LOVE YOUR SPOUSE

FAMILY SPY

Is there a spy lurking in your house?

CASE AND POINT:  I remember we had purchased these two Shih-Tzu puppies.  They were as cute as can be and would get lost in our house by  crawling into my husband’s slippers.  One of their favorite things to do was to get into any bag that we brought home from the store.  Some days we would come home from shopping and put our purses or bags down and go take care of other issues that were more important at that moment.  By the time we returned, all packages were ripped open and everything was mauled.  The inside of our purses would be left with ripped gum or mint packages with the contents gone.  Lipsticks would be eaten away.  If guests left their purses down, we would end the evening with apologies of the actions of these little critters.

These puppies watched every move we made and spied out every bag that came into our house.

These puppies did this for SELFISH reasons, but as we read about this Proverbs 31 woman, we see some similarities.

Let’s continue to take another “profile peek” into this virtuous woman to dissect her actions.

Pro.31:27 “She looketh well to the ways of her household and eateth not the bread of idleness.”

This verse implies that she was a watchman over her home:  A SPY.

A definition of a “watchman” is a person who watches over and protects property, assets or person.

This godly woman is alertly looking for any danger that may hurt her family.

Are you WATCHING out for all the dangers on the internet?  Pornography?

Do you know where your children are and who they are with?  How about evil companions?

What about UNGODLY entertainment?  Are you aware of their choice in music and what your family is watching on television?

Your number one job as a parent is to be fully aware of what is happening in your child’s life.

Just like our puppies, you need to get into those bags and SNIFF OUT anything you need to look through.

Are your children attending church services?  Are they praying?  Are they reading Gods word?

This is all a part of your family responsibility!!

The next issue in this verse is that she did not indulge in slothfulness.

She is an ENERGETIC, organized person who carries out all her household responsibilities.

The word “idle” means sluggish or lazy.

Taking care of your house is a lot of hard work and if yours is looking lovely, it did not get there by chance.

If you have created a place of beauty and comfort for your family, you deserve to be BLESSED.

Right now I want to bring this subject right into your home?

If you are a woman whose home is not a show place, may I help you?

You can change today.  Let’s take baby steps.

Remember, if you are asking the Holy Spirit to guide your family, He lives in your home also.

If your place is cluttered and you have no space for items, rent a storage space.  This one act can save your marriage.  They are not expensive and you can find small areas.

If you do not like to clean, you have a lot of options.

CALL a cleaning service to do your deep cleaning.

If you don’t have the funds, find a friend who loves to organize and clean.  Then trade chores with them.  You offer your services to cook for that person or do other chores you enjoy that they don’t like as bill paying, ironing, gardening, child sitting, etc.

Other suggestions are to take on one room at a time.

Ask God to help you.

This is so important to God and your spouse.

If he has asked or hinted about this, you better get moving in the RIGHT direction.

Forget about your next shopping spree and put that money into making your house a home.

Don’t be a Queen of a “pigs pen!”

Do I hear an “oink” “oink” girls?  I hope not!!

Fighting the good fight and loving it!

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow’s post.  Daily there is a new post.

12 THINGS SATAN DOES TO GET VICTORY OVER CHRISTIANS

Satan said to a convention of Demons, “As long as Christians stay close to God, we have no power over them.  So here are 12 things you can do to get victory over Christians.”

1)  Keep them busy with non essentials.

2)  Tempt them to overspend and go into debt.

3)  Make them work long hours to maintain empty life styles.

4)  Discourage them from spending family time together, for when their homes disintegrate there is no refuge from work.

5)  Over stimulate their minds with television and computers, so they can’t hear God speaking to them.

6)  Fill their coffee tables and nightstands with newspapers and magazines so they have no time to read the Bible.

7)  Flood their mailboxes with sweepstakes promotions and get rich quick schemes to keep them chasing material things.

8)  Put glamour models on TV  and on magazine covers to keep them focused on outward appearances.  That way they will be dissatisfied with themselves and dissatisfied with their mates.

9)  Make sure couples are too exhausted for physical intimacy so they will be tempted to look elsewhere.

10)  Make Santa and the Easter bunny bigger than Jesus to divert them from remembering the real meaning of the holiday.

11)  Involve them in good causes so they won’t have time for eternal ones.

12)  Make them self  satisfied. Keep them busy working in their own strength so they’ll never know the joy of God’s power working through them.

Remember my demons, keep them busy!  Busy!  Busy!  Because we know what it stands for:

*  B=BEING

*  U=UNDER

*  S=SATANS

*  Y=YOKE

This article was supplied by Lisa Banks. (Author unknown)

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow’s post.  Daily there is a new post.

