6 Apr


I know you have heard about a “man cave” but what about his “fantasy castle.?”

Yes, men do dream of having their “fantasy castle”.

I am sure everyone has heard of the saying that, “A mans home is his castle.”


My husband is artistic, so he loves to pick where we live and how it will be decorated.

Thank God we have the same taste or it would be a mess.

We will continue on with some comments from the book, “His needs, her needs”, by Willard F. Harley Jr.

A man’s fantasy goes something like this:

His home life is free of stress and worry,

After work, his wife greets him lovingly at the door and

Their well-behaved children are also glad to see him.

He enters the comfort of a well maintained home

As his wife urges him to relax before having dinner.

Conversation at the dinner is enjoyable and

Free of conflict.

Later the family goes out together for an early evening stroll, and

He returns to put the children to bed

With no hassle or fuss.

Then he and his wife relax and

Talk together,

Watch a little television, and,

At a reasonable hour, go to bed to make love.

Does this look like what happens in your home nightly?

How many men would marry a woman who would refuse to manage housework or childcare?

The “man’s fantasy” has become the “woman’s fantasy” as well.  They both want to relax after a stressful day at work.

Do you use your time wisely?  Prov.31:27 “She looketh well to the ways of her household (is a good manager, is economical) and eateth not the bread of idleness.”

Once you get home, be careful not to spend extra time on the phone talking to friends.

Also, watch your social networking time because time can pass quickly.

Are you a good homemaker?  Titus 2:5 “To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home (homemakers), good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”

Be sure to get rid of clutter.  Whatever your husband is asking for you to do, you should spend time completing.

Do you teach your children about God?  Isa.54:13  “And all thy children shall be taught of the Lord; and great shall be the peace of thy children.”

Try to be creative.  Ken and Trudy Blount have many resources for family.  They have one book that has an array of ideas for everyday to do activities with your children.  It has been highly recommended!

Do you allow angry words in your home?  Eph.4:26 “Be ye angry: Let not the and sin not sun go down upon your wrath.”

It only takes one person to stop a fight.  All day you have been a  testimony to your coworkers, now be a testimony to your own family.

Do you lust at what your neighbor has?  Luke 12:15 “…take heed and beware of covetousness: for a mans (woman’s) life consists not in the abundance of the things which he (she) possesseth.”

The devil tells all of us that we are working for nothing.  He always shows us someone who is in a better financial standing then us to get us to covet.  Don’t go for his tricks.

On Sunday does your family drop everything and go to church?

Ex.20:8-10 “Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy…the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord thy God…”

Prepare the day before for church.  This way everyone gets up and knows exactly what they are supposed to be doing.

In Lu Ann Bransby’s book “ Woman”, she lists 8 ways to have a happy household.

  1. Repent of your sins and turn away from them.
  2. Dedicate your house and everything in it to God.
  3. Keep yourself and your family pure.  Do not have sex with anyone who is not your spouse…No sexual fantasies, objects, literature, TV shows.
  4. Do not drink, take drugs, or us foul language.  Treat each other the way you would like to be treated.
  5. Go to church together.
  6. Use self-control in all things.
  7. Read the bible and pray together.
  8. Love your neighbor.

Your husband’s home is his castle.

Let him make DECISIONS for his own home!!!

Or is your husband just a guest and can’t make the decision?


Whose castle is it anyway???

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to make your marriage a success.


5 Apr


IF COUPLES SHOULD PRAY for one thing consistently, it is that God will use them to accomplish His purposes.  That is the theme of a biblical prayer by an obscure man named Jabez, whom the Bible describes as “more honorable than his brothers” (1Chron.4:9).

Jabez prayed, “Oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain!”  And note what happened, “So God granted him what he requested” (1Chron.4:10)

Jabez asked God to do several things, and every one is something that all married couples can and should ask for.  First, he asked that God bless him and “enlarge his territory”–meaning, give him new turf and enlarge his sphere of influence so that he could more widely influence others for God.

He also asked God to keep him from evil so that he wouldn’t cause pain to others through his own sin–in other words, that God would keep him from temptation.

The prayer of Jabez should not be a mantra recited in hopes that saying these particular words will unlock some spiritual blessing.  This prayer reflects the righteous desires of a godly man.  Do you desire that God would provide you with greater influence for His kingdom and would keep you from sin?  Then make the prayer of Jabez a model for how you pray together as a couple today.

