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TIPS FOR FRAZZLED MOMS

5 Jun

TIPS FOR FRAZZLED MOMS

One of the greatest experiences in life is the birth of your children.

I read a sign once and it said, “ When your kids are born, you can’t wait till they can walk and talk.  Once they learn to walk and talk, you keep telling them to “sit down and shut up”.

In Titus the topic of children is brought up.

Titus 2:4 “…that they teach the young women to love their children.”

 Once again, we are left with the thought of why women have to learn to love their children when it should come naturally.

That is because it doesn’t come or stay NATURALLY, it is something to be taught and practiced.

No mother will say I don’t love my child but they will all tell you that their child has wore them to a frazzle.

The love that is discussed in Titus, is an UNCONDITIONAL love.

Vacuuming, dusting, cooking and acting like a taxi driver to your child is showing love but it needs to go further.

Your first duty is to make your home life ATTRACTIVE to your husband and children.

Life with your children is a living thing, that means that as your children age, it will change.

There are times that you can have so much fun as a family then it is like tug-of-war each member pulling in a different direction.

Jesus commanded us to love one another.

He is not asking you to do something he has not done HIMSELF.

Whenever you are having trouble with your “love issues”, just move closer to Jesus.

Our job is to be the peacemaker in the home.

Not only are we to be peacemakers, we are to make others be at PEACE.

Jesus said, “ Blessed are the peacemakers…”

CASE AND POINT:  As my children were growing up, my husbands favorite words were “pick your battles.”  I am a disciplinarian and every time a rule was broken, I felt the children needed to suffer the consequences.  He felt differently.  It was hard for me but I was able to see the advantage it was to the family by not making everything a big deal.

It kept a lot of peace in the home.

Not everyone has perfect children, so that is why in Titus, we are told to love our kids.

Every family has at least one child that “listens to a different drummer.”

We can’t make the whole family miserable over one child.

Make sure you get ENOUGH sleep at night or take a nap.

Also, make sure that you get plenty of spiritual rest.

Make sure that you keep your spouse your TOP priority.

If you find yourself upset with your spouse, the chances are that you will end up irritated with your children.

Here are some suggestions that will help you as a parent:

  1. Understand that you are not alone.

God is with you to help you.

2.   Take an inventory as to why you are weary.

You might have to much on your plate.

3.  Hire people to help you or swap chores.

Hiring out will give you extra time or rest.

Exchanging days where you will keep a friends kids and they will keep your is always comforting.

God knows what you go through and the help that you need.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

REACTIONS WHEN THINGS GO WRONG

4 Jun

REACTIONS WHEN THINGS GO WRONG

I am sure that if we did a survey and asked wives if they loved their husbands, most would say, “Of Course!”

In Titus, it is one of the commands that all women learn to “love their husbands.”

These verses are here for a reason, and I am going to assume it is because we have a lot to be taught.

Have you ever thought about how much you really love your husband and does your affection show?

Do you share dreams?

Do you still hold hands?

Can you focus on the good and forget the bad things that have happened?

When things go wrong do you scream and pout?

Your husband is human!

Do you really love the man that God has given you?

Then that means that your husband needs “unconditional acceptance” from you.

Accept him for who and what he is, including all his imperfections.

The love that God has for Jesus is the model for love in our marriage relationship.

If you serve your spouse out of duty, with no affection, it would be very offensive to him.

Sex is one of a man’s most important NEEDS!!

I will say that again; Sex is your husbands most important NEED from you.

This is the most important thing on learning to “love your husband.”

Sex may be last on your list, but as a wife, you are to look at every thing through his perspective.  This insight of his perspective will help you with decision making.

Do you resist intimacy?

Do you act uninterested to his sexual gestures?

Your husband is not dumb, he knows when he is being brushed off by you.

He also has feelings and has to deal with rejection when it comes to sex.

Rejection in a man causes an array of emotions since this is such an important part of his life.

You have just torn him at the very center of his being, so now his response will be isolation.

Forget the mopping, the meal, the kids or anything else.  This guy needs a queen who is going to make him feel like a king.

He married you cause he thought you qualified.

Was he right or wrong?

Everyone loves the end of Cinderella but if you remember, it has a very romantic ending.

Well the shoe fit, that is why he married you.

But what happened to the romance??

He is still waiting.

Cherish him the way God planned it to be, “For better or worse.”

You will be thrilled at what it will do for your marriage!!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

A SOUND MIND TO MANAGE MARRIAGE

3 Jun

A SOUND MIND TO MANAGE MARRIAGE

We will continue on with the topic of “not blaspheming God’s word.”

In Titus we are told, “…to be sober…”

Titus 2:4 “That they may teach the young women to be sober…”

 The word “sober” in the Greek means TO MAKE OF SOUND MIND.

The dictionary says, “dignified and somber in manner or character and committed to keeping promises.”

This had to be very important or it would not be in the bible.

To have a “sound mind” is a 24 hour job.

