LEAN ON ME

30 Apr

20110502-011138.jpg

LEAN ON ME

We have all seen pictures of the “Leaning Tower of Pisa” (Torre pendent di Pisa) in Italy. It took 177 years to build the tower and then it began to sink right after construction began. It was set in weak, unstable subsoil, which was a flawed design from the beginning. After the flaw was discovered, there was an array of interruptions that caused the 177 year delay.

I thought it was a cartoon. My second thought was why anyone would go into that kind of building, just because someone said it is safe. I was convinced it would tip over at any moment.

I am not a little girl anymore, but there are a lot of times I wonder why people are putting their trust in different things.

One area is the way a husband can put his trust in a woman, who FLAUNTS his business to anyone who will listen.

Nothing is sacred!! Not their finances, their relationship, not their sex life.

Since we are still “profile peekers” into the Proverbs 31 woman, let’s continue to look at the verses.

Prov.31:11 “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.”

Her husband has full confidence in her and LACKS nothing of value.

If you are a Christian woman, then you know about being committed.

One of the commands in the bible is to reverence and adapt to your husbands needs. Eph.5:33 “…and the wife see that she reverence her husband…”

If you are a woman who is meeting your husbands sexual needs, then the bible says that “…he shall have no need of spoil.”

Your husband should not have any reason to look elsewhere for love, because his queen is delighted to richly satisfy him.

I am not saying that if your husband has committed adultery on you, it is because you are not having sex with him.

This verse is saying, if you do SATISFY him sexually, he will have no need to go elsewhere.

Use your body to bless him, not as a sex weapon.

Remember that sex is God’s great idea. Heb.13:4 “Marriage is honorable in all and the marriage bed is undefiled…”

When you ask any man, what kind of a woman does he want to marry. His response usually is, ”A woman I can trust.”

Prov.12:14 “A worthy wife is her husbands joy and crown; the other kind corrodes his strength and tears down everything he does.”

What guy is looking for a wife that would TEAR him down?

You need to live with the knowledge that you have done your part.

This is what makes my marriage so EXCITING!!

You are only responsible for your behavior, not your husbands.

I only need to do MY part.

If your husband does not do his part, you are still rewarded for doing your part. You might even get doubly rewarded for the trust you are putting in God.

Does your husband TRUST you during the day, because when he comes home, there you are with a big smile, lip gloss on, and ready to meet his needs?

He doesn’t have to be jealous because he knows how much you love him by the importance you put on him.

The word “trust” is used 152 times in various forms.

The Hebrew word for “trust” is batach, which signifies to lean on.

When times are bad, this is when he needs to know that he can COUNT on you.

His queen is there to lean on.

When bad times come, do you THREATEN your husband?

When bad times come, do you support him?

CASE AND POINT: One time my husband was so overwhelmed by the “spiritual death” of one of our children. My heart broke more for him than our child. The next day as we talked and strengthened each other, we were able to partner and strengthen one another. We decided that the devil picked on the wrong family, and he was going to be soooo sorry he did.

Start today!

It doesn’t cost a penny. It is free!

Can he lean on you?

Let his heart safely trust in HIS QUEEN!

NOTE: Don’t miss tomorrows post! Daily there is a new post.

POWER OF A WOMAN IN LOVE

29 Apr

POWER OF A WOMAN IN LOVE

The wife often holds the key to the QUALITY of romance that is in the marriage.

On yesterdays post, we covered surveys where men scored high on wanting more romance in their marriage.

The confusion came when husbands FEARED failure in being successful to plan a romantic event.

We will be using the information from the book ,”For Women Only” by Shaunti Feldhahn.

So what are some of the things that a wife can do to support a romantic event?

First, encourage him.

For some reason, wives don’t think that their husbands need encouragement in an area like developing a romantic event.

Everyone needs encouragement, even the GREATEST of men.  Lets look at this next verse.