NOTE:  This article was taken from the book Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to make your marriage successful.


4 Apr


THE BIBLE IS AMAZING.  It can use even the actions of a proud, pagan king to instruct us on how to treat our wives with respect. I see this in 2Kings 25:28, which describes how the Babylonian ruler Evil-Merodach treated the captive King Jehoiachin: “He spoke kindly to him, and gave him a more prominent seat than those of the kings who were with him in Babylon.”  This foreign ruler was not required to speak to and treat King Jehoiachin with such respect.  But he did.

Do you speak kindly to your spouse?  Do you speak with respect?  Without careful attention, your tongue can become caustic, searing, and accusing.  I work hard in this area, because I know that honor begins with attitude.  I also know that when I am under pressure, I can become curt and snippy.

I’ve learned that I must protect my wife from others who speak disrespectfully to her.  When our children talked back to Barbara,  they knew that they were going to have to deal with me. Our children were great, but they tried to mug her on numerous occasions.  She was outnumbered!  That’s why I did my best not to let them get away with speaking to her disrespectfully.

In addition, do you give your wife a prominent seat higher than others?  If your wife works outside the home, she may need you to supply a free evening once or twice a week, when you volunteer to do it al: put the children to bed, clean the kitchen, do the laundry, etc.  Hey, if Evil-Merodach can do it for a captive king, why can’t you treat your partner for life even better?

NOTE:  This article is from the book Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.


3 Apr


The third thing that your husband needs is a GOOD LOOKING wife.

In the book “For Women Only” by Shaunti Feldhahn, I will be using some comments and statistics.

A wife’s blind spot is that she doesn’t know how important it is to her husband that she takes care of her looks and doesn’t look like a slouch around him.

Statistics show that women spend 40% of their free time on social networking.

This statistic shows where women today are setting their priorities.

When a survey was done, seven out of ten men indicated they would be EMOTIONALLY bothered if their wife let herself go and didn’t make the effort to do something about it.   These are happily, married, younger, church going men.

83% of men said that he wants his wife to look and feel good.  She doesn’t have to look the way she did the day they met, but it’s important that she makes an effort to look good now.

97% of men said they would be willing to make an effort to help their wives do what’s necessary to get in shape.

The effort you put into your appearance is extremely HIGH on his priority list.

Husbands feel it affects him because it affects his wife’s ability to do things and her self-worth and her desires.

Your dress is also important to God.  1Tim.2:9 “In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety…”

The word “shamefacedness” in the Greek implies  to dress with reverence towards God.

Here are some areas for you to consider:

FIRST, celebrate our God-given individuality and body—make the best of it.

Most husbands don’t want their wife to be so super sensitive about their bodies.

Husbands don’t care if you have a PERFECT body or not.

You are the one who cares!!

SECOND, be careful that you are not trying to be a size 2.

THIRD, we need to accept how complicated and hypersensitive the appearance issue is for both partners.

You liked that he enjoyed your looks during courtship, but many women feel outright resentful that her appearance still matters so much to him now.

We need to show our man that we’re willing to make the effort to ADDRESS something that is very important to him.

Your effort matters most!!!

The fact that you are willing to make the effort to take care of yourself FOR HIM is the point.

This is BIG!!

Those of us who don’t believe in divorce may need to own up to a sneaking COMPLACENCY.

Because our husbands have pledged their faithfulness for a “better or for worse”, and because we know “it’s what’s inside that counts,” we can easily migrate to the idea that what’s outside doesn’t matter.

Our husbands end up feeling disregarded, disrespected, and hurt, when we willingly ignore what is on the outside.

Our husbands FEEL LOVED and cared for when we make the effort.

Happiness in your marriage does depend on your appearance.

Your husband wants to be proud of you!!!!

Here are areas that you can cover:

FIRST, are you practicing weight control?

Once again, you don’t have to be a size 2.

You just have to be a healthy size.

There are an array of diets and exercises in the internet.

SECOND, are you using make up properly?

Do you over do it with the makeup or under do it?

Do you just put it on during the week but omit weekends when with your husband?

THIRD, does he like your hairstyle?

Ask him!!

