LOVE YOUR SPOUSE

LIFE FOR YOUR MARRIAGE 

  So many times right after couples get married, they call the church office to get marital advice.

The worse case scenario was one bride who called the church after being married just 2 days.

We were shocked to hear her say she was done with her marriage because he was not doing what she wanted.

I am sure that the husband wanted to call also for some divine marital handbook.

Although it is a rarity, we do get couples that call during their “honeymoon stage” and ask for advice to avoid their daily arguments.

What we have found is the devil comes in like a flood and overwhelms them with lies.

This can bring death to a marriage but we have a God who is alive!

2King, 19:16 “… listen to the words Sennacherib has sent to insult the living GOD”

 The word “Living God” in Hebrew is EL CHAY.

Thank God for breathing life into you and into your marriage.

He is a God who hears, who speaks and who acts.

CASE AND POINT:  When my daughter was about 2 years old, she had a Minnie mouse doll.  We took her to Disneyland and she went crazy when she saw Minnie mouse walking around.  She hugged her and we spent about an hour just hugging Minnie cause our daughter didn’t want to leave her.  When we got home, she grabbed her Minnie doll and started pulling her legs and arms.  She was very disappointed because her Minnie would not walk around or hug her.  We could not stop laughing cause we had never seen her so frustrated.

Many of us are like that.  We own a Minnie doll.

Is your god a dead god with no life just like Minnie.

Unlike idols made by human hands, the “living God” is our source to a better marriage.

Why do we need a “Living God” to help us?

We need a “Living God” because we need help with the attacks on the outside but also on the inside of us.

The devil lies to us and tells us that we cannot control our emotions, our bad habits, addictions, etc.

As things begin to look hopeless, we fall into depression.

What poison is being fed to you right now which you think is too big for God’s power to deliver you.

Reject all lies and lay out your requests to the “Living God.”

God’s specialty is to drive out the enemies that continue to harass you.

God loves a “good fight” because He always comes out winning!!

The angel of the LORD killed 185,000 men in the Assyrian camp in one night.

Tell God that you do not want to control your life anymore but you want to be controlled by His living Holy Spirit who is powerful.

There is a well of “living water” that is never in short supply which Jesus talked about.

In John 4:14, Jesus tells us about the all powerful “Living God” who makes His home in us.

Don’t fight your own fights; let God do the fighting.

NOTE:  Daily there is a post to help your marriage succeed.

REFUSE TO DIVORCE

Most spouses trust that on their wedding day the vows that are taken will be fulfilled until “death”.

If you have experienced infidelity in marriage, you know exactly the pain others have had to fight through.

God knows and experiences this pain on a DAILY bases.

He had a passionate love for Israel who ended up turning to idols of stone and wood.

God is the IDEAL perfect husband who provides and protects us, his people.

He refuses to divorce us no matter how unfaithful we may be.

“In that day,” declares the LORD,

“you will call me ‘my HUSBAND’;

you will no longer call me ‘my master’…

I will betroth you to me forever;

I will betroth you in righteousness and justice,

in love and compassion.

I will betroth you in faithfulness,

And you will acknowledge the LORD.”   (Hosea 2:16, 19-20)

In Hebrew the word for husband is ish.

When God told Israel that he was ish, their husband, he was telling them that this was the ideal relationship from a perfect husband.

The big problem that wives make is that they want their husband to be perfect with them.

This is an impossible TASK because that is Gods job to be the perfect husband.

The New Testament states that Jesus is our bridegroom and the church is his bride.

Our purpose is not to try and CHANGE our spouse, our greatest purpose as Jesus’ people, is to become His bride.

You might look at your relationship with your husband to be the strangest match because of differences.

There is no STRANGER match in History than between God and the Israelites.

Israel was weak, sinful, foolish, powerless and unfaithful yet He said , “I will betroth you to me forever.”

Don’t settle for a relationship that will keep God at arms length.

God desires to be intimate with you but unfortunately you are an IDOL worshipper.

YES, YOU!!!

Let’s gauge how susceptible you really are!!

How do you spend your time on these precious resources?

Your time?  Your talents?  Your money?

What portion of your day is spent thinking about God or what portion is spent on your idolatrous attachments?

You can ask God for forgiveness and change today.

Let God be your husband.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

HOW DO YOU TREAT YOUR  SPOUSE 

  We often forget that if you are a believer in Christ, you have been promised a mansion.

In the United States, a mansion is a dwelling that is over 8,ooo square feet.

Can you imagine cleaning that place everyday?

Jesus said in John 14:2, “In my Father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you.  I go to prepare a place for you.”

I can’t even imagine what these mansions will look like.

