LOVE YOUR SPOUSE

BRAVE HUSBANDS DEALING WITH “PMS” WIVES

Do you find yourself getting upset and emotional about something that is not a big deal? Then you find out that it was right before your monthly menstruation.

Some women use PMS as an excuse to act ugly.

PMS is premenstrual Syndrome, a medical disorder characterized by a variety of physical and emotional symptoms that occur in women before menstruation.

Comments are from Bible Answer Stand written by Craig Bluemel.

A woman’s emotions may vary according to lower levels of estrogen and progesterone of key brain chemicals, such as serotonin.

This is the cause for anger and other emotions like depression, anxiety, or mood swings.

Physically at that time there is fluid retention, bloating, cramps, sore breasts, headaches, swollen feet and hands.

So what is the poor husbands to do?

Did God leave any instructions for the husbands.

Yes!!

Husbands are to treat their wives weakness or even sinful behavior as Jesus treats him when he is weak and sins.

1Pet.3:7-18 are instructions on what the treatment of the wife should be and his Christ-like response during times of conflict.

1Pet.3:7 (Amplified Bible) “In the same way you married men should live considerately with your wives, with an intelligent recognition of the marriage relation,  honoring the woman as physically the weaker, but realizing that you are joint heirs of the grace of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut-off, otherwise you cannot pray effectively.”

If the husband’s prayers are heard, it is based solely on how he treats his wife, including his righteous response to her emotional negativity.

The word “weaker” in the Greek means more BEAUTIFUL, DELICATE and FRAIL.

The word “vessel” in the Greek means EQUIPMENT.  In reference to the wife, it describes her as contributing to the usefulness of the husband.

Unfaithfulness of husband and wife causes prayers to be hindered.

vs. 3:8 ”Finally, all of you (husbands) should be of one and the same mind (with your wife), united in spirit, sympathizing with another, loving each other as brethren of one household, compassionate and courteous, tender-hearted and humble.”

vs. 3:9 “(Husbands should) never return evil for evil or insult for insult, scolding, tongue-lashing, treating, but on the contrary blessing, praying for their (wife’s) welfare, happiness, and protection, and truly pitying and loving them.  For know that to this you (husbands) have been called, that you may yourselves inherit a blessing from God—that you may obtain a blessing as heirs, bringing welfare and happiness and protection (to your wife).”

vs. 3:10 “For let him who wants to enjoy life and see good days; good, whether apparent or not, keep his tongue free from evil and his lips from guile, treachery, deceit.”

vs. 3:11 “Let him turn away from wickedness and shun it, and let him do right.  Let him search for peace, harmony; undisturbedness from (his eagerly.  Do not merely desire peaceful relations with God, with your fellowmen (wife as fellow heir), and with yourself, but pursue, go after them!”

vs. 3:12 “For the eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous, those who are upright and in right standing with God, and His ears are attentive to their prayer.  But the face of the Lord is against those who practice evil, to oppose them, to frustrate, and defeat them.”

God will look on the wicked to punish them for their sins.

vs. 3:13 “Now who (which wife) is there to hurt you (husbands) if you are zealous followers of that which is good?”

A “follower” is an imitator.

vs. 3:14 “But even in case you should suffer for the sake of righteousness, you are blessed, happy, to be envied.  Do not dread or be afraid of their (wife’s) threats, nor be disturbed by their opposition.”

If you have the right attitude, all suffering for doing right will work to your good.

vs. 3:15 “But in your hearts set Christ apart as holy and acknowledge Him as Lord.  Always be ready to give a (her) logical defense to anyone who asks you to account for the hope that is in you, but do it courteously and respectfully.”

vs. 3:16 “And see to it that your conscience is entirely clear and unimpaired, so that, when you are falsely accused as evildoers (by her emotional tirade), those who threaten you abusively and revile your right behavior in Christ may come to be ashamed of slandering your good lives.”

If you maintain good behavior, you will have a good conscience.

vs.  3:17 “For it is better to suffer unjustly for doing right, if that should be God’s will, than to suffer justly for doing wrong.”

vs. 3:18 “For Christ himself died for sins once for all, the Righteous for the unrighteous, the Just for the unjust, the Innocent for the guilty, that He might bring us to God. (AMP)

It may seem a little unfair at the time, but the rewards of a great marriage are powerful for the kingdom of God.

PMS lasts for a few days, but the rewards of a good marriage  will last for eternity.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

EMOTIONAL SYMPTOMS OF – PMS

Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS) is a collection of physical and emotional symptoms related to a woman’s menstrual cycle.

