KEYS TO AVOIDING DIVORCE – Part 2
Fifth Key : Never retire for the night angry with each other.
“Let not the sun go down upon your wrath. “Eph.4:26. “Confess your faults one to another.” Jas.5:16. “Forgetting those things which are behind.” Phil.3:13. “Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” Eph.4:32.
To remain angry and upset over hurts and grievances (big or little) is exceedingly dangerous. Unless quickly solved, even little problems become set in your mind as convictions and attitudes adversely affecting your whole philosophy of life. This is why God says to let anger cool before retiring at night. Be big enough to forgive and to say with sincerity, “I’m sorry.” After all, no one is perfect, and you are both on the same team, so be sportsmanlike enough to honestly admit a mistake when you make it. Besides, making up is a very pleasant experience, with unusual powers to draw marriage partners closer together. God suggests it! It works!
Sixth Key : Keep Christ in the center of your home.
“Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it.” Psa.127:1. “In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” Prov.3:6. “And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Phil.4:7.
This is the greatest rule. It really covers all the others. Put Christ first! The real secret of true happiness in the home is not diplomacy, strategy, and untiring effort to overcome problems, but rather, union with Christ. Hearts filled with Christ’s love can never be very far apart. With Christ in the home, marriage will be successful. The gospel is the cure for all marriages that are filled with hatred, bitterness, and disappointment. It prevents thousands of divorces by miraculously restoring love and happiness. It will save your marriage, too, if you are willing.
Seventh Key : Pray together.
“Pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Matt.26:41. “Pray one for another.” Jas.5:16. If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally.” Jas.1:5
Pray aloud for each other! This is a wonderful rule that succeeds beyond the wildest dream. Kneel before God and ask Him for true love for one another, for forgiveness, for strength, for wisdom–for the solution to problems. God has given a personal guarantee that He will answer. The praying person is not automatically cured of all of his faults, but he will have a heart that wants to do right. No family ever breaks up while sincerely praying together for God’s help.
Eighth key : Agree that divorce is not the answer.
“What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.” Matt.19:6. “Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.” Matt.19:9. “The woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth.” Rom.7:2.
The bible is clear. The ties of marriage are meant to be indissoluble and indestructible. Divorce is permissible only in the case of adultery. But even then it is not demanded, only permitted. Forgiveness is always better than divorce, even in the case of a moral fall. Marriage is for life. God so ordained it when He performed the first wedding in Eden. Thoughts of divorce as a solution will destroy any marriage. This is one reason Jesus ruled it out. Divorce is always destructive and almost never a solution to the problem. Instead, it creates much greater problems, so it should never be considered. Torn, frustrated, unhappy, twisted lives almost inevitably follow divorce, and even success in life itself is often thwarted. God instituted marriage to guard people’s purity and happiness, to provide for their social needs, and to evaluate their physical, mental, and moral nature. Its vows are among the most solemn and binding obligations that human beings can assume. To lightly set them aside results in removing one’s self from God’s favor and blessing.
Ninth Key : Keep the family circle closed tightly.
“Thou shalt not commit adultery.” Ex.20:14. “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her…She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” Prov.31:11,12. “The Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously.” Mal.2:14. “Keep thee from the evil woman…Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids…Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?…So he that goeth in to his neighbor’s wife; whosoever toucheth her shall not be innocent.” Prov.6:24-29.
Family intimacies must never be shared with others–not even with parents. It is a great sin and a tragedy to break this God-given rule. A third person to sympathize or listen to complaints is a tool of the devil to estrange the hearts of husband and wife. Solve your home problems privately. No one else (except your minister or marriage counselor) should ever be involved. Always be truthful with each other, and never keep secrets from each other. Tell no jokes at the expense of your spouse’s feelings. Vigorously defend each other, and strictly exclude all intruders. And as for adultery (in spite of what some marriage counselors say), it always hurts you and everyone else involved. God, who knows our mind, body, and emotional structure (and knows what helps or hurts us) says, “Thou shalt not.” And when He says, “Don’t,” we had better not. Those who ignore His rule will pay the supreme penalty. So if flirtations have begun, break them off at once, or shadows may settle over your life that cannot be lifted.
NOTE: This article is from Amazing Facts Study Guide.
NOTE: Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.
LOVE YOUR SPOUSE 
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