25 Nov


Fourteenth Key:  Be clean, modest, orderly, and dutiful.

“In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel.” 1Tim.2:9.  “She…works with willing hands.”  “She rises while it is yet night and provides food for her household.”  “She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.” Prov.31:13, 15, 27.  “Be ye clean.” Isa.52:11.  “Let all things be done decently and in order.” 1Cor.14:40.  “If any provide not…for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.” 1Tim.5:8.  “Be not slothful.” Heb.6:12.

Laziness, disorder, dirt, and slovenliness are the devil’s weapons to destroy your respect and affection for one another, and thus ruin your marriage.  Neat, modest attire and clean, well-groomed bodies are essential for both husband and wife.  The meals should be wholesome, attractive, and served on time.  The home should be clean and orderly, because this brings peace, calmness, and satisfaction to all.  A lazy, shiftless husband who does not provide for his household is a curse to his family and an insult to God.  Carelessness in some of these seemingly small matters is destroying homes by the thousands.

Fifteenth Key:  Determine to speak softly and kindly.

“A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” Prov.15:1  “Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest.” Eccl.9:9.  “When I became a man, I put away childish things.” 1Cor.13:11.

Force yourself to speak softly and kindly to your spouse.  Silence, when one is attached, is often the best method to cool wrath.  Decisions made when angry, tired, or discouraged are unreliable anyway, so it’s best to relax and let anger cool.  And when you do speak, let it always be quietly and lovingly.  Harsh, angry words crush your spouse’s desire to please you.

Sixteenth Key:  Be reasonable in money matters. 

“It (love) is not possessive…Love has good manners and does not pursue selfish advantage.” 1Cor.13:4,5.  “God  loveth a cheerful giver.” 2Cor.9:7

All possessions and income in marriage should be “ours,” not “yours” and “mine.”  Wives who don’t work outside the home should receive a regular amount for groceries, clothing, and other budgeted items.  It should be cheerfully provided instead of grudgingly released under protest.  Wife and husband both should have small, equal sums (whenever possible) to spend as desired without giving account.  A miserly husband usually angers his wife into being a spender, just as a wasteful husband makes a wife stingy.  Showing confidence in your companion’s managing ability will usually make him or her more businesslike.

Seventeenth Key:  Talk things over and counsel together freely.

“It (love) is neither anxious to impress nor does it cherish inflated ideas of its own importance…It is not touchy.” 1Cor.13:4, 5.  “He that refuseth instruction despiseth his own soul.” Prov.15:32.  “Seest thou a man wise in his own conceit?  There is more hope of a fool than of him.” Prov.26:12

Few things will strengthen your marriage more than counseling together on all major decisions.  Changing a job or purchasing a home, an automobile, a boat, furniture, clothing (Major items at least), and all other items that require money involve both husband and wife, and the opinions of both should be considered.  Talking things over together will avoid many blunders that could ruin your marriage.  If, after much discussion and earnest prayer, opinions still differ, the wife should submit to her husband’s decision.  Scripture is clear on this. (See Eph.5:22-24)

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