YOUR HUSBANDS TOP THREE NEEDS (Continued)

26 Feb

YOUR HUSBANDS TOP THREE NEEDS (Continued)

Yesterday we covered one of the top three needs in a husbands life.  The first one we discussed was respect.

In Dr. Kevin Leman’s book,  he has researched and discusses what they are.

As of yesterday, I hope you started working on RESPECT.

We have the opportunity every day to meet these needs, but ARE WE?

The second is TO BE NEEDED.

God put something in a husbands heart so that he is compelled to nourish, care, and protect his wife.

Eph.5:28-29 “So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies, he who loves his wife loves himself.  For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.”

In the Greek, that word nourish is pronounced ek-tref-o which means “to train up to be mature.”

The word cherish in the Greek means to warmly hover over.”

Your husband needs to do this for you and the children in order to fulfill his part in protecting his home.

Can I hit you with a question right here?

What happens when an issue comes up concerning your children?  When it starts to get heated.  Do you tell your husband to stay out of it because you are going to have the last word in this?  Do you have your neck movement going on?  Is your voice getting higher?  Did you just dethrone him in front of the family?  Is he not just as upset as you are and he wants the final say also?

CONTROL YOURSELF WOMAN!!   HE NEEDS TO FEEL NEEDED!

Men have fewer friends and usually don’t have best friends.

For that reason, the one your husband thinks about and cares most about is YOU!

Girls have their moms, sisters, cousins, friends, best friend, neighbors and anyone else that will listen to her “run her mouth.”

When he hears you tell him how much you need him, it causes him to feel “warm and fuzzy.”

Do men feel “warm and fuzzy”? I don’t know.  I assume so.

Maybe I should have said, “MACHO”!?!    Okay, MACHO!!

You are much HIGHER in your husbands thoughts than you think.

You think he is only interested in succeeding at work with raises, promotions, and recognitions.

Where he really wants to succeed  is AT HOME.

He needs to hear in your words and see in your actions, that he is your HERO.

BRAG about him.  Yes, BRAG!! As they say in England, “Have a go.”  Don’t treat him like I don’t really need you.

Most husbands will be loyal to the end if you respect him and show him that you need him.

YOU GO GIRL!!   Just have fun today!!

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow. We will finally find out what all three needs are.

YOUR HUSBANDS TOP THREE NEEDS:

25 Feb

YOUR HUSBANDS TOP THREE NEEDS:

RESPECT

In Dr. Kevin Leman’s book, he asked wives what they thought was the number one need in a mans life and got an array of interesting answers.

They were answers like food, remote control and sex.

Fortunately the top three needs have everything to do with his wife

This gives the wife the opportunity every day to meet these needs, but DO WE?

The first:   RESPECT

In Eph.5:33, it is the marriage treatise and one of the best scriptures on marriage.

Eph.5:33 “…let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

In the Greek, the word is pronounced fob-eh’-o.  It means to be in awe, reverence or to fear.

The important thing about this verse is that the wife and husband have to do it UNCONDITIONALLY.

No matter what the other partner does, they have to commit themselves to God by doing their part.

It can only work if it is unconditional.

This is long-term so we need to realize it is a marriage marathon.

When your husband isn’t respected, he will never by convinced that you love him.

He feels unloved !!

If he feels disrespected, he will go to other avenues to find respect.

He may become very quiet, maybe bury himself in his work, or find reasons to not come home.

There will no longer be any reason to build a relationship.

IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT??

I DON’T THINK SO!

Here are some suggestions:

1.  SMILE at him.

2.  SAY HELLO when he comes home.

3.  Don’t start COMPLAINING about things.

4.  Let him sit on his favorite chair and go into his NOTHING BOX.

5.  Don’t give him a LOOK when he has said or done something wrong.

6.  Don’t DISRESPECT his family.  He loves them.

7.  Don’t YELL at him.

8.  Let him SPEND money.  He’s not in kindergarten and he worked for it.

9.  Don’t BELITTLE him for the things he enjoys.

10. Don’t criticize him.

11. Did I leave anything out?

R  E  S  P  E  C  T    H  I  M !!   God gave you to him for support.

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow!  You will find out what your husbands second need is.

I’VE GOT TWO LOVERS

24 Feb

  I’VE GOT TWO LOVERS

And you do have two lovers also.

Yes you do and I will tell you exactly who they are:  The flesh and the spirit.

They do not like each other and they don’t get along.

Gal.5:17 “For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish.”

Every day and all through the day, our soul has a choice to obey what the spirit of God is telling us or obey what our flesh wants us to do.

