MAKE SEX A PRIORITY!!

1 Apr

MAKE SEX A PRIORITY!!

An inventor died by the name of Harry Cooper at age 94.  This young chemist, in the 40’s and 50’s, by accident discovered an adhesive which today is known as “Super Glue” and “Instant Crazy Glue.”  From the beginning, it’s remarkable adhesive power has been used for an array of uses:  1.) to seal blood vessels in open heart surgery, 2.) assemble atomic bombs, 3.) leg fractures, 4.) applied to bloody wounds during the Vietnam War, 4.) etc.

One invention has changed the life style for people around the world and has caused a man to be financially set for life.

God our Father, who created (invented) the universe, also created marriage.

As an inventor, God created marital super glue, which is SEX.

Yet with all the books, therapy, clergy, counselors and other help, still over 50% of marriages end in divorce.

To bring some understanding, I will be using comments partly from the book “His needs, her needs” by Williard F. Harley, Jr.  He has collected more than forty thousand questionnaires from clients asking about their sexual history and behavior.

Sex unlocks a man’s EMOTIONS and the woman holds the key.

Harley has found three important differences between men and women when it comes to sex: sexual drive, awareness of their sexuality; and their primary reason to have sex.

1. SEXUAL DRIVE – The average man has a much higher sex drive than the average woman.  This is because the only known aphrodisiac, testosterone, flows in abundance through men while in much shorter supply in women.

Sex usually is a man’s number one emotional need.

2.   SEXUAL AWARENESS – It is the knowledge of how to respond sexually.  Boys tend to explore their sexuality earlier and more often than girls.  By the time they marry, men usually have an advanced sexual understanding than the wife.

Almost every man surveyed enjoyed his first heterosexual encounter, while most women reported finding it a disappointment.

Men know how to respond sexually, while the women haven’t figured it out yet.

The ROOT of many marital problems is that he is more experienced and motivated by strong desires and she is less motivated and experienced.

A man cannot achieve sexual fulfillment in his marriage unless his wife joins him in the sexual experience.

3.  SEXUAL MOTIVATION – With a much higher sex drive, the primary reason men have sex is to relieve their craving.  For women , the primary reason is intimacy and emotional bonding.

Women who are emotionally withdrawn from their husband are notoriously unwilling to have sex with him.

Negotiation begins with a respectful exchange of perspectives, and by discussing these differences with each other.  By searching for ways to make sex fulfilling for both of you, you will be able to find a solution to one of the most common problems in marriage.

SOLVING SEXUAL PROBLEMS

Sexual problems cause tension and unhappiness in many marriages, but these difficulties can be solved pretty easily.

For the wife to enjoy sex, she will need help from her husband.  If he does not communicate his care for her often and effectively, she will feel that he is insensitive and uncaring.

You can’t enjoy your end of a marriage if your spouse can’t enjoy his or her end.

If you care about your spouse, you don’t use or deny your spouse out of selfishness or ignorance.

Meet your spouse’s needs as you would want your spouse to meet yours.

Luke 6:31 “Do to others as you would have them do to you.”

MAKE SEX A PRIORITY!!

The following is an article from “Today’s Christian Woman.”  The author shares about her attitude when her husband wanted to make love more often.  She said, “It just wasn’t one of my priorities.”

“I felt what I did all day was meet other people’s needs.  Whether it was caring for my children, working in ministry, or washing my husband’s clothes, by the end of the day I wanted to be done need-meeting.  I wanted my pillow and a magazine.  But God prompted me:  Are the “needs” you meet for your husband the needs he wants met? I realized my husband never complained when things were not getting done at home. I soon realized I regularly said “no” to the one thing he asked of me.  I sure wasn’t making myself available to my husband by militantly adhering to my plan  for the day… I’d been so focused on what I wanted to get done and what my children needed, I’d cut my hubby out of the picture.”

DO YOU REGULARLY SAY “NO” TO THE ONE THING HE ASKS OF YOU??

