LOVE YOUR SPOUSE

ARE YOU A LAZY WIFE?

Is there a spy lurking in your house?

CASE AND POINT:  I remember we had purchased these two Shih-Tzu puppies.  They were as cute as can be and would get lost in our house by  crawling into my husband’s slippers.  One of their favorite things to do was to get into any bag that we brought home from the store.  Some days we would come home from shopping and put our purses or bags down and go take care of other issues that were more important at that moment.  By the time we returned, all packages were ripped open and everything was mauled.  The inside of our purses would be left with ripped gum or mint packages with the contents gone.  Lipsticks would be eaten away.  If guests left their purses down, we would end the evening with apologies of the actions of these little critters.

These puppies watched every move we made and spied out every bag that came into our house.

These puppies did this for SELFISH reasons, but as we read about this Proverbs 31 woman, we see some similarities.

Let’s continue to take another “profile peek” into this virtuous woman to dissect her actions.

Pro.31:27 “She looketh well to the ways of her household and eateth not the bread of idleness.”

This verse implies that she was a watchman over her home:  A SPY.

A definition of a “watchman” is a person who watches over and protects property, assets or person.

This godly woman is alertly looking for any danger that may hurt her family.

Are you WATCHING out for all the dangers on the internet?  Pornography?

Do you know where your children are and who they are with?  How about evil companions?

What about UNGODLY entertainment?  Are you aware of their choice in music and what your family is watching on television?

Your number one job as a parent is to be fully aware of what is happening in your child’s life.

Just like our puppies, you need to get into those bags and SNIFF OUT anything you need to look through.

Are your children attending church services?  Are they praying?  Are they reading God’s word?

This is all a part of your family responsibility!!

The next issue in this verse is that she did not indulge in slothfulness.

She is an ENERGETIC, organized person who carries out all her household responsibilities.

The word “idle” means sluggish or lazy.

Taking care of your house is a lot of hard work and if yours is looking lovely, it did not get there by chance.

If you have created a place of beauty and comfort for your family, you deserve to be BLESSED.

Right now I want to bring this subject right into your home?

If you are a woman whose home is not a show place, may I help you?

You can change today.  Let’s take baby steps.

Remember, if you are asking the Holy Spirit to guide your family, He lives in your home also.

If your place is cluttered and you have no space for items, rent a storage space.  This one act can save your marriage.  They are not expensive and you can find small areas.

If you do not like to clean, you have a lot of options.

CALL a cleaning service to do your deep cleaning.

If you don’t have the funds, find a friend who loves to organize and clean.  Then trade chores with them.  You offer your services to cook for that person or do other chores you enjoy that they don’t like as bill paying, ironing, gardening, child sitting, etc.

Other suggestions are to take on one room at a time.

Ask God to help you.

This is so important to God and your spouse.

If he has asked or hinted about this, you better get moving in the RIGHT direction.

Forget about your next shopping spree and put that money into making your house a home.

Don’t be a Queen of a “pigs pen!”

Do I here an “oink” “oink” girls?  I hope not!!

Fighting the good fight and loving it!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

UNDERSTAND and APPRECIATE YOUR DIFFERENCES

A handsome thirty-something husband and wife team told me how they finally understood how their differences complemented one another.  The husband explained, “My wife is a prosecuting attorney.  I felt like she prosecuted from eight to five and persecuted from five to eight!

“In the year and a half we have been married, I found out she is a strong woman.  I had hoped I could pressure her to change—if I persevered, I might be able to beat her down.  But I have finally understood that I don’t have to compete with her.  I can let her be who she is, and not feel insecure about who I am.”

That husband has come to understand how he and his wife balance each other.  He realizes he can lead her, even though at times she might challenge him, but that even this is good for him.

Understanding your mate from God’s perspective results in acceptance of his or her differences and beginning to learn how God made that person to complement you.  Understanding produces compassion for your partner.  It will give you insight to lead wisely or to follow prudently.  Understanding builds, oneness by establishing the relationship on a foundation of common insight.

NOTE:  This article came from the book Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

SATURDAY – QUESTION & ANSWER  

Question #1.

What is God’s real purpose for sex?

Answer #1.

