LOVE YOUR SPOUSE

A REAL STORYBOOK FINISH

Do you want a marriage that both of you find fulfilling, satisfying, and sometimes thrilling?  Then do in your marriage what the apostle Paul advises in Philippians 2:3,4, “Esteem one another better than yourself, looking out not only for your own interests, but for the interests of your spouse.”  Imagine if Abraham had done this with Sarah, rather than forcing her to do something deceitful in an effort to save his own hide!

While looking out for the interests of another doesn’t come naturally, couples who commit to self-sacrifice discover a whole new side to romance.  Is this hard work?  Absolutely!  Is it worth the effort?  You bet!  After years of hard work, I have no question about the payoff:  Our love for each other and the romance we share are richer today than at anytime in our marriage.

Remember, marriage is not just about a grand beginning.  It’s about committing to a strong finish.  It’s weathering the storms of disappointment and the turbulence of life, never losing the ability to sing with Solomon, “How fair is your love…How much better than wine is your love” (Song 4:10).  That kind of storybook finish can be yours.

ROMANCE  Q&A

Question #1.  Does God care how we relate to one another sexually?

Answer #1.  The Song of Songs, though full of spiritual meaning and application, provides an excellent description of God’s intention for a husband and wife’s sexual relationship.  According to Solomon, the man has the freedom to enjoy his wife’s body, and the woman has the freedom to enjoy his.  This sensual book offers several key ideas on how to be a great lover.

First, Solomon readily praised his beloved.  He told her how beautiful she was with vivid and picturesque language.  I often ask the husbands at our Weekend to Remember marriage conferences, “When was the last time you wrote your wife a love letter that praised her and told her how beautiful she is?”

Second, Solomon was romantic.  His poetic words describe his beloved’s entire body as a source of delight.  Few husbands have an easy time being romantically creative, but the rest of us need help in this area.

Third, Solomon’s focus was physical.  A wife may be tempted to resent her husband’s sex drive and physical focus, but she should understand that a man is stimulated by sight much more than is a woman.  God designed him this way deliberately!

NOTE:  This article is from “Family Life Marriage Bible”  by Dennis and Barbara Rainey

SPOUSES, WASH YOUR HANDS

Yes, wash your hands!!  Why?

God’s word tells us to wash our hands for a very good reason.

Lev.15:11 “And whomsoever he toucheth that hath the issue, and hath not rinsed his hands in water, he shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even.”

These verses are to bring us to the realization that God’s laws are not there to hurt us but to protect us.

What makes the verses in Leviticus so odd for those days, is that 150 years ago surgeons did not even wash their hands before operating on someone.  Bacteria multiplies 281, 500, 000, 000, 000 times in 24 hours.

Stay with me now cause I’m going somewhere with this.  God divinely gave the Jews wisdom concerning physical cleanliness when at that time no other nation knew about bacteria.

Moses was way ahead of his time by thousands of years, giving them sanitation and health laws along with prevention and treatment of diseases.  HALLELUJAH!

God provided instructions that prevented us from becoming ill to begin with.

That excites me because YAHWEH ROPHE, “the Lord who heals, is the source of all healing.

He not only heals your body he heals your mind and soul.

YAHWEH ROPHE, “the Lord who heals”, can heal your marriage just put your trust in him.

Give him the time and liberty to search your heart and let him tell you what it contains.

If we ask for forgiveness and obey his word, he promises to heal you.

Ex.15:26 NKJV “If you diligently heed the voice of the Lord your God and do what is right in His sight, give ear to His commandments and keep all His statues, I will put none of the diseases on you which I have brought on the Egyptians.  For I am the LORD who heals you.”

Jesus tells us that when a person is sick it doesn’t means that it is caused because of sin from the sick person. It can be because we are living in a sinful and fallen world.

For married couples, He provided moral laws to protect from spiritual diseases as well as physical illnesses.

It’s amazing how Jesus healed the blind in front of spiritually blind people.

Have faith and pray for healing knowing that YAHWEH ROPHE, is a God who heals.

Jas.5:14-15 “”…And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise him up.”

God heals the brokenhearted.

Psa.147:3 “He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.”

Let Him heal you.

Let Him heal your marriage.

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post.  Daily there is a new post.

HELP, FLIGHT CANCELLED!!

In a marriage, everyone expects the husband to be the provider.

