NOTE: The following are questions that have been asked by more than one person.
Question #1. What should a wife do if her husband is physically abusive.
Answer #1.
First, I want you to know that I am very concerned for you. I don’t know the extent of what you are going through but you are not alone.
Second, you are in a very scary and difficult situation. It is not your fault that this is happening.
Third, your husband is at fault and responsible for the battering.
Fourth, you are in a very dangerous situation, try not to deny this! I am concerned about your safety. It can only get worse.
Fifth, it is your decision on where you go from here. Remember that you are not the only one hurt by this.
Sixth, you must admit that this abusive behavior is domestic violence.
Seventh, contact Domestic Hotline (800) 978-3600 or (800) 799-7233.
Your husband can change. It needs to start with you. You are the “helpmeet.” God will help you as you take the steps in the right direction.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!
Question #2. What should a mother do that has a husband who is physically abusive to her in front of the children.
Answer #2.
Many children who witness domestic violence in the home believe that they are to blame, and live in a constant state of fear. Children who are in homes where domestic violence occurs are likely to suffer physical abuse as well. At this part, it is so hard for me to go through these symptoms without not wanting any child to go through this.
PHYSICALLY – they become withdrawn, non-verbal, anxious, guilty, on edge, tired, painful, headaches, stomach aches, irregular bowel habits, cold sores, bedwetting, nervous, short attention span, sick feeling, attention deficit disorder, fatigue, poor personal hygiene, self abuse, and suicidal.
BEHAVIORAL – violence acceptance, nightmares, distrusting of adults, academic failure, school drop-out, secretive and embarrassed of home situation.
EMOTIONALLY – feelings of distrust and affection, become overprotective, anxious, fearful, fear of parent abandonment, worry about safety of parent, grief, shame, low self-esteem, depression, helpless, powerless, aggression, hostility, anger, post tramatic stress disorder, nightmares, and insomnia.
SOCIALLY – desensitization to agressive behavior, anger, worry, feelings of resentment, and isolation from friends.
Ways adults can help children
First, find a Christian counselor for your child.
Second, find a loving and supporting adult to help the child heal and develop resiliency. Hopefully a pastor or someone in your church.
Third, Provide a safe environment that does not include violence in any form. Discipline should not involve hitting, name-calling or yelling.
Once again, contact the Domestic Hotline (800) 978-3600 or (800) 799-7233.
NOTE: Don’t miss tomorrows post. IT IS VERY FUNNY! Daily there is a new post.
LOVE YOUR SPOUSE 
This was the home I grew up in although it wasn’t an everyday thing it happened! And unfortunately as we got older my father turned his anger and blame on us. Even after I moved out and married I still had issues! I honestly would compare the issues to post traumatic stress! My husband would have to wake me up from nightmares and pray for me. It also took me along time to understand that his reactions were not going to be like my fathers, and I didn’t
have to physically defend myself. Through
Christ I have been able to forgive my dad.
Through prayer I have not had the episodes as I
used to, and now whenever I have a dream or
thought I pray for him and thank God for my salvation and the husband/father he’s given me and my children! I have a blessed life different from the one I grew up in because of Christ, and a church family who was always there!
You are a very wise woman. I decided as a child not to marry any one like my dad. I love him, but he left us when I was 13. You did the right thing by searching for a wonderful man. God has blessed you for everything you have gone through. Pray before you go to bed. The evil one can’t destroy your life, so he often plays tricks on us at night. We are behind you in prayer.
I left my husband 6 years ago because of domestic violence. I left home with my 9 yr old daughter and 3 year old son. I left with only 4 dollars in my pocket and nowhere to go. All I could think of was that God had something better for us. I ended up in a shelter in San Pedro. I felt like my whole world was crashing down on me and I felt helpless. My man of God had back-slidden into a world of drugs, alcohol, and violence. I had to let my kids know that God was still in control of our lives and that things would get better. We were fortunate, we had a lot of support. After a month or so I found San Pedro New Harvest and have been there ever since. Eventually my husband rejoined us (after much rehab and counseling). We are now serving God together as a family! He still gets counsel from Pastor Tom on a weekly basis and is a changed man. I’m so grateful that we never gave up on our marriage and that God never gave up on us…He is so faithful, loving, merciful, forgiving…..
Hi L. Lopez! What a powerful testimony. You handled everything correctly. It is weird how you can go through something that feels so terrible, but in the end God will turn it all around if we only trust him. So proud of you!!