HOW TO RECEIVE THE NEGATIVE ISSUES IN MARRIAGE

7 Jan
happy-couple

HOW TO RECEIVE THE NEGATIVE ISSUES IN MARRIAGE

In life and in our marriage we will have mental, emotional and spiritual sufferings.

These are the crosses that we MUST bare daily, yet we are not alone.

God uses these trials to our advantage since the result is discipline and purification.

The Apostle Paul said we are to reckon ourselves dead, as no longer existing, having no will apart from God’s will.

There are three reactions we must overcome:

FIRST REACTION:  Pride

Prov. 16:18 “Pride goes before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall.”

SECOND REACTION: Anger

Prov.16:32 “He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty.”

THIRD REACTION:  Self-pity

Psa.119:28 “My soul melteth for heaviness; strengthen thou me according unto thy word.”

Here are some progressive stages of dying to yourself:

*  Correct your evil habits in your marriage.

* Stop depending on the feelings of JOY and well-being.

We think that we lose God when we lose our inward joy.

Personal pleasure is not what your moral life consists of.    It is being in unity with the will of God.

Your marriage lives and thrives by faith and not feelings.

*  Crucifying your reliance on your good virtues (moral excellence), temperance, faith, benevolence (kind acts) is a necessary stage.

Dependence on your personal virtues is a form of SELF.

*  Cease rebelling against the negative marital circumstances of life.

Accept them as from the hand of God in order to crucify SELF.

Receive these negative issues with CHEERFULNESS.

*  The natural man is crucified on the cross and now you proceed to a life in union with God and your spouse.

There should be harmony between your will and Gods divine will which results in becoming ONE.

The Apostle Paul said, “I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me.”

Don’t think you can react to your spouse anyway you want and advance in your relationship with God.

You don’t advance in Christ till your soul is transformed.

Partner with the Holy Spirit and you will receive all the benefits of a strong, loving marriage.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be successful.

WIVES, DON’T LIMIT YOURSELF

6 Jan
thrilled

WIVES, DON’T LIMIT YOURSELF

NOTE:  The author is unknown.  Read it with an attitude of conquering and completing what you were made to do.

Rise up woman of God

in what He has given you

The things God has laid on your heart

Rise up,  go forward, and do

Unlock, what God has placed within

The potential you have inside

The world is waiting for your release

To expand your wings and fly

Arise in your God-given gifts

For this is your finest hour

Arise in this Lord’s holy might

Ignited and empowered

For God is calling you to come forth

To impact this world for Him

Don’t hold back or limit yourself

Let His power arise within

And take His message to the world

To those that have lost their way

For you can surely make a difference

If you’d hear His voice and obey

You shall be strengthened in the Lord

As you begin to arise

Conquering those doubts that pull you down

And believe who you are in Christ

For you shall surely be transformed

As, in you, God increases more

And become a woman of true excellence

Bringing honor to her Lord.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

PUT ON YOUR BRIDAL JEWELS NOW!

5 Jan
05-bride-putting-on-earrings-shoes

PUT ON YOUR BRIDAL JEWELS NOW!

Even though every bride prepares her wedding plans and tries to avoid any problems, it doesn’t always turn out the way she desires.

In Isaiah, the verse expresses the anticipation of the bride as she prepares herself and puts on the FINEST of finishing touches.

Isa.61:10 “I will greatly rejoice in the Lord,

My soul shall be joyful in my God;

For He has clothed me with the Garments of salvation,

He has covered me with the robe of Righteousness,

As a bridegroom decks himself with Ornaments,

And as a bride adorns herself with Her jewels.

Every bride has a story that happened on her wedding day that caused her to be a “bridezilla.”

CASE AND POINT:  I have two stories that happened on my wedding day.  We were married in 1969 when girls wore thick false eyelashes.  On the morning of my wedding, I had my eyelashes on the counter ready to put on, my maid of honor was so nervous, she got glue all over my eyelashes and I could not get it off.  I was so mad at her and she was upset that I wasn’t a nervous wreck like her.  It was so funny, not then but now.  The second thing was that my dad never showed up to give me away.  He had left my mom when I was 13 years old.  This was almost seven years later, and he told me he would be there.  After waiting for him, the priest said we had to start the ceremony or not get married.  I asked my younger brother to walk me down the aisle.  I know that incident sounds somewhat tragic but I was just so excited to be marrying the best man in the world.  I was the happiest girl alive that day!

