LOVE YOUR SPOUSE

UPHILL BATTLE

We will continue on with the topic of “not blaspheming God’s word.”

In Titus we are told, “…to be sober…”

Titus 2:4 “That they may teach the young women to be sober…”

The word “sober” in the Greek means TO MAKE OF SOUND MIND.

The dictionary says, “dignified and somber in manner or character and committed to keeping promises.”

This had to be very important or it would not be in the bible.

To have a “sound mind” is a 24 hour job.

Joyce Meyers wrote a great book called “Battlefield of the Mind.”  The book teaches you to arm yourself with, the Word of God, praise, prayer, and other powerful spiritual weapons.

I will be using some of the comments from that book for this post.

Your actions are a direct result of your thoughts.

You will have a negative life if you have negative thoughts.

If you renew your mind with God’s word in Romans 12:2 we are promised ,”…the good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”

Many of the problems we experience in life are due to problems that are rooted in our thinking pattern.

Do you accept all the thinking Satan OFFERS you?

Don’t ever give up, because you are changing little by little every day.

Your life will change for the BETTER  as you change your mind.

2Cor.10:4,5 (MSG) “The tools of our trade aren’t for marketing or manipulation, but they are for demolishing that entire massively corrupt culture.  We use our powerful God-tools for smashing warped philosophies, tearing down barriers erected against the truth of God, fitting every loose thought and emotion and impulse into the structure of life shaped by Christ.”

The devil argues with us; he offers us theories and reasonings.

1. You are engaged in a war.
2. Your enemy is Satan.
3. The mind is the battlefield.
4.  The devil works diligently to set up strongholds in your mind.
5.   He does it through strategy and deceit (through well-laid plans and deliberate deception).
6.  He is in no hurry; he takes his time to work out his plan.

How to flow in the mind of Christ:

1. Think positive thoughts.
2. Be God-minded.
3. Be “God-Loves–Me” minded.
4. Have an exhortative mind.
5. Develop a thankful mind.
6. Be Word-minded.

Rom.8:6  “Now the mind of the flesh (which is sense and reason without the Holy Spirit) is death (death that comprises all the miseries arising from sin, both here and hereafter).  But the mind of the (Holy) Spirit is life and (soul) peace (both now and forever).

God wants obedience, not sacrifice.

Obedience and disobedience: Both have CONSEQUENCES.

Bring every thought into captivity to Christ.

Would you rather LIVE with worry, doubt, confusion, depression, anger, and feelings of condemnation?

If you suffer from negative thoughts, God wants to help you.

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow’s post as we continue on “Wives don’t blaspheme God’s Word.  Daily there is a new post.

MARRIAGE FILLS OUR GAP

Gen. 2:18 clearly outlines one major purpose for marriage: for one spouse to complete the other.  “It is not good that man should be alone,” God declared.  “I will make him a helper comparable to him.”

Adam may have lived in the middle of a perfect garden, but he was alone.  God created Eve to be his comparable helper and companion.  The Apostle Paul echoed this teaching when he wrote, “Nevertheless, neither is man independent of woman nor woman independent of man, in the Lord”( 1Cor.11:11).  We really do need each other!   As william Barclay’s DAILY STUDY BIBLE put it, “In the Lord, woman is nothing without man nor man without woman.”

Perhaps you saw the original Rocky film, before Sylvester Stallone started spinning off sequels.  Do you remember the love relationship of Rocky and Adrian?  She is the little wallflower who worked in the pet shop, the sister of Paulie, an insensitive goon who works at the meat house and who wants to become a debt collector for a loan shark.  Paulie feels suspicious of Rocky’s intentions toward Adrian.  He asks the fighter one day, “What’s the attraction?  I don’t see it.”

I doubt that Sylvester Stallone, who wrote the script, has any idea that his words perfectly exemplify the principle for a suitable helper described in Genesis 2.  Rocky declare, “I dunno–she fills gaps.”

Paulie bristles. “What gaps?” he asks.

“She got gaps; I got gaps–together we fill the gaps.”

In his simple but profound way, Rocky hits upon a great truth.  He means that without him, Adrian has empty places in her life; and without her, he has empty places in his.  But when the two of them get together, they fill those blank spots in one another.

That’s exactly what God did when He fashioned a helpmate suitable for Adam.  She filled his empty places and he filled hers.

