COMPROMISE BRINGS GREATER INTIMACY

COMPROMISE BRINGS GREATER INTIMACY

We all need to know the beneficial ingredients for compromise because we all face disagreements in marriage.

First, your relationship with your spouse needs to be your primary concern.

Marriage is for life, and this is something that you are doing together, not against each other.

God put you together to help you accomplish things through life with each other.

Self-sacrifice aides in marital compromise.

According to Eva Marie Everson in her article for “MARRIAGE PARTNERSHIP”, she writes, “Seeking to know your spouse’s preferences, and being willing to change in accord with those preferences, directs a marriage toward mutual compromise and greater intimacy.”

Phil.2:3-5 “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory;  but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.

Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.

Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:”

This verse tells us to think of others, like our spouse, as more important than ourselves and to give up our own rights for the sake of peace.

These principles are so vital to the marriage relationship.

In an article by “Christianity Today” they presented four teaching points from this verse.

1. With humility of mind, regard your spouse as more important than yourself.
2. Seek to know the desires of your spouse and be willing to give up your own rights for the sake of peace.
3. Humbly communicate your desires to your spouse and be willing to change.
4. Compromise by giving preference to one another in honor.

In Stephen R. Covey’s book “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families”,  there is a chapter called WIN-WIN.

In the book it suggests that we should try to make it WIN-WIN-WIN.  That means that you win, your spouse wins, and then your family wins.

In life it means to seek first the interest of the other, to understand the other person’s needs, wants, and concerns.

Are you constantly having ego battles with your spouse?

Are you more concerned about who is right rather than what is right?

If you both don’t win, then the whole family loses.

Win-win is the only pattern of thinking and interacting that builds a relationship of trust and unconditional love.

Marriage and family are all about “We” not “Me”.

A good marriage and a good family require service and sacrifice.

An independent mind-set will not work in an interdependent relationship.

In her book Lucky in Love: The Secrets of Happy Couples and How Their Marriages Thrive, Catherine Johnson shares her research regarding factors that make marriages happy and long-lasting.

1. Both partners stop being single at heart and become married at heart.  As they become one, they see each other as his or her best friend.
2. They care more about the health of the relationship than they do about winning arguments.  They are self-aware and can hear and evaluate themselves from their partner’s perspective.

Can you see each other as constantly changing and growing and acting in good faith?

If you can keep the end in mind, you’ll have the motivation it takes to always go for win-win.

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