On a brides wedding day, she thinks nothing will ever happen to separate her from her spouse.

You feel like no matter what problems come your way, you will make it through because of the LOVE you have for each other.

Statistics show that 50% of first time marriages don’t make it past the first five years.

What happens when a wife becomes a “wifezilla” after the wedding is over?

This can happen real quick!

Do you let the CHILDREN get in the way of your marriage?

Most couples divorce over finances.

Do you find yourself FIGHTING over finances?

Eph.5:33 “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”

This verse in Ephesians is Gods marriage treaty.

Husbands are to LOVE their wives and wives are to respect their husbands.

There is a book called “Love and Respect” by Emerson Eggerich, that dissects this verse.

This book explains about the “Crazy Cycle.”

When the wife doesn’t want to “respect” her husband, then he doesn’t want to show her “love” by doing the things she wants.

This cycle goes on and on while the marriage goes no where and no one is happy or satisfied.

This is not Gods PLAN for a godly marriage.

Get off the “wifezilla” list because it is time to show the maturity of Christ in your life and in your marriage.

Put on your bridal jewels and show your husband that you are a woman to be cherished!

“I am my beloved’s.”  Song of Solomon 7:10 KJV

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

DOES YOUR DIRTY MARRIAGE NEED BATHING

4 Jan
heart in water

DOES YOUR DIRTY MARRIAGE NEED BATHING

According to God’s word, in order to be blessed, you must have a pure heart.

Matt.5:8  “Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.”

What is considered an impure heart?

A “pure heart” is a heart and mind that is clean.

You or I would be upset if we went to buy a coke and they would put it in a dirty cup yet we allow impurities to stay in our heart.

CASE AND POINT:  The City of Long Beach passed a bill so that they no longer put your purchases in plastic bags.  If you want a paper bag for something you have purchased, you need to pay for it.  I find that very disturbing because this city is so interested in saving our planet from plastic yet we allow abortion clinics that kill our babies.  No one is interested in saving our babies from being brutally murdered in the womb.

We are living in a society that has an “impure heart” yet they live day to day as if everyone is entitled to live their life with no restrictions.

First, a covetous heart is an “impure heart.”

In 1Tim.6:10 covetousness is “…the root of all evil…”

I remember hearing a priest saying that in all the years he has been hearing confessions, that he has never heard anyone confess being covetous.

In the ten commandments God names an array of things we are not to covet.

That tells me than coveting is happening, but we are in denial.

As a spouse, we often see what other partners are doing for their spouse and we feel cheated.

The devil lies to us and tells us we deserve a better life.

This is the spark that leads to covet and ends in a “firey divorce.”

Second, a heart that feels it doesn’t need purity is an “impure heart.”

Rev.3:17 “…I am rich and have need of nothing…”

This type of person looks at life as if they can do everything on their own and has done everything on their own.

This kind of thinking is insane because God has made all of us to need the help of someone else since birth through death.

If you have the attitude that you don’t need your spouse, you are listening to the wrong voice.

You are rejecting the gift that God has given you.

Third, an ignorant heart is an “impure heart.”

Prov.19:2 “…that the heart be ignorant is not good…”

We have an ignorant heart when we don’t read Gods word.

Scriptures are filled with Godly wisdom so that we will not be ignorant to the devils devices.

You only have one life to live, we need to live it with our eyes opened.

CASE AND POINT:  Every baseball player lives to be lucky enough to go to the world series.  That world series ring means everything to them.

This marital life you are living right now is your “world series.”

Live life big, live it godly.

Live it with a “pure heart!”

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

NEVER THREATEN TO LEAVE

3 Jan

NEVER THREATEN TO LEAVE

Several years ago, God gave us the wonderful privilege of helping a couple resurrect a marriage that seemed beyond hope.  Their real commitment to Christ and to each other caused them to grow steadily in their relationship, bringing dramatic changes to their home.

