LOVE YOUR SPOUSE

MARITAL GOSSIPING IS DOING EVIL

A flame-thrower is a potent weapon with great psychological impact upon unprepared soldiers, inflicting a particularly horrific death.

I know you must be thinking what kind of person it must take to do such an ugly thing to a person.

Well, Gods word lists people who do such things and it says that the person who does harm deserves death.

Rom.1:28-32 “…since they did not think it worthwhile to retain the knowledge of God, he gave them over to a depraved mind, to do what ought not to be done. They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent (disrespectful), arrogant (prideful), and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these things but also approve of those who practice them.” (NIV)

Rom.1:32 “…they not only continue to do these things but also approve of those who practice them.” (NIV) God condemns anyone who embraces a lifestyle of sin.

WHO IS KNOWN FOR DOING THIS!!! Wives!!!!!

You gossip and slander about your husband and you think it is in secret but it isn’t. In heaven every word is being recorded.

YESSSS!!!! You go to your mother or sisters house and you have a flame-throwing session.

YESSSS!!! You go to your best friend, or friends or work and you have a flame-throwing session.

YESSSS!! You go to your church or social engagements and you have a flame-throwing session.

You think it is ok because he is YOUR husband. No! No! No!

He is not yours, He is Gods!! It is your job to protect his reputation.

PROV.31:11-12 “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her…She will do him good and NOT EVIL all the days of her life.”

What is more severe MURDER or GOSSIP? The apostle Paul said they are both sins equally worthy of death.

Can any wife find me a verse that differs from what I’ve found so we can all start slandering and gossiping about the love of our life. The one who provides and protects us. The father of our children. The one we took vows with.

Wives many times gossip to gain attention or to be noticed.

DON’T GOSSIP ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND TO ANYONE! I DON’T CARE IF IT IS A RELATIVE OR BEST FRIEND!!

Okay, now you made me yell!

How would you like to go to a family event, or your husband’s work, or a social event, and have everyone stare at you like you were a REAL IDIOT because of things your spouse has said behind your back.

That is EXACTLY what they think of HIM.

“Well everyone vents and so do I. I don’t mean any harm!”

You are hurting GOD!

His word, is His word!!

Gossiping about your spouse could end or break up your marriage. Prov.16:28 “A forward man soweth strife: and a whisperer (gossiper) separateth chief friends.

Gossipers are not very intelligent; they tell everything that happens. Prov.29:11 “A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise keepeth it in till afterwards.”

Stop the gossip! Prov.26:20”Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth.

Proverbs 26:20 talks about “fire”. A flame-thrower.

Let’s put this to practice: Eph.4:29 “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths (about your husband), but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

Listen up spouses!! ARE YOU A GOOD FLAME-THROWER??

Are you GOOD at it? Are you GREAT at it?

Put down the AMMO!!!

Get another HOBBY! You are hurting GOD!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

SEXUAL IMMORALITY IN MARRIAGE

The definition of Masturbation is the manual stimulation of the genital organs (of yourself or another) for sexual pleasure.

Most researchers found 40% to 80% of women do this on an average of once a month.

I am not aware if these percentages are the same for Christian wives, but I am aware that I have had to counsel single Christian woman on this subject.

Since this is a sensitive subject putting the words masturbation and Christian together, I will let you know that God put it on my heart to address this subject.

Masturbation is done in the context of lust, so this verse is important.  Matt.5:27 “Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time.  Thou shalt not commit adultery”

Lust is wrong inside or outside of marriage.

Before we are married, it is our desire for a mate that leads us to marry.  This is normal and natural.

1Thess.4:3-5 “For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour; Not in the lust of concupiscence, even as the Gentiles which know not God.”

Paul is telling them that part of sanctification is abstaining from sexual immorality.

Sexual appetite, outside of marriage is sinful.

For a single person the choices are abstinence or marriage.

Prov.25:28 “A man (woman)  without self-control  is as defenseless as a city with broken-down walls.”

Masturbation falls under the category of “uncleanness.”.

MASTURBATION = SELF ABUSE.

1Cor.7:3-5 “Let the husband render unto the wife due: and likewise also the wife unto the husband.  The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.