SATURDAY Q & A 

QUESTION #1.  My husband does not shower or brush his teeth before going to bed.  How do I tell him to clean up?

ANSWER #1.  I Will make a couple of suggestions.

First, I wouldn’t tell him, I would ask him to or make a suggestion.  Then pray!

Second, along with that, you could add some incentives (sex).  Think of things he likes and do them for him.  Let him know that you are doing it for him so that he would practice cleanliness for you.  Of course, change the wording to suit him.  Then pray.

Third, if you ask and he tells you “NO”, and you try incentives and he still tells you “NO”, PRAY.  The last thing you can do is just wait on God.  It is not God’s fault, but in the mean time, the Holy Spirit will convict him.  You will have to know that every night God is convicting him till he responds.

I know this must really hurt your feelings, but don’t take it personally.  He is not trying to hurt you, he just doesn’t put any value in it.   It is funny but some men would rather spend a whole Saturday polishing their old 50 Chevy then take a bath and put 20 minutes into their own body.

I am sure that there are other areas in your husband’s life that out shines what other men do.  It is just that he has this bad habit.  I always ask women, “Does he beat you?”.  “Does he molest children?”.  “Does he never work or is he a provider for you and his family?”

I think you get the picture.  Thank God for the good things in him and leave the “bad habits” to God.  He does a better job than us!  Wink! Wink!!

(Part 2)

This has nothing to do with the question above but I thought you might enjoy this joke given to me called,

ALL WASHED UP.

Helping his wife wash the dishes, a minister protested, “This isn’t a man’s job.”  “Oh, yes, it is”, his wife retorted, quoting 2 kings 21:13.  “I will wipe Jerusalem as a man wipeth a dish wiping it, and turning it upside down.”

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow’s post.  Daily there is a new post.

BFF

BFF means “best friends forever”.  And if you were girly, you would know that.

In the social world of the young ladies, changing best friends from time to time is very common.

The Proverbs 31 woman had a “BFF”.

Lets continue our “profile peeking” and see if she has a “best friend.”

When I was a teenager, my mother would get me so mad because I couldn’t have anyone as a friend till she met their parents and they had to have high standards and morals.

They say, “Birds of a feather, flock together.”  In other words, you hang around with people who look and act the way you want to be.

Prov.31:26 “She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.”

This Proverbs 31 woman’s “best friend” is WISDOM.

This virtuous woman, keeps company with her God.

Do you SEEK His wisdom and guidance?

Do you read His word and spend time in His presence?

How do you expect to be the spouse that God desires for you to be if you put no time INVESTING in your spiritual life?

Who are you keeping company with?

What are the most defining marks of a good and bad woman?  HER TALKING!!

If you hang with people who are sarcastic, harsh and negative, you will be also.

The bible says that if you want to know if someone is a great person, LISTEN to them talk as it will more accurately reveal their character.

The bible says that the tongue can sink ships, it’s uncontrollable, and it can cut to the quick.

Are you CONVICTED by this verse?

You don’t have to struggle over and over again.

The choice is yours to not open your mouth when what you are about to say is not WISE.

This verse 26 says, “…in her tongue is the law of kindness.”

What is the “law of kindness?”

The “law of kindness” is the law of love.

The law of kindness is written in your heart but it shows itself through your tongue.

Wisdom is a commanding POWER in all it says.

Have you ever been in the presence of someone who is so kind to others that they make you feel like you are lacking something?

People like that put me IN CHECK!

It makes me ask myself, “And what’s with you girl?”

They convict you.

Right words in wisdom and kindness command respect.

They are FORCEFUL!!

Is your life shaped by how much God is in your life?

Do you SEEK Gods guidance and support dealing with the things of life.

Who is your “BFF”?

Can you make room for God to take the number one place in your life?

Your spouse and family will LOVE you for that.

His reward for that will be to give you assistance to have the law of kindness and wisdom on your lips.

God wants to be your “BEST FRIEND FOREVER”.

Fighting the good fight and loving it!!

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow’s post.  Daily there is a new post.

HAPPY HANDS!

Years ago we went to see one of the cutest animated movies ever.  It was called “Happy Feet.”  This was about a young penguin who was born with feet that were different than the other penguins.  He was teased by all the other penguins.  His feet would dance instead of walk.  All through the movie, he was not excepted by the penguins because of his dancing feet.

As we once again, continue to be “profile peekers”, we will see how in Proverbs 31 this virtuous woman had “Happy Hands.”

