Archive by Author

THE ANTIDOTE FOR COMPLAINING

4 Jul

THE ANTIDOTE FOR COMPLAINING

I WONDER WHAT WE WOULD find if we could do a little open-heart surgery on a complainer?  I think that it would show that grumbling can be a form of heart disease–rebellion against authority.  When  Job said, “Even today my complaint is bitter,” immediately he added, “Oh, that I knew where I might find Him (God), that I might come to His seat”— in order to complain about the injustices done to him (Job.23:2-3).

I have a confession: I struggle with complaining.  Over the years, God has taught me a few things about the problem.

Usually, I’ve found, complaining is a loss of perspective, a failure to remember who is in control.  Such a person wonders, “Does God really know what’s best for me?”

Generally a grumbler feels dissatisfied with his lot in life, with the circumstances God has allowed to come his way.  Israel’s grumbling in the desert was symptomatic of a far more fatal disease: unbelief, a lack of faith that God knew what He was doing.

So what’s God’s prescription for this heart problem?  “Do all things without complaining and disputing,” Paul writes, “that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world” (Phil.2:114,15).  Are you guilty of grumbling, or does your light shine in your marriage and family?

It may be that you will want to memorize this verse, then lead your family in the same assignment.  I did.  And it helped!

NOTE:  This article came form the book Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

RECEIVE THE BIGGER MARITAL BLESSING

3 Jul

RECEIVE THE BIGGER MARITAL BLESSING

In a marriage, everyone expects the husband to be the provider.

In some marriages, the wife is the provider, which works out very well for some couples.

Every day we count on people and businesses to provide goods or services to meet a need in our life.

Because my husband and I travel quite a bit, we are always concerned about arriving at the airport and seeing that our flight has been cancelled.

CASE AND POINT:  My husband had an early flight out of Sacramento so he decided to stay at a hotel in that city.  He made his reservations and explained to them that he would not arrive till 11pm.  He preached that night out of town and he was going to drive to Sacramento.  When he arrived, they informed him that his room was given away.  He had already paid for it with a credit card and they had already received their money for the room.  They politely told him he would be credited on his credit card for his room.  My husband asked them to get him a room at another hotel.  They politely informed him that there were no more rooms in the city because a very important event was taking place in Sacramento and he would have to drive over an hour to get a room.  My poor husband spent the night in his car.  He was not a “happy camper”.  Actually, he felt so violated and was infuriated at their deceptiveness to give his room away.

There will be times in your life when you are counting on your spouse for something and they just won’t come through.

High expectations can cause an array of problems in a marriage.

Rather than allowing your marriage to take a beating, put your trust in  YAHWEH YIREH.

 Pray to YAHWEH YIREH,  who is the God who sees the situation before hand and will provide for your needs.

YAHWEH YIREH has provided joy and laughter for you through the turbulent times.

YAHWEH YIREH has provided for you rest during times of hard work.

YAHWEH YIREH has provided for you food when your pantry was empty.

YAHWEH YIREH has provided for you shelter when you could not afford or find anything comfortable.

Gen.22:1-14, God asked Abraham to sacrifice his son on an altar.  When he was ready to kill his son, God intervened and provided a ram to sacrifice on the altar instead.  So Abraham named the place “The Lord Will Provide.”

Because Abraham obeyed God, he was blessed with a long life, many children, wealth and a spiritual legacy.

Your small steps of obedience will lead to larger ones and you will receive bigger blessings.

Obedience is the key to marital wisdom, strength, and resistance to temptation.

Maybe airports can cancel flights but our God will never cancel the promise he made to Abrahams descendants.

We are Abraham’s descendants.

Trust God to provide!

NOTE:  Daily there is a post to help your marriage succeed.

ENJOY YOUR MARRIAGE

2 Jul

ENJOY YOUR MARRIAGE

God desires that we be grateful for every day that passes.

His desire is that we use everyday to ENJOY our marriage and to gather wisdom to make everyday more understanding than the day before.

