LOVE YOUR SPOUSE

PRAYING FOR YOUR HUSBAND

“SHE DOES HIM GOOD..” Prov.31:12a

Bless your husband by praying for him!

The Apostle Paul instructed all Christians to pray for one another (Eph.6:18).  This includes wives’ responsibility and privilege to pray for their husbands.  Earnest prayer for your husband is good for him, for you and the spiritual health of your home (Prov.31:11-12).  Satan desires to destroy your husband, especially his character and his leadership in your relationship.  Trust God through prayer as you daily surrender your husband and marriage to the Lord’s wise, loving care.

31 Days of Prayer

Day 1

Pray that your husband will grow spiritually and consider his accountability before the Lord.  Pray that he will guard his heart by developing spiritual disciplines–bible reading and study, prayer, mediation, scripture memorization, etc.  (2Pet.3:18; Prov.4:23)

Day 2

Pray that your husband’s relationship with God and His Word will bear fruit in his life.  Pray that he will be a man of wisdom and understanding, fearing the Lord.  (Prov.3:7, 9:10; Ps.112:1)

Day 3

Pray that your husband will be humble and quick to agree with God about his sin.  Pray that his heart will be tender toward the voice of the Lord.  (Ps.51:2-4; Micah 6:8)

Day 4

Pray that your husband will grow in leadership skills in your relationship–protecting and providing for you.  Pray that he will lead you wisely and love you sacrificially, so that God will be glorified in your marriage.  (Eph.5:25-29; Col.3:19)

Day 5

Pray that your husband will be faithful to his wedding vows.  Pray that he will have a desire to cultivate your relationship as a sign of his loyalty and commitment to you, and as a picture of Christ’s love for the Church.  (Prov.20:6; Gen.2:24)

Day 6

Pray that you husband will love righteousness and hate wickedness, especially the evils of the culture.  Pray that he will recognize and avoid wickedness in his own life, and if necessary, take a clear, strong stand against evil.  (Prov.27:12;  1Cor.10:12-13)

Day 7

Pray that your husband will safeguard his heart against inappropriate relationships with the opposite sex.  Pray that his heart will be pure and undivided in his commitment to you.  (Prov.6:23-24, 26; Rom.13:14)

Day 8

Pray that your husband will work hard to provide for your family, to the best of his ability.  Pray that the character qualities necessary for a successful career and ministry will be a growing part of his character – persistence, decisiveness, strength, an analytical mind, organizational skills, positive relationships with people, determination, etc. (Rom.12:11; 1Cor.15:58)

Day 9

Pay that your husband handle finances wisely, will have discernment concerning budgeting and investments, and will be a good steward of his money in regard to giving to the Lord’s work.  Pray that money will not become a source of discord in your family.  (Prov.23:4-5; Rom.12:13; Heb.13:5)

Day 10

Pray that your husband will cultivate strong integrity, and not compromise his convictions.  Pray that his testimony will be genuine, that he will be honest in his business dealings, and will never do anything that he needs to hide from others.  (Prov.20:7; 1Tim.1:5, 3:7; Eph.6:10-12)

Day 11

Pray that your husband will have a humble, teachable spirit and a servant’s heart before the Lord.  Pray that he will listen to God and desire to do His will.  (Prov.15:33; Eph.6:6)

Day 12

Pray that your husband will yield his sexual drive to the Lord and practice self-control.  Pray that your sexual intimacy together will be fresh, positive, and a reflection of selfless love.  (Prov.5;15, 18; 1Cor.7:3; Song of Solomon 7:10)

Day 13

Pray that your husband use practical skills to build your family and make wise decisions for your welfare.  Pray that he will serve unselfishly.  (Gal.5:13; Phil.2:3-4)

Day 14

Pray that your husband will speak words that build you and your family, and reflect a heart of love.  Pray that he will not use filthy language.  (Prov.18:21; Eph.4:29)

