KEYS TO AVOIDING DIVORCE – Part 3

                            KEYS TO AVOIDING DIVORCE – Part 3

Tenth Key:  God describes love; make it your daily goal to measure up.

“Love is forbearing and kind.  Love knowns no jealousy.  Love does not brag; is not conceited.  She is not unmannerly, or selfish, nor irritable, nor mindful of wrongs.  She does not rejoice in injustice, but joyfully sides with the truth.  She can overlook faults.  She is full of trust, full of hope, full of endurance.” 1Cor.13:4-7.

Please reread the above scripture passage carefully.  This is God’s true description of love.  How do you measure up?  Love is not a sentimental impulse, but a holy principle that involves every phase and action of life.  With true love, your marriage cannot fail.  Without it, it cannot succeed.

Eleventh Key:  Remember that criticism and nagging destroy love.

“Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.” Col.3:19.  “It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.” Prov.21:19.  “A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.” Prov.27:15.  “Why beholds thou the mote (splinter) that is in thy brother’s eye, but considers not the beam (whole board) that is in thine own eye?” Matt.7:3.  “Love…looks for a way of being constructive.” ICor.13:4.

Stop criticizing, nagging, and fault-finding.  Your husband or wife may lack much, but nagging won’t help.  Don’t expect perfection, or bitterness will result.  Overlook faults, and hunt for the good things.  Don’t try to reform, control, or compel your partner–you will destroy love.  Only God can change people.  A sense of humor, a cheerful heart, kindness, patience, and affection will banish two-thirds of your marriage problems.  Try to make your spouse happy rather than good, and the good will take care of itself.  The secret of a successful marriage lies not in having the right partner, but rather in being the right partner.

Twelfth Key:  Do not overdo in anything; be temperate.

“Every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things.” 1Cor.9:25.  “Love…does not pursue selfish advantage.” 1Cor.13:5.  “Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.” 1Cor.10:31.  I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection.” 1Cor. 9:27.  “If any would not work, neither should he eat.”  2Thes.3:10.  “Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled.” Heb.13:4.  “Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, that ye should obey it in the lusts thereof.  Neither yield ye your members as instruments of unrighteousness unto sin.” Rom.6:12,13

Overdoing will ruin your marriage.  So will undergoing.  Work, love, rest, exercise, play, worship, meals, and social contacts must be carefully balanced in your marriage, or something will snap.  Overwork and the lack of sleep, proper food, or exercise make a person critical, intolerant, and negative.  Constant overeating is a great evil that strengthens the lower nature and dulls the conscience.

Sexual abuses destroy a love for holy things and weaken vitality.  Marriage gives no license to sexual excesses.  Degrading, twisted, or intemperate sex acts destroy love and respect for one another.  A temperate sex life is recommended by the Bible (1Cor.7:3-7).  Social contact with others are absolutely essential.  True happiness cannot be found in isolation.  We must learn to laugh and enjoy wholesome, good times.  To be overly serious is dangerous.  Overdoing or undergoing in anything weakens the mind, body, conscience, and the ability to love and respect one another.  Don’t let intemperance wreck your marriage.

Thirteen Keys:  Respect each other’s personal rights and privacies.

“Love is forbearing…Love knows no jealousy…She is not unmannerly, nor selfish… She does not rejoice in injustice…She is full of trust.” 1Cor.13:4-7.  “Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love and respect one another.” Rom.12:10.

Each spouse has a God-given right to certain personal privacies without explanation.  The right to privacy and quietude when preoccupied should be respected.  Your husband and wife even has a right to be wrong part of the time .  Marriage partners do not own each other and should never try to force personality changes.  Only God can make such changes, and we shall all answer personally to Him on this matter (Rom.4:12). Perfect confidence and trust in one another–no checking up on each other–is absolutely essential for happiness.  Spend less time trying to “figure out” your spouse and more time trying to please her or him.  This works wonders.

NOTE:  This article is from Amazing Facts Study Guide

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.