LOVE YOUR SPOUSE

POWER OF A WOMAN IN LOVE

The wife often holds the key to the QUALITY of romance that is in the marriage.

On yesterdays post, we covered surveys where men scored high on wanting more romance in their marriage.

The confusion came when husbands FEARED failure in being successful to plan a romantic event.

We will be using the information from the book ,”For Women Only” by Shaunti Feldhahn.

So what are some of the things that a wife can do to support a romantic event?

First, encourage him.

For some reason, wives don’t think that their husbands need encouragement in an area like developing a romantic event.

Everyone needs encouragement, even the GREATEST of men.  Lets look at this next verse.

Deut.1:38 “But Joshua the son of Nun, which standeth before thee, he shall go in tither: encourage him: for he shall cause Israel to inherit it.”

Listen up girls!!  Here are Moses, Joshua and others, who are great men, with great power.  You would think that they would not need encouragement, but they did.  Regardless of the amount of authority or responsibility, the possibility of failure is always present.

How much more do our husbands need it.

Your appreciation as his wife, is always necessary when your husband is outside his COMFORT zone, like planning a romantic event.

One man said, “Encourage me and affirm my effort, and I will run through a brick wall to please you.

Another husband said, “I am willing to be a fool for you, but just tell me that I did good.  And give me sex.  That helps too.”

Remember, many men view taking romantic initiative as a huge risk—a risk of “being humiliated” or “feeling inadequate”.

When he makes an effort, you have to prove to your man it’s not a risk!

The next time he asks you to “go outside and play”, don’t tell him that you have to do the dishes.  Remember, this is his version of a candlelight dinner.

Second, Entice him.

Many men have said that in work or in romance, they are always looking for something to conquer.

Keep it fresh—give him something to pursue.  Go with him for a walk, run, tennis, etc.

Make yourself the kind of friend and lover he constantly wants to PURSUE.

It is learning to give what the other person needs and enjoying the resulting God-ordained fruits of YOUR self-lessness.

The Christian walk is one of self-denial, which we are COMMANDED to live by.  Luke 9:23.

Third, keep him number one.

Are you putting a DAMPER on your husband’s enthusiasm by letting too many other priorities interfere with romance?

Are you unconsciously making your kids a priority over your husband?

On the survey, several men expressed that their wives spent too much time DOTING on the children and not enough doting on their relationship.

Many husbands have said that there is a sense of  “I’ve lost my wife”.

Some men said, “It’s not just the kids that steal my wife, it’s the whole “to do list”.

Is that you??  Do you have a “to do list” that is bigger than your quality time with hubby?

Has your husband lost his wife?

Right now you have a tremendous OPPORTUNITY to start over with your man!!

ON YOUR MARK, GET SET, GOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow’s post.  Daily there is a new post.

DO MEN WANT ROMANCE, TOO?

Of course men want romance, you silly rabbit!!!

But you don’t have to take my word for it.

In the book, “For Women Only”, by Shaunti Feldhahn, she did surveys on this subject so we will find out from the men themselves.

Let’s find out what men are really like when it comes to romance or do they just think about it differently than we do?

You might be thinking that it is just something they’re happy to put up with as long as they get sex afterward?

This next comment by Shaunti might surprise you or make you very happy.

According to her findings, most men feel that they are secret romantics who—like most of us—don’t experience nearly as much intimacy in their primary love relationship as they’d like.

The great news is that our husbands long for connection, togetherness, and a fun, intimate time…with us.

Most women think that men don’t really care about romance but men want romance, too.

On a survey, men were asked if they desired romantic events, regardless if they planned it or if their spouse planned it.

84% of the men said, YES, very much or YES, somewhat.

14% of the men said, they could take it or leave it.

2% said that they don’t care for it.

One husband responded, “I wish my wife knew that I needed romance, that I also needed touching and hugs as much as she does.”

Women think, well if men want to do romantic things, why don’t they?

