LOVE YOUR SPOUSE

ARE YOU A WIFEZILLA?

Even though every bride prepares her wedding plans and tries to avoid any problems, it doesn’t always turn out the way she desires.

In Isaiah, the verse expresses the anticipation of the bride as she prepares herself and puts on the FINEST of finishing touches.

Isa.61:10 “I will greatly rejoice in the Lord,

My soul shall be joyful in my God;

For He has clothed me with the Garments of salvation,

He has covered me with the robe of Righteousness,

As a bridegroom decks himself with Ornaments,

And as a bride adorns herself with Her jewels.”

Every bride has a story that happened on her wedding day that caused her to be a “bridezilla.”

CASE AND POINT:  I have two stories that happened on my wedding day.  We were married in 1969 when girls wore thick false eyelashes.  On the morning of my wedding, I had my eyelashes on the counter ready to put on, my maid of honor was so nervous, she got glue all over my eyelashes and I could not get it off.  I was so mad at her and she was upset that I wasn’t a nervous wreck like her.  It was so funny, not then but now.  The second thing was that my dad never showed up to give me away.  He had left my mom when I was 13 years old.  This was almost seven year later, and he told me he would be there.  After waiting for him, the priest said we had to start the ceremony or not get married.  I asked my younger brother to walk me down the aisle.  I know that incident sounds somewhat tragic but I was just so excited to be marrying the best man in the world.  I was the happiest girl alive that day!

On a brides wedding day, she thinks nothing will ever happen to separate her from her spouse.

You feel like no matter what problems come your way, you will make it through because of the LOVE you have for each other.

Statistics show that 50% of first time marriages don’t make it past the first five years.

What happens when a wife becomes a “wifezilla” after the wedding is over?

This can happen real quick!

Do you let the CHILDREN get in the way of your marriage?

Most couples divorce over finances.

Do you find yourself FIGHTING over finances?

Eph.5:33 “Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.”

This verse in Ephesians is Gods marriage treaty.

Husbands are to LOVE their wives and wives are to respect their husbands.

There is a book called “Love and Respect” by Emerson Eggerich, that dissects this verse.

This book explains about the “Crazy Cycle.”

When the wife doesn’t want to “respect” her husband, then he doesn’t want to show her “love” by doing the things she wants.

This cycle goes on and on while the marriage goes no where and no one is happy or satisfied.

This is not Gods PLAN for a godly marriage.

Get off the “wifezilla” list because it is time to show the maturity of Christ in your life and in your marriage.

Put on your bridal jewels and show your husband that you are a woman to be cherished!

“I am my beloved’s.”  Song of Solomon 7:10 KJV

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

YOUR LIFE IS YOUR WORLD SERIES

According to God’s word, in order to be blessed, you must have a pure heart.

Matt.5:8  “Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God.”

What is considered an impure heart?

A “pure heart” is a heart and mind that is clean.

You or I would be upset if we went to buy a coke and they would put it in a dirty cup yet we allow impurities to stay in our heart.

CASE AND POINT:  The City of Long Beach has passed a bill so that they no longer put your purchases in plastic bags.  If you want a paper bag for something you have purchased, you need to pay for it.  I find that very disturbing because this city is so interested in saving our planet from plastic yet we allow abortion clinics that kill our babies.  No one is interested in saving our babies from being brutally murdered in the womb.

We are living in a society that has an “impure heart” yet the live day to day as if everyone is entitled to live their life with no restrictions.

First, a covetous heart is an “impure heart.”

In 1Tim.6:10 covetousness is “…the root of all evil…”

I remember hearing a priest saying that in all the years he has been hearing confessions, that he has never heard anyone confess being covetous.

In the ten commandments God names an array of things we are not to covet.

That tells me than coveting is happening, but we are in denial.

As a spouse, we often see what other partners are doing for their spouse and we feel cheated.

The devil lies to us and tells us we deserve a better life.

This is the spark that leads to covet and ends in a “firey divorce.”

Second, a heart that feels it doesn’t need purity is an “impure heart.

