LOVE YOUR SPOUSE

MAIN INGREDIENT FOR PROSPEROUS MARRIAGE  

Every one wants a prosperous marriage.

If this is true, then why are so many marriages TROUBLED?

We can find the answer in proverbs.

Prov.13:21 ”Prosperity is the reward of the righteous.”

This verse is saying that the REWARD of being a righteous spouse is having a prosperous marriage.

Righteousness is the character or quality of being right or just.

Righteousness is fulfilling our responsibility of being in a right relationship or right standing with God.

In Hebrew word TSEDEQ is translated “righteousness”.

We are not to just do what God says to do but we are to become like him.

Jesus stressed that righteousness is about our thoughts, motives, and desires which is a HEART MATTER.

Jesus stressed that righteousness is not about outward behavior.

CASE AND POINT:  As I was growing up, I prided myself on doing what was right.  I knew there were two different roads that I could go down, but I always tried to pick the right road.  I didn’t enjoy behaving all the time, but I made it a point not to lie and fulfill my responsibilities.  But the day I gave my life to God, he showed me how my desires were for the things of the world and even though I tried to do what was right, I missed the mark.  He continued to deal with my heart and if I wanted heaven I needed His righteousness.  My words to him were, “If there is a heaven, I want to be there.”  That day he gave me the assurance that I have a place in eternity with him.

Do you want to be rescued from a troubled marriage?

“The righteous are delivered from trouble, and the wicked get into it instead.”  (Prov.11:8 NRSV)

Do you let God help you with what you say to your spouse when you are ANGRY?

“The lips of the righteous nourish many.”  (Prov.10:21)

Do you want to be a blessing to your spouse?

“Blessings crown the head of the righteousness.  (Prov.10:6)

Have you asked God to make changes in your marital relationship and you are still waiting on God.

“What the wicked dread will come upon them, but the desire of the righteous will be granted. (Prov.10:24 NRSV)

How do you act when things don’t turn out your way and you feel violated?

“When the storm has swept by, the wicked are gone, but the righteous stand firm forever.”  (Prov.10:25)

Do you carry terrible thoughts about your spouse and seem to have negative attitudes?

“The memory of the righteous will be a blessing. (Prov.10:7)

Why so some marriages suffer?

We may not always UNDERSTAND all the reasons why our marriage is suffering.

Our job is to be consistent with His righteousness.

Matt.5:6 “Blessed are those who hunger ad thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.”

NOTE:  Tomorrow will have more insights into marriage.

SUPERNATURAL STAYING POWER FOR MARRIAGES

Hope is a gift that we have for our lives today that is meant to carry you into the next.

When we become hopeless, our days are no longer SUNNY but we only see gray.

CASE AND POINT:  My husband and I were missionaries in England for about 5 years in the 80’s.  We arrived in December and I remember when the airplane doors opened, I was overwhelmed with the freezing temperatures.  Our daughter kept her coat on all summer and in October she asked me when summer was coming.  When I told her summer had just finished, she started crying.  England was freezing and her hope was a gorgeous sunny summer.

Although my daughter was only 8 years old, hopelessness comes to us no matter how old we are.

Isa. 40:31 “But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.”

No matter what you are facing in your marriage, hope is a new kind of strength that helps you to endure what you need to face.

Hope enables us to be patient and to wait CONFIDENTLY for God to act.

Do you let doubt and anxiety paint ugly pictures in your mind about your marriage or your spouse?

God’s word says that he has great PLANS, not only for your marriage but also for you personally.

God has supernatural staying power for your marriage.

Jer.29:11  “’For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’”

The Christian symbol for hope has been an ANCHOR for about two thousand years.

“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure.” Heb.6:19

When disappointments bring FEAR into your life, remember that the Holy Spirit resides in you.

Fear and grief will be destroyed if your hope is grounded in God.

Confess to God if you have been putting your hope in things that CANNOT save you.

CASE AND POINT: This morning on a news station they had someone who wrote a book on how many children to have.  The author mentioned how many couples keep having children thinking it will make their marriage better.  Instead, it eats into their quality time and the result is a marriage breakup.

