LOVE YOUR SPOUSE

HEY WILD THING!

We will continue to look at what a wife does that blasphemes God’s word.

There were 8 items that wives were told to do or else they would blaspheme Gods Word.

We will be looking at the high importance of a wife being chaste.

Titus 2:4-5  “…That they may teach the younger women to be…chaste…”

The word “chaste” comes from the Greek word pronounced hag-nos’ which means PROPERLY, CLEAN, INNOCENT, MODEST, PERFECT, CLEAN AND PURE.

Jesus paid a big price on the cross, and that gives him a right to choose what kind of behavior he expects from His loved ones who will spend eternity with him.

These behavior patterns are very BECOMING for a husband to see coming from his wife also.

1Pet.3.1-2 “…wives …if any (husband) obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.”

This verse is saying that if your husband is unsaved, you don’t even have to say a word.   Just by your chaste conversation, you will win him over.

This is why it is so IMPORTANT for us to be chaste in our behavior and conversation.

2Cor.11:2 “For I am  jealous over you with godly jealousy: for I have espoused you to one husband, that I may present you as a chaste virgin to Christ.”

In this verse Paul was jealous over his own converts so he could present them to Christ just like a chaste virgin is presented to her husband.

We see Apostle Paul using the same word chaste to describe the virgin that is PRESENTED to her husband on their wedding day.

Paul is looking for his converts to live a chaste life cause he wants to be proud of them.

Sad to say, we don’t get to hear a lot of talk about living a HOLY life.

Instead of wives trying to dress modestly, a few years ago we saw a lot of them at age 40 dressing like Britney Spears.

Christian woman should not have all the fad clothes that say “Rock Star” on their Tshirts just to get the attention that they want.

You don’t have to keep up with what all the movie stars are wearing and doing.

Prov.4:24-27 (NAS) “Put away from you a deceitful mouth, and put devious lips far from you.  Let your eyes look directly ahead, and let your gaze be faced straight in front of you.  Watch the path of your feet, and all your ways will be established.  Do not turn to the right or left: turn your foot from evil.”

No Christian wife should have a “wild disposition.”

l love to see the young Christian girls dressed in style without showing their private parts.

CASE AND POINT:  About 30 years ago I went to a church with another pastors wife.  The pastors wife was loud, wild and boisterous.  All she talked about was herself and what she was wearing .  Everyone knew she was in the room cause she was so entertaining.  When the band started playing and the service started she told me and another pastors wife to wait.  About ten minutes later  she said, “Okay let’s go.  I go first and you two walk behind me.”  She was a big woman and swung her hips as she came down the aisle.  She smiled and starred at everyone as she walked down the aisle making sure that they all were starring at her.  I couldn’t believe my eyes as a new convert.  There was nothing “chaste” about her.  Within 5 years, I heard she was divorced from the pastor.  I remember thinking that their marriage was such a bad testimony, but so was her behavior.

Don’t be written on the minds of people around you for the wrong thing.

When you live to PLEASE God, you will please the people around you.

God is searching the world for “chaste” women to represent him!!

Are you one of them?

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

QUEEN, TAKE YOUR THRONE

There are a lot of movies about the Kings & Queens of England.  They are portrayed as people who are not approachable.   The only way to visit them is to be invited.  All others, they are protected from.  Even the ones who are invited to visit the queen must learn an array of items to show respect to the queen.  Like how to bow when she is met, how to leave her presence and how to handle yourself in speaking with her.

In other words, you are to be “discreet.”

In Titus, woman are told if they are not DISCREET that they will blaspheme God’s word.

Titus 2:3-5 “the aged women…they may teach the young women to be discreet…that the word of God be not blasphemed.

The word “discreet” in the Greek means SOUND IN MIND; SELF-CONTROLLED; MODERATE AS TO OPINION OR PASSION.

This is not something that we are born with, it is something we must learn.

If you are not SELF CONTROLLED and have to vent to all, letting everyone at work, home or school know exactly what you think or feel, you are not alone.

