22 Nov




The desire to be important is the deepest urge in human nature and in your spouse.

Here is a list that will help in finding new ways to make your spouse feel important.


  • Thank him for everything he does and just for being there for you.
  • Be his cheerleader when he has been successful at home or in
  • Take him on a date or getaway without the children.
  • When someone criticizes him, you support him.
  • He wants to be proud to be seen with you so look your best.
  • Be his covering by praying for him.
  • Refrain from giving him the silent treatment.
  • Be respectful even if you are angry.
  • Respect his dignity by not criticizing him in front of others.
  • Watch your words towards him and choose them carefully.
  • Don’t make him feel fearful of being called stupid because he expressed himself freely.
  • Keep yourself in shape and work at it.
  • He is not a mind reader so don’t expect him to be one.
  • Watch TV with him even if it is a program you do not like.
  • When he makes good decisions, compliment him.
  • When he makes bad decisions don’t criticize him.
  • At home or in public, hold his hand.
  • Don’t argue with him over money; Discuss peacefully keeping in mind that he is a hard working man and you are not his mother.
  • Don’t put blame on him when things go wrong.
  • Don’t treat strangers better than you treat him; be courteous.
  • When he says something wrong, give him the benefit of the doubt.
  • When he gets home greet him with a big kiss.
  • Spare him from boring details in a discussion; get to the point.
  • Respond to his sexual gestures.
  • His intelligence is important to him so don’t belittle it.
  • If you have plans, make sure that he has agreed to them.
  • When you do things for him, don’t expect to get a “thank you.”
  • Don’t compare your relatives with his relatives.
  • Be kind to his relatives.
  • Never make him choose between you and his family.
  • If your habits annoy him, work at getting rid of them.
  • Handle him with much care because he belongs to God.
  • When he needs it, help him finish his goals, hobbies and education.
  • Give your husband time to recover when he is in a bad mood.
  • Be a “help meet” to him whenever he needs it even if it is inconvenient for you.
  • When he comes home from work, give him time to unwind.
  • In front of the children, be sure to honor and respect him.
  • When he is tired, keep your conversation brief.
  • Whether he is there or not, brag about him to people.
  • Don’t wear yourself out so when he wants sex, you will be available to him.
  • Allow your husband to be the “head of the house”.
  • Don’t nag or belittle him.
  • Give advice to him in a loving way.
  • Give him specific reasons why you are proud of him.
  • Surprise him with a gift he will really enjoy.
  • When you make a mistake, admit it to him.
  • Don’t make him feel guilty for the time he needs to be alone.
  • Show him you need him in different ways.
  • Forgive him when he offends you.
  • Leave plenty of time to be with him.
  • As often as you can, compliment him.
  • Don’t allow your family members to disrespect him.
  • Stay focused on the things your spouse is doing right.
  • Don’t focus on the things that are going wrong that he does.
  • Be respectful when you talk with him.
  • Look for ways to keep laughter in your conversation
  • Realize that he has feeling also so be gentle.
  • Tell him you like him and you love him.


NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.





  1. Dion November 22, 2011 at 6:46 am #

    Mrs. Nancy,
    As a husband, I agree with your list 1,000 percent! Some may look at the list and think that it is really long and a bit too much but I assure the wives that read this blog that any man would return to you each and every item that you express to him. Not simply a “if you do it for me, I’ll do it for you” but more of “Wow, I see what she is willing to do for me and I must do my best to in return do it for her…and more”. I have always said to myself that I am responsible for making my wife feel special and ensuring that she knows how I feel about her. Never make the love for your spouse an assumption. You should never be able to say, “Well, she knows I love her…I don’t have to say or show it”. The saying, It’s the Little Things fits this blog. Thanks again Mrs. Nancy. I hope that your post are inspiring and healing marriages throughout the world.

    • nancysalazar November 23, 2011 at 3:33 pm #

      Hi Dion! Thanks for your great comment! It is an encouragement to me. My prayer is that the posts are inspiring and healing marriages throughout the world also. I appreciate your prayers that God will use. Have a blessed day!

  2. christina r. November 22, 2011 at 8:58 am #

    When I read this I said WOW, this is a alot to remember, BUT I thought to myself these are things that should be done automatically, I am guilty of taking so many things that I know I can do for granted.

    I love my husband very much and have to be reminded that I have to be very thankful, that the good Lord gave he and I a second chance.

    Sister Nancy… THANK YOU so much for all your time that you invest in each and everyone of us and for showing us how to be better spouses!!!

    We love you and may God Bless you, your marraige, family and all that you do!!!!!

    • nancysalazar November 23, 2011 at 3:39 pm #

      Hi Christina! Thanks for your inspiring comment. I appreciate that you take the time to not only read them but to make an attempt to please God with a godly marriage. I accept your blessing and I also return it with prayers that God blesses your marriage also and anoints your family for His service. Have a blessed day!

  3. Monique November 22, 2011 at 9:18 am #

    This list is great. Gotta work on a few. Thanks for sharing this Sis Nancy. 🙂

    • nancysalazar November 23, 2011 at 3:43 pm #

      Hi Monique! Thanks so much for your great comment. We all have a lot to be grateful for and also a lot to work one. God loves the fact that we continue to strive for Christlikeness in our marriage. Have a blessed day!

  4. L.Lopez November 22, 2011 at 10:25 am #

    I too was given a second chance at my marriage and am grateful for it. This list is a great starting point. I’ll take this list and personalize it to fit my husbands personality (not mine). I know he also needs to feel desirable so a little flirting goes a long way…
    Thank you for keeping me mindful of what’s truly important to God and to my husband! I also want to thank those who posted comments, it’s always helpful to get other’s opinions as well.

    • nancysalazar November 23, 2011 at 3:48 pm #

      Hi L.Lopez! Thanks so much for this encouraging comment. I totally agree that we need to hear comments from others. God will speak to each of us in a different way according to what our marriage needs We each learn as others share what they have learned. Thanks for your wisdom and wit also. Love you!

  5. Dion November 22, 2011 at 10:29 am #

    Just to let you all know that it is inspiring to see that God gave the marriages of christina r. and L.Lopez a second chance. Protect that second chance with all you have. Living on my knees in prayer.

  6. christina r. November 22, 2011 at 2:57 pm #


    I want to encourage you and tell you keep doing what your doing!!!!

    • nancysalazar November 23, 2011 at 3:51 pm #

      Amen!!! Where two or more are gathered, God is in the midst. Even if it is on the computer!!

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