CASE AND POINT: I have never been in a mansion but when my husband and I were missionaries in England, we had to visit a Christian school right outside of London.  As we pulled into the gates, and viewed this beautiful edifice, I felt like I was in an exotic, romantic, fairy tale land.  It looked like a huge mansion on this enormous lot of lush green grass.  It seemed like we were driving up in a carriage.  It used to be a hospital/rest home for the elderly.

If you and I could just have a glimpse of that mansion, I don’t have any doubt that we would obey all His commandments.

God doesn’t want us to obey Him because we have a mansion, He desires that we do it because we love Him and want to be with Him in ETERNITY.

My kids are always nice when I am giving or lending them money.  But during times of discipline, sometimes an attitude “rears its ugly head.”

Sound familiar???   This is the same reaction that God has to deal with when he tries to instruct us.

The Israelites believed that YAHWEH was MELEK.

MELEK  means “King” and the Israelites knew that he was king, not just over them, but over every nation on the earth.

Jesus is the “King of kings”, who demonstrated perfect obedience here on earth for us.

When you pray to YAHWEH MELEK, you are praying to the God who watches over the whole earth.

Psa.47:7  “God is King of all the earth.”

What kind of a spouse would you be if you really believed that in a few short years you would inherit a mansion?

How would you act as a spouse if you really believed that you would in a short time inherit everything your heart desires?

Do you desire to be in this PLACE where there is no more crying, no more worrying, no more loneliness and no more being misunderstood?

How are you acting since you know that you will be going in just a few short years, to a place where you will always love and be loved?

This is a place where every need of yours will be fulfilled.

Why isn’t this KNOWLEDGE making you a better spouse and putting everything in the right perspective?

Are you still trying to stockpile what this world has to offer?

Ask God to give you a growing desire for your new world to come so you can have the right Christian VALUES here and now towards your marriage.

“Then the King will say to those on his right, “Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world.”  Matt. 25:34

Let ‘s act like royalty.

Let’s live like royals who are headed to the home of the King of kings, and Lord of lords.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

WHAT IS BUGGING YOUR SPOUSE?

 One of the things that really bug’s a wife is that her husband never asks for directions when he is lost.

And a big AMEN from me!  Lol!!!

Well wives I have an eye opener for you, us wives need directions also.

How many times are you totally OFF TRACK in your thinking, but you don’t ask for help.

David wrote in Psalms 23 that the LORD is His shepherd.

David was a shepherd and he knew how VITAL it was to keep his sheep from straying and he protected them from thieves and wild animals by forfeiting his own life.

YAHWEH ROI is the one true shepherd for His people.

 “The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures.

He leads me beside quiet waters,

he restores my soul.

He guides me in paths of righteousness

For his name’s sake.”  (Psalm 23:1-3)

God gently, through His precious Holy Spirit, brings you back when you wander from God’s way of righteousness.

When you are going through DARK times in your marriage, He is there constantly caring for you.

He watches over you night and day because we are like sheep, when we are vulnerable, we start to panic.

CASE AND POINT:  My father-in-law (who lived with us for 17 years), my aunt (my mothers sister who I was very close to), and my mother and father, all died within a year and a half.  It is said that it takes about 2 years to get over the death of a family member.  I didn’t get 2 year intervals to finish mourning before another death was to be dealt with.

I can testify that God truly “restored my soul” and our family was able to deal with grief and gain supernatural strength to stay focused on Jesus during our ordeal.

Scripture tells us that without Christ, we have no direction.

Without Christ you cannot CONTROL your attraction to sin, or your selfish nature.

How can you keep your spiritual life on course without Christ.

Jesus is called the “Lamb of God” and the “Good Shepherd.”  He became a part of the flock like us by laying down His life.

Because Jesus was the Lamb of God, we can truly live.

Do you let your fears dictate to you how to respond to the issues of life?

YAHWEH ROI, our LORD the Shepherd, has left us His promises.

Psa.23:4 “Even though I walk

Through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil,

For you are with me;

Your rod and your staff,

They comfort me. 

Is the devil lying to you that your marriage is not going to make it?

Does he tell you that you are missing out on LIFE?

Are you afraid of what you will do if something happens to your spouse?

Fear is powerful and it will push you into the WRONG path.

Insecurity and anxiety will overwhelm you if you let fear shape your behavior and choices.

Stay on the right path as you allow the Holy Spirit to DIRECT your marital life.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

FACING TRIALS

IT IS EASY TO IDENTIFY with Job in chapter 29 as he speaks of his former life, “When the friendly counsel of God was over my tent” (v.4).  But one lesson from Job’s life should be that hardships and suffering are inevitable in life.  If you haven’t already faced significant trials as a couple, you will eventually.

