LOVE YOUR SPOUSE

STEPS TO MARITAL HAPPINESS (part 1) 

The word “blessed” in the bible means “happy.”

In Matt.5:3 Gods word says, “…blessed are the poor in spirit…”

This is a guarantee that if we want to be happy in our marriage we must be “poor in spirit.”

Statistics show that in earlier years of marriage couples are not as happy as in the later part of their marriage.

If we FOLLOW Gods plan for marriage, then we don’t have to wait for our later years.

We can find fulfillment and happiness every day in Christ.

What then is “poor in spirit” and what do we need to do to attain it?

To be “poor in spirit” is to have a humble opinion of ourselves.

As a spouse, you must have no righteousness of your own.

It is the OPPOSITE of pride, vanity and ambition.

Do you display pride in your marriage towards your spouse when he is wrong in an issue?

How about in spiritual AREAS?

Are you vain when it comes to yourself?  May be you convince yourself that you just want to look nice.

Does the importance of your career sometimes drown out your marital responsibilities?

How do you know if you are “…poor in spirit…?”

First, are you a Christ-admirer?

This means that you should want Christ in your life more than anything.  This is a person whose heart and mind is totally sold out to God.

Second, do you spend much time in prayer?

Do you realize that your marriage depends on your prayer life to intercede for your spouse.  We are commanded to intercede for others especially for our spouse.  That is what a “helpmeet” does as their responsibility.

Third, are you weaned from yourself?

Psa.131:12 “My soul is even as a weaned child.”  Are you hung up on yourself?  Do you find yourself staying in your comfort zone?  Do you put what makes you happy over what makes your spouse happy?  If so, you have not been weaned from yourself.

Fourth, are you lowly in heart?

Job 42:6 “…I abhor myself in dust…” Job rolled himself in dust to show his sense of unworthiness.  What do you do to show God that you are unworthy?  You can start by looking for opportunities to serve your spouse.

Are you willing to be where God places you?

Are you willing to BEAR what God lays on you as a spouse?

I hope you are not thinking you deserve God’s favor because of how hard you have it as a spouse!!

You need to be willing to be God’s Hands.

That is when you WILL BE blessed and happy.

Henry Ward Beecher said, “The strength and the happiness of a man consists in finding out the way in which God is going, and going in that way, too.”

If you want a happy marriage, you have to see yourself as you are, and want to make the changes in your life.

Which path are you going to take your marriage down today?

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

SEXUAL FULFILLMENT in CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE

NOTE FROM NANCY:  The following is from the back of a book called “Intended for Pleasure.”  It is a must for every married couple.  Because of the content, I have decided to not post important information you need but to recommend that you purchase it.  This way parents can delicately talk to their children if they decide to. If I posted this information on my blog, parents may not approve of their children reading it.  This book was written to help married adults fulfill and enjoy their sex relationship.

Make your sexual relationship the fulfilling experience God meant it to be.

GOD GAVE HUMANKIND THE GIFT OF SEX.

But many couples don’t experience the kind of joy and fulfillment God intended.

If you’ve ever been frustrated with a lack of intimacy in your marriage, or if you just want to know more about how you can get the most out of your relationship, Intended for Pleasure is for you.

This honest and frank resource will answer your questions about sex and sexuality, improving sexual response, sex techniques for pregnancy, birth control, sex at any age, solutions for sexual problems, and much more.

All of the questions you’ve been afraid to ask (or didn’t even know to ask!) are answered right here.

The most important book on Christian sexuality is better than ever.

A CLASSIC FOR THIRTY YEARS, Intended for Pleasure is an easy-to-read reference book that combines biblical teaching on love and marriage with the latest medical information on sex and sexuality.

This popular resource gently encourages married couples to make their sexual relationship the fulfilling experience it was meant to be.

This is a complete sex manual with basic facts, illustrations, and frank discussion of all facets of human sexuality.

A perfect gift for newlyweds and a sourcebook for pastors and marriage counselors, this book has helped more than a million people understand and enjoy the gift God intended for pleasure.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

LOVE IS FERTILE SOIL

“…that you being rooted and grounded in love…”

When we plant a living seed into healthy soil, we expect it to blossom.