Joyce Meyers wrote a great book called “Battlefield of the Mind.”  The book teaches you to arm yourself with, the Word of God, praise, prayer, and other powerful spiritual weapons.

I will be using some of the comments from that book for this post.

Your actions are a direct result of your thoughts.

You will have a negative life if you have negative thoughts.

If you renew your mind with God’s word in Romans 12:2 we are promised ,”…the good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”

 Many of the problems we experience in life are due to problems that are rooted in our thinking pattern.

Do you accept all the thinking Satan OFFERS you?

Don’t ever give up, because you are changing little by little every day.

Your life will change for the BETTER  as you change your mind.

2Cor.10:4,5 (MSG) “The tools of our trade aren’t for marketing or manipulation, but they are for demolishing that entire massively corrupt culture.  We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ.”

 The devil argues with us; he offers us theories and reasonings.

  1. You are engaged in a war.
  2. Your enemy is Satan.
  3. The mind is the battlefield.
  4.  The devil works diligently to set up strongholds in your mind.
  5.   He does it through strategy and deceit (through well-laid plans and deliberate deception).
  6.  He is in no hurry; he takes his time to work out his plan.

How to flow in the mind of Christ:

  1. Think positive thoughts.
  2. Be God-minded.
  3. Be “God-Loves–Me” minded.
  4. Have an exhortative mind.
  5. Develop a thankful mind.
  6. Be Word-minded.

Rom.8:6  “Nothe mind of the flesh (which is sense and reason without the Holy Spirit) is death (death that comprises all the miseries arising from sin, both here and hereafter).  But the mind of the (Holy) Spirit is life and (soul) peace (both now and forever).

 God wants obedience, not sacrifice.

Obedience and disobedience: Both have CONSEQUENCES.

Bring every thought into captivity to Christ.

Would you rather LIVE with worry, doubt, confusion, depression, anger, and feelings of condemnation?

If you suffer from negative thoughts, God wants to help you.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

REWARDS FOR THE OLDER WIFE

2 Jun

REWARDS FOR THE OLDER WIFE

A few decades ago there was a song telling about the different stages of life.  After each stage, Peggy Lee would sing the words, “Is that all there is?”

Those words indicate that after each stage in life, there was a big disappointment for her.

This is where a lot of women over 50 are at after they have raised their children, been a responsible wife and worked through the issues of life.

In Titus, Paul is talking to the older women specifically.

Titus 2;3 “The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness…”

 This is your time to ENJOY the rewards of maturity.

Child bearing and monthly period discomfort are some of the areas God has just relieved you from.

You have lived in the “rat race of life”, up to this point.

Now you can LIVE for God, your husband, and yourself.

Charles Spurgeon, a famous Christian preacher who brought revival to England said these words, “And how beautifully can an aged Christian woman, by her kindly example, be a teacher of good things!  There is no more charming sight under heaven, I think, than that of an elderly Christian lady, whose words and whose whole life are such as becometh the gospel of Christ.”

In those days, I am sure that the average life span for women at that time was under 50 years.

No matter what you or anyone else thinks of you, Gods opinion is the only one that should count in your life.

God has five commands for the older woman which are not suggestions.  He commands them of us.

  1. Live holy.  (vs.3)
  2. Be not slanderers.  (vs.3)
  3. Not given to wine.  (vs.3)
  4. Be teachers of good things.  (vs.3)
  5. Teach the young women.  (vs. 4)

The word “slander” in the Greek is pronounced diabolos  which means DEVIL.

Every time you gossip about somebody, you are partaking in the devils perfect plan.

It is our responsibility to prepare this next generation with GODLY womanhood.

I am not saying it, the word of God is saying it.

Women, if we do not do this, then we will fail to be what God wants us to be.

Are you more mature and serene with this NEW season of life?

Are you more well poised and charming?

Most “boomers” now days are mentally fruitful and full of energy.

Don’t let the devil lure you into his party;  the PITY PARTY.

We all watch TV and see so many items geared for the “boomers.”

Everyone wants to stay young forever but it will not happen.

Let’s enjoy  ourselves and do the things God has called us to do.

Psa.92:14 “They shall still bear fruit in old age;They shall be fresh and flourishing.”

This is a promise from God, but you have to start today in order to be fresh and flourishing in the future.

You have a lot to give.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help make your marriage a success.

AVOIDING MARITAL MISTAKES

1 Jun

AVOIDING MARITAL MISTAKES

Blaspheme is any insulting remark or curse, even attributing to Satan the works of the Word of God.

You might be a wife and you are telling yourself that you would never blaspheme Gods Word.

Let’s search the scriptures and see what they say about wives.

Titus 2:3-5 “The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”

This is exciting that the Apostle Paul wants to give us some clear guidance so that we don’t make mistakes.

He wants us to have a fruitful life and not blaspheme Gods Word.

Different magazines, like Forbes, will print the list of the top 100 most powerful women.  The list will be of women who hold a political office, presidents, chairmen and CEO’s of large companies.