Deut.1:38 But Joshua the son of Nun, which standeth before thee, he shall go in tither: encourage him: for he shall cause Israel to inherit it.”

Listen up girls!!  Here are Moses, Joshua and others, who are great men, with great power.  You would think that they would not need encouragement, but they did.  Regardless of the amount of authority or responsibility, the possibility of failure is always present.

How much more do our husbands need it.

Your appreciation as his wife, is always necessary when your husband is outside his COMFORT zone, like planning a romantic event.

One man said, “Encourage me and affirm my effort, and I will run through a brick wall to please you.

Another husband said, “I am willing to be a fool for you, but just tell me that I did good.  And give me sex.  That helps too.”

Remember, many men view taking romantic initiative as a huge risk—a risk of “being humiliated” or “feeling inadequate”.

When he makes an effort, you have to prove to your man it’s not a risk!

The next time he asks you to “go outside and play”, don’t tell him that you have to do the dishes.  Remember, this is his version of a candlelight dinner.

Second, Entice him.

Many men have said that in work or in romance, they are always looking for something to conquer.

Keep it fresh—give him something to pursue.  Go with him for a walk, run, tennis, etc.

Make yourself the kind of friend and lover he constantly wants to PURSUE.

It is learning to give what the other person needs and enjoying the resulting God-ordained fruits of YOUR self-lessness.

The Christian walk is one of self-denial, which we are COMMANDED to live by.  Luke 9:23.

Third, keep him number one.

Are you putting a DAMPER on your husband’s enthusiasm by letting too many other priorities interfere with romance?

Are you unconsciously making your kids a priority over your husband?

On the survey, several men expressed that their wives spent too much time DOTING on the children and not enough doting on their relationship.

Many husbands have said that there is a sense of  “I’ve lost my wife”.

Some men said, “It’s not just the kids that steal my wife, it’s the whole “to do list”.

Is that you??  Do you have a “to do list” that is bigger than your quality time with hubby?

Has your husband lost his wife?

Right now you have a tremendous OPPORTUNITY to start over with your man!!

ON YOUR MARK, GET SET, GOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post.  Daily there is a new post.

THE ESSENCE OF GOODNESS

28 Apr

THE ESSENCE OF GOODNESS

Henry David Thoreau once said, “Goodness is the only investment that never fails.”  “An investment?”  you ask.  That’s right, an investment…especially in your mate, your children, and your extended family.

Our grayish culture, void of absolutes, has bleached out the once colorful connotations to the word good.  Today, if something is good, that usually means it’s just okay.  Good is third in line at Sears, just behind better and best.  And we all know to steer clear of a good used car– it’s probably been a rental, driven for 225,000 miles, and then used in a demolition derby!

To recover the once lofty meaning of good, recall God’s consistent assessment of the world He made.  I also think of the question Jesus put to the rich young ruler, “Why do you call Me good? No one is good but One, that is, God” (Matt.19:17).

There’s our clue!  Only God is good.  Merrill Unger writes of God’s goodness, “It expresses the supreme benevolence, holiness, and excellence of the divine character, the sum of all God’s attributes”

And God calls your marriage to be good!  You have the opportunity to display “the excellence of the divine character”!

NOTE:  This came from an article in the book, “Family Life Marriage Bible” by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post.  Daily there is a new post.

SATURDAY Q & A

27 Apr

SATURDAY Q & A

Question #1  My husband goes against everything I try to teach my family.  What can I do as I am trying  to teach them the right way to go in life.

Answer # 1   Remember that God knows how difficult and disappointing that it is for you in your marriage at times.  God wants to give you His wisdom for every situation that rises up.  God can give you the grace to trust Him for the outcome.  There is a woman of wisdom that is in the bible, Abigail.

1Sam.25:32-33 NIV “David said to Abigail, “Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel, who has sent you today to meet me.  May you be blessed for your good judgment.”

