LOVE YOUR SPOUSE

SECRET WEAPON FOR SPOUSES

The expression you wear on your face for your spouse is far more important than the clothes you wear to look nice.

Prov.15:13 “A merry heart makes a cheerful countenance…”

Smiling makes you more attractive to your spouse.

It is better than walking into your house looking like you are in a  ZOMBIE-like state!

Your spouse will be drawn to your smiling face because people want to figure out what is so good.

Your smile draws your spouse IN.

Smiling lifts the face and makes you appear younger.

It takes more ENERGY to ignore and pretend to be very serious, than it is to smile at your beloved.

A smile is an inexpensive way to change your looks.

Prov.17:22 “A merry heart is good medicine but a broken spirit dries up the bones.”

Smiling relieves stress because it prevents us from looking tired and overwhelmed.

STRESS can really show up in our faces.

Your immune function improves possibly because your more relaxed if you smile.

When you smile, it is a NATURAL drug.

Studies have shown that smiling releases endorphins, natural pain killers, and serotonin.  These three make us feel better.

When you smile at your spouse, it makes you more APPROACHABLE.

Your smile is welcoming and your spouse will be more at ease around you.

Your smile to your spouse can be CONTAGIOUS.

Be completely pleased to see your spouse.

It can change your spouse’s mood after a long hard day and it doesn’t cost you anything.

Your secret weapon is your SMILE!!

Smile – it’s the next best thing you can do with your lips.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

GENUINELY BE INTERESTED IN YOUR SPOUSE

There are ways to make your spouse like you and one of them is to be genuinely interested in them.

Morning, noon and night your spouse is interested in HIMSELF.

Phil.2:4 “Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.”  KJV

“Look out for the interest of others and not only for your own personal interest.”  NSB (New Simplified Bible)

Statistics show that it is easier for you to make your spouse a friend in two months by becoming genuinely interested in him than you can in two years trying to get him interested in you.

Spouses, it’s alright to do things for your SPOUSE that requires your time, energy, unselfishness and thoughtfulness.

Listen to what your spouse likes and take them a gift of something they will enjoy.

Listen for CLUES of what your spouse is interested on and initiate a conversation on the topic of his interests.

If you want to know what your spouse is interested in, have a Bar-B-Q and invite your spouse’s friends.  Listen to their conversation and you will learn their favorite topics.

In Meriden, Connecticut, a survey was done to see what subjects adults were most interested in studying.

The result of the study was that their first interest was Health.

The Second interest was in people:

How to understand and get along with people;

How to make people like you; and

How to win others to your way of thinking.

The authors sole purpose of his survey and book was to help readers discover, develop and profit from their physical and mental resources that are dormant and unused assets.

CASE AND POINT:  There was a time in my marriage when I felt like I didn’t have anything of interest to contribute in trying to open communication with my husband.  I decided that the only way I can have a conversation that would prompt his interest was to ask a question on one of his favorite topics.  When I did that, he opened up and kept talking.  I felt like I had really accomplished something in our marriage.

This may seem very hard and strange at first because it takes us out of our “comfort zone.”

It stretches us to talk on a subject that we not only know nothing about but we are also not interested in it at all.

God will bless your EFFORTS.

Anything you do to improve your marriage, the Holy Spirit will get in the middle and anoint it.

It has happened to me over and over again.

Marriage isn’t for babies, it’s for adults.

You will get on the ground and play with a silly toy just to bond with your child and see a smile on their face, yet you don’t take the time to make conversation on a topic your spouse loves.

What are you WAITING for?

I’m glad I didn’t wait.

Don’t lose out on this daily opportunity that won’t come back again because of your PRIDE.

Just ask a widow!!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

THE BLESSINGS OF OBEDIENCE

OBEDIENCE TO GOD is one of the major themes in the Old Testament.  God promised his people, through Moses, that they would receive a “blessing, if you obey the commandments of the Lord your God which I command you today” Deut.11:27).

God gives spouses the responsibility of praying for each other.  When we do that, we obey what God wants us to do and we call on Him to give our mates the strength it takes to walk and live in obedience.

James 5:16 says, “The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.”  Effective prayer is asking God to do what he already wants to do in your mate’s life.  God delights in answering such prayer, because He wants you to know Him, to see Him work, and to continue to come to Him.

Come before God’s throne on your mate’s behalf, requesting that he or she will know God’s love more fully and that God will develop a teachable, pure heart within him or her.  Pray for an increased desire to obey and follow Christ.  Ask God to give your mate a growing awareness of the benefits of walking with Him.  Ask, too, that faithfulness, contentment, patience, self-control, discipline and other godly virtues will be developed in the life of your loved one.

