LOVE YOUR SPOUSE

EMOTIONAL SYMPTOMS OF – PMS

Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS) is a collection of physical and emotional symptoms related to a woman’s menstrual cycle.

According to a study published in the New England Journal of Medicine on January 22, 1998.  Cyclical fluctuations in blood levels  of the female sex hormones estrogen and progesterone play an important role in the syndrome’s onset.  So what may seem to some husbands as the “monster inside” during PMS may indicate the wife falls into the category of severe PMS symptoms experienced by about 2.5% of the female population.

The study provides evidence that cyclical  variations in estrogen and progesterone may lower levels of key brain chemicals, such as serotonin, in some of the women.

Symptoms of PMS usually last for about a week.  The most common symptom is low energy and fatigue. Other symptons are bloating, cramps, craving for sweet or salty foods, sore breasts, swollen feet or hands, headaches, acne and gastrointestinal problems.

Emotional symptoms of PMS are depression, irritability, anxiety, or mood swings.

Do you loose your playful teasing and joking?

Do you loose your carefree joy and instead feel like you are being CRITICIZED?

As hormonal change excels, your self-esteem is affected.

Psa.42:5 “Why art thou cast down, O my soul?  And why art thou disquieted in me?   Hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.”

David talked to himself during his depression.

Romans 12:2 “…be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind…”

You must SET new goals.

Trust in the promises of God.

PMS JOKE:  Definitive Signs of PMS are:

1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You’re adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You’re using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says, “How’s my driving?  Call 1 800 ***-****.”
6. You’re sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.

Keep in mind that only 2.5% of women suffer from severe PMS.

Don’t use that as an excuse to ACT ungodly.

There is never an excuse to pattern yourself after anyone but Jesus.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

UNDERSTAND and APPRECIATE YOUR DIFFERENCES

A handsome thirty-something husband and wife team told me how they finally understood how their differences complemented one another.  The husband explained, “My wife is a prosecuting attorney.  I felt like she prosecuted from eight to five and persecuted from five to eight!

“In the year and a half we have been married, I found out she is a strong woman.  I had hoped I could pressure her to change—if I persevered, I might be able to beat her down.  But I have finally understood that I don’t have to compete with her.  I can let her be who she is, and not feel insecure about who I am.”

That husband has come to understand how he and his wife balance each other.  He realizes he can lead her, even though at times she might challenge him, but that even this is good for him.

Understanding your mate from God’s perspective results in acceptance of his or her differences and beginning to learn how God made that person to complement you.  Understanding produces compassion for your partner.  It will give you insight to lead wisely or to follow prudently.  Understanding builds, oneness by establishing the relationship on a foundation of common insight.

NOTE:  This article came from the book Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

SATURDAY – QUESTION & ANSWER  

Question #1.

What is God’s real purpose for sex?

Answer #1.

The designer of sex, God, has made numerous statements in His Word that describe His purpose for the sexual aspect of marriage.

First, sex is the process He gave  us to multiply a godly heritage.  He commanded us to “be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it” (Gen.1:28).  Some have joked that this is the only divine command that humankind has ever faithfully obeyed!  This, however, overlooks the truth that God isn’t interested merely in a planet full of humans; what He’s after is a godly heritage, boys and girls who grow up in godly homes who love to worship and serve their Creator.

Second, God designed sex for our pleasure.  In fact, Scripture talks significantly more about enjoying the pleasures of sex than it does about being fruitful and multiplying.  Do you think it is mere accident that our bodies have such huge numbers of pleasure receptors on and around the sexual organs?  God designed us this way.

Third, in some profound way, the physical act of two becoming one is meant to echo the eternal and infinite fellowship that the members of the Godhead have always enjoyed with one another.

NOTE:  This article came from the book Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be successful.

HELP FOR MOODY MENOPAUSAL WOMEN

Menopause also know as “change of life” for women is a natural biological event in which the menses stops when the function of the ovaries begins to cease.

‘Change of life’ comes from a Greek word the root word which means “a critical time.”

We will be using some comments from the book, Woman, a formula for victorious living by Lu Ann Bransby.

80 years is the life expectancy for woman today.

Complex hormonal shifts change a girl into a woman at puberty, a woman into a mother during pregnancy, and terminate a woman’s reproductive life at menopause.

Eccl.3:1 “To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven.”

The early signs of menopause mood changes, abnormal vaginal bleeding, and hot flashes.

MENOPAUSE JOKE ON MOODS –

Safety tip: Your safer teasing a grizzly bear than telling a woman in menopause she’s moody.

Joint and muscle aches, urinary problems, and vaginal dryness are some of the late symptoms.

