LOVE YOUR SPOUSE

DO YOU LIE TO YOUR SPOUSE? 

Studies show that the average person lies several times a day.

In God’s word, He calls lying an ABOMINATION.

In the Greek, an abomination is “something disgusting.”

Prov.6:16-17  These six things the Lord hates…a lying tongue…”

Do you tell your spouse to tell people lies for you like to say that you are not home when you are?

Do you tell “little white lies” just to keep yourself out of trouble?

Do you exaggerate to your spouse things you have heard?

80% of people are not truthful.

The Bible is the measuring tape we must use to determine truth.

In Col.3:9, the word “lie”, in the Greek is talking about any type of falsehood.

In every instance where the word pseudo (lying) is used, it carries the idea of someone who misrepresents who he is by what he does and by what he says.

Is lying to your spouse something that you commonly do?

These believers in the New Testament STRUGGLED with lying.

Each and every one of us have had at some time or another been tempted to lie to our spouse.

Truthfulness is the FOUNDATION to a successful marital relationship.

Quit telling yourself that you are just exaggerating a little!

Lying is an ugly EVIL!!

The bible tells us that the devil is the “father of all lies.”

The devil is behind all lies and God commands us not to lie to our spouse.

Examine yourself to see if you are not INFECTED with the disease of falsehood before you point your finger at someone else.

If you don’t keep your word, you are guilty of lying.

Rom.12:17-21 “Recompense to no man evil for evil.  Provide things honest in the sight of all men.  If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.”

FEAR and PRIDE are many times why we lie.

First, we are afraid of the consequences we will suffer if we tell the truth.

If we YIELD to fear, then we are showing God that we do not trust him.

Second, we are prideful and concerned about what men will say about us.

We often lie because we want the APPROVAL of man.

The bible tells us that out of a man’s mouth will come out what is in his heart.

Matt..15:18  “Those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart.”

It is a very serious matter with God when we lie to our spouse.

Don’t act like it’s not a “big deal” and you can lie to your spouse.

IT’S AN ABOMINATION!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage to be successful.

ARE YOU BETTER THAN YOUR SPOUSE?

If you let pride enter your heart against your spouse, you are in danger of falling into temptation.

Someone who is proud is said to be “haughty.”

One of the things that God hates is a proud (haughty) look.

Prov.6:16 “These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look…”

A spouse with haughty eyes is when you exalt yourself above your spouse and are looking down on them.

Are you someone who gets on your “high horse” against your spouse?

We say that a proud person “looks down his nose” at others; do you do that to your spouse?

Are you arrogant and act “stuck up”?

When David’s heart became prideful, the devil stirred him up to number the people.

In 2Sam.24:15 says that the consequence was God sent a pestilence and 70,000 men died in three days.

Pride keeps grace from striving.

“God resists the proud and gives grace to the humble.”

You may look down on your spouse for many different reasons.

Pride causes you and your spouse to be DISTANT, whereas, humility draws you to be close.

In order to keep you from being proud, God may let you fall into the enemies hands for a while, so you will be cured of your swelling.

2Cor.12:7 “Lest I should be exalted, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to buffet me.”

What does the enemy use to make you act prideful around your spouse?

Check your heart for any BRUISES.

Psa.12:3 “The Lord shall cut off all flattering lips, and the tongue that speaks proud things.”

Prov.21:4 “A high look, and a proud heart, and the plowing of the wicked IS SIN.”

Let the Holy Spirit dig into the deep, secret part of your heart and dig out that bruised part and make it new again.

God hates pride in your marriage because pride is a MARRIAGE KILLER.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help make your marriage a success.

 IS YOUR MARRIAGE A HOLY INSTITUTION?

When a wife desires to glorify God with her life, then her mission brings blessings to her household.

God is a God of details and of order.

We learn that all through the old and new testament.

When he created marriage, His “holy institute” (Malachi 2:11) “which he loves”, he placed and positioned an order.

The order for marriage is the husband as the head of the house, the wife as the keeper of the household and then the “godly offspring”(Malachi 2:15).

In Titus 2:5 says, “be…subject to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”

The Greek word for “being subject” is HUPOTASSO.

Wives, at this point you are saying, “I could care less what “hupatasso” means.

YES!!  You care if you will “listen up” for a minute.

HUPO means “under.”  TASSO means “arrange in orderly manner, assign a certain position or task.”