Day 15

Pray that your husband will choose his friends wisely.  Pray that God will bring him men who will encourage his accountability before God, and will not lead him into sin.  (Prov.13:20; 27:17)

Day 16

Pray that your husband will choose healthy, God-honoring activities.  Pray that he will not live in bondage to any questionable habits or hobbies, but that he will experience freedom in holiness as he yields to the Spirit’s control.  (1Cor.6:12; 10:31; 2Tim.2:4)

Day 17

Pray that your husband will enjoy his manliness as he patterns his life after Christ and strong men in the faith.  Pray for his physical, emotional, mental, social and spiritual strength.  (Eph.3:16; 1Pet.2:21; 1Cor.10:11)

Day 18

Pray that your husband will have an eternal perspective–living in light of eternity.  Pray that he will reject materialism and temporal values and put God first in his life.  (Matt.6:33; Deut.6:5; Eph.516; Psa.90:12)

Day 19

Pray that your husband will be patient and a man of peace.  Pray that he will not give in to anger, but will allow the Holy Spirit to control his responses.  (Rom.14:19; Psa.34:14)

Day 20

Pray that your husband will yield his mind and thoughts to the Lord. Pray that he will not entertain immoral or impure thoughts, and that he will resist the temptation to indulge in pornography.  (Prov.27:12; 2Cor.10:5)

Day 21

Pray that your husband will learn how to relax in the Lord and, in his greatest times of stress, find joy and peace in his relationship with God.  Pray that he will submit his schedule to the Lord.  (Neh.8:10; Prov.17:22; Psa.16:11)

Day 22

Pray that your husband will practice forgiveness in your relationship and with others.  Pray that he will recognize any roots of bitterness, and yield any resentment and unforgiving attitudes to the Lord.  (Eph.4:32; Heb.12:15)

Day 23

Pray that your husband will be a good father–disciplining his children wisely and loving them unconditionally.  If he is not a father, pray that he will find a young man to mentor in the things of the Lord.  (Eph.6:4; Col.3:21; 2Tim.2:1-2)

Day 24

Pray that your husband will have a balanced life–that he will balance work and play.  Pray that he will fear God, but also gain favor with people he knows at work and church.  (Luke 2:52; Prov.13:15)

Day 25

Pray that your husband will be courageous in his stand against evil and injustice, and that he will stand for the truth.  Pray that he will protect you and your family from Satan’s attacks.  (Ps.31:24; Eph.6:13; Ps.27:14)

Day 26

Pray that your husband will discover and live his God-given purpose.  Pray that he will offer all his dreams to the Lord, and pursue only those goals that will bring God glory and count for eternity.  (Jer.29:11; 1Cor.10:31)

Day 27

Pray that your husband will understand the importance of taking care of his body–the temple of the Holy Spirit–for the glory of God.  Pray that he will practice self-control by making wise food choices, and get sufficient exercise to stay healthy.  (Rom.12:1-2; 1Cor.6:19-20, 9:27)

Day 28

Pray that your husband will be a man of prayer.  Pray that he will seek and pursue God in purposeful quiet times.  (1Thess.5:17; Luke 22:46; James 5;16)

Day 29

Pray that your husband will surrender his time and talents to the Lord.  Pray that his spiritual gifts will be manifest in his career, at church, and in your home.  (Eph.5:15-16; ICor.12:4, 7)

Day 30

Pray that your husband will serve God and others with pure motives.  Pray that he will obey the Lord from his heart, and glorify Him in everything.  (1Cor.10:13; John 7:17-18; Col.3:23-24)

Day 31

Pray that your husband will recognize the lies of the Enemy in his life.  Pray that his attitudes and actions will be guided by the truth as he brings his thoughts into captivity to the Word of God.  (John 8:44; 2Cor.10:4-5)

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

A STRONG MARRIAGE NEEDS KNOWLEDGE

Every Sunday morning, thousands of preachers present polished gems—sermons filled with outstanding biblical knowledge.  But what do we usually do?  After the message, we dutifully sing a song, listen to a prayer, and hustle out by noon.