According to a study published in the New England Journal of Medicine on January 22, 1998.  Cyclical fluctuations in blood levels  of the female sex hormones estrogen and progesterone play an important role in the syndrome’s onset.  So what may seem to some husbands as the “monster inside” during PMS may indicate the wife falls into the category of severe PMS symptoms experienced by about 2.5% of the female population.

The study provides evidence that cyclical  variations in estrogen and progesterone may lower levels of key brain chemicals, such as serotonin, in some of the women.

Symptoms of PMS usually last for about a week.  The most common symptom is low energy and fatigue. Other symptons are bloating, cramps, craving for sweet or salty foods, sore breasts, swollen feet or hands, headaches, acne and gastrointestinal problems.

Emotional symptoms of PMS are depression, irritability, anxiety, or mood swings.

Do you loose your playful teasing and joking?

Do you loose your carefree joy and instead feel like you are being CRITICIZED?

As hormonal change excels, your self-esteem is affected.

Psa.42:5 “Why art thou cast down, O my soul?  And why art thou disquieted in me?   Hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.”

David talked to himself during his depression.

Romans 12:2 “…be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind…”

You must SET new goals.

Trust in the promises of God.

PMS JOKE:  Definitive Signs of PMS are:

1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You’re adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You’re using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says, “How’s my driving?  Call 1 800 ***-****.”
6. You’re sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.

Keep in mind that only 2.5% of women suffer from severe PMS.

Don’t use that as an excuse to ACT ungodly.

There is never an excuse to pattern yourself after anyone but Jesus.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

HELP FOR MOODY MENOPAUSAL WOMEN

Menopause also know as “change of life” for women is a natural biological event in which the menses stops when the function of the ovaries begins to cease.

‘Change of life’ comes from a Greek word the root word which means “a critical time.”

We will be using some comments from the book, Woman, a formula for victorious living by Lu Ann Bransby.

80 years is the life expectancy for woman today.

Complex hormonal shifts change a girl into a woman at puberty, a woman into a mother during pregnancy, and terminate a woman’s reproductive life at menopause.

Eccl.3:1 “To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven.”

The early signs of menopause mood changes, abnormal vaginal bleeding, and hot flashes.

MENOPAUSE JOKE ON MOODS –

Safety tip: Your safer teasing a grizzly bear than telling a woman in menopause she’s moody.

Joint and muscle aches, urinary problems, and vaginal dryness are some of the late symptoms.

Menopause is God’s creative design for a woman’s body to cease the possibilities of conception.

In a recent BBC news article, “Women are Happier after Menopause”.  It quoted a Jubilee Report where 76% of post-menopausal women said their health was better, 75% said they had more fun, and 93% said they had more independence, and more choice in everything from work to leisure pursuits.

This is a time when women should take care of themselves more than ever before: mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

God ordained changes to be a part of our normal growth.

Psa.56:3 “What time am I afraid, I will trust in thee.”

Remember that you were once an infant, then a pre-schooler, then an adolescent, teenager, adult, wife,  and  now maybe a mother.

Change is growth and God has always been there for you.

Research the best kinds of medical or natural interventions.

CASE AND POINT:  When I went through menopause I started using natural progesterone.  It was like a miracle, taking away all the symptoms.  You can have a doctor test you and find out if you are low on estrogen or progesterone.  I would suggest that you use a natural form of it since the ones with chemicals have side affects.

Don’t forget to exercise and keep a healthy diet which is beneficial.

Challenge your thinking and renew your mind.

Be a blessing to your spouse and family, by taking care of yourself physically.

The Holy Spirit is there to guide you!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be successful.

STUDY YOUR SPOUSE

Would you like to know the best elixir of romance ever invented?  Having it can spell the difference between disappointment and satisfaction.  Here it is:  Knowledge

If you want to know how to best romance your wife, then become a student of her.  Find out what she likes and dislikes, discover her strengths and weaknesses, know her fears and hopes.  What does she consider romantic?  What does she consider a turn-off? What really revs her engine?  What places really make her dreamy-eyed?  What aromas make her heart beat faster?

Make it a point to really get to know your wife.  This will take work!  You can’t just hand her a questionnaire and ask her to fill it out.  You’ll need to listen to her, observe her, ask questions—in other words, study her.  It will take time, but it will be worth it.  Your diligent studies and the knowledge you gain of her will enable you to produce the most potent elixir of love available.

