LOVE YOUR SPOUSE

HELP, FLIGHT CANCELLED!!

In a marriage, everyone expects the husband to be the provider.

In some marriages, the wife is the provider, which works out very well for some couples.

Every day we count on people and businesses to provide goods or services to meet a need in our life.

Because my husband and I travel quite a bit, we are always concerned about arriving at the airport and seeing that our flight has been cancelled.

CASE AND POINT:  My husband had an early flight out of Sacramento so he decided to stay at a hotel in that city.  He made his reservations and explained to them that he would not arrive till 11pm.  He preached that night out of town and he was going to drive to Sacramento.  When he arrived, they informed him that his room was given away.  He had already paid for it with a credit card and they had already received their money for the room.  They politely told him he would be credited on his credit card for his room.  My husband asked them to get him a room at another hotel.  They politely informed him that there were no more rooms in the city because a very important event was taking place in Sacramento and he would have to drive over an hour to get a room.  My poor husband spent the night in his car.  He was not a “happy camper”.  Actually, he felt so violated and was infuriated at their deceptiveness to give his room away.

There will be times in your life when you are counting on your spouse for something and they just won’t come through.

High expectations can cause an array of problems in a marriage.

Rather than allowing your marriage to take a beating, put your trust in  YAHWEH YIREH.

Pray to YAHWEH YIREH,  who is the God who sees the situation before hand and will provide for your needs.

YAHWEH YIREH has provided joy and laughter for you through the turbulent times.

YAHWEH YIREH has provided for you rest during times of hard work.

YAHWEH YIREH has provided for you food when your pantry was empty.

YAHWEH YIREH has provided for you shelter when you could not afford or find anything comfortable.

Gen.22:1-14, God asked Abraham to sacrifice his son on an altar.  When he was ready to kill his son, God intervened and provided a ram to sacrifice on the altar instead.  So Abraham named the place “The Lord Will Provide.”

Because Abraham obeyed God, he was blessed with a long life, many children, wealth and a spiritual legacy.

Your small steps of obedience will lead to larger ones and you will receive bigger blessings.

Obedience is the key to marital wisdom, strength, and resistance to temptation.

Maybe airports can cancel flights but our God will never cancel the promise he made to Abrahams descendants.

We are Abraham’s descendants.

Trust God to provide!

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow’s post.  Daily there is a new post.

DAILY MARITAL GRATITUDE

God desires that we be grateful for every day that passes.

His desire is that we use everyday to ENJOY our marriage and to gather wisdom to make everyday more understanding than the day before.

Psa.90:12 “So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.”

Do we treasure each day?

CASE AND POINT:  There is a garment which is a mobility restricting bodysuit called a Third Age Suit.  It was made to show the loss of mobility which can occur in the aging process or other clinical conditions.  It also gives you a better understanding of the mental aspects.

Everyone is aware that old age brings physical loss but it also includes loss of independence, self-esteem and pride.

There are many questions as to why God designed our bodies to DETERIORATE but it could be that some people live as though this world is all there is.

The only one who lives forever is God, EL OLAM.

OLAM is a Hebrew word translated “eternal” or “everlasting”.

EL OLAM has the meaning “Eternal God” or “Everlasting God.”

This knowledge in our marriage should cause a reaction for us to be humble and stay focused.

Focused, because every day matters and humble, because we realize our limitations.

Old age is a blessing in disguise because the physical decline presses us TOWARDS God.

Jesus assured us that there is eternal life in John 3:16.

The eternal God, EL OLAM, wants a people that he can eternally love.

Live your marital life as in a way that expresses heaven as your true home.

Realize that God’s promises for our marriage will NEVER fail us.

Praise God for your husband’s limitations and yours.

Are you running out of STRENGTH in your marriage?

Are you running out of power in your marriage?

God GIVES strength to the weary and power to the weak.

If you feel that you have a weak marriage you can ask the Holy Spirit to fill it with His power.

Thank God for everything that is working well in your SPOUSES body.

Thank God for everything that is working well in your body.

Stop complaining about the areas in your marriage that are FRUSTRATING.

Start being GRATEFUL for the areas in your marriage that are strong.

