LOVE YOUR SPOUSE

#4 – HOW TO GET YOUR SPOUSE TO THINK YOUR WAY

Begin in a friendly way

FRIENDLY means acting in a non-threatening manner toward and/or showing kindness to someone.

There are some pretty important words in the definition of friendly, like non-threatening and showing kindness.

How many times have you wanted your spouse to think your way and you end it with THREATS? Huh?? How many times??

Being friendly is also showing kindness.

How do we be NICE when we are loosing the battle of convincing our spouse that we are right?

It takes a lot of patience and self-control.

Let’s look at some scriptures that use the word “friend”:
Judges 19:3 “And her husband arose, and went after her, to speak friendly unto her, and to bring her again…”

The word “friendly” used in this verse, in Hebrew is leb. It means with care, comfort, kindness, understanding and wisdom.

Does that sound like how you RESPOND when you are not getting the response that you want from your spouse?

Prov.18:24 “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.”
This verse is saying, that in order to have friends, you have to dine and entertain them. But there is a friend, that will stick by you during adversity.
The One who sticks closer than a brother is YOU!  The spouse!

In Mal.4:14 , it says that the wife is a COMPANION.

You are his friendly friend!
It is okay to be PASSIONATE about wanting your spouse to think your way.

It is okay to bring him a dozen red roses, with chocolate candies and a marching band. Why Not?!? It might work! (If it does, tell me. I might try it. heehee!

CASE AND POINT: I hope I remember all the details to this story, because I thought it was cool. When Mel Gibson wanted Julia Roberts to do a movie with him (Conspiracy Theory), he sent a marching band with him. She was laughing hysterically while she was telling the story. I can’t image what she was like when the band arrived. Needless to say, her response to Mel was, YES!

The point is, that in the process, don’t forget to be friendly.

HERE ARE SOME TIPS ON HOW TO BE FRIENDLY.

1. Smile. I know that I mention that a lot but that is because you guys keep forgetting to smile. We smile at everyone all day. Then we come home and smile at the dog. What happened to the spouse?

2. Learn to speak, small talk. Have a nice little chit chat about something interesting. Not your girlfriends business but something of his interest.

3. Try talking about positive topics. If we listen to ourselves, most of the stuff we talk about is to negative. Especially women. Stay positive. Again, talk about the topics he likes. IT WORKS!!
One time a pastor asked me what puts my husband in a good mood. I told him, his baby. He told me that he was going to have a T-shirt made with my babies picture on it before he entered my husbands’ office. Lol!! I told him that would definitely work. My husband would be like putty in his hands. Lol!! Be creative! You are friendly with everyone else, why not with your spouse?

4. Have a sense of humor. Your spouse loves to have a good laugh. So laugh even if you have to think of a joke or a funny story. You need to have fun with each other. Look for opportunities to laugh. Even if it isn’t the funniest thing you have ever heard.

I heard on the history channel that King Henry the VIII, wore his WEALTH. He had his jewels sown into all of his garments. His vests were extravagant. Everything he wore was exquisite.

God has given us garments of jewels to wear. That is our countenance; a SMILE.

Wear your wealth!

Do you want your spouse to think your way?

Be his friendly friend!!!

NOTE: Don’t miss tomorrow’s post which is a continuation of this series, “How to get your spouse to think your way.” Daily there is a new post.

#3 – HOW TO GET YOUR SPOUSE TO THINK YOUR WAY

If You Are Wrong, Admit it Quickly

Why do people try to wiggle out of their mistakes?

Some people have a character flaw of being addicted to “being right.”

Flaws exist because they are a RESPONSE to a challenge or a trauma that threatens us .

Character flaws definitely make life much more difficult because you have to carry around a lot of baggage.

The problem with “dodging a bullet”, is that the bullet is still flying around.

The “dodging bullet” still needs to be dealt with and it will probably hit somebody else.

As the “dodging bullet” flies around, you end up losing the respect from those close to you.

You can turn this common flaw into the virtue, HUMILITY.