Where do we take the time to assimilate what we’ve heard?  Too often we gather up the kids, grab a bite to eat, and launch into our Sunday afternoon routine.

Even Balaam, a non-Israelite prophet who apparently really did hear from God, understood the importance of acquiring “the words of God, and…the knowledge of the Most High” (Num.24:16).  Such knowledge is more than mere information—it’s a knowledge that results in convictions and applications.  It’s a truly teachable spirit that applies God’s truth and blueprints amidst the raw realities of life.

Many of us need accountability in order to apply what we’ve learned.  We need someone who will break through our self-built fences and our crowded loneliness and ask us if we are applying to our marriages what we’ve learned from God’s Word in our marriage and family relationships.  Do you have a friend who regularly checks up on you?

Balaam, by the way, didn’t  have such an accountability partner– and he wound up on the sharp side of a Hebrew sword (see Josh.13:22).  Learn from his mistake!

NOTE:  This was an article from “Family Life Marriage Bible” by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

HUSBAND GAINS UNATTRACTIVE WEIGHT

This question was taken from “Family Life Marriage Bible” by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

Question:

What can a woman do when her husband gains an unattractive amount of weight?

Answer:  

An important ingredient of any marriage is the need for husbands and wives to please each other.  Obviously, no husband can lose weight overnight; but if he is seeking to please his wife, then he can make an effort to look sharp and attractive.

Pray that the Lord would grant you opportunities to express how you feel in a gentle and supportive way.  Ask if there is anything you can do to help.  Ask God to help you avoid bitterness toward your husband.  Don’t become preoccupied with the negative, but give him some grace, and love him.

Remember as well that while weight does matter, other issues are more important than external appearance.  Ask God to help you focus on the things that matter most–your husband’s spiritual maturity and his leadership of the family and the marriage, character, faithfulness at work and at home.

If the relationship is healthy  and he is meeting your needs and encouraging you and loving you, and you are focusing on what is most important, I think the old statement, “Love is blind,” is true.  Weight issues don’t  have to get in the way.

MARITAL RELATIONSHIP RULE #1

Do you find that many times when your spouse says something to you, you lose control, and say something out of line?

Instead of listening to your spouse’s point of view, you let your anger speak out of resentment, only to REGRET every word later on.

God knows that these occasions will happen from time to time.

He has the ANSWER in His word.

“…let each one of you (husbands) also must love his own wife as himself, and so the wife must respect her husband.”

This verse is the summary statement of the greatest treatise on marriage in the New Testament.

One of the greatest books on marriage is “Love and Respect” by Emerson Eggerich.  This book is a must for every marriage.

Without LOVE,  the wife reacts without RESPECT.

Without RESPECT, the husband reacts without LOVE.

In Emerson’s book he calls this the “Crazy Cycle”.

The wife tells herself that she is not going to treat her husband  with respect till he shows her love by doing what she wants.

Then, the husband tells HIMSELF that he is not going to love her by doing what she wants till she starts treating him with respect.

They go around and around and around with neither one pleasing their spouse.

It may sound silly, but it is not FUNNY at all.

It happens in every marriage and it is a marriage killer.

Pride sets in and now every one  is stuck on “STUPID!”

Does that sound familiar?????  Of course it does.

It only takes one partner to get off the “Crazy Cycle” and the cycle stops.

My husband does not like to argue.

However, there are times that we do argue about ISSUES.

I make it a point every day to be the one to get off the “Crazy Cycle.”

If I feel the conversation is starting to get out of control and neither one of us is listening anymore, we are both talking, I choose to stop.

If you love God and care about your marriage, GET OFF THE CRAZY CYCLE..

You have a choice and you cannot blame anyone else for the chaos in your marriage.

My CHOICE is to respect my husband even if he is not showing love by doing what I ask.

Every day I get off the “crazy cycle.”

What about you??

STAYING  STUPID??!?!?