This is exactly how and why fights and arguments start in marriages.

That is why it says in Lev.18:18 and repeats it in Gal.5:14 “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

If you don’t, you kill something inside your spouse. It hurts hours, days and years after it has been said.

And wives don’t exclude yourself by saying that men are not sensitive and nothing hurts them.  DON’T YOU DARE!!

We are to never assume what our husbands are thinking.

My husband told me once to never tell someone what he is thinking.

The reason is that I  don’t know what he is thinking.  I can only know what he is saying.  It is so UNFAIR to do that.

When I am talking with a wife and she starts telling me what her husband is thinking, I stop her.  Then I have her repeat exactly what he has said.

Many times it is very hard for the wife to repeat what he has said because the DUDE didn’t say anything wrong.  The wife is just making assumptions of what he is thinking

Lets look at our FIRST LOVER.  Gal.5:19 “Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like…those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.”

We like this lover. Especially “…hatred, contentions, jealousies, outburst of wrath, selfish ambitions…”

No??? Am I wrong?  Let’s ask our spouse.  Okay?!?

Let’s now look at our OTHER LOVER.  Gal.5:22 “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control…”

No assignment today, but it would be interesting if we gave a list of our two lovers and ask our spouse which one we are most like.  LOL!!

I bet our spouse can tell which lover has control of our life.

Gal.5:15 “But if you bite and devour one another, beware lest you be consumed by one another!”

OH WOW! There is a test. Look for bite marks!  [on your spouse]

Don’t get mad at me, I didn’t write that verse.  Silly you!

The Apostle Paul knows how we feel.  Read Romans 7:15-25.

He says what I want to do, I don’t do.  Then what I don’t want to do, I end up doing.

In Romans 7:24, Paul calls himself “wretched”. That word in Greek means “miserable”.

He is saying, I did it my way.  I did what I wanted to do and I’M MISERABLE!!

Wives have you ever had it out with your hubby and you won or didn’t win but did what you wanted to do anyway?

How did you feel girlfriend?  Huh, did it feel good??

May I answer that?  No, you didn”t feel good.  You felt miserable because you couldn’t even enjoy yourself.

If you allow the Holy Spirit to help you put your desires aside, you will keep from FOLLOWING THE FLESH.

Romans 8:13 “For if you live according to the …Spirit, you put to death the deeds of the body…”

You must wage war by the power of the Spirit!

Your spouse loves the OTHER LOVER best.

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows blog.  We will learn the top 3 needs in a mans life.  Can u guess them?

HIT THE ROAD JACK

23 Feb

HIT THE ROAD JACK

AND DON’T COME BACK NO MORE!   Okay.  I got it out of my system.

Who am I talking to??????   Not my Husband!!   The devil.

Malachi 2:11b “For Judah has profaned the Lord’s holy institution which He loves…”

This is a fabulous scripture that gives us loads of insight.  God loves your marriage.

He is saying that your marriage is His.  It belongs to Him.  It is his holy institution!

The word “holiness” in Hebrew is qodesh. This means that it is a consecrated, dedicated, sacred place.

Anything that is “holy” is set apart.

In God’s word we see that anything that is holy, is under attack.

That is why wives must be watchmen.  We SUPER CHARGE our man!

Case & Point:  Every time we get a new car, my husband treats it like a “sacred cow”.  Lol!! (I’m exaggerating)  We haven’t got a brand new car in decades.  They are always 1 to 2 years old.  He is gifted in buying cars.  They are always in perfect condition with low miles.  They are always priced one to two years cheaper.  Nevertheless he treats it like it just got off the assembly line.  You are afraid to burp in his  car.  Unfortunately I always initiate the car by banging the car next to us with the door while getting out.  I don’t even want to look his way after doing that .  I know it just isn’t the time for me to be searching for an endearing look from him.

How much more does God care for us and each member of our family that make up this “holy institution”.

God watches it with intense love and desires to help us through each issue if we only ask Him.

Proverbs 19:14 :Houses and riches are an inheritance from fathers, but prudent wife is from the Lord.”

Here we see two blessings for a man:  An inheritance of riches and a prudent wife.

In Hebrew, the word “Prudent” is sakal.  It means to be intelligent, skillful and full of wisdom.

If you walk  in the spirit, as God intended you to, you will have a lot to bring into your marriage.

The devil lies to wives and tells them that all they are good for is not much.

He tells us that we are used and totally unappreciated.  No one listens to us.  Yes, and he always tells us that the grass is greener on the other side.  If you want green grass just start watering your side!

