THE  CRAZY  CYCLE!

14 Mar

THE  CRAZY  CYCLE!

Do you want some PEACE?  Do you want to be UNDERSTOOD?

Take a few moments to read this post today

This will change your marriage and your life!!

I have to first tell you what I believe to be one of the best, if not the BEST  BOOK ON MARRIAGE.  “Love & Respect”  by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs.

This is a must for every marriage.  I recommend for each spouse to have their own copy and to write in it what God is showing you.

I will try and share some of the comments that are in his book with you.

CASE AND POINT:  This book changed my marriage and gave me the confidence that I could be the wife that I wanted to be and that God wanted me to be.  It is still my decision to apply the principles and Gods word to my marriage.  What I loved best, was the knowledge that I could turn my marriage around just by doing my part.  I don’t need a perfect husband, I just need to be obedient to Gods word!

THIS WORKS SO “LISTEN UP”!!

There is one scripture that will change everything, Ephesians 5:33.

Eph.5:33 “…let everyone of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she respect her husband.”

 

This is God’s MARRIAGE TREATISE and you need to mark it in your bible.

Every month I speak at the Los Angeles County Women’s Jail in Lynwood.  Any woman getting arrested in L.A. County goes to this jail.  Every month I tell the women this verse and tell them how they can turn their marriage around just on their own by respecting their husband.  I also have purchased this book and the chaplain gives them to any wife that asks for it.

For every 100 inmates, there are 200 children that will end up in a divorced home.  The statistics show that 50% of inmates have spouses that divorce them while in jail.  The other 50% who don’t end up divorced, a year after they get released, 75% of them end up in divorce.  So these children are first struggling with a parent being in jail, then they have to cope with living with just one parent or no parents.  After that, then coping with a divorce.  Just one of those issues is traumatic, but they are expected to deal with all three.

 

This is why I go to the jail, and this is the burden that God has laid on my heart.  PLEASE PRAY FOR THESE KIDS!!!

The journey to a satisfying marriage is NEVER OVER, so submit yourself wholeheartedly to Gods design for marriage.

There is no limit to the extent that you can IMPROVE your marriage.

Remember your husband was made to be respected and he expects to be respected.

When respect does not occur, he reacts WITHOUT  LOVE.

This is the CRAZY CYCLE.

Paul is saying in Ephesians 5:33 that wives need love and husbands need respect.

A wife is called to love even an unloving husband but it makes it especially hard to respect him.

The “Crazy Cycle” is described in Eccles.7:25 “…the evil of folly and the foolishness of madness.”

Be careful wives, because expressing dislike to your husband concerning something, can be interpreted as DISRESPECT.

God made us to be a link and he gifted us and entrusted us to do a good job.

YOU GO GIRL!!    We can do all things through Christ!!

FIGHT LIKE A GIRL!

13 Mar

FIGHT LIKE A GIRL!

Today we are going to learn to fight like a girl, wives.

When I first accepted Christ, there was a verse that drove me nuts!!!

I really wanted to rip it out of my bible.

It was Ephesians 5:22 “Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.”

I drew the conclusion that it meant I was not to have an OPINION or a PERSONALITY.

It seemed like everywhere I went, somebody was teaching on “submission.”

BOY WAS I WRONG!! THAT IS NOT WHAT IT MEANS AT ALL!!

The apostle Paul was continuing his thought from Eph.5:21 “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.”

In this scripture Paul was letting everyone know that they must submit to each other in order to accomplish something for the kingdom of God.

In Ephesians 6, Paul had spoke about CHILDREN submitting to their parents.

Paul was trying to show the great importance of the Christian marriage and he expressed the importance of a wife to submit to her husband.

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?

It means that you recognize there is an order of authority in the family.

It shows that you recognize that there is an order of authority in the Christian family and as a wife, you are a part of an ordained TEAM.

You are NOT more important than the working team.

When you submit to God, it means that you recognize that authority.
When you submit to the police, it means that you recognize that authority.
When you submit to your employer, it means that you recognize that authority.

Submission does not means INFERIORITY or SILENCE!!

Submission means sub-mission!!

In other words girls, it means that you are on a MISSION!

