10 Mar


SOMETHING MEMORABLE HAPPENS to almost all newlyweds.  A husband or wife assembles a pile of bills and receipts, looks at the checkbook balance—and then breaks into a cold sweat! If the differing expectations and value systems present in every new home have not collided before now, they are about to.

There’s no question that differing ways of handling money cause stress in most marriages.  While most of us want to believe that our only real money problem is not having enough, deep down, we all know a lack of money is not the real issue.  We need the knowledge and discipline to use wisely the money we already have.

God uses money to test us.  He certainly did this with Gehazi, the servant of Elisha—a man who failed the test and who paid dearly for it (2Kings 5:26).  God tests us to see whether we are going to trust Him to supply our needs.

We need to remember some of what the Scripture teaches about money:

#1.  We are stewards, not owners, of money (Matt.25:14-29).  All our wealth comes from God and we need to acknowledge that He has given us money to manage wisely.

#2.  Our use of money is a measure of where our hearts are.  If you want to know your real values, study your checkbook records and see where you spend money.

#3.  Giving is not optional.  Most understand that the Scriptures teach us to tithe.  That’s a good beginning point.  As a husband and wife, you should frequently reassess where you are investing.  The Bible is clear that investing in God’s work is imperishable.

Money is part of life, not its essence or goal.  If we keep our attention on God and His objectives, then we will walk in obedience and help build His kingdom, and He will richly supply our needs (1Tim.6:17,18).

NOTE:  This article came from the book “Family Life and Marriage Bible” by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post that will help make your marriage a success!



9 Mar



My husband just married a couple this weekend.  I always love to see the grooms face when he sees his bride walking down the aisle.

My father had left our family about 5 years before I got married.  I remember waiting at the back of the church for him to walk me down the aisle.  I was his only daughter, but he never showed up.  One of my little brothers, who was shorter than me, walked me down the aisle because my older brother was in training to leave for the Vietnam war.

Did I care that my dad didn’t come?  No!?!  I was about to marry the greatest man I had ever met.  I was “IN LOVE”!!

Almost all brides and grooms are “IN LOVE”, when they get married.

One of the main questions wives ask me is, “What can I do to love my husband again?”   This is a question that wives ask me all over the world when I give marriage seminars.

It is a scientific fact that there is such a thing as “body chemistry.”  The sad truth is that it is also a scientific fact that it only lasts about 18 months to 2 years.

Thank God he has given us answers in His word on how to handle this.

Gal.5:6”…but faith which works by love.” KJV

The message bible says, “What matters is something far more interior: faith expressed in love.


In Beth Moore’s book , she states that if you put Gal.5:6 along side with 2Cor. 5:7 “…we walk by faith…“ this is what you get:

We LIVE by faith,  We LOVE by faith.


We have heard that love is not a FEELING, but have we learned it???     LET’S LEARN IT!!!!!!

LOVE is a LIFESTYLE!!     Eph.5:2”And walk in love…”

This verse tells us to “live love”.

We are to love SACRIFICIALLY !!

CASE AND POINT:  Just like we get up every morning and squeeze the toothpaste out of the tube,  we don’t  just stare at the tube hoping the paste will come out.  I know it sounds ridiculous but lets face it,  we put more work into our face in the morning than we do into our marriage all day.

God so desires to HELP us SQUEEZE His love into our lives.

God will always put people in our lives that for us, are HARD to LOVE.

If you don’t find yourself at sometime feeling the squeeze to “walk in love”, WITH PEOPLE WHO ARE HARD TO LOVE, then you might be living a self-centered life.

As you step out in faith to love the HARD TO LOVE people in your life, Gods Holy Spirit intervenes and does the impossible.  Are you showing love to your spouse, but aren’t seeing any FRUIT from your labor.  DO YOU GIVE UP???

Keep going and showing love because you are living out the scripture, “…faith which worketh by love…”.


Those verses would not be in the bible if it was just easy to love everyone all the time.   It’s impossible for us to do that.

But “…with God all things are possible…”


You should love your husband even if:

*  You don’t feel like it,

*  He doesn’t deserve it,

*  You get nothing in return.

*  Etc.

God calls all spouses to sacrifice our SELFISHNESS!!

AGAPE , which is the Greek word for love, is when you chose to love as an act of the will.