Paul is saying, “Wives, place yourself in a position of being in submission to your husband who is in authority over your family.

SUBmission is a mission!

It is a mission to allow God’s order in our home and to teach our offspring to be Godly.

Eph.6:1 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”

This word “obey” is commanding children to obey their parents.

Hupotasso is a choice the wife makes as her husbands equal, to put herself underneath her husbands direction to keep order in the home.

Hupatasso is a military terms describing soldiers on the battlefield obeying authority to facilitate effective warfare.

In other words, it is the wife who makes her home free of the enemies devices as she lines up and does her best when she is supporting her husbands agenda.

Submission is a spiritual attitude.

Women are good at having ATTITUDES.

Let’s be known by our children for having a “spiritual attitude” in our home.

Do it not because you have to obey your husband, do it because you are sold out for Jesus!!!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

REWARD FOR BEING KIND TO YOUR SPOUSE 

Are you helpful to your spouse in deed and with advice?

Is your conversation PLEASING?

Titus 2:5 “Be good…that the word of God be not blasphemed.”

The Greek word for “good” is AGATHOS.  

AGATHOS refers to that which is “good”.

This would be a person who is beneficial to others.

When you are good and kind to your spouse, God MULTIPLIES it a hundred times.

“…other seed fell into the good (agathos) soil, and grew up, and produced a crop a hundred times as great.”  Luke 8:8

Yes, God multiplies your good deeds ONE-HUNDREDFOLD!

It is said that in a persons mind, one bad deed takes 20 good deeds to cover it.

That means that every time you hurt or upset your spouse DELIBERATELY, it takes 20 good deeds before he forgets about the one mean action.

That is the way the brain works.

That is not the way it is with God because he will bless the GOOD DEEDS in our life a hundred times over.

That is the God that we serve!!!

Goodness comes from a place in your HEART.

We are to be sympathetic, considerate and gentle, even when you feel your spouse is undeserving.

When you are KIND you are being like Jesus.

Paul said in Eph.4:32  “Be kind (agathos) to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.”

Has your unkindness, or hard-heartedness made your marriage better?

Has your unforgiveness brought peace and love into your home?

Has MEANNESS to your spouse brought the presence of God’s Holy Spirit right into your home?

Ask yourself how you would feel if God treated you the way you treat your spouse.

God brought you into your spouse’s life to be his greatest SUPPORTER.

Our job is not to be the corrector or boss.

Remember that you are the cheerleader, not the COACH!

CASE AND POINT:  When most people think of the kindest person, most will think of Mother Theresa.  Her life is one of a person who whole-heartedly showed kindness to everyone.  She went to the poor and dying with her love and compassion.  Below is a quote from her.

Mother Theresa:  “At the end of our lives, we will not be judged by how many diplomas we have received, how much money we have received, how much money we have made or how many great things we have done.  We will be judged by “I was hungry and you gave me to eat.  I was naked and you clothed me.  I was homeless and you took me in.”

Mother Theresa died in 1997 and the following has been said of her world-wide: “Her works and mercy knew no boundaries.”

Is it really so hard to show goodness and kindness to your spouse?

Mother Theresa said, “Each one of them is Jesus in disguise.”

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

FREEDOM FROM CRIPPLING FEAR

    HOW DOES FEAR SHAPE YOUR response to life’s difficult moments, especially in the family?

Fear pushes some to procrastinate and put off decisions they know they should make. Others erect barriers to keep anyone from truly knowing them. Still others are controlled by a fear of failure. Finally, fear drives people away from God. Some men and women refuse to surrender to God and His will, fearing what He might require of them.

So what is the best antidote to this kind of crippling fear? Hear what Isaiah  says, “Say to those who are fearful-hearted, “Be strong, do not fear! Behold, your God will come with vengeance, with the recompense of God; He will come and save you” (35:4). The best antidote to crippling fear is prayer and total surrender of your will to Jesus Christ.

How many things do you really need to worry about? None. Instead, you should entrust your situation to a loving and almighty God. Your Lord wants you to approach Him with an attitude of gratefulness for who He is, what He has done, and what He will do. As you pray and yield your life, marriage, and family to God, and as you learn to “be anxious for nothing” (Phil. 4:6) and begin “casting all your cares upon Him” (1. Pet. 5:7), God will begin to replace your fears with faith.

