WHAT ENERGIZES YOUR SPOUSE
The fifth thing a husband can’t do without is for his wife to be PROUD OF HIM.
He needs your Admiration!!
A sculptor is an artist who shapes a hard material (stone, wood, etc.) by shaving or chipping away at it.
Wives are masters at sculpting.
They say that when a woman marries a man, she can’t wait to change him. When a man marries a woman, he hopes she will never change.
When you tell your husband that you think he is wonderful, he is ENERGIZED to do more.
It inspires him to handle new responsibilities and to perfect his skills.
Your appreciation of him brings more SATISFACTION than his paycheck.
Behind every man should be an admiring wife.
Instead of an admiring wife, there ends up being a wife with a CHISEL in her hand ready to sculpt a change in him.
In Dr. Laura Schlessingers book, “The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands”, has some very interesting things to say.
She states in her book that a smart wife doesn’t start chipping away at who he is and what he does.
How would you feel if you married your husband and he walks through the door with a life size COOKIE CUTTER of the ideal wife he wanted and you have to measure up to that.
As ridiculous as it sounds, this is what wives do to husbands.
It is under the umbrella of “I am trying to help him.”
It is in the same drawer with your chisel and it looks like a chisel.
Men first YEARNED for their mothers’ acceptance, approval, and appreciation, and then their wives’.
When a wife gives them the three A’s, acceptance, approval, and appreciation, a husband will do anything to please her.
To keep a husband, you need to admire him for the things he ENJOYS and wants to do also.
If you don’t, he will perceive himself as being an annoyance and irrelevant to his wives’ more important motivations.
Laura has the following in her book:
“Wives want romance, hugs, kisses, and surprises. They would get more of these things if they hadn’t just told hubby he was stupid or that a time out with the guys was tantamount to abandonment…or that four hours out of 168 to himself is being overly selfish or self-indulgent.” (4hrs. in a week)
There was a time many years ago, when my husband had to travel quite a bit to our other churches. The weight and heaviness was starting to get me down. I read a book about Oral Roberts. His wife said that there was a place in Palm Springs that he would go to in order to clear his mind and hear from God. When she saw him flustered, she would tell him he needed to get away. I noticed that when my husband was away, he would come back energized. He would be renewed. When he got away, he could see the ministry with revelation.
I am not suggesting that all husbands take off nor spend large portions of time away.
Women are often attracted to someone who is athletic, musical, etc.
Then after marriage or as time passes, they don’t want them to go to practice and then not to do it anymore. Nothing!!
Your responsibility is to SUPPORT HIM in whatever brings him joy or energy.
Marriage means we share—but it also means we support the individuality necessary for mental and emotional health, spiritual growth, and ultimate well-being of the relationship.
Without this healthy balance, a marriage can decay or dissolve.
Okay girls. Put the chisel down!!!
Your marriage can become an overfilled pressure cooker, unless you have necessary OUTLETS.
Stress many times is released with quiet contemplation or a complete change in activity.
Men need some SPACE away from femininity and domesticity at times, in order to reassert their important masculinity.
I have to tell you something that I see quite a bit. Wives that have several close sisters almost always make the holiday plans. You just know on holidays their poor husbands don’t have a chance to make decisions for his family. They have to go to her family and he has to do what her sisters want to do even though he works hard and it’s his holiday also. At the beginning of the marriage, he probably wanted to do some fun things. Now he just goes with the program but has nothing to look forward to. It’s the same people with the same conversations.
GIVE HIM A BREAK, GIRLS!!! Let him plan the next holiday away from the same-old-same-old.
If your family gets their back up, then you know you are in bondage. Lol!! They should be excited for you!
Remember the three A’s: Acceptance, Approval and Appreciation. These are all a part of admiration.
ADMIRATION is an expression of your love.
1Cor.13:3 “And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not love, it profits me nothing.”
NOTE: Daily there is a new post to encourage your marriage.