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KEEP YOUR HELMET ON DURING DISPUTES

29 Nov

KEEP YOUR HELMET ON DURING DISPUTES

Safeguard your mind against every mental assault of the devil that can destroy your marriage.

In Ephesians the Apostle Paul tells us that at salvation you are given this kind of safeguard.

“…And take the helmet of salvation…” Eph.6:17

A Roman soldier who lost his helmet was in danger of head injuries that would cause him to be disoriented, or death.

A Christian who is unsure of their salvation can’t be bold in resisting Satan.

CASE AND POINT:  Motorcyclists have a risk of a fatal crash 35 times greater than a passenger car.  A head injury is the leading cause of death in motorcycle accidents.  An unhelmetted motorcyclist is 40% more likely to incur a fatal head injury.  Shortly after I met my husband, his 21 year old cousin was instantly killed in a traffic accident.  He was DUI when he hit a sign on the turnoff lane.  Unfortunately, he hit the sign after crashing with his head.  In the 60’s there were no law on helmet wearing.  If his cousin had worn a helmet, he would be alive because nothing else on his body was affected.  This is just a story, but to my husband’s family, many family members never emotionally recovered.  Helmet laws are saving lives.

The helmet of salvation protects our mind from doubt and discouragement including our marriage.

Paul knew that doubting your security in Christ would render you ineffective in spiritual warfare.

People do suffer from doubt and discouragement

The devil lies to us about our salvation and he used everyday experiences to do it.

  • You sure are giving a lot into your marriage and getting very little back.  Where is your God?
  • You are doing everything you can as a spouse to hold to high standards, but you just lost your job.  Why isn’t God helping?
  • You read your word everyday but your spouse hasn’t changed?  What is God waiting for?
  • You’ve been going to church for years, and look at your kids.  What’s God doing in your life?  I thought he loved you?

When we are discouraged is when we are the most vulnerable.

Discouragement is a lethal weapon in the hands of the enemy.

Often when a runner is on the “home stretch” of a race, suddenly his body refuses to go any further.

Keeping your mind on the goal is what will get you across the “finish line.”

Don’t conform to the evil world.

Many times in marriage, we take our helmets off and start to verbally attack our spouse.

PAST: Salvation means God has rescued you from the penalty of sin;

PRESENT: He is rescuing you from the power of sin; and

FUTURE: He will rescue you from the presence of sin.

God commands you to put on the helmet of salvation to protect you on how you think as worldly thoughts bombard you daily.

Fall in love with Jesus!

Partner with the Holy Spirit!!!!

You can’t be in better hands!!!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

LISTEN, LEARN, AND LIVE

28 Nov

LISTEN, LEARN, AND LIVE

ALTHOUGH I’VE NEVER HEARD anyone actually ask the question, there are times when I know couples wonder, “What was God thinking when He brought the two of us together?”

Actually, I encourage spouses to pursue this line of thought.  If they do, they might find some relief for their marital troubles.  And I’m not kidding!

God says through Isaiah, “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways’, says the Lord.  “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts” (55:8,9).

God’s thoughts and ways are different from yours, but He wants to make them accessible to you—for your benefit and His glory.  So if you’re wondering, “What was God thinking?”, then I encourage you to labor to find out.  God wants you to learn to think His thoughts after Him, to discover and to walk in His ways.

“But how do I do that?” you wonder.

It’s simple, really.  You train yourself to listen to God in His Word, “Oh, that My people would listen to Me, that Israel would walk in My ways!” (Ps.81:13).  That’s it!  Listen, learn, and live.  In the process, you just may understand what God was thinking when He brought you and your mate together!  His ways are not our ways.

NOTE:  This article was written by Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

SATURDAY – QUESTION & ANSWER   

27 Nov

SATURDAY – QUESTION & ANSWER   

Question #1:  What can I do to rekindle my wife’s desire for romance?

Answer #1:  Use the following top ten list as a place to start.

10.  Hold Hands.  Hold hands while driving, walking, sitting in church, or talking in bed.

9.   Give her a massage.  Give foot rubs, back rubs, neck rubs, or a body massage.

8.   Serve her.  Remember the common courtesies:  opening the door, pulling out a chair for her, etc.

7.   Give her a kiss.  Nibble on the back of her ear or her neck, or just kiss her before leaving for work.

6.   Walk together.  As a couple, go for a walk in the early morning, after dinner, or as the sun sets.

5.   Write something romantic.  Leave notes, letters, poems, cards. and other romantic written messages where she’ll find them.