Rev.3:17 “…I am rich and have need of nothing…”

This type of person looks at life as if they can do everything on their own and has done everything on their own.

This kind of thinking is insane because God has made all of us to need the help of someone else since birth through death.

If you have the attitude that you don’t need your spouse, you are listening to the wrong voice.

You are rejecting the gift that God has given you.

Third, an ignorant heart is an “impure heart.”

Prov.19:2 “…that the heart be ignorant is not good…”

We have an ignorant heart when we don’t read Gods word.

Scriptures are filled with Godly wisdom so that we will not be ignorant to the devils devices.

You only have one life to live, we need to live it with our eyes opened.

CASE AND POINT:  Every baseball player lives to be lucky enough to go to the world series.  That world series ring means everything to them.

This marital life you are living right now is your “world series.”

Live life big, live it godly.

Live it with a “pure heart!”

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

MY ARM AROUND YOUR SHOULDER

It is easy to show mercy to someone who is good to you, but how about showing mercy to someone, as they say in England, who has just “done your head in.”

In the gospel of Matthew we are told if you want mercy from God, you have to show mercy.

Matt.5:7  “Blessed are the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy.”

The word “mercy” means leniency and compassion shown towards offenders by a person charged with administering justice.

Mercy is a “must” to do in your marriage.

What is the difference between love and mercy?

First, love is like a friend that visits you whether you are sick or well.

Second, mercy is like a doctor that visits you only when you are sick.

Mercy gives its help when there is a need.

In Genesis, God sent angels to pull Lot out of Sodom and Gomorrah before he destroyed it by fire.

God’s word says that he was being merciful to Lot to take him out of that immoral city before destruction was sent.

I am sure that Lot was asking God, “Why me, Lord?”  “Why did you save me?”

Spouses, none of us deserves to be where we are today.

Psa.117:2 “For his merciful kindness is great toward us…”

Has God been merciful and kind to you?

Has God been slow to anger about your sins and failures?

Are you merciful toward your spouse when they sin?

How do you treat them when they have failed?

Are you a kind, merciful Christian to your spouse?

“Be ye therefore merciful, as your Father also is merciful” Luke 6:36

Psa. 117:2 “For his merciful kindness is great toward us…”

Do you have family members that you have prayed for their salvation.

Why should God send new converts to you when you cannot show mercy, kindness or grace to the ones that are in your midst now.

First pray for your lack of kindness and mercy towards your spouse.

Do you think that as long as you do not drink, smoke, fornicate or commit adultery that means that you are pure?

“The wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.”  Jas.3:17

Are you partial and only show mercy to your spouse when they show mercy to you?

Don’t you hate to be around someone that you know is going to chop you up?

Then why do you do that to your spouse?

How many times has God dug you out of something that could have totally destroyed you?

You can show mercy to your spouse by putting your arm around them, a smile, or a touch.

Maybe you think lecturing them or thrashing them will do good.

If you bask in the comfort thought that God has been merciful to you, you will have an abundance of mercy for your spouse.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

ARE YOU HUNGRY YET?

You know that your body depends on food for nourishment and health but your soul longs for heaven.

Your earthly things can’t SUPPORT your soul.

Whether, you are having marital problems or not, stop right now and feed your soul.

Matt.5:6 “Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled.”

When those hunger PAINS hit your stomach, you know that you have to get food in you or you die.

Only the Holy Spirit can purify and satisfy your soul when it longs for holiness.

You can always depend on God to SATISFY your craving for him immediately.

Are you satisfied with yourself when you don’t consider your spouses feelings?

Do you know all there is to know about your Lord and savior, so you can act Christ-like in your marriage?

Or do you turn to your CAREER or material things to satisfy you?

There is so much more to learn about the “abundant life.”

John 6:35 “And Jesus said unto them, I am the bread of life: he that cometh to me shall never hunger; and he that believeth on me shall never thirst.”

Jesus says that he is the “bread of life” which is a basic food for living.

Eating is not something that you and I do just once a day.