DO YOU CUT YOUR HUBBY OUT OF THE PICTURE AT NIGHT?

He put his trust in you when he married you that you would be sexually interested in him.

Has it turned out to be the biggest mistake of his life?

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to make your marriage a success.

YOUR HUSBAND CRAVES THESE THINGS

31 Mar

YOUR HUSBAND CRAVES THESE THINGS

People usually marry because they find each other irresistible—they FALL IN LOVE.

Willard F Harley, Jr. in his book “His needs, Her needs” provides guidance for becoming irresistible to your spouse.

From the information he has accumulated through his research, we will get right to the heart of what makes marriages work—THE FEELING OF LOVE.

In marriage, we must learn to meet each others emotional needs.

The first thing he can’t do without—SEXUAL FULFILLMENT

When a man chooses a wife, he makes this commitment because he trusts her to be as sexually interested in him as he is in her.

Unfortunately, the man finds that putting his trust in this woman has turned into one of the biggest mistakes of his life.

Some husbands tough it out, but many cannot and find SEX ELSEWHERE.

More than half of all married couples go through the agony of unfaithfulness and affairs.

The unfaithful man justifies his behavior by dwelling on the fact that the wife failed to keep her SEXUAL COMMITMENT to him.

Meeting each other’s needs:

a.) Many men lack skill in lovemaking because they fail to understand a woman’s need for affection as part of the sexual process.  When a man learns to be affectionate, his lovemaking will become very different.  The man interested only in satisfying his hunger for sex molest his wife more than anything else, because his technique is insensitive to her feelings.

b.) Many women don’t know how to enjoy meeting a husband’s compelling need for sex.  To satisfy her husband sexually, a wife must also feel satisfied.  Wives should try to make their bodies available to their husbands on a more regular basis but also learn to enjoy the sexual relationship as much as their husband does.

The second thing he can’t do without—RECREATIONAL COMPANIONSHIP

It is not uncommon for single women to join men in pursuing their interests.

After marriage, many wives encourage their husbands to continue their recreational activities WITHOUT THEM.

This is a dangerous choice because men place great importance on recreational activities.  Her interest in his favorite activities helps make enough Love Bank deposits to seal the marriage deal.

There is a risk of your SPOUSE falling in love with whoever turns out to be their recreational companion if they are of the opposite sex.

Engage in only those recreational activities that you and your spouse can enjoy together.

The third thing he can’t do without is a Good-Looking Wife—PHYSICAL ATTRACTIVENESS

A man has a need for an attractive wife and he feels good whenever he looks at his attractive wife.

When this need is not met the husband feels FRUSTRATED.  They appreciate a good-looking wife.

Any woman can enhance her attractiveness to her husband.

Here are FIVE major areas to becoming attractive:

  1. Weight control programs
  2. The use of makeup
  3. A hairstyle he likes
  4. The right clothes
  5. Personal hygiene

Attractiveness is what you do with what you have.

The fourth thing he can’t do without is peace and quiet—DOMESTIC SUPPORT.

A man’s fantasy is that his home life is free of stress and worry.

Not many men would marry a woman who would refuse to manage housework or childcare.

The fifth thing he can’t do without is for you to be proud of him—ADMIRATION

When a woman tells a man she thinks he’s wonderful, that inspires him to achieve more.

He sees himself as CAPABLE of handling new responsibilities and perfecting his skills.

A man thrives on a woman’s admiration.

Instead of making massive Love Bank deposits with admiration, spouses make massive withdrawals with CRITICISM.

Jesus Christ taught us, in Luke 6:31  “Do to others as you would have them do to you.”

The sixth thing he can’t do without is YOU!!!

YESSS!!!!!  He married you to fulfill all of the above.

Did he make a mistake?????   You didn’t deceive him did you?????

During your courtship, you must have given him the idea that you had what it took to be his GIRLFRIEND, CHEERLEADER, FRIENDLY FRIEND AND LOVER  for a lifetime!!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

DO YOU KICK BOX YOUR SPOUSE?

