LOVE YOUR SPOUSE

SATURDAY QUESTION & ANSWER 

NOTE:  This article is from Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

Question #1:  What kinds of thoughts go through my husband’s mind when he initiates physical intimacy?

Answer #1:  There is more going through a typical husband’s mind at that moment than many women may realize!  Consider a few of the questions he may be asking himself:

1.  Do you want me?  Will you welcome me?  There is no other person I can go to who will affirm this side of me.

2.  Will you trust me with your body?  Or will you pull away?

3.  Do you really want to please me?  Do you have any idea how important this is to me?  Am I important enough in your life to focus on what I need sexually as a man?

4.  How did I do?  Did I do just okay, or did I really bring great pleasure to you?  I gain my greatest satisfaction from knowing that you have received and enjoyed pleasure.

The sexual fulfillment of your husband is directly related to how his wife communicates her sexual love to him.  How do you communicate that you need him?  Do you usually wait for him, or do you initiate?  Do you respond or do you resist?  Your attitude and actions are essential parts of the experience

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

                                                              TRY BALANCING ACTS; THEY WORK                                                                  

In the early 70’s there was a program on TV called “Wonder Woman.” This woman was perfect in stature, looks and strength. Everyone wanted to look like her. One night when my husband and I went to dinner, she was in the restaurant. I noticed her because she was so tall and beautiful. Her role was to be a female “Superman.”

The bible has Proverbs 31 virtuous woman, who to us women, she seems like a “Wonder Woman” with supernatural power.

Once again we will continue our series on this Proverbs 31 woman as a “profile peeker” to see who she really is.

“She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.” Prov.31:16

Here is a woman who is balancing her personal life with her professional life.

This woman who is TRUSTED by her husband is hard-working and shrewd.

There is much liberty when we submit to God’s order and we see that she had liberty of choice.

“She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.”

The principle here is that this woman uses her mind as she envisions the long-range benefits of her decisions.

She doesn’t make rash decisions, but logically analyzes a situation.

In Larry Burkett’s book called PERSONAL FINANCES he states, “It is important that wives and mothers excel at what they do. Usually the mother becomes the teacher of habits in the home, and her attitudes are generally reflected by her children. If she excels at what she does and keeps the home well-organized, she can be a great asset to home financial planning.”

His comment is almost exactly what this Proverbs 31 woman was like.

It is hard to juggle all the balls that are thrown at you daily, isn’t it?

Life is busy—especially if you are a working mother with small children.

We are expected to bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, serve it, clean up the dishes, and do it all OVER AGAIN the next day.

God will give you strength.

Isa.40:29 “He gives strength to the weary, and increases the power of the weak.”

God can renew your strength to ACCOMPLISH all that is on your plate for the day.

Are you overwhelmed? Facing a lot?

TURN TO GOD!!

Prov.31:16, goes on to say that she spends her money wisely, providing for her family.

This vineyard provides for the future because it keeps producing grapes for wine. She can plant more vines and then buy more land.

Are you the type of person who buys items on a whim?

Do you consider what the item will be worth to you later on?

This woman is not borrowing money or using credit cards.

This woman uses spare money out of her SAVINGS.

This is exactly what God desires for each one of us.

He doesn’t want us begging, borrowing or in agonizing debt.

God wants to see us in financial freedom with all our needs met.

1Tim.2:10 ”For the love of money is the root of all sorts of evil, and some by longing for it have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many griefs.”

In pursuit of making more money, we can choose to neglect the important priorities in our lives.

We can neglect spending time with our SPOUSE or make poor decisions that lack integrity.

Prayerfully determine your financial priorities.

Distinguish between needs and wants.

If you are in debt, get out of debt!

Glorify God with your marriage.

Let the HOLY SPIRIT set up short term and long term goals for you.

Start today!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

YOUR SPOUSE IS WORTH IT

There is a product called “sleepy time tea”.  According to Celestial Seasoning, “sleepy time tea” has an aroma that helps soothe your body after a long day.

This tea, with other ingredients, can make it a little difficult to wake up in the morning.