In some marriages, the wife is the provider, which works out very well for some couples.

Every day we count on people and businesses to provide goods or services to meet a need in our life.

Because my husband and I travel quite a bit, we are always concerned about arriving at the airport and seeing that our flight has been cancelled.

CASE AND POINT:  My husband had an early flight out of Sacramento so he decided to stay at a hotel in that city.  He made his reservations and explained to them that he would not arrive till 11pm.  He preached that night out of town and he was going to drive to Sacramento.  When he arrived, they informed him that his room was given away.  He had already paid for it with a credit card and they had already received their money for the room.  They politely told him he would be credited on his credit card for his room.  My husband asked them to get him a room at another hotel.  They politely informed him that there were no more rooms in the city because a very important event was taking place in Sacramento and he would have to drive over an hour to get a room.  My poor husband spent the night in his car.  He was not a “happy camper”.  Actually, he felt so violated and was infuriated at their deceptiveness to give his room away.

There will be times in your life when you are counting on your spouse for something and they just won’t come through.

High expectations can cause an array of problems in a marriage.

Rather than allowing your marriage to take a beating, put your trust in  YAHWEH YIREH.

Pray to YAHWEH YIREH,  who is the God who sees the situation before hand and will provide for your needs.

YAHWEH YIREH has provided joy and laughter for you through the turbulent times.

YAHWEH YIREH has provided for you rest during times of hard work.

YAHWEH YIREH has provided for you food when your pantry was empty.

YAHWEH YIREH has provided for you shelter when you could not afford or find anything comfortable.

Gen.22:1-14, God asked Abraham to sacrifice his son on an altar.  When he was ready to kill his son, God intervened and provided a ram to sacrifice on the altar instead.  So Abraham named the place “The Lord Will Provide.”

Because Abraham obeyed God, he was blessed with a long life, many children, wealth and a spiritual legacy.

Your small steps of obedience will lead to larger ones and you will receive bigger blessings.

Obedience is the key to marital wisdom, strength, and resistance to temptation.

Maybe airports can cancel flights but our God will never cancel the promise he made to Abrahams descendants.

We are Abraham’s descendants.

Trust God to provide!

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow’s post.  Daily there is a new post.

DAILY MARITAL GRATITUDE

God desires that we be grateful for every day that passes.

His desire is that we use everyday to ENJOY our marriage and to gather wisdom to make everyday more understanding than the day before.

Psa.90:12 “So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.”

Do we treasure each day?

CASE AND POINT:  There is a garment which is a mobility restricting bodysuit called a Third Age Suit.  It was made to show the loss of mobility which can occur in the aging process or other clinical conditions.  It also gives you a better understanding of the mental aspects.

Everyone is aware that old age brings physical loss but it also includes loss of independence, self-esteem and pride.

There are many questions as to why God designed our bodies to DETERIORATE but it could be that some people live as though this world is all there is.

The only one who lives forever is God, EL OLAM.

OLAM is a Hebrew word translated “eternal” or “everlasting”.

EL OLAM has the meaning “Eternal God” or “Everlasting God.”

This knowledge in our marriage should cause a reaction for us to be humble and stay focused.

Focused, because every day matters and humble, because we realize our limitations.

Old age is a blessing in disguise because the physical decline presses us TOWARDS God.

Jesus assured us that there is eternal life in John 3:16.

The eternal God, EL OLAM, wants a people that he can eternally love.

Live your marital life as in a way that expresses heaven as your true home.

Realize that God’s promises for our marriage will NEVER fail us.

Praise God for your husband’s limitations and yours.

Are you running out of STRENGTH in your marriage?

Are you running out of power in your marriage?

God GIVES strength to the weary and power to the weak.

If you feel that you have a weak marriage you can ask the Holy Spirit to fill it with His power.

Thank God for everything that is working well in your SPOUSES body.

Thank God for everything that is working well in your body.

Stop complaining about the areas in your marriage that are FRUSTRATING.

Start being GRATEFUL for the areas in your marriage that are strong.

Do something productive in your marriage today because you won’t be able to ever relive it again.

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow’s post.  Daily there is a new post.

MARRIAGE EVENT PLANNER

Every marriage has an “event planner.”

I am not talking about a “wedding planner.”

This is an event planner to guide your marriage to be successful in the future.

The name of your “event planner” for your marriage is EL SHADDAY.