Put your trust in God and let him teach you how to meet your spouse’s needs.

Clinical studies have shown that many premature deaths have been caused by habitual hopelessness.

The National Institute on Aging did a study on people who were hopeful for the future.  From three to seven years later, the ones who were classified as “hopeless”, 29% died.  The ones classified as “hopeful”, only 11% died.

Hope is a healing balm for both your body and soul.

Supernatural staying power is what hope gives us.

Hope is not based on emotions, it is deeply rooted in a relationship with God.

Are there failure and betrayals in your marriage?

Are there illnesses or hardships in your marriage?

Put your trust and hope in a living God.

NOTE:  Tomorrow’s post contains new insights for your marriage.

HERE COMES THE JUDGE

A judge is someone who pronounces judgment on someone or something.

One thing that you may have a tendency to do is pass judgment on our SPOUSE.

In Hebrew, the word for “judge” is SHOPHET and God is the judge of the whole world.

Only God is competent to know the motivation of hearts and minds.

In the Old Testament, God often sent His prophets to rebuke Israel’s rulers for being UNJUST to the widows, the fatherless, the poor and the aliens.

Are you like Israel’s rulers and being unjust with your judgment concerning your spouse.

Matt.7:1  “Do not judge, or you too will be judged.  For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

“You… have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things…do you think you will escape God’s judgment…” (Rom. 2:1-4)

Ask God to keep you from becoming critical and judgmental of your spouse and others.

CONFESS to God if you have the tendency to judge your spouses motivations.

Do you know how it feels to be unjustly accused of an offense?

Rom.2:4 “Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience…”

This verse is excellent because it shows what God EXPECTS of us: kind, tolerant and patient.

These are actions that we need to use on our spouse the next time we don’t understand them: kindness, tolerance and patience.

Have you ever found yourself wishing that you could special order a PUNISHMENT just for your husband?

Do you wish for a punishment that would duplicate the hurt you have gone through?

Allow the Holy Spirit to work in your life or you will find signs of “bitterness” and a “desire for revenge” creep into your heart.

You need to trust God because judgment belongs to Him, not to you!

The real victory comes when you ESCAPE the implanting of bitterness and resentment in your heart.

You may evaluate the actions of your spouse, but only God should judge the motives in their heart.

It may seem awkward to understand how God can be your shepherd and healer but also your JUDGE.

God wants you free from eternal judgment and that is why he judges you here on earth.

Injustice is everywhere but don’t let it DESTROY your marriage.

Live happily with your spouse today as though there is no tomorrow.

Ask God to give you a MERCIFUL heart towards your spouse no matter what their attitude might be.

God is gracious and compassionate with you.

Isa.30:18 “Yet the LORD longs to be gracious to you;

He rises to show you compassion.

For the Lord is a God of Justice.

Blessed are all who wait for him!”

NOTE:  Tomorrow’s post will be filled with more encouraging marital nuggets.

A WIFE’S ULTIMATE NEED

ISAAC, IT IS SAID, “took Rebekah and she became his wife, and he loved her” (Gen.24:67).  Centuries later, that’s still what a wife most wants out of marriage.

A wife wants her husband to love her, to cherish and care for her, to pursue her and continue to know who she is and who she is becoming.  She wants her husband to seek a relationship with her.  She wants him to seek to understand her.  It’s why on some occasions, our wives want to be intriguing and a challenge, not easily figured out.

When a woman sees her husband denying himself for her, she understands that it’s  because of love.

On the other hand, if a woman senses her husband is romancing her in order to meet his own personal needs, then she feels manipulated, or controlled, or less valued…used.  She may begin to fear that she would be taken advantage of, taken for granted sexually, and unappreciated in all kinds of ways.

A wife’s ultimate need is to be loved.  No man will do that perfectly.  But a husband seeking to become the man God wants him to be will learn how to better love his mate.  The result is a wife who begins to feel and experience unconditional love—and a marriage of growing commitment, trust, and fulfillment.

NOTE:   Don’t miss tomorrows post which will be a new post filled with marital insight.