None of these women were noted to be “powerful” or “influential” because of their work as a mother or wife.

We can’t take this list lightly!!

God has given us, who will read and study his word, insight into what God considers to be “influential” and “powerful”.

First he tells the older woman what they should be doing.

Titus 2:3 “Guide older women into lives of reverence so they end up as neither gossips or drunks, but models of goodness.”  (MSG)

These are some pretty harsh words for the older women.

Notice that it says to be “models of goodness”.   Goodness is expected of both the younger and older women.

All women, younger and older, are expected to practice reverence.  They are not to be gossipers or drunkards but practice the goodness of God in their lives.

No woman is exempt from these commands.

What makes a woman successful and significant according to the world, is entirely different from what Gods view is.

Be alert!!  You will find yourself leaning towards what the world thinks if you do not keep your mind in God’s word.

That is BLASPHEME!!

That is BLASPHEME of God’s Word!!

Titus 2:4-5 “By looking at them, the younger women will know how to love their husbands and children, be virtuous and pure, keep a good house, be good wives.”  (MSG)

CASE AND POINT:  I remember as a new Christian, I was thrilled to see this scripture.  I felt like I was the only one on earth having trouble loving my husband and children.  I thought it should come automatically as a women.  I was trying to keep up with my Christian ministries, work a full time job, take and pick-up one newborn from a sitter and another one from pre-school.  I was spiritually drowning.  I realized there were going to be times in life when I would want to resign from being a wife or mother.  Obviously, God strengthened me and pulled me through since I have now been serving Him over 35 years and loving it.

If you are feeling guilty about motherhood or your job as a wife, don’t.

Jesus says he cares for you, and the Holy Spirit is there to strengthen   you.

Titus 2:5b 

…We don’t want anyone looking down on God’s Message because of their behavior.”

This is our moment to shine girls!!

We become the “Queen of God’s heart.”

This is where He becomes so pleased with us.

This is where God places us into His magazines!  All through His word he talks about rewarding us for doing good.

Fighting the good fight and loving it!!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

BUILDING YOUR MATE DURING THE STORM

31 May

BUILDING YOUR MATE DURING THE STORM

Nehemiah 4:2

The storms of life are coming, and believe us, they will affect you and your mate differently.  So how can you turn toward one another instead of away from each other?  There are many ways to do this:

First, recognize that suffering will come.  James 1:2 says, “Count it all joy when you fall into various trials.”  The passage doesn’t say if you encounter them.  Anticipate possible challenges and freely share your feelings about suffering.  If you have a plan and know biblically how to view adversity, then it won’t cause you to go to war with one another.  Indeed, you can turn troubles and trials into something purposeful, meaningful, and an opportunity for growth.

Second, give your mate the freedom to process what’s going on in his life.  Don’t expect him or her to flip a switch and just deal with the problem and move on.  It’s not usually that easy.  If your mate’s suffering doesn’t diminish after a reasonable time, resist the temptation to make such statements as, “Snap out of it and trust God!” or, “Quit acting like a big baby!” or, “We’ve spent enough time talking about this.  I think it’s time we just put the whole matter to rest.”  We become like Christ only by going through a lifelong process.  Trials and tragedies should force us to turn to God, but one person may take longer than another to come to that point.

Third, find out what your mate needs.  Often it is best simply to say, “I want to meet your needs and be the best possible partner I can be, but at times I don’t know how.  Would you tell me how you want me to love and encourage you in this situation?”  Talk about your feelings and give your spouse the freedom to feel whatever.

Fourth, build your marital foundation on Christ.  Jesus said, “Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock” (Matt.7:24-25).  When you build your home on Christ, you place it on the only foundation that can withstand trouble, trials, and tribulation.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

NOTE:  This article came from the book Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

LET US RISE UP AND BUILD

30 May

LET US RISE UP AND BUILD

In his Pulitzer Prize winning book, Profiles in Courage, John F. Kennedy wrote, “Some men showed courage throughout their lives; others sailed with the wind until the decisive moment when their conscience and events propelled them into the center of the storm.”  Twenty-five hundred years ago in the land of Persia, the terrible plight of his people propelled a man named Nehemiah into the center of the storm.

Nehemiah risked his life by sharing his burden with his boss, a powerful, pagan king.  When, asked to  state his objective, Nehemiah replied, “Send me to Judah, to the city of my fathers’  tombs, that I may rebuild it (Neh.2:5).  The king granted his bold request.

Weeks later, when Nehemiah stood before the forlorn inhabitants of Jerusalem, he cried out, “You see the distress that we are in, how Jerusalem lies waste and its gates are burned with fire.  Come and let us build the wall of Jerusalem, that we may no longer be a reproach.”  And the people responded heartily, “Let us rise up and build” (Neh.2:17,18).

Are the walls of your marriage lying waste or burned with fire?  Does anything about your union feel like a reproach?  If so, take of Nehemiah’s courage, rise up, and rebuild those walls!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

NOTE:  This article is from the book Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.