Prov.31:19 “She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.”

Watch out if a woman’s hands are idle and if she is not engaged in worthwhile, constructive pursuits.

If the devil can catch a woman (or man) idle, he’ll set them to work for him.

When it says, “…she layeth…”, it tells us that by her example, she provokes her servants to labor.

CASE AND POINT:  There are times when I am so tired or so busy.  That is when my husband will ask me for help.  I immediately want to tell him “NO!!  When I see his determination and passion, I immediately find myself helping him.  Why??  His passion electrifies me and I start thinking of what I could possibly do, to do my part.

This woman sets an example of skillfulness and industriousness.

She DEVELOPS her skills and talents through education and diligent application.

What are you doing with the skills and talents that God has given you.

How many times has your husband asked you to help him with something, and because of your bitterness or anger, you have IGNORED his immediate need.

You sit on your gifting and abilities out of selfishness.

“Happy Hands”, the virtuous woman, is able to use what God has given her because of her Christ like attitude.

Phil.2:5 “Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:”

Your ATTITUDE should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.

“Happy Hands” have to think positive and have a positive attitude.

Is the mind of  “self-emptying” in you?

This is needed in order for you to be the spouse that you and God, desire you to be.

In Phil. 2:5-8, it tells us that Christ humbled himself.  Lets see the steps that were taken by him.

1. Consecrated to humble himself. (v.5)
2. Laid aside His divine side (v.6)
3. Made himself of no reputation (v.7)
4. Took the form of a servant (v.7)
5. Was made in the likeness of men (v.7)
6. Humbled Himself (v.8)
7. Became obedient unto death (v.8)

These verses are saying that He (Jesus) emptied Himself of His divine nature, to assume the form of a servant and become like man.

Do you believe this???

Jesus did that for us so that we can be with Him through ETERNITY.

This was not an easy task for Him but he did it willingly.

He asks us to be a servant to our spouse.

He knows that it is HARD for us so he left us a “helper.”

Have you ever watched “Cupcake Wars” on the FOOD NETWORK CHANNEL?  They give you a team in order to help you win.

The Holy Spirit is better than a team.

The Holy Spirit is God himself and he wants he help you WIN.

Why would you not want the Holy Spirit to invade your being, to help make you the spouse that God wants you to be.

You can do it right this minute.

Just ask the Holy Spirit to take complete control and let go.

You will see a miracle in your attitude.

You will have those “Happy Hands.”

NOTE: Don’t miss tomorrow’s post.  Daily there is a new post.

LIGHT SHOW

About fifteen years ago my husband and I were at the Miami, Florida airport. We were taking a plane to Cuba. As we were in line, we noticed that everyone going on our flight had kerosene lamps. It seemed very unusual but we had no idea what they were for till we got to Cuba. At anytime all the lights in the country of Cuba would go off. It made it very dangerous for people driving because roads were pitch black. It was also dangerous for anyone to be walking the streets after dark so they did it at their own risk. We were told that hundreds of people were killed on their roads at night, both walking and driving.

I was very upset with Fidel Castro that he mistreated his people as to not even supply them with lighting. I must admit that it really made me appreciate my country along with artificial lighting.

Every night we have the freedom to have a LIGHT SHOW.

As “profile peekers”, let’s take another look at this Proverbs 31 woman.

“She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night.” Proverbs 31:18

This verse shows us her attitude towards her wealth as a possession since it is referring to financial gain.

In Hebrew, the word “profit” is cachar, which means PROFIT or GAIN.

We see from that verse that the virtuous woman was financially sensible.

Do you own your wealth, or does it own you?

“For the love of money is a root of all sorts of evil, and some by longing for it have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.” 1Tim.6:10

This verse is telling us that it is the LOVE of money that is the problem.

The virtuous woman knew how to make money, and spend it according to Godly principles.

The possession of money is not what made her excellent, it was her ATTITUDE towards money.

Do you say as a Christian that everything you own belongs to God?

If you can’t GIVE freely, then your treasure is not in heaven.

What does money mean to you? Security? Power? Importance?

Your desire for wealth is a spiritual stumbling block if your answer is yes to any of the above.

Your attitude about money should be one of a steward.

Money should be a TOOL for God to use.

Do you and your spouse argue about money?  Take a money inventory about your attitude.

The other thing we learn in this verse is the PRIDE she takes in doing a good job.

No one worries about her responsibilities not being taken care of whether it is night or day because her lamp is on.

In Matt.25:1-13 it talks about the prudent and foolish virgins. Ten young virgins were waiting for their bridegroom. Five brought extra oil for their lamps, five did not. The ones with extra oil were prepared to go out and meet the bridegroom when He arrived at midnight.