The wife violates her husband when she masturbates.

People who masturbate often imagine themselves in wild sexual situations.

You can develop self-control!!!!!

It doesn’t solve anything to IGNORE the problem.

Let God be your closest confidant.

Gal.5:16  “This I say then, Walk in the (Holy) Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.”

1.  Repent.

2.  Fall in love with God!

3.  Ask the Holy Spirit to totally control your body daily.

4.  Praise God all day, without ceasing.

 5.  Read your word and make it personal.

6.  Surround yourself with prayer warriors.

 Eph.6:13-17 “Wherefore take unto you the whole ARMOUR of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.  Stand therefore, having your LOINS GIRD ABOUT WITH TRUTH, and having on the BREASTPLATE of RIGHTEOUSNESS: And your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel of peace.  Above all, taking the SHIELD OF FAITH, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.  And take the HELMET OF SALVATION, and the SWORD of the Spirit, which is the word of God.”

NOTE:   Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

TALKING…FACE TO FACE

If you want to touch your wife deeply, look into her soul through her eyes.  She is longing for intimate conversation!  Touching base by phone is fine, but for a woman, that’s like watching an old black-and-white TV.

One of her top romantic needs is to be heard and understood by her man.  She longs for openness, a sharing of dreams, hopes, desires, and even disappointments, through focused conversation.

You might be thinking, Time out, Dennis!  A conversationalist?  I’m a man of few words.

Funny, that’s what Moses said when God asked him to be his spokesman:”Moses said to the Lord, ‘O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past or since you have spoken to your servant.  I am slow of speech and tongue” (Ex.4:10).  And what did the Lord tell him?  “Who gave man his mouth?  Who makes him deaf or mute? …Now go; I will help you speak and will teach you what to say” (vv.11,12).

You may say, “Now that’s fine for Moses leading the nation of Israel, but will God give me words to better communicate with your wife?”  My answer:  Absolutely.  He cares about your wife and your marriage.  The Holy Spirit still guides men (and women) in what they need to say.

Are you wondering how this is going to work?  It’s easier than you may think.  Start by praying and asking God to help you.  Then practice answering your wife’s questions with more than one sentence.  It’s okay if there’s silence for a while, but work on really sharing with her on an intimate level what you are thinking and feeling.  And if you don’t know, keep on praying and asking God to help you.  He will.  And He may use your wife to do it!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

NOTE:  This post came from the book Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey

FACE DOWN YOUR DIFFICULTIES

YOUR COVENANT OF COMMITMENT to God and each other is what remains after reality has edited what you thought marriage would be.  Think back to your wedding.  You stood before God at the altar and promised never to leave or forsake your spouse, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse.  When you stare “worse” in the face, you have a choice.

Will you honor that commitment?

At this crossroads, you can reject your vows, believing there is no hope; or you can trust God,believing that He is able to help you rekindle the smoldering ashes and transform them into something vibrant.

When King Hezekiah faced disaster at the hands of the invading Assyrians, he humbly turned to God for rescue– and God erased the Assyrian threat.  The same thing can happen in your marriage!  As some dear friends said to us when reached a very difficult time of testing in our family, “What an awesome opportunity to see God work!”

Your marriage will face some challenging seasons.  All marriages do.  When you trust God to renew your commitment to one another and to rekindle your romance, you set your marriage on a course to experience the season of mature, committed love.  This season is well worth the work!  We know.  We’ve experienced it.

NOTE:  This article is from the book Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

STAY OUT OF HUSBANDS BACKPACK

Everyone has heard of the statement “The more, the merrier!”

When I was a little girl, there was a comic strip called “Dagwood and Blondie.”   Everyone read the comics every Sunday.  Dagwood always ate stacked sandwiches.  So a big sandwich was called a “Dagwood Sandwich.”

When it comes to an ice cream cone or a sandwich, a “triple decker” is cool.

When it comes to Christianity, a “triple decker” could mean something else.

Let’s see what Jesus was teaching His disciples on this subject.

Matt.18:21-22 “Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him?  Till seven times?  Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.”

Jesus was giving them a teaching on forgiveness.