Most women aren’t self controlled and that is why this is in the bible.

You are God’s ROYALTY and he wants you to stand out in a crowd.

You are GODS child and he wants to show you off to the world.

In the bible, there is an EXAMPLE of a great man that was discreet.

Gen.41:33 “…let Pharoah…look out a man discreet and wise, and set him over the land of Egypt.”

Joseph interpreted Pharoah’s dream, in turn, when he went to find someone discreet and wise, he found none other than Joseph.

Gen.41;39 “…Forasmuch as God hath shewed thee all this, there is none so discreet and wise as thou art.”

Why?  Because they knew that Joseph had God’s favor in his life.

Why?  Because Joseph used the gifts God gave him to HELP others.

Why?  Because Joseph was wise.

Why?  Because Joseph was DISCREET.

When you have an opinion about something, does that opinion stand first and all others are not considered.

Do people look at you as being FAIR on your judgment.

This has to be at the top of God’s list because EIGHT items were listed to be learned.

Are you the queen of God’s heart?

Then lets learn to be discreet.

Ask God what areas you need to be more like Him.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

TIPS FOR FRAZZLED MOMS

One of the greatest experiences in life is the birth of your children.

I read a sign once and it said, “ When your kids are born, you can’t wait till they can walk and talk.  Once they learn to walk and talk, you keep telling them to “sit down and shut up”.

In Titus the topic of children is brought up.

Titus 2:4 “…that they teach the young women to love their children.”

Once again, we are left with the thought of why women have to learn to love their children when it should come naturally.

That is because it doesn’t come or stay NATURALLY, it is something to be taught and practiced.

No mother will say I don’t love my child but they will all tell you that their child has wore them to a frazzle.

The love that is discussed in Titus, is an UNCONDITIONAL love.

Vacuuming, dusting, cooking and acting like a taxi driver to your child is showing love but it needs to go further.

Your first duty is to make your home life ATTRACTIVE to your husband and children.

Life with your children is a living thing, that means that as your children age, it will change.

There are times that you can have so much fun as a family then it is like tug-of-war each member pulling in a different direction.

Jesus commanded us to love one another.

He is not asking you to do something he has not done HIMSELF.

Whenever you are having trouble with your “love issues”, just move closer to Jesus.

Our job is to be the peacemaker in the home.

Not only are we to be peacemakers, we are to make others be at PEACE.

Jesus said, “ Blessed are the peacemakers…”

CASE AND POINT:  As my children were growing up, my husbands favorite words were “pick your battles.”  I am a disciplinarian and every time a rule was broken, I felt the children needed to suffer the consequences.  He felt differently.  It was hard for me but I was able to see the advantage it was to the family by not making everything a big deal.

It kept a lot of peace in the home.

Not everyone has perfect children, so that is why in Titus, we are told to love our kids.

Every family has at least one child that “listens to a different drummer.”

We can’t make the whole family miserable over one child.

Make sure you get ENOUGH sleep at night or take a nap.

Also, make sure that you get plenty of spiritual rest.

Make sure that you keep your spouse your TOP priority.

If you find yourself upset with your spouse, the chances are that you will end up irritated with your children.

Here are some suggestions that will help you as a parent:

1. Understand that you are not alone.

God is with you to help you.

2.   Take an inventory as to why you are weary.

You might have to much on your plate.

3.  Hire people to help you or swap chores.

Hiring out will give you extra time or rest.

Exchanging days where you will keep a friends kids and they will keep your is always comforting.

God knows what you go through and the help that you need.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

REACTIONS WHEN THINGS GO WRONG

I am sure that if we did a survey and asked wives if they loved their husbands, most would say, “Of Course!”

In Titus, it is one of the commands that all women learn to “love their husbands.”

These verses are here for a reason, and I am going to assume it is because we have a lot to be taught.

Have you ever thought about how much you really love your husband and does your affection show?

Do you share dreams?

Do you still hold hands?