Your husband needs your INTELLIGENCE, SKILL  and WISDOM to make him complete.

The INTELLIGENCE of maintaining a household, finances and an array of various related duties.

The SKILL of meeting the needs of a husband and children, like child-bearing and breast-feeding.  Also, handling a full-time job or church ministry.

The WISDOM to utilize your knowledge and experience.

You, your spouse and your children are a holy institute.  God is committed to making your family a complete success.

The devil is committed to “..KILL, STEAL and DESTROY…” your marriage.

God has made you “…MORE THAN A CONQUEROR…”

Are you committed to making your spouse a success?

Tell the devil to HIT THE ROAD!!

NOTE:  You can subscribe at no cost and receive the blog daily.

Praying For Your Spouse

22 Feb

Praying For Your Spouse

“She does him good….” Proverbs 31:12a
Bless your husband by praying for him!
The Apostle Paul instructed all Christians to pray for one another (Ephesians 6:18). This
includes wives’ responsibility and privilege to pray for their husbands. Earnest prayer for your
husband is good for him, for you and the spiritual health of your home (Proverbs 31:11-12).
Satan desires to destroy your husband, especially his character and his leadership in your
relationship. Trust God through prayer as you daily surrender your husband and marriage to the
Lord’s wise, loving care.
31 Days of Prayer
Day 1
Pray that your husband will grow spiritually and consider his accountability before the Lord.
Pray that he will guard his heart by developing spiritual disciplines—Bible reading and study,
prayer, meditation, scripture memorization, etc. (2 Peter 3:18; Prov. 4:23)
Day 2
Pray that your husband’s relationship with God and His Word will bear fruit in his life. Pray that
he will be a man of wisdom and understanding, fearing the Lord. (Prov. 3:7, 9:10; Ps. 112:1)
Day 3
Pray that your husband will be humble and quick to agree with God about his sin. Pray that his
heart will be tender toward the voice of the Lord. (Ps. 51:2-4; Micah 6:8)
Day 4
Pray that your husband will grow in leadership skills in your relationship—protecting and
providing for you. Pray that he will lead you wisely and love you sacrificially, so that God will
be glorified in your marriage. (Eph. 5:25-29; Col. 3:19)
Day 5
Pray that your husband will be faithful to his wedding vows. Pray that he will have a desire to
cultivate your relationship as a sign of his loyalty and commitment to you, and as a picture of
Christ’s love for the Church. (Prov. 20:6; Gen. 2:24)
Day 6
Pray that your husband will love righteousness and hate wickedness, especially the evils of the
culture. Pray that he will recognize and avoid wickedness in his own life, and if necessary, take a
clear, strong stand against evil. (Prov. 27:12; John 17:15; 1 Cor. 10:12-13)
2
Day 7
Pray that your husband will safeguard his heart against inappropriate relationships with the
opposite sex. Pray that his heart will be pure and undivided in his commitment to you. (Prov.
6:23-24, 26; Rom. 13:14)
Day 8
Pray that your husband will work hard to provide for your family, to the best of his ability. Pray
that the character qualities necessary for a successful career and ministry will be a growing part
of his character – persistence, decisiveness, strength, an analytical mind, organizational skills,
positive relationships with people, determination, etc. (Rom. 12:11; 1 Cor. 15:58)
Day 9
Pray that your husband handle finances wisely, will have discernment concerning budgeting and
investments, and will be a good steward of his money in regard to giving to the Lord’s work.
Pray that money will not become a source of discord in your family. (Prov. 23:4-5; Rom. 12:13;
Heb. 13:5)
Day 10
Pray that your husband will cultivate strong integrity, and not compromise his convictions. Pray
that his testimony will be genuine, that he will be honest in his business dealings, and will never
do anything that he needs to hide from others. (Prov. 20:7; 1 Tim. 1:5, 3:7; Eph. 6:10-12)
Day 11
Pray that your husband will have a humble, teachable spirit and a servant’s heart before the Lord.
Pray that he will listen to God and desire to do His will. (Prov. 15:33; Eph. 6:6)
Day 12
Pray that your husband will yield his sexual drive to the Lord and practice self control. Pray that
your sexual intimacy together will be fresh, positive, and a reflection of selfless love. (Prov.
5:15, 18; 1 Cor. 7:3; Song of Solomon 7:10)
Day 13
Pray that your husband use practical skills to build your family and make wise decisions for your