NOTE:  This article came from Family Life Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey

SATURDAY – QUESTION AND ANSWER  

Question #1.  What is the proper way of handling a situation when your spouse is friendly with someone of the opposite sex.

Answer #1.  It is very hard for someone to see their spouse enjoying the company of someone from the opposite sex.  I would suggest that at first you should try to ignore it, especially if your spouse has never given you any reason to think otherwise by their actions.  If it continues again and you are feeling uncomfortable, the best thing to do is to address it to your spouse.  Do not involve the other person.  Do not accuse your spouse of anything.  Just address to your spouse how you are feeling and you want him/her to help you with this.  You have the right to ask them not to be friendly and keep the relationship on a business like level.  Do not tell your spouse not to say hello or smile.  Your spouse is not guilty of anything and they may not even be aware of their actions.  Do not violate your marriage by bringing accusations that are unsubstantiated.

MARRIAGE FORTRESS FOREVER

What does a fortress have to do with marriage?  Everything!!!

A fortress is a fortified (secured) place, especially a large, permanent military stronghold that often includes a town.

In Psa.91:2 God is called our “fortress” or METSUDA

Psa. 91:2 “I will say of the LORD, He is my refuge and my fortress: my God; in him will I trust.”

Where do you go when things go wrong and times get hard in your marriage?  Your mother?  Sister?  Best Friend?  Co-worker?

Are there times when you have taken refuge in anything and everything but God?

What keeps you from EXPERIENCING God as your fortress?

Could it be your pride?

Do you seek shelter somewhere else because you get ANGRY with God for letting you down?

When we wait on God, we are telling him that we will put our trust in Him to do what is right for our lives.

Maybe you FEEL unworthy or guilty of asking God for his help.

The devil is a liar and he will lie to you in order to keep you from going to God.

Do you think that your marital situation is IMPOSSIBLE?

He loves those impossible issues because then you will know it was him who created a miracle.

No one else can get HIS glory!!!

God doesn’t want to just dwell with His people, He wants to dwell within His people.

He is someone that you can RUN to for safety and security.

The City of Refuge in the Old Testament was somewhere that a person could run to if they had accidently killed someone.  This place was within a day’s journey since they were strategically placed at various places in Israel.

God is compared to an eagle or a great bird.  This is where the RIGHTEOUS can find shelter.

In the same way Jesus is our fortress and our strength.

Fortress walls were about 25 feet high and 25 feet thick in the Old Testament.  People would work outside the walls during the day and then at night they could come inside the walls protection.

In Matthew, Jesus expressed how a mother hen longs to gather her chicks under her wings.

“…how often would I have gathered thy children together, even as a hen gathereth her chickens under her wings, and ye would not!”  Matt.23:37

Your life will be different if you let God shelter you under His wings.

As a couple, learn to take SHELTER behind those fortress walls.

NOTE:  Everyday there is a new post with helpful information to encourage your marriage.

DIVINE SUPPLIES FOR COUPLES

  So many times right after couples get married, they call the church office to get marital advice.

The worse case scenario was one bride who called the church after being married just 2 days.

We were shocked to hear her say she was done with her marriage because he was not doing what she wanted.

I am sure that the husband wanted to call also for some divine marital handbook.

Although it is a rarity, we do get couples that call during their “honeymoon stage” and ask for advice to avoid their daily arguments.

What we have found is the devil comes in like a flood and overwhelms them with lies.

This can bring death to a marriage but we have a God who is alive!

2King, 19:16 “… listen to the words Sennacherib has sent to insult the living GOD”

 The word “Living God” in Hebrew is EL CHAY.

Thank God for breathing life into you and into your marriage.

He is a God who hears, who speaks and who acts.

CASE AND POINT:  When my daughter was about 2 years old, she had a Minnie mouse doll.  We took her to Disneyland and she went crazy when she saw Minnie mouse walking around.  She hugged her and we spent about an hour just hugging Minnie cause our daughter didn’t want to leave her.  When we got home, she grabbed her Minnie doll and started pulling her legs and arms.  She was very disappointed because her Minnie would not walk around or hug her.  We could not stop laughing cause we had never seen her so frustrated.

