HELP FOR YOUR MARRIAGE

20 Oct

       

HELP FOR YOUR MARRIAGE

Do you ever call on the power of the Holy Spirit to be in the center of your marriage.

Married couples forget to call on this help for their marriage.

Every day we encounter problems at our workplace, raising our children, finances and an array of problems.

Most of us have attended a marriage seminar or read an article and told ourselves that we will now work towards the perfect marriage.

The next thing we know, we find ourselves in a debate that ended without a win-win result.

Don’t condemn yourself because all is not hopeless.

Learning marriage principles is great but we need the power of the Holy Spirit if we want a long-term change.

In Malachi 2, it says that marriage is God’s “Holy Institute.”

Anything “Holy” is a target for the enemy.

CASE AND POINT:  One day I was studying on my bed.  My husband was exercising in our garage and was coming up the steps.  As he was coming up the steps, I turned my head and in a flash I saw a demon crouched down in my bedroom ready to attack my husband.  Now I don’t believe Christians can be demon possessed and my husband is a very Godly man.  Good marriages are his major target.  I shared this story in my marriage class.  I thought all the women would walk out and think I was crazy.  After my class was over, one wife came up to me with tears in her eyes.  This may sound funny but she told me that she was so glad to hear that.  She said she feels like her marriage is always being attacked and felt she was the only one.  To hear that a demon had the nerve to come into my bedroom made her feel she was not alone battling for a good marriage.

On our own we cannot consistently pursue a great marriage.

2Cor.13:14 “The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the Love of God, and the communion of the Holy Spirit be with you all.”

You need the communion of the Holy Spirit in your marriage.

Jesus was giving his disciples a new leader:

John 14:26 “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you.”

John 16:13 “When He , the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears, He will speak; and He will tell you things to come.”

The minute you accept Christ as your savior, the Holy Spirit comes into your life.

God loves the Holy Spirit so much that he chastised the children of Israel for their disobedience.

“But they rebelled and grieved His Holy Spirit; so He turned Himself against them as an enemy.” (Isa.63:10)

David knew that the secret of his greatness was not him but the power of the Holy Spirit.

“Dnot cast me away from Your presence, And do not take your Holy Spirit from me.”  (Psa.52:11)

Let your natural reactions be replaced by the leading of the Holy Spirit.

“For if you live according to the flesh you will die…”  (Rom.8:13-14)

The Holy Spirit produces fellowship with God and an affective relationship with our spouses.

This is how the Holy Spirit impacts your marriage:

  • He empowers you to fight sin (Gal.5:15-16)
  • Helps to produce fruit of the spirit in you (Gal.5:22-23)
  • Daily directs your life (Rom.8:14)
  • Assist your marriage to glorify Jesus (John 16:14)
  • Convicts you of sin (John 16:18)
  • Gives power to be Christ-like (Eph.3:16)

Ask the Holy Spirit right now to help your marriage succeed.

The Holy Spirit will teach you not to quench His Spirit.

He will teach you how to keep your marriage fresh and vibrant!

You have tried everything else, Give Him a try!!!!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

THE RIGHT KIND OF FEAR

19 Oct

THE RIGHT KIND OF FEAR

Fear Can Prompt Us To Do all sorts of foolish and hurtful things. When you let it pile up in your marriage, it can cause an avalanche of trouble.

For example, how would you respond to your wife if you feared she didn’t respect you, didn’t love you, and thought you were a sorry excuse for a husband?

How would you respond to your husband if you fear he considered you little more than an old piece of luggage and didn’t value you or your opinion?

How would you respond to your in-laws if you feared they thought of you as a poor choice of spouse?

Fears-most of them irrational-can creep into your home in a thousand ways. If that’s the case for you, Isaiah has a good word for you, “The Lord of hosts, Him you shall hallow; let Him be your fear, and let Him be your dread” (Isaiah 8:13). When we truly fear the Lord, all other fears pale into nothingness. A healthy fear of God calms our nerves and helps us to see the universe as it truly is-safe and secure in His very competent hands. The fear of God can deliver you from the fear of man. And since the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom (Ps. 111:10), no home can be built successfully without it.