Here’s what we’ve learned during these times:

First, we need to use times of suffering as an opportunity to draw close to God.  Nothing happens in our lives apart from what He allows or ordains.  As Psalm 23:4 tells us, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and your staff, they comfort me.”

Second, we need to be there for each other.  A husband and wife must be involved with each other during a crisis.  When our teenage son, Samuel, was diagnosed with muscular dystrophy, I remember it took a deliberate act of my will to move toward Barbara and the pain she was experiencing because I wasn’t at the same place she was.  I wasn’t as ready to talk about it as she was and she needed to talk about it.  So I took the initiative to talk with her.

Third, we need to make our marriage a priority.  We know that if our marriage remains on solid ground, our children will feel stronger and more secure as well.

Fourth, we’ve learned that we need to allow the body of Christ to minister to us.  The biggest way our friends helped during the situation with Samuel was in writing letters.  These letters really broadened Samuel’s perspective of the body of Christ.  I don’t think he had any idea that people cared like they do.

Finally, we have learned to hold to the truth of God’s Word no matter what our emotions told us.  We can’t deny our emotions, but we can’t allow them to control our responses, either.  You’ve got to hang on to the truth of Scripture and let that be the foundation of your home.

Even when we don’t feel God loves us, we know from Scripture that He does.  When we don’t feel any good can come out of a trial or calamity, we know from Romans 8:28 that all things really do “work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.”

Through the experience with Samuel, we saw that our son was learning to trust God even when he didn’t understand His plan.  I remember one evening a few months after the diagnosis, when he and I were driving home from the grocery.  We had been talking about his limitations, and I shared how God has always used people regardless of their situation.  My feeble efforts to comfort him seemed shallow.  A moment of silence filled the car.

Then Samuel turned from looking out the window and said resolutely “Well, Dad, I guess you don’t need legs to serve God.”

Tears filled my eyes.  My son was teaching me a lesson on trust.  And as I drove home I prayed silently, “Lord, increase my faith and use our son for your purposes.”

NOTE:  This article came from the book Family Life Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

THE ANTIDOTE FOR COMPLAINING

I WONDER WHAT WE WOULD find if we could do a little open-heart surgery on a complainer?  I think that it would show that grumbling can be a form of heart disease–rebellion against authority.  When  Job said, “Even today my complaint is bitter,” immediately he added, “Oh, that I knew where I might find Him (God), that I might come to His seat”— in order to complain about the injustices done to him (Job.23:2-3).

I have a confession: I struggle with complaining.  Over the years, God has taught me a few things about the problem.

Usually, I’ve found, complaining is a loss of perspective, a failure to remember who is in control.  Such a person wonders, “Does God really know what’s best for me?”

Generally a grumbler feels dissatisfied with his lot in life, with the circumstances God has allowed to come his way.  Israel’s grumbling in the desert was symptomatic of a far more fatal disease: unbelief, a lack of faith that God knew what He was doing.

So what’s God’s prescription for this heart problem?  “Do all things without complaining and disputing,” Paul writes, “that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world” (Phil.2:114,15).  Are you guilty of grumbling, or does your light shine in your marriage and family?

It may be that you will want to memorize this verse, then lead your family in the same assignment.  I did.  And it helped!

NOTE:  This article came form the book Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

IS YOUR MARRIAGE SHAKY?

  If we look at the statistics for a lasting marriage, our hopes seem dim.

There is about a 50% chance that our marriage will not make it.

God doesn’t go by statistics nor does he worry.

Our LORD is the “rock” and He represents steadfast faithfulness, protection and permanence.

Psa.144:1 “Praise the LORD my Rock,

who trains my hands for war

my fingers for battle.”

“The LORD my Rock” in Hebrew is YAHWEH TSURI.

The Hebrew word Tsuri is translated “rock”.

Was there ever a time in your life when you felt very vulnerable?

When you cried out for HELP did God hear your cries?

In 1Samuel, Hannah cried out to God for a child and when that child was born she gave God a great prayer of praise.

1Sam.2:2 “…there is no Rock like our God.”

When you pray, YAHWEH TSURI is the God who you can always count on.

CASE AND POINT:  I remember the day that my dad abandoned our family when I was thirteen.  I was fearful and could not sleep at night.  Fear of someone coming in and hurting our family overcame me.  Since there was no one to protect us, I slept in the closet hoping that an intruder would not find me.   It took a few months, but eventually my mother moved to a better neighborhood and I adjusted to the fact that my dad wasn’t coming back anytime soon.