This is a very interesting story in the bible.  David and his men were hiding from Saul in the desert.  They took on odd jobs to survive and one of them was to take care of sheep.  Nabel was a wealthy property owner with sheep, who David protected. One day David asked Nabel for compensation for all the hard work his men and him had done by protecting the sheep.  Nabel flatly refused.  David was furious and he immediately decided that he would kill Nabel. Nabel had a wife named Abigail, who was very wise and was well-respected by all including David.  Look what the bible says in Proverbs.  Prov.11:16 “A kindhearted woman gains respect, but ruthless men gain only wealth.”   Nabel did not get away with his arrogant and greedy actions.  Nabel enjoyed his wealth, but only for a short time.

I am sure that through her marriage to Nabel, she was able to develop a lot of wisdom.  A difficult marriage is able to  bring any spouse to their knees.  A spouse who is not willing to cooperate will cause you to seek Godly wisdom and cause you to embrace prayer.  Abigail did not let Nabels’ opinion to influence her or to affect her life.  This woman obviously had a close relationship with God.

There is a reason that this story is in the Bible.  I believe it is there as an example and pattern of how to handle a difficult husbands decisions.  Abigail had a source to turn to and so do we.  That source is GOD!  ALWAYS keep in mind that we have the Holy Spirit as our guide. The Holy Spirit is a gentleman.  Gently waiting for you to ask.   THANK YOU JESUS!  You are not alone!!

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post.  Daily there is a new post.

DO MEN WANT ROMANCE, TOO?

26 Apr

DO MEN WANT ROMANCE, TOO?

Of course men want romance, you silly rabbit!!!

But you don’t have to take my word for it.

In the book, “For Women Only”, by Shaunti Feldhahn, she did surveys on this subject so we will find out from the men themselves.

Let’s find out what men are really like when it comes to romance or do they just think about it differently than we do?

You might be thinking that it is just something they’re happy to put up with as long as they get sex afterward?

This next comment by Shaunti might surprise you or make you very happy.

According to her findings, most men feel that they are secret romantics who—like most of us—don’t experience nearly as much intimacy in their primary love relationship as they’d like.

The great news is that our husbands long for connection, togetherness, and a fun, intimate time…with us.

Most women think that men don’t really care about romance but men want romance, too.

On a survey, men were asked if they desired romantic events, regardless if they planned it or if their spouse planned it.

84% of the men said, YES, very much or YES, somewhat.

14% of the men said, they could take it or leave it.

2% said that they don’t care for it.

One husband responded, “I wish my wife knew that I needed romance, that I also needed touching and hugs as much as she does.”

Women think, well if men want to do romantic things, why don’t they?

According to the surveys taken, the male responses fall into two catchall categories:  internal hesitation and the “gender gap” in definitions of romance.

First, Internal Hesitation

Men were asked if they could put together a romantic event that you know your spouse would enjoy?

88% felt they could put together a romantic event.

The problem is that almost half, (46%) aren’t confident you’ll like their romantic efforts.

Three distinct concerns that caused hesitation.

  1. Self-doubt.  I won’t do a very good job.  This self-doubt turns into doing nothing at all.  He risks humiliation if he does it wrong.
  2. Haunted by romantic failures.  They may have failed in the past and are sensitive to criticism or teasing.
  3. It’s difficult to change gears.  Some men need to decompress somehow before he can think about being a romantic, loving husband.  After, a hard days work, a man needs his wife to understand and give him that time.  He will then be a happier and more available husband the rest of the evening.

Two gender gap definitions romance.

  1. Playing together is very romantic.  Men love to go out and do things together which is incredibly romantic.  The woman who is having fun with her husband is incredibly attractive.  They want to do “guy things” with their wives.  This is his version of a “candle-light dinner”.
  2. Romance without sex may not seem complete.  If men are romantic, they want sex.  After setting up a romantic event, it can be intensely disappointing to not have sex for him.  Romance is all about escaping—escaping with the one you love.

1Cor.4:7 “For who maketh thee to differ from another?”  We know that answer.   God made each one of us different.

