SECRETS FOR AN OVERLOADED SPOUSE

30 Aug

SECRETS FOR AN OVERLOADED SPOUSE

Do you remain firm in your love for your spouse when faced with hard circumstances?

1Cor.13:7 “…Love …endures all things…”

The word “endures” in the Greek is  “hupomeno” which means to stay under or remain.

In secular Greek, “hupomeno” was a military term used to refer to an army who is holding a position at all costs.

This would be a person who is under a heavy load but refuses to surrender to defeat.

He will stay put and refuse to leave because he know that he is where he is suppose to be.

Do you endure in times of loneliness or loss?

If you are filled with the love of God and strengthened by the Holy Spirit, you can endure pain and suffering.

The early Christians and the apostles were able to endure suffering and torture, due to agape (love)for God.

Agape never quits or throws in the towel.

Are you patient and loving with your spouse with no desire to reject or retaliate?

Do you bear up under circumstances that seem impossible?

Example:  The formica japonica ants can lift and carry five times their weight.   God created them to endure hardness.

We were not made to endure heaviness with out the infilling of Gods Holy Spirit.

When your spouse is not successful at their attempts are you still cheerful and still standing?

We can never talk ourselves into agape (love)because we have no power within us.

Be honest with God and say, “I don’t love my spouse right now!!  I’m angry and have bad thoughts.”

You need to ask Jesus to fill you with His high-level love.

Here is an assignment for you to reach that higher-level.

  • Write down the 11 qualities of love in 1Cor.13.

As you think of each one, how are you measuring up?

Which ones are you strong in?

Which ones are you weak in?

Which ones do you need in your life right now?

  • Memorize 1Corinthians 13.

There is nothing more important in your life than letting God perfect His love in you.

Say, “I’m committed to be here in my marriage and to stay here and to work out our marriage.  I am not quitting no matter what the cost or time is to me.”

Don’t throw in the towel!

Jesus didn’t carry a towel with Him to Calvary.

Don’t carry one around in your marriage.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

MARRIAGES WHO SUFFER FROM STRESS

29 Aug

MARRIAGES WHO SUFFER FROM STRESS

The greatest spiritual gifts that the LORD left us are faith, hope and charity.

The Apostle Paul said in 1Corin.13:7, “…Love…hopes all things…”

Hope is not merely a “future state of happiness.”

In the secular world, they see “hope” as future expectations.

What is the difference between biblical hope and secular hope?

It’s the source!   Hope in a LIVING GOD!!

Marriages suffer from stress within and from stress outside.

Do you at times feel like a ship at sea in the middle of a storm tossed to and fro?

If we aren’t careful, that can take a toll on us and destroy our marriage.

Don’t become a prisoner of negative influences or it will tear your marriage apart.

When we gave our lives to Jesus, we became a captive to the hope we have in Jesus.

Return to the stronghold, you prisoners of hope.  Even today I declare that I will restore double to you.”

Remember that we have His promise, as prisoners of hope, that He will restore double to us after each trial.

Our hope is not based on “wishful thinking!”

Biblical faith is founded on faith in the factual content of the gospel.

  • Jesus’ death was due to our sins;
  • Jesus was buried;
  • On the third day Jesus was raised from the dead;
  • Because we believe this, we are believed to be righteous.

Because of these facts, we have hope in our marriage.

Believers are energized by Holy Spirit who dwells in us and gives us that living hope.

All believers have hope but it is not a “pie in the sky” dream.

This is a firm assurance that enables you to confidently face the problems around you.

Be confident that Jesus will keep all His promises.

Biblical hope is having certain expectation of God’s blessing, based on God’s faithful actions.

Jesus taught them not to be anxious about the future because that future is in the hands of your loving Father.

Hope right now can help you be satisfied with the joys of this life.

Hope provides the urge to live a pure life.

Hope helps us to be patient.

God wants to help your marriage grow stronger together.