According to the surveys taken, the male responses fall into two catchall categories:  internal hesitation and the “gender gap” in definitions of romance.

First, Internal Hesitation

Men were asked if they could put together a romantic event that you know your spouse would enjoy?

88% felt they could put together a romantic event.

The problem is that almost half, (46%) aren’t confident you’ll like their romantic efforts.

Three distinct concerns that caused hesitation.

1. Self-doubt.  I won’t do a very good job.  This self-doubt turns into doing nothing at all.  He risks humiliation if he does it wrong.
2. Haunted by romantic failures.  They may have failed in the past and are sensitive to criticism or teasing.
3. It’s difficult to change gears.  Some men need to decompress somehow before he can think about being a romantic, loving husband.  After, a hard days work, a man needs his wife to understand and give him that time.  He will then be a happier and more available husband the rest of the evening.

Two gender gap definitions romance.

1. Playing together is very romantic.  Men love to go out and do things together which is incredibly romantic.  The woman who is having fun with her husband is incredibly attractive.  They want to do “guy things” with their wives.  This is his version of a “candle-light dinner”.
2. Romance without sex may not seem complete.  If men are romantic, they want sex.  After setting up a romantic event, it can be intensely disappointing to not have sex for him.  Romance is all about escaping—escaping with the one you love.

1Cor.4:7 “For who maketh thee to differ from another?”  We know that answer.   God made each one of us different.

Another survey was taken from men who were asked, “If you take sex out of the equation, which of the following do you find more romantic for yourself.”

Almost 60% of men desired the “traditional” (candle-light dinners, etc.) definition of romance.  Almost 40% desired an “active”  (hiking, etc.) model.

Have you been missing out on opportunities to have some romantic time with your “hubby” just because you didn’t know it was romantic.

Come on girls.  Let’s get with it.

A few weeks ago, I had a friend go to the shooting range with her husband for the first time.

She loved it!!  I won’t tell you who got the better score.  Wink!Wink!

John 10:10  “The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have itmore abundantly.”

God desires that we have an abundant life with our spouse.

Whatever it takes girls!!  Every widow would agree with me!!

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow’s post.  Daily there is a new post.

THE ESSENCE OF GOODNESS

Henry David Thoreau once said, “Goodness is the only investment that never fails.”  “An investment?”  you ask.  That’s right, an investment…especially in your mate, your children, and your extended family.

Our grayish culture, void of absolutes, has bleached out the once colorful connotations to the word good.  Today, if something is good, that usually means it’s just okay.  Good is third in line at Sears, just behind better and best.  And we all know to steer clear of a good used car– it’s probably been a rental, driven for 225,000 miles, and then used in a demolition derby!

To recover the once lofty meaning of good, recall God’s consistent assessment of the world He made.  I also think of the question Jesus put to the rich young ruler, “Why do you call Me good? No one is good but One, that is, God” (Matt.19:17).

There’s our clue!  Only God is good.  Merrill Unger writes of God’s goodness, “It expresses the supreme benevolence, holiness, and excellence of the divine character, the sum of all God’s attributes”

And God calls your marriage to be good!  You have the opportunity to display “the excellence of the divine character”!

NOTE:  This came from an article in the book, “Family Life Marriage Bible” by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow’s post.  Daily there is a new post.

SATURDAY Q & A

Question #1  My husband goes against everything I try to teach my family.  What can I do as I am trying  to teach them the right way to go in life.

Answer # 1   Remember that God knows how difficult and disappointing that it is for you in your marriage at times.  God wants to give you His wisdom for every situation that rises up.  God can give you the grace to trust Him for the outcome.  There is a woman of wisdom that is in the bible, Abigail.

1Sam.25:32-33 NIV “David said to Abigail, “Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel, who has sent you today to meet me.  May you be blessed for your good judgment.”