But one day the wife came to us, discouraged once more about their marriage.  Apparently her and her husband had reached an impasse. Each night they argued about the problem,, the husband threatened to leave, a tactic from the past.  He saturated their relationship with the fear that maybe he would follow through this time.

We often tell people that one of the Ten Commandments of marriage should be Never threaten to leave.  As in so many areas of the Christian life, God gave us a memorable example to follow.  Over and over in scripture He tells us He loves us, that He’s committed to us, that He will never leave us or forsake us.  In Ezekiel He says it like this, “I spread my My wig over you and covered your nakedness.  Yes, I swore an oath to you and entered into a covenant with you, and you became Mine” (Ezek.16:8).

Speak such loving, reassuring words to your mate.  Regularly repeat your commitment, describe your love, and offer potent word pictures of your determination to stick together, regardless of what comes.

 And when some problem does arise, —and it will—use the incident as yet another opportunity to reassure your spouse (even in the heat of the battle) that your commitment to the marriage and to the relationship remains firm, solid, and secure.  If God can tell us, “I will not leave you nor forsake you” (Josh.1:5), then we can follow His model and speak words of faithfulness, commitment, and devotion into the lives of our mates.

Also, tell your mate that you’d choose to marry him or her again.  When I have said this to Barbara, she has sometimes responded with, “Really?” At those times she is really saying, “I don’t feel very lovable right now.  In fact, I don’t like myself.  Are you sure you still like me?”  She needs me to to reinforce my love for her.

Why not write a letter that tells your spouse you would marry him or her all over again?  Then read your note to your spouse and thank God for giving you your mate, no matter what problems you may face.  Finish by reaffirming your marriage covenant with God together in prayer.

NOTE:  This article came from the book Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

SATURDAY – QUESTION AND ANSWER

2 Jan

SATURDAY – QUESTION AND ANSWER 

Question #1.  My mate has hurt me so badly, how can I ever forgive him/her?

Answer #1.  After Christ was betrayed, jeered, tried and unfairly convicted.  He finally suffered the cruelest indignity.  The only perfect man who ever lived was hung on a cross with two other criminals.  Below Him, soldiers mocked Him and stripped Him of His clothing while passerby sneered.

Yet Christ responded in an incredible way.  Even at that moment, while suffering the most terrible abuse, He said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they do”  (Luke 23:34).  His response holds three lessons.

1.  Forgiveness embraces the offenders.  Christ offered forgiveness to the very people who hurt Him the most.  And that’s not all.  He offered it to them while they were still hurting Him.

2.  Forgiveness initiates.  God desired your fellowship so much that He took the initiative in forgiving you.  He did not wait for you to earn it (as if you ever could).

3.  Forgiveness gives up all rights to punish.  God canceled your debt against Him.  You deserve to die as the penalty for your sins.  But, Christ paid the penalty as a substitute for you.

If you ever have trouble forgiving your mate, just remember what Christ did for you—and that you didn’t deserve it.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

MY ARM AROUND YOUR SHOULDER

1 Jan
head spinning 2

MY ARM AROUND YOUR SHOULDER

It is easy to show mercy to someone who is good to you, but how about showing mercy to someone, as they say in England, who has just “done your head in.”

In the gospel of Matthew we are told if you want mercy from God, you have to show mercy.

Matt.5:7  “Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.”

The word “mercy” means leniency and compassion shown towards offenders by a person charged with administering justice.

Mercy is a “must” to do in your marriage.

What is the difference between love and mercy?

First, love is like a friend that visits you whether you are sick or well.

Second, mercy is like a doctor that visits you only when you are sick.

Mercy gives its help when there is a need.

In Genesis, God sent angels to pull Lot out of Sodom and Gomorrah before he destroyed it by fire.

God’s word says that he was being merciful to Lot to take him out of that immoral city before destruction was sent.

I am sure that Lot was asking God, “Why me, Lord?”  “Why did you save me?”

Spouses, none of us deserves to be where we are today.

Psa.117:2 “For his merciful kindness is great toward us…”

Has God been merciful and kind to you?

Has God been slow to anger about your sins and failures?

Are you merciful toward your spouse when they sin?