As we once again do our “profile peeking” into the Proverbs 31 woman, we see that she is awake and alert.

Prov.31:15 “She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.”

This woman had a servant spirit.

Even though it is the job of the servants to feed their master, she got up early to feed her servants.

She must have made a commitment to God to be a servant and for her, it was a joyful way of life.

By listening to people, you find out the need in their life.

This gives you an opportunity to meet that need.

Especially apply this to your husband who is just as important as you are.

Gal.5:13 “…by love serve one another.”

Try to practice getting up earlier.  Read your word or pray.  Put on your make up and comb your hair.  Then put on a pot of coffee.

You are now ready to wake up your spouse.  Lol!!

What!!!  You mean you don’t do that?!?

Ok, girls.  You are really going to score some points with your hubby tomorrow morning!!  Lol!!

“She gets up while it is still dark; she provides food for her family and portions for her servant girls.”

One of her top priorities is to set the pace because she understands that as a good manager her responsibility is to take care of those under her authority.

She mastered the skill of homemaking before she mastered her skills in the marketplace.

Have you mastered the skill of housework?

You must learn some expertise at home before you delegate that work to someone else.

This woman was energetic and a hard worker.

Let’s see what the scriptures have to say about the opposite type of woman.

Prov.6:9-11 “How long wilt thou sleep, O sluggard?  When wilt thou arise out of thy sleep? (Yet) a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep: So shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth, and thy want as an armed man.”

Prov.20:13 “Love not sleep, lest thou come to poverty; open thine eyes, (and) thou shalt be satisfied with bread.”

Eccles.9:10 “Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do (it) with thy might…”

Rom.12:11 “…not slothful in business; fervent in spirit; serving the Lord…”

Ok, it’s time to put down the “sleepy time tea”.

The virtuous woman loves her God given role better than her ease or her pleasure.

This woman has chosen well and has a great attitude about life.

How are you going to play this one?

Are you going to rise early or are you a sluggard?

Only you can make that choice.

Let God shower you with blessings for making the right choice.

You have a special presence in your family.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

SPOUSES GOING THE EXTRA MILE

Everyone wants to be successful but who would not turn down the chance to use a shortcut.

There was a woman who had won a long marathon years ago.  She came in first and was rewarded for her great skill, perseverance and diligence to finish this race.  Later, as they checked tapes and interviewed people, they realized that she wasn’t even in the marathon.  She jumped in at the end.

It takes a very deceptive person to attempt something like that.

As we continue in our series to be “profile peekers”, we will again take a look at the Proverbs 31 woman.

Prov.31:14 “She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar.”

This woman goes the extra mile for quality.

What she does, she does with excellence.

Nothing is mediocre.  Mediocre is lacking exceptional quality or ability.

Nothing that God does, or does for us, is mediocre.

God never takes shortcuts when it comes to his children nor should you when it comes to your God.

Rom.16:19 “Everyone has heard about your obedience, so I am full of joy over you.”

Are you productive, hardworking and willing to be obedient to be successful?

We always want God’s best and blessings but God isn’t a candy machine.

Just like you are diligent and obedient at work, God expects you to be that way for His Kingdom.

This starts first in your marriage and then leads to others outside of marriage.

A common commitment to excellence is one of the most vital bonds to holding a marriage together.

You should strive for excellence in yourself, not in your partner.

You should recognize the need for raising your standards and setting new records for yourself.

I don’t think that nothing pleases me more than to find myself in a situation that does not annoy me anymore.

It feels so good to be able to function peacefully under a stressful situation.

The evil one does not relax nor does he let up attacking your marriage.

Remember, just because you have overcome in an area, don’t think that another one won’t come up in a different direction.

Tomorrow will bring new challenges but that will give you an opportunity to excel beyond what you have done today.

Are you putting your heart and soul into your marriage?

Are you giving everything you can the way you do for your hobbies or other interests?

Are you striving for total quality in your marriage?

1Tim.5:10  “Well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints’ feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work.”

This wise woman has let the Holy Spirit do the guiding and she became the vessel.

