LOVE YOUR SPOUSE

 RECKLESS BEHAVIOR IN MARRIAGE

The word “mischief” means a reckless behavior that causes discomfort or annoyance in others.

This kind of behavior is laid out in the bible as something that God hates.

Prov.6:16-18 “…the Lord hates…feet that be swift in running to mischief”

This describes a person who is quick and without forethought to sin.

Prov.1:16 “For their feet run to evil, and make haste to shed blood.”

If your heart is full of mischievous vapors and fumes, the Holy Spirit will be grieved.

This is entering into EVIL with plenty of energy and eagerness.

CASE AND POINT: There is a cartoon called the “roadrunner”.  As kids, everyone loved it because the roadrunner almost always got away.  He out ran Wile E. Coyote.  He would play tricks on the coyote and then take off and was hard to be caught.  The roadrunners feet were so fast that one second he was there and the next he was gone.

Don’t be lured and entrapped into sinful activity against your spouse.

Do you have a heart that is INCLINED toward evil instead to toward God?

Jesus feet literally took Him from town to town to heal and let people know the kingdom of God was available to them.  (Matt.4:23)

If you run to mischief against your spouse, it will give you a temporary high but in the end it will be the beginning of your DESTRUCTION.

The Apostle Paul wrote that Jesus came so that we too would be “zealous to do good deeds.”  (Titus 2:14)

When you are zealous in “good deeds” toward your spouse, this is a way to express your love to God with a whole heart.

God hates feet that run rapidly to evil.

God made your feet so that you would desire to use them to do GOOD deeds towards others, including your spouse.

If you have sinned in the past towards your spouse, then turn away and run away!

Stop the RECKLESS behavior that causes discomfort and annoyances in your household.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

 SPOUSE’S SHOULDN’T PLOT AND PLAN WICKEDNESS

Our God is a God that “hates.”  With God, hate is good.

God hates sin!

In Proverbs and Psalms he lists things he hates.

One of them is in Prov. 6:18 “…the Lord hates…a heart that devises wicked imagination…”

God does watch your heart and your thoughts concerning your spouse.

Remember that the heart is the “command and control” center of a person.

Being caught up in sin “in a moment” is one thing; but it’s another thing when you plot and scheme about what type of wickedness to do to someone.

In the Old Testament, premeditated sins were judged harshly compared to sins committed in the passion of the moment. (Joshua 20).

CASE AND POINT:  There was a story about a wife who ran over her husband’s girlfriend.  This story was all over the news.  What made this story hit all the news stations was the type of woman she was.  She was a wonderful gentle woman.  Everyone who knew her said they had never seen her mad.  She was a very elegant and loving woman.   Well then what happened.  She had been married to her husband for over ten years and had a teenage stepdaughter.  She loved them both and devoted her life to caring for their needs.  She received a call that her husband was having an affair and if she wanted to catch him, she should go to a certain hotel.  The person told her that her husband and his girlfriend had been in the room for quite a while but if she came quickly, she would catch them coming out.  She did not believe it was true but she put her step-daughter in the car and headed for the hotel.  As she pulled into the parking lot, her husband crossed with the girl.  She ran over him twice and killed him with his daughter screaming in the car.  At the trial, her step-daughter testified on her behalf.  She told the court that the woman who ran over her dad in the car is not the woman who her stepmother is.  She told the court that her stepmother was overcome with shock and anger.  The wife cried and said she was so sorry and can’t live with the horror of what she did.  I remember wanting the jury to let her go because I felt many women would have done the same thing under those circumstances.  However, murder is murder and I could not justify it if it were one of my family members.  She was sentenced to prison.

What lowered this woman’s sentence was that she did not premeditate it.

She did not have a history of anger and wicked ACTIONS.

Do you have a history of being angry with your spouse?

Do you pursue things that will be DESTRUCTIVE to your spouse?

Remember that if you do, it will also affect others that are around him.

The outcome will affect you as well.

Jesus’ entire mission was a heart that devised plans that would bring BLESSINGS.

Your mission as a spouse needs to be a heart of love, prayer and encouragement.

God loves a heart that ponders RIGHTEOUSNESS, but he hates a heart that devises wickedness.

Which heart best identifies you as a spouse?

RIGHTEOUSNESS OR WICKEDNESS?

