KILL YOUR DISTORTED SPOUSAL PERSPECTIVE

12 Jan
heart-bottle-love-midalion-Favim.com-470983

KILL YOUR DISTORTED SPOUSAL PERSPECTIVE

Scientific studies have proved that your brain is made up of about 100 billion nerve cells – which look like trees.

All through  the bible, God refers to us as trees in many of the verses.

Psa.1:3  “And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.”

Prov.3:18  “She is a tree of life to them that lay hold upon her…”

The more branches you grow on these nerve cells, the more intelligent you become.

You grow what looks like BRANCHES in your brain as you take in knowledge and store it.

Science has proved that when you are not taking in knowledge, the branches in your brain begin to die.

Hosea 4:6 “My people are destroyed(die) for lack of knowledge”.

When you are able to view your spouse’s gifting, you are now seeing them through Jesus’ eyes.

That is why the question we are asking today is “Do You See What God Sees?” and the answer is “NO”!

If we saw what God sees, we would have more respect for our spouse’s opinion.

If you don’t view your spouse as Jesus sees them, you will want them to CONFORM to your way of thinking.

Your perspective of your spouse becomes distorted because you are now judging and evaluating them according to your view and not God’s handiwork in their life.

In Carolina Leaf’s book, “The Gift Within You”, she scientifically and through God’s word, explains the brain.

Her book is on the brain, but I recommend it to every married couple because of all the knowledge on the way the brain thinks.

When you take information into your brain, 100 billion neurons have the POTENTIAL to connect 100 trillion times.

That is an incredible capacity for thoughts and intelligence.

In order to understand your husband, you would have to know WHICH way a thought has traveled.

It is impossible for you to know which path of thought your spouse’s brain went down and God doesn’t expect you to know that.

God expects you to be UNDERSTANDING without understanding.

Do you try to change your husband?

Don’t get hung up on trying to improve your spouse’s WEAKNESSES.

Instead, learn to support his strengths.

A wife is a “helpmeet” to expand the husband’s life by taking care of the little details he overlooks.

It is not an opportunity to tell him how dumb he is and how you are tired of his ignorance.

It is time of opportunity for you to make him look good to his family, his friends, his co-workers and acquaintances.

His heart has to “safely trust in you.”

DOES IT?!?!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

EARN A HIGHER RETURN ON YOUR MARRIAGE

11 Jan
money sign

EARN A HIGHER RETURN ON YOUR MARRIAGE

Jer.1:5 (NLT)  “I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb”.

Psa.139:13-14 “…you knit me together in my mother’s womb.  I praise you because I’m fearfully and wonderfully made…”

GOD LOVES DIVERSITY!!  These verses prove it!!

In Wall Street, “diversified investments” help improve returns and balance the risk tolerance.  With diversified investments, the possibilities of earning higher returns increases with patience.

They put money in a variety of businesses so if one goes down, they have a better chance of the other ones to go up.

According to Forbes, investors with the best diversification can last in the market longer than individuals placing all their money into one investment vehicle.

One of the greatest challenges in marriage is to have a good relationship with your spouse.

Interacting with a spouse who thinks different than you can be frustrating at times.

Your spouse was not neurologically wired to be like you.

Your spouse has unlimited potential just like you do.

Your spouse was designed intentionally.

The purpose of your giftedness, is to celebrate your differences from your husbands.

No two brains think alike and that is what makes us unique.

There are over a trillion different ways in our brains, of processing information.

CASE AND POINT:  Right now all the people that are reading this blog, each one will think about it differently.  Every person who reads this blog, will process the information differently into their brain.  No one else will process it exactly like you.

Psa.139:14 “We are uniquely, fearfully and wonderfully made.”

As your husbands “companion” and “helpmeet”, you become a vital asset in His succeeding to fulfill God’s purpose in his life.

You become a better companion when you see how your husband is uniquely wired.

You must first understand your gift and true-value in Christ to find peace.

As a created piece of the puzzle, you are making a difference.

Your spouse adds value to your life and you add value to your spouse’s life.

When you have trouble understanding a friend or family member, your spouse can help you out by explaining how the other person may feel.

That gives you insight on how to treat other people.

God has such a great system of information and how to get it to each of us.

Your spouse is such a wealth of information to make your lives successful for each other.

Take advantage of their intelligence.

Or do you knock them down and criticize them for their way of thinking?

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

MAKE SURE YOU’RE REAL

10 Jan

MAKE SURE YOU’RE REAL

Over the years, we have learned that selfish people don’t last long in relationships.  Since we want our union to last, we have found that we need to be authentic, to be real, and to admit when we’re wrong.  Being real simply means admitting the truth, embracing it, and living by it.  It means doing away with false fronts and silly masks.

