7 Apr

The third thing that your husband needs is a GOOD LOOKING wife.

In the book “For Women Only” by Shaunti Feldhahn, I will be using some comments and statistics.

A wife’s blind spot is that she doesn’t know how important it is to her husband that she takes care of her looks and doesn’t look like a slouch around him.

Statistics show that women spend 40% of their free time on social networking.

This statistic shows where women today are setting their priorities.

When a survey was done, seven out of ten men indicated they would be EMOTIONALLY bothered if their wife let herself go and didn’t make the effort to do something about it.   These are happily, married, younger, church going men.

83% of men said that he wants his wife to look and feel good.  She doesn’t have to look the way she did the day they met, but it’s important that she makes an effort to look good now.

97% of men said they would be willing to make an effort to help their wives do what’s necessary to get in shape.

The effort you put into your appearance is extremely HIGH on his priority list.

Husbands feel it affects him because it affects his wife’s ability to do things and her self-worth and her desires.

Your dress is also important to God.  1Tim.2:9 “In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety…”

The word “shamefacedness” in the Greek implies  to dress with reverence towards God.

Here are some areas for you to consider:

FIRST, celebrate our God-given individuality and body—make the best of it.

Most husbands don’t want their wife to be so super sensitive about their bodies.

Husbands don’t care if you have a PERFECT body or not.

You are the one who cares!!

SECOND, be careful that you are not trying to be a size 2.

THIRD, we need to accept how complicated and hypersensitive the appearance issue is for both partners.

You liked that he enjoyed your looks during courtship, but many women feel outright resentful that her appearance still matters so much to him now.

We need to show our man that we’re willing to make the effort to ADDRESS something that is very important to him.

Your effort matters most!!!

The fact that you are willing to make the effort to take care of yourself FOR HIM is the point.

This is BIG!!

Those of us who don’t believe in divorce may need to own up to a sneaking COMPLACENCY.

Because our husbands have pledged their faithfulness for a “better or for worse”, and because we know “it’s what’s inside that counts,” we can easily migrate to the idea that what’s outside doesn’t matter.

Our husbands end up feeling disregarded, disrespected, and hurt, when we willingly ignore what is on the outside.

Our husbands FEEL LOVED and cared for when we make the effort.

Happiness in your marriage does depend on your appearance.

Your husband wants to be proud of you!!!!

Here are areas that you can cover:

FIRST, are you practicing weight control?

Once again, you don’t have to be a size 2.

You just have to be a healthy size.

There are an array of diets and exercises in the internet.

SECOND, are you using make up properly?

Do you over do it with the makeup or under do it?

Do you just put it on during the week but omit weekends when with your husband?

THIRD, does he like your hairstyle?

Ask him!!

Current hairstyles may not be attractive to him.

He might be tired of your current hairstyle.

FOURTH, do your clothes fit you right?

Are your clothes to tight and showing your bulges?

Are your clothes to baggy because you lost weight?

You don’t need expensive clothes.

Never wear something you have worn the day before.

FIFTH, how is your personal hygiene?

Are you taking care of your teeth?

Are your clothes clean?

SIXTH, watch your posture.

SEVENTH,  watch your gestures.

Try to always smile.

EIGHTH, do you make the most of what you have?

You don’t need to have a perfect body or looks.

Attractiveness is what you do with what you have.

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post.  Daily there is a new post.

12 Responses to “HORRID BLIND SPOT”

  1. nancysalazar April 7, 2011 at 1:13 pm #

    Good for you! Remember that the devil will try to lie to you. I know that you are asking it of him for his benefit. The devil will tell you that if he really cared about you, he would do it. He proves to you everyday that he loves and cares for you by putting his family first. We daily need to practice allowing the Holy Spirit in the middle of our marriage!!

  2. nancysalazar April 7, 2011 at 6:36 pm #

    Thanks Christina! Have a blessed eve!

  3. nancysalazar April 7, 2011 at 6:39 pm #

    Thanks to you. It is always a blessing to know that women are doing their best. I see God smiling down on us. lol!
    Have a great evening.

  4. Monica P. April 7, 2011 at 9:57 pm #

    Thanks for the reminder! 🙂

  5. christina reyes April 8, 2011 at 7:14 am #

    This is a wonderful reminder of how taking a little bit of time to fix our selves up goes such a long way with our hubbies, I myself joined a weight program and have successfully lost 24.4 lbs. I am excited first of all I feel healthier, my husband says it doesn’t matter to him, but I know that it does , He compliments me alot more now!!!

    Thank You Sister Nancy

    • nancysalazar April 8, 2011 at 9:55 am #

      Hi Christina! Yes it does matter to them. He married you because he enjoyed your looks. Years ago when I had long hair, I had my husband drop me off to get my hair done. I didn’t tell him I was going to cut it. When he came to pick me up, he passed me by. I had to flag him down. He has treated me different ever since. For 45 years I had my hair almost the same. They notice and love it!!! I am very proud of you for going on your weight program. YOU GO GIRL!!!

  6. Monica P. April 8, 2011 at 10:13 am #

    Awesome blog Sister Nancy!!! Thank you for the reminders!! 🙂

    • Monica P. April 8, 2011 at 10:18 am #

      Oooops sorry for posting 2x!! Didn’t think the first one went thru! 🙂 But I read this blog twice it’s so good!

  7. Toni O. April 9, 2011 at 7:06 am #

    Awesome post! Even read every single comment! So… Here’s my excuse… I’m married to this guy who indoubtedly loves me to pieces. He says there isn’t a thing he doesn’t love about me. He will scrub my feet & give me pedis, pick lint from my toes if I had any, sniff my underarms, litterally & I will spare you the rest! You get my point. So, why wouldn’t I save myself the time &save the hair & makeup for weekends only?! He loves me just the way I am…right? No?? Well then, I must confess, I’ve been delusional & LAZY! For the last almost 8 yrs! Yikes… Thanks for clueing me in! I was gonna bum it today until dinner tonight but I think I’m gonna slip on my new red maternity dress now! Looking forward to whay’s after dinner lol!! Thank you Sis Nancy xoxo

  8. Toni O. April 9, 2011 at 7:37 am #

    One more thing! Wanted to thank you for being so candid about Pastor Richard being a “Perfectionist”. I have a different word or perspective for people…It’s called EXCELLENCE! For years, when I think of P. Richard, I think of how he does EVERYTHING in the church with excellence. It didn’t surprise me to hear from you that this also carries out in his personal life & that he is a lint picker lol! And your right, It doesn’t neccessarily take money or fine clothes to make something look great. Whether it’s a ministry or just our appearance. I’m in a small church that doesn’t have alot of resources but I literally think of P. Richard in everything I do for God & I find a way to do it with Excellence if I’m gonna bother doing it at all. Now it’s time to start handeling my appearance & marriage with Excellence!

    • nancysalazar April 9, 2011 at 12:20 pm #

      Hi Toni! I totally enjoyed your comments. It was so cute to read how much he loves you. That is such a blessing to hear. One of the things you have to always remember is that every marriage starts out like that. I am not trying to bring any insecurities into your life. The statistics show that over 50% of marriages don’t make it, so that leaves me to believe that something happened somewhere. They didn’t start out planning on divorce. They were crazy about each other. As Christians, we don’t want to give place to the devil. The effort we put into our marriage is for God even though we all benefit from it. Keep up the great work! Love you

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