LOVE YOUR SPOUSE

REWARDS FOR THE OLDER WIFE

A few decades ago there was a song telling about the different stages of life.  After each stage, Peggy Lee would sing the words, “Is that all there is?”

Those words indicate that after each stage in life, there was a big disappointment for her.

This is where a lot of women over 50 are at after they have raised their children, been a responsible wife and worked through the issues of life.

In Titus, Paul is talking to the older women specifically.

Titus 2;3 “The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness…”

This is your time to ENJOY the rewards of maturity.

Child bearing and monthly period discomfort are some of the areas God has just relieved you from.

You have lived in the “rat race of life”, up to this point.

Now you can LIVE for God, your husband, and yourself.

Charles Spurgeon, a famous Christian preacher who brought revival to England said these words, “And how beautifully can an aged Christian woman, by her kindly example, be a teacher of good things!  There is no more charming sight under heaven, I think, than that of an elderly Christian lady, whose words and whose whole life are such as becometh the gospel of Christ.”

In those days, I am sure that the average life span for women at that time was under 50 years.

No matter what you or anyone else thinks of you, Gods opinion is the only one that should count in your life.

God has five commands for the older woman which are not suggestions.  He commands them of us.

1. Live holy.  (vs.3)
2. Be not slanderers.  (vs.3)
3. Not given to wine.  (vs.3)
4. Be teachers of good things.  (vs.3)
5. Teach the young women.  (vs. 4)

The word “slander” in the Greek is pronounced diabolos  which means DEVIL.

Every time you gossip about somebody, you are partaking in the devils perfect plan.

It is our responsibility to prepare this next generation with GODLY womanhood.

I am not saying it, the word of God is saying it.

Women, if we do not do this, then we will fail to be what God wants us to be.

Are you more mature and serene with this NEW season of life?

Are you more well poised and charming?

Most “boomers” now days are mentally fruitful and full of energy.

Don’t let the devil lure you into his party;  the PITY PARTY.

We all watch TV and see so many items geared for the “boomers.”

Everyone wants to stay young forever but it will not happen.

Let’s enjoy  ourselves and do the things God has called us to do.

Psa.92:14 “They shall still bear fruit in old age;They shall be fresh and flourishing.”

This is a promise from God, but you have to start today in order to be fresh and flourishing in the future.

You have a lot to give.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help make your marriage a success.

BUILDING YOUR MATE DURING THE STORM

Nehemiah 4:2

The storms of life are coming, and believe us, they will affect you and your mate differently.  So how can you turn toward one another instead of away from each other?  There are many ways to do this:

First, recognize that suffering will come.  James 1:2 says, “Count it all joy when you fall into various trials.”  The passage doesn’t say if you encounter them.  Anticipate possible challenges and freely share your feelings about suffering.  If you have a plan and know biblically how to view adversity, then it won’t cause you to go to war with one another.  Indeed, you can turn troubles and trials into something purposeful, meaningful, and an opportunity for growth.

Second, give your mate the freedom to process what’s going on in his life.  Don’t expect him or her to flip a switch and just deal with the problem and move on.  It’s not usually that easy.  If your mate’s suffering doesn’t diminish after a reasonable time, resist the temptation to make such statements as, “Snap out of it and trust God!” or, “Quit acting like a big baby!” or, “We’ve spent enough time talking about this.  I think it’s time we just put the whole matter to rest.”  We become like Christ only by going through a lifelong process.  Trials and tragedies should force us to turn to God, but one person may take longer than another to come to that point.

Third, find out what your mate needs.  Often it is best simply to say, “I want to meet your needs and be the best possible partner I can be, but at times I don’t know how.  Would you tell me how you want me to love and encourage you in this situation?”  Talk about your feelings and give your spouse the freedom to feel whatever.

Fourth, build your marital foundation on Christ.  Jesus said, “Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock” (Matt.7:24-25).  When you build your home on Christ, you place it on the only foundation that can withstand trouble, trials, and tribulation.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

NOTE:  This article came from the book Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

LET US RISE UP AND BUILD

In his Pulitzer Prize winning book, Profiles in Courage, John F. Kennedy wrote, “Some men showed courage throughout their lives; others sailed with the wind until the decisive moment when their conscience and events propelled them into the center of the storm.”  Twenty-five hundred years ago in the land of Persia, the terrible plight of his people propelled a man named Nehemiah into the center of the storm.