Can you focus on the good and forget the bad things that have happened?

When things go wrong do you scream and pout?

Your husband is human!

Do you really love the man that God has given you?

Then that means that your husband needs “unconditional acceptance” from you.

Accept him for who and what he is, including all his imperfections.

The love that God has for Jesus is the model for love in our marriage relationship.

If you serve your spouse out of duty, with no affection, it would be very offensive to him.

Sex is one of a man’s most important NEEDS!!

I will say that again; Sex is your husbands most important NEED from you.

This is the most important thing on learning to “love your husband.”

Sex may be last on your list, but as a wife, you are to look at every thing through his perspective.  This insight of his perspective will help you with decision making.

Do you resist intimacy?

Do you act uninterested to his sexual gestures?

Your husband is not dumb, he knows when he is being brushed off by you.

He also has feelings and has to deal with rejection when it comes to sex.

Rejection in a man causes an array of emotions since this is such an important part of his life.

You have just torn him at the very center of his being, so now his response will be isolation.

Forget the mopping, the meal, the kids or anything else.  This guy needs a queen who is going to make him feel like a king.

He married you cause he thought you qualified.

Was he right or wrong?

Everyone loves the end of Cinderella but if you remember, it has a very romantic ending.

Well the shoe fit, that is why he married you.

But what happened to the romance??

He is still waiting.

Cherish him the way God planned it to be, “For better or worse.”

You will be thrilled at what it will do for your marriage!!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

MEET A WORTHY QUEEN

How did a nice Jewish girl become queen of the entire Persian Empire?  That’s the story of the book of Esther.  We learn that while Esther was selected from among the most beautiful women of the kingdom to be the queen, she was far more than a beautiful young woman.  Her worthy character reveals itself as this romantic tale suddenly changes into a serious drama.

When Mordecai, the cousin of Queen Esther, informs her of a plot to destroy all the Jews living in the kingdom, he urges her to go to the king  and plead with him on behalf of her people.  But this request presents the young queen with a tough decision.  She knows that the rules and laws of the palace dictate that no one can approach the king without being summoned…and she knows that the queen before her was removed from her position for her insolence.   But because of the urgency of the moment, she decides to risk her position for a higher good.  And in that decision, Esther reveals several things about her relationship with the king:

First, she was  not presumptuous.  She came before him as his queen, wearing her royal robes, but she came humbly, standing and waiting for him to notice her.  She didn’t barge into the throne room.  Even though she had a relationship with the king, she didn’t abuse that privilege.  God, in turn, honored her.

Second, Esther respected her husband and his position as king.  As she reached the throne, she touched his golden scepter, demonstrating that she recognized his authority and power.

Third, Esther began her reply to her husband, “If it please the King.”  In the other two recorded conversations between this king and queen, the same statement prefaces her remarks.  This was not just an official formality, but a genuine expression to Ahasuerus of her overall commitment, respect, and submission to him as her husband and her authority.  Although my husband, Dennis, is not a king like Ahasuerus, he is worthy of my respect.

Before I present my case to Dennis, I also try to assure him of my respectful loyalty to him as my partner and authority.  At times I speak frankly about his weaknesses and how they affect me, but when I do, he is much more able to hear my words because of my loyalty and frequent verbal reassurances.  He knows that even if nothing changes, I will still remain committed to him.

What I learn from Queen Esther and how she respected her husband reminds me of the advice shared by a good friend of ours who was married for nearly 50 years.  Speaking with a small group of women, she said, “Ladies, if you crown him king, he will treat you like a queen!”

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

NOTE:  This article was taken from the book Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey

CURING A STIFF NECK

DID YOU KNOW that a lot of neck problems are actually heart problems?  It’s true!  Whenever you see someone called “stiff-necked” in the Bible (2Chron.30:8), the underlying problem is always a hard heart.

So what’s the best way to loosen a stiff neck?  The biblical answer is submission.

We can all better submit to God when we voluntarily submit ourselves to a relationship of accountability.  This submission says to another believer, “I will give you the key to some private rooms in my life.”

