NEGATIVE TOXIC THOUGHTS IN MARRIAGE 

15 Jan

Negative-Thoughts-2784432

NEGATIVE TOXIC THOUGHTS IN MARRIAGE 

Every type of emotion comes from one of two roots:  LOVE or FEAR.

This has been proven scientifically and all the data on it can be found in an awesome book called “A Gift Within” by Carolina Leaf.

All other emotions grow from these.

From LOVE flows: joy, peace, happiness, hope, patience, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, self-control, anticipation, compassion, calmness, satisfaction, inspiration, excitement.

From FEAR flows: hate, anger, bitterness, rage, irritation, unforgiveness, unkindness, worry, self-pity, envy, jealousy, obsession and cynicism.

God gives us the choice as to which thoughts you will be operating in.

You cannot blame your spouse if you choose to have your thoughts operating in a pool of FEAR.

1John 4:18 (AMP)  “There is no fear in love (dread does not exist), but full-grown (complete, perfect), love turns fear out of doors and expels every trace of terror!  For fear brings with it the thought of punishment, and so he who is afraid has not reached the full maturity of love (is not yet grown into love’s complete perfection)”.

THIS IS AMAZING:  Scientists have found that these two emotions, love and fear, CANNOT COEXIST.

 WHAT IS AMAZING is the fact that God already said that in 1John 4:18, even before scientist discovered it.

1John 4:18 “There is no fear in love…”.

Science shows us that when we operate in love, there is a massive unlearning of negative toxic thoughts.

  • The brain releases a chemical called, OXYTOCIN, which melts away negative toxic thoughts.
  • This causes re-wiring of new non-toxic circuits.
  • When we trust, bond and reach out to others, this chemical also flows.

LOVE literally wipes out FEAR!!

(Book-A Study in the Neuroscience of Love and Hate/ by Lawrence Erlbaum)

How exciting!!  Science has to prove the word of God to the unbelievers.

As you help your spouse or restore your relationship with your spouse, endorphins and serotonins are released.  These chemicals in our body are what make us feel good about ourselves.

  • So when we reach out in love, God blesses us.
  • He detoxifies our brain and increases our wisdom.
  • Don’t be at the mercy of toxic memories.

Remember:  “Greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world.”

Do you have hate, anger and bitterness towards your spouse?

Do you treat your spouse with rage, irritation, and unforgiveness?

Does self-pity, worry, envy and jealousy run through your vains?

Are unkind words in your vocabulary towards your husband?

You DO NOT have to be at the mercy of toxic memories!

Let God detoxify your brain.  JUST ASK HIM!!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to make your marriage a success.

KILL YOUR DISTORTED SPOUSAL PERSPECTIVE

14 Jan

heart-bottle-love-midalion-Favim.com-470983

KILL YOUR DISTORTED SPOUSAL PERSPECTIVE

Scientific studies have proved that your brain is made up of about 100 billion nerve cells – which look like trees.

All through  the bible, God refers to us as trees in many of the verses.

Psa.1:3  “And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.”

Prov.3:18  “She is a tree of life to them that lay hold upon her…”

The more branches you grow on these nerve cells, the more intelligent you become.

You grow what looks like BRANCHES in your brain as you take in knowledge and store it.

Science has proved that when you are not taking in knowledge, the branches in your brain begin to die.

Hosea 4:6 “My people are destroyed(die) for lack of knowledge”.

When you are able to view your spouse’s gifting, you are now seeing them through Jesus’ eyes.

That is why the question we are asking today is “Do You See What God Sees?” and the answer is “NO”!

If we saw what God sees, we would have more respect for our spouse’s opinion.

If you don’t view your spouse as Jesus sees them, you will want them to CONFORM to your way of thinking.

Your perspective of your spouse becomes distorted because you are now judging and evaluating them according to your view and not God’s handiwork in their life.

In Carolina Leaf’s book, “The Gift Within You”, she scientifically and through God’s word, explains the brain.

Her book is on the brain, but I recommend it to every married couple because of all the knowledge on the way the brain thinks.

When you take information into your brain, 100 billion neurons have the POTENTIAL to connect 100 trillion times.

That is an incredible capacity for thoughts and intelligence.

In order to understand your husband, you would have to know WHICH way a thought has traveled.

It is impossible for you to know which path of thought your spouse’s brain went down and God doesn’t expect you to know that.

God expects you to be UNDERSTANDING without understanding.

Do you try to change your husband?

Don’t get hung up on trying to improve your spouse’s WEAKNESSES.