welfare. Pray that he will serve unselfishly. (Gal. 5:13; Phil. 2:3-4)
Day 14
Pray that your husband will speak words that build you and your family, and reflect a heart of
love. Pray that he will not use filthy language. (Prov. 18:21; Eph. 4:29)
Day 15
Pray that your husband will choose his friends wisely. Pray that God will bring him men who
will encourage his accountability before God, and will not lead him into sin. (Prov. 13:20; Prov.
27:17)
3
Day 16
Pray that your husband will choose healthy, God-honoring activities. Pray that he will not live in
bondage to any questionable habits or hobbies, but that he will experience freedom in holiness as
he yields to the Spirit’s control. (1 Cor. 6:12, 10:31; 2 Tim. 2:4)
Day 17
Pray that your husband will enjoy his manliness as he patterns his life after Christ and strong
men in the faith. Pray for his physical, emotional, mental, social and spiritual strength. (Eph.
3:16; 1 Peter 2:21; 1 Cor. 10:11)
Day 18
Pray that your husband will have an eternal perspective—living in light of eternity. Pray that he
will reject materialism and temporal values and put God first in his life. (Matt. 6:33; Deut. 6:5;
Eph. 5:16; Ps. 90:12)
Day 19
Pray that your husband will be patient and a man of peace. Pray that he will not give in to anger,
but will allow the Holy Spirit to control his responses. (Rom. 14:19; Ps. 34:14)
Day 20
Pray that your husband will yield his mind and thoughts to the Lord. Pray that he will not
entertain immoral or impure thoughts, and that he will resist the temptation to indulge in
pornography. (Prov. 27:12; 2 Cor. 10:5)
Day 21
Pray that your husband will learn how to relax in the Lord and, in his greatest times of stress,
find joy and peace in his relationship with God. Pray that he will submit his schedule to the Lord.
(Neh. 8:10; Prov. 17:22; Ps. 16:11)
Day 22
Pray that your husband will practice forgiveness in your relationship and with others. Pray that
he will recognize any roots of bitterness, and yield any resentment and unforgiving attitudes to
the Lord. (Eph. 4:32; Heb. 12:15)
Day 23
Pray that your husband will be a good father—disciplining his children wisely and loving them
unconditionally. If he is not a father, pray that he will find a young man to mentor in the things
of the Lord. (Eph. 6:4; Col. 3:21; 2 Tim. 2:1-2)
Day 24
Pray that your husband will have a balanced life—that he will balance work and play. Pray that
he will fear God, but also gain favor with people he knows at work and church. (Luke 2:52;
Prov. 13:15)
4
Day 25
Pray that your husband will be courageous in his stand against evil and injustice, and that he will
stand for the truth. Pray that he will protect you and your family from Satan’s attacks. (Ps.
31:24; Eph. 6:13; Ps. 27:14)
Day 26
Pray that your husband will discover and live his God-given purpose. Pray that he will offer all
his dreams to the Lord, and pursue only those goals that will bring God glory and count for
eternity. (Jer. 29:11; 1 Cor. 10:31)
Day 27
Pray that your husband will understand the importance of taking care of his body—the temple of
the Holy Spirit—for the glory of God. Pray that he will practice self-control by making wise
food choices, and get sufficient exercise to stay healthy. (Rom. 12:1-2; 1 Cor. 6:19-20, 9:27)
Day 28
Pray that your husband will be a man of prayer. Pray that he will seek and pursue God in
purposeful quiet times. (1 Thess. 5:17; Luke 22:46; James 5:16)
Day 29
Pray that your husband will surrender his time and talents to the Lord. Pray that his spiritual gifts
will be manifest in his career, at church, and in your home. (Eph. 5:15-16; 1 Cor. 12:4, 7)
Day 30
Pray that your husband will serve God and others with pure motives. Pray that he will obey the
Lord from his heart, and glorify Him in everything. (1 Cor. 10:13; John 7:17-18; Col. 3:23-24)
Day 31
Pray that your husband will recognize the lies of the Enemy in his life. Pray that his attitudes and
actions will be guided by the truth as he brings his thoughts into captivity to the Word of God.
(John 8:44; 2 Cor. 10:4-5)

Thanks Grace Watson for this article you discovered.

NOTE:   Don’t miss tomorrows blog “Hit the road Jack”. Subscribe at no cost and you will receive the blog daily.

Q&A – Question and Answer Saturday

21 Feb

Q&A – Question and Answer Saturday

Welcome aboard!  Every Saturday will be reserved for answering marriage questions.  Before I start, I want to thank you so much for being a part of  MARRIAGE MATTERS.  I would like to give you a peek into my heart and thoughts.

