GET UNDERSTANDING

GET UNDERSTANDING

The book of Proverbs is one of my favorites in the entire Bible because it contains such practical wisdom about everyday life.  One theme that constantly pops up is the tremendous value of becoming a person of understanding.  Take some time to read and consider the teaching of each of the following verses:

Apply your heart to understanding.  Prov.2:2

Understanding will watch over you.  Prov.2:11

Call understanding your nearest kin.  Prov.7:4

A man (or woman) of understanding walks upright.  Prov.15:21

Understanding is a wellspring of life to him (or her) who has it.  Prov.16:22

Understanding is never an end in itself; it is merely a vehicle to wisdom, direction, and to life.  A person of understanding views life and people from God’s own perspective.  Understanding enables you to feel for another person, to identify with his or her struggles and difficulties, and to know what to say and what not to say.

Oh, how we need understanding in our marriages!

In the husband-wife relationship, your level of understanding often determines your level of acceptance.  Having God’s perspective of your spouse and how He designed him to complement you is essential if you are truly going to love him.

At a FamilyLife Weekend to Remember marriage conference a few years ago, I talked to several women who described various problems in their marriages.  One women resented her husband’s schedule.  Another disagreed with her husband regarding how to discipline their children.  A third spoke about how jealous her husband was of the time she spent with her sister.

I gave essentially the same advice to all of these women: Seek to understand why your husband is feeling or acting this way.  Focus on better understanding him, not on the negative circumstances and how you are affected.  By his unwanted actions,  is he communicating some unmet need for affirmation, commitment or loyalty?

Even if you don’t totally understand your mate, give him or her your complete acceptance.  It may be necessary to ask God to help you accept your mate.  Many are living in circumstances that are very difficult and they need God’s guidance and power to be able to love their spouses well.

Why is understand so important?  Because without it, your spouse will feel that you are pressuring him or her to become something he or she is not.  With it, your spouse will sense that you love him or her for who he or she is today, and not for what you hope he or she will become tomorrow.

NOTE:  This article is from the book Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

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