In addition, we have come to realize that we are not very good listeners.  Yet how can a couple be real if neither mate asks a question or listens carefully to the answer?  How can a spouse feel valued if there is no genuine communication taking place?

The world cries out for people who live in real families, who represent a God who has given them something real—something better than the airbrushed images of Better Homes and Gardens.

How do you deal with household chaos?  Do you put on a happy face and quote verses of Scripture, or do you deal with life in a real way, depending on God for real help?  Pray that your family members will learn and grow as they move toward God’s ideal for them, and they will be real with one another.

NOTE:  This article came from the book Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

SATURDAY QUESTION & ANSWER

9 Jan

SATURDAY QUESTION & ANSWER  

Question #1.  What can I do when my marriage doesn’t meet my expectations?

Answer #1.  When Barbara and I got married, for dinner I expected meat and mounds of mashed potatoes with butter cascading down the sides.  Alas it was not to be!

Barbara leans towards exotic tuna casserole and lots of other things I could not begin to identify, and my expectation soon went up in a puff of smoke.

The truth is, each partner brings a certain set of expectations into a marriage.    When these expectations don’t get met, the drought of disillusionment can dry up the dialogue in the streams of your conversation.  Don’t let it happen to you!

Marriage provides a relationship where two people can hammer out realistic expectations.  Remember, no mate will ever fulfill all of your desires in marriage.  Only One is capable of that, and in His wisdom he has reserved that blessed experience for heaven.

For help here on earth, ask some probing questions.  What expectations of your mate did you bring to your marriage?  Which ones got met?  Which ones didn’t?  How reasonable are they?  What expectation does your spouse have of you?  If you haven’t ever done so, why not consider sitting down and communicating your mutual expectations to each other?  It might be a real eye-opening experience.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

NOTE:  This article is from the book Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

JOB DESCRIPTION FOR SPOUSES

8 Jan
tied up

JOB DESCRIPTION FOR SPOUSES

What kind of a leader is Jesus and how does my marriage benefit from his leadership?

CASE AND POINT:  When my husband and I went to speak at our church in the PHILLIPINES, it was my first time in that country.  I was shocked at the poverty there.  It is a country with so many Natural resources.  In contrast we were in Singapore first.  Singapore is vibrant and filled with new technology and industry. It has no natural resources but it is thriving with business.  What make’s the difference is the leaders in those two countries.  The Phillipines has a history of leaders and politicians who are not giving back to the people in their country but they are filling their pockets for themselves.  While the leaders in Singapore give back to the people of that country plus they give to the growth of the businesses.  Leaders make the difference!

The answer is in Luke 4:18-19.

After Jesus spent 30 years of going to the synagogue and listening to others teach and speak, he finally opens His mouth.

It is of great importance what Jesus has to say!

What are the important words he wants to speak?

He starts by giving His job description!!!!  He quotes Isaiah 61:1-2

Luke 4:18-19  “The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me,

Because He has anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor;

He has sent me to heal the brokenhearted,

To proclaim liberty to the captives and

Recovery of sight to the blind,

To set at liberty those who are oppressed;

to proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord.

Liberty means freedom of choice; personal freedom from servitude or confinement or oppression.

Jesus knew that in our marriage we would have a broken heart that needed MENDING.

Jesus knew that we were sick and blind and needed healing.

Jesus came to break the bonds of captivity.

Acts 10:38  “How God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and with power, who went along doing good and healing all who were oppressed by the devil, for God was with Him.”

Ephesians 6:12 “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.”

Prior preparation for Liberty

  • Desire to be free so you can serve the Lord with a godly marriage.
  • Make sure that you are sincere to God and your spouse.
  • Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal marital areas of bondage or torment.
  • Look over your life (and ancestry) to discover possible doorways.
  • Determine to be free no matter what demonic grip may be on you or your marriage.
  • Don’t be intimidated by “what others think.”
  • Associate liberation with Jesus and freedom.
  • Exercise your faith as much as possible in your marriage.
  • View this as part of God’s gift to you in Christ Jesus.
  • Knowing this may be the beginning of freedom for your family and offspring.

Reread Jesus’ job description in Luke 4:18-19 and know that this is your job description as a spouse.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to make your marriage a success.

HOW TO RECEIVE THE NEGATIVE ISSUES IN MARRIAGE

7 Jan
happy-couple

HOW TO RECEIVE THE NEGATIVE ISSUES IN MARRIAGE

In life and in our marriage we will have mental, emotional and spiritual sufferings.

These are the crosses that we MUST bare daily, yet we are not alone.

God uses these trials to our advantage since the result is discipline and purification.

The Apostle Paul said we are to reckon ourselves dead, as no longer existing, having no will apart from God’s will.