Menopause is God’s creative design for a woman’s body to cease the possibilities of conception.

In a recent BBC news article, “Women are Happier after Menopause”.  It quoted a Jubilee Report where 76% of post-menopausal women said their health was better, 75% said they had more fun, and 93% said they had more independence, and more choice in everything from work to leisure pursuits.

This is a time when women should take care of themselves more than ever before: mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

God ordained changes to be a part of our normal growth.

Psa.56:3 “What time am I afraid, I will trust in thee.”

Remember that you were once an infant, then a pre-schooler, then an adolescent, teenager, adult, wife,  and  now maybe a mother.

Change is growth and God has always been there for you.

Research the best kinds of medical or natural interventions.

CASE AND POINT:  When I went through menopause I started using natural progesterone.  It was like a miracle, taking away all the symptoms.  You can have a doctor test you and find out if you are low on estrogen or progesterone.  I would suggest that you use a natural form of it since the ones with chemicals have side affects.

Don’t forget to exercise and keep a healthy diet which is beneficial.

Challenge your thinking and renew your mind.

Be a blessing to your spouse and family, by taking care of yourself physically.

The Holy Spirit is there to guide you!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be successful.

YOUR HARD WORK BRINGS A REWARD

A boomerang is a curved piece of wood; when thrown, it will return to the initial position from where it came.

Lets view how this boomerang effect impacted the Proverbs 31 woman as we continue on as a “profile peeker.”

“Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.”  Prov.31:31

This is stating that we should give her the reward she has earned and let her enjoy the fruit she has planted.

This is a woman that goes the EXTRA mile and now she is going to be rewarded.

Prov.12:14 “A man shall be satisfied with good by the fruit of (his) mouth: and the recompence of a man’s hands shall be rendered unto him.”

THE MESSAGE:  “Well-spoken words bring satisfaction; well-done work has its own reward.”

What you give out, you will get back.

Heb.11:6  “…he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.”

God is a very generous rewarder.

Eph.6:8 “Knowing that whatsoever good thing any man does, the same shall he receive of the Lord…”

God is watching all the good things that we do in His name and he is now indebted to us to reward us.

He REWARDS us because it is in His word, not because we deserve it.

In Proverbs 2:5-11, there is a list of rewards for obedience.

1.)    Understanding the fear of God.  (v.5)

2.)    Finding the knowledge of God.  (v.5)

3.)    Given knowledge and understanding of God.  (v.6)

4.)    Given sound wisdom of God. (v.6-7)

5.)     Receive true understanding in righteousness, judgment, equity, and every good path.  (v.9)

6.)    Preserved by discretion. (v.11)

7.)    Understand that keeps. (v.11)

“IN THE GATES” refers to a public meeting place where business was conducted, like a city hall.

This shows that this woman was recognized publicly for all the good deeds she did for people.

God wants you known in your community; “…a city set on a hill…” for Gods honor and glory.

It could be assisting in your neighborhood, church, school, work, etc.

God wants us to do our work with zeal. 

Titus 2:14 “…a peculiar people, zealous of good works.”

Do you do “good works?”

Okay, but do you do good works with zeal?

Zeal is a feeling of strong eagerness.

Ask God to give you His heart!

Ask God to give you opportunities to do “random acts of kindness.”

Ask God to put you in a ministry that you are gifted for so that you may excel in it.

The Holy Spirit wants to partner with you to make you the spouse and “good worker” you are suppose to be.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be successful.

WHAT EXTERNAL BEAUTY HIDES

There is a program on TV called “Voice.”  At the beginning of the series, the celebrities have to pick a team of singers.  The catch is that they do not get to see the singers that are auditioning to be on a team.  They only get to hear their voices so their choice of pick is purely on their talent of singing.  After they either pick or reject them, then they get to see what they look like.

It sounds like a great idea to go through life being judged by how we use our abilities and talents rather than how we look.

Everyone is judged  by their looks, especially women.

Lets see how the Proverbs 31 woman dealt with “looks”.

Prov.31:30  “Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.

The word “favor” in Hebrew is chen.  This means GRACEFUL BEAUTY.

In other words, this would refer to a woman that has charm which is deceptive and beauty that is fleeting.

Will “ruby red lips” work?

There are two things said about external beauty: 1.) it is deceitful,  2.) it is vain.

Beauty many times DISAPPOINTS because the outer cover hides the inner deformities.

TV celebrities are often very DAMAGED people with addictions, troubled marriages, and an array of personal problems.

Vanity implies something that vanishes, and your physical body was not made to live forever.

Do you try to use your sexuality or charm and flirting to make you successful?