This was not an easy thing for the disciples as it was not for us when we realized we had to forgive people we didn’t want to forgive.

Right now I want to look at “compounding sin.”

FIRST lets’ talk to women who are on their second marriage.

How often has your husband done or said something that has infuriated you because that was what your first husband did and you hate it.

You told yourself that you would never take that again off any man.  You married your second husband because he was different.  You were sure he would never act like that and if he did.  There is the door.

Sucker once but not twice!

So you DEVOUR him.  How dare him!  You sucker punch him!

You contemplate LEAVING him or having him leave.

You are hurt.

You are COMPOUNDING someone elses sin and putting it in your husbands’ back pack!!

Your poor husband is “sucker punched” because he has no idea what got you so mad.  He has no idea what he has done.  He loves you but now he thinks he is married to a nut!!

Get it OUT of his backpack!  It is not his and don’t let him carry it.

Bury it in the deepest part of the ocean.

SECOND, you may have grown up in a home where your dad was very abusive to your mom.  Physically or mentally.

You decided that you are not ever going to be like your mom.  A small part of you is a man hater but you will never admit that.

Not all men.  Just the ones that act like “dear ol’ dad.”

All of a sudden, your husband says something or does something that triggers off a thought.  He is just like dad!

He better not think I am like my mother and will put up with his garbage.

No!!  Not me!!

I’ll show this dude right now who I am and who he isn’t.

When I am done, he will never do or say that again!

No!!  Not to me!!

You hit him with everything you have.  You make sure he is down and will stay there for quite a while.   How dare him!

Poor guy!  He is not your dad!   Get a grip!

You have just been “sucker punched” by a lying devil.

This is exactly why Jesus said to forgive “seven times seventy.”

Jesus knows every trick of the devil and he wants you to live in peace.

That is how much he loves you.

You are COMPOUNDING someone elses sin and putting it in your husband’s backpack.

Don’t make him carry that UGLY thing around!  He didn’t do anything wrong.

Maybe you are mad at someone at work or at home.  Maybe you are mad at a friend or relative.  Why are you COMPOUNDING that on his back.

Well, he does that to me!?!   Forgive “Seven times seventy.”

Your forgiveness of others is the condition for God to forgive you.  Mark 11:26 “”But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses.”

CASE AND POINT:  As a new Christian, I was very upset with my child who kept doing what I asked them not to.  Every time they did it again, my anger would rise higher than the time before.  It finally got to a point where they no longer were being disciplined for their action.  They were being disciplined for all the other times they had done that same thing.  God convicted me about COMPOUNDING.  I knew I had to let it go and just deal with the one incident.

FREE your husband from “triple decker” COMPOUNDING!  You will free yourself.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

HOW GOD SHOWS YOU OFF

A DAY AT THE SPA!  HURRAY!!

I am sure that everyone knows what a SPA is but I will describe it for you anyway.

SPA is a brand name of a mineral water from Spa, Belgium.

But our idea of a spa is a thermal bath of warm water where the water is believed to have special health–giving properties.

When you arrive at a SPA you usually are given a robe, slippers, a drink and you are in the atmosphere of soothing music.  There are also an array of other services like a massage or a facial.

It is where you go to in order to PAMPER your body.

Let’s look at God’s word and see some verses concerning your body.

1Cor.6:19-20  “What?  Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God , and ye are not your own?  For ye are bought with a price:  therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.”

The Greek word for “temple” is translated a highly decorated shrine.

Because the Corinthians were Greek they knew how impressive shrines were.

CASE AND POINT:  In Moscow, Russia, they have a gigantic white marble  cathedral with golden domes that is called “Christ the Savior.”  It is the largest Orthodox church in the world.  It is a memorial to the sacrifices of the Russian people.   Anyone going into that city sees that cathedral because it is in the center of the city.

Every country loves to show off its shrines.

God is no different!  God desires to show you and your spouse off.

He says that your marriage is a “city on a hill.”

When the Holy Spirit came into your heart, His work inside you was so glorious it was called a marvelous temple of God.

If you have been dealing with a poor self-image, this is the greatest self-image BOOSTER.

He has built for himself a beautiful temple within your heart–and that is who you are right now.

