LOVE YOUR SPOUSE

MY BARREN WOMB

For women who conceive very easily, it is very hard for them to understand the plight of a woman who is involuntarily childless.

I will cover some statistics from different sources.  Most will come from a chapter in the book called, “Woman: A formula for victorious living” by Lu Ann Bransby.

Nearly 1 out of every 6 couples in the U.S. suffer the anguish of being childless.  For millions it’s a physical problem or hormonal.  About two-thirds of infertility cases can be REVERSED through new medical techniques.

It’s the husband who turns out to have the physical problem in up to 40% of all infertile couples.  Some men have a severe reaction because he falsely believes he is not a complete man since his masculinity is involved.

Infertile couples can pursue other alternatives knowing that God will BLESS every effort they undertake in His name. Many couples clam up about their situation but this is the time that they need to receive from other Christians.  Women should not feel they are a disappointment to their husbands.

Couples who put all their faith and trust in God find their relationship strengthened.  Their situation brings them even closer together.

Some couples become consumed with their infertility.  Their longing for a child swallows up the joy in their lives.  Being childless is not the end of life, health or happiness.

Infertility is NEVER hopeless.  Eph.1:11-12 “In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory.”

Those words remind us that everything is in conformity with God’s purpose and will, even infertility.

A couple’s infertility will somehow serve God’s purpose and bring GLORY to the Savior’s name.

What do infertile couples do?

Being childless can be met head-on by Christian couples in exactly the same way that they might address any other challenge in life.

Call on God in PRAYER.  Phil.4:6 “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” Prayer can help infertile couples to deal with insensitive people.  Prayer reminds Christians that God holds all of us in the palm of his hand.

It isn’t wrong for a childless couple to long for a child.  Jesus promises, “Everything is possible for him who believes” Mark 9:23

They can be happy also knowing  that God has a PLAN for their lives as well.

Contentment with your path in life is always God-pleasing.

A barren womb is never God’s fault!

God wants women to have children. Psa.113:9 “He (God) makes the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children.”

The Lord promises BLESSINGS on all who reverence, trust, and obey Him!  Psa.128:2-6 “Their reward shall be prosperity and happiness.  Your wife shall be contented in your home.  And look at all those children! There they sit around the dinner table as vigorous and healthy as young olive trees.  That is God’s reward to those who reverence and trust him.  May the Lord continually bless you with heaven’s blessings as well as human joy. May you live to enjoy your grandchildren!”

What barren women should do.

1.  Pray consistently for God to heal you or your husband’s body.

2.  Constantly read the scriptures.

3.  Take complete inventory of your lives.

4.  Make sure there are no signs of unforgiveness in your heart, past or present. (Lk.6:27-38)

5.  Make sure you do not have a judgmental spirit. (Lk.6:37)

6.  Ask God to direct your path daily.  (Pr.3:5-7)

7.  Do not blame God for your condition.  (Dan. 9:9)

8.  Do not blame your husband for your infertility.  (Mat.7:3-5)

9.  Do not rob God of His rightful share of your money.  (Mal. 3:8-10)

10.  Make sure there is no form of occult activity in your life.  (Mat.6:24)

11.  You should fast.  (Mat.6:16-18)

12.  Cast all fear out of your life.  (2Tim.1:7)

13.  Don’t read anything the secular world has against Gods teachings. (Matt.6:22-23)

14.  Let God be your strength and power.  (2Chron.16:9)

15.  Get rid of sin in your life.

16.  You must yield yourself completely to God.  (Rom.6:12)

17.  Trust God completely.  (Col.4:12)

18.  Obey God completely.

19.  Put all bitterness aside.

20.  Be patient.  (Jas.1:17)

21.  Be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath.  (Jas.1:19-22)

22.  Take authority over Satan.  (Mk.8:33)

23.  Have complete faith and do not doubt.  (Mk.11:22-23)

24.  Put on the whole armor of God.  (Eph.6:11-15

THE GREATEST GIFT YOU CAN GIVE A WOMAN WHO IS BARREN, OR HAS HAD A MISCARRIAGE, IS INTERCESSORY PRAYER!

