LOVE YOUR SPOUSE

DREAM WORKS

Dreamworks Animation SKG has a philosophy which states: We…embrace innovation, creativity, collaboration, and a solid dose of fun.  This company has made many famous animated movies.

This definition of all these adjectives together mean, “working together to create something for the first time.”

In Mal.2:11, marriage is called “…The  Lord’s holy institution which He loves…”

In Mal.2:14,  it implies that a wife is someone to have fun with, “…the wife…is your companion…”

In Mal.2:15, it explains that God created marriage to obtain Godly children, “But did He not make them one…He seeks Godly offspring…”

I would say that God’s establishment of marriage is embracing innovation, creativity, collaboration, and a solid dose of fun.

A marriage definitely is a “working together to create something for the first time.”

Your wedding day was full of high expectations and excitement.

God gave you to your husband so that he could meet his God-given POTENTIAL.

As the years pass on, there are unmet expectations and great disappointment that starts to invade your marriage.

Do you find yourself trying to SHAPE your husband into the man you desire him to be?

Do you find yourself telling him what you think he should be doing for the kingdom of God?

Do you find yourself frustrated at times because your hopes and dreams have faded and not come to pass?

Prov.31:12 “She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.”

Make it your constant business to do your spouse GOOD and don’t do anything that would displease him.

God knows your husband’s heart and what He created him for.

Let God take the lead since he knows what you both as a couple can ACCOMPLISH.

God knows that it is hard for you to wait on your dreams for your family.

Gal.6:10 “…let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.”

You need to be a peacemaker to him.

Do you make life EASY for him?

Do you attend to him with diligence and tenderness?

Watch over anything that would DAMAGE him, his family, his estate, or his reputation.

Do this with joy and not grudgingly.

You have been given to him “for better or worse, in health or sickness, for richer or poorer.”

You do this because you Love God and desire to please Him and not only your husband.

A virtuous wife brings him GOOD, not harm, all the days of her life.

You need to do these things, not just because it is convenient or profitable.

Your character NEEDS to be steady, reliable, and dependable.

You can do this!  You were made for this!

The dream will come, but it takes work.

TEAMWORK makes the DREAM WORK.

The Dream Works.

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post.  Daily there is a new post.

We have all seen pictures of the “Leaning Tower of Pisa” (Torre pendent di Pisa) in Italy. It took 177 years to build the tower and then it began to sink right after construction began. It was set in weak, unstable subsoil, which was a flawed design from the beginning. After the flaw was discovered, there was an array of interruptions that caused the 177 year delay.

I thought it was a cartoon. My second thought was why anyone would go into that kind of building, just because someone said it is safe. I was convinced it would tip over at any moment.

I am not a little girl anymore, but there are a lot of times I wonder why people are putting their trust in different things.

One area is the way a husband can put his trust in a woman, who FLAUNTS his business to anyone who will listen.

Nothing is sacred!! Not their finances, their relationship, not their sex life.

Since we are still “profile peekers” into the Proverbs 31 woman, let’s continue to look at the verses.

Prov.31:11 “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.”

Her husband has full confidence in her and LACKS nothing of value.

If you are a Christian woman, then you know about being committed.

One of the commands in the bible is to reverence and adapt to your husbands needs. Eph.5:33 “…and the wife see that she reverence her husband…”

If you are a woman who is meeting your husbands sexual needs, then the bible says that “…he shall have no need of spoil.”

Your husband should not have any reason to look elsewhere for love, because his queen is delighted to richly satisfy him.

I am not saying that if your husband has committed adultery on you, it is because you are not having sex with him.

This verse is saying, if you do SATISFY him sexually, he will have no need to go elsewhere.

Use your body to bless him, not as a sex weapon.

Remember that sex is God’s great idea. Heb.13:4 “Marriage is honorable in all and the marriage bed is undefiled…”

When you ask any man, what kind of a woman does he want to marry. His response usually is, ”A woman I can trust.”

Prov.12:14 “A worthy wife is her husbands joy and crown; the other kind corrodes his strength and tears down everything he does.”

What guy is looking for a wife that would TEAR him down?

You need to live with the knowledge that you have done your part.

This is what makes my marriage so EXCITING!!

You are only responsible for your behavior, not your husbands.

I only need to do MY part.