Current hairstyles may not be attractive to him.

He might be tired of your current hairstyle.

FOURTH, do your clothes fit you right?

Are your clothes to tight and showing your bulges?

Are your clothes to baggy because you lost weight?

You don’t need expensive clothes.

Never wear something you have worn the day before.

FIFTH, how is your personal hygiene?

Are you taking care of your teeth?

Are your clothes clean?

SIXTH, watch your posture.

SEVENTH,  watch your gestures.

Try to always smile.

EIGHTH, do you make the most of what you have?

You don’t need to have a perfect body or looks.

Attractiveness is what you do with what you have.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.


2 Apr


We will continue on with the second thing your husband can’t do without – RECREATIONAL COMPANIONSHIP.

Much of the information will come from the book, “His needs, Her needs” by Willard F. Harley, Jr.

One of the places that I really enjoy going to with my husband, is the Dodger baseball game.  We hardly have time, so we may go to one or two games a year.  When we do go, I absolutely love it.  We don’t eat hot dogs, only when we go to the ball game.  It makes the game that much better cause then we have two things to look forward to.  Their hot dogs are famous and almost everyone at the Dodger Stadium is standing and eating a “Dodger Dog.”

God’s word has different verses concerning recreation.

Let’s look in Malachi to see where the wife fits in.

Mal.2:14 “…she is your companion and the wife by covenant.”

The Hebrew root word implies an intimate partner; an accomplice.

In the dictionary, a companion is one who accompanies another.

In the middle of the word companion is the word “pan.”

Pan is bread, which is a “comfort food.” That is what a wife is, a COMFORT.

The verse goes on to say in verse 14, “…and your wife by covenant…”

A covenant is a formal and binding agreement under seal between two or more parties.

The covenant is that you are to be his FRIENDLY FRIEND!

When you are courting, you had no problem joining in his interests.

Your interest in his favorite activities helps SEAL the marriage deal.

Recreational compatibility is usually crucial criterion for men in selecting a wife.

Men place a HIGH importance on recreational activity.

Wives after marriage, usually try to convince their husbands into the activities they are interested in.

If they fail to convince their husbands to do what they want, they may encourage their husbands to continue their activities WITHOUT them.

Spending recreational time with his wife is ranked second only to sex for the typical husband.

When she doesn’t want to enjoy him, he may feel she is then moving in on his recreational life, which is one of the things that keeps him going.

The wife is making a dangerous choice by sending him off to his most enjoyable activity without his wife present to enjoy it with him.

The wife is taking a risk that someone of the opposite sex may turn up to be their companion and there is a risk of them falling in love.

You are missing out on a GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY to have fun together.

Those hours and days are now lost because his favorite recreational companion was not there.

Many wives testify that the secret to their marriage is that they stayed together in PURSUNG a recreational activity.


It is better to find a babysitter for your children than your husband find a babysitter for him.

Note: Make two copies of the following list of activities.  Have your husband put a star (*) on the ones he would enjoy doing or put a (+) by the ones he might enjoy.  You do the same on your copy.  Match them up and start having fun together.  Let him know you are doing this so you can have fun with him.

Watch for the smile on his face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ACTIVITY                                                          ACTIVITY

ACTING                                                       FLYING (AS PILOT)

AEROBIC EXERCISE                                FLYING (AS PASSENGER)

AMUSEMENT PARKS                              FOOTBALL (WATCHING)


ARCHERY                                                    GARDENING

ASTRONOMY                                             GENEALOGICAL RESEARCH

AUTO CUSTOMIZING                              GOLF

AUTO RACING (WATCH)                        HAM RADIO

BADMINTON                                              HANDBALL

BASEBALL (WATCHING)                        HIKING

BASEBALL (PLAYING)                             HOCKEY (WATCHING)

BASKETBALL (WATCH)                          HOCKEY (PLAYING)


BIBLE STUDY                                              HORSE SHOWS (WATCHING)