Don’t use cheap tricks to get ahead rather than the talents God has given you.

Real beauty is impossible to have unless you have the fear of the LORD in your life.

What causes us to draw near to God is the right kind of fear.

The right kind of fear is respect because he is our caring Heavenly Father who is there for us in the time of need.

Prov.1:7 “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.”

True piety alone commands permanent respect and affection.

Are you concerned about what God thinks?  Or are you more concerned about what other people think?

Do you sacrifice godliness for the latest sexy fashions?

A woman’s beauty cannot withstand the trials of life as they take their toll.

CASE AND POINT:  There was a woman that came to our church about 20 years ago.  She was absolutely beautiful.  She resembled a beautiful  actress in the 50’s named Loretta Young.  She left the church, got a divorce, and started using drugs.  About 10 years later she came back to church for a while.  I was shocked when I saw her.  Her teeth had rotted out, her skin was rashed and discolored.  She could barely walk because the drugs had made holes in her bones.  She was totally unkept.  Her hair was not combed and her dress was very shabby.  This did not look at all like the same woman.  I wanted to cry when I saw her.  She had destroyed her life along with her beautiful looks.

The virtuous woman in Proverbs 31 does not depend on beauty and charm to be successful in life.

Choose to age gracefully by realizing that your relationship with the LORD is the most important thing in your life.

With the transforming power of the Holy Spirit, you will truly become more beautiful as each day passes.

Beauty in the HEART puts beauty in the FACE!!!

NO MORE RUBY RED LIPS!!

Put beauty back in your heart right now.

The fear of the LORD opens that door.

Keep fighting the good fight and loving it!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be successful.

YOUR HUSBAND MARRIED THE BEST!

• What is “verbal intimacy?”  It is conversation where each person feels accepted no matter what he or she says, reveals, explains, or feels.  Complete openness to another human; absolute honesty that strips one of all pretension, posturing, and protection so that he can present himself naked and vulnerable to the other.  (By Jim Beam, LovePath International)  He learned in the 1970’s, in a graduate level psychology class,that the most common thing men want from prostitutes is a listening ear.  His searching has found that phone sex callers crave someone to listen without judgment.  Thousands upon thousands of men pay women to listen to them!

Let’s take a look at this Proverbs woman again as a “profile peeker.”  She must have known about “verbal intimacy.”

Prov.31:29  “Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excelled them all.”

The other verses were talking about her, not to her.   Apparently it is her husband who is speaking these words.

This is the husband’s praise in his own words.

The word “virtuously” in Hebrew is Chayil.  It is a force, valor, strength, might and power.

What makes this so special is that this husband had to know that his wife was not the ONLY godly woman around.

In spite of him knowing there are other godly women around, he praises his own wife by telling her that she excels them all.

That sends CHILLS up my back!

He is telling her that she has raised herself above them all and the rest are incomparable.

Stay with me girls as we DISSECT this.

When your husband picked his wife, he married the best.

HE MARRIED THE BEST!!

He married the best!!

To your husband, when he married you, he was convinced that he was marrying a woman that surpassed all others.

You were far ABOVE better than all the other girls he had met.

Your husband found a priceless gem and you were to him a treasure chest.

He married you because you were the best woman in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD.

In his mind, you excelled all other woman.

Has that changed??

Have you changed??

Not to worry!!  You are still the one who excels them all.

You need to STOP right now.  Take two deep breaths.

This part is only for “Women of Valor.”

Ask the Holy Spirit to show you what areas you have changed in, that you should not have.

Where or what does your attention go to?

Where or what does your finances go to?

Where or what does your free time go to?

Who or what do you appear to be enjoying?

Ask the Holy Spirit to show you what AREAS you do need to change in.

PARTNER with the Holy Spirit.

Are you still his brightest crown?

Are you still his best friendly friend?

Are you his COMFORTER in times of distress or do you tell him what a mess up he is?

Remember you are his girlfriend and cheerleader.

Do you use “verbal Intimacy” to make your husband feel accepted?

You can do it!  You did it once before.

You go girl!

That is what he came home for.

He’s in the right house with the right wife.

Ole!!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

GETTING YOUR HUSBAND TO PRAISE YOU

One of the main factors in what makes marriages last in a survey, was that each participant had a higher opinion of their spouse than the spouse had of themselves.

Lets see how this applies to the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31.

Prov.31:28 “Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.”

This is a woman who is honored by her own family members.

There is something special when your own family PRAISES you because they have watched you in every situation and know your true character.

Such encouragement is something that every woman thrives on.

It also reveals what a great character her husband has since he TEACHES his children to appreciate their mother.

You are a blessed woman if your children appreciate you.

