MAKING DECISIONS TOGETHER

MAKING DECISIONS TOGETHER

(The following article was taken from the Family Life Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey)

Early in our marriage, Barbara and I resolved that we would always make decisions together, and if at all possible, we would strive to agree with each other before making an important choice.  The only exception would occur when we reached an impasse after much discussion and prayer.  In that case, I would have the responsibility, as the head of our home, to decide the matter, and whatever happened as a result of following the course of action that I chose, I would assume full responsibility for the outcome.

Some husbands might think (erroneously) that it works best to pull rank with their headship and force their wives to submit to their decisions.  This foolish action violates scripture  and it demeans a wife.  God’s blueprints for marriage teaches that each spouse makes the other complete.  Paul made this very clear, “Neither is man independent of woman, nor woman independent of man, in the Lord.”  (1Cor.11:11). We need each other.

Why would anyone knowingly choose to ignore the other in decision-making?  Two heads really are better than one!  It’s important to realize that she may know something you don’t.  And when is it ever wise to ignore critical information?

On the other hand, some in the Christian community hold that there is no head of the home–a role-less marriage–and that a husband and a wife should share in all decisions equally.  Yet there will be times when you don’t agree, even after days of discussion, prayer, and carefully listening to each other.  In a role-less marriage, who decides, especially on a major decision?

The structure of  responsibility and authority established by God in the home addresses this dilemma.  God’s structure doesn’t limit life for us, but enables us to experience life to the fullest, the way He designed it.  As you will someday experience with your children, structure, boundaries, and rules provide the protection and security that bring freedom, not bondage.

Barbara and I make a lot of decisions every day.  We have learned to consult each other on those decisions where we know that both of us need to talk before making a final decision.  And in that case, as I said, I bear the responsibility for the decision, both the good and the bad.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to assist you in making your marriage a success.