This is a very interesting story in the bible.  David and his men were hiding from Saul in the desert.  They took on odd jobs to survive and one of them was to take care of sheep.  Nabel was a wealthy property owner with sheep, who David protected. One day David asked Nabel for compensation for all the hard work his men and him had done by protecting the sheep.  Nabel flatly refused.  David was furious and he immediately decided that he would kill Nabel. Nabel had a wife named Abigail, who was very wise and was well-respected by all including David.  Look what the bible says in Proverbs.  Prov.11:16 “A kindhearted woman gains respect, but ruthless men gain only wealth.”   Nabel did not get away with his arrogant and greedy actions.  Nabel enjoyed his wealth, but only for a short time.

I am sure that through her marriage to Nabel, she was able to develop a lot of wisdom.  A difficult marriage is able to  bring any spouse to their knees.  A spouse who is not willing to cooperate will cause you to seek Godly wisdom and cause you to embrace prayer.  Abigail did not let Nabels’ opinion to influence her or to affect her life.  This woman obviously had a close relationship with God.

There is a reason that this story is in the Bible.  I believe it is there as an example and pattern of how to handle a difficult husbands decisions.  Abigail had a source to turn to and so do we.  That source is GOD!  ALWAYS keep in mind that we have the Holy Spirit as our guide. The Holy Spirit is a gentleman.  Gently waiting for you to ask.   THANK YOU JESUS!  You are not alone!!

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post.  Daily there is a new post.

ARE YOUR ROOTS SHOWING?

Women try to get away with not dying their hair as long as they can, to SAVE money.

As soon as those roots on your head start showing, you immediately get them dyed.

Women dye their hair because they don’t want anyone to see their real hair color or their GRAY roots.

We know it is a bit vain, but it is a fact that women do dress to impress other women.

There are other roots that many wives have and they look very ugly when they “rear their ugly heads.”

These roots that I am talking about are what the bible calls “…roots of bitterness…”

Heb.12:15 “Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;”

As I have taught around the world to wives’, the one stronghold that seems the most that women embrace is the BITTERNESS.

Wives many times feel that they have a right to be bitter.

Our Father in heaven doesn’t want us to suffer with these roots that are showing through our life and will eventually grow so deep, they will SUCK the life out of us.

I will be using a book that explains how Jesus used the sycamine tree to  remove evil forces, like bitterness, from ones life.  “Sparkling Gems From the Greek” by Rick Renner.

Luke 17:6 “And the Lord said, If ye had faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye might say unto this sycamine tree, Be thou plucked up by the root, and be thou planted in the sea; and it should obey you.”

The sycamine tree grew throughout the Middle East

Jesus was telling them to forgive 7×70 and it seemed so impossible that in verse 17:5 they said, “…Lord increase our faith…”

Jesus was telling them, if you really want to be free of these attitudes, you can speak to this menacing growth in your life and command it to be planted in the sea!

Why did Jesus use the sycamine tree to illustrate the destructive forces of bitterness and unforgiveness.

1. The sycamine tree had a very large and deep root structure.  Because its roots went down so deep, it was hard to kill.  Its roots were so deep that it had tapped into underground water sources.  Even if you cut it’s base, the tree was unaffected and still alive by its deep roots.  Roots of bitterness go down deep in the human life and lie hidden in the soil of the heart.
2. The sycamine tree’s wood was the preferred wood for building caskets and coffins.  It grew quickly and for that reason was famous in the Middle East.  Bitterness grows quickly and out of control.  Also, it grew best in dry conditions, which describes the Middle East.  When we are spiritually dry, bitterness runs rapid.  This wood was used for coffins shows how deadly bitterness is.  It will kill your joy, peace and spiritual life.
3. The sycamine tree produced a fig that was very bitter to eat.  This fruit was so bitter, it took a long time to eat little by little.  That is what bitterness does.  We keep chewing on it over and over again.
4. The sycamine tree was pollinated only by wasps.  It could be reproduced only by a wasps stinging it right in its heart.  The devil desires to pollinate our hearts by stinging us with bitterness.