Another survey was taken from men who were asked, “If you take sex out of the equation, which of the following do you find more romantic for yourself.”

Almost 60% of men desired the “traditional” (candle-light dinners, etc.) definition of romance.  Almost 40% desired an “active”  (hiking, etc.) model.

Have you been missing out on opportunities to have some romantic time with your “hubby” just because you didn’t know it was romantic.

Come on girls.  Let’s get with it.

A few weeks ago, I had a friend go to the shooting range with her husband for the first time.

She loved it!!  I won’t tell you who got the better score.  Wink!Wink!

John 10:10  “The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.”

God desires that we have an abundant life with our spouse.

Whatever it takes girls!!  Every widow would agree with me!!

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post.  Daily there is a new post.

ARE YOUR ROOTS SHOWING?

25 Apr

ARE YOUR ROOTS SHOWING?

Women try to get away with not dying their hair as long as they can, to SAVE money.

As soon as those roots on your head start showing, you immediately get them dyed.

Women dye their hair because they don’t want anyone to see their real hair color or their GRAY roots.

We know it is a bit vain, but it is a fact that women do dress to impress other women.

There are other roots that many wives have and they look very ugly when they “rear their ugly heads.”

These roots that I am talking about are what the bible calls “…roots of bitterness…”

Heb.12:15 “Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;”

As I have taught around the world to wives’, the one stronghold that seems the most that women embrace is the BITTERNESS.

Wives many times feel that they have a right to be bitter.

Our Father in heaven doesn’t want us to suffer with these roots that are showing through our life and will eventually grow so deep, they will SUCK the life out of us.

 

I will be using a book that explains how Jesus used the sycamine tree to  remove evil forces, like bitterness, from ones life.  “Sparkling Gems From the Greek” by Rick Renner.

 

Luke 17:6 “And the Lord said, If ye had faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye might say unto this sycamine tree, Be thou plucked up by the root, and be thou planted in the sea; and it should obey you.”

 

The sycamine tree grew throughout the Middle East

 

Jesus was telling them to forgive 7×70 and it seemed so impossible that in verse 17:5 they said, “…Lord increase our faith…”

Jesus was telling them, if you really want to be free of these attitudes, you can speak to this menacing growth in your life and command it to be planted in the sea!

Why did Jesus use the sycamine tree to illustrate the destructive forces of bitterness and unforgiveness.

  1. The sycamine tree had a very large and deep root structure.  Because its roots went down so deep, it was hard to kill.  Its roots were so deep that it had tapped into underground water sources.  Even if you cut it’s base, the tree was unaffected and still alive by its deep roots.  Roots of bitterness go down deep in the human life and lie hidden in the soil of the heart.
  2. The sycamine tree’s wood was the preferred wood for building caskets and coffins.  It grew quickly and for that reason was famous in the Middle East.  Bitterness grows quickly and out of control.  Also, it grew best in dry conditions, which describes the Middle East.  When we are spiritually dry, bitterness runs rapid.  This wood was used for coffins shows how deadly bitterness is.  It will kill your joy, peace and spiritual life.
  3. The sycamine tree produced a fig that was very bitter to eat.  This fruit was so bitter, it took a long time to eat little by little.  That is what bitterness does.  We keep chewing on it over and over again.
  4. The sycamine tree was pollinated only by wasps.  It could be reproduced only by a wasps stinging it right in its heart.  The devil desires to pollinate our hearts by stinging us with bitterness.

Jesus is telling his married couples that it just takes a LITTLE bit of faith to get rid of this bitterness.

We have a precious woman in our church which almost died a few years ago.  She had continual stomach problems.  Finally, one day she couldn’t take the pain anymore and was hospitalized.  They found a huge growth in her colon.  It was, I believe three feet wide and very long,  The doctors were able to salvage enough of her colon so she may lead a normal life.  When I saw the picture, I was amazed that something that enormous could live in her body.