NOTE:  This article was taken from the book “Family Life and Marriage Bible” by Dennis and Barbara Rainey

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

 10 WAYS TO PROPOSE MARRIAGE  “USING FACEBOOK”  

  Share a video proposal – Create a video of your proposal, down on one knee and the ring in hand. Then post the video on the facebook wall of your sweetheart. Hopefully, she will be the first to view it, and no one else will spoil the surprise

   Note proposal – Write up your proposal on a facebook note and tag the lady in the note that the proposal is meant for. You can share it further after she responds with the affirmative, but keep that initial tag just for her.

    Upload a photo of the ring – Upload a photo of the engagement ring and tag the lady as being in the photo. A simple, “Will you marry me _____?” as the title of the photo, should complete the proposal.

     Sweet and simple – Why make it complicated? You could just message her or post on her wall. You could even do this with your phone while you are both sitting in the room and watch for her reaction when she reads it.

      Request relationship status change – Make the proposal a little more subtle by requesting that she change her facebook relationship status to ‘engaged’. You might add a little, “I will, if you will,” note to that.

       Change relationship status – Another version of the relationship change would be for you to change your own relationship status to engaged, and then ask her if she’s willing to make the leap to the next tier with you.

       Event invitation – Create a facebook ‘event’ for an engagement party, and invite only her. Then you get to wait for her response of ‘yes’ or ‘no’ or the miserable ‘maybe’.

        Fiance list – You probably have a family list and a friends list on facebook. You might even have other lists, such as co-workers and acquaintances. You could create a special ‘fiance’ list and add her to that list, and then ask her if she approves of the list you’ve put her on.

         Poll question – You can create these great polling questions on facebook. Why not create a proposal poll?  Will ____ marry me? Yes – No – Of course!

Share jewelers website – Locate the website of your local jeweler and post the link to the site on her facebook page and ask her if she’d be willing to meet your there to do some shopping or if you should just pick out the ring yourself.

This article is from an unknown author

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

SEEKING MARITAL HARMONY IN CHAOS

There will always be conflict in your marriage, your family, your workplace and in your church.

Chaos doesn’t create a marital relationship where you can safely express your FEELINGS.

In Proverbs, God states that he hates disunity

Prov.6:16-19 “…the Lord hates…he that soweth discord among brethren.”

Prov.10:12 “Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all transgressions.”

A spouse that hates, makes a bad situation worse.

Wicked actions from a spouse can SOW discord when they disrupt the harmony, unity and peace within a marriage.

A chord in music is any harmonic set of two-three or more notes that is heard as if sounding simultaneously.

Music was first created in heaven.

Harmony is a must in music in order for the sound of every note to be heard as one.

God uses that same principle in our marriage.

When you stir up your passions AGAINST your spouse, you are alienating affections from your spouse.

Take every opportunity to promote unity and agreement.

God loves UNITY in a marriage.

Matt.5:9  “Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.”

If “…blessed are the peacmakers”, then CURSED are the peace-breakers.

If peacemakers are the children of God, then peace breakers are the children of the devil.

Rom.16:17 “…mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them.”

Are you a spouse that is willing to disrupt peace in your home in order to accomplish an evil desire?

The bible not only tells us God HATES discord but to not have anything to do with them as if they were witches or murderers.

Deut.27:24 “Cursed be he that smiteth his neighbor secretly…”

The enemy will tell you that you have wasted seven years married to the wrong person.

Being married to someone for seven years is not a waste of time; it is an INVESTMENT in your future.

The more you invest, you will get a return on your investment.

WHY?  Because God is a giver!

You serve a God who sees everything and “He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek him.”

“Where there is envy and strife, there is confusion and every evil work”.  (Jas.3:16)

EVERY EVIL WORK!!

Do you really want to be an initiator of “every evil work?”

Become a peacemaker right now!!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

REMOVING SCORPIONS FROM YOUR MARRIAGE

How can we make right decisions if we are ignorant of the facts involved?

We CAN NOT!!

That is why when God told us the things that He hates he said a “lying tongue.”

In Proverbs, God added to that another element of lying.

Prov.6:16-19 “… the Lord hates…a false witness that speaks lies…”

Here we see a specific type of lying—a false witness.

A false witness is a person who commits PERJURY, accusing an innocent person of something that they didn’t do.

Judges make decisions that effect people’s lives–many times dramatically.

If judges receive lies by witnesses, how can they render a JUST decision?

Truthful evidence is what judges depend on to be given to them.

The ninth commandment states ,“You shall not bear false witness.” Ex.20:16

False witness about your spouse has sins that bring strong disapproval:

First, Your words

Speaking things that are not true.

Psa. 12:22 “Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord.”

Second, Being a witness

Being a false witness for someone else.

Isa.5:23 “…who acquit the guilty for a bribe, but deny justice to the innocent.”

Third, Swearing to something that isn’t true.

Being a false witness against another.