BICYCLING                                                   HORSE RACING

BOATING                                                       HORSESHOE PITCHING

BODYBUILDING                                          HOT AIR BALLOONING

BOWLING                                                      HUNTING

BOXING (WATCHING)                               ICE FISHING

BRIDGE                                                           ICE SKATING

CAMPING                                                        JOGGING

CANOEING                                                     JUDO

CHECKERS                                                     KARATE

CHESS                                                              KNITTING

CHURCH SERVICES                                      METALWORK

COIN COLLECTING                                       MODEL BUILDING


COMPUTER GAMES                                      MOUNTAIN CLIMBING

COMPUTER __________________                      MOVIES

CONCERTS (ROCK MUSIC)                         MUSEUMS



CROQUET                                                          PHOTOGRAPHY

DANCING ___________________                          PLAYS

DINING OUT                                                      POETRY

FISHING                                                              POLO (WATCHING)

ACTIVITY                                                 ACTIVITY

POOL (OR BILLIARDS)                           WEAVING

QUILTING                                                   WOODWORKING

RACQUETBALL                                         TOBOGGANING

REMODELING (HOME)                           VIDEO GAMES

ROCK COLLECTING                                 VIDEO PRODUCTION

ROLLER-SKATING                                   VIDEO MOVIES (WATCHING)

SAILING                                                       WOODWORKING

SCULPTING                                                 WRESTLING

SHOOTING (SKEET,TRAP)                     YACHTING





SHOPPING (______________)




















NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.


1 Apr


An inventor died by the name of Harry Cooper at age 94.  This young chemist, in the 40’s and 50’s, by accident discovered an adhesive which today is known as “Super Glue” and “Instant Crazy Glue.”  From the beginning, it’s remarkable adhesive power has been used for an array of uses:  1.) to seal blood vessels in open heart surgery, 2.) assemble atomic bombs, 3.) leg fractures, 4.) applied to bloody wounds during the Vietnam War, 4.) etc.

One invention has changed the life style for people around the world and has caused a man to be financially set for life.

God our Father, who created (invented) the universe, also created marriage.

As an inventor, God created marital super glue, which is SEX.

Yet with all the books, therapy, clergy, counselors and other help, still over 50% of marriages end in divorce.

To bring some understanding, I will be using comments partly from the book “His needs, her needs” by Williard F. Harley, Jr.  He has collected more than forty thousand questionnaires from clients asking about their sexual history and behavior.

Sex unlocks a man’s EMOTIONS and the woman holds the key.

Harley has found three important differences between men and women when it comes to sex: sexual drive, awareness of their sexuality; and their primary reason to have sex.

1. SEXUAL DRIVE – The average man has a much higher sex drive than the average woman.  This is because the only known aphrodisiac, testosterone, flows in abundance through men while in much shorter supply in women.

Sex usually is a man’s number one emotional need.

2.   SEXUAL AWARENESS – It is the knowledge of how to respond sexually.  Boys tend to explore their sexuality earlier and more often than girls.  By the time they marry, men usually have an advanced sexual understanding than the wife.

Almost every man surveyed enjoyed his first heterosexual encounter, while most women reported finding it a disappointment.

Men know how to respond sexually, while the women haven’t figured it out yet.

The ROOT of many marital problems is that he is more experienced and motivated by strong desires and she is less motivated and experienced.

A man cannot achieve sexual fulfillment in his marriage unless his wife joins him in the sexual experience.

3.  SEXUAL MOTIVATION – With a much higher sex drive, the primary reason men have sex is to relieve their craving.  For women , the primary reason is intimacy and emotional bonding.

Women who are emotionally withdrawn from their husband are notoriously unwilling to have sex with him.

Negotiation begins with a respectful exchange of perspectives, and by discussing these differences with each other.  By searching for ways to make sex fulfilling for both of you, you will be able to find a solution to one of the most common problems in marriage.


Sexual problems cause tension and unhappiness in many marriages, but these difficulties can be solved pretty easily.

For the wife to enjoy sex, she will need help from her husband.  If he does not communicate his care for her often and effectively, she will feel that he is insensitive and uncaring.

You can’t enjoy your end of a marriage if your spouse can’t enjoy his or her end.

If you care about your spouse, you don’t use or deny your spouse out of selfishness or ignorance.

Meet your spouse’s needs as you would want your spouse to meet yours.

Luke 6:31 “Do to others as you would have them do to you.”


The following is an article from “Today’s Christian Woman.”  The author shares about her attitude when her husband wanted to make love more often.  She said, “It just wasn’t one of my priorities.”

