LOVE YOUR SPOUSE

Why in the World Did I Marry My Spouse?

When Problems come into a marriage, the first thing that happens is that we get attacked in our mind. The evil one tells us that we are better off divorced. Then the BIG QUESTION comes. Why did I marry my spouse?

The Answer is clear in Gods word.

Mal. 2:15 “But did He not make them one, having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring.Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let not deal treacherously with the wife of his youth.”

The word “seek” in Hebrew is baqash.  The primitive root word is to search.  It implies begging.  This is killing me as I am typing it.  God is begging us to raise our kids Godly? 

God makes man and woman one so they will marry and raise godly children.

Sad to say, with 50% of marriages ending in divorce, the children are thrown into a traumatic situation.

In the book “Helping children survive divorce” by Dr. Archibald D. Hart, it states that children of divorced Christian parents are at greater risk than others.

They feel like why didn’t God make my mom and dad love each other?  The child could easily become disillusioned with Christianity.

This is a list of a few losses that children face:

1. Loss of home.

2. Loss of my neighborhood friends.

3. Loss of convenient transportation.

4. Dramatic reduction in our standard of living.

5. Loss of family outings together.

Divorce makes enemies of those who once declared undying love for one another. It does damage to children.

Here are some of the reasons why divorce is emotionally damaging to children:

1. Fear and anxiety

2. Abandonment and rejection

3. Aloneness and sadness

4. Frustration and anger

5. Rejection and resentment, and

6. Reestablishment of trust

Before we think it is all about us and forget if we divorce, our child will be another statistic.  So turn to Gods word for counsel.

Eph. 5:33 “Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

In the book called “Love and Respect”, the author calls this the crazy cycle. That is because neither partner will do their part till the other one does. Then they just go around and around on the “crazy cycle”.

It only takes one person to do their part and get off the “crazy cycle”.

You married him to show him love and respect in front of your children and the children of others.

You are to be a living epistle to your children and raise them godly.

OH!   Yes!!   ENJOY THE JOURNEY!!

In Search for my “Friendly Friend”

It is said that if you ask a woman to describe what she wants in a husband, she will describe her best friend.

Well I’m glad my husband wasn’t looking for a wife that was like his best friend cause a “Tarzan” I am not.

Malichi 2:14b “”…She is your companion and your wife by covenant…”

The dictionary shows the pan in the middle of the word companion. Pan is the word for bread. Bread is a comfort food. The dictionary has the definition for companion as one who accompanies another.

The Hebrew root word for companion implies intimate partner; accomplice.

THIS EXCITES ME!!!

I’ll tell you why. It is because God made something in husbands that will make them want to be with their wife. And vice versa. He made something in wives that makes them want to be around their hubbies.

YeeHaa! Is that the way you spell it? I don’t know!?! In Los Angeles they say, “What it is”. I think?

I have heard wives tell me for over 40 years, “I don’t know what my husband wants?”

Okay, listen up girls. I’ll tell you!

He wants his GIRLFRIEND back! The one he married. He wants his FRIENDLY FRIEND. He wants his CHEERLEADER!

Has anyone seen her??? Well he hasn’t either for a long time. POOR GUY!

You know that game “‘Where in the world is Waldo? Well where in the world is ____________________.

Maybe she is watching the Food Network Channel. No? Maybe she is texting her entourage instead of paying attention to her husband. No? Maybe she is Shopping. No? Maybe she is busy with the children. No?

Right now I have your attention. You are saying all sorts like:

“I work hard and I am tired when I get home.”

“How do I know what he wants to do? He doesn’t even talk to me.”

“I have kids and they have needs. What am I suppose to do?”

“He has his own hobbies and friends and could care less what I do!”

“I’ll be honest, he is just boring. I do my thing and he does his.”

“I tried. He doesn’t want to be with me.”

“I have other things that are more inspiring than to spend time with him.”

“He is fine just the way he is. Don’t rock the boat.”

“Oh! All of the above.”

Ok girls, I’ll mind my own business (MYOB). I have an assignment for you wives that are any of the above. It’s easy. All you need is a black marker. Are you ready? This is easy!! Start marking out of your bible all the verses that call you a companion or a helpmeet. Don’t forget Proverbs 31. The virtuous woman whose husband is known in the gates, his heart safely trusts in her, he has no lack of gain, she does him good and not evil all the days of her life, and he praises her because of all her thoughtfulness. Don’t forget Song of Solomon, etc.

Now for the wives that don’t have a black marker in their hand. Ask him what he wants to do. Sit and watch football with him. Go see those movies where everything blows up. Go visit your in-laws with him. Go to a game with him. Learn about his hobby or sport. Go sit with him in the garage while he exercises. Seem interested and ask him questions about what he likes. Smile at him. Give him gifts (small and not expensive). Go for a walk with him. Tell him you love him. Listen to him. Listen to him. Listen to him.

Read this once: If you don’t find a babysitter for your children, your husband will find a babysitter for him.

Where in the world did his GIRLFRIEND go? God expects you to be his CHEERLEADER, his FRIENDLY FRIEND!

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