Nehemiah risked his life by sharing his burden with his boss, a powerful, pagan king.  When, asked to  state his objective, Nehemiah replied, “Send me to Judah, to the city of my fathers’  tombs, that I may rebuild it (Neh.2:5).  The king granted his bold request.

Weeks later, when Nehemiah stood before the forlorn inhabitants of Jerusalem, he cried out, “You see the distress that we are in, how Jerusalem lies waste and its gates are burned with fire.  Come and let us build the wall of Jerusalem, that we may no longer be a reproach.”  And the people responded heartily, “Let us rise up and build” (Neh.2:17,18).

Are the walls of your marriage lying waste or burned with fire?  Does anything about your union feel like a reproach?  If so, take of Nehemiah’s courage, rise up, and rebuild those walls!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

NOTE:  This article is from the book Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

AVOIDING MARITAL MISTAKES

Blaspheme is any insulting remark or curse, even attributing to Satan the works of the Word of God.

You might be a wife and you are telling yourself that you would never blaspheme Gods Word.

Let’s search the scriptures and see what they say about wives.

Titus 2:3-5 “The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”

This is exciting that the Apostle Paul wants to give us some clear guidance so that we don’t make mistakes.

He wants us to have a fruitful life and not blaspheme Gods Word.

Different magazines, like Forbes, will print the list of the top 100 most powerful women.  The list will be of women who hold a political office, presidents, chairmen and CEO’s of large companies.

None of these women were noted to be “powerful” or “influential” because of their work as a mother or wife.

We can’t take this list lightly!!

God has given us, who will read and study his word, insight into what God considers to be “influential” and “powerful”.

First he tells the older woman what they should be doing.

Titus 2:3 “Guide older women into lives of reverence so they end up as neither gossips or drunks, but models of goodness.”  (MSG)

These are some pretty harsh words for the older women.

Notice that it says to be “models of goodness”.   Goodness is expected of both the younger and older women.

All women, younger and older, are expected to practice reverence.  They are not to be gossipers or drunkards but practice the goodness of God in their lives.

No woman is exempt from these commands.

What makes a woman successful and significant according to the world, is entirely different from what Gods view is.

Be alert!!  You will find yourself leaning towards what the world thinks if you do not keep your mind in God’s word.

That is BLASPHEME!!

That is BLASPHEME of God’s Word!!

Titus 2:4-5 “By looking at them, the younger women will know how to love their husbands and children, be virtuous and pure, keep a good house, be good wives.”  (MSG)

CASE AND POINT:  I remember as a new Christian, I was thrilled to see this scripture.  I felt like I was the only one on earth having trouble loving my husband and children.  I thought it should come automatically as a women.  I was trying to keep up with my Christian ministries, work a full time job, take and pick-up one newborn from a sitter and another one from pre-school.  I was spiritually drowning.  I realized there were going to be times in life when I would want to resign from being a wife or mother.  Obviously, God strengthened me and pulled me through since I have now been serving Him over 45 years and loving it.

If you are feeling guilty about motherhood or your job as a wife, don’t.

Jesus says he cares for you, and the Holy Spirit is there to strengthen   you.

Titus 2:5b 

…We don’t want anyone looking down on God’s Message because of their behavior.”

This is our moment to shine girls!!

We become the “Queen of God’s heart.”

This is where He becomes so pleased with us.

This is where God places us into His magazines!  All through His word he talks about rewarding us for doing good.

Fighting the good fight and loving it!!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

SUFFERING IS USED BY GOD

Suffering is the greatest challenge to the Christian faith.

I have wives come up to me concerning their marriage.  Many of them feel that their suffering is unavoidable and unfair.

Here is a list of three different types of suffering:

First, there is global suffering (earthquakes, famine, etc.).

Second, there is community suffering (plane crashes, ship sinking, etc.).

Third, suffering as an individual which does affect those around us (death, poverty).

Suffering is a problem for Judeo-Christian tradition because we believe that God is good and all-powerful.

God’s original plan was that there would be no suffering but it entered the world when Adam and Eve sinned.

Why did God allow sin to enter the world?

God wanted us to have free will to love.