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post!  Daily there is a new post.

THE HOLY SPIRIT AND ME!

On Sunday, I like to use articles that other wives have given me to read.  The following was not written by me.  It is a page out of a booklet called “God’s Little Devotional Book.”  The woman who gave this to me to read, has suffered through the trauma of having her husband have various sexual encounters.  She forgave him, only to be humiliated once again.  Even though his wishes were to stay in the home, her hurt was to deep to accept his conditions.  Here are a few words she wrote about the article after reading it.  Then I will proceed to write what the article said.

WIFE:  God used this article to deal with me concerning my husband.  I really didn’t want to do what God was telling me to do.  All last week I woke up by 2am.  The latest I slept was till 4am the whole week.  As I watched TV, God would have preachers on speaking of  HIS LOVE and  HIS COMPASSION and our hurts being used to help others in need.  When I read this devotion I WEPT FOR MY HUSBAND.  God showed me, he is the wounded goose on the ground.  The Holy Spirit and me are to cover and help him.   I know this is what God wants.  I am not doing it ro reconcile with him, but so he can get reconciled with OUR FATHER.  I know it won’t be easy, but as long as I DEPEND on the HOLY SPIRIT to lead and help me, I can help him.  AND I WANT TO.  He’s my kids father, I love him and I want him to make it.  Keep me in prayer as I follow GODS’ WILL.

Article from  “God’s  Little Devotional Book”

Few sites get as much attention, and awe, as that of a large flock of Canadian geese flying their way in their V-formation to the north or south.  They speak of the changing seasons, and also of the   value of teamwork.

What many don’t know is that when a goose gets sick, or perhaps is wounded by a shot, it never falls from formation by itself.  Two other geese also fall out of formation with it and follow the ailing goose down to the ground.  One of them is very often the mate of the wounded bird, since geese mate for life and are extremely loyal to their mates.

Once on the ground, the healthy birds help protect the goose and care for it as much as possible, even to the point of throwing themselves between the weakened bird and possible predators (satan). They stay with the goose until it is either able to fly, or until it is dead.  Then, and only then, do they launch out on their own.  In most cases, they wait for another group (church) of geese to fly overhead and join them, adding to the safety and flying efficiency of  their numbers.

If only we wives would care for one another this well!!  Stick with your husband,…and more importantly, STICK BY HIM!!

Heb.10:25 “Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching.”

NOTE;  Don’t miss tomorrows post.   Daily there is a new post.

SATURDAY – QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS  

NOTE:  I get many questions like the following  I will not write it word for word as it was presented to me.  However, I will answer it in a manner that will help all spouses in a simular situation.

Question #1. My husband is laid off and I am not physically able to work.  I am believing in God and I am speaking words of faith over this situation.  I don’t want to stress my husband out but it is a battle for me.  What are my limits in discussing this with my husband?

Answer #1. Pick an excellent time when you both feel very good and happy.  I want to first give you some good information from a book called “For Women Only” by Shaunti Feldhahn.  I will be taking information from a chapter called – The Lonliest Burden.  She states that through her surveys, she has found that it is a mans mental burden that presses heavily to provide for himself and his family.   78% of men surveyed said that even if their wives made enough money for the family to survive, they still carried the compulsion to provide.  The same way a woman is insecure about her body and there is always a compulsion to loose weight, so it is for our husbands to provide.  The second thing surveyed is for 71% of the men, it is a constant, pressing burden.  This is because it is the core of a man’s identity.  Long hours of work is his way to say “I love you”.  Paul said that a man who doesn’t provide for his family is “worse than an infidel.”  This is how a man feels about himself when he can’t work and it is his fear.

How can a wife relieve the pressure?

1.  They need your belief that this will be resolved.

2.  Offer to do whatever you can to stay afloat.

3.  Do not spend unnecessary money.

4.  Be his emotional support by letting him know he will get through this.

How can you be a support when you need support?  Cast your cares on Jesus.  It is His (Jesus) job to carry the burden.

There is also the other 22% of men who do not care.

