SATURDAY – QUESTION & ANSWER 8/13/11
Question #1 . What do you do when a spouse only sees the negative things about you and not the positive. I am blamed for everything that goes wrong.
Answer #1. (I will answer this with some comments from an article by Dr. Dale A. Robbins and is a publication of Victorious Publications.)
Rom.14:10-13 “Why do you criticize and pass judgment on your brother? …why do you look down on your brother…then let us no more criticize and blame…”
A “critical spirit” is an obsessive attitude of criticism and fault-finding, which seeks to tear others down. Constructive criticism is that which is expressed in love to “build up,” not to tear down. It is always expressed face-to-face, never behind their back.
The person with a critical spirit usually dwells on the negative, seeks for flaws rather than good. They’re a complainer, usually always upset, and generally have a problem or a complaint about something. They often have little control over their tongue, their temper, and have tendencies for gossip and slander, which Paul said were sins “worthy of death” (Rom.1:29-32).
What causes a critical spirit? Negativeness, insecurity, immaturity, an unrenewed mind, and the devil.
What is the prescription for a healthy mind? The bible doesn’t promise peace to those who dwell on the faults of others. It says that the Lord will keep them in perfect peace, whose minds are stayed on Him! (Isa.26:3)
If your spouse does not read God’s word then you must do it for them. You stay in God’s word and pray for your spouse. Pray everyday and bind the “negative spirit” in Jesus name. You will see results. Be patient and put your trust in God.
NOTE: Tomorrows post will have new insights to make your marriage a success.
LOVE YOUR SPOUSE 
I felt like this so much that more times than not it would bring me to tears. I spent 90% of my time trying to please and make my husband happy. It didn’t matter if I spent the whole day doing everything right. If I ended the day with something half hearted or not quite right, it made the rest of the day disappear. This crushed my spirit and gave me an attitude of defeat. My husband would tell me I was taking thing to personal and I was being way to sensitive. I thought to myself, and even expressed to him, “What’s in the heart, comes out the mouth”. I couldn’t understand why he couldn’t hear me when I told him he was tearing me down.
I must tell you my husband passed away 4 days ago. I knew the day I met him he was rough around the edges, and God put me in his life to be his sandpaper. I never wanted to change him before, but after awhile I did take everything he said as a personal attack. I couldn’t have been more far from the truth. I forgot my role as his wife was to keep my sweet spirit and love him thru Jesus’ eyes. When I lost focus of that is when I became a victim, spiteful, vengeful, ugly wife. I miss my husband with all my heart, and YES his delivery left a lot to be desired, but I know he was only pushing me to be consistent, and strive to be my best all the time in all i do! If my husband can’t push me out of my comfort zone, and out of my box, then how was I going to be open and reachable to the things God was preparing me for? I am grateful for my husband and the 17 months I was blessed to call him my husband. He truly brought a third demention to my two dimensional world. I love you Will Fitzpatrick, thank you for touching my life for a season. I wouldn’t change anything if i had it to do all over again!