Materialism can easily distract us from spiritual readiness.

Are you PREPARED for an emergency or a disaster?

Remember that it is important to budget for giving, saving, getting out of debt and emergencies.

This excellent woman was WATCHFUL and CAREFUL.

As long as God’s lamp is burning in us, we will never be weary in well doing.

Do you allow the Holy Spirit to use you as a WISE spouse in your marriage?

Use the wisdom that God has given you.

Remember, every night we can have a light show!

NOTE: Don’t miss tomorrow’s post. Daily there is a new post.

STARS ON ICE

In 1992 Kristi Yamaguchi won the gold metal in the “Winter Olympics” and the “World Championship.”  From 1992-2002, she toured with the program “Stars on Ice”, which was made up of celebrity figure skaters.

The definition of figure skating is an Olympic sport where individuals perform intricate and challenging moves on ice skates.  The reality is that this definition is not the whole story.  They spend their lifetime, minimum of 8 hours a day, 7 days a week since they are approximately 6 years old, practicing.  One parent gives up all their time and career to take their child from ballet, to gymnastics, to an array of ice skating lessons.   These competitors have disciplined muscles and skill that is unbelievable.

In Proverbs 31, the virtuous woman is identified as a woman of strength.

As we continue with our “profile peeking”, let us see what we can find.

Prov. 31:17  “She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.”

The word “strength” in Hebrew is OZ, which means boldness, power, and strong.

In Hebrew the word “arm” is Zarowa which figuratively refers to force.

This woman vigorously goes about her DUTIES and does what she does with all her might.

She keeps herself healthy and strong by proper health practices—adequate rest and exercise, and a good diet.

She is energetic, strong and a hard worker.

God’s word urges wives to lead productive lives and to be hard workers.

As we see all that goes into ice skating, and that is for trophies and ribbons, we need to ask ourselves how much more we should be doing for God.

High energy living is here to stay in the world now.

The Old Testament gives us many examples of industrious women.  One was Deborah, who was a prophetess, judge and leader.  Ruth the widow worked the fields gathering wheat and barley.  Lydia was a dealer in purple cloth and Dorcas made clothes.

Whatever your work is, do you put it before God or your husband?

Nothing should ever come before Faith or your family.

The “virtuous woman” keeps herself and her family in perfect health with proper food and clothing.

Can you be the great steward of the time that you have on earth?

Can you give the first and the best of your EFFORTS to God and your husband?

Do you put into your efforts all that you have in your being?

Can you give the first and the best of your ENERGY to God and your husband?

Are you well prepared so that you can put all your energy into it?

Can you give the first and the best of your STRENGTH to God and your husband?

Regardless of the difficulties and opposition, do you have the perseverance to finish the job?

The “virtuous woman” didn’t have the words GIVE UP in her vocabulary.

God doesn’t give up on you!

DON’T YOU GIVE UP!

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow’s post.  Daily there is a new post.

WONDER WOMAN LIVES

In the early 70’s there was a program on TV called “Wonder Woman.” This woman was perfect in stature, looks and strength. Everyone wanted to look like her. One night when my husband and I went to dinner, she was in the restaurant. I noticed her because she was so tall and beautiful. Her role was to be a female “Superman.”

The bible has Proverbs 31 virtuous woman, who to us women, she seems like a “Wonder Woman” with supernatural power.

Once again we will continue our series on this Proverbs 31 woman as a “profile peeker” to see who she really is.

“She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.” Prov.31:16

Here is a woman who is balancing her personal life with her professional life.

This woman who is TRUSTED by her husband is hard-working and shrewd.

There is much liberty when we submit to God’s order and we see that she had liberty of choice.

“She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.”

The principle here is that this woman uses her mind as she envisions the long-range benefits of her decisions.

She doesn’t make rash decisions, but logically analyzes a situation.

In Larry Burkett’s book called PERSONAL FINANCES he states, “It is important that wives and mothers excel at what they do. Usually the mother becomes the teacher of habits in the home, and her attitudes are generally reflected by her children. If she excels at what she does and keeps the home well-organized, she can be a great asset to home financial planning.”

His comment is almost exactly what this Proverbs 31 woman was like.

It is hard to juggle all the balls that are thrown at you daily, isn’t it?

Life is busy—especially if you are a working mother with small children.

We are expected to bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, serve it, clean up the dishes, and do it all OVER AGAIN the next day.

God will give you strength.

Isa.40:29 “He gives strength to the weary, and increases the power of the weak.”