1Cor.13:8 says that “…love never fails…”

We should love out of OBEDIENCE.

This doesn’t mean that you will get the results you want.

The word “fail“ portrays not having any effect.

When you love YOUR SPOUSE sacrificially, EL ROIthe God who sees me, sees everything.   Yes!!!!   He sees everything!!!

When we love our spouse SACRIFICIALLY in Jesus’ name for His honor and glory, WE CANNOT FAIL.

Are you going to believe Gods word by faith or are you going to obey your emotions?

Love by faith wives, not just by feelings.

Why is loving your spouse so painful and fruitless at times?  Because you are trying to fill up your gas tank with a  little gas can.

Rom.5:5 “…the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts  by the Holy Ghost which is given to us.”

This verse is saying that He will fill your tank up with His love if you daily make a commitment of your will to Him.


1Cor.13:13  “…the greatest …is love.

She loves me,  she loves me not,  SHE LOVES ME !!!!!!!!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.


8 Mar


FINDING SPARE TIME                 


When surveyed, 70% of women said that they don’t have enough time to do everything that they are supposed to do.

This statistic along with many other comments used in todays post, were found in a book called, ”Lies Woman Believe” by Nancy Leigh Demoss.

The average woman today has the equivalent of fifty full time servants, in the form of modern time-saving devices and equipment.

CASE AND POINT:  When my husband and I moved to England in the early 80’s as missionaries, I remember that our home reminded me of my grandmothers house in the 50’s.  Our kitchen in England didn’t have a garbage disposal, no electric can opener or toaster.

I am sure that these items were available, it was just that they were not standard equipment.  There were many items at that time that we thought were very primitive there.   However, now it looks like they have passed up the U.S.A. in their technology and modernization.

Jesus Himself had a long “to do list” yet he managed to accomplish it in a short time.  At the end of Jesus life, He was able to say,”…I have finished the work which thou gavest me to do.” John17:4 KJV


I don’t know about you, but when I go to bed at night, I never say “I have finished my work.”   I usually make my  “to do list” and add everything I didn’t do that day, onto my list for the next day.

In Jesus words, we find a powerful truth.  Notice the truth that Jesus finished in his 33 years of life.

Notice what work Jesus completed, “I have finished the work which thou gavest me to do.”  Jn.17:4 KJV


Jesus secret was that he did not do the things that his disciples wanted him to do, or the multitudes, but only what God wanted him to do.

There will always be time to do the things that are on Gods “to do list”.

When you let others determine the priorities for your life, rather than discerning what God wants you to do, you will end up in piles of undone or poorly done projects.

You will live with GUILT and FRUSTRATION, rather than enjoying a peaceful life.

Don’t get confused trying to help somebody do what God has called them to do and then ignore what you are supposed to be doing.

If this sounds like you, then you are wearing to many hats.

Keep in mind that at different seasons in your life YOU will have different priorities than other times.

You will end up exhausted and overwhelmed trying to be the perfect mom., wife, housekeeper and hold down a full-time  job.

NO WOMAN CAN WEAR ALL THOSE HATS!!!!  If you try, someone or something or you will suffer.

Frustration is the result of trying to fulfill responsibilities that God did not intend for you to do.

Fruitfulness and joy are the result of fulfilling Gods intention for your life.

How often do you have a crazy hat day?? Is it once a week or every day??


Can we be honest?  You are probably looking and acting ridiculous.

Several years ago my husband was invited to preach in Cuba.  At the airport in Miami we could not believe our eyes.  Cubans going back home could not afford to pay for the extra baggage, so they wore the clothing home.  I’m talking five skirts, 7 blouses and sweaters, 10 hats and all that on one person.  The airline employees were laughing. My husband and I were laughing.  The Cubans themselves were hysterically laughing.  Although they could barely walk, they didn’t care cause they just wanted to get across the gate and get on that plane.

That must be what God sees but no one is laughing.

I have an assignment for you.

Take off those hats!!  Your spouse wants to see what you look like.

He hasn’t seen his bride in a long time.     JUST ASK HIM!!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.


7 Mar


Well, do we get DOUBLE FOR our TROUBLE?

Lets see what Gods word says?   Keep in mind that God is always looking for ways to bless His children just like we do with our children.