Do something productive in your marriage today because you won’t be able to ever relive it again.

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow’s post.  Daily there is a new post.

MARRIAGE EVENT PLANNER

Every marriage has an “event planner.”

I am not talking about a “wedding planner.”

This is an event planner to guide your marriage to be successful in the future.

The name of your “event planner” for your marriage is EL SHADDAY.

The Hebrew EL SHADDAY, is translated “God Almighty.”

God’s covenant name EL SHADDAY, “God Almighty”, what does it mean in your life?  Nothing can prevent God Almighty from carrying out His plans for your life or prevent him from pouring out His blessings into your life.

There are many wives who feel that their spouses have ruined their lives.

Many wives feel that had they married “Prince Charming”, surely things would turn out better.

The devil is lying to you sister, Big Time!!

You need to know God as the ALL-POWERFUL God which nothing is impossible for him.

Just like he told Abraham in Gen.17:1-2, he is telling you, “I am God Almighty (El Shadday); walk before me and be blameless.”

As long as you follow God, there is no power on heaven or earth that can hinder his plans for you.

Just like God made a covenant to Abraham, He has made a COVENANT with you to assist you through the tough times in your marriage.

When you are at your weakest, God can show his strength for you and in you.

When you feel that your marital problems are overbearing, turn in faith to EL SHADDAY, almighty, all-powerful God.

Be confident in God’s ability to bless you and sustain you.

You cannot depend or put your trust in God Almighty if you have a HABIT of worrying about your marriage.

Who has protected you up to now?

Who has SUSTAINED you and fed you up to now?

Who has given you refuge up to now?

God will use anything the evil one throws at you to destroy you, and change it to bless your life if you will TRUSTin Him.

Are you experiencing difficulty in your marriage?

Are you struggling with PAINFUL hurts from your marriage?

Are you confused about the future of your marital status?

God Almighty, EL SHADDAY, is your “event planner.”

He has a plan for your life and He is on your side.

Ask God to ENABLE you to see Him for who He is.

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow’s post.  Daily there is a new post.

HOME SECURITY CAMERA

We have all heard about “home security cameras” that record what is happening in our home while we are gone.  Some are made where you can watch on your phone what is happening in your house at that very minute.

The word “security” has different meanings but basically it is measures taken as a precaution against theft or espionage or sabotage, etc.

People and businesses spend a fortune to protect what they own every year.

Many times when NEGATIVE things happen in our lives and our marriage, we feel so alone.

We feel like nobody knows our sorrows and nobody cares.

The truth is that God knows and he cares about everything that is IMPORTANT to us.

Hagar, a pregnant Egyptian slave, was mistreated by her mistress and she ran away into the desert.  The angel of the LORD came to her at a well in the desert and told her to go back to her mistress and obey her.  Also, that she was going to have a son who would grow and have many descendants.

In Gen.16:13, Hagar named God, EL ROI  “The God who sees me” because she said that she has now seen “the one who sees me.”

The well that she was at, she named it BEER LAHAI ROI which means “The well of the Living One who sees me.”

There is an important reason why I have told this story.

You may be in deep stress involving a problem in your marriage.

There might be something that you cannot tell anyone about and you are in DESPERATION to have it resolved.

This is exactly the position that Hagar was in and God told her to go back to her mean mistress and for her to be obedient to her.

When I first read this, I was so distressed that she had to go back to her master who had violated her.

You have to know that God has a plan to BLESS your life and for your marriage.

If God’s eye is on the sparrow, His eyes are certainly on you.

Never accuse God of abandoning you.

You need to become aware of His PRESENCE in your life.

No one seemed to care about Hagar and her unborn child enough to monitor her progress in the desert—no one but EL ROI.

There is no worse nightmare for a woman than to be pregnant, in poverty, and to be alone in the desert.

God saw the ABUSE Hagar had taken in the past, he pinpointed her exact position in the present, and he saw the future that he held for her.

God knows your past violations, he knows what you are going through now, and he knows the great blessing he has in store for you.

God is always working out His plan for your FUTURE.

God is always extending a helping hand to guide you through the tough times.

You might feel that your spouse is not doing enough for you and doesn’t even care to be SENSITIVE to what you are going through.