If your husband does not do his part, you are still rewarded for doing your part. You might ever get doubly rewarded for the trust you are putting in God.

Does your husband TRUST you during the day, because when he comes home, there you are with a big smile, lip gloss on, and ready to meet his needs?

He doesn’t have to be jealous because he knows how much you love him by the importance you put on him.

The word “trust” is used 152 times in various forms.

The Hebrew word for “trust” is batach, which signifies to lean on.

When times are bad, this is when he needs to know that he can COUNT on you.

His queen is there to lean on.

When bad times come, do you THREATEN your husband?

When bad times come, do you support him?

CASE AND POINT: One time my husband was so overwhelmed by the “spiritual death” of one of our children. My heart broke more for him than our child. The next day as we talked and strengthened each other, we were able to partner and strengthen one another. We decided that the devil picked on the wrong family, and he was going to be soooo sorry he did.

Start today!

It doesn’t cost a penny. It is free!

Can he lean on you?

Let his heart safely trust in HIS QUEEN!

NOTE: Don’t miss tomorrows post! Daily there is a new post.

THE ESSENCE OF GOODNESS

Henry David Thoreau once said, “Goodness is the only investment that never fails.”  “An investment?”  you ask.  That’s right, an investment…especially in your mate, your children, and your extended family.

Our grayish culture, void of absolutes, has bleached out the once colorful connotations to the word good.  Today, if something is good, that usually means it’s just okay.  Good is third in line at Sears, just behind better and best.  And we all know to steer clear of a good used car– it’s probably been a rental, driven for 225,000 miles, and then used in a demolition derby!

To recover the once lofty meaning of good, recall God’s consistent assessment of the world He made.  I also think of the question Jesus put to the rich young ruler, “Why do you call Me good? No one is good but One, that is, God” (Matt.19:17).

There’s our clue!  Only God is good.  Merrill Unger writes of God’s goodness, “It expresses the supreme benevolence, holiness, and excellence of the divine character, the sum of all God’s attributes”

And God calls your marriage to be good!  You have the opportunity to display “the excellence of the divine character”!

NOTE:  This came from an article in the book, “Family Life Marriage Bible” by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post.  Daily there is a new post.

SATURDAY Q & A

Question #1  My husband goes against everything I try to teach my family.  What can I do as I am trying  to teach them the right way to go in life.

Answer # 1   Remember that God knows how difficult and disappointing that it is for you in your marriage at times.  God wants to give you His wisdom for every situation that rises up.  God can give you the grace to trust Him for the outcome.  There is a woman of wisdom that is in the bible, Abigail.

1Sam.25:32-33 NIV “David said to Abigail, “Praise be to the Lord, the God of Israel, who has sent you today to meet me.  May you be blessed for your good judgment.”

This is a very interesting story in the bible.  David and his men were hiding from Saul in the desert.  They took on odd jobs to survive and one of them was to take care of sheep.  Nabel was a wealthy property owner with sheep, who David protected. One day David asked Nabel for compensation for all the hard work his men and him had done by protecting the sheep.  Nabel flatly refused.  David was furious and he immediately decided that he would kill Nabel. Nabel had a wife named Abigail, who was very wise and was well-respected by all including David.  Look what the bible says in Proverbs.  Prov.11:16 “A kindhearted woman gains respect, but ruthless men gain only wealth.”   Nabel did not get away with his arrogant and greedy actions.  Nabel enjoyed his wealth, but only for a short time.

I am sure that through her marriage to Nabel, she was able to develop a lot of wisdom.  A difficult marriage is able to  bring any spouse to their knees.  A spouse who is not willing to cooperate will cause you to seek Godly wisdom and cause you to embrace prayer.  Abigail did not let Nabels’ opinion to influence her or to affect her life.  This woman obviously had a close relationship with God.

There is a reason that this story is in the Bible.  I believe it is there as an example and pattern of how to handle a difficult husbands decisions.  Abigail had a source to turn to and so do we.  That source is GOD!  ALWAYS keep in mind that we have the Holy Spirit as our guide. The Holy Spirit is a gentleman.  Gently waiting for you to ask.   THANK YOU JESUS!  You are not alone!!

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post.  Daily there is a new post.

ARE YOU A “PROFILE PEEKER”?

So what is a “profile peeker ?”