In the same way, we should be learning and carrying Gods word in our hearts EVERYDAY and all through the day.

In your marriage, a husband is the “head of the household” but the wife is the “manager of the household.”

These are an important responsibility in the “eyes of God.”

It is hard to make righteous decisions without the supernatural guidance of the Holy Spirit.

This is a common TRAP that the enemy uses in marriages.

Sometimes when we ignore the importance of seeking after righteousness, we are like teenagers who think they know more than their parents.

Luke 6:25 “Woe unto you that are full!  For ye shall hunger.  Woe unto you that laugh now!  For ye shall mourn and weep.”

Are you planning your time for your next spiritual meal?

If not, you must plan for that spiritual meal in order to SURVIVE or you will die spiritually!!

CASE AND POINT:  In the 80’s my husband and I were missionaries in England.  One of the times when a team of men came from the states, a comment was made about the Americans from one of the British men.  He said that he could not believe how much Americans love their food.  He said that the Americans hadn’t even finished their meal and they were talking about what they were going to eat for their next meal.  He stated that the British eat just to get it over with.  We were laughing how Americans live to eat!

As a Christian, why can’t we be thirsting for our next encounter with the King of Kings and Lord of Lords.  What a privilege!!

Are you an empty head speaking empty words?

How SAD for your spouse who can’t rely on you to go to for Godly direction or Godly counsel.

Get hungry for God’s knowledge that only He can give to you.

Are you hungry YET?!?

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

STEPS TO MARITAL HAPPINESS (Part 3)

Meekness is not an easy virtue to put to practice.

We have an enemy that is always trying to stir up strife in our marriage.

Something will always come up to disturb your contentment.

Matt. 5:5 “Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth.”

Meekness is the workmanship of the Holy Spirit .

God’s graces are various and one of them is meekness.

God’s graces are compared to needlework in the Psalms.

Psa. 45:14a “She shall be brought unto the king in raiment of needlework…”

What makes needle point beautiful are the various colors in it.

That is the way the beatitudes are with an array of items that make us look beautiful in Christ.

66% of marital disagreements are never resolved according to John Gottman, a researcher at the University of Washington.

Meekness is twofold: Meekness towards God and meekness towards man.

Meekness towards God is submission to his will and flexibleness to his word.

Here are areas that we need to show meekness towards our spouse.

First, meekness involves a spouse to the bearing of injuries.

1Cor.13:5 “…is not easily provoked thinketh no evil…

Are you wrapped up in your own personal pains?

Meekness keeps spouses in tune with each other.

Psa.38:12,13 “They also that seek after my life lay snares for me: and they that seek my hurt speak mischievous things…But I, as a deaf man, heard not; and I was as a dumb man that openeth not his mouth.”

Meekness is the bridle for your mouth.

It binds up your tongue and guides it to good behavior.

Spouses we need to practice acting like a deaf man as if we do not hear the assaults that come our way.

Second, Meekness is forgiving of our injuries.

Mark 11:25 “And when ye stand praying, forgive…that your Father which is in heaven may forgive your trespasses.”

A meek spirit is a forgiving spirit.

We have a tendancy to forget kindness but remember injuries.

Forgiving for the unsaved is like cutting against the grain.

Do you smother the fire of your rage, but will not extinguish it?

Spouses, we need to make sure that fire is out!!

Third, Meekness is returning good for evil.

Matt.5:44 ”…Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you…”

Rom.12:20 “…if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink…”

1Pet.3:9  “Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing…”

It is brutish to treat your spouse with evil intentions.

It is devilish to repay with evil intentions.

Return a blessing next time and receive a blessing yourself.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

THE MAN WILL NOT REST

AS A STRANGER in a strange land, Ruth could not have known much about life in Israel.

So at the beginning of her short courtship with Boaz, she had little idea of what to expect.

She must have felt unsure, uneasy, and more than a little frightened.

Yet from the very beginning, Boaz demonstrated himself to be a godly man of strong character who would certainly keep his word, whatever it was.