NOTE:  This article is from the book Family Life & Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

THE TROUBLE WITH THE 50/50 PLAN

     All husbands and wives have expectations of how the relationship should work. Often, they assume, “My spouse will meet me halfway.” Over the years we’ve heard couples talk about having a 50/50 marriage. “You do your part,” the thinking goes, “and I’ll do mine.” But while this concept sounds logical, couples who try to live it out are destined for disappointment. One reason why is that we focus more on what the other person is giving than on what we are doing. So we withhold love until the other person meets our expectations. Of course, it’s impossible to know if a person has ever met you halfway. As Thomas Fuller said, “Every horse thinks its own pack heaviest.”

     Early in our marriage, we tried this plan. I would give affection to Barbara only when I felt she had earned it. Barbara would show me affection and praise only when she thought I had held up my end of things.

     Contrast this with the type of love God shows for us. No matter what we do, He gives us 100 percent. He gives us love even when we don’t deserve it!

     So I propose that couples adopt the 100/100 plan in marriage. Under this plan, each person gives 100 percent … no matter what the other person does.

NOTE:  This article is from the book Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

WHO IS THE HOUSEHOLD MANAGER?

A wise husband will allow his wife to manage the household because this is her ministry.

I am not saying that she should be the head of the house, I am talking about being a MANAGER of the household.

This is her ministry.

This is her calling in life and she is GREAT at it!

“…be a homemaker…that the word of God not be blasphemed.”  (Titus 2:4)

The Greek word for “homemaker” is OIKOUROS.

The word “Oikouros” translated, carries the meaning of “watching the house, of a watchdog.”

These words make reference to being a guard, guardian, a watcher, and a warden.

A wife’s business should be to guard and guide her house.

CASE AND POINT:  One of the big attractions in England is for people to go to London and watch the guards at the queen’s palace.  You and I both know that we would expect guards there.  But my husband was invited to go to Mexico City and speak to many senators and governors over there concerning teen violence rehabilitation.  We went to eat at a restaurant that seemed like our equivalent of a “Dennys.”  While we were having lunch, I asked one of the senators why they had guards at the doors with machine guns.  He told me that the guards were not there to protect the restaurant.  Those were personal guards of people who were inside eating.  I was totally shocked.

After I remembered reading statistics that Mexico City had a high rate of “abductions” for ransom or killing.

When I read this verse I always think of this experience.

You and I might think that being called to be the “guardian” of your home is not a big deal.

To God, it is a high position.

Everything God DOES is for a reason and a purpose.

Those people in Mexico City who hired those guards expected them to keep them and their family safe!

God expects the wife to be his “watch dog” over the family!

What kind of a “watch dog” are you?  Lol!

God told Adam to be the guard over the Garden of Eden.

God told the CHERUBIMS with a flaming sword to be a guard over the tree of life.

Don’t take your ministry lightly.

He has equipped you and expects you to keep that home HOLY.

Start with prayer and end with prayer!

Your spouse and family are WORTH it.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

ETERNAL PUNISHMENT FOR SEXUAL IMMORALITY 

A Christian wife is to be true to her husband in mind, heart and in her actions.

“…be chaste…that the word of God may not be blasphemed.”

Chastity is a must in our lives in order not to blaspheme the word of God.

In the Greek, the word “chaste” is HAGNOS.  It means modest, clean, pure and perfect.

Modesty is a healthy sense of shame in what you say, do, or how you dress as not to cause a man to lust.

Many expose themselves to FATAL temptations by an action that at first might seem like a little indiscretion.

Remember that we serve a God who is into detail.

If you are in doubt as to something you are about to do, or say, or wear, ASK  God.

Prov.2:11 “Discretion will preserve you; understanding will keep you from the evil way.”

Discretion is to know how to avoid embarrassment or distress; also judging wisely.

In 1Tim.2:9 the Apostle Paul says, “I want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.”

Paul wasn’t criticizing trendy fashions, he was letting them know that the more important thing is glorifying God with their dress and deeds.

1Pet.3:3-4 “Your beauty…should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.”

The bible has elaborate descriptions of seductive power of sexual temptations.

1Cor.6:18 “Flee from sexual immortality.  All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.”

These are important warnings and we should not take them lightly.

Better yet, we should not be tempting the opposite sex with IMMODEST behavior.

Let’s look at the eternal punishment that God has placed in his word for us to learn.

In Rev.21:8 the “sexually immoral” are placed with the cowardly, the unbelieving, and the murderers, who will be cast into the lake of fire at the end of the age.