The Hebrew EL SHADDAY, is translated “God Almighty.”

God’s covenant name EL SHADDAY, “God Almighty”, what does it mean in your life?  Nothing can prevent God Almighty from carrying out His plans for your life or prevent him from pouring out His blessings into your life.

There are many wives who feel that their spouses have ruined their lives.

Many wives feel that had they married “Prince Charming”, surely things would turn out better.

The devil is lying to you sister, Big Time!!

You need to know God as the ALL-POWERFUL God which nothing is impossible for him.

Just like he told Abraham in Gen.17:1-2, he is telling you, “I am God Almighty (El Shadday); walk before me and be blameless.”

As long as you follow God, there is no power on heaven or earth that can hinder his plans for you.

Just like God made a covenant to Abraham, He has made a COVENANT with you to assist you through the tough times in your marriage.

When you are at your weakest, God can show his strength for you and in you.

When you feel that your marital problems are overbearing, turn in faith to EL SHADDAY, almighty, all-powerful God.

Be confident in God’s ability to bless you and sustain you.

You cannot depend or put your trust in God Almighty if you have a HABIT of worrying about your marriage.

Who has protected you up to now?

Who has SUSTAINED you and fed you up to now?

Who has given you refuge up to now?

God will use anything the evil one throws at you to destroy you, and change it to bless your life if you will TRUSTin Him.

Are you experiencing difficulty in your marriage?

Are you struggling with PAINFUL hurts from your marriage?

Are you confused about the future of your marital status?

God Almighty, EL SHADDAY, is your “event planner.”

He has a plan for your life and He is on your side.

Ask God to ENABLE you to see Him for who He is.

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow’s post.  Daily there is a new post.

HOME SECURITY CAMERA

We have all heard about “home security cameras” that record what is happening in our home while we are gone.  Some are made where you can watch on your phone what is happening in your house at that very minute.

The word “security” has different meanings but basically it is measures taken as a precaution against theft or espionage or sabotage, etc.

People and businesses spend a fortune to protect what they own every year.

Many times when NEGATIVE things happen in our lives and our marriage, we feel so alone.

We feel like nobody knows our sorrows and nobody cares.

The truth is that God knows and he cares about everything that is IMPORTANT to us.

Hagar, a pregnant Egyptian slave, was mistreated by her mistress and she ran away into the desert.  The angel of the LORD came to her at a well in the desert and told her to go back to her mistress and obey her.  Also, that she was going to have a son who would grow and have many descendants.

In Gen.16:13, Hagar named God, EL ROI  “The God who sees me” because she said that she has now seen “the one who sees me.”

The well that she was at, she named it BEER LAHAI ROI which means “The well of the Living One who sees me.”

There is an important reason why I have told this story.

You may be in deep stress involving a problem in your marriage.

There might be something that you cannot tell anyone about and you are in DESPERATION to have it resolved.

This is exactly the position that Hagar was in and God told her to go back to her mean mistress and for her to be obedient to her.

When I first read this, I was so distressed that she had to go back to her master who had violated her.

You have to know that God has a plan to BLESS your life and for your marriage.

If God’s eye is on the sparrow, His eyes are certainly on you.

Never accuse God of abandoning you.

You need to become aware of His PRESENCE in your life.

No one seemed to care about Hagar and her unborn child enough to monitor her progress in the desert—no one but EL ROI.

There is no worse nightmare for a woman than to be pregnant, in poverty, and to be alone in the desert.

God saw the ABUSE Hagar had taken in the past, he pinpointed her exact position in the present, and he saw the future that he held for her.

God knows your past violations, he knows what you are going through now, and he knows the great blessing he has in store for you.

God is always working out His plan for your FUTURE.

God is always extending a helping hand to guide you through the tough times.

You might feel that your spouse is not doing enough for you and doesn’t even care to be SENSITIVE to what you are going through.

Don’t resent your spouse; He is not God.

Let the LORD be your “home security camera”.

Your spouse is not EL ROI, who sees you.

Let’s give our spouse a break and turn to the God who sees us.

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow’s post.  Daily there is a new post.

GOD’S PURPOSE FOR MARRIAGE

THE FIRST THREE CHAPTERS of Genesis provide us with a foundational understanding of God’s purposes and plan for marriage:

*  1:27-28 makes it clear that God made two sexes and that he made us with more than simple biological differences.