Many women marry men who are not working and may not intend to work.  They talk about working, but they don’t look for work.  It is very hard once you are married to admit that you did marry a man that probably will always go from job to job, but never really provide for his family.  If that is your case, PRAY.  I tell woman not to marry a man to change him.  Your husband may have married a wonderful woman that he knew would provide for him.  You can suggest that he be retrained in a field that has openings, but he probably won’t take any kind of labor job.  If he does, it may be for a short period of time in order to show you that he is willing to work hard.

Let this be a warning to women.  Marry a man who is preparing or has a trade and has held down a STEADY JOB for MANY YEARS.  Other than that, you are taking a chance and cannot complain after you are married.

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post.  Daily there is a new post.

GOOD FLAME-THROWER

A flame-thrower is a potent weapon with great psychological impact upon unprepared soldiers, inflicting a particularly horrific death.

I know you must be thinking what kind of person it must take to do such an ugly thing to a person.

Well, Gods word lists people who do such things and it says that the person who does harm deserves death.

Rom.1:28-32 “…since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent (disrespectful), arrogant (prideful), and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these things but also approve of those who practice them.” (NIV)

Rom.1:32 “…they not only continue to do these things but also approve of those who practice them.” (NIV) God condemns anyone who embraces a lifestyle of sin.

WHO IS KNOWN FOR DOING THIS!!! Wives!!!!!

You gossip and slander about your husband and you think it is in secret but it isn’t. In heaven every word is being recorded.

YESSSS!!!! You go to your mother or sisters house and you have a flame-throwing session.

YESSSS!!! You go to your best friend, or friends or work and you have a flame-throwing session.

YESSSS!! You go to your church or social engagements and you have a flame-throwing session.

You think it is ok because he is YOUR husband. No! No! No!

He is not yours, He is Gods!! It is your job to protect his reputation.

PROV.31:11-12 “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her…She will do him good and NOT EVIL all the days of her life.”

What is more severe MURDER or GOSSIP? The apostle Paul said they are both sins equally worthy of death.

Can any wife find me a verse that differs from what I’ve found so we can all start slandering and gossiping about the love of our life. The one who provides and protects us. The father of our children. The one we took vows with.

Wives many times gossip to gain attention or to be noticed.

DON’T GOSSIP ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND TO ANYONE! I DON’T CARE IF IT IS A RELATIVE OR BEST FRIEND!!

Okay, now you made me yell!

How would you like to go to a family event, or your husband’s work, or a social event, and have everyone stare at you like you were a REAL IDIOT because of things your spouse has said behind your back.

That is EXACTLY what they think of HIM.

“Well everyone vents and so do I. I don’t mean any harm!”

You are hurting GOD!

His word, is His word!!

Gossiping about your spouse could end or break up your marriage. Prov.16:28 “A forward man soweth strife: and a whisperer (gossiper) separateth chief friends.

Gossipers are not very intelligent; they tell everything that happens. Prov.29:11 “A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise keepeth it in till afterwards.”

Stop the gossip! Prov.26:20”Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth.

Proverbs 26:20 talks about “fire”. A flame-thrower.

Let’s put this to practice: Eph.4:29 “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths (about your husband), but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

Listen up spouses!! ARE YOU A GOOD FLAME-THROWER??

Are you GOOD at it? Are you GREAT at it?

Put down the AMMO!!!

Get another HOBBY! You are hurting GOD!

NOTE: Don’t miss tomorrows post. Daily there is a new post.

MASTURBATION & WIVES

The definition of Masturbation is the manual stimulation of the genital organs (of yourself or another) for sexual pleasure.

Most researchers found 40% to 80% of women do this on an average of once a month.

I am not aware if these percentages are the same for Christian wives, but I am aware that I have had to counsel single Christian woman on this subject.

Since this is a sensitive subject putting the words masturbation and Christian together, I will let you know that God put it on my heart to address this subject.

Masturbation is done in the context of lust, so this verse is important.  Matt.5:27 “Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time.  Thou shalt not commit adultery”

Lust is wrong inside or outside of marriage.