NOTE:  This article is from the book Family Life and Marriage Bible.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

CURING A STIFF NECK

DID YOU KNOW that a lot of neck problems are actually heart problems?  It’s true!  Whenever you see someone called “stiff-necked” in the Bible (2Chron.30:8), the underlying problem is always a hard heart.

So what’s the best way to loosen a stiff neck?  The biblical answer is submission.

We can all better submit to God when we voluntarily submit ourselves to a relationship of accountability.  This submission says to another believer, “I will give you the key to some private rooms in my life.”

Being accountable does not mean, of course, that you give this person the key to every room.  At first, you might give him the key to one very small closet in the basement.  After you experience the freedom that comes from opening that closet, you’ll find that you can turn over even more of those keys.

Submission provides protection.  String may hold a kite down, but that very string also allows it to soar.  A kite that breaks away from the string might experience freedom for a short while, but soon it comes crashing to earth.

Submission in the body of Christ works the same way.  By submitting your life to another to hold you up and to hold you down, you will experience one of the great protections available in the body of Christ.

NOTE:  This article is from the book Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is new post to help your marriage succeed.

YOUR HARD WORK BRINGS A REWARD

A boomerang is a curved piece of wood; when thrown, it will return to the initial position from where it came.

Lets view how this boomerang effect impacted the Proverbs 31 woman as we continue on as a “profile peeker.”

“Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.”  Prov.31:31

This is stating that we should give her the reward she has earned and let her enjoy the fruit she has planted.

This is a woman that goes the EXTRA mile and now she is going to be rewarded.

Prov.12:14 “A man shall be satisfied with good by the fruit of (his) mouth: and the recompence of a man’s hands shall be rendered unto him.”

THE MESSAGE:  “Well-spoken words bring satisfaction; well-done work has its own reward.”

What you give out, you will get back.

Heb.11:6  “…he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.”

God is a very generous rewarder.

Eph.6:8 “Knowing that whatsoever good thing any man does, the same shall he receive of the Lord…”

God is watching all the good things that we do in His name and he is now indebted to us to reward us.

He REWARDS us because it is in His word, not because we deserve it.

In Proverbs 2:5-11, there is a list of rewards for obedience.

1.)    Understanding the fear of God.  (v.5)

2.)    Finding the knowledge of God.  (v.5)

3.)    Given knowledge and understanding of God.  (v.6)

4.)    Given sound wisdom of God. (v.6-7)

5.)     Receive true understanding in righteousness, judgment, equity, and every good path.  (v.9)

6.)    Preserved by discretion. (v.11)

7.)    Understand that keeps. (v.11)

“IN THE GATES” refers to a public meeting place where business was conducted, like a city hall.

This shows that this woman was recognized publicly for all the good deeds she did for people.

God wants you known in your community; “…a city set on a hill…” for Gods honor and glory.

It could be assisting in your neighborhood, church, school, work, etc.

God wants us to do our work with zeal. 

Titus 2:14 “…a peculiar people, zealous of good works.”

Do you do “good works?”

Okay, but do you do good works with zeal?

Zeal is a feeling of strong eagerness.

Ask God to give you His heart!

Ask God to give you opportunities to do “random acts of kindness.”

Ask God to put you in a ministry that you are gifted for so that you may excel in it.

The Holy Spirit wants to partner with you to make you the spouse and “good worker” you are suppose to be.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be successful.

WHAT EXTERNAL BEAUTY HIDES

There is a program on TV called “Voice.”  At the beginning of the series, the celebrities have to pick a team of singers.  The catch is that they do not get to see the singers that are auditioning to be on a team.  They only get to hear their voices so their choice of pick is purely on their talent of singing.  After they either pick or reject them, then they get to see what they look like.

It sounds like a great idea to go through life being judged by how we use our abilities and talents rather than how we look.

Everyone is judged  by their looks, especially women.

Lets see how the Proverbs 31 woman dealt with “looks”.

Prov.31:30  “Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.

The word “favor” in Hebrew is chen.  This means GRACEFUL BEAUTY.

In other words, this would refer to a woman that has charm which is deceptive and beauty that is fleeting.

Will “ruby red lips” work?

There are two things said about external beauty: 1.) it is deceitful,  2.) it is vain.

Beauty many times DISAPPOINTS because the outer cover hides the inner deformities.

TV celebrities are often very DAMAGED people with addictions, troubled marriages, and an array of personal problems.

Vanity implies something that vanishes, and your physical body was not made to live forever.

Do you try to use your sexuality or charm and flirting to make you successful?

Don’t use cheap tricks to get ahead rather than the talents God has given you.

Real beauty is impossible to have unless you have the fear of the LORD in your life.