I’ve never had any doubt that I need Barbara.  I know she fills my gaps.  I need her because she tells me the truth about myself, both the good, the bad, and the otherwise.  I need Barbara to add another perspective of life, of relationships, and of people.  She also adds variety and spice to my life.  She’s an artist; I am not.  Her pace is slower than mine.  She helps me pull back on the throttle and helps me enjoy life.  She has encouraged me, for instance,  to read more–and I now actually enjoy it.  That’s what a helpmate does!

NOTE:  Don’t forget tomorrow’s post.  Daily there is a new post.

NOTE: This article was taken from Family Life Bible Study by Dennis and Barbara Rainey

SATURDAY – QUESTION & ANSWER

Question #1.  What characteristics in personality kill the flame in a marriage?

Answer #1.  Personalities and characteristics are not what kill the flame in a marriage.  There are an array of reasons for the flame in a marriage to seize.

1.  Husbands have needs and wives have needs.  When these needs are not met, the flame goes out.  At that point each person can decide that only God can meet their need and they can become a better person in Christ.  Worldly couples usually decide to find someone who will meet those needs and the marriage starts to deteriorate.

2.  In Eph.5:33, it tells the husband to love his wife and the wife to respect her husband.  In the book, Love & Respect by Emerson Eggerich, it calls this the “crazy cycle”.  When the wife doesn’t respect her husband, then he does not show her love by meeting her needs.  When the husband doesn’t show love to his wife, she decides not to respect him.  They get on this merry-go-round until one of them gets off.  There needs to be a decision to do your part whether the other one does or not.  When your spouse sees that you have made an effort inspite of how the other one acts, they fall back in love with you.

3.  The devil has many devices and he hates marriages.  He knows that you are a double cord and it will be hard for him to get in.  God hates divorce, and the devil tries to destroy the work of God.  You need to have the attitude of pleasing God no matter what goes on in your marriage.  That means making your husband a better man than when you found him.  Not by nagging or trying to change him, but coming along side and encouraging him  you can.

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow’s post.  Daily there is a new post.

WIVES OVER 50

A few decades ago there was a song telling about the different stages of life.  After each stage, Peggy Lee would sing the words, “Is that all there is?”

Those words indicate that after each stage in life, there was a big disappointment for her.

This is where a lot of women over 50 are at after they have raised their children, been a responsible wife and worked through the issues of life.

In Titus, Paul is talking to the older women specifically.

Titus 2;3 “The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness…”

This is your time to ENJOY the rewards of maturity.

Child bearing and monthly period discomfort are some of the areas God has just relieved you from.

You have lived in the “rat race of life”, up to this point.

Now you can LIVE for God, your husband, and yourself.

Charles Spurgeon, a famous Christian preacher who brought revival to England said these words, “And how beautifully can an aged Christian woman, by her kindly example, be a teacher of good things!  There is no more charming sight under heaven, I think, than that of an elderly Christian lady, whose words and whose whole life are such as becometh the gospel of Christ.”

In those days, I am sure that the average life span for women at that time was under 50 years.

No matter what you or anyone else thinks of you, Gods opinion is the only one that should count in your life.

God has five commands for the older woman which are not suggestions.  He commands them of us.

1. Live holy.  (vs.3)
2. Be not slanderers.  (vs.3)
3. Not given to wine.  (vs.3)
4. Be teachers of good things.  (vs.3)
5. Teach the young women.  (vs. 4)

The word “slander” in the Greek is pronounced diabolos  which means DEVIL.

Every time you gossip about somebody, you are partaking in the devils perfect plan.

It is our responsibility to prepare this next generation with GODLY womanhood.

I am not saying it, the word of God is saying it.

Women, if we do not do this, then we will fail to be what God wants us to be.

Are you more mature and serene with this NEW season of life?

Are you more well poised and charming?

Most “boomers” now days are mentally fruitful and full of energy.

Don’t let the devil lure you into his party;  the PITY PARTY.

We all watch TV and see so many items geared for the “boomers.”

Everyone wants to stay young forever but it will not happen.

Let’s enjoy  ourselves and do the things God has called us to do.

Psa.92:14 “They shall still bear fruit in old age;They shall be fresh and flourishing.”

This is a promise from God, but you have to start today in order to be fresh and flourishing in the future.

You have a lot to give.

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow’s post.  Daily there is a new post.

WIVES BLASPHEME GOD’S WORD  

Blaspheme is any insulting remark or curse, even attributing to Satan the works of the Word of God.

