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6 Oct


A TV talk show host was interviewing one of Hollywood’s biggest male stars, a man known for his prowess with the opposite sex.

At one point, the host asked him, “What makes a great lover?”

“Two things,” the actor replied.  “First of all, it is a man who can satisfy one woman over a lifetime.

And second, it is a man who can be satisfied with one woman for a lifetime.”

What a great answer!

The foundation of a strong, romantic marriage is a solid commitment of unconditional love.

Romance is an outward expression of that love.

It is the fire in the fireplace—the warm response of one spouse to another that says, “We may have struggles, but I love you, and everything is okay.  Now, let’s have some fun!”

The easiest way to increase the amount of true romance in your marriage is to build a lasting marriage of oneness and intimacy.

And how do you accomplish that?

You and your mate must commit to meet each other’s physical and emotional needs.

Do that, and you’ll start to make romance an everyday part of your marriage.

NOTE:  This article in the book “Family Life Marriage Bible” by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help make your marriage a success.


5 Oct


Question #1.  How can a young couple best handle the inevitable challenges of the first five years of marriage?

Answer #1.  Some of the more common areas of conflict most couples face early on include: finances, in-laws, spiritual growth together, the roles of husband and wife, where to attend church, and conflict resolution.  Consider a few pointers that will go a long way toward helping you and your spouse handle these challenges:

1.  During your first years of marriage, I’d strongly recommend that you ask a more mature couple to mentor you.

 Habits are formed early in marriage, so why not ask someone who’s a bit further down the road to train both of you.

2.  When  you married, you began a life-long commitment to love and forgiveness.  

Remain committed.  Love always.  Remember,  “Love covers a multitude of sins” (1Pet.4:8).

3.  Your marriage won’t grow without communication and understanding.  

You’ll know you understand your spouse when you can verbally express your mate’s actual needs and desires, and he or she agrees with that expression.  Guys, seek to understand your wives.   Ladies, help him to understand you.

4.  Walk a mile in your mate’s shoes.  

Accept God’s provision, knowing that He has an agenda for your life even through unmet expectations.

5.  Don’t give up on your dreams.  

While all the things you imagined your marriage to be may not come true, God may have a new dream for you.  talk about your dreams.  Then dream together.

NOTE:  This article is from the “Family Life Marriage Bible” by Dennis and Barbara Rainey

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.


4 Oct



THE BIBLE HAS A LOT to say about the benefits of fearing God.

Leviticus 19:14, for example, indicates that a healthy fear of God  will motivate us to care for the needs of the disadvantaged with grace and kindness.

Proverbs 22:4 tells us that fearing God leads us to life, while Proverbs 10:27 tells us that it prolongs life.

And Psalm 145:19 says the Lord will fulfill the desires of those who fear Him.

In the New Testament, we see that the fear of God is the glue that holds our relationships—including our marriages—together.

Ephesians 5:21 tells us that we should be “submitting to one another in the fear of God”. 

I doubt that there is any dispute or problem in marriage that can’t be solved if both spouses properly fear the Lord and mutually honor and value each other out of that reverential respect for who God is.

A marriage should be a relationship in which forgiveness and acceptance are freely expressed because we live our lives in His presence.

In a Christian marriage, three are present: The husband, the wife, and Jesus Christ.

If the husband and wife share a mutual reverence and a holy desire to obey and serve Christ; God will  use that healthy fear to draw the couple closer to each other and closer to Himself.

NOTE:  This article in “Family Life Marriage Bible” by Dennis & Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be successful.


3 Oct

lonely woman


Isolation is the great killer of marriages.

Many marriages continue for years in a state of armed truce.

Competition replaces cooperation and ugly reality dashes dreams as conflict unravels the fabric of love and concern.

The choice to heal those rifts is yours.

Every day, each partner makes choices that result in oneness or in isolation.

Here are three important choices you need to make:

Choice #1:  Resolve to pursue oneness with each other and repent of any isolation that already exists.

Remember, you don’t have to be married a long time to feel isolated.

Choice #2: Resolve to never go to bed angry with one another.

Finda a way to resolve your differences and move towards oneness.

Resentment and oneness cannot coexist.

Choice #3:  Resolve to take time to share intimately with each other.

Allow your spouse into your life.

Ask questions of your spouse and listen patiently.

Learn the art of healthy, transparent communication.

MAKE  THE RIGHT CHOICES and you’ll know love, warmth, acceptance and the freedom of true intimacy and genuine oneness.

Make the wrong choices and you’ll know the quiet desperation of living together but never really touching each other deeply.  As a couple, resolve that you will not allow isolation to set up residence in your marriage.

NOTE:  This articles is from the book “Family Life Marriage Bible” by Dennis & Barbara Rainey

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be successful.


2 Oct

bride and groom


You may have moved out of their house a long time ago, but have you really left your parents behind?

God did not mince words when He instructed a married couple to leave their parents.