Phil.2:8  “And being found in fashion as a man, he humbled himself, and became obedient unto death, even the death of the cross”

In Phil.2:8, the word “fashion”  is the Greek word schema.  This was the same word that was used in ancient times to depict a king who exchanged his kingly garments for a brief period of time for the clothing of a beggar.

God almighty shed His glorious appearance and PUT ON the garment of flesh made from dust just for us.

The word “humbled” is the Greek word tapeinao which means to be willing  to stoop to any measure that is needed.

Ask yourself what the reward is for being addicted to “being right.”

Addicted to “being right” shows that the person has issues:

Maybe, trying to save face or, holding on to self esteem or, an array of other reasons.

Next time you catch yourself trying to “be right”, take it as an OPPORTUNITY to admit you’re wrong.

How can admitting you are wrong help you?

People being addicted to “being right” often are criticized for not being compassionate and caring about others.

A person who admits they are wrong, are more resourceful because he believes this gives him the insight to develop new capabilities.

CASE AND POINT:  I remember we had a guest speaker at church years ago.  He told the church that they should always be working on something in their life to be more like Jesus.  Just the week before God had showed me an area that I needed to improve.  I asked God to reveal to me every time I did that thing he wasn’t pleased with.  I allowed the Holy Spirit to convict me and guide my attitude about that area.  I was very excited about partnering with the Holy Spirit to work on areas of my life.

Admitting you are wrong creates:

An environment of TOLERANCE towards others,

Open-mindedness to discovering the truth, and

It will point out where you sound STUPID.

Admitting your fault puts you closer to dealing with it.

This could be the first step towards a successful turn-around.

Admitting your fault SHOWS your integrity and courage even if there are consequences.

It is everyone’s responsibility to seek what is right and just.  Phil.4:8 “Finally, brethren…whatsoever things are just…think on these things.

From lifehack.org, here are pointers on confessing up and dealing with your mistakes:

• See things from someone else’s perspective:  If you’ve made a promise and failed to keep it, put yourself n the other party’s shoes and see how things look from there.
• Be sympathetic:  Realize that your mistakes might affect many more people than just you, and recognize the pain you’ve caused.  A little bit of sympathy can well be the opening you need to set things right.
• Take responsibility:  Don’t try to weasel out of it, and don’t look around wildly for someone else to blame.  Even if your failure came about because someone let you down, you’re ultimately responsible for the projects under your authority.
• Accept the consequences:  It’s hard, I know, but sometimes you have to bite the bullet and take your lumps.  Few actions come without any consequences at all; be prepared to embrace whatever befalls you as a result of the mistakes you’ve made.
• Have a plan:  Taking responsibility means being prepared to clean up the mess, which means you need a plan.  You should have a clear idea of what went wrong and how you can fix it – and how you can avoid it in the future.
• Be sincere:  Don’t pretend to feel sympathy or act phony so that the other person can see how deeply you care.  Don’t play the martyr.  Show honest emotion—the first step to rebuilding the trust lost.
• Apologize.  No, really.  A lot of people go to great lengths to make up for their mistakes – or to hide them – when a simple “I’m sorry” would do the job, and cause a lot fewer hard feelings.

Prov.8:12 “Before destruction the heart of a man is haughty (proud), and before honour is humility.”

If you are wrong, admit it quickly!

Yes, admit it!

NOTE: Don’t miss tomorrows post.  We will continue this series with “How to get your spouse to think your way.

A MAN EXPECTS A WIFE WHO…

NOTE;  This was taken from a book named “Happily Ever After” by Ken Davis.

A MAN EXPECTS A WIFE WHO…

*  is always beautiful and cheerful.

*  could have married a movie star but wants only you.

*  has hair that never needs curlers or a beauty shop.

*  has beauty that won’t run in a rainstorm, because she doesn’t wear makeup.  Her glow is natural.

*  is never sick; she’s just allergic to jewelry and Italian leather shoes.

*  insists that moving the furniture by herself is good for her figure.