Psa.90:12 “So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.”

Do we treasure each day?

CASE AND POINT:  There is a garment which is a mobility restricting bodysuit called a Third Age Suit.  It was made to show the loss of mobility which can occur in the aging process or other clinical conditions.  It also gives you a better understanding of the mental aspects.

Everyone is aware that old age brings physical loss but it also includes loss of independence, self-esteem and pride.

There are many questions as to why God designed our bodies to DETERIORATE but it could be that some people live as though this world is all there is.

The only one who lives forever is God, EL OLAM.

OLAM is a Hebrew word translated “eternal” or “everlasting”.

EL OLAM has the meaning “Eternal God” or “Everlasting God.”

This knowledge in our marriage should cause a reaction for us to be humble and stay focused.

Focused, because every day matters and humble, because we realize our limitations.

Old age is a blessing in disguise because the physical decline presses us TOWARDS God.

Jesus assured us that there is eternal life in John 3:16.

The eternal God, EL OLAM, wants a people that he can eternally love.

Live your marital life as in a way that expresses heaven as your true home.

Realize that God’s promises for our marriage will NEVER fail us.

Praise God for your husband’s limitations and yours.

Are you running out of STRENGTH in your marriage?

Are you running out of power in your marriage?

God GIVES strength to the weary and power to the weak.

If you feel that you have a weak marriage you can ask the Holy Spirit to fill it with His power.

Thank God for everything that is working well in your SPOUSES body.

Thank God for everything that is working well in your body.

Stop complaining about the areas in your marriage that are FRUSTRATING.

Start being GRATEFUL for the areas in your marriage that are strong.

Do something productive in your marriage today because you won’t be able to ever relive it again.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

STOP WORRYING ABOUT YOUR MARRIAGE 

1 Jul

STOP WORRYING ABOUT YOUR MARRIAGE 

Every marriage has an “event planner.”

I am not talking about a “wedding planner.”

This is an event planner to guide your marriage to be successful in the future.

The name of your “event planner” for your marriage is EL SHADDAI.

The Hebrew EL SHADDAI, is translated “God Almighty.”

God’s covenant name EL SHADDAI, “God Almighty”, what does it mean in your life?  Nothing can prevent God Almighty from carrying out His plans for your life or prevent him from pouring out His blessings into your life.

There are many wives who feel that their spouses have ruined their lives.

Many wives feel that had they married “Prince Charming”, surely things would turn out better.

The devil is lying to you sister, Big Time!!

You need to know God as the ALL-POWERFUL God which nothing is impossible for Him.

Just like He told Abraham in Gen.17:1-2, He is telling you, “I am God Almighty (El Shaddai); walk before me and be blameless.”

As long as you follow God, there is no power on heaven or earth that can hinder His plans for you.

Just like God made a covenant to Abraham, He has made a COVENANT with you to assist you through the tough times in your marriage.

When you are at your weakest, God can show His strength for you and in you.

When you feel that your marital problems are overbearing, turn in faith to EL SHADDAI, almighty, all-powerful God.

Be confident in God’s ability to bless you and sustain you.

You cannot depend or put your trust in God Almighty if you have a HABIT of worrying about your marriage.

Who has protected you up to now?

Who has SUSTAINED you and fed you up to now?

Who has given you refuge up to now?

God will use anything the evil one throws at you to destroy you, and change it to bless your life if you will TRUST in Him.

Are you experiencing difficulty in your marriage?

Are you struggling with PAINFUL hurts from your marriage?

Are you confused about the future of your marital status?

God Almighty, EL SHADDAI, is your “event planner.”

He has a plan for your life and He is on your side.

Ask God to ENABLE you to see Him for who He is.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

FOR WIVES IN DESPERATION

30 Jun

FOR WIVES IN DESPERATION

We have all heard about “home security cameras” that record what is happening in our home while we are gone.  Some are made where you can watch on your phone what is happening in your house at that very minute.

The word “security” has different meanings but basically it is measures taken as a precaution against theft or espionage or sabotage, etc.