According to Urban Dictionary, “Such a person…spends large amounts of time on Facebook looking at other people’s profiles, often browsing through your photos, wall, groups, or recent activity posted on your mini-feed.”  It gives the peeker (spy) the ability to know all your friends’ movements and thoughts, to the point of obsession.

We are going to be a “profile peeker” (spy) on the PERFECT WIFE.

She is a wife that most wives do not like to talk about: She’s Perfect!

This perfect woman is the Proverbs 31 virtuous woman.

Yes, we will be spying on her as we peek at her profile.

Who is she?

What does she do?

How does she do all that she does?

Prov.31:10 “Who can find a virtuous woman?  For her price is far above rubies.”

In the Jewish home, every week on the eve of the Sabbath, most Jewish women heard this poem as it was traditionally recited.  Mary, the mother of Jesus must have grown up trying to model herself with the Proverbs 31 woman.

Ruth is the only woman in the bible called “virtuous.”

Ruth 3:11 “…for all the city of my people doth know that thou art a virtuous woman.”

In verse 10, the word virtuous in Hebrew is chayil, which means “strong in all moral and mental qualities.”

This verse shows this woman as being not just morally strong but invaluable.

This virtuous woman has 31 CHARACTERISTICS that are mentioned.

Does this woman sound too good to be true?  She isn’t real.  She is a model of “ideal womanhood.”

Does everyone excel in everything?  NO!

This can be applied to SINGLE woman also.

Even though the virtuous woman is not a real person, this poem was designed to show a woman what kind of a wife she should be and what kind of a wife a man should choose.

We are all gifted in various areas, but we are also at times in our lives STRETCHED beyond our giftedness.

In verse 10, it says, where can he find her?  This is saying that good women are hard to find.

This is telling men not to be confused and LUST after a woman’s beauty.

The focal point needs to be her relationship with God, not her abilities, gifts or marital status.

Her STRENGTH comes from God, regardless of her acquired skills, natural talents, or accomplishments.

Who is the virtuous woman today?

IT IS THE WOMAN WHO PUTS GOD FIRST.

Prov. 12:4 “A virtuous (noble) woman (is) a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed (is) as rottenness in his bones.

This scripture has a very big contrast in it.

FIRST, verse 4 shows that she is a woman of worth and she is commended for her dignity and credit that she adds to her husband.

A morally strong woman is STRENGTH to her husband.

SECOND, in contrast, you can make him ashamed.

You can be as “rottenness to his bones.”

This is constant erosion to his position as the head of the household which is his God ordained position.

Is your husband a king without a crown?

You are that crown of royalty on his head.

Did you find anything out as a “profile peeker”?

Did you learn anything new?

Let’s keep strong moral standards.

Let’s not embarrass our husbands.

Today you can give it your all!

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post.  Daily there is a new post.

ARE YOUR ROOTS SHOWING?

Women try to get away with not dying their hair as long as they can, to SAVE money.

As soon as those roots on your head start showing, you immediately get them dyed.

Women dye their hair because they don’t want anyone to see their real hair color or their GRAY roots.

We know it is a bit vain, but it is a fact that women do dress to impress other women.

There are other roots that many wives have and they look very ugly when they “rear their ugly heads.”

These roots that I am talking about are what the bible calls “…roots of bitterness…”

Heb.12:15 “Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled;”

As I have taught around the world to wives’, the one stronghold that seems the most that women embrace is the BITTERNESS.

Wives many times feel that they have a right to be bitter.

Our Father in heaven doesn’t want us to suffer with these roots that are showing through our life and will eventually grow so deep, they will SUCK the life out of us.

I will be using a book that explains how Jesus used the sycamine tree to  remove evil forces, like bitterness, from ones life.  “Sparkling Gems From the Greek” by Rick Renner.

Luke 17:6 “And the Lord said, If ye had faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye might say unto this sycamine tree, Be thou plucked up by the root, and be thou planted in the sea; and it should obey you.”

The sycamine tree grew throughout the Middle East

Jesus was telling them to forgive 7×70 and it seemed so impossible that in verse 17:5 they said, “…Lord increase our faith…”

Jesus was telling them, if you really want to be free of these attitudes, you can speak to this menacing growth in your life and command it to be planted in the sea!

Why did Jesus use the sycamine tree to illustrate the destructive forces of bitterness and unforgiveness.