How do you treat them when they have failed?

Are you a kind, merciful Christian to your spouse?

Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful” Luke 6:36

Psa. 117:2 “For his merciful kindness is great toward us…”

Do you have family members that you have prayed for their salvation.

Why should God send new converts to you when you cannot show mercy, kindness or grace to the ones that are in your midst now.

First pray for your lack of kindness and mercy towards your spouse.

Do you think that as long as you do not drink, smoke, fornicate or commit adultery that means that you are pure?

The wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.”  Jas.3:17

Are you partial and only show mercy to your spouse when they show mercy to you?

Don’t you hate to be around someone that you know is going to chop you up?

Then why do you do that to your spouse?

How many times has God dug you out of something that could have totally destroyed you?

You can show mercy to your spouse by putting your arm around them, a smile, or a touch.

Maybe you think lecturing them or thrashing them will do good.

If you bask in the comfort thought that God has been merciful to you, you will have an abundance of mercy for your spouse.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

ARE YOU HUNGRY YET?

31 Dec
heart in a trap

ARE YOU HUNGRY YET?

You know that your body depends on food for nourishment and health but your soul longs for heaven.

Your earthly things can’t SUPPORT your soul.

Whether, you are having marital problems or not, stop right now and feed your soul.

Matt.5:6 “Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.”

When those hunger PAINS hit your stomach, you know that you have to get food in you or you die.

Only the Holy Spirit can purify and satisfy your soul when it longs for holiness.

You can always depend on God to SATISFY your craving for him immediately.

Are you satisfied with yourself when you don’t consider your spouses feelings?

Do you know all there is to know about your Lord and savior, so you can act Christ-like in your marriage?

Or do you turn to your CAREER or material things to satisfy you?

There is so much more to learn about the “abundant life.”

John 6:35 “And Jesus said unto them, I am the bread of life: he that cometh to me shall never hunger; and he that believeth on me shall never thirst.”

Jesus says that he is the “bread of life” which is a basic food for living.

Eating is not something that you and I do just once a day.

In the same way, we should be learning and carrying Gods word in our hearts EVERYDAY and all through the day.

In your marriage, a husband is the “head of the household” but the wife is the “manager of the household.”

These are an important responsibility in the “eyes of God.”

It is hard to make righteous decisions without the supernatural guidance of the Holy Spirit.

This is a common TRAP that the enemy uses in marriages.

Sometimes when we ignore the importance of seeking after righteousness, we are like teenagers who think they know more than their parents.

Luke 6:25 “Woe unto you that are full!  For ye shall hunger.  Woe unto you that laugh now!  For ye shall mourn and weep.”

Are you planning your time for your next spiritual meal?

If not, you must plan for that spiritual meal in order to SURVIVE or you will die spiritually!!

CASE AND POINT:  In the 80’s my husband and I were missionaries in England.  One of the times when a team of men came from the states, a comment was made about the Americans from one of the British men.  He said that he could not believe how much Americans love their food.  He said that the Americans hadn’t even finished their meal and they were talking about what they were going to eat for their next meal.  He stated that the British eat just to get it over with.  We were laughing how Americans live to eat!

As a Christian, why can’t we be thirsting for our next encounter with the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.  What a privilege!!

Are you an empty head speaking empty words?

How SAD for your spouse who can’t rely on you to go to for Godly direction or Godly counsel.

Get hungry for God’s knowledge that only He can give to you.

Are you hungry YET?!?

GUARANTEE TO A JOYFUL MARRIAGE (Part 3)

30 Dec
devil in someone ear 2

GUARANTEE TO A JOYFUL MARRIAGE (Part 3)

Meekness is not an easy virtue to put to practice.

We have an enemy that is always trying to stir up strife in our marriage.

Something will always come up to disturb your contentment.

Matt. 5:5 “Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.”

Meekness is the workmanship of the Holy Spirit .

God’s graces are various and one of them is meekness.

God’s graces are compared to needlework in the Psalms.

Psa. 45:14a “She shall be brought unto the king in raiment of needlework…”

What makes needle point beautiful are the various colors in it.

That is the way the beatitudes are with an array of items that make us look beautiful in Christ.