Psa.144:2 “He is my loving God and my fortress, my stronghold  and my deliverer…”

Confess to God if you have a habit of worrying which will hinder you from trusting God.

Is something shaking your CONFIDENCE that you are facing today?  Is it in your marriage?  Trouble in your home?

Keep your focus on Jesus no matter how devastating life may seem.

Are you looking at the circumstances around you and are becoming very disturbed?  This can rip into your marriage.

Build your life and your marriage on the word of God.

Remember, YAHWEH TSURI is the rock that spoke to the Israelites.

No matter what beats against your house or your marriage, remember that your foundation is securely built on the rock.

Keep in mind that blessings come not by wishing but by YIELDING to the Holy Spirit that is within you and he is there to guide you.

Decide to partner with God to build a better marriage by sticking to Gods commandments, staying in His word and spending more time in prayer.

When life begins to shake and crumble around you, the LORD who is the eternal Rock will be there to give you strength and rest.

Jesus was the spiritual rock that was with God’s people in the desert.

1Cor.10:4 “And did all drink the same spiritual drink: for they drank of that spiritual Rock that followed them: and that Rock was Christ.”

You are a living stone with Christ as the cornerstone.

1Pet.2:4-8 “…I lay in Sion a chief cornerstone, elect, precious: and he that believeth on him shall not be confounded…a rock of offence..”

You have security in Christ!!!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

DOES YOUR SPOUSE OFFEND YOU?

An oxymoron is conjoining contradictory terms (as in “deafening silence”).

How do you have “great peace” in marriage?

We always turn to God’s word for our answers to marital or any other problems.

Psa.119:165 KJV “Great peace have they which love the law: and nothing shall offend them.”

A woman can take wounds from a friend and be ready to patch things up but when it comes from her spouse, she BLEEDS to death.

When a friend offends, it is iron sharpening iron, but when the husband does, the sparks will fly.

Why is it that a woman can act REASONABLE with strangers yet become easily offended with her husband?

This happens when we do not apply Gods word to our life.

Live by Gods word and you WON’T be so offended by your spouse.

The result of love for God and His word is “great peace.”

When you are obedient to God’s word, it will keep you from being offended from any person, especially your spouse.

Phil.4:7 “And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”

God demands that we do not offend our spouse but he also demands that we live free from not being offended by any one.

In Judges 6:24, Gideon built an altar to the LORD and called it “…the LORD of peace…” , YAHWEH SHALOM.

SHALOM is a Hebrew word which implies “peace”.

If there is any pattern in your life or marriage that keeps you from experiencing God’s peace, confess it to God.

God desires to free you from spiritual OPPRESSION.

The peace we long for in our marriage can only come from God.

Don’t be fooled into thinking that peace comes from having a PERFECT relationship.

Practicing the presence of God is the only way to have real peace.

What has caused you to be so BUSY that you have not practiced Gods presence or you are not seeking His face?

What is making you frustrated and anxious?

What is STEALING your peace?

Have you corroded your faith because of compromises you have made?

Cry out to God and he will DRAW you into His presence.

Confess any lack of faith in God to bring peace to your marriage.

To be at peace with God, your spouse and yourself , live in the presence of God through the POWER of the Holy Spirit.

Call on the name of Jesus!!

Fighting the “good fight” and loving it.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

WHERE’S OUR MARITAL “ZING?”

 God calls a marriage union his “holy institution” in Malachi.

Mal.2:11 “…For Judah has profaned the LORDS holy institution which He loves…”

The word “holiness” in the bible refers to something that is separated and sacred.

Holiness involves you separating yourself from sinful attitudes.

You can’t separate yourself from sinful people or a sinful world, but you have been liberated from sins grip.

Lev.19:1-2” The Lord said to Moses, “Speak to the entire assembly of Israel and say to them: “Be holy because I, the LORD your God, am holy.”” 

God was called QEDOSH YISRAEL, which in Hebrew means “Holy One of Israel”.

The people of Israel became “holy” because God chose them to be set apart.

In every relationship, the Israelites were to reflect their devotion and commitment to God by displaying and honoring His character.

God’s holiness involves absolute hostility towards sin and not just separation from sin.

Holiness involves Gods love, mercy, knowledge, goodness, justice and power.

The Holy Spirit enables you to imitate Christ’s holiness if you are a believer.

God’s presence is overpowering and when we are in His midst we will immediately see our sin.

God wants to reveal to us areas in our marriage that are falling short of His holiness.

There are times in our Christian walk when we feel our marriage dry up and our relationship with God dry up.

We start to drift as troubles mount and pleasures start to entice us.

Does it seem like your heart has grown empty and cold?

Do you wonder what happened to the “zing” that was once there?