There are three reactions we must overcome:

FIRST REACTION:  Pride

Prov. 16:18 “Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall.”

SECOND REACTION: Anger

Prov.16:32 “He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty.”

THIRD REACTION:  Self-pity

Psa.119:28 “My soul melteth for heaviness; strengthen thou me according unto thy word.”

Here are some progressive stages of dying to yourself:

*  Correct your evil habits in your marriage.

* Stop depending on the feelings of JOY and well-being.

We think that we lose God when we lose our inward joy.

Personal pleasure is not what your moral life consists of.    It is being in unity with the will of God.

Your marriage lives and thrives by faith and not feelings.

*  Crucifying your reliance on your good virtues (moral excellence), temperance, faith, benevolence (kind acts) is a necessary stage.

Dependence on your personal virtues is a form of SELF.

*  Cease rebelling against the negative marital circumstances of life.

Accept them as from the hand of God in order to crucify SELF.

Receive these negative issues with CHEERFULNESS.

*  The natural man is crucified on the cross and now you proceed to a life in union with God and your spouse.

There should be harmony between your will and Gods divine will which results in becoming ONE.

The Apostle Paul said, “I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me.”

Don’t think you can react to your spouse anyway you want and advance in your relationship with God.

You don’t advance in Christ till your soul is transformed.

Partner with the Holy Spirit and you will receive all the benefits of a strong, loving marriage.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be successful.

WIVES, DON’T LIMIT YOURSELF

6 Jan
thrilled

WIVES, DON’T LIMIT YOURSELF

NOTE:  The author is unknown.  Read it with an attitude of conquering and completing what you were made to do.

Rise up woman of God

in what He has given you

The things God has laid on your heart

Rise up,  go forward, and do

Unlock, what God has placed within

The potential you have inside

The world is waiting for your release

To expand your wings and fly

Arise in your God-given gifts

For this is your finest hour

Arise in this Lord’s holy might

Ignited and empowered

For God is calling you to come forth

To impact this world for Him

Don’t hold back or limit yourself

Let His power arise within

And take His message to the world

To those that have lost their way

For you can surely make a difference

If you’d hear His voice and obey

You shall be strengthened in the Lord

As you begin to arise

Conquering those doubts that pull you down

And believe who you are in Christ

For you shall surely be transformed

As, in you, God increases more

And become a woman of true excellence

Bringing honor to her Lord.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

PUT ON YOUR BRIDAL JEWELS NOW!

5 Jan
05-bride-putting-on-earrings-shoes

PUT ON YOUR BRIDAL JEWELS NOW!

Even though every bride prepares her wedding plans and tries to avoid any problems, it doesn’t always turn out the way she desires.

In Isaiah, the verse expresses the anticipation of the bride as she prepares herself and puts on the FINEST of finishing touches.

Isa.61:10 “I will greatly rejoice in the Lord,

My soul shall be joyful in my God;

For He has clothed me with the Garments of salvation,

He has covered me with the robe of Righteousness,

As a bridegroom decks himself with Ornaments,

And as a bride adorns herself with Her jewels.

Every bride has a story that happened on her wedding day that caused her to be a “bridezilla.”

CASE AND POINT:  I have two stories that happened on my wedding day.  We were married in 1969 when girls wore thick false eyelashes.  On the morning of my wedding, I had my eyelashes on the counter ready to put on, my maid of honor was so nervous, she got glue all over my eyelashes and I could not get it off.  I was so mad at her and she was upset that I wasn’t a nervous wreck like her.  It was so funny, not then but now.  The second thing was that my dad never showed up to give me away.  He had left my mom when I was 13 years old.  This was almost seven years later, and he told me he would be there.  After waiting for him, the priest said we had to start the ceremony or not get married.  I asked my younger brother to walk me down the aisle.  I know that incident sounds somewhat tragic but I was just so excited to be marrying the best man in the world.  I was the happiest girl alive that day!

On a brides wedding day, she thinks nothing will ever happen to separate her from her spouse.

You feel like no matter what problems come your way, you will make it through because of the LOVE you have for each other.

Statistics show that 50% of first time marriages don’t make it past the first five years.

What happens when a wife becomes a “wifezilla” after the wedding is over?

This can happen real quick!

Do you let the CHILDREN get in the way of your marriage?

Most couples divorce over finances.

Do you find yourself FIGHTING over finances?

Eph.5:33 “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”

This verse in Ephesians is Gods marriage treaty.

Husbands are to LOVE their wives and wives are to respect their husbands.

There is a book called “Love and Respect” by Emerson Eggerich, that dissects this verse.

This book explains about the “Crazy Cycle.”

When the wife doesn’t want to “respect” her husband, then he doesn’t want to show her “love” by doing the things she wants.

