GOD HATES DIVORCE

11 Feb

GOD HATES DIVORCE

If you are not  hot or cold, then you are mediocre.

Mediocre is lacking in exceptional quality or ability.

Mediocrity in a person of second-rate ability or value.

If we are talking about weather, mediocrity is sublime.  Los Angeles, California is the place to be.  You are within an hour from sunny beaches, and within an hour to snowy mountains.  But we are not talking about weather!!!!

We are talking about your MARRIAGE.

You must not be lukewarm about your marriage or Gods judgment will spew you out of his mouth as he said in Rev.3:15-16 to the church in Laodicea.

vs.15-16 “…I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot.  I wish you were either one or the other!  So, because you are lukewarm–neither hot nor cold–I am about to  SPIT  you out of my mouth…you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked.”

Christ severely warns the church of judgment against lukewarmness.  He is a God of excellence and desires us to be passionate about our marriage.

Are we sure that he is also talking about our marriages?

YES!!   Because in Mal.2:11 He calls marriage His …”holy institute”…. We don’t ever mess with anything that is holy because it means that it is sacred.  Set apart.

A mediocre marriage leads to divorce and God “hates divorce”  Mal.2:16.

It’s a funeral that never ends!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

A “FACE-TO-FACE” MARRIAGE

10 Feb

A “FACE-TO-FACE” MARRIAGE

Do you get so caught up with the issues of the day that you don’t even have time for your husband?

You need to make “turning towards” your spouse a priority.

In order to keep your romance alive, let your spouse know that you value him.

 Not once a year, but try to make it a point everyday.

Even if it is as small as thanking him for helping you with something you asked him to do.

Even if you are shopping, it is a time that romance can grow because you are doing it together.

The point is that you are doing something together and “face-to-face.”

Think of words of encouragement to tell your spouse.

If you know your spouse is having a bad day, leave him a loving voicemail.

If there is a place he likes to go, make the suggestion that you go after work together for a date.

What ever you choose to do together, you are making a choice to “turn towards” each other rather than turn away.

Remember, that you are your spouses “companion.”

Mal.2:14  “…she is your companion and your wife by covenant.”

This is something that wives forget to do which is to “have fun” with their spouse.

It is sad to see in a marriage, when one partner is always trying to get the attention of their spouse just to get affection, support, or humor.

When their spouse does not “turn towards” them, then they usually turn away from the one they were trying to get attention from.

I heard once that it is better to find a babysitter for your spouse, than your spouse find a sitter for himself.

Wake up, girls!!

Turn face-to-face with your spouse!

You both need romance, and emotional connection in your marriage.

Do you read together?

Are you silent or do you talk over meals?

God made Eve for Adam in order to have someone for him to be emotionally engaged with.

Face-to-face involvement is necessary in order to stay together and in order to avoid departure of one of the spouses.

The difference in the outcome of your marriage is your “emotional bank account.”

It is like putting money in the bank every time you take the initiative to “turn towards” each other.

You need a build up in your “emotional savings” so when conflict or stress hits your marriage, you will make allowances for a negative action from your spouse.

The key to a long-lasting romance is to “turn toward” each other in little ways every day.

Face-to-face!!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

A DIVINE PARTNERSHIP

9 Feb

A DIVINE PARTNERSHIP

Do you want to be a terrific spouse?  If so, God wants to partner with you—and a big part of that partnership is praying for your mate.

Effective prayer is asking God to do what He already wants to do in your mate’s life.  God delights in answering such prayer, because He wants you both to know Him, to see Him work, and to continue to come to Him.

What would you like to see happen in your relationship?  The Scriptures tell us, “You do not have because you do not ask” (James 4:2).  “But I’m nobody!” you say.  James would answer, “Elijah was a man with a nature like ours: (5:17), and yet his prayers made a drought last for three years (1Kings 17:1).  Go to God repeatedly with your needs and requests, expecting Him to act for your benefit!

One of my habits when I pray over my lunch (whether she’s with me or not) is to also pray for Barbara.  I regularly pray that she will experience God as she goes through the remaining part of her day and that she will grow in faith.  On other occasions, such as before I leave for work, I’ll take her by the hand and bring her and one of her burdens to God in prayer.

Come before God’s throne on your mate’s behalf, requesting a deeper knowledge of God’s love.  Pray for an increased desire to obey and follow Christ.  Ask God to give your mate a growing awareness of the benefits of walking with Him and that faithfulness, contentment, patience, self-control, discipline, and other godly virtues will continue to grow,

Pray for your mate.  They need prayer.  And you and I need the practice.

NOTE:  This article came from “Family life and Marriage Bible” by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be successful.

Do you want to be a terrific spouse?  If so, God wants to partner with you—and a big part of that partnership is praying for your mate.