The designer of sex, God, has made numerous statements in His Word that describe His purpose for the sexual aspect of marriage.

First, sex is the process He gave  us to multiply a godly heritage.  He commanded us to “be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it” (Gen.1:28).  Some have joked that this is the only divine command that humankind has ever faithfully obeyed!  This, however, overlooks the truth that God isn’t interested merely in a planet full of humans; what He’s after is a godly heritage, boys and girls who grow up in godly homes who love to worship and serve their Creator.

Second, God designed sex for our pleasure.  In fact, Scripture talks significantly more about enjoying the pleasures of sex than it does about being fruitful and multiplying.  Do you think it is mere accident that our bodies have such huge numbers of pleasure receptors on and around the sexual organs?  God designed us this way.

Third, in some profound way, the physical act of two becoming one is meant to echo the eternal and infinite fellowship that the members of the Godhead have always enjoyed with one another.

NOTE:  This article came from the book Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be successful.

WISDOM, A WIFES BEST FRIEND

BFF means “best friends forever”.  And if you were girly, you would know that.

In the social world of the young ladies, changing best friends from time to time is very common.

The Proverbs 31 woman had a “BFF”.

Lets continue our “profile peeking” and see if she has a “best friend.”

When I was a teenager, my mother would get me so mad because I couldn’t have anyone as a friend till she met their parents and they had to have high standards and morals.

They say, “Birds of a feather, flock together.”  In other words, you hang around with people who look and act the way you want to be.

Prov.31:26 “She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.”

This Proverbs 31 woman’s “best friend” is WISDOM.

This virtuous woman, keeps company with her God.

Do you SEEK His wisdom and guidance?

Do you read His word and spend time in His presence?

How do you expect to be the spouse that God desires for you to be if you put no time INVESTING in your spiritual life?

Who are you keeping company with?

What are the most defining marks of a good and bad woman?  HER TALKING!!

If you hang with people who are sarcastic, harsh and negative, you will be also.

The bible says that if you want to know if someone is a great person, LISTEN to them talk as it will more accurately reveal their character.

The bible says that the tongue can sink ships, it’s uncontrollable, and it can cut to the quick.

Are you CONVICTED by this verse?

You don’t have to struggle over and over again.

The choice is yours to not open your mouth when what you are about to say is not WISE.

This verse 26 says, “…in her tongue is the law of kindness.”

What is the “law of kindness?”

The “law of kindness” is the law of love.

The law of kindness is written in your heart but it shows itself through your tongue.

Wisdom is a commanding POWER in all it says.

Have you ever been in the presence of someone who is so kind to others that they make you feel like you are lacking something?

People like that put me IN CHECK!

It makes me ask myself, “And what’s with you girl?”

They convict you.

Right words in wisdom and kindness command respect.

They are FORCEFUL!!

Is your life shaped by how much God is in your life?

Do you SEEK Gods guidance and support dealing with the things of life.

Who is your “BFF”?

Can you make room for God to take the number one place in your life?

Your spouse and family will LOVE you for that.

His reward for that will be to give you assistance to have the law of kindness and wisdom on your lips.

God wants to be your “BEST FRIEND FOREVER”.

Fighting the good fight and loving it!!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

BE THE LIFE OF THE PARTY

Everyone loves to be around the “life of the party” or the one with a good hearty laugh.

I remember seeing an interview with the famous actor “Billy Crystal”.  The interviewer asked him about his family and his childhood.  He has several brothers and when Crystal was asked what his biological brothers thought of his talent as a comedian he said, “They are far more funny than I am.”  At that point the interviewer told him that it must be a riot at Christmas when they are all together.  Crystal laughed and said it was where he gets his material and his inspiration from.

Once again lets be a “profile peeker” and dissect the Proverbs 31 woman to see what she is made of.

Prov.31:25 “Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.”

The first word that is used here is “strength”, which in Hebrew means a force, security, majesty, praise, boldness, might and power.

She was strong mentally, physically and emotionally.

Her husband knew that she was up to the task of being a GOOD wife and to be the mother of his children.

Are you strong in those areas, or do you show your frustration to your husband and his children.

Do you START complaining, criticizing, yelling, crying and retaliating?