CHILDREN usually appreciate their moms when they are little, but as they grow older, they have a tendency to take mom for granted.

Most moms are not fully appreciated till their kids have children.

My husband is a real blessing in my life when any one of my children are not expressing appreciation for something I have gone out of my way to do for them.  He takes that opportunity to tell me how much he appreciates all that I do for his children.

I try not to be a sensitive person concerning my feelings but my husband can tell when I am deeply hurt about something.

Each day brings new opportunities for us to MENTOR and be a part of our children’s lives.

As our children mature they become grateful at how we shaped their lives.

This virtuous woman seeks FIRST the kingdom of God and that is why praises were added on to her.  (Matt. 6:33)

In 1902, the New York Central Railroad used plush crimson carpet to direct people as they boarded their 20^th Century Limited passenger train.  This is believed to be the origin of the phrase “red carpet treatment” according to Wikipedia.

The Proverbs 31 woman, was given the “red carpet treatment” of praises, by her beloved husband and children.

Do those who know you the best, praise you the most?

Do you GIVE loving discipline and gentle guidance?

Is wise counsel on your available lips?

Are you a GODLY example?

If you have invested yourself into those you love, you will be rewarded by them.

There is no GREATER happiness than to have your children and husband reverence you.

If you seek praises as your number one goal, you will never find it.

Woman who SEEK the Lord first, find true praises.

Is your heart devoted to Him?

God SATISFIES the heart that is devoted to him.

FIGHTING THE GOOD FIGHT AND LOVING IT!!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

YOU NEED YOUR SPOUSE

Beware of living independently of one another!  Sure, you’re both busy.  Sometimes, however, busy people build their lives around activities, only to find themselves, years later, all alone.  Such people are so imprisoned by selfishness and a failure to take risks, they live independently of the person whom God has sovereignly given them to share life with.

So what can you do today?  Well, how about a project for you and your mate to complete after dinner tonight?

List on a clean sheet of paper, five to ten specific ways you need your mate.  C’mon now, work at this! Don’t list any of the “vanilla” stuff—laundry, paycheck, meals, and, oyes, sex (unless that would really surprise your mate!).

Once you do that, here are two ways to express your need of your husband or wife (feel free to creatively move beyond these two suggestions).  Using your list, compose a letter expressing your need of your mate.  Or, take a long walk and use the time to share the ways you need him or her.

Above all, do it right—don’t just read your list!  A tender touch and eye-to-eye expression of this will make it more meaningful.  Hold her hand as you read your letter to her.

You really do need your mate.

NOTE:  This article is from the book Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

OVERCOMING DISCOURAGEMENT

We all face times of discouragement in our marriages and families.  So what do we need to overcome discouragement?  What should we do?

First, be truthful with God.  I’ve found that I never fool God through my lofty prayers for the missionaries in Africa, when deep inside I’m hurting.  God is able to handle your emotions of disappointment and being disheartened.  Be honest!

Are you discouraged about a child who rarely reaches your expectations?  Tell God about it.  Disheartened about your mate and an unresolved issue that habitually occurs?  God knows about it already, but pour it out.  Disillusioned with a friend?  Then pray.  Are you questioning God—His fairness, your circumstances, or your unanswered prayers?  Get alone and share your grief  with the One who knows you best.  It’s normal to get discouraged, but it’s not acceptable to stay discouraged.

Second, find the source of your discouragement.  Sometimes it’s a goal that you didn’t attain...again.  Or the problem may be a cutting remark of a friend, the feeling that you’re carrying this heavy burden alone, or the lack of approval by an important person in your life.

By isolating the source of my discouragement, many times I’ve found that I had placed my hope in the wrong person or in the wrong place.  On other occasions, I’ve judged my response to be quite normal— and because  I can’t quit, I’ve need to work through my all-to-human desire to lose hope and give up.

Third, with a heart of faith, look beyond your circumstances and your emotions to a God who will renew you day by day.  Realize that God uses hardship to perfect your faith (Rom.5:1-10).  And recall what He told a disheartened group of Israelites, “Do not be afraid nor dismayed because of this great multitude (or in your case, this great challenge),for the battle is not yours, but God’s” 2Chron.20:15.

My friend, the tomb is empty!  Jesus Christ is alive!  And He is the One who can lift up your heavy hands or your burdened heart.

Barbara and I have concluded that God  has given us a life that will bring occasional times of discouragement and disappointment.  We love the way Philip Yancey put it, “The alternative to disappointment with God seems to be disappointment without God.”  You can handle the uncertainty of life only through a tough, resilient faith in a God who knows what He is doing.

NOTE:  This article is from Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.