Before we are married, it is our desire for a mate that leads us to marry.  This is normal and natural.

1Thess.4:3-5 “For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour; Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God.”

Paul is telling them that part of sanctification is abstaining from sexual immorality.

Sexual appetite, outside of marriage is sinful.

For a single person the choices are abstinence or marriage.

Prov.25:28 “A man (woman)  without self-control  is as defenseless as a city with broken-down walls.”

Masturbation falls under the category of “uncleanness.”.

MASTURBATION = SELF ABUSE.

1Cor.7:3-5 “Let the husband render unto the wife due: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.  The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.

The wife violates her husband when she masturbates.

People who masturbate often imagine themselves in wild sexual situations.

You can develop self-control!!!!!

It doesn’t solve anything to IGNORE the problem.

Let God be your closest confidant.

Gal.5:16  “This I say then, Walk in the (Holy) Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.”

1.  Repent.

2.  Fall in love with God!

3.  Ask the Holy Spirit to totally control your body daily.

4.  Praise God all day, without ceasing.

 5.  Read your word and make it personal.

6.  Surround yourself with prayer warriors.

 Eph.6:13-17 “Wherefore take unto you the whole ARMOUR of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.  Stand therefore, having your LOINS GIRD ABOUT WITH TRUTH, and having on the BREASTPLATE of RIGHTEOUSNESS: And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace.  Above all, taking the SHIELD OF FAITH, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.  And take the HELMET OF SALVATION, and the SWORD of the Spirit, which is the word of God.”

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post.  Daily there is a new post.

TRIPLE DECKER

Everyone has heard of the statement “The more, the merrier!”

When I was a little girl, there was a comic strip called “Dagwood and Blondie.”   Everyone read the comics every Sunday.  Dagwood always ate stacked sandwiches.  So a big sandwich was called a “Dagwood Sandwich.”

When it comes to an ice cream cone or a sandwich, a “triple decker” is cool.

When it comes to Christianity, a “triple decker” could mean something else.

Let’s see what Jesus was teaching His disciples on this subject.

Matt.18:21-22 “Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him?  Till seven times?  Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.”

Jesus was giving them a teaching on forgiveness.

This was not an easy thing for the disciples as it was not for us when we realized we had to forgive people we didn’t want to forgive.

Right now I want to look at “compounding sin.”

FIRST lets’ talk to women who are on their second marriage.

How often has your husband done or said something that has infuriated you because that was what your first husband did and you hate it.

You told yourself that you would never take that again from any man.  You married your second husband because he was different.  You were sure he would never act like that and if he did.  There is the door.

Sucker once but not twice!

So you DEVOUR him.  How dare him!  You sucker punch him!

You contemplate LEAVING him or having him leave.

You are hurt.

You are COMPOUNDING someone elses sin and putting it in your husbands’ back pack!!

Your poor husband is “sucker punched” because he has no idea what got you so mad.  He has no idea what he has done.  He loves you but now he thinks he is married to a nut!!

Get it OUT of his backpack!  It is not his and don’t let him carry it.

Bury it in the deepest part of the ocean.

SECOND, you may have grown up in a home where your dad was very abusive to your mom.  Physically or mentally.

You decided that you are not ever going to be like your mom.  A small part of you is a man hater but you will never admit that.

Not all men.  Just the ones that act like “dear ol’ dad.”

All of a sudden, your husband says something or does something that triggers off a thought.  He is just like dad!

He better not think I am like my mother and will put up with his garbage.

No!!  Not me!!

I’ll show this dude right now who I am and who he isn’t.

When I am done, he will never do or say that again!

No!!  Not to me!!

You hit him with everything you have.  You make sure he is down and will stay there for quite a while.   How dare him!

Poor guy!  He is not your dad!   Get a grip!

You have just been “sucker punched” by a lying devil.

This is exactly why Jesus said to forgive “seven times seventy.”

Jesus knows every trick of the devil and he wants you to live in peace.

That is how much he loves you.

You are COMPOUNDING someone elses sin and putting it in your husband’s backpack.

Don’t make him carry that UGLY thing around!  He didn’t do anything wrong.

