Archive | Uncategorized RSS feed for this section


27 Jan


With all the temptations and sensual temptations that come your husband’s way, what should a wife do?

In Shaunti Feldhahn’s book “For Women Only”, she gives the following suggestion on what a wife should do.

I have added the scriptures to enhance your learning.


Your spouse needs your steadfast prayers more than anything else.

Praying for your spouse is part of your duty as a “helpmeet.”

1Tim.2:1 “Therefore I exhort first of all that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks be made for all men.”


Accept the struggle he has with lust and encourage him rather than freak out and conclude the worst about him.

Prov.2:2 “…apply thine heart to understanding.”

 Prov.2:11 “Discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee.”

The more understanding you are, the more loved he will feel.


Men don’t need a critique, but an encourager.

Jude 1:16 “These are…complainers, walking after their own lusts; and their mouth speaketh great swelling words…”


Ask what you can do to help.

Put yourself on his team to help him win this fight.


Gen.2:18 “And God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”


Are you on some mans rolodex because of how you dress?

Because women aren’t visual, they many times don’t really understand what they are doing to the men around them.

Are you cluttering up a good husbands mind and tempting him to dishonor his wife?

2Cor.7:1 “”…dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God”

 1Tim.2:9-10 “And women should be…quiet and sensible in manner and clothing…”

The items listed above that are according to God’s commands, are not hard to do.

Isn’t your husband worth it?

Didn’t you marry him “for better or worst?”

Esther was called and intelligently designed “for such a time as this” to keep her people from being destroyed.

What about you?

Maybe you were designed “for such a time like this” to be used by God to be a testimony to your husband and family.

How powerful!!!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.


26 Jan


High school chemistry taught me a very valuable lesson: When certain substances come into close contact, they can cause a chemical reaction.  I proved that fact during my senior year of high school, when I dropped a jar full of pure sodium into a river  and nearly blew up a bridge below!

I’ve learned since then that many people don’t respect the laws of chemistry, any more than I did as a teenager.  They mix volatile ingredients without giving much thought to the consequences–just as David did in the sordid account of Bathsheba.  Just the mere sight of her caused him to start a life down a very slippery slope.  It can be that simple.  I’ve discovered that many married people don’t understand that a chemical reaction can occur with someone other than their mates.

Don’t misunderstand–I’m not talking merely about sexual attraction.  I’m referring to a reaction of two hearts, the chemistry of two souls.  This is emotional adultery–an intimacy with the opposite sex outside of marriage.  When two people begin discussing intimate struggles, doubts or feelings, they may be sharing their souls in a way that God intended exclusively for marriage partners.  Emotional adultery is friendship with the opposite sex that progresses too far.  In most cases, adulterous relationships start as casual relationships at work, school, even church.

So guard your heart!

NOTE:  This article came from “Family Life and Marriage Bible” by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.


25 Jan


Question #1.  How specifically can I build up my spouse–especially when I feel critical?

Answer #1.  I often look to Proverbs 18:21 as a good reminder of the power of words.  It says, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.”   It’s a simple choice–you can either choose to give life with your words, or give death.  This is especially true when it comes to your spouse.

Sometimes it’s easy, even automatic, to pick out wrong things your spouse does.  But how about this instead?  The next time you start to criticize your spouse for doing something wrong, think about the last time you praised him or her for something he or she did right.

One word  of caution: don’t falsely flatter your spouse, or insincerely attempt to compliment him or her.  It is better to find two or three things that you honestly admire than to lavish praise that is undeserved.

We all need someone on our team, someone who’s pulling for us during the tough times.  There’s a special comfort and security in knowing your spouse will cheer for you, even when the world is dragging you down.

NOTE:  This question and answer came from the book “Family Life and Marriage Bible” by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.


24 Jan


The following information is a continuation from the book “For Women Only” by Shaunti Feldhahn.

Shaunti has researched and done surveys to assist her on accurate information.

Temptation Steps

STEP #1.  For every man, sensual images and thoughts arrive involuntarily.

Woman feel all the trouble starts because “men have roving eyes.”

The truth is that there are roving, under-dressed women—and men can’t not notice their existence.

STEP #2.  Every man’s involuntary physical impulse is to enjoy the feelings associated with these thoughts and images.

When a sensual image enters a man’s mind, it brings a rush of sensual pleasure.

One man interviewed said that forcing him to end that thought is sometimes as difficult as it would be to stop in the middle of sex.

STEP #3.  But every man can make a choice—to dwell on the images and thoughts, or to dismiss them.

This choice is the critical distinction between temptation and sin.

He can tear down the thought immediately and “take every thought captive.”



REASSURANCE #1.  His temptation is not always primarily sexual.

It is pleasurable to look at that good-looking woman, like looking at a beautiful painting.

REASSURANCE #2.  Every man is different.

Every man experiences a different level of visual temptation.

REASSURANCE #3.  It’s not because of you.

“If men could, most would shut off their temptation to look at other women in a second.  We loathe this temptation as much as our wives do.”

REASSURANCE #4.  This doesn’t impact his feelings for you!

With his wife, he has a deep and long meaning relationship.

Most men would make an observation about a beautiful woman but would be offset by the fact that they would never risk losing their wife.

As I read what Shaunti Feldhahn’s surveys discovered, it really gave me compassion for men because of the burden of their temptations.

It is like telling women never to be emotional, when most women are highly emotional compared to a man.

In God’s word, we can see where Jesus has left help for men in their temptations.