Strength is a clothing that gives you an opportunity to show diligent labor and strenuous efforts to be the best mother and wife.

In our society today, we are finding that our YOUNG ADULTS do not want to get married.  When asked why, their response is that they don’t want a marriage like their parents had.

Gods precious Holy Spirit is there to help you with those emotions.

The Holy Spirit is a gentlemen, and you have to LISTEN for his tugging in your heart to not express something that you will be embarrassed about later.

Thank God that He loves us so much, He doesn’t want us to destroy our marriage or our children.

The next word “honor” in Hebrew means magnificence that is an ornament or splendor.  It is beauty, excellency, glorious, and goodly.

This virtuous woman does not allow folly or sin to ruin her GODLY reputation.

Do you have a holy life in conduct, tongue and heart?

The last part of this verse is excellent: “…she shall rejoice in time to come.”

The word “rejoice” in Hebrew means to laugh, play, and make merry.

In other bible versions, they interpret the word “rejoice” as LAUGH.

This virtuous woman must have been very easy to be around because she was playful.

Life is not all about doing, but BEING.  That is, being joyful!

Are you sometimes a “stick in the mud”?

Are you many times not fun to be around?

Maybe you keep a clean house, love your husband, educate your children, but you are just a big KILLJOY!

You don’t know how to have fun!

This virtuous woman has taken care of others so she has a CLEAN conscience and the praises from those she has served.

Your future happiness depends on diligence and virtue today.

Don’t listen to the lies of the devil.

Put on a big “happy face” and  have fun today!

Someone with a  HAPPY FACE electrifies a whole room.

Your spiritual prescription for today is, put on a smile and get in there and have fun with your hubby and kids.

Fight that good fight with a smile!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

ADDING TO THE FAMILY INCOME

We have all heard about the initiations that go on when you join any type of boys club.  Many times on TV they will sneak cameras in to show some of the torture or hazing that goes on.

As we continue on as a “profile peeker” and watch what the Proverbs 31 woman went through, we find a very industrious, hardworking woman.

Prov.31:24  “She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.”

This woman manufactures articles and runs a business.

Her efforts and industry, ADD to the family income.

It takes time to set up a business because you have to develop a strong client base.

She had to keep her INTEGRITY while trying to enter into an industry that was probably led mainly by male manufacturers.

Probably most women would not have attempted it because of the old saying that a woman has to be twice as good as a man to receive half as much credit.

Not this Proverbs 31 woman.  She knew that not all men had the “boys club” mentality and she guarded her heart against any bitterness.

She trusted God by praying He would show her how to be effective as she sharpened her skills and persevered.

By faith, she rested in the knowledge that she had done ALL that God has shown her to do.

If you take great pains to prosper now that you are capable, you will have the pleasure and joy of the increase later on in life.

Are you doing everything you can NOW for your spouse and family?

Are you trying to use your talents and abilities now to further the kingdom of God?

Prov.30:25 “The ants are a people not strong, yet they prepare their meat in the summer.”

The virtuous woman, just like the ant, builds up her nest in the summer to prepare ahead.

Prov.6:6 “Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise.”

What are the ways of the ant that we are to consider?

1.)  In vs.6, they are intelligent and wise.

2.)  In vs.7, they work without being forced to by a guide, overseer or ruler.

3.)  In vs.8, they collect food in the proper season.

Even though there are times that blessings come unexpectedly, there is no substitute for hard work.

This virtuous woman was faithful in the “little.”

Luke 19:17 “…because thou hast been faithful in a very little, have thou authority over ten cities.

Jesus had left three men with money to invest.  Only one of the three invested wisely and earned a 100% return on the money.

Jesus commended the one that had received the best return.

Are you committed to working hard for Jesus?

Hard work is how we PROVE that we are ready to be used by God.

Give it your all!   You go girl!!!

You’re not letting the devil stop you are you????