Isa.61:7  “For your shame ye shall have double; and for confusion they shall rejoice in their portion: therefore in their land they shall possess the doubleeverlasting joy shall be unto them.”

In Hebrew, the word “shame”  also means CONFUSION as well.

In Hebrew, the word “double” is pronounced mishneh and means a copy.  It also refers to move up in RANK or QUALITY: TWICE AS MUCH.

There are so many things that thrill me about this verse and what it refers to in Hebrew.  Because we are not God, it would be ridiculous for us to try to draw a conclusion as to what the word double is referring to.

When you decide to let your spouse go first, you get DOUBLE!

When you decide to let your spouse win the fight, you get double!

When you decide to do something nice for him, even if he doesn’t deserve  it, you get DOUBLE!

When you decide to visit your in-laws with him, you get double!

When you decide to let something go that you feel should be addressed, you get DOUBLE!

When your spouse asks you to do something that he could do himself, but  you decide to do it anyway without an attitude, you get double!

When your spouse makes a decision but you let it go even though you feel  anxious about it, you get DOUBLE!

I can go all day on situations, because my list is endless.

When you agree to go through anything in your lifetime, God has agreed to rain blessings into your life.

Zech.9:12   “…today I will restore double to you.”

In Psalms 102, we see how trouble affects our human parts.


vs.1  “…let my cry come unto thee.”



vs.2  “Hide not thy face from me in the day when I am in trouble:  incline thine ear unto me: in the day when I call    answer me speedily.”


vs.3 “…my bones are burned as an hearth.”



vs.4  “My heart is smitten, and withered like grass;”



vs.4  “…I forget to eat my bread.”


When your marriage is in turmoil, it is very easy to feel so many different physical ailments.

In the book of Nahum,  it shows that when you reach out to God in the times of trouble, he comforts you with goodness.

Nahum 1:7  “The Lord is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble; and he knoweth them that trust in him”

1.  The Lord is good.

2.  A stronghold in the day of trouble.

3.  He knows them that trust in him.

GOD DOES NOT FORGET US!!!!  He wants to help us with our marriage.

God promises us, DOUBLE FOR OUR TROUBLE!!!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be successful.


6 Mar


We already discussed meekness.

Developing meekness assists us so “we are not angered” by others.

Developing a quiet spirit assists us so “we don’t anger” others.

1Pet.3:4 “…The ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.”

Listen to Proverbs.

Prov.16:23 “The heart of the wise instructs his mouth.”

This is saying learn to LISTEN!

When you listen to your spouse, you understand them better because you are learning about them.

What happens when you listen?

YOU: Learn, understand and act rather than react.
SPOUSE: Feels understood, opens up more and gets healed.

We need to STOP, and LISTEN so that we can hear and understand our partners concerns.

Prov.10:31-32 “The mouth of the righteous flows with wisdom…The lips of the righteous brings forth what is acceptable.

Prov.15:23 NLT “Everyone enjoys a fitting reply; it is wonderful to say the right thing at the right time.”

As a wife, you can tell when you have said the right thing and have spoken into your husbands life.

Prov.25:15 “Patience and gentle talk can convince a ruler and overcome any problem.”

James 1:19 “…let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:”

The word “hear” in the Greek, means to UNDERSTAND.

Prov.18:15 “The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge, the ears of the wise seek it out.”

Listening is part of the burden process.

Gal.6:2 “Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”

You cannot bear one another’s burdens till you know what they are.

By listening you will learn.

Here are the listening steps:

1. Your spouse tells you their concerns and what is happening in their life.
2. You listen
3. Your spouse feels understood and shares even more.
4. You understand your spouse better, and fervently pray for them.
5. They gain insight and get healed, which empowers them.

James 5:16 “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.”

I know you think your husband is the “Ironman” but empathize with him.

He will LOVE YOU for it!!! You forgot already? You’re his GIRLFRIEND!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.


5 Mar


I remember those words growing up with five brothers.  My mother always suffered with headaches but if I had five sons I probably would have headaches too.  Lol!!  She slept in the living room, so as we would be making our breakfast, the famous words were, “Can’t you keep the noise down?”  As I remember it, telling that to five boys made noise making even more adventurous for them to up it a couple of octaves.