Maybe you are mad at someone at work or at home.  Maybe you are mad at a friend or relative.  Why are you COMPOUNDING that on his back.

Well, he does that to me!?!   Forgive “Seven times seventy.”

Your forgiveness of others is the condition for God to forgive you.  Mark 11:26 “”But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.”

CASE AND POINT:  As a new Christian, I was very upset with my child who kept doing what I asked them not to.  Every time they did it again, my anger would rise higher than the time before.  It finally got to a point where they no longer were being disciplined for their action.  They were being disciplined for all the other times they had done that same thing.  God convicted me about COMPOUNDING.  I knew I had to let it go and just deal with the one incident.

FREE your husband from “triple decker” COMPOUNDING!  You will free yourself.

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post.  Daily there is a new post.

A DAY AT THE SPA!  HURRAY!!

I am sure that everyone knows what a SPA is but I will describe it for you anyway.

SPA is a brand name of a mineral water from Spa, Belgium.

But our idea of a spa is a thermal bath of warm water where the water is believed to have special health–giving properties.

When you arrive at a SPA you usually are given a robe, slippers, a drink and you are in the atmosphere of soothing music.  There are also an array of other services like a massage or a facial.

It is where you go to in order to PAMPER your body.

Let’s look at God’s word and see some verses concerning your body.

1Cor.6:19-20  “What?  Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God , and ye are not your own?  For ye are bought with a price:  therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.”

The Greek word for “temple” is translated a highly decorated shrine.

Because the Corinthians were Greek they knew how impressive shrines were.

CASE AND POINT:  In Moscow, Russia, they have a gigantic white marble  cathedral with golden domes that is called “Christ the Savior.”  It is the largest Orthodox church in the world.  It is a memorial to the sacrifices of the Russian people.   Anyone going into that city sees that cathedral because it is in the center of the city.

Every country loves to show off its shrines.

God is no different!  God desires to show you and your spouse off.

He says that your marriage is a “city on a hill.”

When the Holy Spirit came into your heart, His work inside you was so glorious it was called a marvelous temple of God.

If you have been dealing with a poor self-image, this is the greatest self-image BOOSTER.

He has built for himself a beautiful temple within your heart–and that is who you are right now.

Now live like the magnificently decorated cathedral of God’s Spirit that  YOU ARE.

Here is a list of the commands about the body (Romans 12:1):

1.  Yield it to God (Romans 11:1; 6:13-20)

2.  Make it a living sacrifices (Rom.12:1)

3.  Make it holy (Rom.11:1, 1Cor.3:17)

4.  Make it accepted of God (Rom.12:1)

5.  Make it full of light (Mt.6:22)

6.  Reckon it dead to sin ((Rom.6:11)

7.  Reckon it alive to God (Rom.6:11)

8.  Refuse its slavery to sin (Rom.6:12)

9.  Mortify its deeds (Rom.8:13)

10. Refuse to defile it (1Cor.3:17)

11. Make it a fit temple for the Holy Spirit (1Cor.3:16-17; 6:13-20)

12. Make it free from fornication (1Cor.6:12-13)

13. Glorify God in it (1Cor.6:20)

14. Keep it in control (1Cor.9:27)

15. Put off its sin (Col.2:11)

The Apostle Paul  is letting us know that he never wants to be disqualified.

He is pouring his heart out to us.

In the Greek, the word “castaway” refers to a person who was once HONORED and RESPECTED. He has now lost his testimony and forfeited his reputation and is now shamed.

By mastering your body, you can now use it as an instrument in your MARRIAGE.

God desires that you as a spouse, be a shrine.

Can I Get Real? Christ paid a price and made an investment into your life with His blood.  He has compelled you to live a righteous life so he can use you as a shrine.  In return for that, you get to spend eternity in heaven.  It doesn’t get any better than that.  He has left his Holy Spirit as a helper so you are not alone.  JUMP at the opportunity to be a SHRINE for Jesus!!!!!

ARE YOU WITH ME GIRLS????

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post!  Daily there is a new post.

TWIST & SHOUT

How do you act when your plans have been HINDERED?

