LOVE YOUR SPOUSE

WHAT’S YOUR ATTITUDE ABOUT FINANCES?

About fifteen years ago my husband and I were at the Miami, Florida airport. We were taking a plane to Cuba. As we were in line, we noticed that everyone going on our flight had kerosene lamps. It seemed very unusual but we had no idea what they were for till we got to Cuba. At anytime all the lights in the country of Cuba would go off. It made it very dangerous for people driving because roads were pitch black. It was also dangerous for anyone to be walking the streets after dark so they did it at their own risk. We were told that hundreds of people were killed on their roads at night, both walking and driving.

I was very upset with Fidel Castro that he mistreated his people as to not even supply them with lighting. I must admit that it really made me appreciate my country along with artificial lighting.

Every night we have the freedom to have a LIGHT SHOW.

As “profile peekers”, let’s take another look at this Proverbs 31 woman.

“She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night.” Proverbs 31:18

This verse shows us her attitude towards her wealth as a possession since it is referring to financial gain.

In Hebrew, the word “profit” is cachar, which means PROFIT or GAIN.

We see from that verse that the virtuous woman was financially sensible.

Do you own your wealth, or does it own you?

“For the love of money is a root of all sorts of evil, and some by longing for it have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.” 1Tim.6:10

This verse is telling us that it is the LOVE of money that is the problem.

The virtuous woman knew how to make money, and spend it according to Godly principles.

The possession of money is not what made her excellent, it was her ATTITUDE towards money.

Do you say as a Christian that everything you own belongs to God?

If you can’t GIVE freely, then your treasure is not in heaven.

What does money mean to you? Security? Power? Importance?

Your desire for wealth is a spiritual stumbling block if your answer is yes to any of the above.

Your attitude about money should be one of a steward.

Money should be a TOOL for God to use.

Do you and your spouse argue about money?  Take a money inventory about your attitude.

The other thing we learn in this verse is the PRIDE she takes in doing a good job.

No one worries about her responsibilities not being taken care of whether it is night or day because her lamp is on.

In Matt.25:1-13 it talks about the prudent and foolish virgins. Ten young virgins were waiting for their bridegroom. Five brought extra oil for their lamps, five did not. The ones with extra oil were prepared to go out and meet the bridegroom when He arrived at midnight.

Materialism can easily distract us from spiritual readiness.

Are you PREPARED for an emergency or a disaster?

Remember that it is important to budget for giving, saving, getting out of debt and emergencies.

This excellent woman was WATCHFUL and CAREFUL.

As long as God’s lamp is burning in us, we will never be weary in well doing.

Do you allow the Holy Spirit to use you as a WISE spouse in your marriage?

Use the wisdom that God has given you.

Remember, every night we can have a light show!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

SUPERNATURAL STRENGTH FOR WIVES

In 1992 Kristi Yamaguchi won the gold metal in the “Winter Olympics” and the “World Championship.”  From 1992-2002, she toured with the program “Stars on Ice”, which was made up of celebrity figure skaters.

The definition of figure skating is an Olympic sport where individuals perform intricate and challenging moves on ice skates.  The reality is that this definition is not the whole story.  They spend their lifetime, minimum of 8 hours a day, 7 days a week since they are approximately 6 years old, practicing.  One parent gives up all their time and career to take their child from ballet, to gymnastics, to an array of ice skating lessons.   These competitors have disciplined muscles and skill that is unbelievable.

In Proverbs 31, the virtuous woman is identified as a woman of strength.

As we continue with our “profile peeking”, let see what we can find.

Prov. 31:17  “She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.”

The word “strength” in Hebrew is OZ, which means boldness, power, and strong.

In Hebrew the word “arm” is Zarowa which figuratively refers to force.

This woman vigorously goes about her DUTIES and does what she does with all her might.

She keeps herself healthy and strong by proper health practices—adequate rest and exercise, and a good diet.

She is energetic, strong and a hard worker.

God’s word urges wives to lead productive lives and to be hard workers.

As we see all that goes into ice skating, and that is for trophies and ribbons, we need to ask ourselves how much more we should be doing for God.

High energy living is here to stay in the world now.

The Old Testament gives us many examples of industrious women.  One was Deborah, who was a prophetess, judge and leader.  Ruth the widow worked the fields gathering wheat and barley.  Lydia was a dealer in purple cloth and Dorcas made clothes.

Whatever your work is, do you put it before God or your husband?

Nothing should ever come before Faith or your family.

The “virtuous woman” keeps herself and her family in perfect health with proper food and clothing.

Can you be the great steward of the time that you have on earth?

Can you give the first and the best of your EFFORTS to God and your husband?

Do you put into your efforts all that you have in your being?