And just as flowers in a greenhouse are supplied with an ideal environment for growth, so a home filled with love provides the ideal atmosphere for people to bloom.

We know that children who grow up in loving families tend to sleep deeper, stand taller, and venture farther than those who are never secure in their parents’ love.

Likewise, when you provide safe, loving soil for your spouse to grow in, they will be more likely to flourish with confidence, knowing that they are valued and secure.

What happens when someone is loved over the years?

Their needs are met, dreams encouraged, opinions heard, and successes praised.

They’re assured of your patience and forgiveness when they fail, and free to express themselves honestly without fear of your judgement.

They’ll even weather intense seasons of disappointment with the stability your love supplies.

Admit it–we’d all love to be loved like that.

Questions

How will your mate be affected by living with you in the future?

Will they become radiant or saddened?

Confident or angry?

Will you dare to create a loving environment for your spouse to grow in?

NOTE:  This article was take from “The Love Dare” by Kendrick

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help make your marriage a success.

LOVE FINDS FAVOR

“Do not let kindness and truth leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.  So you will find favor and good repute in the sight of God and man.” Prov.3:3-4 NASB

Kind people simply find favor wherever they go—even at home.

Kindness is attractive because it gives value to the other person and honors them with gentleness and respect.

When you’re operating from kindness, you’re careful how you treat your spouse, never being harsh.

You’re sensitive.

Tender.

Even if you need to say hard things, you’ll bend over backwards to make your rebuke or challenge as easy as possible for them to hear.

It’s the act of speaking the truth in love, which few of us tend to do naturally.

We feel that if our words are true, the tone of communication should also be accepted.

But love finds favor by speaking with gentleness, removing the heat from the discussion.

This allows the focus to be on the truth in your statement, not on the manner in which it was delivered.

A spoonful of kindness indeed helps the truth go down.

PRAYER

“Heavenly Father, help me to walk in kindness and truth.  Give me the foresight to hold my tongue until I can filter my words through the standards of honesty and love.  In Jesus’ name, amen.”

NOTE:  This article is from “Love Dare” which is published by Kendrick.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help you succeed in marriage.

MARRIAGE IS EMOTIONAL WORK

Emotional work refers to managing your feelings so others can see your facial and bodily display.

The strongest positive effect on wives’ marital well-being , is when a spouse SUPPORTS her emotionally.

We may think that it is the physical help with housework and child care by a spouse that makes the difference in a marriage, but most wives say it is the emotional concern.

Studies show that 85% of illnesses are due to stress.

CASE AND POINT:  Jackie Robinson was the first black baseball player to be hired on a major league team.  Before that if you were black, you played on the black leagues only.  You would conclude that he must have been the greatest ball player of his time.  They had to have overlooked every white player before they would even consider Jackie Robinson.  Here are some points of interest about Jackie Robinson.

• He was not the best hitter, best runner, best catcher or overall best black player in the “negro leagues.”
• He was picked because he had been on the UCLA college baseball team.
• It was the conclusion that Jackie had the stamina to make it through the many challenges of criticism awaiting him by both the jealous black teams he was leaving behind and the prejudice white teams he had to face ahead.
• History shows us that not only did he become a better player but he received many awards.  He handled himself with such emotional control, that he opened doors for other outstanding black baseball players to be picked for the major leagues in the 1940’s

That is emotional work and Jackie Robinson changed history.

Your emotions are not an indication as to how spiritual you are but rather proof of your HUMANITY.

You need to talk to the one who speaks peace to the storm.

God wants you to be BALANCED and to be beautiful inside and out.

Jesus spoke these words to us in Matthew 5:3-12.

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled.

Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.

Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.

Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake,

Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”

This is tremendous emotional work and this was expected of every Christian.

The word “blessed” means highly favored.

God wants your marriage blessed (highly favored).

In order for you to receive Gods blessing in your marriage, you will find yourself going down a road of emotional work.

This does not mean that God doesn’t LOVE you or that there is something majorly wrong with your marriage.

It means God wants your marriage to be beautiful on the inside and outside.

God sees the stamina in you to MAKE IT through.