I don’t know how you feel when your spouse changes your plans at the last minute but for me, it’s a fate worse than death.

I’m a planner, so when plans are changed on me at the last minute my head wants to spin around.  Lol!!  I like to be where I am suppose to be and be there on time.  In my mind, I feel like I am being rude and violating the person who is expecting me.

The common complaint from spouses is when the other one switches rails that their train is on.

CASE AND POINT:  The other day I was driving and there was a detour sign.  But there was another very big sign. It stated that during construction, if you disobey the traffic laws, the price of the fine is doubled.  I thought, “That sure is cold.”  First, you cut off my road, then if I make a wrong move, now I pay double fines.  I started laughing!  It’s a double whammy cause whenever a road is cut-off, everyone starts making illegal “U-turns” and all sorts of wrong turns.

Especially when you have PLANNED and are now ready to do something, then your spouse changes all your plans on you.

What do you do?

That is enough to make someone “twist & shout!”

What did the disciples do?

Jesus and the disciples were on the boat planning on going to the other side:

Mark4:37-40 “And there arose a great storm of wind, and the waves beat into the ship, so that it was now full.  And he was in the hinder part of the ship, asleep on a pillow: and they awoke him, and said unto him, Master, carest thou not that we perish?  And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still.  And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.  And he said unto them, Why are ye so fearful?  How is it that ye have no faith?

A great windstorm arose.

The Greek word “arose” means something that catches one off-guard.

Jesus and the disciples did not expect bad weather that night.  This event completely took them by SURPRISE.

Mark uses the Greek word “mega” which denotes something of massive proportions.

The word “wind” in Greek is translated a hurricane or cyclone.

It was a CRUSHING and OVERPOWERING type of storm.

This caused the disciples to do a lot of “twisting & shouting!”

When did a big storm come your way and you were not prepared for it?

In verse 38 it says, “He (Jesus) was asleep on a pillow.  And they awoke Him.”

Jesus was calm even though the environment around him was hopeless.

In verse 38 it says, “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?

We right away think our spouse doesn’t care at all about our AGENDA.

We sometimes think Jesus DOESN’T CARE that our spouse is being unjust.

What was the disciples’ problem??  NO FAITH!!!!

What is our problem when we get to “twisting & shouting”?  NO FAITH!!

For some of us, it takes a crane to turn us around.

CASE AND POINT:  I remember in the early 80’s we were missionaries in England.  Twice a year we went to Holland for a bible conference.  We went by car and crossed the English Channel on a car ferry.  We only had a certain amount of time to reach the ferry in Cali, France or we had to wait till the next days’ ferry to cross the English Channel.  I had it all timed as to how long it would take the van full of people to reach Cali.  I was the only one interested in getting there on time so needless to say, we left about an hour after the time I had expected to leave.  We had to go from Holland, thru Belgium into the coast of France.  My husband started speeding and I kept telling him that it was too late to speed.  I told him he should have left earlier and we would never make it on time.  He kept speeding.  We got to the dock and all the cars were on the ocean liner and the gates were locked.  He ran and pounded on doors and begged for them to let us on the car ferry.  I knew it was hopeless and I couldn’t wait to get him alone to tell him the famous words, “You should have listened to me.  I told you this would happen.  See, I was right.”   All of a sudden, he came running, jumped in the van, and said they were going to let us on.  The gates opened and sure enough, we were on the ferry.  I was so mad that I didn’t get to tell him he was wrong for not leaving sooner.  All of a sudden, in my anger, God spoke to my heart.  I knew in my heart that God was saying to me that these kinds of incidences will continue to happen till I learned to be quiet and TRUST GOD!!

Every now and then (lol!), I still need a reminder (Hah!).

Listen to Gods Holy Spirit instead of putting yourself in “attack mode”!

Don’t destroy your spouse when God might just be trying to make you into more like Christ.

Just like the detour sign said that if you violate traffic laws during construction, you will pay a double fine, God will allow you to go through the trial (or training) all over again, and again and again!

Let’s quit “TWISTING AND SHOUTING!”

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post!  There is a new one daily.