Don’t resent your spouse; He is not God.

Let the LORD be your “home security camera”.

Your spouse is not EL ROI, who sees you.

Let’s give our spouse a break and turn to the God who sees us.

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow’s post.  Daily there is a new post.

GOD’S PURPOSE FOR MARRIAGE

THE FIRST THREE CHAPTERS of Genesis provide us with a foundational understanding of God’s purposes and plan for marriage:

*  1:27-28 makes it clear that God made two sexes and that he made us with more than simple biological differences.

*  2:18-23 describes how God created the woman to be a companion and a helper to the man.  Far from being a demeaning term, the word helper is a term God uses for Himself throughout the bible (See Psalm 54:4, Hos.13:9, John 14:16).

* 2:24,25 gives God’s plan for marriage.  A husband and wife must leave their parents, cleave to each other, and begin the process of becoming one in body, soul and spirit.  They should be transparent with each other, naked and not ashamed.

* 3:1-24 reveals Satan’s strategy for fostering rebellion against God and for dividing husbands and wives.

*  3:6 hints at the passivity of
Adam who was with his wife while she was being tempted but who failed to lead by saying nothing.  God holds Adam accountable for this first act of rebellion (3:9).

*  3:7-12 describes how Adam and Eve’s disobedience led to feelings of shame, guilt and fear (v.7-10) and blame-shifting (v.12).

*  3:16  reveals that the consequences of Adam and Eve’s rebellion include pain for mothers in bearing and raising children and a battle for control between a husband and his wife (v.16).  Men will experience suffering in their work because of the ground being cursed by God.

Like the first married couple in history, all of us are living out our marriages in the midst of a spiritual battle like the one Adam and Eve faced in Genesis 3.  Your marriage is not taking place on a romantic balcony, but a spiritual battlefield.  Only through a restored relationship with God through Christ can we begin to live out and enjoy God’s original plan and purpose for marriage.

NOTE:  This article is from “Family Life Marriage Bible”  by Dennis and Barbara Rainey

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow’s post.  Daily there is a new post.

SATURDAY – QUESTION & ANSWER  

Question #1:  What does it mean to have and to hold?

Answer #1:  When we declared our vows, most of us repeated the words, to have and to hold, til death do us part.  But have you ever thought about what it means to have and hold your husband?

To have implies a possession.  It means he belongs to you and she is no one else’s.  Are you fulfilling your sexual responsibility to him?  For frequency?  Creativity?  Have you turned him down more often than you have invited his love?  Do you put his needs before or after those of your children or your work?

To hold means to keep or bond, much like a magnet.  A magnet has the power to pull a polar opposite to itself.  Dennis and I are virtual opposites in nearly every way; it’s what attracted us to each other in the first place.  But I must continue to be a magnet to him if I am to cultivate my relationship with him.  Dennis tells me that I am that magnet whenever I communicate, “I am available.”

This may surprise you, but most men really want their wives to passionately desire them.  And when you express sexual longing for him–whether verbally or non-verbally–most husbands are unlikely to refuse your magnetic power.

NOTE:  This article is from Family Life Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow’s post.  Daily there is a new post.

WIVES ARE FLAWLESS

The word “flawless” means without defect or weakness in a person’s character.

We many times use the excuse that we are not perfect.

This leaves a lot of room for us to excuse ourselves for bad BEHAVIOR.

We were made by a perfect God who made us in His image.

Gen.1:27 “ So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.”

When we look in the mirror in the morning, who stares back?  Someone worn and aged?  Someone who has a nose that is too big or too little?

Or do you see a child of God who is growing daily in his image?

What do you see when you look at your spouse?

Do you see someone who was made in the image of God?

You can be so occupied by your spouses flaws that you miss life’s beauty.

You can miss the beauty of the person that God made when he DESIGNED your spouse.

The word for God in Genesis is “Elohim” which occurs 32 times in that first chapter.

This name given to God “Elohim” , contains the idea of God’s creative power.

He created the heavens and the earth out of absolutely nothing.

God made it all, owns it all, and He can GIVE away it’s fruit to anyone he wants.

Elohim desires to use His creative power in your life now.

Often times we get upset with our spouse because we expect PERFECTION from them.