NOTE: Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

WHY GOD HATES DIVORCE

God’s word says that He hates divorce.

“For the Lord God of Israel says that he hates divorce, for it covers one’s garment with violence…”  Mal.2:16

Divorce breaks the sacred vows and commitment between two people and God.

Two people are madly in love and want to spend the rest of their lives together.

They purchase new furniture for their place and make it comfortable.

Then a few years later they hate each other and want to destroy each other.

They start ruining their furniture and breaking kitchenware along with any equipment.

What happened?

In verse 16 we see the answer to that question.

A spirit of violence enters into the union of marriage.

I have seen this happen over and over again.

Divorce is a funeral that never ends.

Divorce births a spirit of violence.

You can’t believe it is the same couple that was so in love.

Nothing justifies violence towards your spouse.

In Mal.2:11  a marriage is referred to as a “Holy Institution”.

Remember, anything “Holy” means that it is “set apart.”

Anything “set apart” will be attacked by the enemy.

The enemy does not want the kingdom of God expanded or blessed.

Marriage is referred to as an “divine” establishment.

In verse 15 we see why the enemy doesn’t want our marriages united.

But why?

“But did He not make them one?  Having a remnant of the Spirit?  And why one?  He seeks Godly offspring.  Therefore take heed to your spirit…”

That is the answer.

Why did God create marriage?  BINGO!!

He wants godly offspring!

God desires that we have children, raise them godly, and multiply the world.

When we divorce, we destroy each other, our children and our loved ones.

Malachi 2:15 says to take heed to your spirit.

In other wards, pay attention to your “stinking attitude.”

Maybe you don’t care about your marriage but God does.

He has an investment in it.

Start protecting God’s investment today.

He said to be fruitful and multiply.

“TAKE HEED…”

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to make your marriage a success.

THE HOLY SPIRIT IN YOUR MARRIAGE

Do you ever call on the power of the Holy Spirit to be in the center of your marriage.

Married couples forget to call on this help for their marriage.

Every day we encounter problems at our workplace, raising our children, finances and an array of problems.

Most of us have attended a marriage seminar or read an article and told ourselves that we will now work towards the perfect marriage.

The next thing we know, we find ourselves in a debate that ended without a win-win result.

Don’t condemn yourself because all is not hopeless.

Learning marriage principles is great but we need the power of the Holy Spirit if we want a long-term change.

In Malachi 2, it says that marriage is God’s “Holy Institute.”

Anything “Holy” is a target for the enemy.

CASE AND POINT:  One day I was studying on my bed.  My husband was exercising in our garage and was coming up the steps.  As he was coming up the steps, I turned my head and in a flash I saw a demon crouched down in my bedroom ready to attack my husband.  Now I don’t believe Christians can be demon possessed and my husband is a very Godly man.  Good marriages are his major target.  I shared this story in my marriage class.  I thought all the women would walk out and think I was crazy.  After my class was over, one wife came up to me with tears in her eyes.  This may sound funny but she told me that she was so glad to hear that.  She said she feels like her marriage is always being attacked and felt she was the only one.  To hear that a demon had the nerve to come into my bedroom made her feel she was not alone battling for a good marriage.

On our own we cannot consistently pursue a great marriage.

2Cor.13:14 “The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ, and the Love of God, and the communion of the Holy Spirit be with you all.”

You need the communion of the Holy Spirit in your marriage.

Jesus was giving his disciples a new leader:

John 14:26 “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you.”

John 16:13 “When He , the Spirit of truth, has come, He will guide you into all truth; for He will not speak on His own authority, but whatever He hears, He will speak; and He will tell you things to come.”

The minute you accept Christ as your savior, the Holy Spirit comes into your life.

God loves the Holy Spirit so much that he chastised the children of Israel for their disobedience.

“But they rebelled and grieved His Holy Spirit; so He turned Himself against them as an enemy.” (Isa.63:10)

David knew that the secret of his greatness was not him but the power of the Holy Spirit.