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

LOOK TOWARD THE FUTURE

     ARE YOU OR YOUR SPOUSE weighed down or burdened by events from your past? I think some Christians are living life like someone who is trying to drive a car but can’t take his eyes off the rearview mirror. In your own family, you may need to help your mate understand that he or she has no business dwelling on things God has already forgotten.

     One woman I know had been in an ungodly dating relationship that she finally broke off. During the next year, Isaiah 43:18,19 became very real to her, “Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. “What a promise! If you or your spouse struggles over foolish choices in the past, may I encourage you to dwell upon the promise of this passage?

     Along the same lines, Paul writes, “forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus” (phil. 3:13, 14). Paul refused to focus on his rearview mirror. He resolutely looked forward-at the person of Christ. Help your mate do the same. Encourage your children to learn to deal with their failures and receive God’s grace.

NOTE:  This article came from the book Family Life & Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

IT’S A MATTER OF WHO (and WHOSE) WE ARE

Most of our problems-marital and otherwise-can be summed up in two things;

1. We forget who God is.

2. We forget who we are in christ

     When we lose sight of who God is and of our identity as Christians, when we forget that we are children of the King, for whom nothing is impossible, we set ourselves up for failure in the very areas in which God has called us to succeed. This is particularly true in the home.

     When God calls us to marriage and parenthood, He doesn’t promise us that it will always be easy. What he does promise, however, is that He will strengthen us, help us, and uphold us through anything that comes our way. Speaking through the Old Testament prophet Isaiah, God lovingly tells His people, “You are My servant, I have chosen you and have not cast you away: Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (41:9,10).

     Are you struggling with some difficulty in your home right now? If so, remember that you belong to the Creator of the universe, and that you belong to Him. Fear not!

     Take Him at His word … He promised to uphold you.

NOTE:  This article is from the book Family Life & Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.

SPOUSE’S ARE THE FIRST SUSPECT

You are to preserve your life and the life of others including your spouse.

Prov.6:16-17…The Lord hates…hands that shed innocent blood”

Not only does God hate murder but the sixth commandment also commands us not to kill.

Ex.20:13 “Thou shalt not kill…”

Whenever there is a murder, the first suspect is always the spouse.

You might be saying to yourself that you would never physically harm your spouse but we are going to expose sins that LEAD to murder.

First, we must not injure our spouse’s name.

It is a great CRUELTY to murder your spouse’s name.

You injure your spouse when you maliciously slander them.

Psa.35:11 “False witnesses did rise up; they laid to my charge things that I knew not.”

Do you talk about your spouse with your family?

Do you tell his family when you feel he had done something you don’t APPROVE of?

What about when you are at work with co-workers or other friends?

Any BELITTLING of your spouse with others, is murdering their name.

Second, you must not injure them in their body.

God made this command to PRESERVE life.

Gen.9:6 “Whoever  sheds man’s blood, by man shall his blood be shed; for in the image of God made he man.”

God made your spouse for him to enjoy and he has a reason and purpose for his life.

The following is a list of EMOTIONS that lead to murder:

Anger produces murder.

 Jacobs sons Simeon and Levi murdered and it is recorded in the bible for all to read.  Gen.49:6”…In their anger they slew a man…”

Envy produces murder.

In Gal.5:21, the apostle puts envy and murder together.

Satan envied and murdered our first parents.

Envy first begins by being DISCONTENTED against God then ends in injuring man.

Envy is deep rooted and wants blood to be quenched.

Hatred produces murder.

The Pharisees hated Christ because he was more POPULAR among the people.

Haman hated Mordecai because he would not bow to him and wanted to destroy the whole Jewish race.

You can commit murder in many ways:

• With the hand  2Sam.20:10
• With the mind  1John 3:15
• With the tongue  John 18:30
• With the pen   2Sam.11:15
• By plotting another’s death  1Kings 21:10
• Witchcraft   Deut.18:10
• By having an intention to kill another   Matt.2:8,13
• By consenting to another’s death   Acts 22:20
• Unmercifulness   Deut.24:6

Although this has been a gruesome subject, remember that it starts with our mouth.

If you are HARBORING anger, envy or hatred in your heart towards your spouse, this is the time to let it go.

You are killing your marriage.

You can bring LIFE into your marriage by asking the Holy Spirit to give you guidance and direction.

Ask God to forgive you and become the spouse that you and God want you to be.

Take that FIRST step and God will lead you through the rest!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

DO YOU LIE TO YOUR SPOUSE? 