WE ARE HERE TO CHANGE THE WORLD!!

Our “mission” is to OBEY and GLORIFY our LORD.

That “mission” is more important than your individual desires.

You are not putting yourself under your husband. You are submitting yourself under the commission of God for your family

.
What do the words mean, ”…as unto the LORD

1. Your submission to your husband is part of your Christian walk.
2. This is a different way of life for you, that sets you apart.
3. This has nothing to do with your husbands intelligence, giftedness or capabilities.
4. This has nothing to do with whether your husband is right on a particular issue. It has to do with Jesus being right.

If you are not married, you better find a guy you can respect. RESPECT!

You might say, “Why should I obey him if I think he is wrong?

SUBMISSION IS TESTED IN DISAGREEMENT!!

How would you know that you are submissive if nothing ever happens in your marriage that you DISAGREE with?

Fight like a girl, fight for your mission!

SUB-MISSION IS A MISSION!
SUB-MISSION IS A MISSION!
SUB-MISSION IS A MISSION! FIGHT FOR YOUR MISSION!

NOTE: Don’t miss tomorrows post. Daily there is a new post.

IT’S BOXING TIME!!! Hurray!!

12 Mar

IT’S BOXING TIME!!! Hurray!!

NO, we are not talking about fights in an arena. No…no.

NOR, are we talking about boxed presents. No!

NO. This is about something that our husbands love to do regularly.

I just learned about this recently and it really helped me to know about it.

In our husbands brain, there is a part, which is for “nothing”

There are absolutely no thoughts about anything in this part of a mans brain.

Does this seem STRANGE? Well, it seems strange to us GIRLS?!?

It definitely DOES NOT seem strange to God!!

Psa.139:13-14 “…thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and  wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works…”.

 

In Mark Gungors dvd called “Laugh your way to a Better Marriage”, he calls this area a “nothing box”.

This is a place where men can go and just EXIST.

This place is his favorite place to be.

I AM TELLING YOU THE TRUTH!!!

In Mark Gungors book, he talks about neurophysiologist Professor Ruben Gur of the University of Pennsylvania. The Professor showed that 70 percent of the electrical activity of men’s brains shut down when they were in a resting state.

SEVENTY PERCENT!!

Women’s brains maintain a full 90 percent of their electrical activity.

OKAY LADIES! HOLD THE CHEERING!!

 

This doesn’t mean that WOMEN are smarter than their husband.

Women are MULTI-TASKERS and they concentrate on several things at the same time.

Your husband, who thinks very intently, has a keen single-minded focus.

Your husband has the ability to focus on one task and EXCEL at it.

This is why we see men in the women’s industries and they are the best in the world. (Chefs, hair designers, clothing designers, etc.)

Men are champions at what they do because they have laser-like PRECISION.

This is because they have the ability to block everything out including their WIVES! Ha!Ha!

That is the part us wives have DIFFICULTY with!!

Wives think ,”This guy is thinking about something and he doesn’t want me to know!” “WHY?!?!?” “I TELL HIM EVERYTHING!!”

HE’S HOLDING OUT ON ME!!

We become mad and the poor guy doesn’t even know what he has done wrong.

He is trying to REST HIS MIND!

Wives, if this is the place that your husband desires to be, then you need to leave him alone!!

 

GO SHOPPING !!!

NOTE: Don’t miss tomorrows post. There is a new post daily.

WIN!!   WIN!!

11 Mar

WIN!!   WIN!!

There are seven things that God hates and arguments are one of them.

Prov.6:16-19  “These things the LORD hates…he that sows discord among brethren.”

All married couples say that it is necessary to argue some of the time.

What does God say?  No!!  Phil.2:14 “Do all things without murmurings and DISPUTING:”

In the Greek, the word “disputing” means DEBATE, DISCUSSION, REASONING, or THOUGHT.

In Phillipians we are told not to complain, debate, or try to reason if it is going to cause arguments with our spouse

Results never turn out good when we argue.  Job.6:25 “How forcible are right words!  What does your ARGUING PROVE?”

If our spouse makes us angry, how should we answer them?   Prov.15:1  “A soft answer turns away wrath: but GRIEVOUS words stirs up anger.”