At the academy awards, the “Kings Speech” won best picture.  We were so excited for England since we were missionaries in England for five years and have an abundance of  love for that country.

Today I would like to talk about a “Wives Speech.”  I found that 1Peter is the perfect verse to use.

1Peter 3:3,4 “Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of GREAT PRICE.”

Wow!  Wow!  Wow!  These verses say it all!

The word “meek” in Greek is pronounced prah-ooce’ which means MILD.

The word “quiet” in Greek means to KEEP STILL in one’s seat, UNDISTURBED and PEACEABLE.

These verses are saying that God loves to see the meek and quiet spirit at work in our lives.

The “outward adorning” is the Greek word Kosmos which the word cosmetics comes from.

Here are some ways to acquire the attitude of MEEKNESS.

1.  Ask God to remove any roots of stubbornness or aggression in you.

2.  Ask God to give you situations in which you can practice meekness.


In Rick Renners book “Sparkling Gems”, he talks about when he was in a church in the city of Kiev in the Ukraine.  They were at this large table having borsch, which is a soup.  There was an elderly lady there serving the borsch.  She was about seventy-five years old and had very deep wrinkles.  He could tell that she had a very hard life.  He asked the pastor who she was.  The pastor said with a sparkle in his eyes and a glowing face, that she was his wife.  He began to tell Rick how this woman waited 15 years for him while he was doing a prison sentence.  (In Russia, they put you in jail for the slightest thing.)  He also stated that during that time, she was responsible for rearing and providing for their 15 children.

As I was thinking about sharing this story with you, I thought about this woman.  I don’t know if she is still alive.  I don’t know but her children have to be.  Can you imagine them reading this blog right now and saying to themselves that their mother would have never thought her story would be going around the world.

She just did what she could, with what she had.

That pastors love goes beyond her looks.  She let it be “the hidden man of the heart, in which is not corruptible.”

The next time you are adorning yourself with perfume, makeup, and attractive clothing, stop and check your spirit.

Are you meek?  Or are you acting rude, selfish and prideful towards your husband?

Does your husband have that sparkle in his eyes and a glow on his face?

You can put it there today!!  Go on girl, you are his GIRLFRIEND!!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.


4 Mar


As difficult as it is to ask for forgiveness, it can be even more difficult at times to grant forgiveness to someone who has wronged you.  And this is every bit as true in marriage—maybe even more so—than it is in any other relationship.

I often advise married couples to take out a joint membership in the Seventy Times Seven Club.  This club began when Peter asked Jesus how many times we must forgive one another.  Peter wondered if seven times would be enough?  Christ answered, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven” (Matt.18:22).  In other words, forgive an infinite number of times, not just when you feel like it.

You can tell when you have forgiven your spouse by asking yourself one simple question:  Have I given up my desire to punish my mate?  When you say aside that desire and no longer seek revenge, you free your spouse and yourself from the bonds of your anger.

Forgiveness cannot be conditional.  Once you forgive, that’s it.  Feelings may still be raw, and it is not hypocritical to feel as though you don’t want to forgive your spouse.  If someone has hurt you, you can choose to forgive immediately, but still be processing feelings of disappointment or rejection.  Forgiveness is a choice, an act of the will—not an emotion.  It may take a while for your feelings to catch up with your will.  But your will needs to respond to the scriptural mandate to forgive your spouse.

If you’re not careful, you may dilute the power of forgiveness.  How many times have you heard someone say, “I’m sorry I offended you; will you forgive me?”  And the other person quickly says without apparent reflection, “Sure, I forgive you!”  The two people move on, but then the offender offense again, and the scenario repeats, perhaps many times.

Such behavior mocks authentic forgiveness.  I believe tough love must break this cycle by saying, “You know, if you are really serious about being sorry, your actions need to show some believable repentance.”

While a mate can administer this “love with teeth,” outside help may also be needed, particularly in the early years of marriage. Most churches offer counseling to couples experiencing marital stresses.  Or you may ask an older couple to serve as marriage mentors.  If problems persist and forgiveness is absent, tell someone.  Seek help!

Forgiveness is one of the disciplines in marriage that must be practiced for a lifetime.  No marriage can be all that God intended without it.

NOTE:  This article was taken from the book “Family Life and Marriage Bible” by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.