What causes us to draw near to God is the right kind of fear.

The right kind of fear is respect because he is our caring Heavenly Father who is there for us in the time of need.

Prov.1:7 “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.”

True piety alone commands permanent respect and affection.

Are you concerned about what God thinks?  Or are you more concerned about what other people think?

Do you sacrifice godliness for the latest sexy fashions?

A woman’s beauty cannot withstand the trials of life as they take their toll.

CASE AND POINT:  There was a woman that came to our church about 20 years ago.  She was absolutely beautiful.  She resembled a beautiful  actress in the 50’s named Loretta Young.  She left the church, got a divorce, and started using drugs.  About 10 years later she came back to church for a while.  I was shocked when I saw her.  Her teeth had rotted out, her skin was rashed and discolored.  She could barely walk because the drugs had made holes in her bones.  She was totally unkept.  Her hair was not combed and her dress was very shabby.  This did not look at all like the same woman.  I wanted to cry when I saw her.  She had destroyed her life along with her beautiful looks.

The virtuous woman in Proverbs 31 does not depend on beauty and charm to be successful in life.

Choose to age gracefully by realizing that your relationship with the LORD is the most important thing in your life.

With the transforming power of the Holy Spirit, you will truly become more beautiful as each day passes.

Beauty in the HEART puts beauty in the FACE!!!

NO MORE RUBY RED LIPS!!

Put beauty back in your heart right now.

The fear of the LORD opens that door.

Keep fighting the good fight and loving it!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be successful.

YOUR HUSBAND MARRIED THE BEST!

• What is “verbal intimacy?”  It is conversation where each person feels accepted no matter what he or she says, reveals, explains, or feels.  Complete openness to another human; absolute honesty that strips one of all pretension, posturing, and protection so that he can present himself naked and vulnerable to the other.  (By Jim Beam, LovePath International)  He learned in the 1970’s, in a graduate level psychology class,that the most common thing men want from prostitutes is a listening ear.  His searching has found that phone sex callers crave someone to listen without judgment.  Thousands upon thousands of men pay women to listen to them!

Let’s take a look at this Proverbs woman again as a “profile peeker.”  She must have known about “verbal intimacy.”

Prov.31:29  “Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excelled them all.”

The other verses were talking about her, not to her.   Apparently it is her husband who is speaking these words.

This is the husband’s praise in his own words.

The word “virtuously” in Hebrew is Chayil.  It is a force, valor, strength, might and power.

What makes this so special is that this husband had to know that his wife was not the ONLY godly woman around.

In spite of him knowing there are other godly women around, he praises his own wife by telling her that she excels them all.

That sends CHILLS up my back!

He is telling her that she has raised herself above them all and the rest are incomparable.

Stay with me girls as we DISSECT this.

When your husband picked his wife, he married the best.

HE MARRIED THE BEST!!

He married the best!!

To your husband, when he married you, he was convinced that he was marrying a woman that surpassed all others.

You were far ABOVE better than all the other girls he had met.

Your husband found a priceless gem and you were to him a treasure chest.

He married you because you were the best woman in the WHOLE WIDE WORLD.

In his mind, you excelled all other woman.

Has that changed??

Have you changed??

Not to worry!!  You are still the one who excels them all.

You need to STOP right now.  Take two deep breaths.

This part is only for “Women of Valor.”

Ask the Holy Spirit to show you what areas you have changed in, that you should not have.

Where or what does your attention go to?

Where or what does your finances go to?

Where or what does your free time go to?

Who or what do you appear to be enjoying?

Ask the Holy Spirit to show you what AREAS you do need to change in.

PARTNER with the Holy Spirit.

Are you still his brightest crown?

Are you still his best friendly friend?

Are you his COMFORTER in times of distress or do you tell him what a mess up he is?

Remember you are his girlfriend and cheerleader.

Do you use “verbal Intimacy” to make your husband feel accepted?

You can do it!  You did it once before.

You go girl!

That is what he came home for.

He’s in the right house with the right wife.

Ole!!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

GETTING YOUR HUSBAND TO PRAISE YOU

One of the main factors in what makes marriages last in a survey, was that each participant had a higher opinion of their spouse than the spouse had of themselves.

Lets see how this applies to the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31.

Prov.31:28 “Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.”

This is a woman who is honored by her own family members.

There is something special when your own family PRAISES you because they have watched you in every situation and know your true character.

Such encouragement is something that every woman thrives on.

It also reveals what a great character her husband has since he TEACHES his children to appreciate their mother.

You are a blessed woman if your children appreciate you.