When marriage to him became a distinct possibility, it must have reassured her to hear Naomi say, “The man will not rest until he has concluded the matter this day” (Ruth 3:18).

What Boaz said he would do, he would most certainly do.

A woman needs to feel her husband’s covenantal commitment to stay married and to love her and accept her.

Then she feels safe to give him the gift of who she is.

Every wife needs to know that romantic intimacy is just between her and her husband, and that he will not share any personal details with his friends.

Apparently that described Ruth, for after watching Boaz in many contexts, she could marry this man with a strong sense of both contentment and security.

NOTE:  This article came from Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis & Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help you succeed in your marriage.

TRY IT FOR A WEEK

Remember how much you and your wife talked when you were dating?

Do you recall how polite you were, how respectful of her feelings, how eager to please and delight?

Why not try that for a week?

What kind of things did you talk about when you were dating?

Probably not about diapers or budgets or household chores or the cost of groceries.

Try to mentally reconstruct some of your most enjoyable conversations, and then use those topics for some freshly stimulating dialogues.

What did you do to show her the meaning of polite?

Did you open the car door for her?

Invite her to go first?

Allow her to finish a thought before you shared your own perspective?

Make a list of all the things you did to show her what a gentlemen you were, and do them again.

How did you get her to laugh?

What especially pleased her?

How did you demonstrate your concern for her feelings?

Whatever you did, do it again, for a solid week…and then watch what happens.

NOTE:  This article was taken from Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis & Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

STEPS TO MARITAL HAPPINESS (Part 2) 

We will go to the beatitudes to show us God’s steps to “marital happiness.”

Gods desire is to show you how to fill your marriage with happiness and grace by using the beatitudes as a guideline.

The beatitudes are a strand of precious pearls, which are an ornament of “grace.”

These are steps to God-likeness and blessedness.

The first pearl was Matt.5:3 “Blessed are the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.”

This poverty is in a mans spirit, not in his pocket.

The next pearl is in Matthew 5:4:

Matt.5:4 “Blessed are they that mourn: for they shall be comforted.”

The definition of “mourn,” is grief and sorrow caused by profound loss, especially death.

Don’t compare

Who are these mourners who are blessed?

All mourners are not all blessed.

If you were to connect your conduct towards your spouse, with God’s thoughts about it, you would get a shock that would sober you up.

So go down deep into the hidden corners of your heart and expose them to yourself so you can see what God see’s.

The elders of Israel told the people they worshipped creeping things, abominable things, lustful things which lived within their heart.

The way to heaven is to feel that we are on the way to hell.

In order to have a spiritually healthy marriage you must be aware of your corruption and abhor your own transgressions.

You have a “Great Physician” who wants to heal you of all your heart diseases.

If you can look on sin and not be sorrowful then you have never looked on Christ.

Beware if you can sin and feel no difference because you are not far from having a callous heart.

Luke 6:25 “Woe to you who are well-fed now, for you shall be hungry.  Woe to you who laugh now, for you shall mourn and weep.”

1Cor.5:2 “And you have become arrogant, and have not mourned instead, in order that the one who had done this deed might be removed from your midst.”

The mourning is not the revelation that you have contributed ungodliness to your marriage, it is that those sins have brought and continue to bring death to the marital balance.

Those that mourn know they have lost their self-respect, their righteousness, and mourn the loss of the innocence in their marriage.

Confession is one thing, contrition (mourn and grief) is another.

When you mourn, you are not under the heading of “chance”, you are under the blanket of transformation by the power of the ever-blessed God.

Marital mourning is regret that you have been a disappointment to the Lord concerning your marriage.

The marriages the are happy and spiritually prosperous are the ones that are mourning, because they will be strengthened and encouraged by consolation.

If you are sensitive to the Holy Spirit the sins that you now commit will be a sense of daily grief to you.

When you are broken hearted about your sins, you will think that God is far away but when he is really the closest to you.

What men esteem, God despises.  What God esteems, man despises.

