “hot under the collar” to say the least.

Tomorrow we will continue our blog with garments of violence.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

Do people say you are “Hot or Cold”?

13 Feb

Do people say you are “Hot or Cold”?

If you are not  hot or cold, then you are mediocre.

Mediocre is lacking in exceptional quality or ability.

Mediocrity is a person of second-rate ability or value.

If we are talking about weather, mediocrity is sublime.  Los Angeles, California is the place to be.  You are within an hour from sunny beaches, and within an hour to snowy mountains.  But we are not talking about weather!!!!

We are talking about your MARRIAGE.

You must not be lukewarm about your marriage or Gods judgment will spew you out of his mouth.

Rev.3:15-16 To the church in Laodicea,

vs.15-16 “…I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot.  I wish you were either one or the other!  So, because you are lukewarm–neither hot nor cold–I am about to  SPIT  you out of my mouth…you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked.”

Christ severely warns the church of judgment against lukewarmness.  He is a God of excellence and desires us to be passionate about our marriage.

Are we sure that he is also talking about our marriages?

YES!!   Because in Mal.2:11 He calls marriage His …”holy institute”…. We don’t ever mess with anything that is holy because it means that it is sacred.  Set apart.

A mediocre marriage leads to divorce and God “hates divorce”  Mal.2:16.

It’s a funeral that never ends!

NOTE:   Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

ROMANCING YOUR SPOUSE

12 Feb

couple looking at each other eye to eye

ROMANCING YOUR SPOUSE

Do you get so caught up with the issues of the day that you don’t even have time for your husband?

You need to make “turning towards” your spouse a priority.

In order to keep your romance alive, let your spouse know that you value him.

 Not once a year, but try to make it a point everyday.

Even if it is as small as thanking him for helping you with something you asked him to do.

Even if you are shopping, it is a time that romance can grow because you are doing it together.

The point is that you are doing something together and “face-to-face.”

Think of words of encouragement to tell your spouse.

If you know your spouse is having a bad day, leave him a loving voicemail.

If there is a place he likes to go, make the suggestion that you go after work together for a date.

What ever you choose to do together, you are making a choice to “turn towards” each other rather than turn away.

Remember, that you are your spouses “companion.”

Mal.2:14  “…she is your companion and your wife by covenant.”

This is something that wives forget to do which is to “have fun” with their spouse.

It is sad to see in a marriage, when one partner is always trying to get the attention of their spouse just to get affection, support, or humor.

When their spouse does not “turn towards” them, then they usually turn away from the one they were trying to get attention from.

I heard once that it is better to find a babysitter for your spouse, than your spouse find a sitter for himself.

Wake up, girls!!

Turn face-to-face with your spouse!

You both need romance, and emotional connection in your marriage.

Do you read together?

Are you silent or do you talk over meals?

God made Eve for Adam in order to have someone for him to be emotionally engaged with.

Face-to-face involvement is necessary in order to stay together and in order to avoid departure of one of the spouses.

The difference in the outcome of your marriage is your “emotional bank account.”

It is like putting money in the bank every time you take the initiative to “turn towards” each other.

You need a build up in your “emotional savings” so when conflict or stress hits your marriage, you will make allowances for a negative action from your spouse.

The key to a long-lasting romance is to “turn toward” each other in little ways every day.

Face-to-face!!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.