People and businesses spend a fortune to protect what they own every year.

Many times when NEGATIVE things happen in our lives and our marriage, we feel so alone.

We feel like nobody knows our sorrows and nobody cares.

The truth is that God knows and he cares about everything that is IMPORTANT to us.

Hagar, a pregnant Egyptian slave, was mistreated by her mistress and she ran away into the desert.  The angel of the LORD came to her at a well in the desert and told her to go back to her mistress and obey her.  Also, that she was going to have a son who would grow and have many descendants.

In Gen.16:13, Hagar named God, EL ROI  “The God who sees me” because she said that she has now seen “the one who sees me.”

The well that she was at, she named it BEER LAHAI ROI which means “The well of the Living One who sees me.”

There is an important reason why I have told this story.

You may be in deep stress involving a problem in your marriage.

There might be something that you cannot tell anyone about and you are in DESPERATION to have it resolved.

This is exactly the position that Hagar was in and God told her to go back to her mean mistress and for her to be obedient to her.

When I first read this, I was so distressed that she had to go back to her master who had violated her.

You have to know that God has a plan to BLESS your life and for your marriage.

If God’s eye is on the sparrow, His eyes are certainly on you.

Never accuse God of abandoning you.

You need to become aware of His PRESENCE in your life.

No one seemed to care about Hagar and her unborn child enough to monitor her progress in the desert—no one but EL ROI.

There is no worse nightmare for a woman than to be pregnant, in poverty, and to be alone in the desert.

God saw the ABUSE Hagar had taken in the past, he pinpointed her exact position in the present, and he saw the future that he held for her.

God knows your past violations, he knows what you are going through now, and he knows the great blessing he has in store for you.

God is always working out His plan for your FUTURE.

God is always extending a helping hand to guide you through the tough times.

You might feel that your spouse is not doing enough for you and doesn’t even care to be SENSITIVE to what you are going through.

Don’t resent your spouse; He is not God.

Let the LORD be your “home security camera”.

Your spouse is not EL ROI, who sees you.

Let’s give our spouse a break and turn to the God who sees us.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

HELP FOR “NOT PERFECT” WIVES

29 Jun

HELP FOR “NOT PERFECT” WIVES

The word “flawless” means without defect or weakness in a person’s character.

We many times use the excuse that we are not perfect.

This leaves a lot of room for us to excuse ourselves for bad BEHAVIOR.

We were made by a perfect God who made us in His image.

Gen.1:27 “ So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.”

When we look in the mirror in the morning, who stares back?  Someone worn and aged?  Someone who has a nose that is too big or too little?

Or do you see a child of God who is growing daily in his image?

What do you see when you look at your spouse?

Do you see someone who was made in the image of God?

You can be so occupied by your spouses flaws that you miss life’s beauty.

You can miss the beauty of the person that God made when he DESIGNED your spouse.

The word for God in Genesis is “Elohim” which occurs 32 times in that first chapter.

This name given to God “Elohim” , contains the idea of God’s creative power.

He created the heavens and the earth out of absolutely nothing.

God made it all, owns it all, and He can GIVE away it’s fruit to anyone he wants.

Elohim desires to use His creative power in your life now.

Often times we get upset with our spouse because we expect PERFECTION from them.

We expect our spouse to have creative power to solve all family issues, financial problems and any unexpected events.

God has UNLIMITED resources to accomplish his purposes.

So are wives flawless?

God’s Holy Spirit who dwells in us is flawless but our bodies have flaws.

This is why we must ASK God to be Lord of our lives.

Don’t forget that every human life, including your spouse’s, is sacred.

Don’t take God’s earthly blessings for GRANTED.

Don’t take your husband for granted.

Remember that you bear God’s image.

As a spouse, you are a representative of God’s perfect love.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

LEARN TO LISTEN

28 Jun

LEARN TO LISTEN

Every cell phone user has experienced it at some point, and one company has built an entire advertising campaign around it:  While you are speaking to a spouse, a business contact, or a friend, the connection breaks—only you don’t know it immediately.  You continue to talk until you sense something is wrong and finally ask, “Are you still there?”