Jesus is telling his married couples that it just takes a LITTLE bit of faith to get rid of this bitterness.

We have a precious woman in our church which almost died a few years ago.  She had continual stomach problems.  Finally, one day she couldn’t take the pain anymore and was hospitalized.  They found a huge growth in her colon.  It was, I believe three feet wide and very long,  The doctors were able to salvage enough of her colon so she may lead a normal life.  When I saw the picture, I was amazed that something that enormous could live in her body.

Had it not been removed, she would have died!

What is your DESIRE today?

Do you wish to be free from the bitterness in your life or against your spouse??

Do you want to rip those destructive ROOTS out of your heart?

Do you want those roots of bitterness to resurface and destroy your marriage?

Are you tired of those detrimental attitudes toward your spouse that are killing your JOY and stealing your PEACE?

You would be embarrassed of your roots showing but you flaunt your roots of bitterness that distorts your life towards your spouse.

Stop blaming your spouse and speak to those roots of bitterness to leave.

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow’s post.  Daily there is a new post.

#6 – HOW TO GET YOUR SPOUSE TO THINK YOUR WAY

Give your spouse credit for their resolution ideas

 In order to get your spouse to think your way, you need their COOPERATION.

You might never see a good idea from your spouse that isn’t yours.

To be effective, you need to understand that you never LOSE credit when you share the glory with your spouse.

When you highlight the contribution of your spouse, they will increase their self-confidence and it will raise their spirit—which will improve future performance.

In Matt.10:10 Jesus said, “…the worker is worthy of his support.”

A spouse NEVER loses out by giving credit and recognition where it is due.

By giving your spouse credit for their ideas, you are demonstrating that together, you have both effectively built a strong team.

Psa.133:1 “…how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!”

Eccles.4:9 “Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor.”  There are four reasons why two are better than one:

1. Because they have more reward for their labor. (v.9)
2. One can lift the other one up if he falls. (4:10)
3. Both can keep warm. (4:11)
4. They can prevail against another. (4:12)

This is an excellent and worthy ACCOMPLISHMENT.

By arguing and yelling out names, you quench the Holy Spirit, along with all that the two of you are trying to build for Gods kingdom.

Always explain to your spouse CALMLY that you both are on the same team and that you want to do your part to make the both of you look good.

You would make your spouse feel really important if you tell them that you also want them involved in any future issues that may come up.

Complaining will yield NO FRUIT, and will probably only antagonize your spouse.

Try to resolve issues; then learn to live with the situation.

If you fail to reach an understanding or an agreement with your spouse after attempting to work out the situation, seek the Lord’s GUIDANCE and extend grace to your spouse.

Live with the situation!

Don’t develop a negative attitude because it will DAMAGE your credibility and eat you alive.

Let go of resentment!

Remember the saying: Differences create the challenges in life that open the door to discovery.

In the book, “The seven habits of highly effective teens” by Sean Covey, he defines a word called SYNERGIZE.  Synergy is achieved when two or more people work together to create a better solution than either could alone.

It’s not your way but a better way, a higher way.

GETTING  TO  SYNERGY  ACTION  PLAN

1.  Define the problem or opportunity

2.  Their way  (Seek  first to understand the ideas of others.)

3.  My way (Seek to be understood by sharing your ideas)

4.  Brainstorm (Create new options and ideas.)

5.  High way  (Find the best solution)

Do you try and ram your OPINIONS down your spouses’ throat?

How does that make you feel after?

Isn’t it wiser to get IDEAS from your spouse since not everyone thinks like you?

In fact, no one else thinks like you!!!

Our brain is so intricate that there are trillions of ways to process information.

If you only respect your idea, you are living in denial.

It has been recorded, that Walt Disney never gave anyone on staff credit for their work.  He would tell them that it was better for people to recognize the Disney name then to give everyone credit.  It brought a lot of division in his employees.  He got credit for everything they did.  At different intervals, he would loose his best cartoonist and other very valuable employees.  Walt Disney did not care.  He only cared about the Disney name getting the credit.