This woman is fine with “dirt work”, because she works willingly with her hands.

When you are doing good work for your family keep your mind on it and don’t be weary.

Go the extra mile!  This is your only marriage to shine in!!

NO SHORTCUTS!!

Be cheerful!!!   You can do it!!!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be success

ENERGY FOR WIVES

There has been a big shift in the way business is conducted in comparison to a few decades ago.

Everything is computerized and HIGH TECH, but thank God he never changes.

We will continue being a “profile peeker” on the Proverbs 31 woman.

Prov.31:13 “She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.”

In this scripture, we now see the virtuous woman in an earthly role.

She is now being an ACTIVE wife and mother of the home and business by planning and providing for her family.

This woman selects wool and flax and works with eager hands.

Do you accomplish your responsibilities at HOME?

You aren’t a “clutter bug” are you?

In Acts 16:14, we see that Paul mentions a woman named Lydia, who was a dealer in purple cloth.  This woman was chosen by God to take care of Paul.

You need to find out what God wants you to do for your family and his kingdom.

You might be ASKING, how do I know what God wants me to do?

We need to search the scriptures daily because it is clearly written in His Word.

As soon as God enters our life, the HOLY SPIRIT enters in and brings gifts with Him.

As you volunteer for service, you will see what you are gifted in.

When you POUR yourself into something, then you feel that you are worth something.

Once you are a blessing in someone else’s life, or eventually slot into the right work of service for the Lord, you will experience more self-confidence.

When you work within your gift, instead of getting tired, you will be ENERGIZED.

Psa.124:8 (MSG) “God’s strong name is our help, the same God who made heaven and earth.”

God will help you with whatever you are doing to further His kingdom.

1Tim.5:8 “But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

No matter how spiritual you may think you are, if you fail to provide for your husband and children, you have denied the faith and are worse than an unbeliever.

Providing for your husband as “helpmeet”, also includes helping with his spiritual needs.

You do this by modeling godly character, praying for and with him, by spending time in God’s word and by looking for ways to encourage him.

Although business has changed and our lives have become more technological, GOD is still the same.

He desires to use you like this Proverbs 31 woman who worked willingly with her hands.

Assume responsibility as a lover and a servant to care for the gift God has given you—your spouse.

NOTE: Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

A WIFE IS SOMEONE TO HAVE FUN WITH

Dreamworks Animation SKG has a philosophy which states: We…embrace innovation, creativity, collaboration, and a solid dose of fun.  This company has made many famous animated movies.

This definition of all these adjectives together mean, “working together to create something for the first time.”

In Mal.2:11, marriage is called “…The  Lord’s holy institution which He loves…”

In Mal.2:14,  it implies that a wife is someone to have fun with, “…the wife…is your companion…”

In Mal.2:15, it explains that God created marriage to obtain Godly children, “But did He not make them one…He seeks Godly offspring…”

I would say that God’s establishment of marriage is embracing innovation, creativity, collaboration, and a solid dose of fun.

A marriage definitely is a “working together to create something for the first time.”

Your wedding day was full of high expectations and excitement.

God gave you to your husband so that he could meet his God-given POTENTIAL.

As the years pass on, there are unmet expectations and great disappointment that starts to invade your marriage.

Do you find yourself trying to SHAPE your husband into the man you desire him to be?

Do you find yourself telling him what you think he should be doing for the kingdom of God?

Do you find yourself frustrated at times because your hopes and dreams have faded and not come to pass?

Prov.31:12 “She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.”

Make it your constant business to do your spouse GOOD and don’t do anything that would displease him.

God knows your husband’s heart and what He created him for.

Let God take the lead since he knows what you both as a couple can ACCOMPLISH.

God knows that it is hard for you to wait on your dreams for your family.

Gal.6:10 “…let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.”

You need to be a peacemaker to him.

Do you make life EASY for him?

Do you attend to him with diligence and tenderness?

Watch over anything that would DAMAGE him, his family, his estate, or his reputation.

Do this with joy and not grudgingly.