“Do not cast me away from Your presence, And do not take your Holy Spirit from me.”  (Psa.52:11)

Let your natural reactions be replaced by the leading of the Holy Spirit.

“For if you live according to the flesh you will die…”  (Rom.8:13-14)

The Holy Spirit produces fellowship with God and an affective relationship with our spouses.

This is how the Holy Spirit impacts your marriage:

• He empowers you to fight sin (Gal.5:15-16)
• Helps to produce fruit of the spirit in you (Gal.5:22-23)
• Daily directs your life (Rom.8:14)
• Assist your marriage to glorify Jesus (John 16:14)
• Convicts you of sin (John 16:18)
• Gives power to be Christ-like (Eph.3:16)

Ask the Holy Spirit right now to help your marriage succeed.

The Holy Spirit will teach you not to quench His Spirit.

He will teach you how to keep your marriage fresh and vibrant!

You have tried everything else, Give Him a try!!!!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

THE POISON OF COMPLAINING

Few things steal the joy and harmony in a marriage than complaining and grumbling.  Let’s take a look at what God’s Word says about complaining and why we need to avoid it.

1.  Realize that complaining is dangerous.  In recent days a number of Christian leaders have fallen into immorality– and I have wondered how many more Christians have been declared unusable by God because of their complaining.  If the enemy of our soul can’t derail us through lust or immorality, then he will seek a different bait for his trap.  For many of us, that snare is the temptation to gripe, grumble, and complain against God (Num.14:27; 1Cor.9:24-10:13).  Illicit sex is not the only sin that puts Christians on the sidelines!

2.  Remember, God knows what He is doing.  The Old Testament hero Joseph is a great example for me.  First, his brothers threw him into a pit and sold him into slavery.  Then he’s unjustly accused of fooling around with Potiphar’s wife, thrown into prison, forgotten by a friend he had helped, and yet Scripture doesn’t record a single complaint.  He could’ve become bitter against his brothers.  He didn’t.  He could’ve smashed his fist against the prison walls and complained about his unjust circumstances.  He didn’t.

What was the secret of his complaint-free life?  The answer is found in Gen.45:5-8, where we find Joseph, now the governor  of Egypt, addressing his starving brothers, “And now do not be grieved or angry with yourselves…because God has sent me before you to preserve life.”   Three times in four verses Joseph says, “God sent me here.” Joseph grasped the truth that God is in control and that He knows what He is doing.

3.  Put away past complaints that may have turned bitter.  A grudge is an aging complaint, still actively held.  The longer you carry a complaint, the greater the probability it will become a grudge too heavy to handle.  If you have a complaint against a brother–or your spouse–go to him or her in private and clear the slate.

4.  Keep on giving thanks in all things (1Thess.5:18).  This is not just some power of positive thinking approach!  No, we will never give thanks unless we see God as the Sovereign Ruler of the Universe, at work in our lives through our circumstances, even the ones we don’t especially care for.

NOTE:  This article was taken from “Family Life Marriage Bible” by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed

SATURDAY – QUESTION & ANSWER

Question #1.  I have several children and my husband expected the house to be clean and neat.  Is that fair and should he put that much importance on our home?

Answer #1.  Your home is important not only to your husband and your children, but to God.  God has a lot to say about your home.  2Kings 20:1 “Set your house in order…”

Listen to Proverbs 14:1  “The wise woman builds her house.”  

Woman are told in this verse to use wisdom in building your house.

Although you may look at your home life as being an important role, cleanliness may not be a priority.

In Proverbs 14:1, the verse ends with “…The foolish (woman) plucketh it down with her hands.”

This verse is telling us that the foolish woman is mismanaging her home.  By doing that, she is not fulfilling what not only the family, but what God expects of her.

Woman are suppose to be doing the work that makes a house a home.

Your husband should make the determination of that.

In Proverbs 14:1, this woman is spending her time on frivolous things.  Things that are not important to her husband.