30 Mar

DO YOU KICK BOX YOUR SPOUSE?

Years ago, Clint Eastwood made a movie called “Million Dollar Baby.”  It won a lot of awards at the Academy Awards.  What made this movie unique was a woman was being trained to box.

Today, cage fighting is the biggest-selling event on pay-per-view TV.  The fighter wins by knocking out or putting the opponent in a submission hold by which the opponent gives up, or “taps”, or by decision.  The sport embraces several different fighting techniques which usually involves punching and kicking, the clinch, and grappling.

More women are starting to train for this sport.   A trainer said that one out of 100 women that come in to train, will have “what it takes.”  There is hitting , choking, biting, broken bones, black eyes, and internal injuries as well.

Yuk!   Yuk!  I can think of a lot of other hobbies that would work.  Start with basket weaving.  Lol!!

Many times we find wives using fighting techniques like a cage fighter.

The following is a list of brutality that should never be used in your marriage.

  1. Isolation.  Do you isolate your spouse from their family?
  1. Intimidation.   Do you intimidate through looks, actions, and gestures?  Do you destroy your spouses’ personal property or give them a look like wait till you get home?
  1. Name calling.  This is a prime feature of emotional abuse.
  1. Threats. Do you direct threats to your spouse, your spouses’ family and friends, or threats to harm yourselves to get your way?
  1. Economic abuse.  Do you control family finances and keep your spouse on a weekly allowance while you have financial freedom?  Do you withhold family bank accounts from your spouse?
  1. Minimize violations.  Do you minimize the harmful violations that you are feeling guilty about?  Do you tell your spouse that what you did or said was “No big deal?”
  1. Blaming your spouse.   Do you tell your spouse that they provoked you to behave the way you did?
  1. Using the children.  Do you use your children to send intimidating messages to your spouse?

(Some of the above items from the list were taken out of a book called “Surviving Divorce” by Pamela Weintraub & Terry Hillman)

The behaviors above are found in abusive relationships that very often end in divorce.

If anywhere in the above list you find yourself, there is so much help that can be applied to your life.

The Holy Spirit (your guide, your teacher, your comforter, etc.) desires to help rebuild your marriage and it only takes you to call on Him.

If you feel convicted right now about your behavior, don’t condemn yourself.

In 1Peter, we have the answer.

1Pet.5:8-10  “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:  Whom resist stedfast in the faith, knowing that the same afflictions are accomplished in your brethren that are in the world.  But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, establish, strengthen, settle you.”

The word “sober” in the Greek means TO WATCH.

The word “vigilant’ in the Greek means TO KEEP AWAKE.

You are not a CAGE FIGHTER!!!

The ROARING LION is!!

Don’t you let him tell you that you will never change.

We can all change!

You were not setup for failure.  You are an OVERCOMER!!

Get out of the CAGE!!

Give God a chance!!   I did!!!

Now I have power to tread on roaring lions!!

God PROMISES us in his word to strengthen us!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

LIVE BY THE BLUEPRINT

29 Mar

LIVE BY THE BLUEPRINT

Marriages and families are like the pieces of a puzzle.  Even when the pieces are all there, we need something to help us bring order out of chaos.  We need a box top or a blueprint if we are to fit our lives, marriages and families together in a purposeful design.

Unfortunately, some Christians never stop to evaluate what they are building.  Many give in to the temptation simply to increase the speed at which they jam the pieces of life together.  They rush to get married, , raise kids, and assemble their picture of success, only to find at life’s end that they were using a flawed blueprint—a counterfeit image of life.

Others measure success in the size of the puzzle or number of its pieces, but not in the value of the picture itself.  So they sacrifice order for quality—and the result is discord and disarray, isolation and loneliness, and a picture that never quite comes together.

Consider for a moment what you are building:

Are you building off the right blueprint?  Are decisions that you make about your marriage and family made by using the biblical blueprints?

I’m not asking if you have a perfect marriage or are raising perfect children—only if you are using the blueprint of the Bible and daily consulting the Maker of families as you build your home.