Let’s avoid making our spouse feel like less of a person just like these Disney employees.

TWO ARE BETTER THAN ONE!!!

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow’s post. Daily there is a new post.

#5 – HOW TO GET YOUR SPOUSE TO THINK YOUR WAY

Let your spouse do most of the talking

We often find ourselves doing all the talking when we want our spouse to do something OUR WAY.

We forget that our spouse has needs, wants, interests and preferences.

It is not all about you!!!!

The only way that you can find out what your spouses CONCERNS are, is to let them talk.

My husband likes to use the saying, “Give a man enough rope and he will hang himself.”

Through life, I have seen this happen over and over, again.

Psa.12:4 “Who have said, With our tongue will we prevail; our lips are our own: who is lord over us?”

In Hebrew, the word “prevail” ispronounced, gabar.  This word means to exceed or to be stronger.

This verse shows a person who is a smooth talker and relies on his own ability and flattering talk to deceive and overcome his listener.

This verse goes on to say, because you have a GIFT of communication, you think you can say what you want.

In the end, those are the ones who will receive greater damnation.  Matt.12:37  “For  by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.”

What are your spouses’ needs?

What are your spouses’ wants?

What are your spouses’ interests?

What are your spouses’ preferences?

Are your spouses’ concerns NOT important to you?

Is it just all about you?    It’s not about you!!!!!!

LISTEN for hints about your spouses concerns?

Sometimes that is all your spouse wants is to be heard.

Your spouse may just want to FEEL important.

Your spouse wants to feel important and be a part.

Ask your spouse questions about your decision, because you may need ADVISE to make it work.

Ask your spouse questions from comments and hints that they have given you.

DON’T DO ALL THE TALKING!  DO MORE LISTENING!

Eccles.5:3 “…a fool’s voice is known by multitude of words.”

In Hebrew, the word “fool” is someone who is stupid or silly.

This verse says, if you want to identify someone who is acting ignorant, just look around and see who won’t stop talking.

CASE AND POINT:  Over 20 years ago my husband was invited to speak at a church.  After the service, we went for coffee with the pastor whose name I don’t remember.  He sat there for over an hour talking about his voice and how his song leading has improved.  When we left, so many things went through my mind.  I felt he had a great opportunity to pick my husbands brain and learn skills and ideas on how to build a congregation.  This pastor was new at pastoring and there was much for him to learn.  My husband had been a missionary for five years in England, pioneered three churches, and at that time had been in ministry approximately 20 years.  Since my husband never makes suggestions on improvements unless a pastor asks, we learned how to improve your vocal cords from a pastor that didn’t know how to sing.  Lol!!

I usually learn from my mistakes, but this was a time that I learned from someone else’s.

Let your spouse do most of the talking.

Is your spouse screaming to be heard?

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow’s post in this series, “How to get your spouse to think your way.”

#4 – HOW TO GET YOUR SPOUSE TO THINK YOUR WAY

Begin in a friendly way

FRIENDLY means acting in a non-threatening manner toward and/or showing kindness to someone.

There are some pretty important words in the definition of friendly, like non-threatening and showing kindness.

How many times have you wanted your spouse to think your way and you end it with THREATS? Huh?? How many times??

Being friendly is also showing kindness.

How do we be NICE when we are loosing the battle of convincing our spouse that we are right?

It takes a lot of patience and self-control.

Let’s look at some scriptures that use the word “friend”:
Judges 19:3 “And her husband arose, and went after her, to speak friendly unto her, and to bring her again…”

The word “friendly” used in this verse, in Hebrew is leb. It means with care, comfort, kindness, understanding and wisdom.

Does that sound like how you RESPOND when you are not getting the response that you want from your spouse?

Prov.18:24 “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.”
This verse is saying, that in order to have friends, you have to dine and entertain them. But there is a friend, that will stick by you during adversity.
The One who sticks closer than a brother is YOU!  The spouse!