Now live like the magnificently decorated cathedral of God’s Spirit that  YOU ARE.

Here is a list of the commands about the body (Romans 12:1):

1.  Yield it to God (Romans 11:1; 6:13-20)

2.  Make it a living sacrifices (Rom.12:1)

3.  Make it holy (Rom.11:1, 1Cor.3:17)

4.  Make it accepted of God (Rom.12:1)

5.  Make it full of light (Mt.6:22)

6.  Reckon it dead to sin ((Rom.6:11)

7.  Reckon it alive to God (Rom.6:11)

8.  Refuse its slavery to sin (Rom.6:12)

9.  Mortify its deeds (Rom.8:13)

10. Refuse to defile it (1Cor.3:17)

11. Make it a fit temple for the Holy Spirit (1Cor.3:16-17; 6:13-20)

12. Make it free from fornication (1Cor.6:12-13)

13. Glorify God in it (1Cor.6:20)

14. Keep it in control (1Cor.9:27)

15. Put off its sin (Col.2:11)

The Apostle Paul  is letting us know that he never wants to be disqualified.

He is pouring his heart out to us.

In the Greek, the word “castaway” refers to a person who was once HONORED and RESPECTED. He has now lost his testimony and forfeited his reputation and is now shamed.

By mastering your body, you can now use it as an instrument in your MARRIAGE.

God desires that you as a spouse, be a shrine.

Can I Get Real? Christ paid a price and made an investment into your life with His blood.  He has compelled you to live a righteous life so he can use you as a shrine.  In return for that, you get to spend eternity in heaven.  It doesn’t get any better than that.  He has left his Holy Spirit as a helper so you are not alone.  JUMP at the opportunity to be a SHRINE for Jesus!!!!!

ARE YOU WITH ME GIRLS????

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

ONLY THE HUMBLE LEARN

THE BIBLE REPEATEDLY TEACHES that growth cannot occur without a teachable heart.  A teachable spirit is one of the most important components in any marriage.

A growing desire to learn requires the ability to freely admit fault and to ask forgiveness.  Ultimately, it means a willingness to do what is right and what God wants, regardless of the personal sacrifice or cost.  At the heart of teachability lies humility.

The foreigners who settled the towns vacated by the exiled Israelites had to humble themselves and learn what God required of those who would inhabit His land.  Many of them died because they did not fear the Lord (2Kings 17:24-27).

It is imperative in our relationships to retain our ability to say, “I have not arrived,” “I have more to learn,” and “Please help me develop in this area.”  Regularly ask God to give you and your mate teachable hearts willing to do all He has commanded.

“But my mate is not teachable!”  you object.  Then begin to pray now that he or she will hunger and thirst for progress and not get satisfied with mediocrity.  Also, model a teachable heart.  Teachability can be contagious!  You may be the best example of this humble virtue your mate ever sees.

NOTE:  This article came from Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

PUT YOUR SPOUSE FIRST

Have you made the decision that, no matter what, your spouse is number one (obviously, after Jesus Christ)?  You married each other for life.  You are not guaranteed how long that life together will be.  Putting your spouse first says, in effect, “I choose to make the most of whatever time we will share on this earth.”

At one level, this means making sure your mutual needs for romance and physical oneness get met.  At another level, it means choosing to give each other the gift of mutually pleasing one another however you can.

Do you have a heart for your spouse and his or her needs?  Do you show appreciation for your mate’s efforts to remain pure in thinking and faithful to you in your marriage?  Do you value how God designed him or her and show it with any kind of admiration and gratitude?

It has been said that less than 20 percent of all married couples have conversations about sex.  Is that true of you?  Do the two of you talk about what you like and don’t like?  Do you know what would please your mate?  You can’t enflame your romance if you don’t know each other’s needs and what would communicate love to your spouse.

NOTE:  This article came from the book Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

WHY WIVES HATE SUBMISSION

Today we are going to learn to fight like a girl, wives.

When I first accepted Christ, there was a verse that drove me nuts!!!

I really wanted to rip it out of my bible.

It was Ephesians 5:22 “Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.”

I drew the conclusion that it meant I was not to have an OPINION or a PERSONALITY.