Instead, learn to support his strengths.

A wife is a “helpmeet” to expand the husband’s life by taking care of the little details he overlooks.

It is not an opportunity to tell him how dumb he is and how you are tired of his ignorance.

It is time of opportunity for you to make him look good to his family, his friends, his co-workers and acquaintances.

His heart has to “safely trust in you.”

DOES IT?!?!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

MAKE SURE YOU’RE REAL

13 Jan

MAKE SURE YOU’RE REAL

Over the years, we have learned that selfish people don’t last long in relationships.  Since we want our union to last, we have found that we need to be authentic, to be real, and to admit when we’re wrong.  Being real simply means admitting the truth, embracing it, and living by it.  It means doing away with false fronts and silly masks.

In addition, we have come to realize that we are not very good listeners.  Yet how can a couple be real if neither mate asks a question or listens carefully to the answer?  How can a spouse feel valued if there is no genuine communication taking place?

The world cries out for people who live in real families, who represent a God who has given them something real—something better than the airbrushed images of Better Homes and Gardens.

How do you deal with household chaos?  Do you put on a happy face and quote verses of Scripture, or do you deal with life in a real way, depending on God for real help?  Pray that your family members will learn and grow as they move toward God’s ideal for them, and they will be real with one another.

NOTE:  This article came from the book Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

SATURDAY QUESTION & ANSWER

12 Jan

SATURDAY QUESTION & ANSWER  

Question #1.  What can I do when my marriage doesn’t meet my expectations?

Answer #1.  When Barbara and I got married, for dinner I expected meat and mounds of mashed potatoes with butter cascading down the sides.  Alas it was not to be!

Barbara leans towards exotic tuna casserole and lots of other things I could not begin to identify, and my expectation soon went up in a puff of smoke.

The truth is, each partner brings a certain set of expectations into a marriage.    When these expectations don’t get met, the drought of disillusionment can dry up the dialogue in the streams of your conversation.  Don’t let it happen to you!

Marriage provides a relationship where two people can hammer out realistic expectations.  Remember, no mate will ever fulfill all of your desires in marriage.  Only One is capable of that, and in His wisdom he has reserved that blessed experience for heaven.

For help here on earth, ask some probing questions.  What expectations of your mate did you bring to your marriage?  Which ones got met?  Which ones didn’t?  How reasonable are they?  What expectation does your spouse have of you?  If you haven’t ever done so, why not consider sitting down and communicating your mutual expectations to each other?  It might be a real eye-opening experience.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

NOTE:  This article is from the book Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

EARN A HIGHER RETURN ON YOUR MARRIAGE

11 Jan

money sign

EARN A HIGHER RETURN ON YOUR MARRIAGE

 

Jer.1:5 (NLT)  “I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb”.

 Psa.139:13-14 “…you knit me together in my mother’s womb.  I praise you because I’m fearfully and wonderfully made…”

GOD LOVES DIVERSITY!!  These verses prove it!!

In Wall Street, “diversified investments” help improve returns and balance the risk tolerance.  With diversified investments, the possibilities of earning higher returns increases with patience.

They put money in a variety of businesses so if one goes down, they have a better chance of the other ones to go up.

According to Forbes, investors with the best diversification can last in the market longer than individuals placing all their money into one investment vehicle.

One of the greatest challenges in marriage is to have a good relationship with your spouse.

Interacting with a spouse who thinks different than you can be frustrating at times.

Your spouse was not neurologically wired to be like you.

Your spouse has unlimited potential just like you do.

Your spouse was designed intentionally.

The purpose of your giftedness, is to celebrate your differences from your husbands.

No two brains think alike and that is what makes us unique.

There are over a trillion different ways in our brains, of processing information.

CASE AND POINT:  Right now all the people that are reading this blog, each one will think about it differently.  Every person who reads this blog, will process the information differently into their brain.  No one else will process it exactly like you.

Psa.139:14 “We are uniquely, fearfully and wonderfully made.”

As your husbands “companion” and “helpmeet”, you become a vital asset in His succeeding to fulfill God’s purpose in his life.

You become a better companion when you see how your husband is uniquely wired.

You must first understand your gift and true-value in Christ to find peace.

As a created piece of the puzzle, you are making a difference.

Your spouse adds value to your life and you add value to your spouse’s life.

When you have trouble understanding a friend or family member, your spouse can help you out by explaining how the other person may feel.

That gives you insight on how to treat other people.

God has such a great system of information and how to get it to each of us.