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

WHAT A PROUD HUSBAND LOOKS LIKE

On 9/16/08, Michael Reilly wrote a piece for Discovery News.  In the South Pacific Ocean, on the island of Tongatapu, there are seven giant boulders made of coral.  Matthew Hornback of the University of Texas, Austin, and a team of researchers discovered the boulders and are baffled by how they got there. What baffles him is that Tongatapu is as flat as a pancake and here are seven boulders as big as a bus sitting hundreds of meters inland, and 66 feet above sea level.  These boulders are bigger than deposits made by Krakatau’s tsunami which inundated the island of Java in 1883.  That tsunami was up to 130 feet high but those boulders weighed 600 metric tons.  By comparison, these boulders in Tongatapu are 1,600 metric tons.  Jose Borrerros of ASR Research says, that the giant-ness of the wave proposed here hasn’t been seen in human time.  Science cannot be sure what caused 7 mega-giant boulders to end up on that island, hundreds of feet inland and 66 feet above sea level.

Sure God knows exactly how they got there.

As I read this and compared it to what we have been studying about the Proverbs 31 woman, it was a PARALLEL to her Godly works.

Once again, lets be a “profile peeker” and see what we can find out about this virtuous woman.

For Prov.31:23 “Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.”

For a man to sit at the gate was a high honor; it represented wisdom and success.

You could not be a FOOL and sit at the gates.

We build our husbands up with our work when we believe this passage and begin to act on it in faith.

This husbands reputation and status in verse 23, was due to the fact that his wife knew her role was to be productive and faithful, which she did WELL.

Prov.12:4 “A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.”

What do you think other men will think of this man who is married to a woman who is rottenness in his bones?

Do you wear a CROWN or do you make your husband ashamed with his friends and family?

How about around your friends and family; do you shame him?

Men NEED personal freedom and peace of mind.

Your talents, treasures, tongue, and wise use of time glorifies him.

When you glorify your husband, you glorify GOD.

Woman who resent Godly characteristics are slothful, rebellious and prideful.

Submission is the Godly doing GOD through self-discipline and self-sacrifice for the glory of another.

Proverbs also talks about woman that have their husbands sexually starved and frustrated which leads to adultery because of the wife’s selfishness.

Prov.5:19-20 “Let her be as the loving doe and a pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love…”

A great wife can make a below average man look great or reduce him to nothing.

God desires wives to partner with him in building a GODLY mega-giant.

If you have the character traits of the virtuous woman, you can build up a man.

Is your husband HONORED for marrying you?

Do you fear the Lord?  The fear of the Lord is what gives you the incentive to be a perfect wife.

Your love for God and desire to NOT QUENCH the Holy Spirit is what will cause you to strive to be the woman God wants you to be.

Remember that it is said, “Behind every great man, there is a great woman.”

Are your failures exposed?

Do you GUARD your spouse’s Christian walk?

Do you COMFORT your spouse’s heart?

Do you build your spouse’s mind?

What can you do to make your husband GREATER in the future?

Start today; start right now!!

Fighting the good fight and loving it!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

 PERSONAL AND HOME APPEARANCE TEST

Have you ever looked through a magazine and see a picture of a beautiful master bedroom.  This room is gorgeously decorated with an opening off to the side.  In that side section, you usually will find that is comfortably decorated with a “love seat” and table.  This room is called a “Parents Retreat”.  This side section, yet open to the master bedroom with no doors, is a place for the parents to sit and relax.

We will continue as a “profile peeker” and learn more about the Proverbs 31 woman.

Prov.31:22 “She makes herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.”

This implies she makes coverings for her bed; and she is clothed in fine apparel.

This woman knows that both her home appearance and her personal appearance are important to her husband.

Do you ignore or neglect either one of these areas?

If you ignore either one of these areas, you are SHOWING fraud, laziness and disrespect to your husband.

I hope you have figured that out!  Before marriage he expected these areas to be taken care of.

Do you need a course in “clutterology” or need a visit from “Merry Maids?”

Whatever it takes girls, let’s just get it done!

The virtuous woman keeps an inviting atmosphere in her bedroom and all through her house she decorates elegantly.

I have heard that a bedroom should look ROMANTIC, which emphasizes to your husband the importance of intimacy.

Mine looks a bit like Hawaii, which to us is a romantic place.

If you do not know how to decorate, COPY.   Yes, copy!

Look at magazines or ask a friend to help you.

The next thing this virtuous woman did in this verse is, she dressed herself well.

You definitely do not have to be RICH to dress nice.

You get basic items and you just add to them items or colors.