Had it not been removed, she would have died!

What is your DESIRE today?

Do you wish to be free from the bitterness in your life or against your spouse??

Do you want to rip those destructive ROOTS out of your heart?

Do you want those roots of bitterness to resurface and destroy your marriage?

Are you tired of those detrimental attitudes toward your spouse that are killing your JOY and stealing your PEACE?

You would be embarrassed of your roots showing but you flaunt your roots of bitterness that distorts your life towards your spouse.

Stop blaming your spouse and speak to those roots of bitterness to leave.

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post.  Daily there is a new post.

#6-HOW TO GET YOUR SPOUSE TO THINK YOUR WAY

24 Apr

#6 – HOW TO GET YOUR SPOUSE TO THINK YOUR WAY

 

Give your spouse credit for their resolution ideas

 

 In order to get your spouse to think your way, you need their COOPERATION.

You might never see a good idea from your spouse that isn’t yours.

To be effective, you need to understand that you never LOSE credit when you share the glory with your spouse.

When you highlight the contribution of your spouse, they will increase their self-confidence and it will raise their spirit—which will improve future performance.

In Matt.10:10 Jesus said, “…the worker is worthy of his support.”

 

A spouse NEVER loses out by giving credit and recognition where it is due.

By giving your spouse credit for their ideas, you are demonstrating that together, you have both effectively built a strong team.

Psa.133:1 “…how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!”

Eccles.4:9 “Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor.”  There are four reasons why two are better than one:

  1. Because they have more reward for their labor. (v.9)
  2. One can lift the other one up if he falls. (4:10)
  3. Both can keep warm. (4:11)
  4. They can prevail against another. (4:12)

This is an excellent and worthy ACCOMPLISHMENT.

By arguing and yelling out names, you quench the Holy Spirit, along with all that the two of you are trying to build for Gods kingdom.

Always explain to your spouse CALMLY that you both are on the same team and that you want to do your part to make the both of you look good.

You would make your spouse feel really important if you tell them that you also want them involved in any future issues that may come up.

Complaining will yield NO FRUIT, and will probably only antagonize your spouse.

Try to resolve issues; then learn to live with the situation.

If you fail to reach an understanding or an agreement with your spouse after attempting to work out the situation, seek the Lord’s GUIDANCE and extend grace to your spouse.

Live with the situation!

Don’t develop a negative attitude because it will DAMAGE your credibility and eat you alive.

Let go of resentment!

Remember the saying: Differences create the challenges in life that open the door to discovery.

In the book, “The seven habits of highly effective teens” by Sean Covey, he defines a word called SYNERGIZE.  Synergy is achieved when two or more people work together to create a better solution than either could alone.

It’s not your way but a better way, a higher way.

GETTING  TO  SYNERGY  ACTION  PLAN

 

1.  Define the problem or opportunity

2.  Their way  (Seek  first to understand the ideas of others.)

3.  My way (Seek to be understood by sharing your ideas)

4.  Brainstorm (Create new options and ideas.)

5.  High way  (Find the best solution)

Do you try and ram your OPINIONS down your spouses’ throat?

How does that make you feel after?

Isn’t it wiser to get IDEAS from your spouse since not everyone thinks like you?

In fact, no one else thinks like you!!!

Our brain is so intricate that there are trillions of ways to process information.

If you only respect your idea, you are living in denial.

It has been recorded, that Walt Disney never gave anyone on staff credit for their work.  He would tell them that it was better for people to recognize the Disney name then to give everyone credit.  It brought a lot of division in his employees.  He got credit for everything they did.  At different intervals, he would loose his best cartoonist and other very valuable employees.  Walt Disney did not care.  He only cared about the Disney name getting the credit.

Let’s avoid making our spouse feel like less of a person just like these Disney employees.

TWO ARE BETTER THAN ONE!!!

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post which is a continuation of our series, “How to get your spouse to think your way.”  Daily there is a new post.