Can you give the first and the best of your ENERGY to God and your husband?

Are you well prepared so that you can put all your energy into it?

Can you give the first and the best of your STRENGTH to God and your husband?

Regardless of the difficulties and opposition, do you have the perseverance to finish the job?

The “virtuous woman” didn’t have the words GIVE UP in her vocabulary.

God doesn’t give up on you!

DON’T YOU GIVE UP!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

PAINT WITH BROAD STROKES

Your bedroom is not the place for modesty.  Remember God’s original design, “And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed” (Gen.2:25).

The bedroom is the one place to really let go.  Solomon showed us that God intends for sex to be a feast of oneness, enjoyed often, “I have come to my garden, my sister, my spouse; I have gathered my myrrh with my spice; I have eaten my honeycomb with my honey; I have drunk my wine with my milk” (Song 5:1)

If Scripture does not forbid your creative sexual expression, if your activity doesn’t demean either one of you, and if you keep it exclusive to the two of you, then you’re totally free to paint with broad strokes.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

NOTE:  This article came from Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

SATURDAY QUESTION & ANSWER 

NOTE:  This article is from Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

Question #1:  What kinds of thoughts go through my husband’s mind when he initiates physical intimacy?

Answer #1:  There is more going through a typical husband’s mind at that moment than many women may realize!  Consider a few of the questions he may be asking himself:

1.  Do you want me?  Will you welcome me?  There is no other person I can go to who will affirm this side of me.

2.  Will you trust me with your body?  Or will you pull away?

3.  Do you really want to please me?  Do you have any idea how important this is to me?  Am I important enough in your life to focus on what I need sexually as a man?

4.  How did I do?  Did I do just okay, or did I really bring great pleasure to you?  I gain my greatest satisfaction from knowing that you have received and enjoyed pleasure.

The sexual fulfillment of your husband is directly related to how his wife communicates her sexual love to him.  How do you communicate that you need him?  Do you usually wait for him, or do you initiate?  Do you respond or do you resist?  Your attitude and actions are essential parts of the experience

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

                                                              TRY BALANCING ACTS; THEY WORK                                                                  

In the early 70’s there was a program on TV called “Wonder Woman.” This woman was perfect in stature, looks and strength. Everyone wanted to look like her. One night when my husband and I went to dinner, she was in the restaurant. I noticed her because she was so tall and beautiful. Her role was to be a female “Superman.”

The bible has Proverbs 31 virtuous woman, who to us women, she seems like a “Wonder Woman” with supernatural power.

Once again we will continue our series on this Proverbs 31 woman as a “profile peeker” to see who she really is.

“She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.” Prov.31:16

Here is a woman who is balancing her personal life with her professional life.

This woman who is TRUSTED by her husband is hard-working and shrewd.

There is much liberty when we submit to God’s order and we see that she had liberty of choice.

“She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.”

The principle here is that this woman uses her mind as she envisions the long-range benefits of her decisions.

She doesn’t make rash decisions, but logically analyzes a situation.

In Larry Burkett’s book called PERSONAL FINANCES he states, “It is important that wives and mothers excel at what they do. Usually the mother becomes the teacher of habits in the home, and her attitudes are generally reflected by her children. If she excels at what she does and keeps the home well-organized, she can be a great asset to home financial planning.”

His comment is almost exactly what this Proverbs 31 woman was like.

It is hard to juggle all the balls that are thrown at you daily, isn’t it?

Life is busy—especially if you are a working mother with small children.

We are expected to bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, serve it, clean up the dishes, and do it all OVER AGAIN the next day.

God will give you strength.

Isa.40:29 “He gives strength to the weary, and increases the power of the weak.”

God can renew your strength to ACCOMPLISH all that is on your plate for the day.

Are you overwhelmed? Facing a lot?

TURN TO GOD!!

Prov.31:16, goes on to say that she spends her money wisely, providing for her family.

This vineyard provides for the future because it keeps producing grapes for wine. She can plant more vines and then buy more land.

Are you the type of person who buys items on a whim?

Do you consider what the item will be worth to you later on?

This woman is not borrowing money or using credit cards.

This woman uses spare money out of her SAVINGS.

This is exactly what God desires for each one of us.

He doesn’t want us begging, borrowing or in agonizing debt.

God wants to see us in financial freedom with all our needs met.

1Tim.2:10 ”For the love of money is the root of all sorts of evil, and some by longing for it have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.”

In pursuit of making more money, we can choose to neglect the important priorities in our lives.

We can neglect spending time with our SPOUSE or make poor decisions that lack integrity.

Prayerfully determine your financial priorities.

Distinguish between needs and wants.

If you are in debt, get out of debt!

Glorify God with your marriage.