*  is an expert at cooking, cleaning house, and fixing the car or computer.

*  is an expert at painting the house.  She even hangs wallpaper by herself.

*  has favorite hobbies are mowing the lawn and shoveling snow.

*  hates credit cards and her favorite expression is “What can I do for you, dear?”

*  thinks you have Einstein’s brain and look like Mr. America.

*  says she loves you because you’re so sexy.

BUT INSTEAD HE GETS A WOMAN WHO:

*  speaks 140 words a minute with wind gusts up to 180.

*  was once a model…for a totem pole.

*  is known as a light eater: as soon as it gets light, she starts eating.

*  treats you like a god…offering three burnt offerings a day.  Where there is smoke, there she is, cooking.

*  has hair that, despite what she does, looks like an explosion in a steel wool factory.

*  uses a broom only to fly somewhere.

*  can find you if you get lost–just open your wallet.

*  fights with the neighbors just to keep in practice until you get home.

*  lets you know you have only two faults:  everything you say and everything you do.

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow’s post.  Daily a new post is on.

SATURDAY – QUESTION & ANSWER

Question #1:  How do you get to the root of a problem without blowing up?

Answer #1:  It sounds like you have been prayed for over and over again, but are going in circles without lasting freedom.

Maybe prayer works temporarily, but the problem pops up again.  It could be that the root of the problem has not been dealt with.  It’s difficult getting to the root of a problem when the focus is on the fruit.

There is a saying:  We laugh at someone who cuts down a tree to reach it’s fruit; but the same mistake is made by every person who is over eager and impatient in the pursuit of pleasure.  –William Ellery Channing

If the roots are planted in unhealthy and damaged soil then there will be bad fruit.  Bad fruit can be jealousy, addictions, physical sickness or an array of other issues.  These issues aren’t the deepest problem, but rather an outlet of expression of a deeper problem.  There could be a deeper seated root often festering away ready to explode again.

Only when we let God go to the root of the problem and bring healing, will you truly be free from the fruits that plague your life.

This is going to take more than just communications skills if you are discussing the wrong issues.

1.  I would ask God what the root problem is.  Ask God to start with your heart, not your spouse.

2.  Whatever root God shows you that needs changing, immediately allow the Holy Spirit to start His divine work in you.

3.  When God shows you what deep issue your spouse may have, remember that you are a part of the solution.  That means that you partner with the Holy Spirit in aiding your spouse in what ever way you can.  This is going to take much long-suffering.  Nothing is overnight.  There could be deep childhood hurts that may take years.

4.  Be patient as the Holy Spirit completes His work.  Remember that you are in this for the long haul.

There is a program that I recommend.  It is called PREPARE-ENRICH.  Check with your pastor to see if he is a certified facilitator in this program.  If not, you can look it up in the internet.  They will give you a list of facilitators in your city.  There are an array of questions that you and your spouse answer separately on the internet.  When finished, the facilitator will give you a ten page report.  It is amazing to find out the strong areas in your marriage.  You will also find growth areas that you need to work on.  I highly recommend it because many times it takes a third party who is impartial to recognize problems.

Keep in mind that your marriage is God’s HOLY INSTITUTION.  He desires to help you.

PARTNER WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT!!!

#2 – HOW TO GET YOUR SPOUSE TO THINK YOUR WAY

Your spouse’s opinion needs to be respected 

Never, never say, “You’re wrong” to your spouse!!

You have just “sucker punched” a direct blow to their intelligence, judgment, pride and self-respect.

Their NATURAL reaction would be to strike back.

This is the worst way to get them to change their mind.

How can you get them to change their opinion by hurting their feelings?

This is a sure way to make your spouse an ENEMY!

In Dale Carnegie’s book, it states that President Theodore Roosevelt said if he could be right 75% of the time, he would reach the highest measure of his expectations.

This is the president who would be elated if he could reach 75% accuracy, yet you expect your husband to be right 100% of the time.

If he isn’t right what do you say??  I know you don’t call him an idiot!  DO YOU?!?

