DEFUSE DESTRUCTION IN YOUR MARRIAGE
Do you know how to defuse the destructive power of resentment in your marriage?
We will look at four important steps that can be taken.
First, Toss out your need for revenge.
When we are hurt, our natural instinct is to strike back at our spouse.
This is our primitive need for self-preservation.
Revenge begets revenge and there is no end to the cycle.
To forgive your spouse means that you give up your right to retaliate.
Giving up your right to retaliate against your spouse is for your benefit because there will be no end to the escalating conflict.
Second, Acquire a holy view-point.
Matt.18:21-35 is the parable about the unforgiving servant. “…and his Lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him.”
Then Jesus said, “So likewise shall my heavenly father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not everyone his brother their trespasses.”
We should have shivers down our back.
Your hurts are insignificant when compared to the hurt you have caused God.
UNLESS YOU FORGIVE THE HURT OTHERS HAVE DONE TO YOU, GOD CANNOT FORGIVE YOUR DEBT TO HIM.
Third, Hold onto a spirit of forgiveness.
Forgiveness is designed to protect us from our own anger.
It is not necessary for your spouse to admit their guilt or ask for forgiveness.
Lovingly ask your spouse to stop hurting you.
Hanging onto resentment is letting someone you despise live rent-free in your head!!
Four, Turn your resentment into kindness
In Romans 12:17-21 tells us never to be revengeful because we will be overcome with evil.
Matt.5:44 “But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you…”
There are times that we want our spouse to suffer for what they have done to us but the gospel has taken away your right to punish.
Do you want to free yourself from resentment and anger and get full advantage from forgiveness?
Turn your resentment into kindness.
When you do this:
- It gives you the feeling that you are now in control.
- It protects you from further anger.
- Possibly your spouse will not continue to hurt you.
- It keeps you from further sins.
Keep your reactions from becoming a greater sin than the original action.
YOUR HUSBAND IS NOT YOUR PROBLEM, HE IS YOUR PRIORITY.
NOTE: Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.