This cycle goes on and on while the marriage goes no where and no one is happy or satisfied.

This is not Gods PLAN for a godly marriage.

Get off the “wifezilla” list because it is time to show the maturity of Christ in your life and in your marriage.

Put on your bridal jewels and show your husband that you are a woman to be cherished!

“I am my beloved’s.”  Song of Solomon 7:10 KJV

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

DOES YOUR DIRTY MARRIAGE NEED BATHING

4 Jan
heart in water

DOES YOUR DIRTY MARRIAGE NEED BATHING

According to God’s word, in order to be blessed, you must have a pure heart.

Matt.5:8  “Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.”

What is considered an impure heart?

A “pure heart” is a heart and mind that is clean.

You or I would be upset if we went to buy a coke and they would put it in a dirty cup yet we allow impurities to stay in our heart.

CASE AND POINT:  The City of Long Beach passed a bill so that they no longer put your purchases in plastic bags.  If you want a paper bag for something you have purchased, you need to pay for it.  I find that very disturbing because this city is so interested in saving our planet from plastic yet we allow abortion clinics that kill our babies.  No one is interested in saving our babies from being brutally murdered in the womb.

We are living in a society that has an “impure heart” yet they live day to day as if everyone is entitled to live their life with no restrictions.

First, a covetous heart is an “impure heart.”

In 1Tim.6:10 covetousness is “…the root of all evil…”

I remember hearing a priest saying that in all the years he has been hearing confessions, that he has never heard anyone confess being covetous.

In the ten commandments God names an array of things we are not to covet.

That tells me than coveting is happening, but we are in denial.

As a spouse, we often see what other partners are doing for their spouse and we feel cheated.

The devil lies to us and tells us we deserve a better life.

This is the spark that leads to covet and ends in a “firey divorce.”

Second, a heart that feels it doesn’t need purity is an “impure heart.”

Rev.3:17 “…I am rich and have need of nothing…”

This type of person looks at life as if they can do everything on their own and has done everything on their own.

This kind of thinking is insane because God has made all of us to need the help of someone else since birth through death.

If you have the attitude that you don’t need your spouse, you are listening to the wrong voice.

You are rejecting the gift that God has given you.

Third, an ignorant heart is an “impure heart.”

Prov.19:2 “…that the heart be ignorant is not good…”

We have an ignorant heart when we don’t read Gods word.

Scriptures are filled with Godly wisdom so that we will not be ignorant to the devils devices.

You only have one life to live, we need to live it with our eyes opened.

CASE AND POINT:  Every baseball player lives to be lucky enough to go to the world series.  That world series ring means everything to them.

This marital life you are living right now is your “world series.”

Live life big, live it godly.

Live it with a “pure heart!”

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

NEVER THREATEN TO LEAVE

3 Jan

NEVER THREATEN TO LEAVE

Several years ago, God gave us the wonderful privilege of helping a couple resurrect a marriage that seemed beyond hope.  Their real commitment to Christ and to each other caused them to grow steadily in their relationship, bringing dramatic changes to their home.

But one day the wife came to us, discouraged once more about their marriage.  Apparently her and her husband had reached an impasse. Each night they argued about the problem,, the husband threatened to leave, a tactic from the past.  He saturated their relationship with the fear that maybe he would follow through this time.

We often tell people that one of the Ten Commandments of marriage should be Never threaten to leave.  As in so many areas of the Christian life, God gave us a memorable example to follow.  Over and over in scripture He tells us He loves us, that He’s committed to us, that He will never leave us or forsake us.  In Ezekiel He says it like this, “I spread my My wig over you and covered your nakedness.  Yes, I swore an oath to you and entered into a covenant with you, and you became Mine” (Ezek.16:8).

Speak such loving, reassuring words to your mate.  Regularly repeat your commitment, describe your love, and offer potent word pictures of your determination to stick together, regardless of what comes.

 And when some problem does arise, —and it will—use the incident as yet another opportunity to reassure your spouse (even in the heat of the battle) that your commitment to the marriage and to the relationship remains firm, solid, and secure.  If God can tell us, “I will not leave you nor forsake you” (Josh.1:5), then we can follow His model and speak words of faithfulness, commitment, and devotion into the lives of our mates.

Also, tell your mate that you’d choose to marry him or her again.  When I have said this to Barbara, she has sometimes responded with, “Really?” At those times she is really saying, “I don’t feel very lovable right now.  In fact, I don’t like myself.  Are you sure you still like me?”  She needs me to to reinforce my love for her.

Why not write a letter that tells your spouse you would marry him or her all over again?  Then read your note to your spouse and thank God for giving you your mate, no matter what problems you may face.  Finish by reaffirming your marriage covenant with God together in prayer.

NOTE:  This article came from the book Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.