It seemed like everywhere I went, somebody was teaching on “submission.”

BOY WAS I WRONG!! THAT IS NOT WHAT IT MEANS AT ALL!!

The apostle Paul was continuing his thought from Eph.5:21 “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.”

In this scripture Paul was letting everyone know that they must submit to each other in order to accomplish something for the kingdom of God.

In Ephesians 6, Paul had spoke about CHILDREN submitting to their parents.

Paul was trying to show the great importance of the Christian marriage and he expressed the importance of a wife to submit to her husband.

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?

It means that you recognize there is an order of authority in the family.

It shows that you recognize that there is an order of authority in the Christian family and as a wife, you are a part of an ordained TEAM.

You are NOT more important than the working team.

When you submit to God, it means that you recognize that authority.
When you submit to the police, it means that you recognize that authority.
When you submit to your employer, it means that you recognize that authority.

Submission does not means INFERIORITY or SILENCE!!

Submission means sub-mission!!

In other words girls, it means that you are on a MISSION!

WE ARE HERE TO CHANGE THE WORLD!!

Our “mission” is to OBEY and GLORIFY our LORD.

That “mission” is more important than your individual desires.

You are not putting yourself under your husband. You are submitting yourself under the commission of God for your family

.
What do the words mean, ”…as unto the LORD”

1. Your submission to your husband is part of your Christian walk.
2. This is a different way of life for you, that sets you apart.
3. This has nothing to do with your husbands intelligence, giftedness or capabilities.
4. This has nothing to do with whether your husband is right on a particular issue. It has to do with Jesus being right.

If you are not married, you better find a guy you can respect. RESPECT!

You might say, “Why should I obey him if I think he is wrong?

SUBMISSION IS TESTED IN DISAGREEMENT!!

How would you know that you are submissive if nothing ever happens in your marriage that you DISAGREE with?

Fight like a girl, fight for your mission!

SUB-MISSION IS A MISSION!  It’s a mission to keep peace in your family!

SUB-MISSION IS A MISSION!  It’s a mission to bring comfort to your children!

FIGHT FOR YOUR MISSION!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

A MAN’S FAVORITE PLACE

NO, we are not talking about fights in an arena. No…no.

NOR, are we talking about boxed presents. No!

NO. This is about something that our husbands love to do regularly.

In our husbands brain, there is a part, which is for “nothing”

There are absolutely no thoughts about anything in this part of a mans brain.

Does this seem STRANGE? Well, it seems strange to us GIRLS?!?

It definitely DOES NOT seem strange to God!!

Psa.139:13-14 “…thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and  wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works…”.

In Mark Gungors dvd called “Laugh your way to a Better Marriage”, he calls this area a “nothing box”.

This is a place where men can go and just EXIST.

This place is his favorite place to be.

I AM TELLING YOU THE TRUTH!!!

In Mark Gungors book, he talks about neurophysiologist Professor Ruben Gur of the University of Pennsylvania. The Professor showed that 70 percent of the electrical activity of men’s brains shut down when they were in a resting state.

SEVENTY PERCENT!!

Women’s brains maintain a full 90 percent of their electrical activity.

OKAY LADIES! HOLD THE CHEERING!!

This doesn’t mean that WOMEN are smarter than their husband.

Women are MULTI-TASKERS and they concentrate on several things at the same time.

Your husband, who thinks very intently, has a keen single-minded focus.

Your husband has the ability to focus on one task and EXCEL at it.

This is why we see men in the women’s industries and they are the best in the world. (Chefs, hair designers, clothing designers, etc.)

Men are champions at what they do because they have laser-like PRECISION.

This is because they have the ability to block everything out including their WIVES! Ha!Ha!

That is the part us wives have DIFFICULTY with!!

Wives think ,”This guy is thinking about something and he doesn’t want me to know!” “WHY?!?!?” “I TELL HIM EVERYTHING!!”

HE’S HOLDING OUT ON ME!!

We become mad and the poor guy doesn’t even know what he has done wrong.

He is trying to REST HIS MIND!

Wives, if this is the place that your husband desires to be, then you need to leave him alone!!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

GO SHOPPING !!!