The Holy Spirit is there to lovingly guide you through.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

THE POWER OF A WOMAN

THE STORY OF SAMSON AND DELILAH is a potent biblical example of what human-kind has seen throughout history:  the power of a woman for good or for evil in the life of a man.  Samson could easily defeat an army of enemy warriors, but he surrendered meekly to the charms of one woman.

A woman’s power over men has not lessened since biblical days.  Today, the advertising industry exploits this power in order to sell everything from cars to toothpaste.  Magazines, billboards, posters, ad store windows use attractive women, seductive women, and blatant sexual images to catch a man’s glance and capture his attention (and, they hope, his wallet).

Female attraction can be deadly.  But death was not our Designer’s intention!  He designed feminine power to give life.  He created Eve to complete her man, to nurture life in him and to create new life through bearing children.

Many wives do not understand how profound their feminine power is.  God has blessed you with an extraordinary, ability that you can use for great good in your husband’s life.  Your power can meet his aloneness and his companionship needs, affirm his sexual identity, protect him from temptation, and keep him for life.  Use it well.

NOTE:  This article came from Family Life Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

SATURDAY Q & A  

Question #1.

How can I regain the respect I’ve lost for my husband?

Answer #1.

That’s a difficult struggle, because Ephesians 5:33 makes it clear that wives are to respect their husbands.  I suggest you make a real effort to think of things you can still respect about your husband. You have to choose to focus on the positive if you want to make your marriage last.

Pull back from the daily routine of life, look at him objectively, and say, “What is good about him?   What did I respect in the first place?”  Study him again and don’t allow yourself to be blinded by his weaknesses and inadequacies, the things you don’t like.

Some of these positive things may seem basic, but they really are important.  In fact, it’s easy for a wife to take some of these things for granted.  The fact that a husband goes to work and provides for the family financially is worthy of respect.  Maybe he plays ball with your son or daughter.  That’s worthy of respect.

You may wish he did more, but if you let him know how much you appreciate what he does, he will feel encouraged.  Say,”I’m glad I’m married to a man who’s faithful to provide for his family.”  Or write him a note expressing your appreciation and admiration.

NOTE:  This article is from Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

CAUSE OF MARITAL PRAYERLESSNESS 

If you want your marriage to thrive, then you MUST spend time in prayer.

One of the main reasons for prayerlessness is lack of faith in the integrity (completeness) of God’s word.

When faith is perfected we shall receive the answer.

Matt.9:29 “…according to your faith be it unto you…”

Matt.21:21 “If ye have faith, and doubt not…ye shall say unto this mountain Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea, (and) it shall be done.”

Mark 11:24 “Whatever things ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them and ye shall have them.”

Mark 9:23 “Jesus said unto him, “If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth.”

How to obtain achieving faith.

PRAISE IS THE ANSWER!

In the bible there is more emphasis on praise then there is on prayer.  Psa.145:10 “…all thy works shall praise thee…”

Praise is also the highest occupation of angels.  Rev.5:11-12 “And I beheld, and I heard the voice of many angels round about the throne and…the number of them was ten thousand times ten thousand, and thousands of thousands, saying with a loud voice, Worthy is the lamb!”

In heaven it is important to maintain a chorus of praise unceasingly day and night around the throne, so it must be supremely important on EARTH.

If this is what occupies the total time in heaven, it must be just as important on earth.

CASE AND POINT:  This morning I was watching T.D. Jakes.  He was preaching and said something I knew but for some reason it was profound to me today.  He said how when he became a pastor, his first church offering that came in the collection plate was a total of $2.50.   He said how much the enemy had tormented him as he was preparing for the opening of his church.  He looked at the plate and said, “The devil hassled me over just $2.50” Then he said that it wasn’t about the $2.50 it was about where he was headed and what he would accomplish.

We have an enemy who knows the power within us!

The enemy knows how important our marriage is and where we are HEADED as a couple and what we will accomplish.

The enemy knows that you are a champion in Gods eyes and that you will damage and destroy what satan wants to achieve.

You were MADE to be fruitful and create.

You scare the enemy because of who you are.

You don’t have to have a title in your church or a prominent position to PRAISE God.

Praise is the spark plug of faith.