Without you being able to choose, then love is forced without real choice.

You had a choice as to who you would marry.

You don’t have a choice on your parents or siblings, nor people in your school or workplace.

You don’t even get a choice on the sex of your children or their personalities.

So often the repercussions we suffer are a result of our own sin.

There are physical laws of nature; if you put your hand in fire, you get burned.

There are moral laws; if you take drugs, you suffer the consequences.

Are you selfish, greedy, lustful, arrogant or bad tempered?

If you are, this will lead to a broken marriage relationship and unhappiness.

On a global scale, the biblical flood is an example of God judging sin in this life.

Sodom and Gomorrah is an example of a community disaster.

In John 9:1-3, Jesus expresses how suffering is not automatically linked to a sin.

In Luke 13:1-5, Jesus points out that a natural disaster is also not always a form of punishment from God.

God works through suffering

1.  Suffering is used by God to draw us to Christ.

It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.

If you are rebellious in your marriage, God could use a megaphone as an instrument of pain to draw you to Him.

2.  God uses suffering to bring us to Christian maturity.

Jesus learned obedience from what he suffered (Heb.12:10).

God uses suffering to build our character.

God also uses suffering to make our lives more fruitful.

Great triumphs in your marriage can only come after great trials.

3.  God often uses suffering to bring his good purposes. (Rom.8:28)

Joseph suffered rejection, imprisonment, trials, and temptations.

The blessings of God in your marriage will far outweigh the suffering (Rom.8:18; 2Cor.4:17).

4.  God is a God who suffers along side of us.

He became one of us; he suffered in all the ways in which we suffer (2Cor.5:19).

When we suffer, He suffers.

How do we respond to suffering?

Questions you need to ask yourself are:

1.  “Is this suffering a result of my own sin?”

Ask God to reveal any specific sin then repent and ask for God’s forgiveness and cleansing.

2.  “What are you saying to me through this?”

There may be some particular lesson God is trying to teach you about your marriage.

3.  “What do you want me to do?”

4.   We need to hold on to our hope.

Remember that battles do not last forever and there is usually a blessing around the corner.

Life is full of battles and blessings running side by side.

Keep your eyes fixed on him  (Heb.12:2).

Jesus fought against suffering wherever he came across it.

• Fed the hungry
• Healed the sick
• Raised the dead

We are called to follow in Jesus’ steps.

The devil always tries to make you suffer in your marriage.

You need to kick back with an iron boot!

There are tremendous blessings being poured out into your life right now.

Does God need to get out His megaphone or are you listening?

Whatever you are going through, God is going through it with you.

You have a partner!!

NOTE:  Most of the information was taken from a booklet called “Why does God allow suffering” by Nicky Gumbel.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a succeed.

BRAVE HUSBANDS DEALING WITH “PMS” WIVES

Do you find yourself getting upset and emotional about something that is not a big deal? Then you find out that it was right before your monthly menstruation.

Some women use PMS as an excuse to act ugly.

PMS is premenstrual Syndrome, a medical disorder characterized by a variety of physical and emotional symptoms that occur in women before menstruation.

Comments are from Bible Answer Stand written by Craig Bluemel.

A woman’s emotions may vary according to lower levels of estrogen and progesterone of key brain chemicals, such as serotonin.

This is the cause for anger and other emotions like depression, anxiety, or mood swings.

Physically at that time there is fluid retention, bloating, cramps, sore breasts, headaches, swollen feet and hands.

So what is the poor husbands to do?

Did God leave any instructions for the husbands.

Yes!!

Husbands are to treat their wives weakness or even sinful behavior as Jesus treats him when he is weak and sins.

1Pet.3:7-18 are instructions on what the treatment of the wife should be and his Christ-like response during times of conflict.

1Pet.3:7 (Amplified Bible) “In the same way you married men should live considerately with your wives, with an intelligent recognition of the marriage relation,  honoring the woman as physically the weaker, but realizing that you are joint heirs of the grace of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut-off, otherwise you cannot pray effectively.”

If the husband’s prayers are heard, it is based solely on how he treats his wife, including his righteous response to her emotional negativity.

The word “weaker” in the Greek means more BEAUTIFUL, DELICATE and FRAIL.

