NEVER THREATEN TO LEAVE

8 Jan

NEVER THREATEN TO LEAVE

Several years ago, God gave us the wonderful privilege of helping a couple resurrect a marriage that seemed beyond hope.  Their real commitment to Christ and to each other caused them to grow steadily in their relationship, bringing dramatic changes to their home.

But one day the wife came to us, discouraged once more about their marriage.  Apparently her and her husband had reached an impasse. Each night they argued about the problem,, the husband threatened to leave, a tactic from the past.  He saturated their relationship with the fear that maybe he would follow through this time.

We often tell people that one of the Ten Commandments of marriage should be Never threaten to leave.  As in so many areas of the Christian life, God gave us a memorable example to follow.  Over and over in scripture He tells us He loves us, that He’s committed to us, that He will never leave us or forsake us.  In Ezekiel He says it like this, “I spread my My wig over you and covered your nakedness.  Yes, I swore an oath to you and entered into a covenant with you, and you became Mine” (Ezek.16:8).

Speak such loving, reassuring words to your mate.  Regularly repeat your commitment, describe your love, and offer potent word pictures of your determination to stick together, regardless of what comes.

 And when some problem does arise, —and it will—use the incident as yet another opportunity to reassure your spouse (even in the heat of the battle) that your commitment to the marriage and to the relationship remains firm, solid, and secure.  If God can tell us, “I will not leave you nor forsake you” (Josh.1:5), then we can follow His model and speak words of faithfulness, commitment, and devotion into the lives of our mates.

Also, tell your mate that you’d choose to mary him or her again.  When I have said this to Barbara, she has sometimes responded with, “Really?” At those times she is really saying, “I don’t feel very lovable right now.  In fact, I don’t like myself.  Are you sure you still like me?”  She needs me to to reinforce my love for her.

Why not write a letter that tells your spouse you would marry him or her all over again?  Then read your note to your spouse and thank God for giving you your mate, no matter what problems you may face.  Finish by reaffirming your marriage covenant with God together in prayer.

NOTE:  This article came from the book Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

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2 Responses to “NEVER THREATEN TO LEAVE”

  1. blbotner January 8, 2017 at 12:59 pm #

    For years I’ve read your blog. My husband is an alcoholic. I am left alone almost every week, sometimes days at a time because he’s in our bedroom drunk. Some people say I’m only enabling him by staying. I’ve threatened him once again that I’m leaving. What are your thoughts on my situation? Thank you

    • nancysalazar February 20, 2017 at 3:23 pm #

      Hi Blbotner! Thanks so much for your comment! First, I commend you on your perseverance to honoring your marriage vows through the years. Threats do not work because it is not within their power to change. Your spouse has wounds on their soul and that is why they drink. We all get our soul wounded and most times daily. The (dunamus) power of the resurrection of Christ removes those wounds. Jesus did not stay dead in the tomb, he resurrected. The word power in the Greek means excellent of SOUL and body,also the working of miracles. Google: Katie Souza-Offenses and you will be AMAZED! 3John1:2 “Beloved, I wish above all things that you may prosper and be in health, even as your soul prospers.” Your soul is your: mind, heart, emotions. The condition of your spouses soul affects every part of their life. I will keep you in prayer. We need an excellent soul first!!

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