4.  Go out on a date.  A weekly date without the kids can be a lifesaver.

3.  Prepare a meal.  Have a quiet meal together with candlelight, linger over breakfast, or go on a picnic.

2.   Touch her tenderly.  Use nonsexual touch: hold her, hug her, cuddle with her,  or place an arm around her in public.

1.   Give her flowers.  Deliver, hand-pick, or bring home a single rose.  Tulips are a great second choice!

NOTE:  This article was taken from the book Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

QUENCH FLAMING MISSILES IN YOUR MARRIAGE

26 Nov

QUENCH FLAMING MISSILES IN YOUR MARRIAGE

Would you like to quench every flaming dart the devil tries to shoot into your marriage?

In Ephesians the Apostle Paul assures us that with our shield of faith, we can be supernaturally empowered to defend ourselves.

“Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.”  Eph.6:16

Every fiery dart the devil throws your way can be extinguished by the Holy Spirit.

CASE AND POINT:  During the Iraqi War and the Gulf War of 1991, scud missiles were being thrown at our soldiers and civilians.  The Patriot Missile system was designed to detect, target then hit an incoming missile.  Without the patriot missile, many lives would have been taken.

The “shield” was a large stone used to close and entrance; a door.

The shields were the full length of a man about the size of a door.

To assure the soldier that fiery darts would not affect them, the shield protected them from head to toe.

This is an example of the Holy Spirit protecting us as we use our “shield of faith.”

With God on our side, the enemy cannot penetrate our supernatural shield that is guarding us from head to toe.

Faith is an essential protection over your marriage against flaming arrows of temptation.

Oliver Wendell Holmes said, “It is faith in something that makes life worth living.”

Our marriage is in a war all the time.

When a flaming missile is lodged, it burns everything in its vicinity.

This is exactly the way the enemy works in our marriage since God’s word warns us that the devil is here to kill, steal and destroy.

You must carry the “shield of faith” in front of you.

The battle is not a power struggle, it’s a truth struggle.

Make sure that you are not quenching the Holy Spirit before you try to quench the devils darts.

What are the “fiery darts?”  doubts, fears, worries, etc.

Do you care enough for your marriage  to fight for it?

Choose between what is true and what is deceit in this world.

Is the devil throwing deceitful lying thoughts?

Your marriage is in a war zone!

Fight with the shield of Faith!!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be successful.

BOOT STRETCHERS FOR MARITAL PROBLEMS

25 Nov

BOOT STRETCHERS FOR MARITAL PROBLEMS

Many times women will wear “killer shoes” just to look tall and slender or to look cute.

When we are in the middle of problems we will pull anything out of our arsenal bag to bring a peaceful ending.

God has an ANSWER to bring peace to our marriage.

There is an important part of your spiritual armor that is very necessary to have peace in your marriage.

Eph.6:14-15 “Stand therefore, having your…your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace.”

Paul was telling the Christians that just like a soldiers feet had to be comfortable and protected to win their approaching battles we need that preparation and equipment to fight for peace in our marriage.

Boots were part of their weaponry.  These boots protected the legs as well as had spikes on the bottom to be used as a WEAPON.

Today’s military boots are adjusted with boot stretchers and cushioned with purchased arch supports.

We will always have to put WORK and preparation into our marriages as times and seasons change our lives.

Preparation means “readiness” and we need to face the enemy with firm footing.

As a spouse and Christian soldier, your equipment is your readiness to be a living testimony of God’s Good News.

During the time of battle you are EXPECTED to do everything to keep the peace in your home.

God ordained marriage but because of our fallen world, we will always have to face concerns, fears or worries.

God tells us NOT to worry or have anxiety.

He wants us to exchange our heaviness for the Lords light burden.

CASE AND POINT:  During WWII, bombs would rain down on London and Coventry.  Coventry was literally flattened by the end of the war.  When we lived in England in the 1980’s I remember that Coventry seemed so much newer than the rest of the Country.  When I was told that it had to be rebuilt after the war, my heart broke for the families that didn’t make it through the war.  When the people of England had defeated hearts as they felt they were loosing.  Winston Churchill would come on the radio.  This mans voice changed discouraged hearts to be a heart filled with courage and peace.  They won the war!!!

This is what the  “gospel of peace” does for you and I in our marriage.

Peace is a state of wellbeing!

Isn’t it funny how God put “peace” along with these killer weapon’s.

These “feet shod” protect you from the insults and assaults of the devil.

God’s peace will hold you in place when the devil tries to push you around.