Add jewelry, scarfs, hats, shoes, purses, belts and jackets or sweaters.

People who dress mannequins do these tricks.  SO CAN YOU!!

Women who are too lazy to fulfill their God given calling, use “false humility” to dress dull and drab.

You were created for your husband so you must maintain your attractiveness.

1Cor.11:7 “…the woman is the glory of the man.”

You know that when you were dating your husband, you went through great lengths to wear the right outfit.

You spent HOURS trying to get your makeup and hair perfect.

It is defrauding to now put that area at the back of your list.

CASE AND POINT:  I always remember a TV commercial where a wife would not let her husband use the good towels they received as wedding presents.  He asked her,  “Who are you saving them for, your next husband?”

Can I get a little CRUDDY here girls and bring it home?  If your marriage is getting a little dull, fix up your bedroom and yourself for your husband before another woman does!!!!!!

Unfortunately, even in CHRISTIAN marriages the divorce rate is the same, 50%.

Can we change that number with the Holy Spirit as our guide.

YES!!!

Start right now!!

Fighting the good fight and loving it!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

YOU NEED YOUR SPOUSE

Beware of living independently of one another!  Sure, you’re both busy.  Sometimes, however, busy people build their lives around activities, only to find themselves, years later, all alone.  Such people are so imprisoned by selfishness and a failure to take risks, they live independently of the person whom God has sovereignly given them to share life with.

So what can you do today?  Well, how about a project for you and your mate to complete after dinner tonight?

List on a clean sheet of paper, five to ten specific ways you need your mate.  C’mon now, work at this! Don’t list any of the “vanilla” stuff—laundry, paycheck, meals, and, oyes, sex (unless that would really surprise your mate!).

Once you do that, here are two ways to express your need of your husband or wife (feel free to creatively move beyond these two suggestions).  Using your list, compose a letter expressing your need of your mate.  Or, take a long walk and use the time to share the ways you need him or her.

Above all, do it right—don’t just read your list!  A tender touch and eye-to-eye expression of this will make it more meaningful.  Hold her hand as you read your letter to her.

You really do need your mate.

NOTE:  This article is from the book Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

Overcoming Discouragement

We all face times of discouragement in our marriages and families.  So what do we need to overcome discouragement?  What should we do?

First, be truthful with God.  I’ve found that I never fool God through my lofty prayers for the missionaries in Africa, when deep inside I’m hurting.  God is able to handle your emotions of disappointment and being disheartened.  Be honest!

Are you discouraged about a child who rarely reaches your expectations?  Tell God about it.  Disheartened about your mate and an unresolved issue that habitually occurs?  God knows about it already, but pour it out.  Disillusioned with a friend?  Then pray.  Are you questioning God—His fairness, your circumstances, or your unanswered prayers?  Get alone and share your grief  with the One who knows you best.  It’s normal to get discouraged, but it’s not acceptable to stay discouraged.

Second, find the source of your discouragement.  Sometimes it’s a goal that you didn’t attain...again.  Or the problem may be a cutting remark of a friend, the feeling that you’re carrying this heavy burden alone, or the lack of approval by an important person in your life.

By isolating the source of my discouragement, many times I’ve found that I had placed my hope in the wrong person or in the wrong place.  On other occasions, I’ve judged my response to be quite normal— and because  I can’t quit, I’ve need to work through my all-to-human desire to lose hope and give up.

Third, with a heart of faith, look beyond your circumstances and your emotions to a God who will renew you day by day.  Realize that God uses hardship to perfect your faith (Rom.5:1-10).  And recall what He told a disheartened group of Israelites, “Do not be afraid nor dismayed because of this great multitude (or in your case, this great challenge),for the battle is not yours, but God’s” 2Chron.20:15.

My friend, the tomb is empty!  Jesus Christ is alive!  And He is the One who can lift up your heavy hands or your burdened heart.

Barbara and I have concluded that God  has given us a life that will bring occasional times of discouragement and disappointment.  We love the way Philip Yancey put it, “The alternative to disappointment with God seems to be disappointment without God.”  You can handle the uncertainty of life only through a tough, resilient faith in a God who knows what He is doing.

NOTE:  This article is from Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.