NOTE:  This article was taken from the book Family Life Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to make your marriage a success.

HOPE EVEN IN THE DARKNESS

28 Mar

HOPE EVEN IN THE DARKNESS

REGARDLESS OF HOW GRIM your situation may look—either in your own family or in your community—repentance and faith in God, powered by confidence in His Word, can bring hope to the darkest of days.  That is the lesson of King Josiah (2Kings 22:19).

You experience Gods truth in your family as you apply His Word repeatedly.  When God blesses your faith and obedience, in both trials and triumphs, you will see changes in your family.  Following Christ will not be some sacred theory or once-a-week tradition, but a day-by-day experience with the living Creator of the Universe.  What could be more thrilling than praying for needs as a family and then watching those prayers get answered?

And when you make choices and decisions based on the absolute standard of Scripture, there will be benefits: Peace, harmony, and hope.  When you embrace and proclaim God’s truth, your convictions take root and emerge.  When someone proclaims publicly that which he embraces privately, he takes a hugh step toward maturity and godliness.  No longer  is he satisfied with seeing God work in his life and family; now he becomes a soldier for truth; a conduit of love, grace, and life change in others.

What challenge are you facing today that demands that you embrace God’s Word, step out, and proclaim publicly what you believe?

NOTE:  This article came from the book Family Life Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

FINANCIAL PROBLEMS CAUSE MARITAL PROBLEMS

27 Mar

FINANCIAL PROBLEMS CAUSE MARITAL PROBLEMS

We can talk as spiritual as we want, but if God wants to know what our priorities are, all he has to do is peek in our checkbooks.

Our checkbook has a “blabber mouth”!!

Finances are one of the number one causes of DIVORCE.

God knows this and that is why 10% of the bible is about money.

The bible contains more verses on money than any other subject including prayer.

There are verses on lending, borrowing, saving, selling, buying and contentment on a godly life.

It is vital concern to God that you know how to EARN and MANAGE your own money or you will end up in the devils trap.

In handling money, Jesus talked about money in 16 out of 38 parables.

All money belongs to God.  Haggai 2:8 “The silver is mine, and the gold is mine, says the Lord of Hosts.”

Ok girls, here we go!!  Stay with me!!

I didn’t say that the silver and gold belongs to God, HE DID!!

If, the silver and gold belongs to the Lord, why are you fighting with your spouse over it?

Money should never be allowed to divide you and your spouse.  Psa.9:10 “And they that know thy name will put their trust in thee: for thou, Lord, hast not forsaken them that seek thee.”

You and your husband will never totally agree on how the money should be spent.   So what do you do??

Agree to disagree, lay your concerns on the table, and ask the Holy Spirit to intervene.

This needs to end on a WIN-WIN!

Not just end with you getting your way, but both of you giving and getting.

Your spouse is not in KINDERGARTEN and you are not his mother.

He has a mother so QUIT acting like one.

Remember girlfriend, we have talked about this, HE WORKS HARD!!

LET HIM ENJOY LIFE!!

LET HIM BUY RIDICULOUS TOYS!!

You do!! Let’s peek in that checkbook!

They say wives buy a lot of little things.  Men buy one big thing.

CASE AND POINT:  I know a wife that would not let her husband purchase an investment that he wanted.  She told me he was nuts to spend that extra money.  I told her that it wasn’t silly to him and I actually thought it was a pretty good investment.  She said NO!!  Today they are not together.

In my experience, if a wife won’t let her spouse enjoy his earnings every now and then, what else does she control?

A very spooky thought.

Wives many times are better at being frugal.  Your husband doesn’t care about after he is dead and your second husband having enough spending money.

HE WANTS TO HAVE FUN WITH HIS FAMILY NOW!!!