Dead silence or a static screech provide the answer—yes, indeed, the person on the other end is gone.  And then you wonder, Just how much of what I said wasn’t heard?

How often does this type of thing happen in your marriage?  One of you is talking, but no one is on the other end of the conversation.  Listening is not as easy as talking for most of us!  When Job told his friends, “Listen carefully to my speech, and to my declaration with your ears.”  he said it out of deep frustration (Job 13:17).  Remember that attentive listening encourages and blesses the speaker.

So the Bible urges us, “Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak” (James 1:19).  If you want the tension level in your marriage to decrease, then learn to become a better listener.

NOTE:  This article is from the book Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

DREAMS COME TRUE FOR ME

27 Jun

DREAMS COME TRUE FOR ME

 Today is our anniversary, 51 years together!  Yesssss!!!  We met when I was 15 and he was 16 years old.  A few months after I turned 16 we started dating.  It seems like yesterday.  Where did the almost 55 years go?

My older brother (10 months older than me) was in a band with Richard.  When I met my husband and the more I got to know him, I thought he was the nicest guy I had ever met.  I remember telling my brother that if I ever had a boyfriend like Richard, I would do everything to make it work.  He was very polite and courteous.  We were friends for about 3 months and went places with my brother and other friends.

Then one day he let me know that he liked me.  I was a little upset because it took him so long to let me know.  He told me that my brother told him I didn’t like guys to flirt with me.  Which was true.  He then told him not to ask me out or I would probably quit talking to him.  I told my brother that I was talking about his other friends but not Richard.   This was in 1965.

We were married four years later.  It was the greatest day of my life.  My father, who had abandon my mother and I along with my five brothers, never showed up to the wedding.  I waited in the back of the church for him to walk me down the aisle and when I realized he wasn’t coming, I asked my little brother to walk me down.  I didn’t care because I knew I was marrying the greatest man I had ever met and he loved me.  It was in 1969 that I married my best friend and this man I would spend the rest of my life with.

  Life has not been problem free, but we have been committed to each other every day of our married life.

I give God all the honor and glory because He has been the lover of our soul.  Without Him we are nothing and can do nothing.

Yes, dreams do come true with the leading of the Holy Spirit.  IT HAPPENED TO ME!!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help our marriage succeed.

 UNDERSTAND YOUR SPOUSES FEELINGS

26 Jun

 UNDERSTAND YOUR SPOUSES FEELINGS

The word “dialogue” means a discussion between two persons intended to produce an agreement.

Dialogue is a gift you give to one another and it has no strings attached.

During confrontation, it is important that the communication lines stay OPEN.

Remember that the purpose of dialogue is to help you understand your spouse’s feelings.

Don’t focus on CHANGING your spouse, focus on their feelings.

Don’t focus on manipulating your spouse, focus on their feelings.

Try to not concentrate on how your partner thinks but how your partner feels.

It is your RESPONSIBILITY to try to understand and accept your spouse as he is.

Women are more relational then men because that is the way their brains are made.

Women communicate with their mothers, sisters, friends, children, co-workers, neighbors, and are usually easier conversationalists with strangers.

A woman’s God-given role is to be her husbands “helpmeet”.

When a wife adapts herself to her husband’s way of communicating, it is just another way of her fulfilling her role as a “helpmeet.”

When women are asked what her ideal husband would be like, she usually describes her best friend.

Wives don’t REALIZE that they are made to be different than their husbands and communicate different.

This is why woman are the ones who should learn to change.