“Devil is…the accuser of the brethren…”

Have you ever told someone something that your husband did or said but it was not true at all?

Have you ever told a “white lie” to your spouse to cover up for one of your children or siblings?

Have you ever sided against your spouse, swearing that they did something which they were not guilty of?

This type of false witness hurts and offends a minimum of THREE people: the person slandered, the person’s soul who is giving a false report, and the person (or persons) getting the false report.

This is like the venom from a scorpion.

INFORMATION:  There is a dangerous scorpion breed known as “Death Stalker Scorpions.”  This type of scorpion carries the most potent venom.  Androctonus Australis scorpion is the cause of many human deaths.  Most of these fatalities occur in the elderly, the sick, and the youngsters.

When we justify being a false witness about our spouse, we are injecting venom that is carried right into their “life line.”

This will bring death to a marriage faster than you can blink.

False witnessing usually occurs during DIVORCE proceedings.

In Mal.2:16, it is said that divorce bring in a spirit of “violence.”

That means that when you are in a divorce, you will have the temptation to bring a “false witness” against your spouse.

This is a death sentence on all who are involved especially children.

There are NO WINNERS.

Let the Holy Spirit put a guard over your mouth.

Never think because it is your husband that you can do and say what YOU want.

You are to be their “companion”, not their venomous scorpion.

The Holy Spirit desires to do a deep cleaning and restoration in your marriage.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be successful.

ROADRUNNERS DON’T STOP FOR SIGNALS

The word “mischief” means a reckless behavior that causes discomfort or annoyance in others.

This kind of behavior is laid out in the bible as something that God hates.

Prov.6:16-18 “…the Lord hates…feet that be swift in running to mischief”

This describes a person who is quick and without forethought to sin.

Prov.1:16 “For their feet run to evil, and make haste to shed blood.”

If your heart is full of mischievous vapors and fumes, the Holy Spirit will be grieved.

This is entering into EVIL with plenty of energy and eagerness.

CASE AND POINT: There is a cartoon called the “roadrunner”.  As kids, everyone loved it because the roadrunner almost always got away.  He out ran Wile E. Coyote.  He would play tricks on the coyote and then take off and was hard to be caught.  The roadrunners feet were so fast that one second he was there and the next he was gone.

Don’t be lured and entrapped into sinful activity against your spouse.

Do you have a heart that is INCLINED toward evil instead to toward God?

Jesus feet literally took Him from town to town to heal and let people know the kingdom of God was available to them.  (Matt.4:23)

If you run to mischief against your spouse, it will give you a temporary high but in the end it will be the beginning of your DESTRUCTION.

The Apostle Paul wrote that Jesus came so that we too would be “zealous to do good deeds.”  (Titus 2:14)

When you are zealous in “good deeds” toward your spouse, this is a way to express your love to God with a whole heart.

God hates feet that run rapidly to evil.

God made your feet so that you would desire to use them to do GOOD deeds towards others, including your spouse.

If you have sinned in the past towards your spouse, then turn away and run away!

Stop the RECKLESS behavior that causes discomfort and annoyances in your household.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

A FATAL MARRIAGE PLAN

Our God is a God that “hates.”  With God, hate is good.

God hates sin!

In Proverbs and Psalms he lists things he hates.

One of them is in Prov. 6:18 “…the Lord hates…a heart that devises wicked imagination…”

God does watch your heart and your thoughts concerning your spouse.

Remember that the heart is the “command and control” center of a person.

Being caught up in sin “in a moment” is one thing; but it’s another thing when you plot and scheme about what type of wickedness to do to someone.

In the Old Testament, premeditated sins were judged harshly compared to sins committed in the passion of the moment. (Joshua 20).

CASE AND POINT:  There was a story about a wife who ran over her husband’s girlfriend.  This story was all over the news.  What made this story hit all the news stations was the type of woman she was.  She was a wonderful gentle woman.  Everyone who knew her said they had never seen her mad.  She was a very elegant and loving woman.   Well then what happened.  She had been married to her husband for over ten years and had a teenage stepdaughter.  She loved them both and devoted her life to caring for their needs.  She received a call that her husband was having an affair and if she wanted to catch him, she should go to a certain hotel.  The person told her that her husband and his girlfriend had been in the room for quite a while but if she came quickly, she would catch them coming out.  She did not believe it was true but she put her step-daughter in the car and headed for the hotel.  As she pulled into the parking lot, her husband crossed with the girl.  She ran over him twice and killed him with his daughter screaming in the car.  At the trial, her step-daughter testified on her behalf.  She told the court that the woman who ran over her dad in the car is not the woman who her stepmother is.  She told the court that her stepmother was overcome with shock and anger.  The wife cried and said she was so sorry and can’t live with the horror of what she did.  I remember wanting the jury to let her go because I felt many women would have done the same thing under those circumstances.  However, murder is murder and I could not justify it if it were one of my family members.  She was sentenced to prison.