Wives financial beatitudes

  1. Blessed is the wife who is debt free—for she is truly free.
  1. Blessed is the wife that seeks godly counsel—for she shall receive wisdom.
  1. Blessed is the wife who works as unto the Lord—for she shall stand before kings.
  1. Blessed is the wife of integrity—for she shall have a clear conscience.
  1. Blessed is the wife who tithes, saves and shares—for she shall be able to provide for her family.
  1. Blessed is the wife who shares mercifully—for she shall receive money.
  1. Blessed is the wife who budgets—for she shall have enough at the end of the month.
  1. Blessed is the wife who is a good and faithful steward—for she shall be content in every circumstance.

(Note:  The beattitudes above was tweaked and parts taken from a book called “Woman-a formula for victorious living)

Eccles. 5:10-11 (LB) “He who loves money shall never have enough.  The foolishness of thinking that wealth brings happiness!  The more you have the more you spend, right up to the limits of your income…”

DON’T BE A FOOLISH WIFE!!!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

SPOUSES, DON’T FALL ASLEEP ON THE JOB

26 Mar

                                                                                                  SPOUSES, DON’T FALL ASLEEP ON THE JOB

Sometimes us wives just fall asleep on the job.

We forget how IMPORTANT our position is in the life of our spouse.

Judges 5:12  “Awake, awake, Deborah: awake, awake, utter a song…”

Who is Deborah?

Right now I would like to tell you that if I had to tell you what woman I think is the greatest woman who ever lived, I would have to say Golda Meir.  She was the Prime Minister of Israel.  She was in office when the Six Day War happened in 1967.  The Arabs were always a major threat to the Jews during her duration in office.  The Arabs were going to wipe out all the Jews in Israel but God used her to get the weapons at the last minute so they could defend themselves.  SHE WAS TRULY A WOMAN OF VALOR.

Golda Meir has a remarkable life story!

SO DO YOU!!!!

In Judges 5:12, why were they singing this song to Deborah to wake up?

Who is she?   Is she that important?

Judges 4:4-5 “…And Deborah a prophetess…dwelt under the palm tree…” Deborah was a prophetess who was resting and minding her own business.  She was well known because people would go to her to hear a word from the Lord.

She sent for a commander of the army, Barak, and gave him a message from God.  That message was to get ten thousand men, go after the captain of Jabin’s army, and God would deliver him into Baraks hands.

In verse 8, his response to her was that he would go do it if she went with him and the army.  If she would not go, then he would not do what God wanted him to do.

Deborah told Barak that she would go with him to war, but because she had to go, God was going to let a woman kill Sisera.  Deborah went with the army but it is not recorded that she fought with the men.    In Judges 4:21, a woman named Jael killed the captain of Jabin’s army just like Deborah said the Lord told her.

Why did I mention this story?

It isn’t every day that we hear about a woman being used in such a DANGEROUS POSITION.

Also, God made it a point to have it placed in the Holy Scriptures so that everyone would know about it.

Obviously, God could have used anyone, but he chose to use these two women.

This was SPIRITUAL WARFARE!!

2Cor.10:4  “For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds.”

God has placed at our disposal SPIRITUAL ARTILLARY.

The word “warfare” is taken from the word stratos. The word stratos is where we derive the word strategy.

Spiritual warfare is STRATEGICALLY PLANNED.

Fight like a soldier!

We are to partner along side our husbands and go to war, with God leading the battle.

2Cor.6:1 “We then, as workers together with him…”

In the Greek, it describes workers who are “connected” and “joined” to each other in the pursuit of a shared goal.

You and your husband are not working alone, you are fellow workers with God.

You are not working by yourself for God.

God is with us, working on the same task, at the same time and he is cooperating with us as a PARTNER.

This is exactly why the verse says,  “…workers together with him…”

Barak went to Deborah because she was a professional and not an amateur.

He knew that she was a woman of valor and would stick with him through the battle.

God went before them and gave them VICTORY!!

God is trying to put professionalism in our lives.

In wartime, a THEATER is a region in which active military operations are in progress.  It is the BATTLEFIELDS!

AWAKE!  AWAKE!  AWAKE!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.