In Mal.4:14 , it says that the wife is a COMPANION.

You are his friendly friend!
It is okay to be PASSIONATE about wanting your spouse to think your way.

It is okay to bring him a dozen red roses, with chocolate candies and a marching band. Why Not?!? It might work! (If it does, tell me. I might try it. heehee!

CASE AND POINT: I hope I remember all the details to this story, because I thought it was cool. When Mel Gibson wanted Julia Roberts to do a movie with him (Conspiracy Theory), he sent a marching band with him. She was laughing hysterically while she was telling the story. I can’t image what she was like when the band arrived. Needless to say, her response to Mel was, YES!

The point is, that in the process, don’t forget to be friendly.

HERE ARE SOME TIPS ON HOW TO BE FRIENDLY.

1. Smile. I know that I mention that a lot but that is because you guys keep forgetting to smile. We smile at everyone all day. Then we come home and smile at the dog. What happened to the spouse?

2. Learn to speak, small talk. Have a nice little chit chat about something interesting. Not your girlfriends business but something of his interest.

3. Try talking about positive topics. If we listen to ourselves, most of the stuff we talk about is to negative. Especially women. Stay positive. Again, talk about the topics he likes. IT WORKS!!
One time a pastor asked me what puts my husband in a good mood. I told him, his baby. He told me that he was going to have a T-shirt made with my babies picture on it before he entered my husbands’ office. Lol!! I told him that would definitely work. My husband would be like putty in his hands. Lol!! Be creative! You are friendly with everyone else, why not with your spouse?

4. Have a sense of humor. Your spouse loves to have a good laugh. So laugh even if you have to think of a joke or a funny story. You need to have fun with each other. Look for opportunities to laugh. Even if it isn’t the funniest thing you have ever heard.

I heard on the history channel that King Henry the VIII, wore his WEALTH. He had his jewels sown into all of his garments. His vests were extravagant. Everything he wore was exquisite.

God has given us garments of jewels to wear. That is our countenance; a SMILE.

Wear your wealth!

Do you want your spouse to think your way?

Be his friendly friend!!!

NOTE: Don’t miss tomorrow’s post which is a continuation of this series, “How to get your spouse to think your way.” Daily there is a new post.

#3 – HOW TO GET YOUR SPOUSE TO THINK YOUR WAY

If You Are Wrong, Admit it Quickly

Why do people try to wiggle out of their mistakes?

Some people have a character flaw of being addicted to “being right.”

Flaws exist because they are a RESPONSE to a challenge or a trauma that threatens us .

Character flaws definitely make life much more difficult because you have to carry around a lot of baggage.

The problem with “dodging a bullet”, is that the bullet is still flying around.

The “dodging bullet” still needs to be dealt with and it will probably hit somebody else.

As the “dodging bullet” flies around, you end up losing the respect from those close to you.

You can turn this common flaw into the virtue, HUMILITY.

Phil.2:8  “And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross”

In Phil.2:8, the word “fashion”  is the Greek word schema.  This was the same word that was used in ancient times to depict a king who exchanged his kingly garments for a brief period of time for the clothing of a beggar.

God almighty shed His glorious appearance and PUT ON the garment of flesh made from dust just for us.

The word “humbled” is the Greek word tapeinao which means to be willing  to stoop to any measure that is needed.

Ask yourself what the reward is for being addicted to “being right.”

Addicted to “being right” shows that the person has issues:

Maybe, trying to save face or, holding on to self esteem or, an array of other reasons.

Next time you catch yourself trying to “be right”, take it as an OPPORTUNITY to admit you’re wrong.

How can admitting you are wrong help you?

People being addicted to “being right” often are criticized for not being compassionate and caring about others.

A person who admits they are wrong, are more resourceful because he believes this gives him the insight to develop new capabilities.

