16 Oct


Question #1.

My parents lost custody of me when I was a young child.  I am now married with two children but find myself neglecting my husband to spend time with my kids.  We both work and when I get home, I am so busy with dinner, and household chores.  I neglect to spend quality time with my husband.  Lately we have been arguing constantly and I know it’s because he doesn’t feel that we get enough time together.  I feel my childhood plays a big role in our life because I want my children to have more than I did growing up.  I fail to realize that I have a husband that requires so much of me as well.  My question is, how do I balance everything out and be able to spend that quality time we both want as well as not feeling guilty about not spending so much quality time with my children?

Answer #1.  

There are many different ways of handling this.  The best would be for you to be honest with your observation to your husband.  Let him know you know he has been neglected.  This will touch his heart more than anything to know that God has shown this to you and that you are prepared to rectify it.  You can’t go backwards, but you can promise him it will never happen again.  He can be a part of the solution and help you solve it.

I will make some suggestions that you might be able to implement into your lifestyle.  Try to have a date night at least twice a month.  The more children you have, the more date nights you need.  Don’t take the kids with you on these date nights.  In order not to feel guilty, have a great family night with the kids the day before.

Do not cook every night.  Have a pizza night so you don’t have to cook and clean up.  Cook something that will last two nights.  If you are a perfectionist at housework, don’t be.  Let some things go.

The best thing that you can do for your kids is to give them their dad.  If he leaves the family because of neglect, your children will grow up miserable.  Set your priorities.

Arguing takes two and also takes pride.  Humble yourself.  Listen to your husbands concerns.  It is the only way you can feel fulfilled as a helpmeet.

I have to listen to wives every day who wish they could do it all over again.  They are left with children who are fatherless and regrets.  You are blessed to be able to turn the whole situation around.  Don’t wait till it is too late.

Now is the time!

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