Effective prayer is asking God to do what He already wants to do in your mate’s life.  God delights in answering such prayer, because He wants you both to know Him, to see Him work, and to continue to come to Him.

What would you like to see happen in your relationship?  The Scriptures tell us, “You do not have because you do not ask” (James 4:2).  “But I’m nobody!” you say.  James would answer, “Elijah was a man with a nature like ours: (5:17), and yet his prayers made a drought last for three years (1Kings 17:1).  Go to God repeatedly with your needs and requests, expecting Him to act for your benefit!

One of my habits when I pray over my lunch (whether she’s with me or not) is to also pray for Barbara.  I regularly pray that she will experience God as she goes through the remaining part of her day and that she will grow in faith.  On other occasions, such as before I leave for work, I’ll take her by the hand and bring her and one of her burdens to God in prayer.

Come before God’s throne on your mate’s behalf, requesting a deeper knowledge of God’s love.  Pray for an increased desire to obey and follow Christ.  Ask God to give your mate a growing awareness of the benefits of walking with Him and that faithfulness, contentment, patience, self-control, discipline, and other godly virtues will continue to grow,

Pray for your mate.  They need prayer.  And you and I need the practice.

NOTE:  This article came from “Family life and Marriage Bible” by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be successful.

SATURDAY Q & A 

8 Feb

SATURDAY Q & A 

Question #1.  What steps can we take to build a foundation for a successful marriage?

Answer #1.  Here are  our top five secrets for having a successful marriage:

#1.  Settle the issue of ownership.  Who is going to be Lord of your life and family?  What we give to God is minor compared to  what God has given us.  He has established us exceedingly abundantly beyond all that we could ask or think.  He owns it all!

#2.  Secure your commitment to one another.  Marriage is ultimately a relationship that is established with a promise, your marriage covenant.  Affirm your vows by doing what you promised.

#3.  Pray with your spouse everyday.  I received this secret shortly after Barbara and I were first married.  It has been the cement of our marriage!  The spiritual discipline of praying together has forced us to resolve our conflicts before we go to bed.

#4.  Maintain a teachable heart that seeks and grants forgiveness.  All communication  is the result of trust.  If you’re entertaining bitterness, anger, or unforgiveness in your heart, you can’t communicate on an intimate level.

#5.  Follow a biblical blueprint for marriage.  One reason our conferences help so many couples, whether they’re engaged or have been married for years, is that both the man and woman leave having heard the same set of biblical principles—blueprints that allow God to build that marriage and family.

NOTE:  this article came from “Family Life and Marriage Bible” by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

ENHANCE YOUR LOVE

7 Feb

ENHANCE YOUR LOVE

If you are an emotionally intelligent wife, you will be intimately familiar to your spouse’s world.

Mal.2:14 “…she is your companion, and the wife of your covenant.”

He called this familiarity to your spouse’s world “love mapping.”

CASE AND POINT:  It seems like every time I turn on my computer, there is an “update” that needs to take place.  If I don’t update my computer, there is a chance of me losing information that I need.

In the same way, if you don’t update the important information about your spouse, you can loose touch and your relationship can drift to the point that you wake up one day and don’t know each other.

John M. Gottman Ph.D, in his book, “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work” defines love mapping as the part of the brain that stores all the relevant information about your partner’s life.

Do you know your spouses goals in life?

Do you know your spouses worries?

Do you know your spouses hopes?

If you don’t really know someone, you can’t really love them.

The biblical term for sexual love is “to know”.

Having a baby is one life event, or a job shift is a life event, or an illness; these events change a “love map.”

The more you know and understand your spouse, the easier it is to keep connected as life swirls around you.

Getting to know your spouse better is a lifelong process.

LOVE MAP QUESTIONNAIRE

By John M. Gottman, Ph.D.

Answer TRUE or FALSE to the following statement.

  1. I can name my partners best friends.
  2. I can tell you what stresses my partner is currently facing.
  3. I know the names of some of the people who have been irritating my husband lately.
  4. I can tell you some of my partner’s life dreams.
  5. I am very familiar with my partner’s religious beliefs and ideas.
  6. I can tell you about my partner’s basic philosophy of life.
  7. I can list the relatives my partner likes the least.
  8. I know my partner’s favorite music.
  9. I can list my partner’s three favorite movies.

10.My spouse is familiar with my current stresses.

11.I know the three most special times in my partner’s life.

12.I can tell you the most stressful thing that happened to my

partner as a child.

13.I can list my partner’s major aspirations and hopes in life.

14.I know my partner’s major current worries.

15.My spouse knows who my friends are.

16.I know what my partner would want to do if he or she suddenly               won the lottery.

17.I can tell you in detail my first impressions of my partner.

18.Periodically I ask my partner about his world right now.

19.I feel that my partner knows me pretty well.

20.My spouse is familiar with my hopes and aspirations.

Give yourself one point for each TRUE answer.