1. The sycamine tree had a very large and deep root structure.  Because its roots went down so deep, it was hard to kill.  Its roots were so deep that it had tapped into underground water sources.  Even if you cut it’s base, the tree was unaffected and still alive by its deep roots.  Roots of bitterness go down deep in the human life and lie hidden in the soil of the heart.
2. The sycamine tree’s wood was the preferred wood for building caskets and coffins.  It grew quickly and for that reason was famous in the Middle East.  Bitterness grows quickly and out of control.  Also, it grew best in dry conditions, which describes the Middle East.  When we are spiritually dry, bitterness runs rapid.  This wood was used for coffins shows how deadly bitterness is.  It will kill your joy, peace and spiritual life.
3. The sycamine tree produced a fig that was very bitter to eat.  This fruit was so bitter, it took a long time to eat little by little.  That is what bitterness does.  We keep chewing on it over and over again.
4. The sycamine tree was pollinated only by wasps.  It could be reproduced only by a wasps stinging it right in its heart.  The devil desires to pollinate our hearts by stinging us with bitterness.

Jesus is telling his married couples that it just takes a LITTLE bit of faith to get rid of this bitterness.

We have a precious woman in our church which almost died a few years ago.  She had continual stomach problems.  Finally, one day she couldn’t take the pain anymore and was hospitalized.  They found a huge growth in her colon.  It was, I believe three feet wide and very long,  The doctors were able to salvage enough of her colon so she may lead a normal life.  When I saw the picture, I was amazed that something that enormous could live in her body.

Had it not been removed, she would have died!

What is your DESIRE today?

Do you wish to be free from the bitterness in your life or against your spouse??

Do you want to rip those destructive ROOTS out of your heart?

Do you want those roots of bitterness to resurface and destroy your marriage?

Are you tired of those detrimental attitudes toward your spouse that are killing your JOY and stealing your PEACE?

You would be embarrassed of your roots showing but you flaunt your roots of bitterness that distorts your life towards your spouse.

Stop blaming your spouse and speak to those roots of bitterness to leave.

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post.  Daily there is a new post.

A MAN EXPECTS A WIFE WHO…

NOTE;  This was taken from a book named “Happily Ever After” by Ken Davis.

A MAN EXPECTS A WIFE WHO…

*  is always beautiful and cheerful.

*  could have married a movie star but wants only you.

*  has hair that never needs curlers or a beauty shop.

*  has beauty that won’t run in a rainstorm, because she doesn’t wear makeup.  Her glow is natural.

*  is never sick; she’s just allergic to jewelry and Italian leather shoes.

*  insists that moving the furniture by herself is good for her figure.

*  is an expert at cooking, cleaning house, and fixing the car or computer.

*  is an expert at painting the house.  She even hangs wallpaper by herself.

*  has favorite hobbies of moving the lawn and shoveling snow.

*  hates credit cards and her favorite expression is “What can I do for you, dear?”

*  thinks you have Einstein’s brain and look like Mr. America.

*  says she loves you because you’re so sexy.

BUT INSTEAD HE GETS A WOMAN WHO:

*  speaks 140 words a minute with wind gusts up to 180.

*  was once a model…for a totem pole.

*  is known as a light eater: as soon as it gets light, she starts eating.

*  treats you like a god…offering three burnt offerings a day.  Where there is smoke, there she is, cooking.

*  has hair that, despite what she does, looks like an explosion in a steel wool factory.

*  uses a broom only to fly somewhere.

*  can find you if you get lost–just open your wallet.

*  fights with the neighbors just to keep in practice until you get home.

*  lets you know you have only two faults:  everything you say and everything you do.

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post.  Daily a new post is on.

SATURDAY – QUESTION & ANSWER

Question #1:  How do you get to the root of a problem without blowing up?

Answer #1:  It sounds like you have been prayed for over and over again, but are going in circles without lasting freedom.

Maybe prayer works temporarily, but the problem pops up again.  It could be that the root of the problem has not been dealt with.  It’s difficult getting to the root of a problem when the focus is on the fruit.

There is a saying:  We laugh at someone who cuts down a tree to reach it’s fruit; but the same mistake is made by every person who is over eager and impatient in the pursuit of pleasure.  –William Ellery Channing

If the roots are planted in unhealthy and damaged soil then there will be bad fruit.  Bad fruit can be jealousy, addictions, physical sickness or an array of other issues.  These issues aren’t the deepest problem, but rather an outlet of expression of a deeper problem.  There could be a deeper seated root often festering away ready to explode again.