Divorce is traumatizing to a child and they are impacted for the rest of their life.  Gods design is for a child to be raised by adoring parents.  God can fill the void in a child’s life, but they are still left with scars.

What I hope to accomplish, with God leading the way, is to give spouses insight to the devils devices. More importantly is for us to partner with the Holy Spirit and receive help from on high. Also, to keep children from suffering the struggles of a violent divorce.

Inspire others to subscribe to this blog at no charge and God will bless you hundredfold because there is no limit to how far Gods word can reach.  HELPING MARRIAGES TO LAST A LIFETIME!!

Question and answers

Question #1  How do you build a relationship when you are states away?

Answer #1:  I am assuming that you are married.  If you are not married, I would not advise it.  It’s hard to really get to know the person.  Everyone is palatable in small doses.  It’s during the long haul that issues start to appear.  If you are married, there are a lot of things you can and cannot do.  Today through social networking, you can keep communication going like never before.  Be on guard of the conversation.  Wives have a tendency to complain.  Before you talk to him, have an agenda of what you will discuss.  Make sure it is things he will enjoy.  Tell him the cute things his children are doing, not about the crummy co-worker you cannot stand.  Tell him about something interesting on the news, not about what broke in the house and how he needs to make several repairs as soon as he gets back.  Tell him a crazy joke you heard today.  Make him laugh!  Make him feel like he can’t wait till he talks to you again.  Give your list of complaints and your “honey do list” to your pet dog.

Question #2  What are the downsides in marrying someone younger than you? 

Answer #2  There aren’t any if you love God and partner with the Holy Spirit to have a Godly marriage and raise godly children.  That should keep any couple busy for a lifetime.  We have found through the years that if the husband is younger by 5 years of more, many times the wife has to deal with jealousy.  It isn’t the husbands problem, it’s the wifes.  She is the one who battles with her own thoughts.  The husband is usually completely pleased with her except for the insane jealousy.  When the husband is older by 10 years or more, the wife once again, has a tendency to struggle with it.  She expects a lot from him and seems to think his age is the reason for his actions.  Usually it is her who is not accepting him for who he is.  She becomes demanding and becomes frustrated.  This is what we have observed through the years of pastoring.  Since woman are supposed to out live men by approximately 10 years, they say it is fine for a woman to marry a man ten years younger than her.

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow!!!    You will receive a tool a spouse cannot do without!!

Why in the World Did I Marry My Spouse?

20 Feb

Why in the World Did I Marry My Spouse?

When Problems come into a marriage, the first thing that happens is that we get attacked in our mind. The evil one tells us that we are better off divorced. Then the BIG QUESTION comes. Why did I marry my spouse?

The Answer is clear in Gods word.

Mal. 2:15 “But did He not make them one, having a remnant of the Spirit? And why one? He seeks godly offspring.Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let not deal treacherously with the wife of his youth.”

The word “seek” in Hebrew is baqash.  The primitive root word is to search.  It implies begging.  This is killing me as I am typing it.  God is begging us to raise our kids Godly?

God makes man and woman one so they will marry and raise godly children.

Sad to say, with 50% of marriages ending in divorce, the children are thrown into a traumatic situation.

In the book “Helping children survive divorce” by Dr. Archibald D. Hart, it states that children of divorced Christian parents are at greater risk than others.

They feel like why didn’t God make my mom and dad love each other?  The child could easily become disillusioned with Christianity.

This is a list of a few losses that children face:

1. Loss of home.

2. Loss of my neighborhood friends.

3. Loss of convenient transportation.

4. Dramatic reduction in our standard of living.

5. Loss of family outings together.

Divorce makes enemies of those who once declared undying love for one another. It does damage to children.

Here are some of the reasons why divorce is emotionally damaging to children:

1. Fear and anxiety

2. Abandonment and rejection

3. Aloneness and sadness

4. Frustration and anger

5. Rejection and resentment, and

6. Reestablishment of trust

Before we think it is all about us and forget if we divorce, our child will be another statistic.  So turn to Gods word for counsel.

Eph. 5:33 “Nevertheless, let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

In the book called “Love and Respect”, the author calls this the crazy cycle. That is because neither partner will do their part till the other one does. Then they just go around and around on the “crazy cycle”.

It only takes one person to do their part and get off the “crazy cycle”.

You married him to show him love and respect in front of your children and the children of others.

You are to be a living epistle to your children and raise them godly.

OH!   Yes!!   ENJOY THE JOURNEY!!

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