If your accuracy in decision making were that high, you would have Kings knocking at your door for solutions to world problems.

Let’s be FAIR to our spouse; lets be real.

The bible doesn’t tell the wife to feel respectful, she is told to be respectful.

Eph.5:33 “…and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”

Your spouse thrives and grows toward GODLINESS when you respect his opinion on a decision.

You are saying, “I’m smarter than you are or I’m going to show you a thing or two or I’ll make you change your mind,” when you don’t respect his opinion.

If you are going to prove anything, do it subtly.

Don’t let anyone know you are proving YOUR side.

This is not a FOOD NETWORK CHALLENGE where someone is being chopped.

This is your spouse, the love of your life.

If you are CONCERNED about a decision your husband has made, ask him the following:

“Can we talk about____________?  I feel uncomfortable about____________.”

“I’m confused about____________________ .       Can you explain it to me?” 

Give God the freedom to teach your husband through failure.

Give God the freedom to teach you to trust Him through your husband’s failure.

Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers; for they shall be called the children of God.”  Matt.5:9

When you do not respect your spouses’ opinion, you only succeed in STRIPPING them of self-dignity and you have made yourself an unwelcomed part of any decision.

How does that sound to you?  Unwelcomed part of any decision.

A lot of damage can be done if you tell your spouse STRAIGHT OUT that he is wrong.

Jesus said, ”…agree with thine adversary quickly…”

This verse goes on to say the reason for quickly agreeing is that the next move is to go before the judge.

The last thing that we should want in our marriage is to go before the JUDGE.    We don’t belong there!

Prov. 31:26  “She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.”

This woman opens her mouth and wisdom comes out.  Also, kindness is the grace on her lips.  She is an excellent example of a meek and quiet spirit.

It is so easy to say, “I may be wrong.  I frequently am.   Let’s examine the facts.”

It is easy to say, “If I am wrong, I want to be put right.  Let’s examine the facts.”

Isn’t it easier to respect his opinion than to go before the judge?

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow’s post.

#2 – HOW TO GET YOUR SPOUSE TO THINK YOUR WAY

Your spouse’s opinion needs to be respected 

Never, never say, “You’re wrong” to your spouse!!

You have just “sucker punched” a direct blow to their intelligence, judgment, pride and self-respect.

Their NATURAL reaction would be to strike back.

This is the worst way to get them to change their mind.

How can you get them to change their opinion by hurting their feelings?

This is a sure way to make your spouse an ENEMY!

In Dale Carnegie’s book, it states that President Theodore Roosevelt said if he could be right 75% of the time, he would reach the highest measure of his expectations.

This is the president who would be elated if he could reach 75% accuracy, yet you expect your husband to be right 100% of the time.

If he isn’t right what do you say??  I know you don’t call him an idiot!  DO YOU?!?

If your accuracy in decision making were that high, you would have Kings knocking at your door for solutions to world problems.

Let’s be FAIR to our spouse; lets be real.

The bible doesn’t tell the wife to feel respectful, she is told to be respectful.

Eph.5:33 “…and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”

Your spouse thrives and grows toward GODLINESS when you respect his opinion on a decision.

You are saying, “I’m smarter than you are or I’m going to show you a thing or two or I’ll make you change your mind,” when you don’t respect his opinion.

If you are going to prove anything, do it subtly.

Don’t let anyone know you are proving YOUR side.

This is not a FOOD NETWORK CHALLENGE where someone is being chopped.

This is your spouse, the love of your life.

If you are CONCERNED about a decision your husband has made, ask him the following:

“Can we talk about____________?  I feel uncomfortable about____________.”

“I’m confused about____________________ .       Can you explain it to me?” 

Give God the freedom to teach your husband through failure.

Give God the freedom to teach you to trust Him through your husband’s failure.

Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers; for they shall be called the children of God.”  Matt.5:9

When you do not respect your spouses’ opinion, you only succeed in STRIPPING them of self-dignity and you have made yourself an unwelcomed part of any decision.