Put your hope in Him!!!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

HELP KEEP YOUR SPOUSE FROM TEMPTATION

28 Aug

HELP KEEP YOUR SPOUSE FROM TEMPTATION

Protecting your spouse from temptation means making sure his or her sexual needs get met by you and you alone.  I have a good friend who said it this way, “If you don’t want to do his laundry, then your husband can take his clothes to the cleaners.  If you decide you don’t want to cook anymore for him, then he can go out to any number of great restaurants to eat.  But if you decide you don’t want to meet his sexual needs anymore—well, then you’ve got trouble.”

If your spouse isn’t getting his or her sexual needs met at home with you, and he or she can be tempted to go somewhere else, God call that a sin.

Don’t misunderstand what I am saying!  If your spouse sins sexually, he or she is responsible before God.  But at the same time, understand that you play a powerful role in helping your spouse to avoid yielding to temptation.  This is not intended to be a guilt trip!  It’s just the plain truth. Reality.

If you love your mate, then you’ll want to protect him from the limitless temptations that the enemy of our souls floats by him or her day after day.  Make it your priority and your goal to meet your mate’s needs in a way that would cause him or her to look nowhere else.

NOTE:  This article is from the book Family Life and Marriage Bible from Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is new post to help your marriage succeed.

SATURDAY – QUESTION & ANSWER

27 Aug

SATURDAY – QUESTION & ANSWER 

Question #1.  Marriage has seemed to dull our romantic creativity—what should we do?

Answer #1.  At some point in almost every marriage, a couple realizes that they just don’t experience the same romantic feelings they once enjoyed.

Romance is the sugar and spice of marriage.  It is the fire in the fireplace—the warm response of one spouse to another that says, “We may have struggles, but I love you, and everything is okay.”  We can enjoy the warmth of our love for one another, even in the midst of the chilling winds of difficult times.

Romance should be a part of our everyday marriage experience.  Proverbs 5:18, 19 tells husbands, “Rejoice with the wife of your youth, as a loving deer and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times.  And always be enraptured with her love.”

That’s a powerful image–literally, to be enraptured with your mate.  This type of romance is part of what sets a marriage apart from just a friendship.  Barbara is my friend, but a side from our relationship goes way beyond that.  We share a marriage bed and we dream thoughts and share intimacies that are reserved only for us!

God designed the marriage relationship, to experience exhilaration with your most intimate of friends, your spouse.  Don’t settle for less.

NOTE:  This article is from the book Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a post to help your marriage succeed.

WHEN MARRIAGE LOOKS IMPOSSIBLE

26 Aug

WHEN MARRIAGE LOOKS IMPOSSIBLE

When things look the worst, do you believe that God will work out his master plan in your life?

The Apostle Paul told the Corinth church, “…Agape (love)… believes all things…”

The word “believes” is the Greek word elpidzo which is that same as the word “hope.”

The word “believe” implies that love sees the best in others and chooses to believe the best and not the worst.

Paul is saying that we need to believe the best in our spouse unless they do something that convinces us otherwise.

Agape doesn’t mean that you have to be a “dumbbell”, because love has discernment and wisdom.

Avoid undue suspicion and regard your spouse as being good and honest.

This doesn’t just mean some of the time; this is a “never give up” kind of belief for every situation.

Love means that you have to show confidence.

CASE AND POINT:  I had a relationship with my mom that I never told her a lie.  She knew I could be trusted.  Many times this was upsetting to me because if she thought my older brother was lying, she would ask me to tell her the truth.  I hated tattling on him because he was always getting in trouble.  I had five brothers who always had a story that didn’t quite match the truth.  In the 60’s most of the teenage guys were experimenting with LSD.  Every time my mom saw him with his shades on, she would tell him, “You better not be on that LSD.”  His answer to her would be, “Well I wasn’t, but now I will since you don’t trust me anyway.”  I was forever telling her not to tell him that.  I didn’t want him to get mad and go do drugs.

Do you give your spouse the benefit of the doubt?

This doesn’t mean that you have to be GULLIBLE.

You still see “the good, the bad, and the ugly” things that people do, you just have to display love and confidence.

Our flesh is always ready to believe the worst about our spouse.

The opposite is that agape believes the best in your spouse.

Do you feel that if you trust your spouse with some aspect of your marital life, they will end up burning you again?

TRUST GOD!!

Doesn’t it make you feel ugly when you find out that your spouse is upset with you for something you never did?

