#5 – HOW TO GET YOUR SPOUSE TO THINK YOUR WAY

26 Apr

#5 – HOW TO GET YOUR SPOUSE TO THINK YOUR WAY

Let your spouse do most of the talking

We often find ourselves doing all the talking when we want our spouse to do something OUR WAY.

We forget that our spouse has needs, wants, interests and preferences.

It is not all about you!!!!

The only way that you can find out what your spouses CONCERNS are, is to let them talk.

My husband likes to use the saying, “Give a man enough rope and he will hang himself.”

Through life, I have seen this happen over and over, again.

Psa.12:4 “Who have said, With our tongue will we prevail; our lips are our own: who is lord over us?”

In Hebrew, the word “prevail” is pronounced, gabar.  This word means to exceed or to be stronger.

This verse shows a person who is a smooth talker and relies on his own ability and flattering talk to deceive and overcome his listener.

This verse goes on to say, because you have a GIFT of communication, you think you can say what you want.

In the end, those are the ones who will receive greater damnation.  Matt.12:37  “For  by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.”

What are your spouses’ needs?

What are your spouses’ wants?

What are your spouses’ interests?

What are your spouses’ preferences?

Are your spouses’ concerns NOT important to you?

Is it just all about you?    It’s not about you!!!!!!

LISTEN for hints about your spouses concerns?

Sometimes that is all your spouse wants is to be heard.

Your spouse may just want to FEEL important.

Your spouse wants to feel important and be a part.

Ask your spouse questions about your decision, because you may need ADVISE to make it work.

Ask your spouse questions from comments and hints that they have given you.

DON’T DO ALL THE TALKING!  DO MORE LISTENING!

Eccles.5:3 “…a fool’s voice is known by multitude of words.”

In Hebrew, the word “fool” is someone who is stupid or silly.

This verse says, if you want to identify someone who is acting ignorant, just look around and see who won’t stop talking.

CASE AND POINT:  Over 20 years ago my husband was invited to speak at a church.  After the service, we went for coffee with the pastor whose name I don’t remember.  He sat there for over an hour talking about his voice and how his song leading has improved.  When we left, so many things went through my mind.  I felt he had a great opportunity to pick my husbands brain and learn skills and ideas on how to build a congregation.  This pastor was new at pastoring and there was much for him to learn.  My husband had been a missionary for five years in England, pioneered three churches, and at that time had been in ministry approximately 20 years.  Since my husband never makes suggestions on improvements unless a pastor asks, we learned how to improve your vocal cords from a pastor that didn’t know how to sing.  Lol!!

I usually learn from my mistakes, but this was a time that I learned from someone else’s.

Let your spouse do most of the talking.

Is your spouse screaming to be heard?

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post in this series, “How to get your spouse to think your way.”

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