How does that sound to you?  Unwelcomed part of any decision.

A lot of damage can be done if you tell your spouse STRAIGHT OUT that he is wrong.

Jesus said, ”…agree with thine adversary quickly…”

This verse goes on to say the reason for quickly agreeing is that the next move is to go before the judge.

The last thing that we should want in our marriage is to go before the JUDGE.    We don’t belong there!

Prov. 31:26  “She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.”

This woman opens her mouth and wisdom comes out.  Also, kindness is the grace on her lips.  She is an excellent example of a meek and quiet spirit.

It is so easy to say, “I may be wrong.  I frequently am.   Let’s examine the facts.”

It is easy to say, “If I am wrong, I want to be put right.  Let’s examine the facts.”

Isn’t it easier to respect his opinion than to go before the judge?

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow’s post.

TRAINING YOUR COMPUTER

COMPUTERS!!! I am terrible with computers.  When I get on my computer, there is rarely a time that I am not asking my husband to help me.  My hubby is excellent with computers.  He tells me once and expects me to remember.  I will ask him the same thing everyday if I don’t write it down.    My life would go smoother but a lot slower without computers.

God specifically designed a PC, PERSONAL COMPUTER for each of us.

Our PC is our brain.  It was intricately designed to make us a success for the kingdom of God.

Jer.1:5  “Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee…”

You have a purpose and a special design that makes you, ONLY YOU!

Much of the manner in which we approach life, is a learned behavior.

That is why the Apostle Paul is constantly telling us how to BEHAVE.

This means that you have the ability to “reprogram” your own computer.

But do you???

You need to get rid of a NEGATIVE MENTALITY and develop a habit of happiness.

So what is the first thing we need to do?

SMILE!!   SMILE!!   SMILE!!

No matter what comes your way, you need to have a smile on your face.

When your husband enters that door, he needs to see that SMILE.

Some comments came from Joel Olsteens book, “Become a Better You.”  He is famous for his smile.  His smile has opened many opportunities for him.

Your countenance can give people hope.

You may be the kind of wife that shows with your face, all the problems that have occurred through the day.  The bible says to “…rejoice in the Lord.”

Right now, you need to make a DECISION to be happy, if you are going to be happy, then show it.

Happiness does not depend on your circumstances.

Rom.8:28 “…all things work together for good when you love the Lord.”

It’s a CHOICE that you make.

How have you trained your brain????

It’s YOUR choice, remember???

You don’t have to have your way to be happy.

Our spouse should not have to SEARCH for our smile like looking for an old slipper.

Your smile should hit him at the door with LIP GLOSS!!

Each day is full of surprises and inconveniences.

Don’t let stress steal your joy, BE FLEXIBLE!!

Prolonged stress will affect your health.

You cannot CONTROL people and you cannot CHANGE people.

God cannot use your life the way he really wants to if you always look depressed and only smile on special occasions.

Make a DECISION to keep a smile on your face.

When people see you with peace, joy and happiness, they should want what you have.

REPROGRAM your brain and make some minor adjustments to respond with a smile to problems.

Change your focus and train your mind to see the good.

Let your COUNTENANCE magnify God.

Don’t magnify your problems.

The key is to retain your brain to move away from negative thoughts.

The Apostle Paul said, “I have learned how to be content…”

He learned it.   LEARN.   It did not happen automatically.

A smile is an act of faith.

A smile says everything is going to be ALL RIGHT.

A smile with LIP GLOSS says, “It’s alright”, with love.

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow’s post.  Daily is a new post.

DEAL or NO DEAL?

A few years ago, a relative told us about the TV program “Deal or No Deal.”  They told us how they knew a lot of people who have made watching that program a habit.  I have seen it on before, but I have never watched a whole program.  I think it must be nerve wracking for the contestant because they have to pick one item and let the other

I thought about that game because in Christianity every day the devil plays “Deal or No Deal” with us.   He always tries to get us to deal with wrong attitudes the wrong way.  We are at a huge advantage because we know Gods blessings and rewards by not yielding to the evil one, yet we struggle within ourselves.

“Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls.  (James 1.21)

In the Greek, the words “lay aside”, gives the impression of someone who is laying something down at the same time he is pushing it far away and beyond reach.

What is it in your marriage that causes you to have a bad attitude?

Is there something that you need to LAY DOWN and push far away and beyond your reach?

In James we are told to make a list.  In this list we should have items called FILTHINESS.

The word “filthiness” in the Greek means morally corrupt or dirty.  It is impure and unholy affections.  It is from “rhuparos” meaning cheap or shabby; foul; dirty; moral wickedness.

You can be vexed by the immorality that is in your workplace even though you do not participate in it.

You might be JUSTIFYING the immoral decisions that close friends or family may be indulging in.

You might find yourself watching programs or listening to music that contain parts of immorality in them.

There is a great blog, barbaracasasblog.wordpress.com, which contains insight on today’s artists that our youth consider idols.  These artists are full of an array of wickedness.

James goes on to say, “superfluity of naughtiness” which in the Greek means AN OVER ABUNDANCE OF EVIL.

Keep in mind that what the world calls evil and what God calls evil, are two different things.

This is exactly why Gods word constantly tells us to hide Gods word in our HEART so that we will not sin against him.

The next thing we are told to do is,” …receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls.”

This means to receive with humility the implanted word of God that has the power to save your soul.

Do you recognize WRONG ATTITUDES in your life that need changing?

How about patterns of behaviors that need changing?

Are there BAD HABITS you have not been able to overcome?

Are there bondages that you need deliverance from?

In James verses 19-21 is a test of Christian living.

Anger

In James verses 19-20, the subject of anger is brought up.

There are four kinds of dispositions:

1. Those easily angered and easily pacified.
2. Those easily angered and difficult to appease.
3. Those not easily angered and easily appeased.
4. Those not easily angered and difficult to appease.

James 1:20 says, “For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.”

When you allow anger in your marriage, you cannot meet God’s requirement of being a righteous person.

We find COMFORT in attending church as if we are meeting all the requirements of being a Christian.

Christianity is allowing Gods Holy Spirit complete control and repenting of the areas that we fall short in.

Lay the anger down, and push it away beyond your reach.

With God, it is a Deal or No Deal!

Righteousness and unrighteousness cannot live in the same person.

Right this minute allow the HOLY SPIRIT in your life and in the center of your marriage.

The Holy Spirit is your guide, teacher, comforter, and everything that you need to succeed in your marriage.

PRAISE GOD!  He hasn’t left us alone!

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow’s post.  Daily there is a new post.

WIVES – MASTER SCULPTORS

The fifth thing a husband can’t do without is for his wife to be PROUD OF HIM.

He needs your Admiration!!

A sculptor is an artist who shapes a hard material (stone, wood, etc.) by shaving or chipping away at it.

Wives are masters at sculpting.

They say that when a woman marries a man, she can’t wait to change him. When a man marries a woman, he hopes she will never change.

When you tell your husband that you think he is wonderful, he is ENERGIZED to do more.

It inspires him to handle new responsibilities and to perfect his skills.

Your appreciation of him brings more SATISFACTION than his paycheck.

Behind every man should be an admiring wife.

Instead of an admiring wife, there ends up being a wife with a CHISEL in her hand ready to sculpt a change in him.

In Dr. Laura Schlessingers book, “The Proper Care & Feeding of Husbands”, has some very interesting things to say.

She states in her book that a smart wife doesn’t start chipping away at who he is and what he does.

How would you feel if you married your husband and he walks through the door with a life size COOKIE CUTTER of the ideal wife he wanted and you have to measure up to that.

As ridiculous as it sounds, this is what wives do to husbands.

It is under the umbrella of  “I am trying to help him.”

It is in the same drawer with your chisel and it looks like a chisel.

Men first YEARNED for their mothers’ acceptance, approval, and appreciation, and then their wives’.