TRUE STORY

A Step-child’s Heartbreak

NOTE:  The following is the testimony of a stepchild’s hurts.  Although it was for just a very short period that the marriage lasted, it still made an impact that will last a lifetime.  I am posting this today because once again, statistics show that every child alive today, one out of two will either be a stepchild or be a step parent.

When I was about 10 years old, my mother got married. I was raised with 2 sisters. We all handled their marriages differently because of our ages. My younger sister was 6 and my older sister was about 12. Up until that point, my sisters and I shared everything with my mom. My father had never been a part of my life, so my mom had done all things alone, to the best of her abilities. It was never easy, but we were happy. When I found out my mom was going to re-marry, I guess it didn’t bother me at first. I thought I might have the opportunity to have a father figure in my life.
​When my mom left for her honeymoon with her new husband, I just could not understand why we couldn’t go with her. It was the longest week of my life. Believe it or not, I experienced feelings of rejection from that. My life, as well as the lives of my sisters, changed after that day. I never did have the opportunity to have that father figure that I desired and we no longer had the mother we once knew.
​As a child, I had a lot of expectations for this marriage. I saw my mom, the person we looked up to, the prayer warrior, go through depression from this marriage. One day, it was pouring rain and my older sister and I had to walk a 2-3 mile walk home from school only to find out, when we walked in the door, that my mom was home and had forgotten us. She would forget to do very important things in our lives, which caused so much resentment, as well as other feelings towards her and the whole situation.
​As a teenager, I accepted Christ into my life and begin to lock into several different ministries that were offered for my age. With help from God, and much Godly counsel from several women that were in my life, I was able to overcome all of the areas in my life that had caused me so much pain. I was able to forgive, and see my mom through God’s eyes. I am so grateful that my mother raised us in church and worked so hard to support my sisters and me.
Although you and your children may not have had the same experiences that I had as a child in a step family home, most children in step family homes have so many feelings they don’t even understand. God created us to have a family with our mom and dad. The devil does everything in his power to destroy that. In the after math, children have to live with the reality that they will never have their mother and father, together, in their lives. Even when they are in a home with great stepparents, many times, it is not the same for them. That doesn’t mean that as a parent you have done a bad job. They are still children and can’t help how they feel.

Children in step-families have thoughts and feelings that go along with your marriage.
Don’t leave your child out.
Keep a close relationship with them.
Receive counsel if you are experiencing problems with your child and if everything is fine. Proverbs 15:22
Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.

Your child might have been fine with your new marriage as a child but, as a teenager, they may feel much different.

A NOTE FROM NANCY:  We have discussed before and I will give a quick summation of the teaching for parents and children.  DON’T try to get your spouse to love your children the way he loves his.  It may never happen!!  Nor should you try to get your children to love their stepparent the way they love their biological parent.  That is so torcherous to all involved.  What you want to aim for is: ACCEPTANCE, TRUST and RESPECT.  That will work because we all need to accept everyone for who they are, faults and all.  Show respect to them as you do any stranger and learn to trust God to show you the areas that the person could be trusted in.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

SATURDAY QUESTION & ANSWER

Question #1  I know I am called to be a pastor’s wife.  What is the most important thing to learn now while I am single in order to be what my husband needs as a partner?

Answer #1  Great question!  Before I get into the heart of your question, I would like to make some comments that are of great value.  First, marry a man that you can respect.  Remember that this man will be the father of your children and grandfather to your grandchildren.  Many girls have made the mistake of marrying someone who is cute and nice to them.  They don’t consider how he gets along with people at church, work, and his family.

First you must believe God about who He says He is, and believe God about who He say you are.

Second, you must respect your husband.  Remember that you are his companion.  So your second job is to take care of him.  Only he knows what he will expect of you as a wife.  Make sure that you get good marital counceling so you learn each others expectations.  If his family is taken care of, then he can serve God with a full mind and heart.

Third, is the church.  What people mainly will want from you is just encouragement.  Most of the questions asked from women are on marriage and children.  Learn as much as you can on those two subjects.

Store up prayers and praises for the future.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.