Many of us are like that.  We own a Minnie doll.

Is your god a dead god with no life just like Minnie.

Unlike idols made by human hands, the “living God” is our source to a better marriage.

Why do we need a “Living God” to help us?

We need a “Living God” because we need help with the attacks on the outside but also on the inside of us.

The devil lies to us and tells us that we cannot control our emotions, our bad habits, addictions, etc.

As things begin to look hopeless, we fall into depression.

What poison is being fed to you right now which you think is too big for God’s power to deliver you.

Reject all lies and lay out your requests to the “Living God.”

God’s specialty is to drive out the enemies that continue to harass you.

God loves a “good fight” because He always comes out winning!!

The angel of the LORD killed 185,000 men in the Assyrian camp in one night.

Tell God that you do not want to control your life anymore but you want to be controlled by His living Holy Spirit who is powerful.

There is a well of “living water” that is never in short supply which Jesus talked about.

In John 4:14, Jesus tells us about the all powerful “Living God” who makes His home in us.

Don’t fight your own fights; let God do the fighting.

NOTE:  Tomorrow there will be encouraging information to make a great marriage.

GOD’S ADULTEROUS SPOUSE

Most spouses trust that on their wedding day the vows that are taken will be fulfilled until “death”.

If you have experienced infidelity in marriage, you know exactly the pain others have had to fight through.

God knows and experiences this pain on a DAILY bases.

He had a passionate love for Israel who ended up turning to idols of stone and wood.

God is the IDEAL perfect husband who provides and protects us, his people.

He refuses to divorce us no matter how unfaithful we may be.

“In that day,” declares the LORD,

“you will call me ‘my HUSBAND’;

you will no longer call me ‘my master’…

I will betroth you to me forever;

I will betroth you in righteousness and justice,

in love and compassion.

I will betroth you in faithfulness,

And you will acknowledge the LORD.”   (Hosea 2:16, 19-20)

In Hebrew the word for husband is ish.

When God told Israel that he was ish, their husband, he was telling them that this was the ideal relationship from a perfect husband.

The big problem that wives make is that they want their husband to be perfect with them.

This is an impossible TASK because that is Gods job to be the perfect husband.

The New Testament states that Jesus is our bridegroom and the church is his bride.

Our purpose is not to try and CHANGE our spouse, our greatest purpose as Jesus’ people, is to become His bride.

You might look at your relationship with your husband to be the strangest match because of differences.

There is no STRANGER match in History than between God and the Israelites.

Israel was weak, sinful, foolish, powerless and unfaithful yet He said , “I will betroth you to me forever.”

Don’t settle for a relationship that will keep God at arms length.

God desires to be intimate with you but unfortunately you are an IDOL worshipper.

YES, YOU!!!

Let’s gauge how susceptible you really are!!

How do you spend your time on these precious resources?

Your time?  Your talents?  Your money?

What portion of your day is spent thinking about God or what portion is spent on your idolatrous attachments?

You can ask God for forgiveness and change today.

Let God be your husband, ISH.

NOTE:  Tomorrow’s post will have marital insights for your marriage.

ROYAL MANSION FOR EVERY SPOUSE

We often forget that if you are a believer in Christ, you have been promised a mansion.

In the United States, a mansion is a dwelling that is over 8,ooo square feet.

Can you imagine cleaning that place everyday?

Jesus said in John 14:2, “In my Father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you.  I go to prepare a place for you.”

I can’t even imagine what these mansions will look like.

CASE AND POINT: I have never been in a mansion but when my husband and I were missionaries in England, we had to visit a Christian school right outside of London.  As we pulled into the gates, and viewed this beautiful edifice, I felt like I was in an exotic, romantic, fairy tale land.  It looked like a huge mansion on this enormous lot of lush green grass.  It seemed like we were driving up in a carriage.  It used to be a hospital/rest home for the elderly.

If you and I could just have a glimpse of that mansion, I don’t have any doubt that we would obey all His commandments.