You might be a wife and you are telling yourself that you would never blaspheme Gods Word.

Let’s search the scriptures and see what they say about wives.

Titus 2:3-5 “The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”

This is exciting that the Apostle Paul wants to give us some clear guidance so that we don’t make mistakes.

He wants us to have a fruitful life and not blaspheme Gods Word.

Different magazines, like Forbes, will print the list of the top 100 most powerful women.  The list will be of women who hold a political office, presidents, chairmen and CEO’s of large companies.

None of these women were noted to be “powerful” or “influential” because of their work as a mother or wife.

We can’t take this list lightly!!

God has given us, who will read and study his word, insight into what God considers to be “influential” and “powerful”.

First he tells the older woman what they should be doing.

Titus 2:3 “Guide older women into lives of reverence so they end up as neither gossips or drunks, but models of goodness.”  (MSG)

These are some pretty harsh words for the older women.

Notice that it says to be “models of goodness”.   Goodness is expected of both the younger and older women.

All women, younger and older, are expected to practice reverence.  They are not to be gossipers or drunkards but practice the goodness of God in their lives.

No woman is exempt from these commands.

What makes a woman successful and significant according to the world, is entirely different from what Gods view is.

Be alert!!  You will find yourself leaning towards what the world thinks if you do not keep your mind in God’s word.

That is BLASPHEME!!

That is BLASPHEME of God’s Word!!

Titus 2:4-5 “By looking at them, the younger women will know how to love their husbands and children, be virtuous and pure, keep a good house, be good wives.”  (MSG)

CASE AND POINT:  I remember as a new Christian, I was thrilled to see this scripture.  I felt like I was the only one on earth having trouble loving my husband and children.  I thought it should come automatically as a women.  I was trying to keep up with my Christian ministries, work a full time job, take and pick-up one newborn from a sitter and another one from pre-school.  I was spiritually drowning.  I realized there were going to be times in life when I would want to resign from being a wife or mother.  Obviously, God strengthened me and pulled me through since I have now been serving Him over 40 years and loving it.

If you are feeling guilty about motherhood or your job as a wife, don’t.

Jesus says he cares for you, and the Holy Spirit is there to strengthen   you.

Titus 2:5b 

…We don’t want anyone looking down on God’s Message because of their behavior.”

This is our moment to shine girls!!

We become the “Queen of God’s heart.”

This is where He becomes so pleased with us.

This is where God places us into His magazines!  All through His word he talks about rewarding us for doing good.

Fighting the good fight and loving it!!

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow’s post, we will continue on wives not blaspheming God’s Word.  Daily there is a new post.

WHY SUFFER IN MARRIAGE

Suffering is the greatest challenge to the Christian faith.

I have wives come up to me concerning their marriage.  Many of them feel that their suffering is unavoidable and unfair.

Here is a list of three different types of suffering:

First, there is global suffering (earthquakes, famine, etc.).

Second, there is community suffering (plane crashes, ship sinking, etc.).

Third, suffering as an individual which does affect those around us (death, poverty).

Suffering is a problem for Judeo-Christian tradition because we believe that God is good and all-powerful.

Gods original plan was that there would be no suffering but it enter the world when Adam and Eve sinned.

Why did God allow sin to enter the world?

God wanted us to have free will to love.

Without you being able to choose, then love is forced without real choice.

You had a choice as to who you would marry.

You don’t have a choice on your parents or siblings, nor people in your school or workplace.

You don’t even get a choice on the sex of your children or their personalities.

So often the repercussions we suffer are a result of our own sin.

There are physical laws of nature; if you put your hand in fire, you get burned.

There are moral laws; if you take drugs, you suffer the consequences.

Are you selfish, greedy, lustful, arrogant or bad tempered?

If you are, this will lead to a broken marriage relationship and unhappiness.

On a global scale, the biblical flood is an example of God judging sin in this life.

Sodom and Gomorrah is an example of a community disaster.

In John 9:1-3, Jesus expresses how suffering is not automatically linked to a sin.

In Luke 13:1-5, Jesus points out that a natural disaster is also not always a form of punishment from God.

God works through suffering

1.  Suffering is used by God to draw us to Christ.

It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.

If you are rebellious in your marriage, God could use a megaphone as an instrument of pain to draw you to Him.

2.  God uses suffering to bring us to Christian maturity.

Jesus learned obedience from what he suffered (Heb.12:10).