Let the HOLY SPIRIT set up short term and long term goals for you.

Start today!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

YOUR SPOUSE IS WORTH IT

There is a product called “sleepy time tea”.  According to Celestial Seasoning, “sleepy time tea” has an aroma that helps soothe your body after a long day.

This tea, with other ingredients, can make it a little difficult to wake up in the morning.

As we once again do our “profile peeking” into the Proverbs 31 woman, we see that she is awake and alert.

Prov.31:15 “She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.”

This woman had a servant spirit.

Even though it is the job of the servants to feed their master, she got up early to feed her servants.

She must have made a commitment to God to be a servant and for her, it was a joyful way of life.

By listening to people, you find out the need in their life.

This gives you an opportunity to meet that need.

Especially apply this to your husband who is just as important as you are.

Gal.5:13 “…by love serve one another.”

Try to practice getting up earlier.  Read your word or pray.  Put on your make up and comb your hair.  Then put on a pot of coffee.

You are now ready to wake up your spouse.  Lol!!

What!!!  You mean you don’t do that?!?

Ok, girls.  You are really going to score some points with your hubby tomorrow morning!!  Lol!!

“She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.”

One of her top priorities is to set the pace because she understands that as a good manager her responsibility is to take care of those under her authority.

She mastered the skill of homemaking before she mastered her skills in the marketplace.

Have you mastered the skill of housework?

You must learn some expertise at home before you delegate that work to someone else.

This woman was energetic and a hard worker.

Let’s see what the scriptures have to say about the opposite type of woman.

Prov.6:9-11 “How long wilt thou sleep, O sluggard?  When wilt thou arise out of thy sleep? (Yet) a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep: So shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth, and thy want as an armed man.”

Prov.20:13 “Love not sleep, lest thou come to poverty; open thine eyes, (and) thou shalt be satisfied with bread.”

Eccles.9:10 “Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do (it) with thy might…”

Rom.12:11 “…not slothful in business; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord…”

Ok, it’s time to put down the “sleepy time tea”.

The virtuous woman loves her God given role better than her ease or her pleasure.

This woman has chosen well and has a great attitude about life.

How are you going to play this one?

Are you going to rise early or are you a sluggard?

Only you can make that choice.

Let God shower you with blessings for making the right choice.

You have a special presence in your family.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

SPOUSES GOING THE EXTRA MILE

Everyone wants to be successful but who would not turn down the chance to use a shortcut.

There was a woman who had won a long marathon years ago.  She came in first and was rewarded for her great skill, perseverance and diligence to finish this race.  Later, as they checked tapes and interviewed people, they realized that she wasn’t even in the marathon.  She jumped in at the end.

It takes a very deceptive person to attempt something like that.

As we continue in our series to be “profile peekers”, we will again take a look at the Proverbs 31 woman.

Prov.31:14 “She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar.”

This woman goes the extra mile for quality.

What she does, she does with excellence.

Nothing is mediocre.  Mediocre is lacking exceptional quality or ability.

Nothing that God does, or does for us, is mediocre.

God never takes shortcuts when it comes to his children nor should you when it comes to your God.

Rom.16:19 “Everyone has heard about your obedience, so I am full of joy over you.”

Are you productive, hardworking and willing to be obedient to be successful?

We always want God’s best and blessings but God isn’t a candy machine.

Just like you are diligent and obedient at work, God expects you to be that way for His Kingdom.

This starts first in your marriage and then leads to others outside of marriage.

A common commitment to excellence is one of the most vital bonds to holding a marriage together.

You should strive for excellence in yourself, not in your partner.

You should recognize the need for raising your standards and setting new records for yourself.

I don’t think that nothing pleases me more than to find myself in a situation that does not annoy me anymore.

It feels so good to be able to function peacefully under a stressful situation.

The evil one does not relax nor does he let up attacking your marriage.

Remember, just because you have overcome in an area, don’t think that another one won’t come up in a different direction.

Tomorrow will bring new challenges but that will give you an opportunity to excel beyond what you have done today.

Are you putting your heart and soul into your marriage?

Are you giving everything you can the way you do for your hobbies or other interests?

Are you striving for total quality in your marriage?

1Tim.5:10  “Well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints’ feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work.”

This wise woman has let the Holy Spirit do the guiding and she became the vessel.

This woman is fine with “dirt work”, because she works willingly with her hands.

When you are doing good work for your family keep your mind on it and don’t be weary.

Go the extra mile!  This is your only marriage to shine in!!

NO SHORTCUTS!!

Be cheerful!!!   You can do it!!!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be success

ENERGY FOR WIVES

There has been a big shift in the way business is conducted in comparison to a few decades ago.

Everything is computerized and HIGH TECH, but thank God he never changes.