Studies show that the average person lies several times a day.

In God’s word, He calls lying an ABOMINATION.

In the Greek, an abomination is “something disgusting.”

Prov.6:16-17  These six things the Lord hates…a lying tongue…”

Do you tell your spouse to tell people lies for you like to say that you are not home when you are?

Do you tell “little white lies” just to keep yourself out of trouble?

Do you exaggerate to your spouse things you have heard?

80% of people are not truthful.

The Bible is the measuring tape we must use to determine truth.

In Col.3:9, the word “lie”, in the Greek is talking about any type of falsehood.

In every instance where the word pseudo (lying) is used, it carries the idea of someone who misrepresents who he is by what he does and by what he says.

Is lying to your spouse something that you commonly do?

These believers in the New Testament STRUGGLED with lying.

Each and every one of us have had at some time or another been tempted to lie to our spouse.

Truthfulness is the FOUNDATION to a successful marital relationship.

Quit telling yourself that you are just exaggerating a little!

Lying is an ugly EVIL!!

The bible tells us that the devil is the “father of all lies.”

The devil is behind all lies and God commands us not to lie to our spouse.

Examine yourself to see if you are not INFECTED with the disease of falsehood before you point your finger at someone else.

If you don’t keep your word, you are guilty of lying.

Rom.12:17-21 “Recompense to no man evil for evil.  Provide things honest in the sight of all men.  If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.”

FEAR and PRIDE are many times why we lie.

First, we are afraid of the consequences we will suffer if we tell the truth.

If we YIELD to fear, then we are showing God that we do not trust him.

Second, we are prideful and concerned about what men will say about us.

We often lie because we want the APPROVAL of man.

The bible tells us that out of a man’s mouth will come out what is in his heart.

Matt..15:18  “Those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart.”

It is a very serious matter with God when we lie to our spouse.

Don’t act like it’s not a “big deal” and you can lie to your spouse.

IT’S AN ABOMINATION!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage to be successful.

ARE YOU BETTER THAN YOUR SPOUSE?

If you let pride enter your heart against your spouse, you are in danger of falling into temptation.

Someone who is proud is said to be “haughty.”

One of the things that God hates is a proud (haughty) look.

Prov.6:16 “These six things doth the Lord hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him: A proud look…”

A spouse with haughty eyes is when you exalt yourself above your spouse and are looking down on them.

Are you someone who gets on your “high horse” against your spouse?

We say that a proud person “looks down his nose” at others; do you do that to your spouse?

Are you arrogant and act “stuck up”?

When David’s heart became prideful, the devil stirred him up to number the people.

In 2Sam.24:15 says that the consequence was God sent a pestilence and 70,000 men died in three days.

Pride keeps grace from striving.

“God resists the proud and gives grace to the humble.”

You may look down on your spouse for many different reasons.

Pride causes you and your spouse to be DISTANT, whereas, humility draws you to be close.

In order to keep you from being proud, God may let you fall into the enemies hands for a while, so you will be cured of your swelling.

2Cor.12:7 “Lest I should be exalted, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to buffet me.”

What does the enemy use to make you act prideful around your spouse?

Check your heart for any BRUISES.

Psa.12:3 “The Lord shall cut off all flattering lips, and the tongue that speaks proud things.”

Prov.21:4 “A high look, and a proud heart, and the plowing of the wicked IS SIN.”

Let the Holy Spirit dig into the deep, secret part of your heart and dig out that bruised part and make it new again.

God hates pride in your marriage because pride is a MARRIAGE KILLER.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help make your marriage a success.

 IS YOUR MARRIAGE A HOLY INSTITUTION?

When a wife desires to glorify God with her life, then her mission brings blessings to her household.

God is a God of details and of order.

We learn that all through the old and new testament.

When he created marriage, His “holy institute” (Malachi 2:11) “which he loves”, he placed and positioned an order.

The order for marriage is the husband as the head of the house, the wife as the keeper of the household and then the “godly offspring”(Malachi 2:15).

In Titus 2:5 says, “be…subject to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”

The Greek word for “being subject” is HUPOTASSO.

Wives, at this point you are saying, “I could care less what “hupatasso” means.

YES!!  You care if you will “listen up” for a minute.

HUPO means “under.”  TASSO means “arrange in orderly manner, assign a certain position or task.”

Paul is saying, “Wives, place yourself in a position of being in submission to your husband who is in authority over your family.