God uses suffering to build our character.

God also uses suffering to make our lives more fruitful.

Great triumphs in your marriage can only come after great trials.

3.  God often uses suffering to bring his good purposes. (Rom.8:28)

Joseph suffered rejection, imprisonment, trials, and temptations.

The blessings of God in your marriage will far outweigh the suffering (Rom.8:18; 2Cor.4:17).

4.  God is a God who suffers along side of us.

He became one of us; he suffered in all the ways in which we suffer (2Cor.5:19).

When we suffer, He suffers.

How do we respond to suffering?

Questions you need to ask yourself are:

1.  “Is this suffering a result of my own sin?”

Ask God to reveal any specific sin then repent and ask for God’s forgiveness and cleansing.

2.  “What are you saying to me through this?”

There may be some particular lesson God is trying to teach you about your marriage.

3.  “What do you want me to do?”

4.   We need to hold on to our hope.

Remember that battles do not last forever and there is usually a blessing around the corner.

Life is full of battles and blessings running side by side.

Keep your eyes fixed on him  (Heb.12:2).

Jesus fought against suffering wherever he came across it.

• Fed the hungry
• Healed the sick
• Raised the dead

We are called to follow in Jesus’ steps.

The devil always tries to make you suffer in your marriage.

You need to kick back with an iron boot!

There are tremendous blessings being poured out into your life right now.

Does God need to get out His megaphone or are you listening?

Whatever you are going through, God is going through it with you.

You have a partner!!

NOTE:  Most of the information was taken from a booklet called “Why does God allow suffering” by Nicky Gumbel.

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow’s post.  Daily there is a new post.

HAPPY FACE!

Everyone loves to be around the “life of the party” or the one with a good hearty laugh.

I remember seeing an interview with the famous actor “Billy Crystal”.  The interviewer asked him about his family and his childhood.  He has several brothers and when Crystal was asked what his biological brothers thought of his talent as a comedian he said, “They are far more funny than I am.”  At that point the interviewer told him that it must be a riot at Christmas when they are all together.  Crystal laughed and said it was where he gets his material and his inspiration from.

Once again lets be a “profile peeker” and dissect the Proverbs 31 woman to see what she is made of.

Prov.31:25 “Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.”

The first word that is used here is “strength”, which in Hebrew means a force, security, majesty, praise, boldness, might and power.

She was strong mentally, physically and emotionally.

Her husband knew that she was up to the task of being a GOD wife and to be the mother of his children.

Are you strong in those areas, or do you show your frustration to your husband and his children.

Do you START complaining, criticizing, yelling, crying and retaliating?

Strength is a clothing that gives you an opportunity to show diligent labor and strenuous efforts to be the best mother and wife.

In our society today, we are finding that our YOUNG ADULTS do not want to get married.  When asked why, their response is that they don’t want a marriage like their parents had.

Gods precious Holy Spirit is there to help you with those emotions.

The Holy Spirit is a gentlemen, and you have to LISTEN for his tugging in your heart to not express something that you will be embarrassed about later.

Thank God that He loves us so much, He doesn’t want us to destroy our marriage or our children.

The next word “honor” in Hebrew means magnificence that is an ornament or splendor.  It is beauty, excellency, glorious, and goodly.

This virtuous woman does not allow folly or sin to ruin her GODLY reputation.

Do you have a holy life in conduct, tongue and heart?

The last part of this verse is excellent: “…she shall rejoice in time to come.”

The word “rejoice” in Hebrew means to laugh, play, and make merry.

In other bible versions, they interpret the word “rejoice” as LAUGH.

This virtuous woman must have been very easy to be around because she was playful.

Life is not all about doing, but BEING.  That is, being joyful!

Are you sometimes a “stick in the mud”?

Are you many times not fun to be around?

Maybe you keep a clean house, love your husband, educate your children, but you are just a big KILLJOY!

You don’t know how to have fun!

This virtuous woman has taken care of others so she has a CLEAN conscience and the praises from those she has served.

Your future happiness depends on diligence and virtue today.

Don’t listen to the lies of the devil.

Put on a big “happy face” and  have fun today!

Someone with a  HAPPY FACE electrifies a whole room.

Your spiritual prescription for today is, put on a smile and get in there and have fun with your hubby and kids.

Fight that good fight with a smile!

