18 Mar


NOTE:  I get many questions like the following  I will not write it word for word as it was presented to me.  However, I will answer it in a manner that will help all spouses in a simular situation.

Question #1. My husband is laid off and I am not physically able to work.  I am believing in God and I am speaking words of faith over this situation.  I don’t want to stress my husband out but it is a battle for me.  What are my limits in discussing this with my husband?

Answer #1. Pick an excellent time when you both feel very good and happy.  I want to first give you some good information from a book called “For Women Only” by Shaunti Feldhahn.  I will be taking information from a chapter called – The Lonliest Burden.  She states that through her surveys, she has found that it is a mans mental burden that presses heavily to provide for himself and his family.   78% of men surveyed said that even if their wives made enough money for the family to survive, they still carried the compulsion to provide.  The same way a woman is insecure about her body and there is always a compulsion to loose weight, so it is for our husbands to provide.  The second thing surveyed is for 71% of the men, it is a constant, pressing burden.  This is because it is the core of a man’s identity.  Long hours of work is his way to say “I love you”.  Paul said that a man who doesn’t provide for his family is “worse than an infidel.”  This is how a man feels about himself when he can’t work and it is his fear.

How can a wife relieve the pressure?

1.  They need your belief that this will be resolved.

2.  Offer to do whatever you can to stay afloat.

3.  Do not spend unnecessary money.

4.  Be his emotional support by letting him know he will get through this.

How can you be a support when you need support?  Cast your cares on Jesus.  It is His (Jesus) job to carry the burden.

There is also the other 22% of men who do not care.

Many women marry men who are not working and may not intend to work.  They talk about working, but they don’t look for work.  It is very hard once you are married to admit that you did marry a man that probably will always go from job to job, but never really provide for his family.  If that is your case, PRAY.  I tell woman not to marry a man to change him.  Your husband may have married a wonderful woman that he knew would provide for him.  You can suggest that he be retrained in a field that has openings, but he probably won’t take any kind of labor job.  If he does, it may be for a short period of time in order to show you that he is willing to work hard.

Let this be a warning to women.  Marry a man who is preparing or has a trade and has held down a STEADY JOB for MANY YEARS.  Other than that, you are taking a chance and cannot complain after you are married.

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post.  Daily there is a new post.

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