We will continue being a “profile peeker” on the Proverbs 31 woman.

Prov.31:13 “She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.”

In this scripture, we now see the virtuous woman in an earthly role.

She is now being an ACTIVE wife and mother of the home and business by planning and providing for her family.

This woman selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.

Do you accomplish your responsibilities at HOME?

You aren’t a “clutter bug” are you?

In Acts 16:14, we see that Paul mentions a woman named Lydia, who was a dealer in purple cloth.  This woman was chosen by God to take care of Paul.

You need to find out what God wants you to do for your family and his kingdom.

You might be ASKING, how do I know what God wants me to do?

We need to search the scriptures daily because it is clearly written in His Word.

As soon as God enters our life, the HOLY SPIRIT enters in and brings gifts with Him.

As you volunteer for service, you will see what you are gifted in.

When you POUR yourself into something, then you feel that you are worth something.

Once you are a blessing in someone else’s life, or eventually slot into the right work of service for the Lord, you will experience more self-confidence.

When you work within your gift, instead of getting tired, you will be ENERGIZED.

Psa.124:8 (MSG) “God’s strong name is our help, the same God who made heaven and earth.”

God will help you with whatever you are doing to further His kingdom.

1Tim.5:8 “But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

No matter how spiritual you may think you are, if you fail to provide for your husband and children, you have denied the faith and are worse than an unbeliever.

Providing for your husband as “helpmeet”, also includes helping with his spiritual needs.

You do this by modeling godly character, praying for and with him, by spending time in God’s word and by looking for ways to encourage him.

Although business has changed and our lives have become more technological, GOD is still the same.

He desires to use you like this Proverbs 31 woman who worked willingly with her hands.

Assume responsibility as a lover and a servant to care for the gift God has given you—your spouse.

NOTE: Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

A WIFE IS SOMEONE TO HAVE FUN WITH

Dreamworks Animation SKG has a philosophy which states: We…embrace innovation, creativity, collaboration, and a solid dose of fun.  This company has made many famous animated movies.

This definition of all these adjectives together mean, “working together to create something for the first time.”

In Mal.2:11, marriage is called “…The  Lord’s holy institution which He loves…”

In Mal.2:14,  it implies that a wife is someone to have fun with, “…the wife…is your companion…”

In Mal.2:15, it explains that God created marriage to obtain Godly children, “But did He not make them one…He seeks Godly offspring…”

I would say that God’s establishment of marriage is embracing innovation, creativity, collaboration, and a solid dose of fun.

A marriage definitely is a “working together to create something for the first time.”

Your wedding day was full of high expectations and excitement.

God gave you to your husband so that he could meet his God-given POTENTIAL.

As the years pass on, there are unmet expectations and great disappointment that starts to invade your marriage.

Do you find yourself trying to SHAPE your husband into the man you desire him to be?

Do you find yourself telling him what you think he should be doing for the kingdom of God?

Do you find yourself frustrated at times because your hopes and dreams have faded and not come to pass?

Prov.31:12 “She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.”

Make it your constant business to do your spouse GOOD and don’t do anything that would displease him.

God knows your husband’s heart and what He created him for.

Let God take the lead since he knows what you both as a couple can ACCOMPLISH.

God knows that it is hard for you to wait on your dreams for your family.

Gal.6:10 “…let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.”

You need to be a peacemaker to him.

Do you make life EASY for him?

Do you attend to him with diligence and tenderness?

Watch over anything that would DAMAGE him, his family, his estate, or his reputation.

Do this with joy and not grudgingly.

You have been given to him “for better or worse, in health or sickness, for richer or poorer.”

You do this because you Love God and desire to please Him and not only your husband.

A virtuous wife brings him GOOD, not harm, all the days of her life.

You need to do these things, not just because it is convenient or profitable.

Your character NEEDS to be steady, reliable, and dependable.

You can do this!  You were made for this!

The dream will come, but it takes work.

TEAMWORK makes the DREAM WORK.

The Dream Works.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

THE BEST GIFT OF ALL?

Do you think that it’s possible you might spend hours and hours searching for that special something that you just know your husband will love, only to discover it’s not really on his radar screen at all?  It’s not only possible, we’re sure it happens all the time.

And yet there’s a gift we absolutely guarantee that he’ll love.

You won’t find it at the department store.  It’s not for sale in the athletic shop.  You won’t pick it off the shelf in the automotive parts store, secure it in the athletic club, spot it at the bowling alley, or purchase it at your local big box megahemoth shopping center.

Actually, you already have it…you just have to give it.  So would you like to know what it is?  We really think it might be the best gift of all.  And here it is:

Refrain from saying, “I told you so.”

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

NOTE:  This article is from Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.