MARITAL DIFFERENCES

(NOTE:  This was taken from a book called “Happily ever Laughter” by Ken Davis.)

MARITAL DIFFERENCES

I married my wife for her good looks-

but not the ones she is giving me lately.

-unknown

At our wedding rehearsal, when the minister said,

“For better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness or in health,” Gail responded,

“I’ll take better, rich and healthy.”

The minister reminded us that it wasn’t multiple choice.

– Dave Veerman

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy.

First, let her think she is having her own way.

And second, let her have it!

-Lyndon B. Johnson

If Laurie, Linda, Michelle and Liz go out for lunch,

they call each other Laurie, Linda, Michelle and Liz.

If Mark, Juan, Franklin, and Paul go out,

they will affectionately refer to each other as

Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut Head, and Snappy.

– unknown

Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed.

Women somehow deteriorate through the night.

-unknown

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

– unknown

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, and she does.

-unknown

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant’s life,

she will save the infant’s life

without even considering if there are men on base.

-Dave Barry

A man has five items in his bathroom:

a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.

The average number of items in a typical woman’s bathroom is 337.

A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

-unknown

A man will pay two dollars of a one dollar item he needs.

A woman will pay one dollar for a two dollar item that she doesn’t need,

but it’s on sale.

-unknown

I’m sure glad my husband (Billy) and I are not exactly alike;

if that were the case, one of us wouldn’t be necessary.

-Ruth Graham

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