10 or above:  This is an area of strength for your marriage.  Try not to take for granted this knowledge and understanding of each other.  If you continue to keep in touch, you should be able to handle problems that arise.

Below 10:  Your marriage could stand some improvement in this area.  Take time to learn more about your spouse now, your relationship will grow stronger.

I heard once that if you really want to find things out about your husband, have a BarBQue with the men from his work and listen to their conversation.

I guess the guys at work know more about him than you do if you haven’t taken the time to learn.

It is time for a daily update!

Start today!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

NEEDFUL THING FOR MARRIAGE 

6 Feb

NEEDFUL THING FOR MARRIAGE 

Have you ever complained to God about what your husband wasn’t doing?

Of course you have?

There were times that I felt like I was doing every thing and thought that my husband should be working to help me.

This following biblical story explains how Jesus feels about those times of service.

Jesus was in the home of two sisters: Mary who was listening at Jesus’ feet and Martha who was cumbered about serving.

The word “cumbered” in the Greek means, draw away, distract; to be driven about mentally.

Luke 10:41-42 “And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.”

What was Martha being distracted from?

The “word”.  Jesus and the “word” are one.

She was distracted with too much serving and forgot Jesus.

Martha OVERRODE her bonding with Christ, by her service to Christ.

When you are on an “emotional rollercoaster”,  it separates you from Jesus and you are now no good to your marriage.

Luke 21:34 says, our hearts are overcharged with “…cares of this life...”

You need to humble yourself by casting your cares on Jesus instead of complaining about what your spouse is or isn’t doing.

Martha’s #1 purpose at that time was to make Jesus welcomed.  Instead, she snaps and complains to Jesus saying, “Don’t you care?”

Martha thought that you express your love for God through service.

Mary’s secret is that she knew her love for God could only be done through devotion.

Jesus is telling Martha that she must first be ministered to by her Savior, before she can effectively minister for her Savior.

You cannot be the Godly spouse that you want to be unless you spend TIME at the feet of Jesus.

Are you too busy serving Him that you can’t find time to love Him and listen to Him?

Charles Wesley said, “…Choose the better part; Serve with careful Martha’s hands and loving Mary’s heart.”

You can be radically changed if you listen to Jesus words, “…one thing is needful.”

Jesus pointed out that Mary’s choice to take the “good part” would not be taken from her.

It is good to be hooked up to Gods word—THAT IS YOUR LIFELINE!

When you choose to do what Mary did, you can live the good life.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

WORRY FREE MARRIAGE (Part 2) 

5 Feb

WORRY FREE MARRIAGE (Part 2) 

Pride causes discouragement and depression when we worry.

Proverbs 16:18 “Pride goes before destruction.”

 Proverbs 29:23 “A man’s pride shall bring him low.”

To avoid this, God tells us to humble ourselves by letting him take care of our marital problems.

1Peter 5:6-7 “Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon him; for he cares for you.”

  1. Has God ever told you to be quiet, but you don’t.
  2. Next you find yourself in a fight then you finally have to be quiet to end it.
  3. Then you are depressed because you either said hurtful things or you were told hurtful truths.

God did not design us to be able to handle tomorrow’s problems.

He only gives us enough grace to get through TODAYS marital issues.

When you cast your cares, that act of humility demonstrates your faith.

When the verse says, …the mighty hand of God…”, it means that God can hand-le anything and everything.

Let God use His “mighty hand in your marriage.”

Worry does not empty tomorrow’s problem, it just empties today’s strength.

THE WORD CHOKED

Mark 4:18-19  “And these are they which are sown among thorns; such as hear the word, And the cares of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, and the lusts of other things entering in, choke the word, and it becomes unfruitful.””

This is saying that after you have heard Gods word, you still allow things to enter your heart and it strangles Gods word that is in you.

After suffocating Gods word, you can no longer PRODUCE fruit in your life, so you miss out on a good harvest.

This mentions three things that choke the word:

  1. The cares of the world.
  2. The deceitfulness of riches.
  3. The lust of other things.

We start to allow the problems, rather than Gods word to tell us how to act.

Luke 21:34 “And take heed to yourselves, lest at any time your hearts be overcharged with surfeiting (being overfull), and drunkenness, and cares of this life, and so that day come upon you unawares.”

 OUCH!   I said, “OUCH!!”

You have been warned to not be “overcharged.”

Overcharged means to feel stressed, depressed and just an emotional wreck.

You won’t be able to hear the VOICE of God.

Also, notice in Luke 21:34 that a person who is “overcharged” with the “cares of this world” are on the same category as a drunkard.

People who are drunk are not alert, sharp or perceptive.

You cannot make good marital DECISIONS when you are overcharged with the cares of this world.

The choice is yours:  You can sin by letting things bother you, or you can choose to not let things bother you.

A WORRY FREE LIFE IS YOUR CHOICE.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.