Only when we let God go to the root of the problem and bring healing, will you truly be free from the fruits that plague your life.

This is going to take more than just communications skills if you are discussing the wrong issues.

1.  I would ask God what the root problem is.  Ask God to start with your heart, not your spouse.

2.  Whatever root God shows you that needs changing, immediately allow the Holy Spirit to start His divine work in you.

3.  When God shows you what deep issue your spouse may have, remember that you are a part of the solution.  That means that you partner with the Holy Spirit in aiding your spouse in what ever way you can.  This is going to take much long-suffering.  Nothing is overnight.  There could be deep childhood hurts that may take years.

4.  Be patient as the Holy Spirit completes His work.  Remember that you are in this for the long haul.

There is a program that I recommend.  It is called PREPARE-ENRICH.  Check with your pastor to see if he is a certified facilitator in this program.  If not, you can look it up in the internet.  They will give you a list of facilitators in your city.  There are an array of questions that you and your spouse answer separately on the internet.  When finished, the facilitator will give you a ten page report.  It is amazing to find out the strong areas in your marriage.  You will also find growth areas that you need to work on.  I highly recommend it because many times it takes a third party who is impartial to recognize problems.

Keep in mind that your marriage is God’s HOLY INSTITUTION.  He desires to help you.

PARTNER WITH THE HOLY SPIRIT!!!

#5 – HOW TO GET YOUR SPOUSE TO THINK YOUR WAY

Let your spouse do most of the talking

We often find ourselves doing all the talking when we want our spouse to do something OUR WAY.

We forget that our spouse has needs, wants, interests and preferences.

It is not all about you!!!!

The only way that you can find out what your spouses CONCERNS are, is to let them talk.

My husband likes to use the saying, “Give a man enough rope and he will hang himself.”

Through life, I have seen this happen over and over, again.

Psa.12:4 “Who have said, With our tongue will we prevail; our lips are our own: who is lord over us?”

In Hebrew, the word “prevail” is pronounced, gabar.  This word means to exceed or to be stronger.

This verse shows a person who is a smooth talker and relies on his own ability and flattering talk to deceive and overcome his listener.

This verse goes on to say, because you have a GIFT of communication, you think you can say what you want.

In the end, those are the ones who will receive greater damnation.  Matt.12:37  “For  by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.”

What are your spouses’ needs?

What are your spouses’ wants?

What are your spouses’ interests?

What are your spouses’ preferences?

Are your spouses’ concerns NOT important to you?

Is it just all about you?    It’s not about you!!!!!!

LISTEN for hints about your spouses concerns?

Sometimes that is all your spouse wants is to be heard.

Your spouse may just want to FEEL important.

Your spouse wants to feel important and be a part.

Ask your spouse questions about your decision, because you may need ADVISE to make it work.

Ask your spouse questions from comments and hints that they have given you.

DON’T DO ALL THE TALKING!  DO MORE LISTENING!

Eccles.5:3 “…a fool’s voice is known by multitude of words.”

In Hebrew, the word “fool” is someone who is stupid or silly.

This verse says, if you want to identify someone who is acting ignorant, just look around and see who won’t stop talking.

CASE AND POINT:  Over 20 years ago my husband was invited to speak at a church.  After the service, we went for coffee with the pastor whose name I don’t remember.  He sat there for over an hour talking about how his song leading has improved.  When we left, so many things went through my mind.  I don’t want this to sound like a “bragamony” but I felt he had a great opportunity to pick my husbands brain.  This pastor was new at pastoring.  My husband had been a missionary for five years in England, pioneered three churches, and at that time had been in ministry approximately 20 years.  Since my husband never makes suggestions on improvements unless asked, we learned how to improve your vocal cords from a pastor that didn’t know how to sing.  Lol!!

I usually learn from my mistakes, but this was a time that I learned from someone else’s.

Let your spouse do most of the talking.

Is your spouse screaming to be heard?

NOTE:  Don’t miss tomorrows post in this series, “How to get your spouse to think your way.”

NOTE: Don’t miss tomorrows post which is a continuation of this series, “How to get your spouse to think your way.” Daily there is a new post.