SUBmission is a mission!

It is a mission to allow God’s order in our home and to teach our offspring to be Godly.

Eph.6:1 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”

This word “obey” is commanding children to obey their parents.

Hupotasso is a choice the wife makes as her husbands equal, to put herself underneath her husbands direction to keep order in the home.

Hupatasso is a military terms describing soldiers on the battlefield obeying authority to facilitate effective warfare.

In other words, it is the wife who makes her home free of the enemies devices as she lines up and does her best when she is supporting her husbands agenda.

Submission is a spiritual attitude.

Women are good at having ATTITUDES.

Let’s be known by our children for having a “spiritual attitude” in our home.

Do it not because you have to obey your husband, do it because you are sold out for Jesus!!!

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

REWARD FOR BEING KIND TO YOUR SPOUSE 

Are you helpful to your spouse in deed and with advice?

Is your conversation PLEASING?

Titus 2:5 “Be good…that the word of God be not blasphemed.”

The Greek word for “good” is AGATHOS.  

AGATHOS refers to that which is “good”.

This would be a person who is beneficial to others.

When you are good and kind to your spouse, God MULTIPLIES it a hundred times.

“…other seed fell into the good (agathos) soil, and grew up, and produced a crop a hundred times as great.”  Luke 8:8

Yes, God multiplies your good deeds ONE-HUNDREDFOLD!

It is said that in a persons mind, one bad deed takes 20 good deeds to cover it.

That means that every time you hurt or upset your spouse DELIBERATELY, it takes 20 good deeds before he forgets about the one mean action.

That is the way the brain works.

That is not the way it is with God because he will bless the GOOD DEEDS in our life a hundred times over.

That is the God that we serve!!!

Goodness comes from a place in your HEART.

We are to be sympathetic, considerate and gentle, even when you feel your spouse is undeserving.

When you are KIND you are being like Jesus.

Paul said in Eph.4:32  “Be kind (agathos) to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.”

Has your unkindness, or hard-heartedness made your marriage better?

Has your unforgiveness brought peace and love into your home?

Has MEANNESS to your spouse brought the presence of God’s Holy Spirit right into your home?

Ask yourself how you would feel if God treated you the way you treat your spouse.

God brought you into your spouse’s life to be his greatest SUPPORTER.

Our job is not to be the corrector or boss.

Remember that you are the cheerleader, not the COACH!

CASE AND POINT:  When most people think of the kindest person, most will think of Mother Theresa.  Her life is one of a person who whole-heartedly showed kindness to everyone.  She went to the poor and dying with her love and compassion.  Below is a quote from her.

Mother Theresa:  “At the end of our lives, we will not be judged by how many diplomas we have received, how much money we have received, how much money we have made or how many great things we have done.  We will be judged by “I was hungry and you gave me to eat.  I was naked and you clothed me.  I was homeless and you took me in.”

Mother Theresa died in 1997 and the following has been said of her world-wide: “Her works and mercy knew no boundaries.”

Is it really so hard to show goodness and kindness to your spouse?

Mother Theresa said, “Each one of them is Jesus in disguise.”

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage be a success.

FREEDOM FROM CRIPPLING FEAR

    HOW DOES FEAR SHAPE YOUR response to life’s difficult moments, especially in the family?

Fear pushes some to procrastinate and put off decisions they know they should make. Others erect barriers to keep anyone from truly knowing them. Still others are controlled by a fear of failure. Finally, fear drives people away from God. Some men and women refuse to surrender to God and His will, fearing what He might require of them.

So what is the best antidote to this kind of crippling fear? Hear what Isaiah  says, “Say to those who are fearful-hearted, “Be strong, do not fear! Behold, your God will come with vengeance, with the recompense of God; He will come and save you” (35:4). The best antidote to crippling fear is prayer and total surrender of your will to Jesus Christ.

How many things do you really need to worry about? None. Instead, you should entrust your situation to a loving and almighty God. Your Lord wants you to approach Him with an attitude of gratefulness for who He is, what He has done, and what He will do. As you pray and yield your life, marriage, and family to God, and as you learn to “be anxious for nothing” (Phil. 4:6) and begin “casting all your cares upon Him” (1. Pet. 5:7), God will begin to replace your fears with faith.

NOTE:  This article is from the book Family Life & Marriage Bible by Dennis and Barbara Rainey.

NOTE:  Daily there is a new post to help your marriage succeed.