When a wife gives them the three A’s, acceptance, approval, and appreciation, a husband will do anything to please her.

To keep a husband, you need to admire him for the things he ENJOYS and wants to do also.

If you don’t, he will perceive himself as being an annoyance and irrelevant to his wives’ more important motivations.

Laura has the following in her book:

“Wives want romance, hugs, kisses, and surprises.  They would get more of these things if they hadn’t just told hubby he was stupid or that a time out with the guys was tantamount to abandonment…or that four hours out of 168 to himself is being overly selfish or self-indulgent.” (4hrs. in a week)

There was a time many years ago, when my husband had to travel quite a bit to our other churches.  The weight and heaviness was starting to get me down.  I read a book about Oral Roberts.  His wife said that there was a place in Palm Springs that he would go to in order to clear his mind and hear from God.  When she saw him flustered, she would tell him he needed to get away.  I noticed that when my husband was away, he would come back energized.  He would be renewed.  When he got away, he could see the ministry with revelation.

I am not suggesting that all husbands take off nor spend large portions of time away.

Women are often attracted to someone who is athletic, musical, etc.

Then after marriage or as time passes, they don’t want them to go to practice and then not to do it anymore.   Nothing!!

Your responsibility is to SUPPORT HIM in whatever brings him joy or energy.

Marriage means we share—but it also means we support the individuality necessary for mental and emotional health, spiritual growth, and ultimate well-being of the relationship.

Without this healthy balance, a marriage can decay or dissolve.

Okay girls.  Put the chisel down!!!

Your marriage can become an overfilled pressure cooker, unless you have necessary OUTLETS.

Stress many times is released with quiet contemplation or a complete change in activity.

Men need some SPACE away from femininity and domesticity at times, in order to reassert their important masculinity.

I have to tell you something that I see quite a bit. Wives that have several close sisters almost always make the holiday plans.  You just know on holidays their poor husbands don’t have a chance to make decisions for his family.  They have to go to her family and he has to do what her sisters want to do even though he works hard and it’s his holiday also.   At the beginning of the marriage, he probably wanted to do some fun things.  Now he just goes with the program but has nothing to look forward to.  It’s the same people with the same conversations.

GIVE HIM A BREAK, GIRLS!!!   Let him plan the next holiday away from the same-old-same-old.

If your family gets their back up, then you know you are in bondage. Lol!!  They should be excited for you!

Remember the three A’s: Acceptance, Approval and Appreciation.  These are all a part of admiration.

ADMIRATION is an expression of your love.

1Cor.13:3  “And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not love, it profits me nothing.”

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post.  Daily there is a new post.

(NOTE:  This was taken from a book called “Happily ever Laughter” by Ken Davis.)

MARITAL DIFFERENCES

I married my wife for her good looks-

but not the ones she is giving me lately.

-unknown

At our wedding rehearsal, when the minister said,

“For better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness or in health,” Gail responded,

“I’ll take better, rich and healthy.”

The minister reminded us that it wasn’t multiple choice.

– Dave Veerman

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy.

First, let her think she is having her own way.

And second, let her have it!

-Lyndon B. Johnson

If Laurie, Linda, Michelle and Liz go out for lunch,

they call each other Laurie, Linda, Michelle and Liz.

If Mark, Juan, Franklin, and Paul go out,

they will affectionately refer to each other as

Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut Head, and Snappy.

– unknown

Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate through the night.

-unknown

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

– unknown

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.

-unknown

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant’s life,

she will save the infant’s life

without even considering if there are men on base.

-Dave Barry

A man has five items in his bathroom:

a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.

The average number of items in a typical woman’s bathroom is 337.

A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

-unknown

A man will pay two dollars of a one dollar item he needs.

A woman will pay one dollar for a two dollar item that she doesn’t need,

but it’s on sale.

-unknown

I’m sure glad my husband (Billy) and I are not exactly alike;

if that were the case, one of us wouldn’t be necessary.

-Ruth Graham

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post.   Daily there is a new post.