Gal.5:16  “This I say then, Walk in the (Holy) Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.”

The Apostle Paul also talks about his temptations and the resolution.

1Cor.9:27  “But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection:  lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.”

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.


23 Jan


I have talked to many wives and unfortunately there are many who get a wrong attitude after marriage.

Wives mention that it is all right for them to let their looks, weight, and manner of dress deteriorate.

Many wives, especially Christian wives feel that they are just fine the way they look.

Many Christian wives say, “Any way if my husband loves God, he needs to be content with me as I am.”

Or “Let him take his concerns to God.”

Or “Anyway, beauty is only skin deep.”

Or “God hates vanity.”

Or “If I am overweight, I’m suppose to worship God and not my body.”

Or “God looks on the inside, and so should my husband.  Not the outside.”

It all sounds good girls, but it is not going to work.  Listen up!

 I am going to read you some comments from a book called “For Women Only” by Shaunti Feldhahn.

Men are visual and we will first talk about two compulsions men have:

COMPULSION #1 – A man can’t not want to look.


A survey was taken asking men what their reaction would be if an attractive women with a great body would walk in the room.

98% of the men said they would be attracted.  Only 2% of men were not attracted by a woman with a great body.

These were happily married believers.

Even when they tried not to look, the power of the desire to look was overwhelming.

COMPULSION #2 – A man has a mental rolodex of sensual images.

They are images that have been involuntarily burned in their brains just by living in today’s culture—images that can arise without warning.

These images can be of anything:  the memory of a Playboy magazine, or a recollection of a shapely woman.

These images often arise in the brain without warning, even if your husband doesn’t want them there.

87% of men say these images pop up in their heads whether they are happily married or not.

As the national survey showed, this temptation is common to every man, even if he is devoted to his wife.

Temptations are not sin.  It is what you do with those temptations that is the issue.

I know as a wife you might be thinking that this information is a lot to stomach.

I have placed this information for wives to realize that your appearance is so very important to your husband.

Your looks are high on the list of why he married you.

You should always be dressed in a modest but attractive manner.

He wants to be proud of his beautiful wife’s good looks.

So put down your little hobbies and freshen up before he comes home or you come home.

You will be pleasing God as well.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed


22 Jan


  1. Commit yourself to repair it.
  1. Stop blaming, criticizing, or arguing.
  1. Start Changing.

A.)    Ask the Holy Spirit what areas you need to change to be a Godly wife.

Hebrews 13:5-6 “For God has said, “I will never fail you.  I will never forsake you.”  That is why we can say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper, so I will not be afraid.”


B.)    Listen to your husband, even if it hurts.

Most of the time they are really begging their wife to change in certain areas.

It is a privilege to find out what is in your husbands heart and mind.

Do you ignore your husband when he is trying to let you know what bothers him?

Remember that he loves you.

Out of all the girls he may have known, you are the one he chose to marry.

He married you to have fun with for the rest of his life.

1Peter 5:6 “So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and in His good time He will honor you.”


1Cor.7:4-5 “The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband also gives authority over his body to his wife.  So do not deprive each other of sexual relations.”

  1. Treat him with love and respect.

Ephesians 5:33 “…she must respect her husband.”


Statistics show that when husbands are asked what means the most to them in their marriage, they say the need for their wives to respect them.


Husbands say that as much as sex is so important to them, respect is even more important.


John 13:34-35 “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another.”  “By this all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”


Ephesians 4:29 “Don’t use foul or abusive language.  Let everything you say be good and helpful, so your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.”


If you are using abusive language, you need to stop right now.  It is a habit that you CAN control.

This kind of language grieves the Holy Spirit!


1Peter 4:8 “Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins.”


A wife is suppose to be a soft pillow for her husband to lay his head on!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.


21 Jan


A bandage is a piece of soft material that covers and protects an injured part of the body.

How do we find a bandage big enough and strong enough for an injured heart?

All of us at some time or another have been hurt in our marriage which causes us to wonder if we will ever recover.

It doesn’t even have to be anything very severe, it just had a hurting effect because it was important to you.

Here are some helpful things you can do to protect that injured heart and start the healing process.

  1. Commit yourself to repair it.

Spouses many times get so wrapped up on revenge that they don’t stop to think about ending the arguments.

  • Partner with the Holy Spirit to save that marriage because God hates divorce.

Mal.2:16 “For I hate divorce!” says the LORD (Yahweh), the God of Israel.  “It is as cruel as putting on a victim’s bloodstained coat,” says the LORD Almighty (El Shadday).  “So guard yourself; always remain loyal…” (NLT)

 In the NKJV, it is translated as this:

“…He hates divorce, For it covers one’s garment with violence.”


  1. Stop blaming, criticizing or arguing.

We have a tendency to not see what we do wrong, but only have eyes to see what our spouse is up to.

Prov.17:14 “Beginning a quarrel is like opening a floodgate, so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.”

 Rom.12:17  “Never pay back evil for evil to anyone.  Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable.”

 Prov.12:18 “Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing.”

You don’t have to fall for the devils devices in your marriage.

In the Song of Solomon, God calls them little foxes.

Catch all the foxes, those little foxes, before they ruin the vineyard of love, for the grapevines are blossoming!  Song of Solomon 2:15 NLT

Does your spouse have annoying little habits that sneak into your marriage and start pulling it apart?

Every marriage is plagued with the little foxes that try to sabotage your marital intimacy.

The Lord uses His truths as bandages to strengthen our marital relationship.

Allow the Holy Spirit to start the healing process.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.