God loves a broken and contrite heart!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

STEPS TO MARITAL HAPPINESS (part 1) 

The word “blessed” in the bible means “happy.”

In Matt.5:3 Gods word says, “…blessed are the poor in spirit…”

This is a guarantee that if we want to be happy in our marriage we must be “poor in spirit.”

Statistics show that in earlier years of marriage couples are not as happy as in the later part of their marriage.

If we FOLLOW Gods plan for marriage, then we don’t have to wait for our later years.

We can find fulfillment and happiness every day in Christ.

What then is “poor in spirit” and what do we need to do to attain it?

To be “poor in spirit” is to have a humble opinion of ourselves.

As a spouse, you must have no righteousness of your own.

It is the OPPOSITE of pride, vanity and ambition.

Do you display pride in your marriage towards your spouse when he is wrong in an issue?

How about in spiritual AREAS?

Are you vain when it comes to yourself?  May be you convince yourself that you just want to look nice.

Does the importance of your career sometimes drown out your marital responsibilities?

How do you know if you are “…poor in spirit…?”

First, are you a Christ-admirer?

This means that you should want Christ in your life more than anything.  This is a person whose heart and mind is totally sold out to God.

Second, do you spend much time in prayer?

Do you realize that your marriage depends on your prayer life to intercede for your spouse.  We are commanded to intercede for others especially for our spouse.  That is what a “helpmeet” does as their responsibility.

Third, are you weaned from yourself?

Psa.131:12 “My soul is even as a weaned child.”  Are you hung up on yourself?  Do you find yourself staying in your comfort zone?  Do you put what makes you happy over what makes your spouse happy?  If so, you have not been weaned from yourself.

Fourth, are you lowly in heart?

Job 42:6 “…I abhor myself in dust…” Job rolled himself in dust to show his sense of unworthiness.  What do you do to show God that you are unworthy?  You can start by looking for opportunities to serve your spouse.

Are you willing to be where God places you?

Are you willing to BEAR what God lays on you as a spouse?

I hope you are not thinking you deserve God’s favor because of how hard you have it as a spouse!!

You need to be willing to be God’s Hands.

That is when you WILL BE blessed and happy.

Henry Ward Beecher said, “The strength and the happiness of a man consists in finding out the way in which God is going, and going in that way, too.”

If you want a happy marriage, you have to see yourself as you are, and want to make the changes in your life.

Which path are you going to take your marriage down today?

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

SEXUAL FULFILLMENT in CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE

NOTE FROM NANCY:  The following is from the back of a book called “Intended for Pleasure.”  It is a must for every married couple.  Because of the content, I have decided to not post important information you need but to recommend that you purchase it.  This way parents can delicately talk to their children if they decide to. If I posted this information on my blog, parents may not approve of their children reading it.  This book was written to help married adults fulfill and enjoy their sex relationship.

Make your sexual relationship the fulfilling experience God meant it to be.

GOD GAVE HUMANKIND THE GIFT OF SEX.

But many couples don’t experience the kind of joy and fulfillment God intended.

If you’ve ever been frustrated with a lack of intimacy in your marriage, or if you just want to know more about how you can get the most out of your relationship, Intended for Pleasure is for you.

This honest and frank resource will answer your questions about sex and sexuality, improving sexual response, sex techniques for pregnancy, birth control, sex at any age, solutions for sexual problems, and much more.

All of the questions you’ve been afraid to ask (or didn’t even know to ask!) are answered right here.

The most important book on Christian sexuality is better than ever.

A CLASSIC FOR THIRTY YEARS, Intended for Pleasure is an easy-to-read reference book that combines biblical teaching on love and marriage with the latest medical information on sex and sexuality.

This popular resource gently encourages married couples to make their sexual relationship the fulfilling experience it was meant to be.

This is a complete sex manual with basic facts, illustrations, and frank discussion of all facets of human sexuality.

A perfect gift for newlyweds and a sourcebook for pastors and marriage counselors, this book has helped more than a million people understand and enjoy the gift God intended for pleasure.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.