Being accountable does not mean, of course, that you give this person the key to every room.  At first, you might give him the key to one very small closet in the basement.  After you experience the freedom that comes from opening that closet, you’ll find that you can turn over even more of those keys.

Submission provides protection.  String may hold a kite down, but that very string also allows it to soar.  A kite that breaks away from the string might experience freedom for a short while, but soon it comes crashing to earth.

Submission in the body of Christ works the same way.  By submitting your life to another to hold you up and to hold you down, you will experience one of the great protections available in the body of Christ.

NOTE:  This article is from the book Family Life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is new post to help your marriage succeed.

SATURDAY – QUESTION & ANSWER  

Question:  What are a man’s most important romantic needs?

Answer:   Show your husband the following list of needs and ask him if they are true for him.  If so, ask him to prioritize them in order of importance.

1.  He needs his wife to respect and celebrate who he is as a man and how God made him sexually.  A critical wife can create an impotent man.

2.  He needs his wife to make his romantic needs (frequency and creativity) a priority in their relationship.

3.  He needs his wife to desire and make him feel wanted.  He needs his wife to be unashamed of her passion for him.

4.  He needs his wife to be adventure-some, fun, and sexually imaginative.  He needs his wife to be unafraid about using her sexual power as a woman.

5.  He needs his wife to let him know that he is a great lover.  That he brings his wife great pleasure.

Romantic love is part of God’s character.  He made us in His image and He gave us emotions.  Just as He woos us to follow after Him and express our love for Him, so a husband and wife should attempt to win each other’s affections.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

NOTE:  This article was taken from the book Family life and Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

QUEEN, TAKE YOUR THRONE

There are a lot of movies about the Kings & Queens of England.  They are portrayed as people who are not approachable.   The only way to visit them is to be invited.  All others, they are protected from.  Even the ones who are invited to visit the queen must learn an array of items to show respect to the queen.  Like how to bow when she is met, how to leave her presence and how to handle yourself in speaking with her.

In other words, you are to be “discreet.”

In Titus, woman are told if they are not DISCREET that they will blaspheme God’s word.

Titus 2:3-5 “the aged women…they may teach the young women to be discreet…that the word of God be not blasphemed.

The word “discreet” in the Greek means SOUND IN MIND; SELF-CONTROLLED; MODERATE AS TO OPINION OR PASSION.

This is not something that we are born with, it is something we must learn.

If you are not SELF CONTROLLED and have to vent to all, letting everyone at work, home or school know exactly what you think or feel, you are not alone.

Most women aren’t self controlled and that is why this is in the bible.

You are God’s ROYALTY and he wants you to stand out in a crowd.

You are GODS child and he wants to show you off to the world.

In the bible, there is an EXAMPLE of a great man that was discreet.

Gen.41:33 “…let Pharoah…look out a man discreet and wise, and set him over the land of Egypt.”

Joseph interpreted Pharoah’s dream, in turn, when he went to find someone discreet and wise, he found none other than Joseph.

Gen.41;39 “…Forasmuch as God hath shewed thee all this, there is none so discreet and wise as thou art.”

Why?  Because they knew that Joseph had God’s favor in his life.

Why?  Because Joseph used the gifts God gave him to HELP others.

Why?  Because Joseph was wise.

Why?  Because Joseph was DISCREET.

When you have an opinion about something, does that opinion stand first and all others are not considered.

Do people look at you as being FAIR on your judgment.

This has to be at the top of God’s list because EIGHT items were listed to be learned.

Are you the queen of God’s heart?

Then lets learn to be discreet.

Ask God what areas you need to be more like Him.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

TIPS FOR FRAZZLED MOMS

One of the greatest experiences in life is the birth of your children.

I read a sign once and it said, “ When your kids are born, you can’t wait till they can walk and talk.  Once they learn to walk and talk, you keep telling them to “sit down and shut up”.

In Titus the topic of children is brought up.