The Hebrew word that normally gets translated leave from Gen.2:24 more fully means “to forsake dependence upon,” “lose,” “leave behind,” “release,” and  “let go.”

Centuries later, Jesus addressed this issue when He said that God never intended for anybody—not in-laws, not mother, not father, not children, not friends, not pastors, not employers—to come between a husband and a wife (Matt.19:6).  No one!

After our wedding ceremony, Barbara and I walked down the aisle together, symbolically proclaiming to all witnesses that we had left our parents.

We had forsaken our dependence upon them for our livelihood and emotional support, and were turning now to each other—for the rest of our lives—as the most important persons in our universe.

This public affirmation of our covenant to each other meant, “No relationship on earth, other than my relationship with Jesus Christ and God, is more important to me than the one with my spouse.”

If you or your spouse has not fully left mother and father, begin to discuss how you have failed to leave and what you can do today to truly forsake dependence upon your parents and cleave to one another.

NOTE: This article is from the book, “Family Life Marriage Bible” by Dennis and Barbara Rainey

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help make your marriage successful.


1 Oct

silver and gold


THE DICTIONARY traditionally defines understanding as “the faculty of the human mind by which it…comprehends the ideas which others express and intend to communicate.”

Yet in the Bible, understanding is not just a transfer of information, but empathy for the other person.

Consider Exodus 36:1, which tells how two craftsmen named Bezalel and Aholiab were given divine wisdom and understanding, “to know how to do all manner of work for the service of the sanctuary,” so that they could “do according to all that the Lord has commanded.”

This is a scriptural example of what the Bible refers to as “understanding.”

These men, and the other artisans working under their supervision, were given the divine ability not only to know how to work their magic with gold and silver and leather and beautiful fabrics and thread, but also how to communicate with one another in a way that would move their assignment forward.

Barbara and I have found that this kind of understanding—the kind that goes beyond mere facts to empathize with the other—is essential in building our relationship and family.

When I know that she tries to understand some situation from my perspective (and vice versa), it’s amazing how problems dissipate.

As we make Jesus Christ the Builder of our homes (Psa.127:1), we can begin to see our relationship reflect God’s character.

NOTE: This article is from the book, “Family Life Marriage Bible” by Dennis and Barbara Rainey

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.


30 Sep

man playing with fire


For so many people, Christians included, adultery is the first step out of a marriage.  An emotional or sexual attachment to someone other than your spouse creates intense passions that sabotage trust and steal marital intimacy.  For that reason, God stated emphatically in the Seventh Commandment, “You shall not commit adultery” (Ex.20:14).

Adultery destroys homes and lives.  Proverbs 6:27-29 details the consequences of playing with this kind of fire, “Can a man take fire to his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?  Can one walk on hot coals, and his feet not be seared?  So is he who goes in to his neighbor’s wife; whoever touches her shall not be innocent.”

Adultery, as alluring as it may seem, always fails to live up to its promises.  It pledges excitement and fulfillment, and instead delivers pain and alienation.  Peter Blichington, in his outstanding book Sex Roles and the Christian Family, cites a study by the Research Guild that measured sexual satisfaction.  The guild found that “Compared with the 67% of men and 55% of woman who find marital sex very pleasurable, only 47% of the men and 37 % of the women with extramarital experience rate its sexual aspect very pleasurable.”

The grass is not greener on the other side of the fence!

The glistening highway of adultery is actually a rutted back road littered with loneliness, guilt, and broken hearts.  Adultery supplants loyalty and trust with fear and suspicion.  The consequences are enormous and last for a lifetime.  As my colleague and friend Bob Lepine warns, “No sex outside of marriage is that good!”

Will you commit to emotional and moral fidelity to your spouse, no matter how much you struggle in your marriage?  If so, three steps are critical.

First, maintain a healthy sexual relationship.  Lovingly study your mate to learn what will keep him or her interested and satisfied in your sexual relationship.  Cultivate the fine–and often forgotten—art of romance.  Pursue your spouse with the same creativity and energy that characterized your dating relationship.

Second, guard your heart in relation to the opposite sex.  According to Jesus, the eyes are the doorway to the heart (Matt.6:22, 23)  For this reason, restrict your gaze and refuse the temptation to look longingly at other men or women.  Don’t fantasize about someone else.

Proverbs 4:23 counsels, “Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life.”  Build boundaries around your heart by making yourself accountable to a friend for your secret thoughts.

Third, be honest with your spouse about temptations.  One of the most important practices Barbara and I employed early in our marriage was that of sharing with each other when we experienced temptations.  On more than one occasion I’ve asked her to pray for me because I was struggling with lust.  Once, in our first year of marriage, Barbara shared with me that a certain man was being inappropriately friendly with her.  These confessions can seem risky, but when a husband and wife are committed to each other, they actually help to nurture trust.

As partners in life, we need to protect our fidelity and trust…all the days of our lives.

NOTE:  This article was written by Dennis and Barbara Rainey from Family Life and Marriage Bible.

NOTE:  Every day there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.