Are you starting to slip back into old sinful habits and patterns?

Without holiness, no one will see God.

Heb.12:14 “Follow after peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord.”

Be fully awake to God’s life within us with a passionate commitment.

Are you hanging out with anyone who is sexually immoral?

Are you listening to anyone who is greedy and selfish?

Are you staying clear from all idolaters and slanderers?

Don’t be influenced by a drunkard!

I will end with Leviticus 19:1-4, 9-18 for you to read what the Israelites were told what holiness is and what God expected of them:

The Lord said to Moses, “Speak to the entire assembly of Israel and say to them: ‘Be holy because I, the LORD your God, am holy.”

’Each of you must respect his mother and father, and you must observe my Sabbaths.  I am the LORD your God.

“’Do not turn to idols or make gods of cast metal for yourselves. I am the LORD your God…

“’When you reap the harvest of your land, do not reap to the very edges of your field or gather the gleanings of your harvest.  Do not go over your vineyard a second time or pick up the grapes that have fallen.  Leave them for the poor and the alien.  I am the LORD your God.

“’Do not steal.

“’Do not lie.

“’Do not deceive one another.

“’Do not swear falsely by my name and so profane the name of your God.  I am the LORD.

“’Do not defraud your neighbor or rob him.

“’Do not hold back the wages of a hired man overnight.

“’Do not curse the deaf or put a stumbling block in front of the blind, but fear your God.  I am the LORD.

“’Do not pervert justice; do not show partiality to the poor or favoritism to the great, but judge your neighbor fairly.

“’Do not do anything that endangers your neighbor’s life.  I am the LORD.

“’Do not hate your brother in your heart.  Rebuke your neighbor frankly so you will not share in his guilt.

“’Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself.  I am the LORD.’”

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

JEALOUSY IS PAINFUL

Unfaithfulness in a marriage emotionally cuts to core of our heart.

It affects everyone around mainly close friends and family.

Children never recover and have to live with rejection and distrust.

Have you ever asked God why this is experienced here on earth?

We know that because of Lucifer we all live in a wicked and immoral world.

One of the things I experienced was Gods tender understanding after I became a member of his family.

God understands because he is God, EL KANNA, a jealous God who loves us completely.

CASE AND POINT:  Before I became a Christian, I was extremely jealous.  I had no reason to be, but it was deeply embedded in my heart.  I felt like I had nothing: no looks, no intelligence, no personality, no money and no father.  I was jealous of everyone.  I just wanted to be everyone else.  When I got married, I felt like I didn’t deserve such a wonderful man.  I thought if anyone new what a great man I was married to, everyone would want him.  My husband has never done anything to make me jealous or suspicious.  This jealousy had nothing to do with my husband, it had to do with my insecurities.  Thank God when I got saved it was the first thing God dealt with.  He showed me that He had a place in heaven for me with my name in it.  I was going to heaven, a privileged place for those he handpicked to be with him.   I felt the jealousy melt as I realized God is “fair” and “just.”  Once in a great while, jealousy “rears its ugly head” and I say, “Find another sucker.  I am a child of the King.”  I suffered with jealousy for 26 years.  JEALOUSY NO MORE!!

We read in Gods word that he is a jealous God but it is a different kind of jealousy.

Ex.34:14 “Do not worship any other god, for the LORD, whose name is Jealous, (EL KANNA) is a jealous God.”

God is a jealous God who cannot endure unfaithfulness.

Joseph Addison, an English poet said, “Jealousy is that pain which a man feels from the apprehension that he is not equally beloved by the person whom he entirely loves.”

God wants us to equally return his passion and he will not be satisfied till we do.

Have you asked God for His grace to stay faithful to your spouse and to be faithful to God regardless of outside pressures or temptations?

Remember that your marriage is His “Holy Institution” and he desires that you be faithful to the end.

In order to live peaceably, be tolerant of your spouse and respect each other’s differences.

Deut.4:23-24 “Be careful not to forget the covenant of the LORD your God…For  the LORD your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God (EL KANNA). 

When scriptures portray God as a consuming fire, it shows his divine anger against the sins of men and nations.

When we oppose our marital vows, God views us as a sinful terrorist to His “Holy Institution”.  You now have to deal with ESH OKLAH, God the consuming fire.

When our love for God and obedience to His marriage treaty are respected he becomes a “wall of fire” to protect and deliver us.

Zech.2:5 “I myself will be a wall of fire around it, declares the LORD…”

Gods consuming fire shows his holiness, and his purpose to restore the proper relationship with us.

Remain faithful to both relationships: God and spouse.

You have made a vow and covenant.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.