Have there been DIFFICULT times in your marriage?

Is the devil trying to shove you around?

Is the enemy BLOCKING your path to a great marriage?

Keep stomping with your boots.

BIND God’s peace into your mind and emotions.

Partner with the Holy Spirit and be confident that God will provide His peace that passes all understanding.

“And the peace of God will, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” Phil.4:7

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

KEEPING A PARASITE FREE MARRIAGE

24 Nov

KEEPING A PARASITE FREE MARRIAGE

Do you know how to identify parasites in your marriage?

Are you even WATCHING out for parasites?

A parasite is a follower who hangs around a host in hope of gain or advantage.

The Apostle Paul tells us to have on the BREASTPLATE of righteousness for a crucial reason.

“Stand therefore…having on the breastplate of righteousness” Eph.6:14

A breastplate covers the heart and vital organs and keeps them from harm or being destroyed.

In our spiritual ARSENAL, we have the breastplate of righteousness and all we have to do is put it on.

1Thess.5:8 “…having put on a breastplate of faith and love…”

God’s character is the definition and source of all righteousness.

Satan’s attacks come against your marriage with crafty ACCUSATIONS that undermine what God is doing in your marriage.

Remember that you are wearing the breastplate of righteousness when the enemy comes around to destroy.

Righteousness is anything that conforms to a standard and our standard is the WORD of God.

An area the enemy thrusts at marriages is unrighteousness in our finances.

Finances are at the top for reasons that cause the most DIVORCES.

The enemy tries to get you to hide money from your spouse.

He will cause you to have a spending frenzy so you will try to SPEND as much money as you can before your spouse does.

Being righteous in your finances means that you surrender to the Holy Spirit who fills and controls you.

Warfare starts in the battlefield of your MIND.

Be sure that you pay tithes and offerings so that you will not be robbing God and closing the windows of heaven.

Gods Word says that when we give, he opens up HEAVEN to us.

Do you and your spouse argue about money?

Arguing over finances NEVER solves marital problems.

If the finances cannot be resolved, you can either hire a financial advisor or a Christian marital counselor who can teach you some communication skills.

Money is to be a tool to bring us closer to God as we commit our finances to Him.

Are you FULL of parasites?

My flock has become prey and food for every wild animal.”  How so?  For “they lack a shepherd.” (Eze.34:8)

Are parasites hanging on you trying to take advantage of your situation?

Parasites promise PLEASURE but grow and consume more of your thoughts and time.

Your loyalty to your spouse and your time are stolen away.

Pay attention to your marriage and GUARD it!

“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.”  Prov.4:23 NIV

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help make your marriage a success.

COOL TOOL FOR MARRIAGE

23 Nov

COOL TOOL FOR MARRIAGE

What are “cool tools”?

CASE AND POINT:  I was studying while the TV was on.  They had a program called “Cool Tools.”  It captivated me because they were “cool tools.”  I am not a spender nor do I buy things on impulse but I felt like I needed every one of those “cool tools.”  They even had electronic alarms to guard your “cool tools.”  I managed to turn the program off the TV without purchasing any of the tools I was convinced I couldn’t live without.

In God’s word he has “cool tools” also that he says we won’t make it without them.

One of God’s “cool tools” is a tool belt.

When I go get my hair done, I notice that the girl has all her scissors and combs on a tool belt around her waist.

People in construction also wear them so they can have all their tools hanging around their waist and at their DISPOSAL.

Tool belts make the carrier more efficient in time and accuracy because they are not distracted with anything else on their mind.

Paul says that the believers are to be EQUIPPED with a loin belt of truth, referring to God’s word.

“Stand therefore, having your loins girt about with truth…” Eph.6:14

CASE AND POINT:  A loinbelt was a Roman soldiers most important piece of weaponry.  It held his weapons together such as his sword, arrow pouch, and breastplate.  If it were not for the loin belt, the Roman soldier would have nothing to hang his essential weaponry on.  This gave him the opportunity to move quickly and fight with fury.

In your marriage you need truthfulness.

The Holy Spirit is the one who REVEALS the word of God that is in you and convicts you to be honest and truthful with your spouse.

The word “truth” in the Greek means that which is hidden.

This means openness or nothing hidden.

Test everything you say and do by comparing it to the plumbline of God’s WORD.

As a spouse you must love truth and live truth!

God is truth and he wrote the Bible which is the “owners manual.”

What book are you following for your standard??????

For a child of God, your armor is God’s word –the truth.