You have been given to him “for better or worse, in health or sickness, for richer or poorer.”

You do this because you Love God and desire to please Him and not only your husband.

A virtuous wife brings him GOOD, not harm, all the days of her life.

You need to do these things, not just because it is convenient or profitable.

Your character NEEDS to be steady, reliable, and dependable.

You can do this!  You were made for this!

The dream will come, but it takes work.

TEAMWORK makes the DREAM WORK.

The Dream Works.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

THE BEST GIFT OF ALL?

Do you think that it’s possible you might spend hours and hours searching for that special something that you just know your husband will love, only to discover it’s not really on his radar screen at all?  It’s not only possible, we’re sure it happens all the time.

And yet there’s a gift we absolutely guarantee that he’ll love.

You won’t find it at the department store.  It’s not for sale in the athletic shop.  You won’t pick it off the shelf in the automotive parts store, secure it in the athletic club, spot it at the bowling alley, or purchase it at your local big box megahemoth shopping center.

Actually, you already have it…you just have to give it.  So would you like to know what it is?  We really think it might be the best gift of all.  And here it is:

Refrain from saying, “I told you so.”

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

NOTE:  This article is from Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

SATURDAY – QUESTION & ANSWER 

Question #1:  My husband just made a big mistake.  How should I handle it?

Answer #1:  In our first month of marriage, Dennis took the initiative to make a small financial investment, and we ended up losing money.  As we talked it over and I shared my disappointment, it was obvious Dennis knew he had made a poor choice.

At that point I faced a choice of my own:  Would I accept him as my husband, or would I nag him and make him feel like a failure even more?

I realized that God had a plan for Dennis.  He wanted to use this mistake to teach Dennis how to depend on Christ and be a better husband.  I needed to get out of God’s way and let Him work in my husband’s life.

At times like this, a wife learns that love is not all feelings.  This is where you honor your wedding vows and say, “I’m committed to you, no matter what.”  That’s what real love is, and that’s what a husband most needs from his wife–especially when he makes a big mistake.  He knows he’s failed; what he doesn’t know is if you’ll still accept him and respect him.  Make sure you do!

NOTE:  This article is from the book Family life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

CAN YOUR SPOUSE TRUST YOU?

We have all seen pictures of the “Leaning Tower of Pisa” (Torre pendent di Pisa) in Italy. It took 177 years to build the tower and then it began to sink right after construction began. It was set in weak, unstable subsoil, which was a flawed design from the beginning. After the flaw was discovered, there was an array of interruptions that caused the 177 year delay.

I thought it was a cartoon. My second thought was why anyone would go into that kind of building, just because someone said it is safe. I was convinced it would tip over at any moment.

I am not a little girl anymore, but there are a lot of times I wonder why people are putting their trust in different things.

One area is the way a husband can put his trust in a woman, who FLAUNTS his business to anyone who will listen.

Nothing is sacred!! Not their finances, their relationship, not their sex life.

Since we are still “profile peekers” into the Proverbs 31 woman, let’s continue to look at the verses.

Prov.31:11 “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.”

Her husband has full confidence in her and LACKS nothing of value.

If you are a Christian woman, then you know about being committed.

One of the commands in the bible is to reverence and adapt to your husbands needs. Eph.5:33 “…and the wife see that she reverence her husband…”

If you are a woman who is meeting your husbands sexual needs, then the bible says that “…he shall have no need of spoil.”

Your husband should not have any reason to look elsewhere for love, because his queen is delighted to richly satisfy him.

I am not saying that if your husband has committed adultery on you, it is because you are not having sex with him.

This verse is saying, if you do SATISFY him sexually, he will have no need to go elsewhere.

Use your body to bless him, not as a sex weapon.

Remember that sex is God’s great idea. Heb.13:4 “Marriage is honorable in all and the marriage bed is undefiled…”

When you ask any man, what kind of a woman does he want to marry. His response usually is, ”A woman I can trust.”

Prov.12:14 “A worthy wife is her husbands joy and crown; the other kind corrodes his strength and tears down everything he does.”

What guy is looking for a wife that would TEAR him down?