For ANSWERED prayer we have to pray in faith and praise gives us faith.

When you praise and pray, then God can trust you with bigger problems and more insight.

Whoever heard of an athlete training for an obstacle race, pleading with his trainer to remove the OBSTACLES?

There will always be trials and obstacles in our marriage that will cause us to loose faith.

How can you be an OVERCOMER in your marriage if there is nothing to overcome?

If you want what you’ve never had, then you must do what you’ve never done!

NOW GOD CAN TRUST YOU WITH BIGGER PROBLEMS!!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

LEAVE THE THREATS BEHIND

One of the Ten Commandments of Marriage should be, “Never threaten to leave.”  Threats create cracks in the commitment, erode the security of total acceptance, and fuel fear.  In addition, threats rarely cause a person to change; they communicate only rejection.

Rather than to threaten to leave, each of us should creatively express our commitment and acceptance to our mates.
God gave us an example to follow.  He didn’t tell us only once that he loved us, He told us often and in many ways.  He even sent His son to demonstrate His love, and He gave us His Word.  He continues to show us His love through the ongoing ministry of the Holy Spirit.

Our mates need to hear words of commitment and acceptance, not just once but many times.  Tell your mate often how much you love her.  Tell him you accept him just as he is.

Each time a difficulty arises in your relationship–a misunderstanding, a difference, or a clash of wills–remind your mate that you intend to remain loyal.  Assure him that your commitment will not change because of this unfortunate situation.  Such infusions of truth will become the reinforcements you both need to work through any difficulties.

NOTE:  This post is an article taken out of Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

REASONS MARITAL PRAYERS ARE NOT ANSWERED (Part 3)

The third reason for God not answering our marital prayers is when our life is prayerless.

 God will not ACT on behalf of your marriage if you do not pray.

Prayer is part of the apprenticeship program God ordained to train us for our royal duties.

God can overcome satan on His own but this would rob us of the practice and strength we would gain by overcoming.

ILLUSTRATION:  Larry Byrd vs. Magic Johnson.  Both of these men were basketball rivals.  They became outstanding because they tried to out do each other.  They were both hired to do a commercial ad together which was to take place outside of Byrd’s mothers house.  When it was lunch time, Byrd asked Magic Johnson to have lunch with him instead of eating inside his trailer.  When Magic accepted, Byrd took him right into his mother’s house where lunch had been prepared for the two of them.  After being rivals for years, it was the first time in their life they had ever talked to each other.  They discovered in that conversation there was a lot they had in common.  After that day, they became best friends.  They continued to stay close for the years to come.  When Magic found out he had the HIV virus, Byrd was the first friend he called.  Byrd was very upset about his friends illness and committed himself to be his encourager.

Larry Byrd and Magic Johnson both became champions by practicing to defeat one another.

By you and I praying, this gives us an edge on the assaults that satan throws at us.

Daniel’s intercession

Daniel was in prayer and fasting for his nation.  God heard his prayer the first day but it took 21 days for the angel to get the answer to him.

Daniel 10:12-13  “…the mighty Evil Spirit who overrules the kingdom of Persia blocked my way.  Then Michael, one of the top officers of the heavenly army, came to help me, so that I was able to break through these spirit rulers of Persia.”

While Daniel was interceding, a battle was raging in heaven.

Satan will never allow your prayer answer to reach you if he can prevent it.

Psa.106:23 “…had Moses not stood in the breach, to turn away His wrath, God would have destroyed them.”

One of the reasons why prayers are not answered is the failure to continue with persistence until the answer is received.

Satan is a trained strategist and will not acknowledge defeat until he has to.

Luke 11:9 “…ask and keep on asking…the door shall open…”

Hab.2:3 “…if it be long, then wait…”   This verse is talking about waiting for the answer.

It is the battle of the wills between satan and us.

Eph.6:13 “…take up the whole armor of God…having done all, to stand…”

If you want to see your marital prayers answered, then pray and don’t stop.

Those are not my words, those are God’s divine words to us.

He wants us to be champions in the area of prayer.

He wants us to have a “Marriage of Champions.”

If Magic Johnson was able to achieve what he did through practice, how much more can we accomplish in our marriage.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help make your marriage a success.