*  2:18-23 describes how God created the woman to be a companion and a helper to the man.  Far from being a demeaning term, the word helper is a term God uses for Himself throughout the bible (See Psalm 54:4, Hos.13:9, John 14:16).

* 2:24,25 gives God’s plan for marriage.  A husband and wife must leave their parents, cleave to each other, and begin the process of becoming one in body, soul and spirit.  They should be transparent with each other, naked and not ashamed.

* 3:1-24 reveals Satan’s strategy for fostering rebellion against God and for dividing husbands and wives.

*  3:6 hints at the passivity of
Adam who was with his wife while she was being tempted but who failed to lead by saying nothing.  God holds Adam accountable for this first act of rebellion (3:9).

*  3:7-12 describes how Adam and Eve’s disobedience led to feelings of shame, guilt and fear (v.7-10) and blame-shifting (v.12).

*  3:16  reveals that the consequences of Adam and Eve’s rebellion include pain for mothers in bearing and raising children and a battle for control between a husband and his wife (v.16).  Men will experience suffering in their work because of the ground being cursed by God.

Like the first married couple in history, all of us are living out our marriages in the midst of a spiritual battle like the one Adam and Eve faced in Genesis 3.  Your marriage is not taking place on a romantic balcony, but a spiritual battlefield.  Only through a restored relationship with God through Christ can we begin to live out and enjoy God’s original plan and purpose for marriage.

NOTE:  This article is from “Family Life Marriage Bible”  by Dennis and Barbara Rainey

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow’s post.  Daily there is a new post.

SATURDAY – QUESTION & ANSWER  

Question #1:  What does it mean to have and to hold?

Answer #1:  When we declared our vows, most of us repeated the words, to have and to hold, til death do us part.  But have you ever thought about what it means to have and hold your husband?

To have implies a possession.  It means he belongs to you and she is no one else’s.  Are you fulfilling your sexual responsibility to him?  For frequency?  Creativity?  Have you turned him down more often than you have invited his love?  Do you put his needs before or after those of your children or your work?

To hold means to keep or bond, much like a magnet.  A magnet has the power to pull a polar opposite to itself.  Dennis and I are virtual opposites in nearly every way; it’s what attracted us to each other in the first place.  But I must continue to be a magnet to him if I am to cultivate my relationship with him.  Dennis tells me that I am that magnet whenever I communicate, “I am available.”

This may surprise you, but most men really want their wives to passionately desire them.  And when you express sexual longing for him–whether verbally or non-verbally–most husbands are unlikely to refuse your magnetic power.

NOTE:  This article is from Family Life Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow’s post.  Daily there is a new post.

WIVES ARE FLAWLESS

The word “flawless” means without defect or weakness in a person’s character.

We many times use the excuse that we are not perfect.

This leaves a lot of room for us to excuse ourselves for bad BEHAVIOR.

We were made by a perfect God who made us in His image.

Gen.1:27 “ So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.”

When we look in the mirror in the morning, who stares back?  Someone worn and aged?  Someone who has a nose that is too big or too little?

Or do you see a child of God who is growing daily in his image?

What do you see when you look at your spouse?

Do you see someone who was made in the image of God?

You can be so occupied by your spouses flaws that you miss life’s beauty.

You can miss the beauty of the person that God made when he DESIGNED your spouse.

The word for God in Genesis is “Elohim” which occurs 32 times in that first chapter.

This name given to God “Elohim” , contains the idea of God’s creative power.

He created the heavens and the earth out of absolutely nothing.

God made it all, owns it all, and He can GIVE away it’s fruit to anyone he wants.

Elohim desires to use His creative power in your life now.

Often times we get upset with our spouse because we expect PERFECTION from them.

We expect our spouse to have creative power to solve all family issues, financial problems and any unexpected events.

God has UNLIMITED resources to accomplish his purposes.

So are wives flawless?

God’s Holy Spirit who dwells in us is flawless but our bodies have flaws.

This is why we must ASK God to be Lord of our lives.

Don’t forget that every human life, including your spouse’s, is sacred.

Don’t take God’s earthly blessings for GRANTED.

Don’t take your husband for granted.

Remember that you bear God’s image.

As a spouse, you are a representative of God’s perfect love.

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow’s post.  Daily there is a new post.