God doesn’t want us to obey Him because we have a mansion, He desires that we do it because we love Him and want to be with Him in ETERNITY.

My kids are always nice when I am giving or lending them money.  But during times of discipline, sometimes an attitude “rears its ugly head.”

Sound familiar???   This is the same reaction that God has to deal with when he tries to instruct us.

The Israelites believed that YAHWEH was MELEK.

MELEK  means “King” and the Israelites knew that he was king, not just over them, but over every nation on the earth.

Jesus is the “King of kings”, who demonstrated perfect obedience here on earth for us.

When you pray to YAHWEH MELEK, you are praying to the God who watches over the whole earth.

Psa.47:7  “God is King of all the earth.”

What kind of a spouse would you be if you really believed that in a few short years you would inherit a mansion?

How would you act as a spouse if you really believed that you would in a short time inherit everything your heart desires?

Do you desire to be in this PLACE where there is no more crying, no more worrying, no more loneliness and no more being misunderstood?

How are you acting since you know that you will be going in just a few short years, to a place where you will always love and be loved?

This is a place where every need of yours will be fulfilled.

Why isn’t this KNOWLEDGE making you a better spouse and putting everything in the right perspective?

Are you still trying to stockpile what this world has to offer?

Ask God to give you a growing desire for your new world to come so you can have the right Christian VALUES here and now towards your marriage.

“Then the King will say to those on his right, “Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world.”  Matt. 25:34

Let ‘s act like royalty.

Let’s live like royals who are headed to the home of the King of kings, and Lord of lords.

NOTE:  Tomorrow is another new marriage post to give you marital insight.

SPOUSES WITHOUT DRIVING DIRECTIONS

 One of the things that really bug’s a wife is that her husband never asks for directions when he is lost.

And a big AMEN from me!  Lol!!!

Well wives I have an eye opener for you, us wives need directions also.

How many times are you totally OFF TRACK in your thinking, but you don’t ask for help.

David wrote in Psalms 23 that the LORD is His shepherd.

David was a shepherd and he knew how VITAL it was to keep his sheep from straying and he protected them from thieves and wild animals by forfeiting his own life.

YAHWEH ROI is the one true shepherd for His people.

 “The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures.

He leads me beside quiet waters,

he restores my soul.

He guides me in paths of righteousness

For his name’s sake.”  (Psalm 23:1-3)

God gently, through His precious Holy Spirit, brings you back when you wander from God’s way of righteousness.

When you are going through DARK times in your marriage, He is there constantly caring for you.

He watches over you night and day because we are like sheep, when we are vulnerable, we start to panic.

CASE AND POINT:  My father-in-law (who lived with us for 17 years), my aunt (my mothers sister who I was very close to), and my mother and father, all died within a year and a half.  It is said that it takes about 2 years to get over the death of a family member.  I didn’t get 2 year intervals to finish mourning before another death was to be dealt with.

I can testify that God truly “restored my soul” and our family was able to deal with grief and gain supernatural strength to stay focused on Jesus during our ordeal.

Scripture tells us that without Christ, we have no direction.

Without Christ you cannot CONTROL your attraction to sin, or your selfish nature.

How can you keep your spiritual life on course without Christ.

Jesus is called the “Lamb of God” and the “Good Shepherd.”  He became a part of the flock like us by laying down His life.

Because Jesus was the Lamb of God, we can truly live.

Do you let your fears dictate to you how to respond to the issues of life?

YAHWEH ROI, our LORD the Shepherd, has left us His promises.

Psa.23:4 “Even though I walk

Through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil,

For you are with me;

Your rod and your staff,

They comfort me. 

Is the devil lying to you that your marriage is not going to make it?

Does he tell you that you are missing out on LIFE?

Are you afraid of what you will do if something happens to your spouse?

Fear is powerful and it will push you into the WRONG path.

Security and anxiety will overwhelm you if you let fear shape your behavior and choices.

Stay on the right path as you allow the Holy Spirit to DIRECT your marital life.

NOTE:  Tomorrow there will be a new post to give you insight on  your marriage.