CHILDREN usually appreciate their moms when they are little, but as they grow older, they have a tendency to take mom for granted.

Most moms are not fully appreciated till their kids have children.

My husband is a real blessing in my life when any one of my children are not expressing appreciation for something I have gone out of my way to do for them.  He takes that opportunity to tell me how much he appreciates all that I do for his children.

I try not to be a sensitive person concerning my feelings but my husband can tell when I am deeply hurt about something.

Each day brings new opportunities for us to MENTOR and be a part of our children’s lives.

As our children mature they become grateful at how we shaped their lives.

This virtuous woman seeks FIRST the kingdom of God and that is why praises were added on to her.  (Matt. 6:33)

In 1902, the New York Central Railroad used plush crimson carpet to direct people as they boarded their 20^th Century Limited passenger train.  This is believed to be the origin of the phrase “red carpet treatment” according to Wikipedia.

The Proverbs 31 woman, was given the “red carpet treatment” of praises, by her beloved husband and children.

Do those who know you the best, praise you the most?

Do you GIVE loving discipline and gentle guidance?

Is wise counsel on your available lips?

Are you a GODLY example?

If you have invested yourself into those you love, you will be rewarded by them.

There is no GREATER happiness than to have your children and husband reverence you.

If you seek praises as your number one goal, you will never find it.

Woman who SEEK the Lord first, find true praises.

Is your heart devoted to Him?

God SATISFIES the heart that is devoted to him.

FIGHTING THE GOOD FIGHT AND LOVING IT!!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

ARE YOU A LAZY WIFE?

Is there a spy lurking in your house?

CASE AND POINT:  I remember we had purchased these two Shih-Tzu puppies.  They were as cute as can be and would get lost in our house by  crawling into my husband’s slippers.  One of their favorite things to do was to get into any bag that we brought home from the store.  Some days we would come home from shopping and put our purses or bags down and go take care of other issues that were more important at that moment.  By the time we returned, all packages were ripped open and everything was mauled.  The inside of our purses would be left with ripped gum or mint packages with the contents gone.  Lipsticks would be eaten away.  If guests left their purses down, we would end the evening with apologies of the actions of these little critters.

These puppies watched every move we made and spied out every bag that came into our house.

These puppies did this for SELFISH reasons, but as we read about this Proverbs 31 woman, we see some similarities.

Let’s continue to take another “profile peek” into this virtuous woman to dissect her actions.

Pro.31:27 “She looketh well to the ways of her household and eateth not the bread of idleness.”

This verse implies that she was a watchman over her home:  A SPY.

A definition of a “watchman” is a person who watches over and protects property, assets or person.

This godly woman is alertly looking for any danger that may hurt her family.

Are you WATCHING out for all the dangers on the internet?  Pornography?

Do you know where your children are and who they are with?  How about evil companions?

What about UNGODLY entertainment?  Are you aware of their choice in music and what your family is watching on television?

Your number one job as a parent is to be fully aware of what is happening in your child’s life.

Just like our puppies, you need to get into those bags and SNIFF OUT anything you need to look through.

Are your children attending church services?  Are they praying?  Are they reading God’s word?

This is all a part of your family responsibility!!

The next issue in this verse is that she did not indulge in slothfulness.

She is an ENERGETIC, organized person who carries out all her household responsibilities.

The word “idle” means sluggish or lazy.

Taking care of your house is a lot of hard work and if yours is looking lovely, it did not get there by chance.

If you have created a place of beauty and comfort for your family, you deserve to be BLESSED.

Right now I want to bring this subject right into your home?

If you are a woman whose home is not a show place, may I help you?

You can change today.  Let’s take baby steps.

Remember, if you are asking the Holy Spirit to guide your family, He lives in your home also.

If your place is cluttered and you have no space for items, rent a storage space.  This one act can save your marriage.  They are not expensive and you can find small areas.

If you do not like to clean, you have a lot of options.

CALL a cleaning service to do your deep cleaning.

If you don’t have the funds, find a friend who loves to organize and clean.  Then trade chores with them.  You offer your services to cook for that person or do other chores you enjoy that they don’t like as bill paying, ironing, gardening, child sitting, etc.

Other suggestions are to take on one room at a time.

Ask God to help you.

This is so important to God and your spouse.

If he has asked or hinted about this, you better get moving in the RIGHT direction.

Forget about your next shopping spree and put that money into making your house a home.

Don’t be a Queen of a “pigs pen!”

Do I here an “oink” “oink” girls?  I hope not!!

Fighting the good fight and loving it!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.