If God’s word is operating in your life, the Holy Spirit will quicken the word in you and use it as a sword.

Is God’s word dominating your THINKING for your marriage?

You will come apart at the seams if you don’t daily have His Word at the center of your life.

Do you have a powerful SWORD to fight against the enemy?

Start Loving truth and Living truth today!!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be successful.

GETTING YOUR SPOUSE TO UNDERSTAND YOU

22 Nov

GETTING YOUR SPOUSE TO UNDERSTAND YOU

Any FOOL can criticize, condemn and complain but it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving. (by Dale Carnegie)

Understanding is shown by both words and actions.

You may want to be understood but do you understand your SPOUSE.

Understanding is an inclination to support or be loyal to or to agree with an opinion.

Prov.2:11 “Discretion will protect you and understanding will guard you.”

The heart of EMPATHY is entering into another’s feelings.

How often do we really do this with our spouse??

There are SOME people in life that are very hard to empathize with.

When people bring things upon themselves, it is hard to have empathy.

Prov.4:7 “Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom.  Though it cost all you have get understanding.”

Here is a list of ways you can show understanding every day.

  • Back off a little if your spouse needs space for a while.
  • When your spouse is trying to talk to you, stop what you are doing and pay close attention.
  • Stay close by when your spouse is worried or sad.  That may be when they need you the most.
  • Look at your spouse in a caring way as he (or she) talks to you.
  • Find time to rest together when your spouse is tired.
  • Listen to your spouse the way you imagine you want to be  listened to.
  • Go out of your way when your spouse needs or wants help.
  • Be sure to tell your spouse that you are trying to see things their way.
  • When your spouse is happy or loving, spend some time together enjoying the good feelings.
  • Listen and show understanding before disagreeing when your spouse is upset.

The Holy Spirit wants to give you understanding for your spouse.

This is VITALLY important for your marriage.

Prov.24:3 “By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established.

The word “established” in the Greek means fastened, firm, ready, or set.

If you don’t work towards understanding, you are leaving your marriage without seat belts for safety.

When the enemy comes to destroy your marriage, there will be nothing to hold it TOGETHER.

You can secure it right now.

Don’t keep God and your family waiting.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

TWO KINDS OF BEAUTY

21 Nov

TWO KINDS OF BEAUTY

GOD MADE WOMEN to be beautiful in two ways: internally and externally.  No matter their age, wives need to cultivate both.

In the Old Testament, God smiled at the attraction men felt toward physically beautiful women (Deut.21:11).  Yet how well we women know the fading glory of the external!!  Physical beauty barely reaches full bloom before our bodies begin to deteriorate and droop like a flower past its prime.  This inevitable decline should not, however, provide an excuse for neglecting our appearance.  Your body was make to please your husband, not just sexually, but visually, too.

But internal beauty, born in the heart, is the most important kind of beauty; and 1Peter 1:22-25 tells us it is imperishable.  The essence of internal beauty is found throughout Scripture.  God tells us to have a heart of gratitude, compassion, and hope; an attitude of humility, service and joy; a mind transformed, focused, and at peace.  And in 1Corinthians 13:4-7, we learn what love looks like.

While God expects both men and women to love this way, a woman possesses softness, gentleness, and grace that a man does not.  These qualities make her more beautiful.  This blossom of inner beauty matures very slowly and never fades.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be successful.

MARRIAGE IS A COVENANT

20 Nov

MARRIAGE IS A COVENANT

Marriage is not a private experiment,littered with prenuptial agreements and an attitude of “Try it! If it doesn’t work, I can always bailout.”   Marriage is not a convenient relationship based upon “What’s in it for me?”  Marriage is not some kind of social contract, something you do only “for as long as you both shall love.”

Marriage is a sacred, lifetime covenant between one man and one woman and their God.    It is a public vow of how you will relate to your spouse as you form a new family unit.  And any covenant, including the marriage covenant, is a binding, weighty obligation.

Deut.23:23 says, “That which has gone from your lips you shall keep and perform, for you have voluntarily vowed to the Lord your God what you have promised with your mouth.  In Proverbs we read, “It is a snare for a man to devote rashly something as holy, and after words to reconsider his vows” (20:25).  Jesus said that, “every idle word that men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment” (Matt.12:36).

Our culture no longer takes marriage seriously, but these verses all proclaim the unchanging truth: God takes the wedding covenant and the vows that we make to one another very seriously.

NOTE:  This was taken from the book “Family Life Marriage Bible” by Dennis and Barbara Rainey

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be successful.