66% of marital disagreements are never resolved according to John Gottman, a researcher at the University of Washington.

Meekness is twofold: Meekness towards God and meekness towards man.

Meekness towards God is submission to his will and flexibleness to his word.

Here are areas that we need to show meekness towards our spouse.

First, meekness involves a spouse to the bearing of injuries.

1Cor.13:5 “…is not easily provoked thinketh no evil…

Are you wrapped up in your own personal pains?

Meekness keeps spouses in tune with each other.

Psa.38:12,13 “They also that seek after my life lay snares for me: and they that seek my hurt speak mischievous things…But I, as a deaf man, heard not; and I was as a dumb man that openeth not his mouth.”

Meekness is the bridle for your mouth.

It binds up your tongue and guides it to good behavior.

Spouses we need to practice acting like a deaf man as if we do not hear the assaults that come our way.

Second, Meekness is forgiving of our injuries.

Mark 11:25 “And when ye stand praying, forgive…that your Father which is in heaven may forgive your trespasses.”

A meek spirit is a forgiving spirit.

We have a tendancy to forget kindness but remember injuries.

Forgiving for the unsaved is like cutting against the grain.

Do you smother the fire of your rage, but will not extinguish it?

Spouses, we need to make sure that fire is out!!

Third, Meekness is returning good for evil.

Matt.5:44 ”…Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you…”

Rom.12:20 “…if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink…”

1Pet.3:9  “Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing…”

It is brutish to treat your spouse with evil intentions.

It is devilish to repay with evil intentions.

Return a blessing next time and receive a blessing yourself.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

GUARANTEE TO A JOYFUL MARRIAGE (Part 2)

29 Dec
sick_heart

GUARANTEE TO A  JOYFUL MARRIAGE (Part 2)

We will go to the beatitudes to show us God’s steps to “marital happiness.”

Gods desire is to show you how to fill your marriage with happiness and grace by using the beatitudes as a guideline.

The beatitudes are a strand of precious pearls, which are an ornament of “grace.”

These are steps to God-likeness and blessedness.

The first pearl was Matt.5:3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”

This poverty is in a mans spirit, not in his pocket.

The next pearl is in Matthew 5:4:

Matt.5:4 “Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.”

The definition of “mourn,” is grief and sorrow caused by profound loss, especially death.

Don’t compare

Who are these mourners who are blessed?

All mourners are not all blessed.

If you were to connect your conduct towards your spouse, with God’s thoughts about it, you would get a shock that would sober you up.

So go down deep into the hidden corners of your heart and expose them to yourself so you can see what God see’s.

The elders of Israel told the people they worshipped creeping things, abominable things, lustful things which lived within their heart.

The way to heaven is to feel that we are on the way to hell.

In order to have a spiritually healthy marriage you must be aware of your corruption and abhor your own transgressions.

You have a “Great Physician” who wants to heal you of all your heart diseases.

If you can look on sin and not be sorrowful then you have never looked on Christ.

Beware if you can sin and feel no difference because you are not far from having a callous heart.

Luke 6:25 “Woe to you who are well-fed now, for you shall be hungry.  Woe to you who laugh now, for you shall mourn and weep.”

1Cor.5:2 “And you have become arrogant, and have not mourned instead, in order that the one who had done this deed might be removed from your midst.”

The mourning is not the revelation that you have contributed ungodliness to your marriage, it is that those sins have brought and continue to bring death to the marital balance.

Those that mourn know they have lost their self-respect, their righteousness, and mourn the loss of the innocence in their marriage.

Confession is one thing, contrition (mourn and grief) is another.

When you mourn, you are not under the heading of “chance”, you are under the blanket of transformation by the power of the ever-blessed God.

Marital mourning is regret that you have been a disappointment to the Lord concerning your marriage.

The marriages that are happy and spiritually prosperous are the ones that are mourning, because they will be strengthened and encouraged by consolation.

If you are sensitive to the Holy Spirit the sins that you now commit will be a sense of daily grief to you.

When you are broken hearted about your sins, you will think that God is far away but he is really the closest to you.

What men esteem, God despises.  What God esteems, man despise.

God loves a broken and contrite heart!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.