NOTE: Don’t miss tomorrow’s post.  Daily there is a new post.

BOYS CLUB INITIATION

We have all heard about the initiations that go on when you join any type of boys club.  Many times on TV they will sneak cameras in to show some of the torture or hazing that goes on.

As we continue on as a “profile peeker” and watch what the Proverbs 31 woman went through, we find a very industrious, hardworking woman.

Prov.31:24  “She makes linen garments and sells them, and supplies the merchants with sashes.”

This woman manufactures articles and runs a business.

Her efforts and industry, ADD to the family income.

It takes time to set up a business because you have to develop a strong client base.

She had to keep her INTEGRITY while trying to enter into an industry that was probably led mainly by male manufacturers.

Probably most women would not have attempted it because of the old saying that a woman has to be twice as good as a man to receive half as much credit.

Not this Proverbs 31 woman.  She knew that not all men had the “boys club” mentality and she guarded her heart against any bitterness.

She trusted God by praying He would show her how to be effective as she sharpened her skills and persevered.

By faith, she rested in the knowledge that she had done ALL that God has shown her to do.

If you take great pains to prosper now that you are capable, you will have the pleasure and joy of the increase later on in life.

Are you doing everything you can NOW for your spouse and family?

Are you trying to use your talents and abilities now to further the kingdom of God?

Prov.30:25 “The ants are a people not strong, yet they prepare their meat in the summer.”

The virtuous woman, just like the ant, builds up her nest in the summer to prepare ahead.

Prov.6:6 “Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise.”

What are the ways of the ant that we are to consider?

1.)  In vs.6, they are intelligent and wise.

2.)  In vs.7, they work without being forced to by a guide, overseer or ruler.

3.)  In vs.8, they collect food in the proper season.

Even though there are times that blessings come unexpectedly, there is no substitute for hard work.

This virtuous woman was faithful in the “little.”

Luke 19:17 “…because thou hast been faithful in a very little, have thou authority over ten cities.

Jesus had left three men with money to invest.  Only one of the three invested wisely and earned a 100% return on the money.

Jesus commended the one that had received the best return.

Are you committed to working hard for Jesus?

Hard work is how we PROVE that we are ready to be used by God.

Give it your all!   You go girl!!!

You’re not letting the devil stop you are you????

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow’s post.  Daily there is a new post.

A COMPARABLE HELPER

WHILE ALL OF US ARE CALLED to help others–“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ” (Gal.6:2)–the Bible places a special emphasis on the responsibility for wives.  It also tells us that God specially designed women to be the kinds of helpers that make them the ideal match for men as the two become one in marriage.

The very first book of God’s Word tells us that part of God’s plan of creation–including the creation of marriage–contained this declaration, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him” (Gen.2:18).

It is interesting to note that the Hebrew word helper in this passage is found hereafter in the Bible only in reference to God as He helps us.  The fact that God applies this same word to a wife signifies that women have been given tremendous power for good in the lives of their husbands.

This remarkable verse tells us that God has designed wives to be very much like their husbands–comparable–but also different in ways that complement or help their husbands become all that God intends them to be.

NOTE:  Don’t forget tomorrow’s post.  Daily there is a new post!

SATURDAY – QUESTION & ANSWER

Question #1.  How do you prevent the fire from going out of marriage?

Answer #1. Here are some exhortations that should help you keep the fire burning.

1.  Make your marriage bed your priority.

Exhaustion is the great zapper of passion.  Make your sexual relationship a priority in your married life.

2.  Talk about what pleases one another.

Describe what would truly please you, and encourage your spouse to do the same.

3.  Fan the flames of romance.

Find out what setting sparks or even ignites your love for your mate.

4.  Have fun with one another, but not at each others expense.

Grins, giggles, and laughter ought to occasionally drift out of our bedrooms.

5.  Add the element of surprise to your marriage bed.

If the sexual area of your marriage has been a struggle, then ask permission before cooking up something you think is wonderful and your spouse might not appreciate (Rom.15:1-7).

6.  Be patient with your mate.

Married love demands that we continually grown and learn about one another (see 1Thess.3:14-15).

7.  Beware of bitterness.

Bitterness quenches the fire of romance.  Keep short accounts and ask forgiveness when you fail or if you have become bitter (Eph.4:26,27).

NOTE:  The answer above was taken from Family Life Marriage Bible by Dennis & Barbara Rainey

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow’s post.  Daily there is a new post.