The word “vessel” in the Greek means EQUIPMENT.  In reference to the wife, it describes her as contributing to the usefulness of the husband.

Unfaithfulness of husband and wife causes prayers to be hindered.

vs. 3:8 ”Finally, all of you (husbands) should be of one and the same mind (with your wife), united in spirit, sympathizing with another, loving each other as brethren of one household, compassionate and courteous, tender-hearted and humble.”

vs. 3:9 “(Husbands should) never return evil for evil or insult for insult, scolding, tongue-lashing, treating, but on the contrary blessing, praying for their (wife’s) welfare, happiness, and protection, and truly pitying and loving them.  For know that to this you (husbands) have been called, that you may yourselves inherit a blessing from God—that you may obtain a blessing as heirs, bringing welfare and happiness and protection (to your wife).”

vs. 3:10 “For let him who wants to enjoy life and see good days; good, whether apparent or not, keep his tongue free from evil and his lips from guile, treachery, deceit.”

vs. 3:11 “Let him turn away from wickedness and shun it, and let him do right.  Let him search for peace, harmony; undisturbedness from (his eagerly.  Do not merely desire peaceful relations with God, with your fellowmen (wife as fellow heir), and with yourself, but pursue, go after them!”

vs. 3:12 “For the eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous, those who are upright and in right standing with God, and His ears are attentive to their prayer.  But the face of the Lord is against those who practice evil, to oppose them, to frustrate, and defeat them.”

God will look on the wicked to punish them for their sins.

vs. 3:13 “Now who (which wife) is there to hurt you (husbands) if you are zealous followers of that which is good?”

A “follower” is an imitator.

vs. 3:14 “But even in case you should suffer for the sake of righteousness, you are blessed, happy, to be envied.  Do not dread or be afraid of their (wife’s) threats, nor be disturbed by their opposition.”

If you have the right attitude, all suffering for doing right will work to your good.

vs. 3:15 “But in your hearts set Christ apart as holy and acknowledge Him as Lord.  Always be ready to give a (her) logical defense to anyone who asks you to account for the hope that is in you, but do it courteously and respectfully.”

vs. 3:16 “And see to it that your conscience is entirely clear and unimpaired, so that, when you are falsely accused as evildoers (by her emotional tirade), those who threaten you abusively and revile your right behavior in Christ may come to be ashamed of slandering your good lives.”

If you maintain good behavior, you will have a good conscience.

vs.  3:17 “For it is better to suffer unjustly for doing right, if that should be God’s will, than to suffer justly for doing wrong.”

vs. 3:18 “For Christ himself died for sins once for all, the Righteous for the unrighteous, the Just for the unjust, the Innocent for the guilty, that He might bring us to God. (AMP)

It may seem a little unfair at the time, but the rewards of a great marriage are powerful for the kingdom of God.

PMS lasts for a few days, but the rewards of a good marriage  will last for eternity.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

EMOTIONAL SYMPTOMS OF – PMS

Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS) is a collection of physical and emotional symptoms related to a woman’s menstrual cycle.

According to a study published in the New England Journal of Medicine on January 22, 1998.  Cyclical fluctuations in blood levels  of the female sex hormones estrogen and progesterone play an important role in the syndrome’s onset.  So what may seem to some husbands as the “monster inside” during PMS may indicate the wife falls into the category of severe PMS symptoms experienced by about 2.5% of the female population.

The study provides evidence that cyclical  variations in estrogen and progesterone may lower levels of key brain chemicals, such as serotonin, in some of the women.

Symptoms of PMS usually last for about a week.  The most common symptom is low energy and fatigue. Other symptons are bloating, cramps, craving for sweet or salty foods, sore breasts, swollen feet or hands, headaches, acne and gastrointestinal problems.

Emotional symptoms of PMS are depression, irritability, anxiety, or mood swings.

Do you loose your playful teasing and joking?

Do you loose your carefree joy and instead feel like you are being CRITICIZED?

As hormonal change excels, your self-esteem is affected.

Psa.42:5 “Why art thou cast down, O my soul?  And why art thou disquieted in me?   Hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.”

David talked to himself during his depression.

Romans 12:2 “…be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind…”

You must SET new goals.

Trust in the promises of God.