“I felt what I did all day was meet other people’s needs.  Whether it was caring for my children, working in ministry, or washing my husband’s clothes, by the end of the day I wanted to be done need-meeting.  I wanted my pillow and a magazine.  But God prompted me:  Are the “needs” you meet for your husband the needs he wants met? I realized my husband never complained when things were not getting done at home. I soon realized I regularly said “no” to the one thing he asked of me.  I sure wasn’t making myself available to my husband by militantly adhering to my plan  for the day… I’d been so focused on what I wanted to get done and what my children needed, I’d cut my hubby out of the picture.”



He put his trust in you when he married you that you would be sexually interested in him.

Has it turned out to be the biggest mistake of his life?

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to make your marriage a success.


31 Mar


People usually marry because they find each other irresistible—they FALL IN LOVE.

Willard F Harley, Jr. in his book “His needs, Her needs” provides guidance for becoming irresistible to your spouse.

From the information he has accumulated through his research, we will get right to the heart of what makes marriages work—THE FEELING OF LOVE.

In marriage, we must learn to meet each others emotional needs.

The first thing he can’t do without—SEXUAL FULFILLMENT

When a man chooses a wife, he makes this commitment because he trusts her to be as sexually interested in him as he is in her.

Unfortunately, the man finds that putting his trust in this woman has turned into one of the biggest mistakes of his life.

Some husbands tough it out, but many cannot and find SEX ELSEWHERE.

More than half of all married couples go through the agony of unfaithfulness and affairs.

The unfaithful man justifies his behavior by dwelling on the fact that the wife failed to keep her SEXUAL COMMITMENT to him.

Meeting each other’s needs:

a.) Many men lack skill in lovemaking because they fail to understand a woman’s need for affection as part of the sexual process.  When a man learns to be affectionate, his lovemaking will become very different.  The man interested only in satisfying his hunger for sex molest his wife more than anything else, because his technique is insensitive to her feelings.

b.) Many women don’t know how to enjoy meeting a husband’s compelling need for sex.  To satisfy her husband sexually, a wife must also feel satisfied.  Wives should try to make their bodies available to their husbands on a more regular basis but also learn to enjoy the sexual relationship as much as their husband does.

The second thing he can’t do without—RECREATIONAL COMPANIONSHIP

It is not uncommon for single women to join men in pursuing their interests.

After marriage, many wives encourage their husbands to continue their recreational activities WITHOUT THEM.

This is a dangerous choice because men place great importance on recreational activities.  Her interest in his favorite activities helps make enough Love Bank deposits to seal the marriage deal.

There is a risk of your SPOUSE falling in love with whoever turns out to be their recreational companion if they are of the opposite sex.

Engage in only those recreational activities that you and your spouse can enjoy together.

The third thing he can’t do without is a Good-Looking Wife—PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS

A man has a need for an attractive wife and he feels good whenever he looks at his attractive wife.

When this need is not met the husband feels FRUSTRATED.  They appreciate a good-looking wife.

Any woman can enhance her attractiveness to her husband.

Here are FIVE major areas to becoming attractive:

  1. Weight control programs
  2. The use of makeup
  3. A hairstyle he likes
  4. The right clothes
  5. Personal hygiene

Attractiveness is what you do with what you have.

The fourth thing he can’t do without is peace and quiet—DOMESTIC SUPPORT.

A man’s fantasy is that his home life is free of stress and worry.

Not many men would marry a woman who would refuse to manage housework or childcare.

The fifth thing he can’t do without is for you to be proud of him—ADMIRATION

When a woman tells a man she thinks he’s wonderful, that inspires him to achieve more.

He sees himself as CAPABLE of handling new responsibilities and perfecting his skills.

A man thrives on a woman’s admiration.

Instead of making massive Love Bank deposits with admiration, spouses make massive withdrawals with CRITICISM.

Jesus Christ taught us, in Luke 6:31  “Do to others as you would have them do to you.”

The sixth thing he can’t do without is YOU!!!

YESSS!!!!!  He married you to fulfill all of the above.

Did he make a mistake?????   You didn’t deceive him did you?????

During your courtship, you must have given him the idea that you had what it took to be his GIRLFRIEND, CHEERLEADER, FRIENDLY FRIEND AND LOVER  for a lifetime!!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.