The word grievous in the Hebrew means PAINFUL.

When we get mad, we start saying all kinds of painful things to our spouse.  We don’t mean to, but we start saying whatever the devil tells us to.

What starts arguments?????????????

Mark 7:21 Jesus said: “For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murder, thefts, covetousness,  wickedness, deceit, lasciviousness, an evil eye, blasphemy (cursing), pride, foolishness:  All these evil things come from within, and defile the man.”

Arguing starts in our hearts.

There is power in agreement!

CASE AND POINT:  I remember about a year ago hearing an interview with Joel and Victoria Osteen.  Victoria said how Joel had bought the kids a BB gun.  One day he went out to their back yard to shoot the gun off with the kids.  She got mad and told him that one of the kids will get hurt.  He told her no they won’t and that everything will be fine.  As he shut the back door, she stood there in her anger.  She said that at that very moment, God spoke to her.  He said that she spoke negative remarks and opened doors for the devil to do what she said.  Instead, God told her that she should have been in agreement with her husband and believe blessings over her children and husband.

We are commanded to quit arguing and to LOVE ONE ANOTHER in Galatians!

Gal.5:14-15 “For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this;  Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.  But if ye bite and devour one another, take heed that ye be not consumed one of another.”

What in the world are we doing biting and devouring each other?

What are you doing biting and devouring YOUR SPOUSE!!

The word “consume” means to DESTROY COMPLETELY.

If you destroy completely, there is nothing left.

If there is nothing left, it ends in DIVORCE.

divorce is a FUNERAL that NEVER ENDS!

You need to have a win-win ATTITUDE!

That means you have to care about your spouse and want them to succeed and also want to succeed yourself.

Wanting your spouse to succeed leaves you with a GOOD FEELING about yourself.

You are not the pit bull next door.    You are his GIRLFRIEND!!

WIN!!   WIN!!!

 NOTE: Don’t miss tomorrow!  There is a new post daily.

SIX  MAJOR  VALUES  YOUR HUSBAND HOLDS

10 Mar

SIX  MAJOR  VALUES  YOUR  HUSBAND  HOLDS

This post was taken directly out of  a book called “Love & Respect” by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs.

I personally think that every married person should have a copy of this book.  It has so many good marriage principles in it.  It has helped me enrich my marriage.

This acronym is from page 184.

C-H-A-I-R-S is an acronym that stands for six major values that your husband holds:

Conquest, you will learn to appreciate his desire to work and achieve.

Hierarchy deals with appreciating his desire to protect and provide.

Authority covers appreciating his desire to  serve and to lead.

Insight touches on appreciating his desire to analyze and counsel.

Relationship helps you understand his desire for shoulder-to-shoulder friendship.

Sexuality explains his desire for sexual intimacy.

NOTE:   Don’t miss tomorrows post.  Daily there is a new post.

SATURDAY  QUESTIONS & ANSWERS 

9 Mar

SATURDAY  QUESTIONS & ANSWERS 

 

Question #1  What is the best way to deal with a spouse that is unemployed?  He  feels depressed about it, and I am the only financial provider in the home.

Answer #1   First of all I want to commend you  on supporting your family during this time of need.  I am sure the devil has thrown every curve ball at you that he has.  He hates marriages and he hates wives that help support their husbands financially.

Your husbands depression is temporary.   Don’t let the devil convince you that God is not in control.  The economy has hit both Christians and non-Christians.  We will survive because we are God’s children.

Let’s take a good look at PSALMS 40:1-3  “…I waited patiently for the LORD; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry.  He brought me up also out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.  And he hath put a new song in my mouth…”

 

These verses are blessingss and rewards for waiting on God.

1.  He turned toward me  (v.1)     God sees you.

2.  He did hear me  (v.1)      God hears you.

3.  He brought me up out of the pit  (v.2)     He is working on your deliverance now.

4.  Out of the miry clay  (2)     What had you stuck, will be removed.

5.  He set my feet upon a rock  (v.2)     He will bring stability.

6.  He established my ways  (v.2)      He will teach you His will.

7.  He put a new song in my mouth.  (v.3)  He will give you a new path.

In Beth Moore’s book, “Get Out of that Pit”  she says there are three things you can do with your mouth:

Cry out to God for help.