NOTE:  This article is from the book “Family Life and Marriage Bible” by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

SATURDAY – QUESTION & ANSWER

18 Oct

SATURDAY – QUESTION & ANSWER

  Question #1: How can I best respect my husband?

Answer #1.  When you respect your husband-something that God commands wives to do in Ephesians 5:33-you notice him, regard him, honor him, prefer him, and esteem him. Respecting him means valuing his opinion, admiring his wisdom and character, appreciating his commitment to you, and considering his values and needs-and our husbands have many needs!

I believe that meeting these needs is what respecting your husband is all about. To bolster Dennis’s confidence, for example, I try to be his number one fan. Every husband wants his wife to be on his team, to coach him when necessary-but most of all, to be his cheerleader. The macho man who is self-contained, independent, and invulnerable is a myth. Your husband needs a wife who is behind him, believing in him, appreciating him, and cheering him on as he goes out into the world every day.

 

NOTE:  This article is from the book Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

MARRIAGE IS FOR GROWN UPS!

17 Oct

          

MARRIAGE IS FOR GROWN UPS!

 Marriage is for grown ups.

Every time you get mad, you are in a NARCISSISTIC moment.

What we want becomes sacred; what the other person wants becomes silent.

When it comes to YOUR achievements and talents, do you exaggerate them or downplay them?

Narcissism is an exceptional interest in and admiration for yourself.

Narcissism says, “I don’t care what is going on with you, it is all about me.”

Do you think that kind of an attitude will work in marriage?

How is it WORKING in your marriage??

Don’t turn the volume down when it comes to listening as your husband expresses his concerns.

When voices go up, the ABILITY to intake goes down.

Do you feel indignant (wronged) when your spouse’s behavior doesn’t comply with your expectations?  (frequently or rarely)

The single best measure of being emotionally healthy and being a grownup is the capacity for bilateral (2-sided) listening.

There are two speakers and they both count.

A person is narcissistic when all they HEAR is their own thoughts and interpretations of the concerns.

When it comes to your spouse, do you catch yourself fishing for compliments?  How about from other people?

CASE AND POINT:  When a tennis player is on the tennis court playing, they make mistakes all the time.  When they have missed a shot, they only have 25 seconds to get their emotions back into control before the next serve comes their way.  Many of them have therapists who teach them how to get their emotions focused for the next ball and off the anger of messing up that last ball.  They ask themselves what they can do to be more affective on their next play.

If an unsaved tennis player can be taught restraint by their therapist, why can’t a Christian do that in their own marriage.

You have God’s word to give you the knowledge, and the Holy Spirit to give you the guidance.

Deut.30:19 “I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life that both you and your descendants may life…”

What you do and how you act, affects your children and their children and your children’s children……etc.

Marriage isn’t a game, but why can’t you stop and ask the Holy Spirit to make you more affective on your next play?

Do you always have to have it YOUR way?

Can you pass the test of being a child of God or will you pass the test of being narcissistic?

The CHOICE is yours.

You can change today!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

REBUILD THE MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP

16 Oct

 

 REBUILD THE MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP

God is into restoring our marriages if we give him the reins.

It is the responsibility of both spouses to REBUILD the marriage relationship.

There are many examples of biblical restoration of relationships.

One is the restoration of God back to his adulterous children of Israel.  (Joel 2:25)

Jer.30:17 “For I will restore health to you and heal you of your wounds,” says the Lord…”

 Other relationships restored were:  Paul and John Mark (Acts 15:36), Jacob and Esau (Gen.27:4), Prodigal Son and father (Luke 5:11-32).

*  Don’t react to feelings.

Don’t be preoccupied with YOUR feelings.

You will have the fear of being hurt that will try to overpower you.