CASE AND POINT:  Many years ago, my husband started to go through a different stage in his life.  God spoke to my heart that I would have to learn who this different thinking husband was and adjust to what his needs are now.  I started to get upset thinking that I am me and couldn’t change for him.  How do I even know what kind of a wife he needs?  Also, how do I know that I’m even capable of changing?   Third, what if I don’t want to change?  I realized that every decade “Cher” changes in order to survive and support herself.  She sang with her husband, then had a variety show ?  She changed her music style and made more albums.  All this she did for the almighty dollar.  If “Cher” could do that for money and fame, I could change to glorify God and please my husband.  SO I DID!!   It wasn’t easy, but I did it with the leading of the Holy Spirit and the love of God. Tomorrow we will be married 51 years.  Hallelujah!!

Prov.21:19 “It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.”

This is saying that a man would rather be alone in the world than to be in a house with an angry and argumentive woman.

You will NEVER get the results that you want by nagging.

A man will eventually shut down and withdraw if nagged because it is so demeaning to him.

You might be GLOATING because you have your husband do everything that you want  but is he holding resentment against you?

It is fine to remind your husband to do something again, but don’t say it in a demoralizing way.

Listen to your TONE of voice and to what exactly you are saying before you say it.

Don’t make statements like, “How many times do I have to say this before your brain understands it?”

SHOW YOUR HUSBAND RESPECT!!

Gal.5:15 NLT “But if you are always biting and devouring one another, watch out!  Beware of destroying one another.”

The key to warming your husbands heart is to show him “respect.”

This is your husband’s lifeline.

According to Gods principles, he does not have to earn RESPECT, you are commanded to show him respect out of duty.

We are taught in God’s word that gentleness and reverence are what will win a disobedient husband over.

Do you want your husband to be more RECEPTIVE when you talk?

Good!!  Give the poor guy the respect he craves.

Once you decide to change and humble your STUBBORN self to the Lord’s way, you will be shocked at what will happen to your husband.

Take the first step and begin to invest in your husband and in your marriage.

There will be a change as soon as your speech becomes CONstructive instead of DEstructive.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

COURAGE TO LET DOWN YOUR GUARD

25 Jun

COURAGE TO LET DOWN YOUR GUARD

Marriage takes courage because it is something worth fighting for.

We need to put on our boxing gloves DAILY and fight for our marriage.

CASE AND POINT:  Oscar DeLaHoya was a champion boxer that the whole Hispanic community was proud of.  He invested a lot of money for children in the Barrio communities.  All his games were sold out with the Hispanic community dominating the seats.  Any Hispanic that you would talk to and mention Oscar’s name, they would respond with acalades.  His last fight was sold out months in advance.  There was excitement in the air.  But something happened that surprised everyone.  In one of the early rounds, Oscar DeLaHoya refused to come out.  He decided that he did not have what it took and that he would not be able to win the fight.  That could be the mistake of his life. The people at the boxing arena were furious.  They felt cheated.  It was in all the papers.  Oscar is no longer their hero.  Why??  Because he quit!!  They felt that he should have fought to the finish.

There is something about fighting to the finish.

It takes GUTS to work through all the emotions.

It takes guts to admit you are wrong and say you are sorry.

It takes COURAGE to give in to your spouse’s desires.

It takes courage to let down your guard and let your spouse see the real you.

It takes courage to change and choose to PLEASE your spouse.

Romans 16:17 “…mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them.”

This verse is telling us that if our lives are not disciplined then the church is to stay away from us.

Rom.16:19 “Everyone has heard about your obedience, so I am full of joy over you.”

In our marriages we need to take the road paved with diligence and perseverance.

The road to a successful marriage is rarely SIMPLE because as a spouse you need to be productive and hard-working.

Just as we do everything to be successful in our jobs, so should we do the same to be successful in our marriages.

The devil will tell you, “Why are you doing this?  Your spouse doesn’t appreciate you anyway!”

The beginning of a marriage is always exciting.

The DIFFICULT part is sticking through the rough stuff to the very end.

The real test is when the newness and the excitement is gone and the hard-work and commitment begins.

Stay committed to the VOWS you made to your husband and to God.

Punch it out and move forward with every ounce of your might.

Your spouse is WORTH it.

He loves you!  You are his choice!!!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.