30 Jan


Question # 1.  How can we confront one another without being  judgmental or condemning?

Answer #1.  Perhaps the greatest roadblock to loving confrontation is the well-known plank in our eyes.  Such handicapped vision inevitably distorts our relationships.

                Here are five tips Barbara and I have found useful in keeping judgement out of confrontation;

                1. Check your motivation. Are you bringing this up to help or to hurt? Pray about it. When we take the situation to God and He shines His light on us, we usually see our motivation for what it is.

               2. Check your attitude. Loving confrontation says, “I care about you.” Don’t hop on your bulldozer and bury your mate.

               3. Check the circumstance. Pick a suitable time, location, and setting. Don’t confront your mate the moment he or she walks in the door after a hard day’s work, at mealtime, or in front of others.

               4. Check for other pressures. Be sensitive to the situation of others. What’s the context of their lives?

               5. Be ready to take it as well as dish it out. Confrontation can boomerang; there may be some issues in your life that need to be addressed too. If you expect others to listen, to understand, to hear you out and to accept your point of view, then be ready to do the same.

NOTE:  This article is from the book Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

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