What lowered this woman’s sentence was that she did not premeditate it.

She did not have a history of anger and wicked ACTIONS.

Do you have a history of being angry with your spouse?

Do you pursue things that will be DESTRUCTIVE to your spouse?

Remember that if you do, it will also affect others that are around him.

The outcome will affect you as well.

Jesus’ entire mission was a heart that devised plans that would bring BLESSINGS.

Your mission as a spouse needs to be a heart of love, prayer and encouragement.

God loves a heart that ponders RIGHTEOUSNESS, but he hates a heart that devises wickedness.

Which heart best identifies you as a spouse?

RIGHTEOUSNESS OR WICKEDNESS?

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

DON’T MURDER YOUR SPOUSE

You are to preserve your life and the life of others including your spouse.

Prov.6:16-17…The Lord hates…hands that shed innocent blood”

Not only does God hate murder but the sixth commandment also commands us not to kill.

Ex.20:13 “Thou shalt not kill…”

Whenever there is a murder, the first suspect is always the spouse.

You might be saying to yourself that you would never physically harm your spouse but we are going to expose sins that LEAD to murder.

First, we must not injure our spouse’s name.

It is a great CRUELTY to murder your spouse’s name.

You injure your spouse when you maliciously slander them.

Psa.35:11 “False witnesses did rise up; they laid to my charge things that I knew not.”

Do you talk about your spouse with your family?

Do you tell his family when you feel he had done something you don’t APPROVE of?

What about when you are at work with co-workers or other friends?

Any BELITTLING of your spouse with others, is murdering their name.

Second, you must not injure them in their body.

God made this command to PRESERVE life.

Gen.9:6 “Whoever  sheds man’s blood, by man shall his blood be shed; for in the image of God made he man.”

God made your spouse for him to enjoy and he has a reason and purpose for his life.

The following is a list of EMOTIONS that lead to murder:

Anger produces murder.

Jacobs sons Simeon and Levi murdered and it is recorded in the bible for all to read.  Gen.49:6”…In their anger they slew a man…”

Envy produces murder.

In Gal.5:21, the apostle puts envy and murder together.

Satan envied and murdered our first parents.

Envy first begins by being DISCONTENTED against God then ends in injuring man.

Envy is deep rooted and wants blood to be quenched.

Hatred produces murder.

The Pharisees hated Christ because he was more POPULAR among the people.

Haman hated Mordecai because he would not bow to him and wanted to destroy the whole Jewish race.

You can commit murder in many ways:

• With the hand  2Sam.20:10
• With the mind  1John 3:15
• With the tongue  John 18:30
• With the pen   2Sam.11:15
• By plotting another’s death  1Kings 21:10
• Witchcraft   Deut.18:10
• By having an intention to kill another   Matt.2:8,13
• By consenting to another’s death   Acts 22:20
• Unmercifulness   Deut.24:6

Although this has been a gruesome subject, remember that it starts with our mouth.

If you are HARBORING anger, envy or hatred in your heart towards your spouse, this is the time to let it go.

You are killing your marriage.

You can bring LIFE into your marriage by asking the Holy Spirit to give you guidance and direction.

Ask God to forgive you and become the spouse that you and God want you to be.

Take that FIRST step and God will lead you through the rest!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

PEACE FOR YOUR SOUL

THE CHRISTIAN FAITH is not a bunch of rules and regulations, but rather a dynamic relationship with the living God made possible through the work of Jesus Christ.  You are to “love the Lord your God and serve Him with all your heart and with all your soul” (Deut.11:13).  When we fully grasp that fact, we are well on our way to living victoriously in every area of our lives, including marriage.

Loving God fully is the foundation of a great marriage.   Loving God whole-heartedly means we obey Him, serve Him, and yield to Him.  Totally.  That’s really the only hope that two imperfect people, a husband and a wife, have in truly experiencing all that God has for their lives, marriage and family.  True success in life begins here and flows from this kind of relationship.

Let’s face it–being married isn’t always easy.  There will be conflicts, illnesses, and external challenges.  We need to learn how we fully love God and yield our wills to Him, knowing that He cares for us and that He is causing all things to work together for our good and for His glory (see Rom.8:28; 1Pet.5:7).

The peace and assurance I need to be a good husband and father doesn’t always come instantly; it’s not like flipping on a switch.  In the past, I’ve expected that Christ would instantly give me peace and strength to deal with my problems and needs and pressures.  But I’ve learned that coming to Jesus with open hands is just the first step in a long process of learning from Him and receiving from Him.

NOTE:  This article is from “Family Life Marriage Bible” by Dennis and Barbara Rainy.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.