We expect our spouse to have creative power to solve all family issues, financial problems and any unexpected events.

God has UNLIMITED resources to accomplish his purposes.

So are wives flawless?

God’s Holy Spirit who dwells in us is flawless but our bodies have flaws.

This is why we must ASK God to be Lord of our lives.

Don’t forget that every human life, including your spouse’s, is sacred.

Don’t take God’s earthly blessings for GRANTED.

Don’t take your husband for granted.

Remember that you bear God’s image.

As a spouse, you are a representative of God’s perfect love.

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow’s post.  Daily there is a new post.

DIALOGUE: CONstructive instead of DEstructive

The word “dialogue” means a discussion between two persons intended to produce an agreement.

Dialogue is a gift you give to one another and it has no strings attached.

During confrontation, it is important that the communication lines stay OPEN.

Remember that the purpose of dialogue is to help you understand your spouse’s feelings.

Don’t focus on CHANGING your spouse, focus on their feelings.

Don’t focus on manipulating your spouse, focus on their feelings.

Try to not concentrate on how your partner thinks but how your partner feels.

It is your RESPONSIBILITY to try to understand and accept your spouse as he is.

Women are more relational then men because that is the way their brains are made.

Women communicate with their mothers, sisters, friends, children, co-workers, neighbors, and are usually easier conversationalists with strangers.

A woman’s God-given role is to be her husbands “helpmeet”.

When a wife adapts herself to her husband’s way of communicating, it is just another way of her fulfilling her role as a “helpmeet.”

When women are asked what her ideal husband would be like, she usually describes her best friend.

Wives don’t REALIZE that they are made to be different than their husbands and communicate different.

This is why woman are the ones who should learn to change.

CASE AND POINT:  Many years ago, my husband started to go through a different change in his life.  God spoke to my heart that I would have to learn who this different thinking husband was and adjust to what his needs are now.  I started to get depressed thinking that I couldn’t do this.  How do I even know what kind of a wife he needs?  Also, how do I know that I’m even capable of changing?   Third, what if I don’t want to change?  I realized that every decade “Cher” changes in order to survive and support herself.  She sang with her husband, then had a variety show ?changed her music style and made more albums.  All this she did for the almighty dollar.  If “Cher” could do that for money and fame, I could change to glorify God and please my husband.  SO I DID!!   It wasn’t easy, but I did it with the leading of the Holy Spirit and the love of God.  This month we will be married 50 years.  Hallelujah!!

Prov.21:19 “It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.”

This is saying that a man would rather be alone in the world than to be in a house with an angry and argumentive woman.

You will NEVER get the results that you want by nagging.

A man will eventually shut down and withdraw if nagged because it is so demeaning to him.

You might be GLOATING because you have your husband do everything that you want  but is he holding resentment against you?

It is fine to remind your husband to do something again, but don’t say it in a demoralizing way.

Listen to your TONE of voice and to what exactly you are saying before you say it.

Don’t make statements like, “How many times do I have to say this before your brain understands it?”

SHOW YOUR HUSBAND RESPECT!!

Gal.5:15 NLT “But if you are always biting and devouring one another, watch out!  Beware of destroying one another.”

The key to warming your husbands heart is to show him “respect.”

This is your husband’s lifeline.

According to Gods principles, he does not have to earn RESPECT, you are commanded to show him respect out of duty.

We are taught in God’s word that gentleness and reverence are what will win a disobedient husband over.

Do you want your husband to be more RECEPTIVE when you talk?

Good!!  Give the poor guy the respect he craves.

Once you decide to change and humble your STUBBORN self to the Lord’s way, you will be shocked at what will happen to your husband.

Take the first step and begin to invest in your husband and in your marriage.

There will see a change as soon as your speech becomes CONstructive instead of DEstructive.

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow’s blog.  Daily there is a new post.

GREAT MARRIAGES TAKE COURAGE

Marriage takes courage because it is something worth fighting for.

We need to put on our boxing gloves DAILY and fight for our marriage.