If your reason for not cleaning is tiredness, we are all tired.  Find the time of day when you have the most energy and then do the things that take the most strength.

If it is that the children take up your time, then there are things you must cut out of your life.

Management skills can be learned.

Ask God to help you.  Your home is important to him.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

IT’S ALL ABOUT ME!

 Marriage is for grown ups.

Every time you get mad, you are in a NARCISSISTIC moment.

What we want becomes sacred; what the other person wants becomes silent.

When it comes to YOUR achievements and talents, do you exaggerate them or downplay them?

Narcissism is an exceptional interest in and admiration for yourself.

Narcissism says, “I don’t care what is going on with you, it is all about me.”

Do you think that kind of an attitude will work in marriage?

How is it WORKING in your marriage??

Don’t turn the volume down when it comes to listening as your husband expresses his concerns.

When voices go up, the ABILITY to intake goes down.

Do you feel indignant (wronged) when your spouse’s behavior doesn’t comply with your expectations?  (frequently or rarely)

The single best measure of being emotionally healthy and being a grownup is the capacity for bilateral (2-sided) listening.

There are two speakers and they both count.

A person is narcissistic when all they HEAR is their own thoughts and interpretations of the concerns.

When it comes to your spouse, do you catch yourself fishing for compliments?  How about from other people?

CASE AND POINT:  When a tennis player is on the tennis court playing, they make mistakes all the time.  When they have missed a shot, they only have 25 seconds to get their emotions back into control before the next serve comes their way.  Many of them have therapists who teach them how to get their emotions focused for the next ball and off the anger of messing up that last ball.  They ask themselves what they can do to be more affective on their next play.

If an unsaved tennis player can be taught restraint by their therapist, why can’t a Christian do that in their own marriage.

You have God’s word to give you the knowledge, and the Holy Spirit to give you the guidance.

Deut.30:19 “I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life that both you and your descendants may life…”

What you do and how you act, affects you children and their children and your children’s children……etc.

Marriage isn’t a game, but why can’t you stop and ask the Holy Spirit to make you more affective on your next play?

Do you always have to have it YOUR way?

Can you pass the test of being a child of God or will you pass the test of being narcissistic?

The CHOICE is yours.

You can change today!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

REESTABLISHING MARITAL TRUST

God is into restoring our marriages if we give him the reins.

It is the responsibility of both spouses to REBUILD the marriage relationship.

There are many examples of biblical restoration of relationships.

One is the restoration of God back to his adulterous children of Israel.  (Joel 2:25)

Jer.30:17 “For I will restore health to you and heal you of your wounds,” says the Lord…”

 Other relationships restored were:  Paul and John Mark (Acts 15:36), Jacob and Esau (Gen.27:4), Prodigal Son and father (Luke 5:11-32).

*  Don’t react to feelings.

Don’t be preoccupied with YOUR feelings.

You will have the fear of being hurt that will try to overpower you.

Try to  avoid the following:

• Trying to control your spouse.
• Giving them the silent treatment.
• Withdrawing from intimacy.
• Seeking revenge.
• Acting like a martyr.

It will take time to LEARN each others needs, feelings and expectations.

This process takes patience.

WAITING on God to do the work shows your trust in him.

*  Home Environment.

Maintain a STABLE home environment.

Practice humility even when your emotions are telling you that you deserve to express revenge.

Maintain an atmosphere of “love” in the home.

Strive everyday to build a SAFE emotional environment.

Make your sexual relationship a priority.

*  Don’t be on the defensive.

Beware of self-righteousness.

There NEEDS to be openness and listening.

Keep in mind that you are his companion, so find occasions to have fun.

Are your expectations REASONABLE?

Are you doing anything that is causing your spouse to escape his commitments?

This is a good time for self-examination on how you can become the person your spouse and family need you to be.

Ask the Holy Spirit for GUIDANCE.

Partner with the Holy Spirit to make your marriage a success.

You will reap the REWARDS of a grateful spouse.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.