Try to  avoid the following:

  • Trying to control your spouse.
  • Giving them the silent treatment.
  • Withdrawing from intimacy.
  • Seeking revenge.
  • Acting like a martyr.
*  Allow time for healing.

It will take time to LEARN each others needs, feelings and expectations.

This process takes patience.

WAITING on God to do the work shows your trust in him.

*  Home Environment.

Maintain a STABLE home environment.

Practice humility even when your emotions are telling you that you deserve to express revenge.

Maintain an atmosphere of “love” in the home.

Strive everyday to build a SAFE emotional environment.

Make your sexual relationship a priority.

*  Don’t be on the defensive.

Beware of self-righteousness.

There NEEDS to be openness and listening.

Keep in mind that you are his companion, so find occasions to have fun.

Are your expectations REASONABLE?

Are you doing anything that is causing your spouse to escape his commitments?

This is a good time for self-examination on how you can become the person your spouse and family need you to be.

Ask the Holy Spirit for GUIDANCE.

Partner with the Holy Spirit to make your marriage a success.

You will reap the REWARDS of a grateful spouse.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

STEPPARENTING IS A DIFFICULT TASK

15 Oct

                                   STEPPARENTING IS A DIFFICULT TASK

If you or your spouse have children from a first marriage, you are taking on a very difficult task.

I have taken a portion from the book,”Helping Children Survive Divorce” by Dr. Archibald D. Hart.

Your family will need to make a series of important adjustments.

These adjustments fall into three clearly identifiable phrases.

First, there is the “honeymoon” phase.

Everyone is polite to each other.

The atmosphere may be a little strained, but no outward friction is evident yet.

Second, there is the “conflict” phase.

The  honeymoon is over and reality emerges.

Everyone is short-tempered, impatient, and intolerant even of small mistakes.

Little things irritate, and at times it seems as if the family will blow apart.

Third, There is the “contented” phase.

If the marriage survives the second stage, a final contented stage emerges.

All the necessary adjustments have been made, the corners have been knocked off tempers, and the irritating habits of the new spouse have become acceptable to all.

At last, familiarity brings comfort.

Making it to the third stage requires careful attention to the following points:

*  Do not force a new spouse to become a substitute parent to your children, even if your ex-spouse has totally abandoned this role.

*  Don’t rush the second phase of the remarriage process.

*  Keep communication with your children open at all times.

*  Don’t take sides, either with your children or with your new spouse.

*  Remind your new spouse that it is very normal for children, especially in the early stages of remarriage to feel a sense of betrayal and to be angry.

*  Keep all discipline free of anger.

Please note that we make every effort to encourage people not to divorce.  Children suffer even through adulthood.  This is to help those who have already remarried or are thinking of remarriage.  It is a long hard road and there is a 74% divorce rate.  This is to help those who have already remarried.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

GOD’S MASTER DESIGN FOR MARRIAGE

14 Oct

                                         

GOD’S MASTER DESIGN FOR MARRIAGE

If you’ve ever sewn a dress, you know how a pattern works.

When you begin, you don’t have a garment, but only some scraps of cloth.

When it’s properly fitted together and made usable with buttons, a zipper, or snaps, however, these incomplete pieces make a whole dress.

Every pattern has pairs of parts: two sleeves, two bodice pieces, a front and back skirt; even the collar and facing pieces usually come in twos.

That’s how it is in marriage.

God has designed a master pattern for husbands and wives that, when followed, will create a whole, usable, beautiful marriage.

I have experienced many frustrations in trying to fit in my part of the marriage pattern with my husband’s.

At times it felt too hard.

Yet I know by faith, and am convinced by experience, that God’s pattern for me as a wife is not meant to restrict my creativity in expressing who I am.

If I trust the pattern, the finished products reflects the full beauty that its Creator intended.

When this becomes a reality in my life, I experience oneness with God, oneness with my husband, and a real freedom to be all that God made me to be.

NOTE:  This article is from the book “Family life Marriage Bible” by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

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