PMS JOKE:  Definitive Signs of PMS are:

1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You’re adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You’re using your cellular phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says, “How’s my driving?  Call 1 800 ***-****.”
6. You’re sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.

Keep in mind that only 2.5% of women suffer from severe PMS.

Don’t use that as an excuse to ACT ungodly.

There is never an excuse to pattern yourself after anyone but Jesus.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

HELP FOR MOODY MENOPAUSAL WOMEN

Menopause also know as “change of life” for women is a natural biological event in which the menses stops when the function of the ovaries begins to cease.

‘Change of life’ comes from a Greek word the root word which means “a critical time.”

We will be using some comments from the book, Woman, a formula for victorious living by Lu Ann Bransby.

80 years is the life expectancy for woman today.

Complex hormonal shifts change a girl into a woman at puberty, a woman into a mother during pregnancy, and terminate a woman’s reproductive life at menopause.

Eccl.3:1 “To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven.”

The early signs of menopause mood changes, abnormal vaginal bleeding, and hot flashes.

MENOPAUSE JOKE ON MOODS –

Safety tip: Your safer teasing a grizzly bear than telling a woman in menopause she’s moody.

Joint and muscle aches, urinary problems, and vaginal dryness are some of the late symptoms.

Menopause is God’s creative design for a woman’s body to cease the possibilities of conception.

In a recent BBC news article, “Women are Happier after Menopause”.  It quoted a Jubilee Report where 76% of post-menopausal women said their health was better, 75% said they had more fun, and 93% said they had more independence, and more choice in everything from work to leisure pursuits.

This is a time when women should take care of themselves more than ever before: mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually.

God ordained changes to be a part of our normal growth.

Psa.56:3 “What time am I afraid, I will trust in thee.”

Remember that you were once an infant, then a pre-schooler, then an adolescent, teenager, adult, wife,  and  now maybe a mother.

Change is growth and God has always been there for you.

Research the best kinds of medical or natural interventions.

CASE AND POINT:  When I went through menopause I started using natural progesterone.  It was like a miracle, taking away all the symptoms.  You can have a doctor test you and find out if you are low on estrogen or progesterone.  I would suggest that you use a natural form of it since the ones with chemicals have side affects.

Don’t forget to exercise and keep a healthy diet which is beneficial.

Challenge your thinking and renew your mind.

Be a blessing to your spouse and family, by taking care of yourself physically.

The Holy Spirit is there to guide you!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be successful.

STUDY YOUR SPOUSE

Would you like to know the best elixir of romance ever invented?  Having it can spell the difference between disappointment and satisfaction.  Here it is:  Knowledge

If you want to know how to best romance your wife, then become a student of her.  Find out what she likes and dislikes, discover her strengths and weaknesses, know her fears and hopes.  What does she consider romantic?  What does she consider a turn-off? What really revs her engine?  What places really make her dreamy-eyed?  What aromas make her heart beat faster?

Make it a point to really get to know your wife.  This will take work!  You can’t just hand her a questionnaire and ask her to fill it out.  You’ll need to listen to her, observe her, ask questions—in other words, study her.  It will take time, but it will be worth it.  Your diligent studies and the knowledge you gain of her will enable you to produce the most potent elixir of love available.

NOTE:  This article is from the book Family Life and Marriage Bible.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

CURING A STIFF NECK

DID YOU KNOW that a lot of neck problems are actually heart problems?  It’s true!  Whenever you see someone called “stiff-necked” in the Bible (2Chron.30:8), the underlying problem is always a hard heart.

So what’s the best way to loosen a stiff neck?  The biblical answer is submission.

We can all better submit to God when we voluntarily submit ourselves to a relationship of accountability.  This submission says to another believer, “I will give you the key to some private rooms in my life.”

Being accountable does not mean, of course, that you give this person the key to every room.  At first, you might give him the key to one very small closet in the basement.  After you experience the freedom that comes from opening that closet, you’ll find that you can turn over even more of those keys.

Submission provides protection.  String may hold a kite down, but that very string also allows it to soar.  A kite that breaks away from the string might experience freedom for a short while, but soon it comes crashing to earth.

Submission in the body of Christ works the same way.  By submitting your life to another to hold you up and to hold you down, you will experience one of the great protections available in the body of Christ.

NOTE:  This article is from the book Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is new post to help your marriage succeed.