God can renew your strength to ACCOMPLISH all that is on your plate for the day.

Are you overwhelmed? Facing a lot?

TURN TO GOD!!

Prov.31:16, goes on to say that she spends her money wisely, providing for her family.

This vineyard provides for the future because it keeps producing grapes for wine. She can plant more vines and then buy more land.

Are you the type of person who buys items on a whim?

Do you consider what the item will be worth to you later on?

This woman is not borrowing money or using credit cards.

This woman uses spare money out of her SAVINGS.

This is exactly what God desires for each one of us.

He doesn’t want us begging, borrowing or in agonizing debt.

God wants to see us in financial freedom with all our needs met.

1Tim.2:10 ”For the love of money is the root of all sorts of evil, and some by longing for it have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.”

In pursuit of making more money, we can choose to neglect the important priorities in our lives.

We can neglect spending time with our SPOUSE or make poor decisions that lack integrity.

Prayerfully determine your financial priorities.

Distinguish between needs and wants.

If you are in debt, get out of debt!

Glorify God with your marriage.

Let the HOLY SPIRIT set up short term and long term goals for you.

Start today!

NOTE: Don’t miss tomorrow’s post. Daily there is a new post.

MARRIAGE MIRRORS GOD’S IMAGE

After God created the earth and the animals, He said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over the cattle, over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”  The account then continues, “So God created man in His own image; in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them” (Gen.1:26,27).

God’s first purpose for creating man and woman and joining them in marriage was to mirror His image on planet earth.  Focus your attention on those words, mirror His image.  The Hebrew word for mirror means to relect God, to magnify, exalt, and glorify Him.

God intends for your marriage to reflect His image to a world that desperately needs to see who He is.  That’s why your mirror needs constant polishing in the light of His Word.  Because you are created in the image of God, people who wouldn’t otherwise know what God is like should be able to look at you and your relationship with your spouse and get a genuine, awe-inspiring glimpse of the divine.

NOTE:  This was taken from “Family Life Marriage Bible” by Dennis & Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow’s post.  Daily there is a new post.

SATURDAY – QUESTION & ANSWER 

Question #1. My question is, is there any thing like this for husbands?  Is there something to help them understand how woman think and function.  We have certain needs also that have to be met.

Answer #1.  First I want to state that I don’t know of any blog that is for husbands.  I know it seems a little unfair, but they say most marriage books are sold to women.  I feel that it is the way God made us.  We are more emotional and look for remedies.  A man controls his emotions better than a woman but he still has feelings and emotions.  In the book , “Love and Respect” by Emerson Eggerich, he talks about the marriage treaty.  He uses Eph.5:33 as his guideline.  It tells the husband to love his wife, and the wife to respect her husband.  He calls it the “Crazy Cycle” when neither one does their part.  It only takes one partner to get off the “Crazy Cycle”.  I was so excited when I read that because you can have a great marriage, even if your husband does not cooperate.  This is what gave me the incentive to teach on marriage.  If not, then I would think that my teaching is useless unless the husband was listening also right next to his wife.  As the wife, you keep studying Gods word, partner with the Holy Spirit and be obedient to what God is teaching you.  Your husband will see such a change in you that he will become sensitive to your needs.  My goal in life, is to please God and not quench the Holy Spirit.  In the process, if my husband treats me with kindness, that is a big plus for me.  Other good marriage books you can get are “Laugh your way to a better Marriage” by Mark Gungor.  It is such a good feeling to know that I can control the atmosphere in my marriage by my own actions and allowing the Holy Spirit to be my guide.

Question #2.  My question is about sex.  What is wrong or right in sex?  Sex is Gods great idea and the marriage bed is undefiled, but I still have a question mark in my mind.  I want to be able to please my husband and not do something that I am not suppose to be doing.

Answer # 2.    There is a great book called “Intended for Pleasure” by Ed and Gayle Wheat.  Remember that you need to ask your husband what he wants for satisfaction.  He should be your guide.  I will be giving you some comments from the book called, “The Marriage Book” by Nicky and Sila Lee.  Sex is an act of giving.  Good sex requires both husband and wife to think how best to give each other pleasure through their lovemaking.  Sex is not a gift for self-gratification.  It is a way of giving ourselves to one another, submitting to each other’s needs and desires.  Sexual intercourse is the most intimate way of showing love to your spouse and it involves making sacrifices for each other.1Cor.7:4 “The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.”  The art of giving oneself to another person can feel foreign at first; but this art must be cultivated in every area of marriage, particularly in the area of sex.