Your spouse is such a wealth of information to make your lives successful for each other.

Take advantage of their intelligence.

Or do you knock them down and criticize them for their way of thinking?

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

JOB DESCRIPTION FOR SPOUSES

10 Jan

tied up

JOB DESCRIPTION FOR SPOUSES

What kind of a leader is Jesus and how does my marriage benefit from his leadership?

CASE AND POINT:  When my husband and I went to speak at our church in the PHILLIPINES, it was my first time in that country.  I was shocked at the poverty there.  It is a country with so many Natural resources.  In contrast we were in Singapore first.  Singapore is vibrant and filled with new technology and industry. It has no natural resources but it is thriving with business.  What make’s the difference is the leaders in those two countries.  The Phillipines has a history of leaders and politicians who are not giving back to the people in their country but they are filling their pockets for themselves.  While the leaders in Singapore give back to the people of that country plus they give to the growth of the businesses.  Leaders make the difference!

The answer is in Luke 4:18-19.

After Jesus spent 30 years of going to the synagogue and listening to others teach and speak, he finally opens His mouth.

It is of great importance what Jesus has to say!

What are the important words he wants to speak?

He starts by giving His job description!!!!  He quotes Isaiah 61:1-2

 Luke 4:18-19  “The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me,

Because He has anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor;

He has sent me to heal the brokenhearted,

To proclaim liberty to the captives and

Recovery of sight to the blind,

To set at liberty those who are oppressed;

to proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord.

Liberty means freedom of choice; personal freedom from servitude or confinement or oppression.

Jesus knew that in our marriage we would have a broken heart that needed MENDING.

Jesus knew that we were sick and blind and needed healing.

Jesus came to break the bonds of captivity.

Acts 10:38  “How God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and with power, who went along doing good and healing all who were oppressed by the devil, for God was with Him.”

Ephesians 6:12 “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.”

 

Prior preparation for Liberty

  • Desire to be free so you can serve the Lord with a godly marriage.
  • Make sure that you are sincere to God and your spouse.
  • Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal marital areas of bondage or torment.
  • Look over your life (and ancestry) to discover possible doorways.
  • Determine to be free no matter what demonic grip may be on you or your marriage.
  • Don’t be intimidated by “what others think.”
  • Associate liberation with Jesus and freedom.
  • Exercise your faith as much as possible in your marriage.
  • View this as part of God’s gift to you in Christ Jesus.
  • Knowing this may be the beginning of freedom for your family and offspring.

Reread Jesus’ job description in Luke 4:18-19 and know that this is your job description as a spouse.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to make your marriage a success.

HOW TO RECEIVE THE NEGATIVE ISSUES IN MARRIAGE 

9 Jan

happy-couple

HOW TO RECEIVE THE NEGATIVE ISSUES IN MARRIAGE 

In life and in our marriage we will have mental, emotional and spiritual sufferings.

These are the crosses that we MUST bare daily, yet we are not alone.

God uses these trials to our advantage since the result is discipline and purification.

The Apostle Paul said we are to reckon ourselves dead, as no longer existing, having no will apart from God’s will.

There are three reactions we must overcome:

FIRST REACTION:  Pride

Prov. 16:18 “Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall.”

SECOND REACTION: Anger

Prov.16:32 “He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty.”

THIRD REACTION:  Self-pity

Psa.119:28 “My soul melteth for heaviness; strengthen thou me according unto thy word.”

Here are some progressive stages of dying to yourself:

*  Correct your evil habits in your marriage.

* Stop depending on the feelings of JOY and well-being.

We think that we lose God when we lose our inward joy.

Personal pleasure is not what your moral life consists of.    It is being in unity with the will of God.

Your marriage lives and thrives by faith and not feelings.

*  Crucifying your reliance on your good virtues (moral excellence), temperance, faith, benevolence (kind acts) is a necessary stage.

Dependence on your personal virtues is a form of SELF.

*  Cease rebelling against the negative marital circumstances of life.

Accept them as from the hand of God in order to crucify SELF.

Receive these negative issues with CHEERFULNESS.

*  The natural man is crucified on the cross and now you proceed to a life in union with God and your spouse.

There should be harmony between your will and Gods divine will which results in becoming ONE.

The Apostle Paul said, “I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me.”

Don’t think you can react to your spouse anyway you want and advance in your relationship with God.

You don’t advance in Christ till your soul is transformed.

Partner with the Holy Spirit and you will receive all the benefits of a strong, loving marriage.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be successful.