CASE AND POINT:  I remember we had a guest speaker at church years ago.  He told the church that they should always be working on something in their life to be more like Jesus.  Just the week before God had showed me an area that I needed to improve.  I asked God to reveal to me every time I did that thing he wasn’t pleased with.  I allowed the Holy Spirit to convict me and guide my attitude about that area.  I was very excited about partnering with the Holy Spirit to work on areas of my life.

Admitting you are wrong creates:

An environment of TOLERANCE towards others,

Open-mindedness to discovering the truth, and

It will point out where you sound STUPID.

Admitting your fault puts you closer to dealing with it.

This could be the first step towards a successful turn-around.

Admitting your fault SHOWS your integrity and courage even if there are consequences.

It is everyone’s responsibility to seek what is right and just.  Phil.4:8 “Finally, brethren…whatsoever things are just…think on these things.

From lifehack.org, here are pointers on confessing up and dealing with your mistakes:

• See things from someone else’s perspective:  If you’ve made a promise and failed to keep it, put yourself n the other party’s shoes and see how things look from there.
• Be sympathetic:  Realize that your mistakes might affect many more people than just you, and recognize the pain you’ve caused.  A little bit of sympathy can well be the opening you need to set things right.
• Take responsibility:  Don’t try to weasel out of it, and don’t look around wildly for someone else to blame.  Even if your failure came about because someone let you down, you’re ultimately responsible for the projects under your authority.
• Accept the consequences:  It’s hard, I know, but sometimes you have to bite the bullet and take your lumps.  Few actions come without any consequences at all; be prepared to embrace whatever befalls you as a result of the mistakes you’ve made.
• Have a plan:  Taking responsibility means being prepared to clean up the mess, which means you need a plan.  You should have a clear idea of what went wrong and how you can fix it – and how you can avoid it in the future.
• Be sincere:  Don’t pretend to feel sympathy or act phony so that the other person can see how deeply you care.  Don’t play the martyr.  Show honest emotion—the first step to rebuilding the trust lost.
• Apologize.  No, really.  A lot of people go to great lengths to make up for their mistakes – or to hide them – when a simple “I’m sorry” would do the job, and cause a lot fewer hard feelings.

Prov.8:12 “Before destruction the heart of a man is haughty (proud), and before honour is humility.”

If you are wrong, admit it quickly!

Yes, admit it!

NOTE: Don’t miss tomorrows post.  We will continue this series with “How to get your spouse to think your way.

A MAN EXPECTS A WIFE WHO…

NOTE;  This was taken from a book named “Happily Ever After” by Ken Davis.

A MAN EXPECTS A WIFE WHO…

*  is always beautiful and cheerful.

*  could have married a movie star but wants only you.

*  has hair that never needs curlers or a beauty shop.

*  has beauty that won’t run in a rainstorm, because she doesn’t wear makeup.  Her glow is natural.

*  is never sick; she’s just allergic to jewelry and Italian leather shoes.

*  insists that moving the furniture by herself is good for her figure.

*  is an expert at cooking, cleaning house, and fixing the car or computer.

*  is an expert at painting the house.  She even hangs wallpaper by herself.

*  has favorite hobbies are mowing the lawn and shoveling snow.

*  hates credit cards and her favorite expression is “What can I do for you, dear?”

*  thinks you have Einstein’s brain and look like Mr. America.

*  says she loves you because you’re so sexy.

BUT INSTEAD HE GETS A WOMAN WHO:

*  speaks 140 words a minute with wind gusts up to 180.

*  was once a model…for a totem pole.

*  is known as a light eater: as soon as it gets light, she starts eating.

*  treats you like a god…offering three burnt offerings a day.  Where there is smoke, there she is, cooking.

*  has hair that, despite what she does, looks like an explosion in a steel wool factory.

*  uses a broom only to fly somewhere.

*  can find you if you get lost–just open your wallet.

*  fights with the neighbors just to keep in practice until you get home.

*  lets you know you have only two faults:  everything you say and everything you do.

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow’s post.  Daily a new post is on.