Trust is not GRILLING your spouse for details.

You are not an attorney cross-examining a defendant!!

You are his COMPANION; you are his PLAYMATE!!

Let go of the “the good, the bad, and the ugly” and have fun!!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

WHAT IS HIGH-LEVEL LOVE?

25 Aug

WHAT IS HIGH-LEVEL LOVE?

Do you make allowances for your spouse and endure whatever comes your way?

The Apostle Paul said, “Love…bears all things…”

In the Greek, the word “beareth” is stego which means “to cover”, just like a roof covers a house.

This word gives a picture of covering someone so they don’t get injured.

Love SUPPORTS what is placed on top of it and covers and protects what is placed under it.

Agape (love) patiently endures the faults of others especially from their spouse.

Are you operating in this kind of high-level love?

Love knows when and how to be SILENT.

In your marriage you have a choice of what kind of an attitude that you want to have.

It’s your CHOICE!!

Has there been a time in your marriage that you stood by your spouse’s side no matter what the cost?

The Holy Spirit wants to give you STRENGTH to endure anything that may come to destroy your marriage.

Love doesn’t look back but continues to the very end.

If you were on a tiny boat with your spouse and the boat sprung a leak, what would you do?

PANIC!!  And try to cover the hole so water couldn’t sink the boat.

A marriage in progress tries to “Save their Loveboat.”

This is exactly what spouses need to do for each other.

Agape covers negative things about others rather than putting a magnifying glass on them.

Do you exaggerate the negative areas in your spouse and don’t acknowledge the positive?

Do you plow down your spouse with sarcasm or put-downs?

Agape won’t lie about the weaknesses of others.

Don’t let bitterness control you instead cover your spouses faults and failures.

Go the extra mile to PROTECT your spouse’s reputation; don’t broadcast bad news.

You can’t sink his end of the “loveboat” without sinking yours.

Happy paddling!!!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

NEVER REJOICE AT SPOUSES FAILURES

24 Aug

NEVER REJOICE AT SPOUSES FAILURES

Have you ever received news about a person who had hurt and disappointed you, was now going through difficult times?

Was your attitude, “Well, that is just what they deserve.”

God’s agape (love) does not react like that!

The Apostle Paul exhorted the Corinth church for reacting in a sinful manner.

“…love…does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoiceth in the truth.”

Unrighteousness is the condition of not being right according to God’s standard.   It also means to not being right with man, according to what man knows to be right which is determined by his conscience.

Never rejoice at your spouse’s failures, even if it is a result of their own foolishness.

Remember, we need to be a soft pillow for them to fall on.

Prov.24:17 “Do not rejoice when your enemy falls, and do not let your heart be glad when he stumbles”

Do you disregard what is right in God’s eyes concerning your spouse?

Do you change the boundaries because this is your spouse and you can do what you want?

In Mal.2:14-15, husbands are being exhorted for dealing treacherously with their wives.

Wives, you are not “off the hook.”

I know some wives who are extremely cruel to their spouses.

Many wives feel their husbands deserve punishment because of disrespect that is dished out to them by him.

In God’s kingdom, that is SIN!!

 Agape does not rejoice at another’s downfall.

That is PRIDE and God hates PRIDE!!

CASE AND POINT:  One of my children was always picking on their younger sibling.  Every time that would happen, I was getting madder and madder.  The punishment of my choice became more severe each time.  One evening I had a dream.  In this dream a duck turned and bit the face of this tiny cute “chickie.”  I was very hurt for the tiny chick.  As we walked out the door, I slammed the door on the duck.  I could here the duck quacking loudly.  I opened the door and let the duck loose.  When I woke up I was very upset at what I had done in the dream.   I realized what God was showing me.  The punishment has to fit the crime.  I was hurting someone smaller than me just like my older child was hurting the smaller child.  I felt TERRIBLE!!

We need to rejoice in what is truth and right in God’s sight; not draw our own conclusions as to what our spouse deserves.

Isa.5:20 “Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!

Thess.2:11-12 “…they should believe a lie…be damned who believe not the truth, but had pleasure in unrighteousness.”

NEVER say, “Well, they finally got what they deserve!!”

Because you might get what you deserve!!!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

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