You need to live with the knowledge that you have done your part.

This is what makes my marriage so EXCITING!!

You are only responsible for your behavior, not your husbands.

I only need to do MY part.

If your husband does not do his part, you are still rewarded for doing your part. You might even get doubly rewarded for the trust you are putting in God.

Does your husband TRUST you during the day, because when he comes home, there you are with a big smile, lip gloss on, and ready to meet his needs?

He doesn’t have to be jealous because he knows how much you love him by the importance you put on him.

The word “trust” is used 152 times in various forms.

The Hebrew word for “trust” is batach, which signifies to lean on.

When times are bad, this is when he needs to know that he can COUNT on you.

His queen is there to lean on.

When bad times come, do you THREATEN your husband?

When bad times come, do you support him?

CASE AND POINT: One time my husband was so overwhelmed by the “spiritual death” of one of our children. My heart broke more for him than our child. The next day as we talked and strengthened each other, we were able to partner and strengthen one another. We decided that the devil picked on the wrong family, and he was going to be soooo sorry he did.

Start today!

It doesn’t cost a penny. It is free!

Can he lean on you?

Let his heart safely trust in HIS QUEEN!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

LET’S SPY ON THE PERFECT WIFE

So what is a “profile peeker ?”

According to Urban Dictionary, “Such a person…spends large amounts of time on Facebook looking at other people’s profiles, often browsing through your photos, wall, groups, or recent activity posted on your mini-feed.”  It gives the peeker (spy) the ability to know all your friends’ movements and thoughts, to the point of obsession.

We are going to be a “profile peeker” (spy) on the PERFECT WIFE.

She is a wife that most wives do not like to talk about: She’s Perfect!

This perfect woman is the Proverbs 31 virtuous woman.

Yes, we will be spying on her as we peek at her profile.

Who is she?

What does she do?

How does she do all that she does?

Prov.31:10 “Who can find a virtuous woman?  For her price is far above rubies.”

In the Jewish home, every week on the eve of the Sabbath, most Jewish women heard this poem as it was traditionally recited.  Mary, the mother of Jesus must have grown up trying to model herself with the Proverbs 31 woman.

Ruth is the only woman in the bible called “virtuous.”

Ruth 3:11 “…for all the city of my people doth know that thou art a virtuous woman.”

In verse 10, the word virtuous in Hebrew is chayil, which means “strong in all moral and mental qualities.”

This verse shows this woman as being not just morally strong but invaluable.

This virtuous woman has 31 CHARACTERISTICS that are mentioned.

Does this woman sound too good to be true?  She isn’t real.  She is a model of “ideal womanhood.”

Does everyone excel in everything?  NO!

This can be applied to SINGLE woman also.

Even though the virtuous woman is not a real person, this poem was designed to show a woman what kind of a wife she should be and what kind of a wife a man should choose.

We are all gifted in various areas, but we are also at times in our lives STRETCHED beyond our giftedness.

In verse 10, it says, where can he find her?  This is saying that good women are hard to find.

This is telling men not to be confused and LUST after a woman’s beauty.

The focal point needs to be her relationship with God, not her abilities, gifts or marital status.

Her STRENGTH comes from God, regardless of her acquired skills, natural talents, or accomplishments.

Who is the virtuous woman today?

IT IS THE WOMAN WHO PUTS GOD FIRST.

Prov. 12:4 “A virtuous (noble) woman (is) a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed (is) as rottenness in his bones.

This scripture has a very big contrast in it.

FIRST, verse 4 shows that she is a woman of worth and she is commended for her dignity and credit that she adds to her husband.

A morally strong woman is STRENGTH to her husband.

SECOND, in contrast, you can make him ashamed.

You can be as “rottenness to his bones.”

This is constant erosion to his position as the head of the household which is his God ordained position.

Is your husband a king without a crown?

You are that crown of royalty on his head.

Did you find anything out as a “profile peeker”?

Did you learn anything new?

Let’s keep strong moral standards.

Let’s not embarrass our husbands.

Today you can give it your all!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.