Confess not just sin but what is in your heart.

Consent to the process of waiting on God.

Remember, Yahweh Yireh, THE LORD OUR PROVIDER,  is with you!!

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post.  Daily there is a new post.

SHE LOVES ME,  SHE LOVES ME NOT…

8 Mar

SHE LOVES ME,  SHE LOVES ME NOT…

My husband just married a couple this weekend.  I always love to see the grooms face when he sees his bride walking down the aisle.

My father had left our family about 5 years before I got married.  I remember waiting at the back of the church for him to walk me down the aisle.  I was his only daughter, but he never showed up.  One of my little brothers, who was shorter than me, walked me down the aisle because my older brother was in training to leave for the Vietnam war.

Did I care that my dad didn’t come?  No!?!  I was about to marry the greatest man I had ever met.  I was “IN LOVE”!!

Almost all brides and grooms are “IN LOVE”, when they get married.

One of the main questions wives ask me is, “What can I do to love my husband again?”   This is a question that wives ask me all over the world when I give marriage seminars.

It is a scientific fact that there is such a thing as “body chemistry.”  The sad truth is that it is also a scientific fact that it only lasts about 18 months to 2 years.

Thank God he has given us answers in His word on how to handle this.

Gal.5:6”…but faith which works by love.” KJV

The message bible says, “What matters is something far more interior: faith expressed in love.

 

In Beth Moore’s book , she states that if you put Gal.5:6 along side with 2Cor. 5:7 “…we walk by faith…“ this is what you get:

We LIVE by faith,  We LOVE by faith.

 

We have heard that love is not a FEELING, but have we learned it???     LET’S LEARN IT!!!!!!

 

LOVE is a LIFESTYLE!!     Eph.5:2”And walk in love…”

 

This verse tells us to “live love”.

We are to love SACRIFICIALLY !!

CASE AND POINT:  Just like we get up every morning and squeeze the toothpaste out of the tube,  we don’t  just stare at the tube hoping the paste will come out.  I know it sounds ridiculous but lets face it,  we put more work into our face in the morning than we do into our marriage all day.

God so desires to HELP us SQUEEZE His love into our lives.

God will always put people in our lives that for us, are HARD to LOVE.

If you don’t find yourself at sometime feeling the squeeze to “walk in love”, WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE HARD TO LOVE, then you might be living a self-centered life.

As you step out in faith to love the HARD TO LOVE people in your life, Gods Holy Spirit intervenes and does the impossible.  Are you showing love to your spouse, but aren’t seeing any FRUIT from your labor.  DO YOU GIVE UP???

Keep going and showing love because you are living out the scripture, “…faith which worketh by love…”.

 

Those verses would not be in the bible if it was just easy to love everyone all the time.   It’s impossible for us to do that.

But “…with God all things are possible…”

 

You should love your husband even if:

*  You don’t feel like it,

*  He doesn’t deserve it,

*  You get nothing in return.

*  Etc.

God calls all spouses to sacrifice our SELFISHNESS!!

AGAPE , which is the Greek word for love, is when you chose to love as an act of the will.

1Cor.13:8 says that “…love never fails…”

We should love out of OBEDIENCE.

This doesn’t mean that you will get the results you want.

The word “fail“ portrays not having any effect.

When you love YOUR SPOUSE sacrificially, EL ROIthe God who sees me, sees everything.   Yes!!!!   He sees everything!!!

When we love our spouse SACRIFICIALLY in Jesus’ name for His honor and glory, WE CANNOT FAIL.

Are you going to believe Gods word by faith or are you going to obey your emotions?

Love by faith wives, not just by feelings.

Why is loving your spouse so painful and fruitless at times?  Because you are trying to fill up your gas tank with a  little gas can.

Rom.5:5 “…the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts  by the Holy Ghost which is given to us.”

This verse is saying that He will fill your tank up with His love if you daily make a commitment of your will to Him.

DAILY COMMIT YOUR WILL TO GOD!!

1Cor.13:13  “…the greatest …is love.

 

She loves me,  she loves me not,  SHE LOVES ME !!!!!!!!