CASE AND POINT:  Oscar DeLaHoya was a champion boxer that the whole Hispanic community was proud of.  He invested a lot of money for children in the Barrio communities.  All his games were sold out with the Hispanic community dominating the seats.  Any Hispanic that you would talk to and mention Oscar’s name, they would respond with acalades.  His last fight was sold out months in advance.  There was excitement in the air.  But something happened that surprised everyone.  In one of the early rounds, Oscar DeLaHoya refused to come out.  He decided that he did not have what it took and that he would not be able to win the fight.  That could be the mistake of his life. The people at the boxing arena were furious.  They felt cheated.  It was in all the papers.  Oscar is no longer their hero.  Why??  Because he quit!!  They felt that he should have fought to the finish.

There is something about fighting to the finish.

It takes GUTS to work through all the emotions.

It takes guts to admit you are wrong and say you are sorry.

It takes COURAGE to give in to your spouse’s desires.

It takes courage to let down your guard and let your spouse see the real you.

It takes courage to change and choose to PLEASE your spouse.

Romans 16:17 “…mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them.”

This verse is telling us that if our lives are not disciplined then the church is to stay away from us.

Rom.16:19 “Everyone has heard about your obedience, so I am full of joy over you.”

In our marriages we need to take the road paved with diligence and perseverance.

The road to a successful marriage is rarely SIMPLE because as a spouse you need to be productive and hard-working.

Just as we do everything to be successful in our jobs, so should we do the same to be successful in our marriages.

The devil will tell you, “Why are you doing this?  Your spouse doesn’t appreciate you anyway!”

The beginning of a marriage is always exciting.

The DIFFICULT part is sticking through the rough stuff to the very end.

The real test is when the newness and the excitement is gone and the hard-work and commitment begins.

Stay committed to the VOWS you made to your husband and to God.

Punch it out and move forward with every ounce of your might.

Your spouse is WORTH it.

He loves you!  You are his choice!!!

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow’s post.  Daily there is a new post.

ABANDON and UNWANTED

Have you ever felt rejected and unwanted.

I know that all of us at some time in our life, have experienced something that made us feel rejected.

CASE AND POINT:  From junior high school, till I graduated from high school, we moved to different schools ten times.  I felt like I was always the new girl and everyone had their cliques.  Rejection was not something I wanted to embrace at that young age, especially since it was right after my father abandon our family.  I wish I could say that I got use to it, but it had the opposite affect on me.  It drove me further into rejecting my own self worth.

I don’t believe that this is God’s perfect will for our lives, but he will take what satan has tried to destroy us with and God will turn it around and use it for His honor and glory!

Do you feel like you can never please people?

Don’t be in an EMOTIONAL prison just because of what the evil one is now throwing in your face.

I can be thankful today because it gives me an OPPORTUNITY to tell others how devastating rejection is and that it can have a lifetime affect on someone’s life.

1Cor.1:28 “And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen…”

The city of Corinth at that time had so much disgust for Christians that the Apostle Paul had to encourage believers with this letter.

The word “despised” in the Greek means contemptible, least esteemed.

These people who were total outcasts in their society, God said that those are the ones He has chosen.

Yes!  God goes around LOOKING for people who are low-class, second rate and despicable to others.

Why?   Why does he pick the lowest of the low??

Do you feel unloved by your spouse?

Do you feel DISRESPECTED by your spouse?

Does your spouse make you feel like the lowest of the low?

Do you have money saved and bags packed for an easy EXIT the next time things get heavy at home?

Well, hold your head up high and don’t let other people affect your self-image and confidence.

The devil will always try to use the people you love the most and the ones that are closest to you, to drag you DOWN.

People you don’t know cannot hurt you; it’s the people that you love that hurt you.

Isa.53:3  says that Jesus was “…despised and rejected of men…”

All the neglect that has taken place in your life has qualified you to be the exact kind of person that Jesus wants to use.

Why?  Because you know how Jesus FELT and He knows what you have been through.

In 1Cor.1:29 it says, “That no flesh should glory in his presence.”

The NIV translation says, “So no one may boast before him.”

If you are rejected by people you love and have given your life to them, God gets all the GLORY.

The more we are treated like second rate citizens, the more precious we are to God.

Don’t RESENT your spouse!

Are you one of God’s chosen few?

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrow’s post.  Daily there is a new post.