Titus 2:4 “…that they teach the young women to love their children.”

Once again, we are left with the thought of why women have to learn to love their children when it should come naturally.

That is because it doesn’t come or stay NATURALLY, it is something to be taught and practiced.

No mother will say I don’t love my child but they will all tell you that their child has wore them to a frazzle.

The love that is discussed in Titus, is an UNCONDITIONAL love.

Vacuuming, dusting, cooking and acting like a taxi driver to your child is showing love but it needs to go further.

Your first duty is to make your home life ATTRACTIVE to your husband and children.

Life with your children is a living thing, that means that as your children age, it will change.

There are times that you can have so much fun as a family then it is like tug-of-war each member pulling in a different direction.

Jesus commanded us to love one another.

He is not asking you to do something he has not done HIMSELF.

Whenever you are having trouble with your “love issues”, just move closer to Jesus.

Our job is to be the peacemaker in the home.

Not only are we to be peacemakers, we are to make others be at PEACE.

Jesus said, “ Blessed are the peacemakers…”

CASE AND POINT:  As my children were growing up, my husbands favorite words were “pick your battles.”  I am a disciplinarian and every time a rule was broken, I felt the children needed to suffer the consequences.  He felt differently.  It was hard for me but I was able to see the advantage it was to the family by not making everything a big deal.

It kept a lot of peace in the home.

Not everyone has perfect children, so that is why in Titus, we are told to love our kids.

Every family has at least one child that “listens to a different drummer.”

We can’t make the whole family miserable over one child.

Make sure you get ENOUGH sleep at night or take a nap.

Also, make sure that you get plenty of spiritual rest.

Make sure that you keep your spouse your TOP priority.

If you find yourself upset with your spouse, the chances are that you will end up irritated with your children.

Here are some suggestions that will help you as a parent:

1. Understand that you are not alone.

God is with you to help you.

2.   Take an inventory as to why you are weary.

You might have to much on your plate.

3.  Hire people to help you or swap chores.

Hiring out will give you extra time or rest.

Exchanging days where you will keep a friends kids and they will keep your is always comforting.

God knows what you go through and the help that you need.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

REACTIONS WHEN THINGS GO WRONG

I am sure that if we did a survey and asked wives if they loved their husbands, most would say, “Of Course!”

In Titus, it is one of the commands that all women learn to “love their husbands.”

These verses are here for a reason, and I am going to assume it is because we have a lot to be taught.

Have you ever thought about how much you really love your husband and does your affection show?

Do you share dreams?

Do you still hold hands?

Can you focus on the good and forget the bad things that have happened?

When things go wrong do you scream and pout?

Your husband is human!

Do you really love the man that God has given you?

Then that means that your husband needs “unconditional acceptance” from you.

Accept him for who and what he is, including all his imperfections.

The love that God has for Jesus is the model for love in our marriage relationship.

If you serve your spouse out of duty, with no affection, it would be very offensive to him.

Sex is one of a man’s most important NEEDS!!

I will say that again; Sex is your husbands most important NEED from you.

This is the most important thing on learning to “love your husband.”

Sex may be last on your list, but as a wife, you are to look at every thing through his perspective.  This insight of his perspective will help you with decision making.

Do you resist intimacy?

Do you act uninterested to his sexual gestures?

Your husband is not dumb, he knows when he is being brushed off by you.

He also has feelings and has to deal with rejection when it comes to sex.

Rejection in a man causes an array of emotions since this is such an important part of his life.

You have just torn him at the very center of his being, so now his response will be isolation.

Forget the mopping, the meal, the kids or anything else.  This guy needs a queen who is going to make him feel like a king.

He married you cause he thought you qualified.

Was he right or wrong?

Everyone loves the end of Cinderella but if you remember, it has a very romantic ending.

Well the shoe fit, that is why he married you.

But what happened to the romance??

He is still waiting.

Cherish him the way God planned it to be, “For better or worse.”

You will be thrilled at what it will do for your marriage!!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.