Once again, God is a God of detail.

Just like the craftsman who carved out the details in the tabernacle to the specifications of God, God has done for us through His word.

He didn’t put it there for a nice READ.

He put it there to change our life and keep us from eternal damnation.

Don’t BLASPHEME  God’s word!!

Be pure, moral and chaste.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed

 YOU CAN DESTROY YOUR SPOUSE 

In the book of Titus we are told that if we are not discreet or sensible, that we blaspheme Gods word.

You may not INTENTIONALLY want to blaspheme Gods word, but there may be times that you do, especially in your marriage.

That is why it is important for us to read Gods word daily so that we have wisdom and guidance to live according to His word.

“Be discreet…that the word of God may not be blasphemed.” Titus 2:4

The word “discreet” is SOPHRON.  SOZO means “save”.  PHREN means “mind”.

So discreet means “a saved mind.”

The Apostle Paul is telling us wives that we had better have a “saved mind” or we will blaspheme Gods word and that will bring destruction to our marriage.

Your saved mind should lead to right thinking and right decisions.

A “saved mind” leads to right living and a healthy marriage.

You should avoid extremes.

It is easy for us to “Minor on the majors, and major on the minors.”

In other words, we can easily make a big deal out of nothing and totally avoid issues that can destroy our spouse.

Wrong outlook LEADS to wrong outcome.

Do you have the right outlook on your ministry at home?

Can we ASK your husband and children?

Can we ask your in-laws and co-workers?

If you are a sensible (discreet) Christian wife, you will be in control of your mind.

Don’t allow distractions to gain your attention and push out your spouse.

Know your priorities and be DEVOTED to them.

Place your spouse in your priorities.

I will give you some assistance.  Your spouse should come right after God on your priority LIST.

Avoid things that are foolish and unproductive.

Ask God to help you by going into the “secret places” in your heart.

Self-control is what is needed.

We demand our children to use self-control and we DON’T do the same.

On a daily basis, our “SELF” produces desires that should be denied.

Luke 9:23 tells us we should “deny self.”

Luke 13:24 says, “…strive to enter through the narrow door…”

The Greek word for strive is “agonizesthe” which has the word “agonize” in it.

Are you agonizing to be discreet, sensible and self-denying to your spouse?

How can you produce “self-control” in your life?

Let’s see what God’s word says.

“The grace of God has appeared…instructing us to deny worldly desires.” Titus 2:11

Rather than agonizing in our shame, let’s agonize to deny ourselves and become a better spouse.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage to be a success.

GOD HATES YOU SLANDERING YOUR MATE

Satan uses bait to get us into his pit of unforgiveness.

Just like fisherman use different bait for different kinds of fish, the ENEMY knows what to use on each and every one of us.

Do we have a chance against his strategies that have worked for centuries?

NO!  But Jesus has made a way for us.

He has left us His word and His precious Holy Spirit for wisdom and guidance.

What does God’s word say?!?

1Pet.3:9 “Not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit a blessing.”

The word “reviling”  in the Greek means SLANDER.

Paul is talking to married people.

These people Paul is talking to considers himself victimized, oppressed, mishandled, harassed, violated, defiled, imposed upon wrongly, debased and humiliated.

In spite of how they feel being violated by their spouse, he still tells them not to slander their mate.

“Slander” is one of the things God hates.

Luke 17:1  “Then said He unto His disciples, it is impossible that no offenses will come…”

This is a warning, we will definitely be offended by our spouses at some time or another.

God is trying to give us insight because satan will use bait as an opportunity to receive God’s “divine power”.

Are you listening??????   Listen up!!!

Verse 17 is giving you insight and your not listening??  Why??

The enemy plays for keeps and he is dying to trap your marriage and destroy your destiny.

The enemy is paying ATTENTION how about you?

How do you forgive insult and injury?

This is your opportunity to receive Gods “divine power.”

Forgiveness was the force that kept Christ on the cross.

FORGIVENESS IS POWER!!

Nothing takes more “divine power” than forgiving someone including your spouse.

Forgiveness is the ability to withstand the gates of hell.

That is why verse 9 calls it a “Blessing” to forgive.

Bitterness and unforgiveness must be dealt with all the way to the root or they will spring up over and over again.

Forgiveness is God’s “divine power” being manifested through you.

It’s your choice.  BAIT or “divine power”.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to make your marriage a success.